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1
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,594
- Jeremy, party of five!
- That's us!
2
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:15,473
Ooh, oh. Ah!
Excuse me.
3
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,393
Whew.
4
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,853
Remember when we had to legally
5
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,771
stand six feet apart
from one another?
6
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,356
Yeah, I miss it.
7
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,816
- Excuse us.
- Oh, excuse us.
8
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,651
Sorry.
9
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:27,569
Carrie?
10
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,696
Is that Bitsy von Muffling?
11
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:32,407
- Carrie. Excuse me.
- Yep, that's Bitsy.
12
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,659
I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
13
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,120
Oh, it's been forever.
14
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,997
Do we hug or bump elbows?
15
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,915
Sign language, smoke signals.
16
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:41,750
Where are we these days?
17
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:45,253
And, and where's
the fourth musketeer?
18
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,504
Where's Samantha?
19
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:49,340
Oh, um, she's no longer with us.
20
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:51,384
No, no, no, no. She didn't die.
21
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,262
Oh no! No, no.
I'm so sorry, no.
22
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:55,847
I just meant she's not with us.
23
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:59,768
- She's in London.
- Oh, thank god.
24
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,770
After the horror show
we've been through,
25
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,438
I just assume
anyone I haven't seen
26
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:04,272
in a while has passed on,
27
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,107
or... gave up
and moved to Palm Beach.
28
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:10,320
- No, she moved to the U.K. for work.
- Smart.
29
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:14,115
Sexy sirens in their 60s
are still viable over there.
30
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,869
- Well, enjoy.
- Friend: Bitsy, are you coming?
31
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,581
Bye!
32
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:24,292
Remember when we couldn't
air kiss hello or goodbye?
33
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:26,002
Yes, I miss it.
34
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,003
Carrie, party of three!
35
00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:30,882
- Yay! Yes, that's us. Yay.
- Nice! Here we go.
36
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:40,683
I stepped on a used condom
in Brady's room this morning.
37
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,185
- Eww...
- Wait!
38
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,145
I was barefoot at the time.
Okay now.
39
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:48,274
- Eww.
- Ooh, does anyone wanna split the croque madame?
40
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,610
I will. Did you
hear what I said?
41
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,821
Mm-hm. Are we getting
fries with that?
42
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,240
I stepped on my son's
semen before coffee.
43
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:56,115
We are definitely
getting fries with that.
44
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,786
- Hmm.
- This is totally on Steve and me.
45
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:02,223
We started letting Luisa spend
the night because we like her,
46
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,041
and now Brady's bedroom
floor is a minefield.
47
00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:07,252
Well, it's good
he's using protection.
48
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,838
Now that is seeing
the condom as half full.
49
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:10,922
When do you start school?
50
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,926
What? I changed the subject.
Life's too short.
51
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,929
I'm starting with
spring semester next week.
52
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,849
- Wow.
- Oh, really? Next week?
53
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,268
Are you gonna, you know...
54
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:26,104
Go crazy?
Too late, already happened.
55
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,272
No, color your hair.
56
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:32,026
Now where is that darn
waitperson with the check?
57
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,046
- We haven't even ordered yet.
- Oh, I know, but I want out now.
58
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,905
I just think the gray ages you.
59
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,700
No, you think the gray ages you
60
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,261
because if we're friends,
and I am this age,
61
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,037
you can't be whatever age
you're pretending to be.
62
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,206
I am not pretending
to be any age.
63
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,458
- I am 55.
- What? You want a medal?
64
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,044
Yes. Yes, I do.
Can I get a medal?
65
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:53,339
Yes, you can, and when
I turn 55 in 10 years,
66
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,258
I would like a medal as well.
67
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:59,304
- Thank you.
- And... why are you just going after me?
68
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:00,805
Carrie dyes her hair, too.
69
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,224
Yeah, but hers is obvious.
You're trying to pass.
70
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,018
Yeah, but obvious
in a good way, right?
71
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,079
'Cause this kind of "obvious,"
it don't come cheap.
72
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,063
You look great gray,
but I miss the red.
73
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:12,233
And I just thought
it might be fun,
74
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,693
you know, for
the start of school.
75
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,862
Yeah, for all your
playdates and things.
76
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,781
Charlotte, I'm getting
a Master's in Human Rights
77
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,700
to pair with my law degree,
78
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:24,412
so, hopefully, I can become an
advocate for women who need one.
79
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:28,374
I don't have to be
a spicy redhead to do that.
80
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,377
I mean, we can't
just stay who we were.
81
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,128
- Right?
- Absolutely.
82
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:34,464
And there are more
important issues
83
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,299
in the world than
trying to look young.
84
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,679
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
dyed her hair.
85
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:42,931
Mic drop.
86
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,227
Wow, I've gotta get him.
87
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,314
Do you see his hat?
Looks like a light fixture.
88
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,443
For my Instagram.
89
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:56,402
How's all that goin'?
90
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,655
Uh, you know, when I
first started doing it,
91
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,865
it was really just for me,
you know, just for fun,
92
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,785
posting strangers who
have interesting style,
93
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:06,537
but now... that
I'm on that podcast,
94
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,956
it's kind of
growing into a thing.
95
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,123
Wow. Instagram, podcast.
96
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,793
I guess you're passing
as younger, too.
97
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,795
Still haven't listened
to it, have you?
98
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:16,297
Carrie, I love you to death,
99
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,966
but I draw the line at podcasts.
100
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:22,595
I just ran into LTW
in the ladies' room.
101
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,764
Great! I don't know
what that means.
102
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,849
Lisa Todd Wexley.
103
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,977
Everyone at school
calls her LTW.
104
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:32,188
Now, is LTW a person,
105
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:34,816
- or a sorority you hope to pledge.
- I know, I know.
106
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,777
I sound so silly,
but she's just so cool.
107
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:41,447
She is a documentarian,
and a humanitarian.
108
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:45,284
And her husband, Herbert, is an
investment banker who might run for mayor.
109
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,663
And she's on the International
"Vogue" Best-Dressed List.
110
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:50,373
Wow, I think I need a nap.
111
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,642
We are on the parent
school board together,
112
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,669
so, this year, we've been
getting to know each other better
113
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,546
'cause she signed
her son, Henry, up
114
00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:00,383
to study with the same piano
teacher that Lily studies with.
115
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,010
- Oh, which reminds me...
- To breathe?
116
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,929
You haven't RSVP'd yet
for Lily's piano recital.
117
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,016
Oh, I know. I'm sorry, sweetie.
I can't go.
118
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:08,933
Big and I are driving
out east on Wednesday.
119
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,060
Can't you drive out Friday?
120
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,854
'Cause Lily has been practicing
121
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,522
for this night
every day for a year.
122
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,817
Sweetie, I know, but Big
already took time off.
123
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,403
But you could go to the
Hamptons with Big any time.
124
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,948
And this concert is at the
Manhattan School of Music.
125
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,659
It's a very big deal.
126
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,970
The Manhattan School
of Music, Carrie.
127
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:31,289
The Manhattan School of Music.
128
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,852
I'm sorry, where is
the concert again?
129
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,502
All right, I'll talk
to him. I will.
130
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,421
- Oh, hi!
- I don't wanna interrupt.
131
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,173
- Oh, you're not interrupting!
- Hi.
132
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,967
These are my very best
friends, Miranda and Carrie.
133
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,218
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Lisa.
134
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,446
Charlotte has told me
so much about you both.
135
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,347
Well, we just got the
crash course on you, too.
136
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,474
Oh no.
137
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:53,061
- That's a great bracelet.
- It's interesting, right?
138
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,122
It's this 20-year-old out of Jackson,
Mississippi, I came across online.
139
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,373
- She's amazing.
- Oh, that's great.
140
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,067
Oh my god. Who ordered
the French fries?
141
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,236
I'd have to know you a lot
longer before I confessed that.
142
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,630
- Can I have one?
- Sure, they're cold.
143
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,407
- But they're still
greasy, right?
144
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,052
- So bad, they're good.
- Ooh, yikes, I'm gonna be late.
145
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,787
I have to go do a podcast.
146
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:14,207
- They're like jury duty now.
- Yeah, I should go, too.
147
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,958
Um, it was really,
really nice to meet you.
148
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,254
- Any friend of French fries is a friend of mine.
- Hope to see you again.
149
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,298
Yeah, same here.
150
00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:24,550
- Sit!
- What did you get at Oscar?
151
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,636
- Show me.
- Oh, it's for the girls.
152
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,389
- Ta-da!
- It's gorg.
153
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,076
I just wanted them to have
something so special
154
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,477
for Lily's big night.
155
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,311
Henry is gonna
bomb this recital.
156
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,794
- Oh, no, he won't.
- It's my fault.
157
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,773
I started him too late.
158
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:39,607
I have to force him to practice.
159
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,734
I literally have
to pry his fingers
160
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,278
off the PlayStation,
and put them on the keyboard.
161
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,155
Well, you know what?
He's a beginner.
162
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,117
- People will understand.
- People might, but my mother-in-law won't.
163
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,119
She's a world-renowned
concert pianist,
164
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,955
and an even more
accomplished pain in my ass.
165
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:56,165
Oh, my friends are waiting.
I'll call you later.
166
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,792
- Bye.
- Bye! I'll talk to you soon.
167
00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,460
Yes! Bye.
168
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,188
Don't stress if
you can't make the recital.
169
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,799
Her piano teacher
rents that venue.
170
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,634
It's the Park Avenue
equivalent of
171
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:07,717
"every kid gets a trophy."
172
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,347
Still, I should go.
173
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,725
Charlotte's an amazingly
supportive friend.
174
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,603
She listens to the podcast.
175
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,025
You know, it is kinda
like she's dead...
176
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,110
Samantha.
177
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,736
We never even talk about her.
178
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:28,904
Well, what is there to say?
179
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,827
I told her that
because of, you know,
180
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:33,661
what the book business is now,
181
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,539
it just didn't make
sense for me to...
182
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,541
keep her on as a publicist.
She said, "Fine,"
183
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:41,919
- and then fired me as a friend.
- She didn't fire you.
184
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,796
Okay, she stopped
returning my calls.
185
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,506
You know Samantha.
186
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,592
- Her pride got damaged.
- Which was why I kept
187
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:51,179
leaving her voicemails, asking
her to please call me back,
188
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,782
so we could talk
about this and fix it.
189
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,768
Look, I understand
that she was upset,
190
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,896
but I thought I was
more to her than an ATM.
191
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,231
You are.
192
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:06,569
- She was embarrassed.
- So embarrassed she took a job and moved to London?
193
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,029
Wait, have you spoken to her?
194
00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:11,908
No, neither has Charlotte.
195
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,619
I mean, we texted and called,
but we never heard back.
196
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:20,208
- Do you think, maybe, if you...
- I did. Multiple texts.
197
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,376
- And nothing.
- Okay.
198
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:25,963
Well, then I guess that's
all we can, you know, do.
199
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,382
- So weird.
- I know.
200
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,167
I always thought the four of
us would be friends forever.
201
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,849
- Anyway, up I go.
- Okay.
202
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,601
- Okay, thanks for walking me.
- Sure.
203
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:43,731
Hey, Carrie... My hair?
204
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,233
Fabulous.
205
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,829
Hi, everyone.
206
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,793
That's it? That's all the greeting
I get after I rescued you?
207
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,797
Are you talking to me or Burton?
'Cause you rescued me, too.
208
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,258
Lily, that is
a terrible thing to say.
209
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:13,094
I know. That's why I said it.
210
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,929
Well, never say it again,
211
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:17,431
and, for the record,
you rescued me.
212
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,475
Mwah!
213
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:21,477
- Please love me.
- Mom, don't be so needy.
214
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:26,023
I am not being needy.
He's withholding.
215
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,650
- Do you wanna see your dress?
- Mm-hm.
216
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,736
Do you wanna see
the dress, Richard Burton?
217
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,020
Do you wanna see the dress, hm?
218
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,701
Da-da-da-da!
219
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,619
- So pretty!
- I love it.
220
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,579
And what's in the other bag?
221
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,248
A dress for Rose, of course.
222
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,088
- We are here!
- Hit it, kiddo. Hit it hard.
223
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,717
Ooh, nicely done.
224
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:57,138
Okay, go for it, Dad.
225
00:09:57,221 --> 00:10:00,683
Harry, you better not have your
hands on those walls again!
226
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,766
I don't!
227
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,770
Much...
228
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,147
Just once or twice.
229
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,150
- I'm gettin' really good, babe.
- You are ridiculous.
230
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:12,028
- But it keeps you guessin'.
- Yes.
231
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,114
Rose, honey, let me show you the
dress I got you for Lily's concert.
232
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,032
I am gettin' there.
233
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,285
Uh-huh, yeah, yeah.
234
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,037
- Isn't it pretty?
- Ooh.
235
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,705
Okay... define pretty.
236
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,047
- Uh, Dad?
- Harry: What?
237
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,883
Bike helmet not a good
look on a 58-year-old Jew?
238
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,437
- Oh, honey, I'm home!
- Hey, kid.
239
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,229
Let the wine begin.
240
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,488
Mmm.
241
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,094
Is that supposed to make me forget
that you're a half-hour late?
242
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,411
- Did it?
- Oh yeah.
243
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,373
Then my work here is done.
244
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:09,460
How was your day?
245
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:13,506
Perfect.
The Dow and the Mets both up.
246
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,424
Very nice.
247
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,719
Hey... that shady fish guy
248
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,523
tried to slip me some
low-rent salmon again.
249
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,140
I said, "At these prices?"
Oh, no, sir.
250
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,518
No, no, no, no, no.
251
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,978
That is not the Copper
River sockeye salmon.
252
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:34,568
- What?
- I'm just wondering who this person is I'm looking at
253
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,570
because I remember when you kept
254
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:37,405
your sweaters in the stove.
255
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,241
I remember when
your hair was black.
256
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:41,659
Oh, that's really uncalled for.
257
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:45,788
- Totally uncalled for.
- You wanna go there, huh?
258
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,457
'Cause I can go there.
259
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,584
Well why don't you
stop going there,
260
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,254
and go there, and put on
the album du jour.
261
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,130
Okay, Mr. Big.
262
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,715
What letter we up to?
263
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,592
"R," last night was Ronstadt.
264
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:02,430
That's right. Yep, Ronstadt.
Here we are.
265
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,433
So, tonight is Todd Rundgren.
266
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,519
- Oh, that's my favorite fucking album.
- Fucking album.
267
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,146
You know, you've said that about
268
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,064
pretty much every
album since we started
269
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,500
this little dinner
ritual waaay back
270
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:16,068
on day three of the lockdown.
271
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:19,155
- What's your point?
- My point is...
272
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,199
- You got a lot of favorites.
- John: Yes, I do.
273
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,413
But this guy...
274
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:34,587
This guy and this song...
this song.
275
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,839
♪ Hello it's me ♪
276
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:45,264
♪ I've thought about us
for a long, long time ♪
277
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,642
♪ Maybe I think too much
but something's wrong ♪
278
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:56,025
♪ There's something here
doesn't last too long ♪
279
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,487
♪ Maybe I shouldn't
think of you as mine ♪
280
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:03,073
Oh, I'm yours, and I'm hungry.
281
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,283
Okay, what do I do to help?
282
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,536
- Salt the fish, please.
- 'Kay.
283
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,330
♪ Seeing you ♪
284
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:10,915
Hey, can we wait to drive out
285
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,876
- to the Hamptons 'til Friday?
- ♪ Or seeing anything ♪
286
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,128
Charlotte really
wants me to go to
287
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,964
Lily's recital on Thursday.
288
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:22,510
Thank you. Do you
wanna come with me?
289
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,514
Didn't think so.
290
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,182
Well, what are you
gonna do that night?
291
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,267
Oh, don't worry about me.
292
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:34,355
I'll be spending the night
at home... with Allegra.
293
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,649
Oh, her again?
294
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,985
Yes, jealous?
295
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:40,486
That's enough salt.
296
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,364
Yeah, I'm jealous.
297
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,242
I'm jealous of your
Peloton instructor.
298
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,160
Well, you should be.
299
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,204
You know she's from Barcelona?
300
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,289
She motivates me.
301
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,833
And she's giving me
a special shout-out
302
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,168
on my thousandth ride.
303
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,171
Aw, you love shout-outs.
304
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,383
♪ Think of me ♪
305
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:09,890
♪ You know that I'd be
with you if I could ♪
306
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,851
- ♪ I'll come around ♪ -♪ 'Round
to see you once in a while ♪
307
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:20,734
♪ Or if you ever need
a reason to smile ♪
308
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:25,072
♪ And spend the night
if you think I should ♪
309
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,407
Pepper.
310
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,964
Oh.
311
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,740
Hi.
312
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,532
Could I get a glass
of Chablis, please?
313
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,868
Oh, we don't open 'til 11.
314
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:15,039
- It's 11:00 somewhere.
- Sorry, ma'am.
315
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,669
Okay, I'll wait.
316
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:53,327
- Hey, that's where the professor sits.
- Oh, sorry.
317
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:56,747
Thanks.
318
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,290
Thank you.
319
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,339
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
320
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,883
That's where the professor sits.
321
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,219
Uh, sorry, he just told me.
322
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,680
- Someone's quick with the pronouns.
- Uh, it's fine.
323
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,848
I am the professor.
324
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:18,477
- Wa... Y-You're the professor?
- Yeah.
325
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,688
- You're Nya Wallace?
- Yes.
326
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,356
Why do you seem so surprised?
327
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,692
Well, your braids.
328
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,415
A law professor can't
have hair like mine?
329
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,530
- Why is that?
- Oh, no, no, no. I didn't, I didn't mean
330
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,240
because of the braids.
I was, I was...
331
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:34,118
I, I was just thrown
because the braids
332
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,787
are, are so different than
the hair in your photo
333
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,372
on the Columbia website.
334
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,873
My comment had
nothing whatsoever
335
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:40,708
to do with it being
a Black hairstyle.
336
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,543
I, I knew that you were Black
337
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,211
when I signed up for this class.
338
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,414
Uh, that was important to me.
339
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,842
You signed up for this class
because I'm Black?
340
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,302
Well, not just
because you're Black.
341
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,221
I picked this class because...
342
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,323
you're such a force in academia
343
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,892
on top of everything you do
as a community activist.
344
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,394
God, I sound like
such a brown-nose.
345
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,479
I mean, um...
346
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,232
please just forget
347
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,818
that I ever said
anything about your hair.
348
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:10,738
Hair has... nothing whatsoever
349
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,781
to do with, uh, appropriateness,
350
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,492
or intelligence,
or gravitas, obviously.
351
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,636
I mean, do I look like
someone who attaches
352
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,245
any significance to hair?
353
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:22,499
I, I let mine go gray, and I don't
care if it makes me look old.
354
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,419
Not that I'm ageist.
Do I sound ageist?
355
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,337
You really want me
to answer that question?
356
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,799
I am so sorry for
taking everyone's time.
357
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,717
This is not at all who I am.
358
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,302
I will just be quiet now.
359
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,928
Okay, uh...
360
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,766
Hi, hi, hello, everyone.
361
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,744
Welcome to Policies and
Principles of Humanitarian Law.
362
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,061
I am Professor Nya Wallace,
363
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,938
and before we delve into this
364
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:45,647
complicated and important work,
365
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,108
I just want to clear up
366
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,944
that on the Columbia
University website,
367
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,114
- I am rockin' a short
Halle Berry, right?
368
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:58,577
This is "X, Y, and Me,"
the podcast that talks about
369
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,288
gender roles, sexual roles,
and... cinnamon rolls.
370
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:04,917
- All the roles I care
passionately about.
371
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,794
Representing the
cisgender women is...
372
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:07,586
Carrie Bradshaw.
373
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,797
- Hey, hey.
- Hey, Ms. Cis.
374
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,008
And representing
the cishet men is...
375
00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:15,093
the dude himself, Jackie Nee.
376
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,430
What up, sista-brotha?
377
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,741
That's right because
I'm both and neither.
378
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:23,310
I am Che Diaz, your host.
379
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,312
And queer, nonbinary,
Mexican, Irish diva
380
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:28,690
representing everyone else
outside these two boring genders.
381
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,317
Woke moment!
382
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,753
- And yes, I know
that no one person
383
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,654
can represent all the genders,
384
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:34,947
and sexual orientations,
385
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:38,450
or an entire race,
and I, I fully acknowledge
386
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,286
that we are complicated,
diverse beings
387
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,204
here on this wondrous planet
388
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,415
all just striving to be
our very best self.
389
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,168
- Many of us just
tryin' to get laid.
390
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:48,919
Or at least that's what
we talk about on my show,
391
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:51,088
so let's figure some shit out.
392
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,631
- Who's got what?
- I'll go.
393
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:53,775
- Oh, okay.
- Hi, Carrie.
394
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:54,967
- Hello.
- I have a question
395
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,176
for you about women.
396
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,719
What is it, Jackie?
397
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,014
Why don't you see women
jerkin' it on the subway?
398
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,559
I'm hoping that's
a multiple choice question.
399
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,687
Yeah, good one, Jackie. I was worried
you were gonna ask something sophomoric,
400
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:07,956
like, "What can I,
as a straight cis male",
401
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,250
"personally do to eradicate
the harmful patriarchal system
402
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,861
of the gender binary,
and compulsory heterosexuality?"
403
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,780
No, but for serious, I see
dudes masturbating everywhere.
404
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,241
I saw a guy jerkin' off
on the J train today.
405
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,033
I guess that's what
the "J" stands for.
406
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:23,203
And the "A" train
stands for anal.
407
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,764
- Oh, that must be
why I don't ride it.
408
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,332
Woke moment!
409
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,042
Sexual expression
of any kind should
410
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:29,751
always be discussed
and consented to
411
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,879
by all parties involved.
412
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,589
Unless it's just you
and your sex toys.
413
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,424
Then, go ahead!
414
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,050
Surprise yourself.
415
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,761
All right, let's, uh,
move off the prototypes,
416
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,222
and into the personal. Jackie...
417
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,641
- Yeah.
- Have you ever masturbated out in pub...
418
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,452
Nah, you know what?
Let's just speed this along.
419
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,396
Is there any public place
where you haven't masturbated?
420
00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:53,525
Uh... nah.
421
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:54,878
I like to masturbate
at Yankee Stadium.
422
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,737
Well, my version
of masturbation.
423
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,196
I, uh, I wear a Yankees cap,
424
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,825
and I just, uh, I sit
there sippin' a beer,
425
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,076
and...
426
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,703
I really get off on watching
427
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,705
the bros try to
figure out what I am.
428
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:09,207
And it's not just the dudes.
It's also the ladies.
429
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,627
- I'm an equal
opportunity confuser.
430
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,271
- What about you, Carrie?
- Oh, me? What? What? What?
431
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:16,715
Oh. What about, What about me?
Oh, oh, oh...
432
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:19,885
Oh, are you ask... You're asking
me about, about masturbation?
433
00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:22,804
Yes, I'm, I'm asking
you about masturbation.
434
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,198
Particularly you.
Do you masturbate?
435
00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:27,726
Uh, I would like
to buy a vowel, please.
436
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:33,607
Sorry, I don't... I don't
know what that means.
437
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,817
Um, okay, yes, sorry.
438
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,903
Let's see. Ooh, yes.
I'm here, okay.
439
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:41,281
Yes, go. I'm here. Yes.
440
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,176
Um... have you ever
masturbated in a public place?
441
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,995
Uh, well, uh, not
since Barneys closed.
442
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,872
- Hmm.
- Uh, what's Barneys?
443
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:52,459
Okay, now that's offensive.
444
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,733
What are we thinkin' time
frame-wise about our next IVF round?
445
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,259
I don't know, Andre.
446
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,570
Uh, my body still feels off
from that last round,
447
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,806
and why're we talkin' about this
as I'm gettin' on mass transit?
448
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:07,683
Uh, Samuel was just kinda
449
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,018
pushing me about whether I'm
going out on the tour or not.
450
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,454
- Now you're pushing me?
- Am I?
451
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:15,691
Um, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
My bad. I just...
452
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:16,918
I didn't wanna
keep him hangin'.
453
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,986
They've been so good to me.
454
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,362
No, I get that, um...
455
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:26,827
Uh... I guess what
I'm saying is, um...
456
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:27,910
I'm feeling...
457
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,624
Can't talk right now.
458
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,935
No, no. Uh, go ahead, Ny.
459
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,378
- You're feelin' what?
- I can't talk right now, Andre Rashad.
460
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,256
I have a student
lookin' right at me.
461
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:40,132
Shit, she's comin' over here.
462
00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:44,678
Okay, I gotta go.
Uh, I'll be home soon.
463
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,055
I'll set dinner.
Nothin' but love.
464
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,265
Okay, bye.
465
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:50,892
I just wanted
to introduce myself
466
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,894
in a non-manic,
non-crazy lady way.
467
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,063
- Oh.
- I'm Miranda Hobbes,
468
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,898
and that, I don't even
know what to call it,
469
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,418
-performance I gave about your hair...
- It's fine.
470
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:01,862
- We don't have to do that again.
- Oh, I hear ya.
471
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,465
I, I just wanted you
to know that I am,
472
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,991
actually, a serious person,
473
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:08,744
and that being in your class
means a lot to me.
474
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,370
I, I quit...
475
00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:12,664
I, uh...
476
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,499
I left corporate law,
477
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,710
recently, after almost 30 years
478
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:19,129
because I couldn't be part
of the problem anymore.
479
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,214
I was at home watching CNN
480
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,675
when the Muslim ban
was initiated,
481
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,844
and I saw all those attorneys
482
00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:28,221
out at the airport
offering assistance,
483
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:28,889
and I just...
The next thing I knew,
484
00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:32,350
I was in a cab goin' to JFK
485
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:35,270
to do something, anything
because, you know...
486
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:39,816
my wearing a pink pussy hat
just wasn't cutting it.
487
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:43,278
- I'm sorry, I didn't catch a lot of that.
- Probably just as well.
488
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,832
Hey, Carrie. You got a minute?
489
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,752
Oh, sure... That was
a funny show today.
490
00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:01,171
- I like the gloves.
- Oh, thanks.
491
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:04,257
Yeah, they're really mostly for
elevator buttons and handrails.
492
00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:07,010
It's just a little something
I started during the pandemic.
493
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,011
Seems to be hangin' in there.
494
00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:10,055
So, about today's show,
495
00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:11,458
you need to dialogue
with us more.
496
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,769
Oh, um, no, go ahead.
I'll, I'll ride down with you.
497
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:16,852
Okay.
498
00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:27,155
Oh, just a few quick puffs.
I'm so wired after a show.
499
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,449
- You want a hit?
- No, I'm, I'm good, thank you.
500
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,956
Yeah, so...
501
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:38,184
you can't just sit there giggling.
You know what I mean?
502
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:41,086
Well, um,
503
00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:42,188
I'm really stronger
when people call in
504
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:45,382
with relationship questions.
505
00:23:45,465 --> 00:23:47,300
You know, today turned
kind of raunchy.
506
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,611
Well, that's where
it goes sometimes,
507
00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:51,763
and you need to go with it,
or the trolls will label you
508
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:55,142
"the uptight cisgender
female married lady."
509
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,310
- And that's not who you are.
- It's not?
510
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,104
I know you got more.
511
00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:00,540
C'mon, I mean, you had
a column about sexuality
512
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:03,442
in a mainstream newspaper
in the fuckin' 1990s.
513
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:07,154
You're the OG.
You... are badass.
514
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:09,197
Well, you know, that
was writing at a desk.
515
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,784
I'm not a stand-up like you two.
516
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:16,329
I'm, I'm not comfortable
with the more graphic content,
517
00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:18,498
you know, it's just...
It's not me.
518
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,250
Hmm, you might wanna
step out of that box.
519
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:23,753
Surprise yourself.
Just a suggestion.
520
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:26,173
Well, in, in my defense,
I did do that anal joke
521
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:28,341
- about not riding the A train.
- That was good!
522
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,927
- See? Don't hold yourself back.
- Okay.
523
00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:33,388
You were... You were so
funny at your job interview.
524
00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:35,599
Yeah, but that was like
our first date, you know?
525
00:24:35,682 --> 00:24:37,767
I gave you all my good stuff.
526
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,662
Look, I really want this
to work out for all of us,
527
00:24:39,686 --> 00:24:41,188
so I say this with love...
528
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:43,356
ya better step your pussy up.
529
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,985
- Oh, okay.
- Okay, so what're you gonna do?
530
00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:50,780
I'm gonna... step my pussy up?
531
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:53,033
- Hmm, was that a question?
- No.
532
00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:54,951
- Oh.
- I'm gonna step my pussy up.
533
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:57,787
Yes!
534
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:32,614
Do you masturbate?
535
00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:38,870
I feel like that's
a trick question.
536
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:41,957
- Do you?
- Uh, Senator, I'm gonna wait for my counsel
537
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,040
before I respond to that.
538
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,836
Is this for your new book?
539
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:48,963
For the podcast.
540
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:52,592
I have to step my pussy up.
541
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,195
Well, I don't know what
we're talkin' about,
542
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,470
but I like the sound of it.
543
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:58,097
Well...
544
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:00,267
do you?
545
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:04,062
- Do you?
- Yes.
546
00:26:04,145 --> 00:26:05,289
Well, next time
give me a heads up.
547
00:26:05,313 --> 00:26:06,815
I'd like to attend that event.
548
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:09,276
You have my Linkedln
address, right?
549
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,075
Masturbate for me.
550
00:26:19,035 --> 00:26:20,120
I wanna see you.
551
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:23,707
- Okay, what are you doing?
- I'm surprising myself.
552
00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:26,626
Well, you're surprising
the hell outta me, too.
553
00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:32,590
Are you gonna join me?
554
00:26:32,674 --> 00:26:35,051
Mm-mm, I just wanna watch.
555
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:37,470
With or without my glasses?
556
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:41,391
Ahem...
557
00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:44,477
What're you doing?
558
00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:47,230
Getting some lube. I'm not 30.
559
00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,859
I thought you were
reaching for your emergency
560
00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:52,652
nitroglycerin pill.
561
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,571
You want me
to masturbate or not?
562
00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:09,502
- Come here.
- Mm-mm.
563
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,797
Just do what you usually do.
Pretend I'm not here.
564
00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:26,019
Oh, Carrie!
565
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:29,481
Oh my, Carrie!
566
00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:30,648
I must have you!
567
00:27:34,235 --> 00:27:36,571
That's some "Bridgerton"
shit there.
568
00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,825
Look at you.
569
00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:00,428
Hello, lovers.
570
00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:15,819
Oh... the weekly cigar,
571
00:28:15,902 --> 00:28:18,113
and Allegra on the same night?
572
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:20,907
I'm all in, baby.
573
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:22,450
Do you notice anything special?
574
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:27,747
Nope.
575
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:31,376
I see the wedding shoes.
How could I not?
576
00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:33,294
Those blue shoes are
the whole ball game.
577
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:36,005
Hey, I was thinking,
if I get home early enough,
578
00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:37,358
maybe we can drive
out east tonight.
579
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,050
Would you be up for that?
580
00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:41,511
Depends how spent
I am after Allegra.
581
00:28:41,594 --> 00:28:43,221
All right, well...
582
00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:44,514
just text me and let me know
583
00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:47,058
and I won't go out
for a drink after.
584
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:51,729
Okay... I'll see you later.
585
00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:53,231
Hm?
586
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,400
What?
587
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:58,402
I'm just looking at you.
588
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:06,327
All right, tell that whore
Allegra I said bye.
589
00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:17,005
Please put this dress on.
I want us all in florals.
590
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:17,881
I wanna wear what I wanna wear.
591
00:29:17,964 --> 00:29:20,341
What is the problem?
It isn't even poofy.
592
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:23,595
Rose, we're gonna be late!
593
00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:25,889
- And it's Lily's big night.
- Leave me out of this.
594
00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,390
What's the holdup?
What's happenin'?
595
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:30,101
What's happening is that
Rose won't wear her dress.
596
00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:32,103
I picked something else to wear!
597
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:33,980
Can't she just wear
what she wants to wear?
598
00:29:34,063 --> 00:29:35,482
No, Harry, no.
599
00:29:35,565 --> 00:29:37,484
I bought this Oscar de la Renta
600
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:40,737
- special for tonight.
- Okay, okay.
601
00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:45,450
How about if I wear it?
602
00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:49,370
Rose, baby...
603
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:51,285
can you just wear the dress?
604
00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:53,791
Please?
605
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,835
Please. For me?
606
00:30:04,677 --> 00:30:07,138
- Hey, you. I like your outfit.
- It's really cute, right?
607
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:10,350
Hi, hi, hi! Sorry
we're a little late!
608
00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:12,101
What the hell is
with that getup?
609
00:30:12,185 --> 00:30:13,853
She looks like
a little Edie Beale.
610
00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,396
Anthony, not now.
611
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,482
Not in front of the Manhattan
School of Music, okay?
612
00:30:17,565 --> 00:30:20,360
Hey, I have everybody's tickets!
613
00:30:21,444 --> 00:30:24,280
Steve-o, long time, no see.
614
00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:25,949
- What's new?
- Hey, I got hearing aids.
615
00:30:26,032 --> 00:30:28,326
- I'm an old timer now.
- No, you're not.
616
00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:30,578
You only have 60%
hearing loss in one ear,
617
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:31,829
and 40% in the other.
618
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,331
- Yeah, 'cause I'm old.
- Ugh!
619
00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:37,710
- Honey, I think we should get Lily backstage, don't you?
- Yes, I agree.
620
00:30:37,794 --> 00:30:40,255
Lily! Here, tickets.
621
00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:42,382
- Brady, here are your tickets.
- Thanks, Mom.
622
00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:44,384
- Good luck! Are you nervous?
- Not really.
623
00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:48,513
- I've played this piece like a billion times.
- Oh my god, I wanna be you.
624
00:30:48,596 --> 00:30:51,266
- Go!
- I'll see you all inside!
625
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:53,369
- Have a good show!
- Oh, Anthony, I gave Stanford's ticket to Carrie.
626
00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,396
- Okay.
- I got it.
627
00:30:56,479 --> 00:30:58,731
- So, where's your better half?
- He's late.
628
00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:01,234
- He couldn't decide what to wear.
- Of course.
629
00:31:01,317 --> 00:31:04,404
Well, there he is!
Hey, good lookin'!
630
00:31:04,487 --> 00:31:06,906
- Whatcha got cookin'?
- You left?!
631
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:09,576
- You just left?!
- Oh, we're not in the same place.
632
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:11,452
I told you I wasn't waiting.
633
00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:13,329
What kind of person just leaves?
634
00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:15,915
- Steve, would you ever just leave Miranda?
- Oh, boy.
635
00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:17,542
What? What he say?
636
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:20,253
You were picking out a suit
for an hour and a half.
637
00:31:20,336 --> 00:31:21,564
Periwinkle or tan?
Periwinkle or tan?
638
00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:23,756
It didn't friggin' matter!
639
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,968
I'm goin' in.
Carrie has your ticket.
640
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:29,053
- I do.
- Did I kiss you hello yet?
641
00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:32,223
Mm-mm. What was all that?
642
00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:36,603
- Us on a good night.
- Oh, Lord.
643
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,564
Everyone was looking at me
like I was the white lady
644
00:31:39,647 --> 00:31:41,287
who couldn't stop
saying the word "Black."
645
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:43,192
It's a miracle nobody
pulled out their phone,
646
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,944
or I would be a meme now.
647
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:47,196
What do you think was
goin' on with you?
648
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:48,781
I think I was just so worried
649
00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:51,034
about saying the wrong
thing in this climate
650
00:31:51,117 --> 00:31:52,994
that I said all
the wrong things.
651
00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:55,288
I'm sure you didn't say
all the wrong things.
652
00:31:55,371 --> 00:31:57,999
You're right. I'll probably
blurt out some new ones tomorrow.
653
00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:01,961
God, is this even moving?
I really have to go.
654
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:05,131
Well, there's no line for
the men's room, as usual.
655
00:32:05,214 --> 00:32:07,800
Fuck it. I'm 55,
and I have to pee.
656
00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,737
Ladies and gentlemen,
the show is about to begin.
657
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,804
Please find your
way to your seats.
658
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:14,599
It's funny, you
couldn't stop talking,
659
00:32:14,682 --> 00:32:17,185
and my boss told me if
I wanna keep my podcast job,
660
00:32:17,268 --> 00:32:18,787
which I do, I'm gonna
have to start talking,
661
00:32:18,811 --> 00:32:22,607
and a lot more
graphically about sex.
662
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:23,917
That's not who you are.
663
00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:27,403
Well, we can't stay
who we were, right?
664
00:32:29,405 --> 00:32:31,074
Oh, yeah, no, you're
in the right place.
665
00:32:31,157 --> 00:32:32,950
Sorry, I'm just standing
guard for my friend.
666
00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:34,369
She'll be done any second now.
667
00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:36,663
See?
668
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:39,666
- Just...
- Hey.
669
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:45,004
- Hello, again.
- Oh yeah.
670
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,965
Oh, excuse me, ma'am.
671
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:50,009
- Hey, where's Stanny?
- He's in the balcony.
672
00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,904
He'll meet ya in the lobby
to go for a drink after.
673
00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:55,848
Hope you like your Cosmos
with a side of drama.
674
00:32:55,932 --> 00:32:58,059
Charlotte gave his seat to Rose.
675
00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:00,853
- Well, what's he doing in the balcony?
- Actin' out.
676
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:04,816
Accused me of scrollin' hot boys
at a friggin' kids' piano recital.
677
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:07,193
- Well, what're you doin'?
- Scrollin' hot boys...
678
00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:08,736
for my sourdough business.
679
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:09,963
Hotfellas Bread
is not gonna find
680
00:33:09,987 --> 00:33:12,615
its own hot fellas
to deliver the bread.
681
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:13,699
So true.
682
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:16,911
- Well, what about him?
- Unavail.
683
00:33:16,994 --> 00:33:18,746
- Well, he's hot.
- Unavail.
684
00:33:19,455 --> 00:33:23,876
Not hot, not hot, not hot.
685
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,045
- Well, he looks like he could kill you.
- Hot.
686
00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:27,755
Who wants wine? Carrie?
687
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:31,718
Oh, sure. I love
some good purse wine.
688
00:33:31,801 --> 00:33:34,929
- Hi, Charlotte.
- Hi, how are you?
689
00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:36,723
Miranda.
690
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:41,060
What? I had a rough
first day of school,
691
00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:43,354
and I'm lookin' at two
hours of tween Mozart.
692
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:46,399
Let it go.
693
00:33:46,482 --> 00:33:49,068
- Charlotte... Hi!
- Hi!
694
00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:50,879
I wanted you to meet my
mother-in-law, Eunice Wexley.
695
00:33:50,903 --> 00:33:54,073
- Oh, it is so nice to meet you.
- Hello.
696
00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:58,161
- Uh, Lisa, where am I seated?
- I have you seated here
697
00:33:58,244 --> 00:34:00,246
with Herbert Jr.
And Gabrielle in this row
698
00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:03,040
right in front of
Herbert and myself.
699
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,333
This far back?
700
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:07,044
Yes... God.
701
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:09,589
Miranda brought wine.
702
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:11,424
She had a rough
first day of school.
703
00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:13,593
My hero. May I have some?
704
00:34:13,676 --> 00:34:15,052
Here, give that
to Black Charlotte.
705
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:21,017
- You sure you good?
- I got this.
706
00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:23,144
All right, you got this.
707
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,712
All right, uh,
he don't got this.
708
00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:50,797
No.
709
00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:08,356
I think my soul
just left my body.
710
00:35:13,027 --> 00:35:16,280
- Pass.
- Don't you want to know what it is?
711
00:35:16,364 --> 00:35:18,282
Is it alcoholic in nature?
712
00:35:19,575 --> 00:35:20,910
Then pass.
713
00:35:21,327 --> 00:35:22,370
Thank you.
714
00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,881
Welcome to Peloton.
I'm Allegra Planche,
715
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:35,341
and thank you for joining me
716
00:35:35,424 --> 00:35:37,969
for this 45-minute power ride.
717
00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:39,554
- Let's go!
- Yes!
718
00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:51,440
- Tell your son to stop.
- What?
719
00:35:52,775 --> 00:35:54,277
They're making out.
720
00:35:55,444 --> 00:35:58,865
It's your turn. I can't
always be the bad guy.
721
00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:01,576
- Mom, we will not
be sex-shamed.
722
00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:03,286
Tell Luisa I got the message.
723
00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:48,414
In three, two, one, pick it up!
724
00:37:02,219 --> 00:37:03,219
Ah, sí, señor!
725
00:37:19,028 --> 00:37:22,281
Now, we sprint.
Three, two, one, go!
726
00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:29,956
Whew!
727
00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:31,457
Celebrate yourself!
728
00:37:39,006 --> 00:37:41,175
We have a three-minute climb.
729
00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:43,135
Three, two, one, arriba!
730
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:51,310
Now we sprint!
Three, two, one, go!
731
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:28,430
Shit!
732
00:38:56,959 --> 00:38:59,503
Yeah, Lily!
733
00:39:04,133 --> 00:39:05,885
Woo!
734
00:39:05,968 --> 00:39:07,261
Woo!
735
00:39:10,639 --> 00:39:11,640
Thanks, thanks.
736
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:15,478
I need to stay at your old
apartment again tonight.
737
00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:17,021
I'm not going home to that
738
00:39:17,104 --> 00:39:20,066
selfish, self-involved,
sourdough Mussolini.
739
00:39:20,149 --> 00:39:21,400
I can't get a drink.
740
00:39:21,484 --> 00:39:22,669
Big and I are gonna drive
out to the beach tonight.
741
00:39:22,693 --> 00:39:24,153
Oh, fuck me.
742
00:39:24,236 --> 00:39:27,823
I'm sorry. Here. Here's the key.
743
00:39:27,907 --> 00:39:30,409
Oh, go. I had one made
after our last fight.
744
00:39:32,244 --> 00:39:32,578
- Nighty-night.
- Good night.
745
00:39:32,661 --> 00:39:34,246
Good night.
746
00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:38,709
Oh, oh.
747
00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:48,969
Hmm.
748
00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,269
I'm here.
749
00:40:17,873 --> 00:40:18,874
John?
750
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:39,728
John!
751
00:40:41,605 --> 00:40:42,022
Oh god!
752
00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:44,817
Oh god, John! Oh!
753
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:45,900
John! Honey!
754
00:40:47,069 --> 00:40:49,655
John! Honey?
755
00:40:49,738 --> 00:40:50,738
Oh!
756
00:40:52,366 --> 00:40:55,411
Honey!
757
00:40:55,494 --> 00:40:57,580
John! John.
758
00:40:58,414 --> 00:40:59,414
John.
759
00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:01,208
John.
760
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:02,292
John.
761
00:41:10,926 --> 00:41:14,972
Oh god!
762
00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:17,474
John. John.
763
00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:19,685
John.
764
00:41:19,768 --> 00:41:21,729
John.
765
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:22,812
John.
766
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:25,482
And just like that...
767
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:29,069
Big died.
768
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:40,289
♪ I know I can count on you ♪
769
00:41:40,372 --> 00:41:43,542
♪ Sometimes I feel like sayin',
Lord, I just don't care ♪
770
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:46,462
♪ But you've got the love
I need to see me through ♪
771
00:41:53,093 --> 00:41:57,848
♪ When food is gone,
you are my daily meal ♪
772
00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:01,560
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
773
00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:06,148
♪ When friends are gone, I
know my Savior's love is real ♪
774
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:10,027
♪ Your love is real ♪
775
00:42:10,110 --> 00:42:13,072
♪ You've got the love,
you've got the love ♪
776
00:42:13,155 --> 00:42:16,242
♪ You've got the love ♪
777
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:22,414
♪ You've got the love,
you've got the love ♪
778
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,124
♪ You've got the love ♪
779
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:27,920
♪ Sometimes I feel like ♪
780
00:42:28,003 --> 00:42:29,463
♪ Throwin' my hands
up in the air ♪
781
00:42:31,507 --> 00:42:35,261
♪ I know I can count on you ♪
782
00:42:35,344 --> 00:42:38,764
♪ Sometimes I feel like sayin',
Lord, I just don't care ♪
783
00:42:38,847 --> 00:42:42,851
♪ But you've got the love
I need to see me through ♪
784
00:43:00,869 --> 00:43:04,790
♪ Time after time I say,
oh, Lord, what's the use ♪
785
00:43:04,873 --> 00:43:08,752
♪ Time after time
I say, this just won't do ♪
786
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,921
♪ But sooner or later in life ♪
787
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:13,257
♪ The things you love,
you lose ♪
788
00:43:13,340 --> 00:43:17,011
♪ Just like before
you know I call on you ♪
789
00:43:17,094 --> 00:43:22,266
♪ Occasionally my thoughts are
brave and friends are few ♪
790
00:43:22,349 --> 00:43:26,478
♪ Occasionally I cry out,
Lord, what must I do? ♪
791
00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:29,857
♪ Occasionally I call out,
Master, make me new ♪
792
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:34,945
♪ You've got the love
I need to see me through ♪
793
00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:38,574
♪ Sometimes I feel like throwing
my hands up in the air ♪
794
00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:43,495
♪ I know I can count on you ♪
795
00:43:43,579 --> 00:43:47,666
♪ You've got the love,
you've got the love ♪
796
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:49,585
♪ You've got the love ♪
797
00:43:51,253 --> 00:43:53,297
♪ You've got the love ♪
798
00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:55,341
♪ You've got the love ♪
799
00:43:55,424 --> 00:43:58,344
♪ You've got the love, ooh ♪
59430
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