Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Muppet Babies ♪

♪ They make their dreams come true ♪

♪ Muppet Babies ♪

♪ They'll do the same for you ♪

♪ When your world looks kind of weird ♪

♪ And you wish you weren't there ♪

♪ Close your eyes and make believe ♪

♪ That you can be anywhere ♪

♪ Kermit loves adventure, Miss Piggy is a star ♪

♪ Summer loves to paint, and Fozzie's jokes are... ♪

- Wocka wocka! - Hey, that doesn't even rhyme.

- ♪ Animal's on drums, Gonzo's off in a flash ♪

♪ Everybody duck, 'cause I think he's gonna... ♪

- Is everything all right out here?

all: Yes, Miss Nanny.

- ♪ Muppet Babies, they make their dreams come true ♪

♪ Muppet Babies ♪

♪ They'll do the same for you ♪

- Mee mee mee, mee.

- He said, "Bunsen Knows All."

- Mee mee.

- I knew he was going to say that.

- [groans]

- [humming]

- Okay, Kermit, here's one for you.

Why did the rubber chicken cross the playground?

- I give up. Why?

- To get to the other slide. Ah?

- I think your rubber chicken is broken.

- Yeah, it's supposed to make a funny squeaka squeaka

when I squeeze it,

but it doesn't work so good anymore.

- Whee! - [chittering]

- I knew it. A perfect landing.

- Mee mee mee mee, mee mee mee.

- Hey, Bunsen, Beaker.

Pull up a block and join us.

- We would love to. Here.

Let me fix that for you.

See? Extra mass on the bottom

will make your blocks more stable.

- Hey, you're right. Thanks, Bunsen.

- Good morning, everyone.

To welcome Bunsen and Beaker,

I made extra-yummy apple slices.

babies: Yay!

- Mmm-mmm. Delicious!

...which is also a kind of apple.

Right, Miss Nanny?

- You are correct, Bunsen.

There is a kind of apple called Red Delicious.

[laughs] You sure know a lot for your age, Bunsen.

- Thank you.

- Bunsen, do you know

what might help my friend, Greeny McPlant Plant,

not be so droopy?

- A little less sun and a little more water

should perk your plant right up.

- Thanks, Bunsen.

Come on, little bud. Let's get you a drink.

- Hey, Bunsen, since you know everything,

what game do you think we should play right now?

- Hmm, I would say backyard helicopter tag.

- Great idea! [all cheering]

- Bunsen, I think it's amazing

how you know so much about, you know, everything.

So can you tell me?

Where do rubber chickens come from?

- Uh, excuse me?

- Look! No more squeaka squeaka.

I need a new one. Where do they come from?

- Um...right.

That's actually quite an interesting question...

um, with an equally interesting answer.

[all laughing and shouting] - Mee-mee-mee-mee!

- But first, I need a quick consult with my assistant.

Be right back.

[all laughing and shouting]

- Mee-mee-mee-mee! - Beaker, stop helicoptering!

We have a problem! - Mee-ee!

- Fozzie just asked me a question...

and I didn't know the answer!

- Mee mee? - Shh!

[all laughing] - Ha-ha!

Fun fact: helicopters can fly sideways!

What am I going to do? I can't say I do not know.

- Mee mee? - Because it would appear

super embarrassing, since everyone thinks

I know everything.

Oh, how do I figure it where rubber chickens come from?

- Greeny McPlant Plant, you look better already.

- [honks]

- [laughs] You're right, Beep.

You do look like a chicken tree.

- A chicken tree? That's it!

I will just make up a teeny, tiny fib

until I can find out the real answer.

Come on, Beaker! - [groaning] Mee!

- So as you see, Fozzie,

the answer to your super interesting question,

"Where do rubber chickens come from?" is...

from rubber chicken trees, of course!

- Mee mee mee...

- Of course!

But, um, where do I find one of these rubber chicken trees?

- Uh...another good question.

You need to grow a rubber chicken tree.

First, take a rubber chicken egg and plant it in the ground.

Second, add water and wait.

Third, once the rubber chicken tree has sprouted,

carefully pull the rubber chickens off of its branches

and resume comedy. Squeaka squeaka!

- Wow, Bunsen, you really do know everything.

I'm gonna go look for a rubber chicken egg right now.

- [groaning] Mee.

- Yes, I do feel bad for telling a fib.

But it made Fozzie happy, so what could it hurt?

- Mee mee.

[pondering music]

- Hmm, if I were a rubber chicken egg,

where would I hide?

Not here.

Not there.

[sighs] Hey, guys, could you help me?

- Sure, Fozzie. We're taking a break

from playing helicopter tag.

- [imitates whirring, laughs]

- Well, except Animal.

- Oh, that'd be great, Kermit.

I need your help finding a rubber chicken egg

so I can grow a rubber chicken tree.

- [laughs] Good one, Fozzie.

But you forget to say "wocka wocka."

- It's not a joke.

Bunsen told me I could grow a new rubber chicken with one.

- Well, Bunsen is pretty smart.

- Let's help, Kermie.

- Great. You guys check

that side of the yard, and if you find one,

just shout out, "Ba-boing!"

- You got it, Fozzie. - Okay!

- [clucking]

- The chicks!

I'll ask an egg-spert where to find a rubber chicken egg.

Hey, Camilla, any chance you got a spare rubber chicken egg

I could borrow? - [surprised cluck]

- Oh, chickens only have real eggs?

Got it.

- So first, you take three hops backwards...

- Hey, guys.

What's that you're playing with?

- It looks like a rubber chicken egg.

- Well, how else would we play

Rubber Chicken Egg Toss One Legged Backwards Hop?

[chuckles] Now, if you don't mind...

- Hey, Fozzie! Ba-boing! Ba-boing!

- Kermit! You found a rubber chicken egg?

Awesome! May I borrow it, Gonzo?

- But we're in the middle of a game.

- Oh, come on. Please?

We need it so Fozzie can grow a rubber chicken tree.

- That sounds so weird...

that I can't resist!

Here you go, kid.

- Thanks, Gonzo!

- Bunsen taught me how to take care of plants.

Can I help? - Everybody can help!

We'll make it a rubber chicken tree planting party.

Come on! [all cheering]

- [imitating helicopter]

- Beaker, I told you.

Fozzie can't find a rubber chicken egg

because they don't exist.

- Bunsen! Look what we found.

- A rubber chicken egg?

- Yeah. So where's the best place

to plant a nice, big rubber chicken tree?

- Yeah! - Yeah, we can't wait

to plant it. It's gonna be so much fun!

- Uh, according to all I know about rubber chicken trees--

which is a lot-- the best spot to plant one

is, um...

the sandbox!

Rubber chicken trees love sand.

It reminds them of going to the beach.

- Mee mee...

- Boy, does this guy know everything or what?

- How do we get started?

- [rhythmically] ♪ So you'd like to ♪

♪ Grow a rubber chicken tree ♪

♪ Well, friends, I have good news ♪

♪ I've studied this extensively ♪

♪ In rubber chicken school ♪

- Ooh, that's fancy-shmancy.

- ♪ First, find the spot in the sandbox ♪

♪ That's exactly in the middle ♪

♪ Then dance a goofy dance on it ♪

♪ To tenderize the soil ♪

♪ Grab the shiniest of shovels ♪

♪ Everybody, gather round ♪

♪ 'Cause this is definitely something ♪

♪ I know everything about ♪

♪ Now, take one tiny scoop of sand ♪

♪ And pass the shovel to your friend ♪

♪ Digging holes all by oneself ♪

♪ Is something I don't recommend ♪

♪ Drop the egg inside the hole ♪

♪ And, to be sure it won't escape ♪

♪ Shovel all that sand back in there ♪

♪ At an expedited rate ♪

all: What? - That means quickly.

all: Oh!

- ♪ Now squeeze some little droplets ♪

♪ From an extra-dirty sponge ♪

♪ Rubber chicken trees like water ♪

♪ With a little bit of grunge ♪

♪ Dry the sand with a towel, uh, smooth it with a rake ♪

And then wait.

both: Okay...

- ♪ And after 97 seconds, plus or minus 2 or 3 ♪

♪ Up from the ground will start to sprout ♪

♪ A most majestic sort of tree ♪

♪ And once you lay your eyes upon it ♪

♪ Will there be any doubt that this is absolutely ♪

[together] ♪ Positively ♪ - ♪ Definitely ♪

[together] ♪ Resolutely ♪ - ♪ Definitely something ♪

- ♪ I know everything about ♪ - ♪ He knows everything about ♪

- [imitates whirring]

- Okay, the rubber chicken egg's planted.

So now we just wait, right, Bunsen?

- Um, yes, Fozzie.

- Mee mee mee! - You are right, Beaker.

No one is going to be happy

when nothing grows out of the sand.

So I guess it is time to tell Fozzie

it was just a made-up story.

[rumbling] - Whoa-oh-oh!

[all shouting]

[trumpeting fanfare]

all: Whoa!

- It actually worked!

- See, everybody? I knew it.

Bunsen was right!

- I guess I was right.

I mean, of course I was!

- So what are we waiting for?

Let's start pickin' and a-squeakin'!

[grunting]

Aw, I can't reach it. Stand back, everybody.

Come on...

- Whoa! - Ah!

- Ah! It's bouncing everywhere!

- Get it!

- [grunts] - I got it, I got it, I got it!

[grunts, gulps]

- Ha-ha! Come to Gonzo!

Or don't.

- [grunts] Bunsen!

How do you catch a bouncing rubber chicken?

- Well, obviously, um...

by using the bouncy pond to bounce even higher!

- Great idea, Bunsen!

[all cheering]

all: [grunt] Almost!

[all shouting and laughing]

- Ooh!

Oh, no. My rubber chicken is gone.

- Oops. Any ideas?

- [imitating fanfare] ♪ Mee mee mee! ♪

Mee!

[dizzily] Mee-ee-eee?

- Good question, Beaker.

How do we get down from here, Bunsen?

- Well, you could...

[stammers] Or possibly, maybe...

the truth is, Fozzie...

I don't know.

all: Wha?

- Bunsen, I don't understand.

There's something that you don't know?

- I don't know a lot of stuff...

including where rubber chickens come from.

- So why did you say you did?

- I guess I liked being the kid

who knows more than everyone else

and I was too embarrassed to admit,

sometimes...I don't.

- [sweetly] Well, I'm glad you told the truth, Bunsen,

but I wish you'd done it

[growling] before you got us stuck in a tree!

- Oh, if I hadn't fibbed so much,

this wouldn't have happened to everyone.

[groans] - Helicopter!

[imitates whirring]

- Everyone except Animal!

Animal, we are in need

of your formidable vertical-aerial capabilities!

- Wha?

- In other words,

can you fly up there to rescue everyone?

all: Hi!

- Okay! Helicopter!

[grunts]

[imitating whirring]

[all cheering]

- Yay! All right!

all: Whoa!

- Ooh-hoo!

- [groaning] Oh!

I'm really sorry for fibbing

about the rubber chicken tree, Fozzie.

- It's okay, buddy.

It was a great story even if it wasn't real.

- Oh, Fozzie!

[sing-song] Look what I've got!

- [gasps] A brand-new rubber chicken!

[chicken squeaks]

- I ordered you a new one

when I noticed your old rubber buddy

stopped squeaka-squeaka-ing.

- So Miss Nanny,

where do rubber chickens really come from?

- I got that one from a funny joke shop online,

but I don't know where the shop got it from.

I'll have to call and ask. [laughs]

They certainly don't grow on trees.

- Hmm...if you don't know something,

just ask someone who does.

I think I could get used to that.

- Mee mee mee mee, mee mee mee mee.

- I don't know, Beaker. I will ask Fozzie.

Fozzie, why did the chicken cross the theme park?

- Ah!

To get to the other ride!

Wocka wocka! [chicken squeaks]

- [chuckles] - [laughing] Mee-mee-mee-mee.

- I'm glad I asked.

[laughter]

- "Doctor Fozzie"!

Hmm...

- How do I sound, doc?

- I don't know! I can heart-ly hear a thing!

[laughter] Ah! Wocka wocka!

[indistinct chatter] - Okay, stick out your beak

and say "wocka wocka."

- Hey, whatcha doing, Fozzie?

- Call me Dr. Fozzie,

'cause I'm giving my rubber chicken a checkup.

[chicken squeaks]

Hmm...he sounds a little squeaky.

Oh, don't worry, Sir Featherbrain.

Dr. Fozzie'll fix you right up.

Here you go! A bandage.

This should make you feel lots better.

I announce this rubber chicken cured!

- Wow, you're a really good doctor, Fozzie.

- Thanks.

I guess I'll go look for my next patient.

- Ooh! Maybe I could be your next patient.

- Terrific.

Have a seat right here on my exam table.

Hmm...

Do you feel hot? - No.

- Are you seeing spots? - Just on your tie.

- It's a good thing you came to see me

when you did, Kermit.

You're looking very green. Ah?

[both laugh]

Next, we have to check your reflexes.

- What does that mean? - It means,

if I bonk your knee here, your leg should kick.

- Oh. Okay.

[bonk]

- Oh! - Whoops.

- Good reflexes.

[both laugh]

- Hey, what do you think they're laughing at?

- Maybe a band of naughty squirrels

has broken into the playroom

and is tickling the bottoms of their feet

with peacock feathers!

girls: Huh?

- Or we could just ask them.

[laughter] - Hey.

What are you guys doing?

- Fozzie's playing doctor, and I'm the patient.

- This patient has a severe case of greenitis.

all: Greenitis?

- Greenitis? Oh, no!

- But do not fear.

Dr. Fozzie knows what we need to do.

- Stand on our heads

while using our feet to juggle a potato?

all: Huh? - A what?

- Or a tomato? Brussel sprouts?

I'm not married to the potato.

- Nope!

We need to get this frog

to Dr. Fozzie's Get Well Soon Center, stat!

That means quick. All the doctors say that on TV.

- Get Well Soon Center? That sounds funneriffic!

- Yeah, yeah!

- Oh, take moi with you, Dr. Fozzie!

- You can all come.

Everyone can have a job!

Gonzo, you can be my nurse.

That's the doctor's number one helper-outer.

- Yes-uh!

- Summer, you can be the bandage sticker-on-er.

- [gasps] Yay!

- Piggy, you can be my ambulance caller-upper.

Ah? - You got it!

- One ambulance comin' up! [whistles]

[bellows] Animal!

- What? - You get to be the ambulance.

- Oh! Okay!

[imitates siren]

- To the Get Well Soon Center, Animal, stat!

- Stat! [cackles]

- [warbling]

- [imitating siren]

[playful music]

Stat! [laughs]

- And how's my favorite patient feeling?

- Eh, about the same, actually.

- I'd better review your file before we start.

It has all the details about your case.

Nurse Gonzo!

- Ye-e-es?

- Get me this frog's file, please.

Let's get to work.

- Work? Blegh.

Um, you know, I would help,

but I'm on a nurse's break. [whistles]

- Uh, all right. Uh, Kermit?

Lean back and relax.

Helpers, let's get this patient extra comfy.

- Okay. How's this?

- [yelps] - Oopsie!

- No, no, no, Summer. The bed goes like this!

- [yelps] - Oh, gosh.

- Uh-oh. - Sorry, Kermit.

Here you go. - [yelping]

- There. Comfy, huh?

- Yeesh.

- So now, let me write you a prescription

for extra-strength jokes.

- Ooh.

- Do you really think jokes

can make someone feel better, Dr. Fozzie?

- Sure I do. You know what they say:

laughter is the best medicine.

Wocka wocka!

[playful music]

♪ Ha-ha! Hee-hee! ♪

♪ Ho-ho! Ha-ha! ♪

♪ After years of Dr. Fozzie-ing ♪

♪ There's one thing that I've learned ♪

♪ And now I'd like to share with you my evidence ♪

♪ If a friend is feeling out of sorts ♪

♪ And you're a bit concerned, well ♪

♪ Laughter is the bestest medicine ♪

♪ Just one dose ♪

♪ Of funny jokes ♪

♪ Can flip a frown right over to a smile ♪

♪ Sure, I'm not really a doctor ♪

♪ But there's one thing that I know ♪

♪ Laughter is the bestest medicine ♪

♪ Ha-ha! Hee-hee! ♪

♪ Ho-ho! Huh-hoo! ♪

♪ Yes, a little chuckle is the universal pick-me-up ♪

♪ And it's not just for froggies and amphibians ♪

♪ So if your pal is down and needs a little cheering up ♪

♪ Well, laughter is the bestest ♪

♪ Laughter is the bestest ♪

♪ Laughter is the bestest medicine ♪

And now, get ready for a big dose of vitamin J!

The J stands for "joke." Get it?

[clears throat] What's the best day

to eat ice cream?

- Uh, what?

- Sunday!

- Ice cream? For me?

- Yup.

Anything to make my patient well again.

- I can feel my greenitis getting better already.

- But when do the helper-outers get ice cream?

- Yeah. - Sorry, you guys.

Ice cream is only for patients.

- Only for patients?

[gasps] Woe is me! [groaning]

[solemn string music]

- Summer! Are you okay?

- I'm feeling just awful!

- Oh, no!

Our bandage sticker-on-er-er is sick too!

What should we do, Dr. Fozzie?

- [quietly] Get her some ice cream!

- Wait, who said that?

- Quick, call her an ambulance.

- [bellowing] Animal!

- [imitating siren]

- Take Summer to room 102, Animal.

Stat! - Stat!

[imitating siren]

Here you go.

- Okay, what seems to be the trouble?

- It's my poor, sick belly button.

- Your belly button's sick?

- Very!

I'm probably gonna need lots of ice cream--

I mean treatment.

- You wait right here, Summer, and I'll be right back

with funny jokes and ice cream.

Chocolate or vanilla?

- Chocolate. - Got it.

- No, vanilla. - Okay.

- No, no, wait. Chocolate.

- Hey, do you happen to have any ketchup-and-mayo ripple?

- Sorry, Nurse Gonzo.

The ice cream is for patients, remember?

- Oh, oh!

My eyelash!

It has a terrible, horrible, uh...tickle.

- An eyelash with a tickle?

Sit here and I'll take a look.

Stick out your tongue and say "ah!"

- [imitating Fozzie] Ah!

- Say "knock-knock"! - Knock-knock.

- Who's there?

- Me.

And I'm ready for my ice cream now.

- Wait, that's not how the joke--

- Chocolate or vanilla is fine, thank you.

- Ice cream's not the treatment for a tickly eyelash.

For that, I use a washcloth soaked in water

mixed with a spoonful or two of Scratch-the-Itchy dust.

- What? Kermit and Summer get ice cream

and I get a spoonful of Scratch-the-Itchy dust?

- Yeah, ice cream's a belly button thing.

- Or greenitis.

- Or weird wooziness.

- I can't even get the Scratch-the-Itchy dust.

I'm not a patient.

Oh, look at that! Break time.

[whistles]

- [growls]

[sweetly] Oh, no, doctor!

I'm suddenly feeling weirdly woozy!

I really need some ice cream.

- Oh, boy.

Now everybody needs ice cream and jokes.

I really need some help. Nurse!

- Ye-e-es?

- Nurse, are you still on break?

- Nope. - Great!

- But I'm not a nurse anymore. I'm a patient now.

- You look perfectly healthy. What's wrong?

- I think it would be obvious. Look at my nose!

It's bent.

- Uh, Gonzo?

I'm pretty sure your nose has always been a little bent.

- It has? Why has no one ever told me?

- Well, I guess you'll need a bandage.

Bandage sticker-on-er-er?

- Sorry, Fozzie.

It's much more fun being a patient.

- Moi agrees.

Somebody else can be your ambulance caller-upper too.

- But I can't do all those jobs by myself.

- Dr. Fozzie, I need your help!

- Uh, be right there, Kermit! Uh, uh, I'll be right back.

- Look.

I think my greenitis is getting worse again.

- Oh, boy. - Dr. Fozzie!

My belly button needs a pillow.

- Oh, mama. Okay, hold on, Kermit.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

I'm ready for my chocolate ice cream now.

Uh, no! Vanilla.

- Moi would love some too.

- Still waiting on that ketchup-and-mayo ripple.

- Um, just one--one moment.

I need help! - I need jokes!

- I need ice cream!

- I'll have vanilla.

No, no, no! Chocolate!

- Do you happen to have any mustard yogurt?

- Oh, good. Animal is here to help.

- Watch out! Stat!

- [warbling]

[groans dizzily] - Oh, Dr. Fozzie.

There you are. I'm ready for my jokes.

- What kind of Get Well Soon Center

are you people running here?

Moi is still waiting for ice cream.

- Ice cream? - Where?

- Ice cream emergency!

- [sighs] Sorry.

I'll get you guys that ice cream.

Just as soon as I take a little break.

- Break? Are you feeling okay, Fozzie?

- Oh, yeah. I just overdid it a little

trying to do everything myself. [groans]

- Guys, come here.

- [groans]

- It's our fault Fozzie overdid it.

If we had helped him instead of pretending to be sick,

he wouldn't have run around and gotten tired.

- Well, moi was willing

to have chocolate or vanilla ice cream.

How much more helpful can vous get?

- Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes,

but we weren't really sick.

Oh, we should've given him some help.

[all sigh]

- So how do we help him?

- Hey, I know!

Vitamin J.

Remember? The J stands for "jokes."

- Ooh, good idea, Kermie!

Dr. Fozzie did say laughter was the best medicine.

- Come on!

- [groans] - May I fluff your pillow,

Patient Fozzie? - Let's get those feet up.

- And here's your ice cream.

Chocolate and vanilla.

- Thanks, but what's going on?

- We're just making our patient extra comfy for...

the Funny, Funny Muppet Joke Show!

Take it away, Dr. Gonzo! Yay!

- Okay! What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

Cashew!

[laughter] - That's a good one.

- Why'd the cookie go to the doctor?

He was feeling really crumby!

[laughter]

- What do you get when an elephant sneezes?

[bellows] Out of the way! Wocka wocka!

[laughter]

That's two sneeze jokes-- two really good sneeze jokes.

Oh, this is the funniest funny joke show ever.

But how come you guys are doing this all for me?

- Because you tried to help us

even when we wouldn't help you.

- We're really sorry, Fozzie.

- Yeah, we're sorry. [indistinct murmuring]

- Aw, thanks, guys. I feel better already.

But I could still use some more of those funny, funny jokes!

[all cheer] - Let's do it!

What do you call a caboose with a cold?

An ah-choo-choo train! Wocka wocka!

[laughter] - Oh, look at that! Break time!

[upbeat music]

- [giggles]

- Wocka wocka!

- [clucks] - [chirps]

[car horn honks]

♪ ♪

- Yay!

♪ ♪

- Yay!

[grunts]

♪ ♪

- Ooh!

♪ ♪