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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,274 I mean, she's straight-up stalking me. 2 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,759 She lives in the bushes outside my apartment in Queens. 3 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,220 She's like horny Harriet the Spy. 4 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,222 And my mom lives there. She's freaking her out. 5 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:16,683 I mean, I get it. I'm hot. Yeah, you are. 6 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,911 I can barely keep my pants on. I wanna jump over this table, 7 00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:21,062 and ride you like a motherfuckin' Citi Bike. 8 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,732 And by that, I mean, after I come, 9 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,109 I wanna dump you on 14th street. I'm telling you, dude. 10 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,032 She will not stop calling me. Well, 11 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,571 maybe she wants her credit card back. 12 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,240 Boom! C Bradshaw with a slam! 13 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,617 Nah, she's not old enough to qualify for credit yet. 14 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,244 Trigger warning! 15 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,788 Talking about sex with a minor is never acceptable, 16 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,208 especially if the joke's as lame as that one! 17 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,753 Uh, Che, listen, I wanna, I wanna circle back to something you 18 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:48,173 - said earlier that I'm personally triggered by. Sure, what? 19 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,425 Citi Bike. Me too, Carrie. 20 00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,927 Oh, Miss Sis is on fire today. 21 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,803 I love it when you bring your pussy in, are you kidding? 22 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,430 Thank you so much! Soft pussy... 23 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:09,778 Hey, nice job today. Oh, thanks. Yeah. 24 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,404 I got a few zingers in. 25 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,947 Oof, if you weren't in mourning, 26 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,671 I'd do 20 minutes on you saying "zingers." 27 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,451 Oh, well, phew. 28 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:17,952 Thank god my husband died. 29 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,413 How're you holdin' up? 30 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,207 You know, it's been, uh, 31 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,625 it's been a rough few weeks. 32 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,919 Yeah... But just keep reminding myself 33 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:29,339 that at least we were happy... at the end. 34 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,174 Never been happier. 35 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,009 God, doesn't that make it sadder? 36 00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,804 Oddly, no. No, it, um... 37 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,139 it helps. 38 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,766 It's happy sad. 39 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,243 Wow, that's an amazing way of looking at it. 40 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,562 Anyway, that's what I'm clinging to, so... 41 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,358 I'll see you at your Netflix taping Friday. 42 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,944 Oh no, dude, you don't have to come to that. It's... 43 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:51,736 You came to my funeral, 44 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,447 I'm coming to your comedy show. 45 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:58,368 Besides, I could use a few zingers. 46 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,704 Oh! 47 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,332 I listened to the podcast yesterday. 48 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:07,168 Really? I'm shocked. I never said never. 49 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,462 Mm. It's a nice blend of polemics and farts. 50 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:13,925 Oh, thanks. Remind me to never ask you to blurb my books. 51 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,178 And Che is funny. 52 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,515 Oh, good. I'm glad you think so because you're coming 53 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:21,659 with me to their comedy concert Friday night. 54 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,726 I am?! Mm-hm. 55 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,019 Oh, great! 56 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,274 You seem a little better today. 57 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:32,694 Well, I feel like I'm in the, I'm in the home stretch. 58 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:36,197 The whole death trifecta. 59 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:40,910 What's that trifecta? Oh, uh, it's the awful night, 60 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,414 funeral, and now, the reading of the will. 61 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,558 And then, we get to have lunch. 62 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,209 I'm thinking I might even eat today. Good! 63 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,878 That's progress. 64 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,963 That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. 65 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,382 Estate Lawyer: He will continue his annual legacy gifts 66 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,175 to Memorial Sloan Kettering, 67 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,051 New York Public Theater, 68 00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:00,680 and Preservation Hall in New Orleans. 69 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:03,266 He loved his jazz. 70 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,143 Norman, it's your wife again. 71 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:08,021 I said hold all calls. Thank you. 72 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,707 Where were we? Not taking your wife's calls. 73 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,734 Sorry... we had a fight. 74 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:17,572 And now, she's on my Apple Watch. I better take this. 75 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,032 I'm in the maison du chien. 76 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:22,201 That's "dog house" in pompous ass. 77 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,161 Do you wanna keep talking or do you wanna hear my side of it? 78 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:26,497 God, Gloria... Yes, oh, I know, I know. 79 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,083 You've got a lunch, honey, I know. Okay, so... 80 00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:33,922 Oh, hello there! Stanford! Hi! 81 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,340 What are you doing here? 82 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:38,635 Oh, I came for lunch. 83 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:39,344 Carrie invited me. 84 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,263 Oh... Why? Is that a problem? 85 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,349 No, no, of course not. 86 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,935 It's just I reserved a table for three. 87 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,354 Oh, I don't think that'll be an issue. 88 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,356 Three-top is always a four-top. 89 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,483 Mm, no, no, it isn't. Trust me. 90 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,443 I know from when I used to work at Odeon. 91 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,195 A three-top is always a four-top. 92 00:03:57,278 --> 00:04:00,531 There is no way you ever waited tables. 93 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,661 Oh, I was a host back in the go-go cocaine '80s. 94 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,663 How else do you think I know Bret Easton Ellis? 95 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,957 Okay, whatever. 96 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,085 It's just it was very hard to find a place 97 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:16,255 that Carrie had not been to with either Big or Samantha, 98 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,539 so I don't wanna be difficult. 99 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,302 Hm... 100 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,030 Okay, well, this has been building for years, 101 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:26,474 so I'm just gonna say it... 102 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,977 You think I'm not part of the "inner circle." 103 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,603 That, that, that's right. 104 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,815 My therapist thinks it's because you're threatened 105 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,109 by my relationship with Carrie. 106 00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:39,654 You've been talking about me in therapy? 107 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,322 You've come up. Gimlet! 108 00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,660 Because all you have to do is walk... Yeah... 109 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,887 Jesus Christ. Okay, 110 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,371 we're up to the last gift. 111 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,500 "I hereby make a bequest in the amount 112 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:53,960 of one million dollars to..." 113 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,421 Uh, Miranda? 114 00:04:58,715 --> 00:04:59,755 Do you wanna help me here? 115 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:04,178 Why? What's the, uh... 116 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,702 Here it is. One million dollars to... 117 00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:12,645 What's all the drama? What's the charity? 118 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:26,367 Natasha? His ex-wife. 119 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,745 What is this? I knew nothing about it. 120 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,431 In my experience, when people have unfinished business, 121 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,474 they tend to throw money at it. Yes, I'm still here. 122 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:35,251 Norman, get off the damned phone. 123 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,715 I was doing well. 124 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:43,509 Wasn't I doing well before this? Yes, you were. 125 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,428 Remarkably well. I was very impressed. 126 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:48,056 I mean, I was doing the podcast, I was washing my hair... 127 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,891 I mean, yes, I wasn't eating or sleeping, 128 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,654 but at least I felt good about my marriage, 129 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,353 and now, I'm just one of the wives 130 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,397 he was taking care of. Ow! 131 00:05:56,481 --> 00:06:00,943 Worst four-top ever. I had a much better table. 132 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,797 Let it go, Charlotte. All right, you know what, here, I-I'll switch seats with you. 133 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,174 I'm used to getting slammed from behind. 134 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,158 No, nobody is switching seats. Hi! 135 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,481 Uh, could you be more careful? You keep hitting his seat. 136 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,080 And can I get another Cabernet? And what is she doing 137 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,123 in his will? That's the million dollar question. 138 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,794 Yeah, a million dollars. Hello? 139 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,421 Everyone, calm down. 140 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:24,258 After taxes, it's really only 450,000. 141 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,260 Which is a shit-ton of money! 142 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,489 On top of what I'm sure was a very generous divorce settlement, right? 143 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,032 All right, you know what, it's not even about the money. 144 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,724 It really isn't. I would be just as upset 145 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,727 if I, if I found out that he left her $10. But just... 146 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,271 Why is she in there at all? 147 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,189 Well, he did destroy her life. 148 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,775 He did not destroy her life. 149 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,569 I saw her at Bergdorf pre-pandemic. How did she look? 150 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,447 Like someone whose life was not destroyed. 151 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,951 Well, fuck her perfect, not-destroyed life, 152 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,702 and her pre-tax million dollars. 153 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,037 Okay, first of all, no. 154 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,015 We're not doing that. She didn't do anything wrong. 155 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,208 I'm the one who had the affair... 156 00:06:57,291 --> 00:07:00,628 with her husband. He was with you first, 157 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,797 so really, she cheated on you 158 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,006 before you cheated on her. 159 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,927 God, you're a good friend. Seriously, where is my wine? 160 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,113 And why did he keep it a secret? 161 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,515 He didn't even tell Gloria, and she knew his blood type. 162 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,659 Do not let this eat you up! 163 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:17,270 You and Big were the happiest couple I know. 164 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,438 Sorry, no offense. 165 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,565 None taken. It's okay. 166 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:21,649 Oh yeah, well, thanks. 167 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:22,835 I thought we were good, too, 168 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,169 but then, why was he still thinking 169 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,487 about her after all this time? 170 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,157 And what was their unfinished business? 171 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,784 I just can't believe it. 172 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,999 Big's gone and Natasha's back. 173 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,542 Did you even know they were in touch? 174 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,171 Who said they were in touch? Or not... 175 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:46,424 Ow! You deserved that one. 176 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,235 "Alexandra heaved a sigh of relief, 177 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,778 "pleased that things were going well 178 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:49,880 "with at least one of my parents. 179 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:53,908 "On the other hand, Mom wasn't as easy a sell. 180 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,576 "She fixed..." Ooh! 181 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,638 Could you just scooch over a little bit, baby girl? 182 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,872 I'm fallin' off the bed here. Mm. 183 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,461 I hate it when you call me that. 184 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,257 Well, you are my baby, 185 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,580 and you will always be my baby no matter how big you get. 186 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,472 I'm not talking about the baby part. 187 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,518 I'm talking about the girl part. 188 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:24,855 What do you mean? 189 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,528 I don't feel like a girl. 190 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,116 Oh... 191 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,659 Well... 192 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,164 Sometimes, I don't feel like a girl either. 193 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:47,461 Lily? Sometimes, you don't feel like a girl, right? 194 00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:52,300 Well, I never feel like a girl. 195 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,926 Ah! 196 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,594 I'm fine! 197 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,104 What's in this bowl here? Those are chia seeds. 198 00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:06,647 They're loaded with antioxidants. 199 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:10,526 Oh. cool. Mom, is this all the malt balls left? 200 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,486 Yes, use a scoop! 201 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,697 I don't know where those hands have been. 202 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:18,159 Is it a bad idea to let them have sex in the house? 203 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,827 Why? Do you have a time machine? 204 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,246 You know, whole milk is actually healthier than low-fat, 205 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,124 especially for aging bones. 206 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,961 Excuse me? No offense! 207 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,297 I mean, I'm aging, too. 208 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,301 Kinda the definition of being alive. 209 00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,846 Did we accidentally adopt her? 210 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,681 I don't know. 211 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,782 Oh! 212 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:28,414 Hello? 213 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,711 Go to sleep. 214 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,885 Ma'am, we delivered two baguettes 215 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,679 and one sourdough loaf. What's the problem? 216 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,563 What do you mean your delivery boy wasn't hot? 217 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,017 He was smokin' hot! 218 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,269 And no, hot is not subjective. 219 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,230 You're either hot or you're not. Thank you! 220 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,857 Jesus, this city! 221 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,026 This place is awesome, Uncle Anthony. 222 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,362 Well, don't get too attached. It's a rental. 223 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,113 We have to be outta here at 5 o'clock. 224 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,216 That's when the bitchy vegans take over. 225 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,533 Who would've thought 226 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:49,954 all of this came from one stinky 227 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,997 little sourdough starter in your kitchen? 228 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,184 Well, when they shut down all the gyms during the COVID, 229 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,877 I had to find a different kind of handjob to keep me busy. 230 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,213 What's a handjob? 231 00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:02,591 It's a job that you do with your hands, like you're doing now! 232 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,886 And speakin' of smelly, pee-ew. 233 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,555 And I say this with love, 234 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,723 less skateboard, more deodorant. 235 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,392 Yes, I'm lookin' at you, little girl! 236 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,143 Um, ahem, Anthony, 237 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,604 could you just come on out here, 238 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,457 and just talk to me about these different kitchens 239 00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:20,651 that are down the hall? 240 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,529 Oh, come on. She knows I love her, 241 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,197 and she needs to hear this stuff. 242 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,616 It's not about that. 243 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,202 Last night, Rose told me 244 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,706 that she does not wanna be called a girl anymore. 245 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:35,791 Doesn't feel like a girl. 246 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,627 Uh-huh. She's a kid. Ignore it. 247 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,421 I'm her mother, I can't ignore it. 248 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,715 Says who? Everyone. 249 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,133 Well, fuck everyone! 250 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,944 When she was six, she told you she was a dog. 251 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,553 Is she a dog now? No. 252 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,388 But I can't just ignore this. 253 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,433 And when she was six, I put down a bowl of water 254 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,101 on the floor for a week. 255 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,184 You're too indulgent. 256 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,271 So... 257 00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,274 you don't think that this is something? 258 00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,443 Well, who knows? 259 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,254 When I was little, I wanted to be Tinkerbell. 260 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,113 Did my mother cut holes in my school blazer 261 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,615 for my wings? No. 262 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,450 But maybe she should have. And what? 263 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,677 I would've grown up to be a fairy? 264 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,287 Don't answer that. It's too easy. 265 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:16,915 But I'm just confused about how to handle this, 266 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,018 and I wanna do the right thing. 267 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:22,379 And you will, when and if the time comes, 268 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,799 and I will be there with you and Rose every step of the way. 269 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,218 But right now, she's just a little sourdough starter. 270 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,179 Who knows what she's gonna grow into? 271 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,682 So relax... and get her some deodorant. 272 00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:38,896 Nope... Saw it... Crap... 273 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:41,649 Get outta here... 274 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,900 Okay! Huh? 275 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,234 Um, I'm almost ready. 276 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:47,863 Uh, do you want the frozen blueberries and the chia seeds, 277 00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,073 or are you off those now? 278 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:49,865 Chia seeds are bullshit. 279 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:52,826 I had one stuck in my teeth all day. 280 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,537 So, what are we watchin'? Um... 281 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,061 I was thinking maybe that Danish show 282 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,375 that everyone says is confusing but worth it. 283 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:07,174 Hi. Everything okay? 284 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:10,010 Did you know Big had a dog named Gogie? 285 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,512 I did not. Why? 286 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,514 It's the prelude to why I went crazy today. 287 00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,891 I'm gonna need some context. 288 00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:17,851 Well, I was going through his stuff, 289 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:21,897 and the single photo I found in his wallet 290 00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,775 is of a dog he never even mentioned. 291 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:27,695 Oh! And a Pinkberry punch card. 292 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:31,865 Not once in my life did I see that man 293 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:35,035 eat a Pinkberry, or use a punch card, 294 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,037 so what else don't I know? 295 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,331 You sound a little wired. Oh, I am. 296 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,543 I've been spiraling all day about him and Natasha, 297 00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,878 and I decided that the only way 298 00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,881 to rid myself of this feeling... What feeling? 299 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,925 That there was something that I didn't know. 300 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,844 So I decided... Mm-hm. 301 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:55,848 That the best way for me to just move past this 302 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,727 is to look Natasha in the eye, and just... 303 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,479 have a grown-up conversation. 304 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:06,525 So, I emailed her. Y... Wait, y-you, you did? 305 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,569 Yep, I sure did, and it wasn't easy. 306 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,404 The first email that I sent bounced back 307 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,573 because, apparently, she took some highfalutin job 308 00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,742 at Mina Minetti, which is, 309 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:18,287 if you can wrap your brain around this, 310 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,999 a higher-end Brunello Cucinelli. 311 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,500 These words mean nothing to me, 312 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,044 but now I want pasta. 313 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,297 It's a cashmere company. 314 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,258 The sixth stage of grief is stalking... 315 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,510 just, you know, in case you were curious. 316 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,680 That's good to know. So, I emailed her at, um... 317 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,807 I'll tell you exactly. 318 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,642 At approximately... 319 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:44,605 Yep. 1:40 today and nothing. 320 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,733 Nothing. Not a word. What kind of person 321 00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:49,693 doesn't respond to a grieving wife? 322 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,279 A busy one. It's only been a few hours. 323 00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:55,049 Carrie, did you get any sleep at all last night? No, of course not. 324 00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:56,992 He should've given her the apartment, too... 325 00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:01,455 'cause I can't sleep in here anymore. 326 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,707 It's haunted. 327 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,626 Him, her. 328 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,128 Gogie. Pinkberry. 329 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,633 Hello?! You comin'? I'm about to be asleep. 330 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,694 Oh, wait a minute. I just found her on Instagram. 331 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,845 Oh my god, okay, I'm gonna... 332 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,556 I'm gonna DM her in case she didn't get my email. 333 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,518 I say we give her another day. I think it's, it's fine that you 334 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,645 emailed her. I think... Too late, I just did it. 335 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,565 Oh shit... Now I'm scared. 336 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:32,861 Don't be scared. You, you just lost your husband. 337 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:36,156 She's a human being. She's gonna respond with compassion. 338 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,284 You're right. What am I afraid of? 339 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:43,372 Big's dead. The worst that can happen already happened. 340 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:50,462 Oh my god, she just blocked me on Instagram! 341 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,715 Okay, she's a fucking bitch. 342 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,316 Tried to do this the dignified way. 343 00:18:57,344 --> 00:19:01,682 Said the woman hiding in an SUV with tinted windows. 344 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:02,885 Well, she left me no choice. 345 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:06,019 She blocked me on Instagram, I can't reach her through email. 346 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,064 I need to somehow have this conversation... 347 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,318 so I can put an end to the spiraling. 348 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,445 I will put an end to the spiraling. 349 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:16,589 Big loved you. You were happy. 350 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:20,534 There is nothing you don't know. Oh really? 351 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,165 Who is that? Gogie. 352 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,129 Big's dog... Another bitch I knew nothin' about. 353 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:33,338 Carrie, you're acting crazy. I sure hope so! 354 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,299 I really, really hope 355 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,050 that when I am sitting across from her, 356 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,720 I feel insane for doing this. 357 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:42,890 Okay, let's say they were in touch. 358 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,057 What's your worst fear? 359 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,311 Oh my god, I don't know where to begin. 360 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:51,607 That he regretted choosing me over her? 361 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,066 He didn't. 362 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,067 That she had an affair with him 363 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,904 to get back at me for what I did. 364 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,798 She didn't! Charlotte, you can't tell me that. 365 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,866 Only one person can tell me that. 366 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,534 It's her! 367 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,418 She's wearing flats. 368 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:14,171 That is the most desperate put-down I've ever heard. 369 00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,142 You're gonna be just fine. 370 00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:28,244 We're gonna be at the Starbucks 371 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:30,437 on the corner waiting for you. Okay. 372 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,688 You look fantastic! 373 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,316 Oh, thanks. I've been dressed since 5:03. 374 00:20:45,535 --> 00:20:49,122 Hi. Hello. I'm here to see Natasha Mills. 375 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,291 Carrie Bradshaw. Preston. 376 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,460 She knows me. Okay. Um, I will try her. 377 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:57,631 You-you can just have a seat. 378 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:58,714 Okay, thank you. 379 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,789 I wonder what's keeping Carrie? 380 00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:33,333 I mean, how long could it take to drag a lifeless Natasha 381 00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:34,793 into a service elevator? 382 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:36,336 What? I'm sorry. 383 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,940 I'm watching too many streaming series. 384 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,508 You want a muffin? No, thanks. 385 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:42,509 Okay. My phone is about to die. 386 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:43,736 You don't have a charger on you, do you? 387 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,264 Oh yeah. 388 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,890 Somewhere in here. Okay. 389 00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:58,650 Hi. Can I get a blueberry muffin? 390 00:21:58,734 --> 00:21:59,734 Thank you. 391 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,989 Here you are. Thanks so much. 392 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,997 Thank you. 393 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,834 Okay... you're eating half of this. Okay. 394 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:19,796 So, lotta textbooks in there. 395 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,315 Is it stressful being a student again? 396 00:22:21,339 --> 00:22:25,844 Now that I know everyone's pronouns, no. 397 00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:28,889 You-you and Steve, h-h-how are things? 398 00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:30,140 The same. 399 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:32,285 You know, the other day at lunch, 400 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,436 when you said that Carrie and Big 401 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:36,396 were the happiest couple you know, 402 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,482 I thought, are Steve and I even a couple anymore? 403 00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:42,152 I mean, no sex... for years. 404 00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:45,614 Still, for years? Years! 405 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,991 And I don't think either one of us even thinks about it. 406 00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:51,703 The only thing that we're passionate about is our dessert ritual. 407 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:52,972 Are we a couple, or just roommates 408 00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:56,041 with ice cream and a kid? 409 00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:59,711 If we didn't have Brady, what would we talk about? Chia seeds? 410 00:23:02,005 --> 00:23:04,424 Ms. Bradshaw? 411 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:06,908 I'm Amber, Natasha's assistant. So sorry to keep you waiting. 412 00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:09,096 I was just informed you were out here. 413 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:11,556 Unfortunately, Natasha is unavailable today. 414 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,640 She's in Rome. 415 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:14,684 Have a nice day. 416 00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:37,207 Uh-oh. 417 00:23:42,045 --> 00:23:43,421 So how'd it go? What happened? 418 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,799 She's in "Rome." 419 00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:48,176 Rome? She's what? 420 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,138 How dare she? She's not in Rome! 421 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,807 She's in that building right there, three floors up. 422 00:23:53,890 --> 00:23:55,725 One, two, three... 423 00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,978 Oh my god. It's her, it's her. 424 00:23:58,061 --> 00:23:59,813 Oh my god! Ah! 425 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,657 Oh shit. 426 00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:12,635 Sorry, sorry. Ow! My knees! 427 00:24:12,659 --> 00:24:15,620 Oh, this is why I gave up running. 428 00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,330 I was pointing at her. 429 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:20,041 This is so bad, it's almost funny. 430 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,210 No, not funny. 431 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,921 I have never been so humiliated, 432 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:27,841 and I've been humiliated a lot in front of that woman. 433 00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:31,469 She is the one who should be humiliated, not you! 434 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:33,138 You caught her in a lie. 435 00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:35,504 And she caught me in the truth. 436 00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,352 Oh... Oh... 437 00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,855 Carrie... Aw! 438 00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:50,322 Hi. What're you doing up so early? 439 00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:52,657 Oh, I'm in Central Park, walking. 440 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,927 It's amazing what you learn about our city when you don't sleep. 441 00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:57,370 For instance, were you aware that thousands of people jog 442 00:24:57,454 --> 00:25:00,957 every morning at 6 AM, and everyone has a dog. 443 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:03,543 I did know that. 444 00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:06,796 So, you didn't sleep again? 445 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,548 That's hilarious, sleep. 446 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:13,511 Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Natasha up on her throne, 447 00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:14,095 looking down at me. 448 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:17,057 Harry! 449 00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:18,892 I'm on the phone here! 450 00:25:18,975 --> 00:25:21,269 This is the bathroom! I think I have the right of way. 451 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,953 No, no, I can let you go. I just wanted to tell you about tonight. 452 00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:25,815 Um, Miranda's gonna meet us at Che's taping, 453 00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:28,235 so I'll pick you up at 8, okay? Got it. 454 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,570 Where ya headed now? Oh, who knows? 455 00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:33,240 Think I'll follow this basset hound here... 456 00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:34,783 see where she takes me, hm! 457 00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,576 Okay, bye. I love you. 458 00:25:39,537 --> 00:25:42,249 Still? You're still peeing? 459 00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,060 A lotta men my age can't pull off a stream like this. 460 00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,378 Count your blessings. 461 00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:53,885 Oh! Here I am! Hey! 462 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,471 I see you. 463 00:25:56,554 --> 00:25:59,432 You're the only 55-year-old sitting on the university steps. 464 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:03,103 And now, there are two of us. 465 00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:05,647 You know, when I got your text on the subway, 466 00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:07,649 I thought your phone had been hacked. Hm. 467 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:10,735 You really walked all this way? In those shoes?! 468 00:26:11,611 --> 00:26:12,737 These are my sneakers. 469 00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:15,031 How much time do you have? 470 00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,635 Uh, for you, all the time in the world, 471 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,786 but I have class in 12 minutes, so start talking. 472 00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:22,706 Okay, well, I guess the headline is, "I can't stop walking." 473 00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:27,669 It's the only thing that helps, and it's not helping. 474 00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:30,064 I guess all that moving around is better than sitting still, 475 00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:34,050 and feeling... whatever it is you're not wanting to feel. 476 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:36,845 And what would that be? You tell me. 477 00:26:42,058 --> 00:26:44,185 I'm really mad at Big. 478 00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:49,149 I almost forgot how I used to feel all those years ago. 479 00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:51,526 You know, so nervous, and insecure, and desperate. 480 00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:57,407 You know, like what we had wasn't enough. 481 00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:59,075 Like I wasn't enough. 482 00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:04,331 And I just hate that after all the good years, 483 00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:05,957 this is what I'm left with. 484 00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:12,380 He ruined our happy sad ending. 485 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,679 Thank you. For what? 486 00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:23,391 For not arguing with me, trying to make me feel better. 487 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,393 Me? Argue? 488 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:28,438 I don't know what you're talkin' about. 489 00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:33,902 Go, go. Go. 490 00:27:33,985 --> 00:27:35,737 Go, go, go. Go. 491 00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:38,698 Hey! I just stopped by your place. Where are you? 492 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:42,535 Oh, still walking. I'm now in a very exotic place 493 00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:45,497 called the Upper West Side. 494 00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:48,375 82nd and Amsterdam, but unlike the other Amsterdam, 495 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:49,542 no tulips or wooden shoes. 496 00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:53,046 Still walking? I am worried about you. 497 00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:55,048 Well, you should be. I'm a mess. 498 00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:57,443 You're not a mess, Carrie. You're just... Charlotte, Charlotte. 499 00:27:57,467 --> 00:28:01,137 You have to let me say I'm a mess. 500 00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:04,224 Okay. I mean, I appreciate it, I do, 501 00:28:04,307 --> 00:28:05,725 but nobody can make me feel better. 502 00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,686 I have to get there myself, 503 00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:10,331 which is gonna take a hell of a lot more walking, 504 00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:12,607 but first, I have to pee. 505 00:28:12,690 --> 00:28:14,251 So, I'm gonna go in this little shop here, 506 00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:16,027 and I'm gonna buy a coffee, 507 00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:18,363 so I can use their bathroom, and not feel bad. 508 00:28:18,446 --> 00:28:20,281 Oh, and then, I'm gonna have to pee again 509 00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:22,534 in Chelsea. Got it. 510 00:28:22,617 --> 00:28:26,162 It's a vicious cycle. I understand. I love you. 511 00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:30,458 Mr. Burton, come! Come, come, come, come! 512 00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:36,881 Someone's in here! Oh my god! Sor... 513 00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:38,967 Ah! Oh my god! 514 00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:43,471 Ouch! 515 00:28:55,191 --> 00:28:57,777 At a coffee shop? At my job? 516 00:28:57,861 --> 00:28:59,737 Where are you gonna hunt me down next, Carrie? 517 00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:01,281 In the showers at Equinox? 518 00:29:01,364 --> 00:29:03,950 I swear, this was a total coincidence. 519 00:29:04,033 --> 00:29:07,203 I never imagined in a million years you'd be all the way up here. 520 00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:08,663 This isn't even your neighborhood. 521 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:13,460 Yes, I also know where you live. 522 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:15,462 What do you want from me? 523 00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:17,422 What the fuck do you want from me?! 524 00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:20,717 Um... 525 00:29:22,802 --> 00:29:23,922 I'm not really sure anymore. 526 00:29:26,055 --> 00:29:27,140 But since you're here, 527 00:29:27,223 --> 00:29:30,351 do you think maybe we could just talk, just for a minute? 528 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:31,311 I don't have a minute. 529 00:29:31,394 --> 00:29:33,813 No, I am not doing this. 530 00:29:33,897 --> 00:29:35,815 I cannot think about you anymore! 531 00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:37,775 I am done thinking about you! 532 00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,904 I've already given you more minutes of my life than you ever deserved! 533 00:29:42,071 --> 00:29:43,071 Yes, you have. I agree. 534 00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:52,582 That... 535 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,834 The burn looks bad. 536 00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:56,294 No, it's fine. 537 00:29:56,377 --> 00:29:58,838 It doesn't look fine. You should ice it. 538 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,256 I'm fine, I'm fine. 539 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,559 My son has... 540 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:14,062 low blood sugar, so I have to make sure I... 541 00:30:14,145 --> 00:30:16,189 carry something around with me at all times. 542 00:30:18,024 --> 00:30:19,609 You have a son? Mm. 543 00:30:20,276 --> 00:30:23,363 Two, actually. 544 00:30:23,446 --> 00:30:25,532 Just dropped them at Trinity, right up here. 545 00:30:27,033 --> 00:30:29,160 But you already know that, don't you? 546 00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:31,371 Actually, I didn't. 547 00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:37,794 Thank you. 548 00:30:45,134 --> 00:30:46,970 If this is about the will... 549 00:30:47,053 --> 00:30:50,265 I've already told my lawyers I will not accept it. 550 00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:51,348 Give it to charity. 551 00:30:52,725 --> 00:30:55,562 Why did he leave it to me anyway? 552 00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:57,605 I haven't spoken to him since the divorce. 553 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:00,984 So, neither of us knows? 554 00:31:02,151 --> 00:31:03,871 'Cause I just found out at the will reading. 555 00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:07,907 Oh... 556 00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:10,660 Well, that must've been... hard. 557 00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:17,625 Classic John. Just always a puzzle. 558 00:31:18,209 --> 00:31:19,419 At least with me. 559 00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:23,464 I'll never understand why he ever married me 560 00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,425 when he was always in love with you. 561 00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:31,389 How's the burn? 562 00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:34,225 It's... It's better. 563 00:31:34,309 --> 00:31:36,811 Well, I am late, so I should go. 564 00:31:43,359 --> 00:31:45,486 I really am sorry for your loss. 565 00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,154 Thank you for that... 566 00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:49,490 and for the ice. 567 00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:53,369 And for whatever it's worth, 568 00:31:54,787 --> 00:31:56,456 I think the money was his way 569 00:31:56,539 --> 00:32:00,043 of saying that he was sorry. 570 00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:03,713 You know, he was a finance guy. 571 00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:05,423 He's not... 572 00:32:06,049 --> 00:32:08,301 Wasn't great with words. 573 00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:11,053 Agreed. 574 00:32:13,931 --> 00:32:15,683 And I'm sorry as well. 575 00:32:18,394 --> 00:32:21,022 Oh god, for everything. 576 00:32:25,276 --> 00:32:26,527 I appreciate that... 577 00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:31,741 but we're okay. It's all in the past. 578 00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:36,287 But, maybe, we shouldn't 579 00:32:36,371 --> 00:32:38,122 follow each other on Instagram. 580 00:32:38,998 --> 00:32:41,501 100%. Totally agree. 581 00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:16,994 Ohh, yeah, so... 582 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:18,830 I've dated a lot in my life. 583 00:33:18,913 --> 00:33:21,541 I've dated men... 584 00:33:21,624 --> 00:33:26,170 I've dated women... 585 00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:27,171 I've dated... 586 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:29,173 men who actually know how to please a woman. 587 00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:30,466 He was nice. Woo! 588 00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:33,720 Umm, I've dated... 589 00:33:33,803 --> 00:33:36,222 pretty much everyone in here. Cheer if I fucked you. 590 00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:41,853 Cheer if you fucked me. 591 00:33:41,936 --> 00:33:44,981 Oh... cheer if you want me to fuck you. 592 00:33:48,317 --> 00:33:49,110 When you said VIP seats, 593 00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:52,530 I assumed there'd actually be seats. 594 00:33:52,613 --> 00:33:54,782 You know, a lot of people have no idea how to process 595 00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,618 gender individuality, and that is because 596 00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:00,329 every time we are represented in mainstream media, 597 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:03,624 we have to be from some other galaxy... right? 598 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:05,752 Or like some super skinny model. 599 00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:06,979 Or like, uh, an ethereal magical elf 600 00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:10,298 with an ethereal magical elf septum nose ring. 601 00:34:11,674 --> 00:34:13,050 Oh, and check it out! 602 00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:14,802 When we are earthbound, 603 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:17,430 we are always at a murder scene... 604 00:34:17,513 --> 00:34:18,806 never at a birthday party. 605 00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:21,267 Oh, and... 606 00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:23,394 there's always only one of us. 607 00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:25,271 Never with a friend. 608 00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:27,690 Just one sad nonbinary character, 609 00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:29,650 or just one sad... 610 00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:32,069 trans character just wandering. 611 00:34:32,153 --> 00:34:34,614 "I'm so sad and alone." 612 00:34:34,697 --> 00:34:36,491 "I'm so sad..." Look... 613 00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:38,409 It's okay to be sad and alone, all right? 614 00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:39,786 There's plenty to be sad about, 615 00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:41,913 but I have got news for those motherfuckers, 616 00:34:41,996 --> 00:34:42,996 I'm not always sad! 617 00:34:45,374 --> 00:34:47,376 I laugh. I laugh all the fuckin' time. 618 00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:53,007 And I'm not always alone. 619 00:34:53,090 --> 00:34:54,675 I have community, I have allies, 620 00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:58,763 I have friends... 621 00:34:58,846 --> 00:35:03,184 Listen, put our real asses on TV, okay? All right? 622 00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:05,027 We are gonna smell like pot when we get home. 623 00:35:05,061 --> 00:35:07,814 How am I gonna explain this to my kids? 624 00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:09,732 How am I gonna explain this to my doorman? 625 00:35:09,816 --> 00:35:12,193 You're missing it! I think the world can handle it. 626 00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:14,278 And I know this because my own family handled it. 627 00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:17,240 Half-Mexican, half-Irish, all Catholic. 628 00:35:17,323 --> 00:35:19,992 That is... That is a lotta rice and beads. 629 00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:26,582 The Thanksgiving I came out to my family, 630 00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:28,584 I stood up in the living room, and I was like... 631 00:35:30,419 --> 00:35:31,462 "Family..." 632 00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,464 "I love you!" 633 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:37,885 "And I just want you to know..." 634 00:35:40,137 --> 00:35:41,430 "that I am queer... 635 00:35:42,014 --> 00:35:43,516 "and nonbinary... 636 00:35:44,892 --> 00:35:45,935 and bisexual." 637 00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:52,918 And they were like, "That's nice. Can you move? You're blocking the game." 638 00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:57,196 Yay! Move. 639 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:58,573 And I was like, "Oh shit!" 640 00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:01,033 "Oh shit! That's it?! 641 00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:03,536 I set aside four hours for this, but okay." 642 00:36:03,619 --> 00:36:04,619 "Alright." 643 00:36:08,165 --> 00:36:11,085 Seriously, I fuckin' lucked out with my family, dudes. 644 00:36:11,168 --> 00:36:12,795 My family fuckin' loves me! 645 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:16,257 Loves me! 646 00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:17,901 My family is all love and all acceptance, 647 00:36:17,925 --> 00:36:19,427 just don't block the fucking game. 648 00:36:22,763 --> 00:36:25,182 And just because my family loves me... 649 00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,394 does not mean that they're not confused, okay? 650 00:36:28,477 --> 00:36:30,605 I am like an episode of "Unsolved Mysteries." 651 00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,940 They're so confused. 652 00:36:33,649 --> 00:36:36,277 Okay? Yeah. 653 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,821 I don't know, I think we all are these days. 654 00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:41,240 You know? It's like, "Oh, he, she, they, them. 655 00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:42,241 Ooh, please tell me which box to check!" 656 00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:46,245 But you know what I say? 657 00:36:46,329 --> 00:36:50,750 I say better to be confused than to be sure. 658 00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:52,877 Because... Right? 659 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,253 Right? 660 00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:57,548 Because when you're sure, then nothin' can change. 661 00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:58,901 And we all have somethin' we need to change. 662 00:36:58,925 --> 00:37:01,552 I mean, some of us have something we really need to change, 663 00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,095 and so, change! Do it! 664 00:37:03,179 --> 00:37:04,597 Change it! 665 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:05,973 Change that shit up! 666 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,142 You're not happy with who you are? 667 00:37:08,225 --> 00:37:10,102 Step outta that box and change it! 668 00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:11,604 Change! 669 00:37:11,687 --> 00:37:12,873 Change your address, change your job, 670 00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:15,399 change your, change your mind. 671 00:37:15,483 --> 00:37:17,026 Change your gender. 672 00:37:17,109 --> 00:37:18,486 Change your shirt. 673 00:37:19,862 --> 00:37:20,696 No, really, man. Change your shirt. 674 00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:23,074 Banana Republic hasn't sold that shirt 675 00:37:23,157 --> 00:37:24,742 in like five years. 676 00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:28,162 So, I just wanna say 677 00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:32,166 to all those people out there who are so fuckin' sure, 678 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,709 all those people who make TV, 679 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,586 and who write for newspapers and magazines, 680 00:37:35,670 --> 00:37:41,300 and who run news shows, and everyone who wants us to be alone and sad? 681 00:37:42,426 --> 00:37:43,803 I just wanna say, suck my dick. 682 00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:52,704 Actually, I don't have a dick. If I did, I would've had this special five years ago. 683 00:37:52,728 --> 00:37:54,271 Good night, America! 684 00:37:57,733 --> 00:38:00,152 ♪ Baby, I am America ♪ 685 00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:03,781 ♪ I'm a stranger just like you ♪ 686 00:38:03,864 --> 00:38:05,199 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 687 00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:07,994 ♪ Baby, I am America ♪ 688 00:38:08,077 --> 00:38:11,163 ♪ You been beggin' for the truth ♪ 689 00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:14,834 Wow... Wow! 690 00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:16,335 It's good, right? Ah! 691 00:38:16,419 --> 00:38:17,211 I just, uh, I have to go backstage, 692 00:38:17,294 --> 00:38:19,839 say a quick hi, and then we can go. 693 00:38:19,922 --> 00:38:21,674 But we... Wh-wh-what about the after party? 694 00:38:21,757 --> 00:38:22,591 We have the VIP bracelets. 695 00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:24,677 Yeah, no. 696 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,096 ♪ Crystal clear ♪ 697 00:38:28,889 --> 00:38:30,850 It says Hector is approaching. 698 00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:32,268 Hi, Rose, honey. 699 00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:36,313 I just wanted to hear your voice... 700 00:38:36,397 --> 00:38:39,233 and make sure that you know how much I love you. 701 00:38:40,776 --> 00:38:43,154 No, that's it. 702 00:38:43,237 --> 00:38:45,614 Yes, you can go back to your Mario Kart. 703 00:38:45,698 --> 00:38:47,742 Yep, this is us, Charlotte. Okay. Bye, sweetie. 704 00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:50,369 Hi! Yep. You sure? You're okay? 705 00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,680 You don't want us to wait with you? Totally! 706 00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:53,497 My car is gonna be here in two minutes. 707 00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,374 Okay. Get home safe. 708 00:38:56,333 --> 00:38:58,085 Thanks again. So much fun. 709 00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,045 Woo! Love you. 710 00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:00,313 Thank you for coming. I love it. 711 00:39:00,337 --> 00:39:01,337 Love you, too. Hello! 712 00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:02,840 Hector, you really brought it. 713 00:39:02,923 --> 00:39:04,842 I did not order this big car. 714 00:39:17,813 --> 00:39:19,732 Whoo! I love my life! 715 00:39:19,815 --> 00:39:22,610 Come on, you guys! 716 00:39:24,653 --> 00:39:31,535 ♪ Yeah, you got to hold on ♪ 717 00:39:35,247 --> 00:39:37,333 ♪ Yeah, you got to wait ♪ 718 00:39:40,586 --> 00:39:42,755 ♪ Yeah, you got to wait ♪ 719 00:39:46,509 --> 00:39:48,427 Rambo! 720 00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:49,863 Carrie said that you were all heading home. 721 00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:50,763 Well, I was, 722 00:39:50,846 --> 00:39:52,973 but I kept hearing your voice in my head 723 00:39:53,057 --> 00:39:54,433 saying, "Change." 724 00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,936 I am just like this little robot 725 00:39:57,019 --> 00:39:59,063 going to my house every night. 726 00:39:59,146 --> 00:40:02,066 Eh, would it kill me to mix things up a little bit? 727 00:40:02,983 --> 00:40:05,194 What you said is so true, though. 728 00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:06,112 Change is hard. 729 00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:08,697 Bodies at rest remain at rest. 730 00:40:08,781 --> 00:40:10,241 Bodies in motion remain in motion. 731 00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:11,826 You're totally right! 732 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,828 Yeah, I definitely didn't say that last part. 733 00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:17,123 No, no! That's, uh, um, Sir Isaac Newton. 734 00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:18,958 It's on the side of one of my water bottles. 735 00:40:19,041 --> 00:40:21,836 You were so amazing up there. 736 00:40:21,919 --> 00:40:23,879 Amazing! You are like a comedy prophet. 737 00:40:23,963 --> 00:40:26,340 Oh shit. 738 00:40:26,423 --> 00:40:27,423 Okay, do me a favor. 739 00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:28,843 Stop talking... 740 00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:30,511 and just breathe. 741 00:40:32,304 --> 00:40:33,305 Okay. 742 00:40:33,389 --> 00:40:35,349 But could I just say one more thing? 743 00:40:35,432 --> 00:40:36,809 I think you could use some weed. 744 00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:39,770 Oh, wow, no. I don't, I don't think so. 745 00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:41,313 I w... I was never good at that. 746 00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:42,833 And things that I'm not good at, I, I tend to abandon. 747 00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,359 Mm... 748 00:40:45,442 --> 00:40:47,111 Do you mind if I shotgun you? 749 00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:50,739 Is that where you blow the... 750 00:40:52,992 --> 00:40:54,034 Okay. 751 00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:04,962 ♪ You got to hold on ♪ 752 00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:09,466 ♪ You got to hold on ♪ 753 00:41:11,844 --> 00:41:15,472 ♪ You got to hold on ♪ 754 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:24,023 ♪ You got to hold on ♪ 755 00:41:24,106 --> 00:41:26,734 How was that for you? Perfect. 756 00:41:26,817 --> 00:41:29,612 Loud. Giant pause button on current events. 757 00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:31,738 I'm glad. 758 00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:37,536 Could I talk to you about something that's been on my mind? 759 00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:39,371 Um, yes, I think so. 760 00:41:41,081 --> 00:41:43,667 It's about Miranda and her drinking. 761 00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,378 I'm... I know she has a lot going on, 762 00:41:46,462 --> 00:41:49,048 but... I think she has a problem. 763 00:41:49,131 --> 00:41:50,341 God, really? 764 00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:52,384 I mean, aren't we all just drinking too much 765 00:41:52,468 --> 00:41:55,137 'cause there's a lot to drink about lately. 766 00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:58,140 In fact, if we're gonna have this conversation, I'm gonna need a drink. 767 00:41:58,224 --> 00:42:00,267 This is different. 768 00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:06,232 Yesterday, I found three tiny Tito's bottles in her backpack, empty. 769 00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:09,318 Three tiny Tito's bottles. That is weird. 770 00:42:09,401 --> 00:42:11,296 Well, maybe, she was having a tiny party in her backpack. 771 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,322 And, tonight, before the show 772 00:42:13,405 --> 00:42:16,200 I noticed she had two glasses of wine. 773 00:42:16,283 --> 00:42:19,203 Okay, could you stop noticing things. 774 00:42:26,001 --> 00:42:27,127 This is good. 775 00:42:28,963 --> 00:42:30,005 Thank you. 776 00:42:45,771 --> 00:42:48,524 Mrs. Preston... Are you coming in? 777 00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:54,613 Actually, Joe, I think I'm gonna take a little walk. 778 00:42:54,697 --> 00:42:55,697 Very good, ma'am. 779 00:43:20,556 --> 00:43:23,142 And just like that... 780 00:43:23,225 --> 00:43:25,519 I walked myself home. 781 00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:34,528 ♪ I can see the change ♪ 782 00:43:34,611 --> 00:43:38,240 ♪ Come what may, I won't regret today ♪ 783 00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:44,913 ♪ No, it's not for me anymore ♪ 784 00:43:44,997 --> 00:43:48,208 ♪ No, it's not for me ♪ 785 00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:54,214 ♪ Anymore, anymore ♪ 786 00:43:57,468 --> 00:44:01,513 ♪ I can see the change ♪ 787 00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:04,933 ♪ Better than I ever could before ♪ 788 00:44:06,268 --> 00:44:10,522 ♪ I am what remains ♪ 789 00:44:10,606 --> 00:44:14,777 ♪ Different in the same frame that I was ♪ 790 00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:19,990 ♪ No, it's not for me anymore ♪ 791 00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:24,745 ♪ No, it's not for me anymore ♪ 792 00:44:24,828 --> 00:44:27,206 ♪ No, it's not for me ♪ 793 00:44:27,289 --> 00:44:32,711 ♪ Anymore, anymore ♪ 58124

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