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1
00:00:04,647 --> 00:00:06,714
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,509
You're ruining it!
Get your fingers
out of it!
3
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,610
It's mine!
4
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,396
BERNIE: Hey, hey, hey.
I made it,
5
00:00:22,473 --> 00:00:24,514
and she ruined it.
It's my oven
6
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,767
and I don't want
to share with him anymore!
7
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,152
JORDAN: We had a deal:
I make 'em
8
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,311
and you eat 'em.
9
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,812
I'm full!
10
00:00:30,889 --> 00:00:31,813
BERNIE: Jordan, Jordan,
11
00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:33,732
come, come here for a minute.
12
00:00:33,809 --> 00:00:35,525
(frustrated groan)
13
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,027
BERNIE: Come on in here.
14
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,579
Go on over there.
15
00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,417
What's your problem?
16
00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:45,660
How old is your sister?
17
00:00:45,737 --> 00:00:46,787
Nine.
18
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,838
And how old are you?
19
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:48,914
Twelve.
20
00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:49,956
Why don't you go outside
21
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:51,917
and play with kids your own age?
22
00:00:51,993 --> 00:00:53,794
"A," they don't let me,
23
00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:56,546
and "B," my cartoons are on.
24
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,031
As a matter of fact...
25
00:00:58,108 --> 00:01:00,050
BERNIE: That's another thing,
you stay in the house
26
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,718
and keep watching
these doggone cartoons.
27
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,553
I'm sick of that.
You don't leave the house
28
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,388
between 2:00 and 4:00
because of your soaps.
29
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,308
That's a complicated
relationship about stories.
30
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:09,401
It don't concern you.
31
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,362
All right. Can we talk
about this after Sonic X?
32
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:15,407
Oh, get on out of here.
33
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,786
(car horn honks)
34
00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:23,865
(upbeat music playing)
35
00:01:23,942 --> 00:01:25,492
Oh, no, get out of my seat.
36
00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,285
BRYANA: Uh-uh,
I called front seat.
37
00:01:27,362 --> 00:01:28,611
BERNIE: Jordan,
just get in the back.
38
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,048
I can't sit in the back
with her in the front.
39
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,490
What will it look like?
40
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:34,218
BERNIE: Hey,
just get in the back.
41
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,637
Get out!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
42
00:01:36,713 --> 00:01:39,214
BERNIE: Jordan,
get in the back seat now, man!
43
00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:41,508
(grunts)
(laughing)
44
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:42,425
See you, Jordan.
45
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,393
Bye.
46
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,104
Hi, Jason, you need a lift?
47
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:46,888
No, thanks, Mr. Mac.
48
00:01:46,965 --> 00:01:48,232
I walk home.
49
00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:52,653
(blows raspberry)
50
00:01:54,264 --> 00:01:56,314
What's wrong with this boy?
51
00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:58,775
It's like he's regressing,
or something.
52
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,944
I got to take action, America.
53
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,863
If it mean kicking him
in the backside
54
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,365
into puberty, so be it.
55
00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:08,285
I got to take action.
56
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,254
Kick his ass like a extra point.
57
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,250
WANDA: Okay, thanks.
58
00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:16,960
Hey, Nessa, dinner's
almost ready.
59
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,461
I'm not hungry.
60
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:19,713
Okay.
61
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:22,182
(door slams close)
62
00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:24,092
WANDA: Vanessa?
63
00:02:24,169 --> 00:02:25,802
(knocks on door)
64
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,387
WANDA: Are you okay?
65
00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:29,973
No.
66
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,766
WANDA: Honey, I'm coming in.
67
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,695
(upbeat music playing)
68
00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,861
Sweetie?
69
00:02:42,938 --> 00:02:44,288
What's the matter?
70
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,699
I don't want to talk about it.
71
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:48,825
(sighs)
72
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:51,286
Okay, is it a boy?
73
00:02:51,363 --> 00:02:53,038
It's about 20 of them.
74
00:02:53,114 --> 00:02:55,498
What?
75
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,218
You can't tell Uncle Bernie.
76
00:02:58,295 --> 00:02:59,369
Okay, well, talk to me.
77
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,171
Okay, well,
you know how sometimes
78
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,839
I go swimming after school?
79
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,107
Mm-hmm.
80
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,593
Well, today a bunch of us
went swimming,
81
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:09,763
and there's this big-mouth
named Andrew Gumpert,
82
00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:13,567
and he dared me
to jump off the high board.
83
00:03:13,644 --> 00:03:16,353
Okay.
So, I couldn't let him
show me up.
84
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,814
So, I did a swan dive,
and it was really good.
85
00:03:19,891 --> 00:03:21,825
Okay, good for you. (chuckles)
86
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,402
No, it wasn't.
No?
87
00:03:24,479 --> 00:03:27,864
When I came up
out of the water, my...
88
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,074
my top had fallen off,
89
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,910
and everyone saw me topless.
90
00:03:31,987 --> 00:03:35,205
Oh, aw, ouch.
91
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:37,040
I don't think
I can ever go back.
92
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:40,043
Can I transfer?
93
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,836
Ooh, that's rough.
94
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,714
But no, you can't transfer.
95
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:45,757
(groans)
96
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,133
I know it's gonna be
97
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:48,593
a rough next couple of days,
98
00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:52,272
but pinky swear,
it'll blow over.
99
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,725
(knocks on door)
100
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:56,985
BERNIE: Hey, girls!
101
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,228
What's going on?
102
00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,980
Nothing!
Nothing!
103
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:02,065
We'll be out!
104
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,516
It'll be okay.
105
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:09,489
BERNIE: Jordan, you're about
to become a teenager.
106
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,491
You have to start
acting more mature.
107
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:13,252
You have to start
acting like it.
108
00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:14,378
Want me to act
like Vanessa?
109
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,771
No, I definitely
don't want you to.
110
00:04:15,847 --> 00:04:17,455
I want you to become
more independent,
111
00:04:17,532 --> 00:04:19,165
like your friend, Jason.
112
00:04:19,242 --> 00:04:21,126
I bet he don't fight
over front seats.
113
00:04:21,202 --> 00:04:22,210
Well, that's because
he walks home.
114
00:04:22,287 --> 00:04:23,837
That's my point.
115
00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,255
And that's what you're
gonna start doing,
116
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,256
starting tomorrow.
117
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,924
You're walking home.
118
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,384
You're becoming a man.
119
00:04:29,461 --> 00:04:30,927
You're gonna let me
walk home?!
120
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,262
Awesome!
121
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,264
How dangerous
can it be, baby?
122
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,890
We live in Encino.
123
00:04:35,967 --> 00:04:37,100
What's the worst thing
that's gon' happen?
124
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,518
He gon' fall in the pool?
125
00:04:38,595 --> 00:04:41,604
Do you really think
he can handle it?
126
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,523
Sweetheart,
when I was his age,
127
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,275
I was all over
the place.
128
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,327
I was on the bus, the el.
129
00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:49,863
I was sitting there,
man, at Smitty's.
130
00:04:49,939 --> 00:04:51,114
Long as I was back in time
131
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,367
to set the table
for Big Mama dinner.
132
00:04:54,444 --> 00:04:56,369
Well, you know he has asthma.
133
00:04:56,446 --> 00:05:00,123
Sweetheart,
we asking him to walk.
134
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,916
Not asking him to run.
135
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,918
The school ain't nothing
but a half a mile away
136
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,462
from the home.
137
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,298
He's gonna be fine.
138
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,717
I don't know, Bernie.
139
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,302
Well, I know.
140
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,678
And that's final.
141
00:05:13,755 --> 00:05:16,306
He's going to be a man someday.
142
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,649
He's going to be all right.
143
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,935
(car signal beeping)
144
00:05:21,012 --> 00:05:22,863
(upbeat music playing)
145
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:27,025
BERNIE: You don't look like
you're ready for school.
146
00:05:27,102 --> 00:05:28,026
WANDA: Uh, she's sick.
147
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:29,319
She's gonna
stay home today.
148
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,079
VANESSA: (coughs)
149
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,332
You weren't sick
all this weekend.
150
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,498
I don't feel no fever.
151
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,291
WANDA: That's because
it's a stomach thing.
152
00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:44,734
BERNIE: Oh, yeah?
153
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:48,347
All right, but stay out
of my bathroom, you hear me?
154
00:05:53,294 --> 00:05:54,386
WANDA: Uno mas, por favor.
155
00:05:54,462 --> 00:05:55,637
Don't talk to strangers.
156
00:05:55,713 --> 00:05:57,347
Don't forget
to look both ways
157
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,891
and don't play
with fire ants.
158
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:03,686
Sweetheart, quit treating
the boy like a baby.
159
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,271
The boy knows to come home.
160
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:06,898
Come straight home after school.
161
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:07,783
Simple as that.
162
00:06:07,859 --> 00:06:08,858
Come straight home.
163
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:09,943
Thank you.
164
00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,694
Okay, well,
one last thing.
165
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,655
I bought this medic
alert bracelet
166
00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:15,031
to make sure
that everyone knows
167
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,616
about your allergies, okay?
168
00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:19,702
Now, this one
is "A" through "F,"
169
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,955
and this one is "G"
through "Z," okay?
170
00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:23,748
Sweetheart, that boy
don't want to be wearing no...
171
00:06:23,825 --> 00:06:25,500
Cool! Now I can be
like Wonder Woman!
172
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,886
Plink, plink, plink,
plink, plink!
173
00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:30,171
Mmm. Kiss.
174
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,606
Got to go.
175
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,687
(car horn honking)
ALL: Car!
176
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,939
(music playing)
177
00:06:52,437 --> 00:06:53,987
BERNIE: Hey, baby.
Hi.
178
00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:56,531
Um... hi.
179
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,783
Did you know that Jordan
was outside playing football?
180
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:00,669
Sure do. What do
you think this for?
181
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,328
Football?
182
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:04,873
Yeah, with Todd
and them.
183
00:07:04,949 --> 00:07:06,458
Todd?
Yeah.
184
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,418
Isn't he the one
that stole his socks?
185
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,178
It sure is.
Oh!
186
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:11,296
No, no, no, no, no, no.
187
00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:12,672
Wanda, Wanda, come here.
188
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:14,474
They bonded
on the walk home.
189
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,477
I told you.
190
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,053
I told you.
191
00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:20,430
Yeah, you told me.
192
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,182
(chuckles)
193
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,309
Bernie Mac knows
what he's doing.
194
00:07:24,385 --> 00:07:26,236
Jordan's playing football
with the fellas.
195
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,737
I told her that!
196
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,574
Man!
197
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,947
That's sour.
198
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,040
Tart.
199
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,087
Gack!
200
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,831
Tangy.
201
00:07:46,908 --> 00:07:48,216
Yahh!
202
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,759
Yahh.
203
00:07:56,918 --> 00:07:59,978
(music playing)
204
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:00,937
Hmm.
205
00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:04,390
I call.
206
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,935
Okay, big fella, what you got?
207
00:08:07,011 --> 00:08:08,186
Full house,
ladies and gentlemen.
208
00:08:08,263 --> 00:08:10,063
Say what? Yes, sir.
209
00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,148
Yes, sir.
That's pretty.
210
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,650
Well played.
211
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,109
(others snickering)
212
00:08:15,186 --> 00:08:16,402
"Well played"?
213
00:08:16,479 --> 00:08:18,029
You're into him
214
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,021
for a buck 50.
215
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,448
Where's the sore loser?
216
00:08:20,525 --> 00:08:21,750
The insults, the threats?
217
00:08:21,826 --> 00:08:23,376
You know, the reason
we come here, man.
218
00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:25,245
(laughing)
219
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,121
No, I'm in a great mood, man.
220
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,798
I'm in a great mood, y'all.
221
00:08:30,451 --> 00:08:31,793
Here, Uncle Bernie,
here's your chips.
222
00:08:31,869 --> 00:08:33,019
Thank you.
223
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,304
And that's the reason why,
right there.
224
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,130
What, you taught
him to fetch?
225
00:08:36,207 --> 00:08:37,048
(laughing)
226
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,516
I'm kidding.
That's foul.
227
00:08:38,593 --> 00:08:40,635
BERNIE: Hey, son, tell the guys
what you been doing.
228
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,637
I played football
with the fellas.
229
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,305
I was the designated hiker.
230
00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:45,848
(chuckling)
231
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,559
He's walking home
from school now,
232
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,270
so he's playing sports
afterwards with all the guys.
233
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,321
Uh-huh, and tomorrow
234
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,605
they're actually
gonna throw me the ball.
235
00:08:52,682 --> 00:08:54,324
All right guys.
I got to go rest up.
236
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,450
Good night.
237
00:08:55,527 --> 00:08:56,576
All right now,
little man.
238
00:08:56,653 --> 00:08:58,203
See you, big fella.
239
00:08:59,897 --> 00:09:01,239
MAN: All right, man,
I remember them days
240
00:09:01,316 --> 00:09:02,407
walking home, boy,
241
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,283
and we used to set it off.
242
00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:04,483
Yeah, we had fun.
243
00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:05,368
MAN: Them practical
jokes, man.
244
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,703
I remember this one time, man,
245
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:07,745
I had this neighbor
I didn't like.
246
00:09:07,822 --> 00:09:09,789
So, I took their
mailbox, right?
247
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:10,999
And then when
they bought a new one,
248
00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:13,176
I waited a couple days,
stole that one
249
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,211
and put the old one back.
250
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,546
Classics!
251
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,214
Criminal, son.
252
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,049
Federal. (laughing)
253
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,553
Hey, but we didn't have
no doggone mailboxes, man.
254
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,263
We'd just take the mailman.
255
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:28,191
(laughing)
256
00:09:29,594 --> 00:09:31,519
And that's why I'm pretty sure
257
00:09:31,596 --> 00:09:32,779
she's into me.
258
00:09:32,856 --> 00:09:36,190
Dude, Sister Lois
is not into you.
259
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,442
You know what?
260
00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:39,861
Let's just agree to disagree.
261
00:09:39,937 --> 00:09:41,779
You know what, guys?
I been thinking.
262
00:09:41,856 --> 00:09:43,865
We should set it off.
263
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,033
Oh, man.
264
00:09:45,109 --> 00:09:46,909
Set what off?
265
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,328
Set what off?
266
00:09:48,404 --> 00:09:50,038
(sighs)
(music playing)
267
00:09:50,114 --> 00:09:52,007
(doorbell rings)
268
00:09:53,451 --> 00:09:54,551
(door opens)
269
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:57,262
SINGER: ♪ Cool Jerk ♪
270
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,049
♪ Cool Jerk ♪
Hello?
271
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:01,874
(knocks on door)
272
00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:03,810
SINGER: ♪ Cool Jerk ♪
273
00:10:04,629 --> 00:10:07,055
♪ Cool Jerk ♪
274
00:10:07,131 --> 00:10:10,433
♪ We know a cat who canreally do the Cool Jerk! ♪
275
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,977
Hello?
276
00:10:13,054 --> 00:10:14,404
SINGER: ♪ We know a catwho can really dothe Cool Jerk ♪
277
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:17,065
(whispers) Go, go, go!
278
00:10:17,141 --> 00:10:18,825
SINGER: ♪ Well... ♪
(doorbell rings)
279
00:10:18,902 --> 00:10:20,401
SINGER: ♪ This catthey talkin' about ♪
280
00:10:20,478 --> 00:10:22,236
I must be losing my mind.
SINGER: ♪ I wonder ♪
281
00:10:22,313 --> 00:10:24,030
♪ Who could it be? ♪
282
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,999
♪ 'Cause I knowI'm the happiest cat ♪
283
00:10:26,076 --> 00:10:27,367
(snickering)
284
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,660
SINGER: ♪ The happiest cat ♪
285
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,161
♪ You ever did see! ♪
286
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,829
That was hilarious.
287
00:10:31,906 --> 00:10:33,414
Man, I seriously thought
that old lady
288
00:10:33,491 --> 00:10:34,957
was going to hear me laughing.
289
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,058
You know what?
290
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,379
We have to do that
to Mr. Meanie.
291
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:41,255
You mean that guy
on your block?
292
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,715
The one that
keeps every ball
293
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,550
that lands on his yard?
294
00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:46,260
No way.
295
00:10:46,337 --> 00:10:47,553
That guy's nuts.
296
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:48,471
JORDAN: I can't.
297
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,440
It's too far.
298
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,766
If I get home too late,
my Uncle Bernie
299
00:10:51,843 --> 00:10:53,059
won't let me walk anymore.
300
00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:54,560
Oh.
301
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,978
But maybe I can get around
302
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,355
that tomorrow.
303
00:10:57,432 --> 00:10:58,940
All right!
304
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:00,617
Yeah, yeah.
305
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,115
BERNIE: Hey, what you doing
with my old pillows on?
306
00:11:07,191 --> 00:11:09,075
The guys are letting me
play goalie.
307
00:11:09,152 --> 00:11:10,377
Street hockey?
308
00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:13,162
You see this?
309
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,331
Just a few days ago,
he was friendless.
310
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:19,127
I mean watching cartoons,
fighting with his baby sister.
311
00:11:19,203 --> 00:11:22,597
Now this man is breaking down
all racial barriers
312
00:11:22,674 --> 00:11:24,966
and playing goalie.
313
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:28,103
My man. My man.
314
00:11:29,714 --> 00:11:32,315
And tomorrow,
we're playing basketball.
315
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,808
Hold up.
316
00:11:33,885 --> 00:11:36,519
You mean to tell me
you're playing basketball,
317
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,613
hockey and football
318
00:11:38,690 --> 00:11:41,315
all in one week?
319
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,650
Oh.
320
00:11:42,727 --> 00:11:44,619
Oh, my heart is still beating.
321
00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:46,487
Oh, my God.
322
00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:48,197
Too bad I can't play, though.
323
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,451
You keep on practicing,
you'll hit some baskets.
324
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,426
JORDAN: No, it's just that
325
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,078
they're playing at Todd's house,
326
00:11:54,155 --> 00:11:56,914
and you said I have
to come straight home.
327
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,041
BERNIE: Well, don't you worry
about what I said.
328
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,760
You go on over
to Todd's house,
329
00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:03,138
and, uh , hey,
330
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:04,672
you go on and play.
331
00:12:04,749 --> 00:12:06,349
You hear me?
332
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:10,052
Hey, what are you all
using for a puck?
333
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,637
Okay, see now,
334
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,222
this contradicts
the beginning.
335
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,107
Check it out.
336
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,643
Aunt Wanda?
337
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:18,594
Yeah?
338
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,396
Can I borrow your Cosmo?
339
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,866
Uh, yeah, it's right
next to my bed.
340
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:23,992
Thanks.
341
00:12:27,605 --> 00:12:29,030
She ain't sick.
342
00:12:29,106 --> 00:12:30,948
I know sick.
343
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,209
Honey, I said
I would handle it.
344
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,581
Well, Wanda,
you handle it, okay?
345
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:41,042
Okay.
'Cause she ain't sick.
346
00:12:41,118 --> 00:12:44,086
These eyes--I see everything.
347
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,389
And I know sick when I see it.
348
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:47,932
Don't nothing get past me.
349
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,219
JORDAN: TP?
350
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:52,645
Two rolls of two-ply.
351
00:12:52,722 --> 00:12:54,439
Eggs?
Check.
352
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:56,274
Matches?
353
00:12:57,802 --> 00:12:58,902
Check.
354
00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:00,403
Dog poop?
355
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,732
Check.
356
00:13:04,809 --> 00:13:06,192
Oh, man, I'm in trouble.
357
00:13:06,269 --> 00:13:07,360
What happened?
358
00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:09,403
I grabbed my dad's lunch
by mistake.
359
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,696
(laughing)
360
00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:11,864
JORDAN: Oh, man.
361
00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:14,951
All right,
Operation Mr. Meanie is a go.
362
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:17,745
All we need to do
is see a dog about some poo.
363
00:13:17,822 --> 00:13:19,705
(chuckles) Yeah.
364
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,458
VANESSA: They're still
talking about it?
365
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,043
Ugh! I am so humiliated.
366
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,754
I don't think I can ever
go back to school.
367
00:13:26,831 --> 00:13:28,548
Nessa?
368
00:13:28,624 --> 00:13:29,757
Are you finally gonna tell me
369
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:31,434
what's going on around here?
370
00:13:32,503 --> 00:13:35,012
I'll call you back.
371
00:13:35,089 --> 00:13:37,431
Baby, what's going on?
372
00:13:37,508 --> 00:13:38,775
(sighs)
373
00:13:41,846 --> 00:13:44,772
Oh, Nessa, come on.
374
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,449
They saw all of it?
375
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:50,069
You didn't have
the right size on or something?
376
00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:52,121
You're not making me feel
any better.
377
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,574
I'm not trying
to make you feel bad.
378
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:55,867
They saw all of it?
379
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,160
(doorbell rings)
380
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:00,955
You-you know what, I-I'm gonna
let you
381
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,039
and your Aunt Wanda
handle this.
382
00:14:02,116 --> 00:14:03,916
This is over my head.
383
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:06,669
Going to be all
on the bathroom wall.
384
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,554
Oh!
385
00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,305
(doorbell rings)
386
00:14:13,628 --> 00:14:15,937
I knew she was faking.
387
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,807
Hey, Mr. Martin,
how are you doing?
388
00:14:19,884 --> 00:14:21,067
What can I do for you?
Listen,
389
00:14:21,144 --> 00:14:23,361
I caught your boy here
vandalizing my property.
390
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,529
No, that can't be.
391
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,148
He was playing basketball
with his friends.
392
00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:28,608
MR. MARTIN:
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
393
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:29,901
Uh, there were five of them,
394
00:14:29,977 --> 00:14:32,036
and this one was the slowest.
395
00:14:34,732 --> 00:14:36,782
Come on in here, boy.
396
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:39,243
Right now,
come on in here.
397
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,455
I guess he's lying
on you, too, huh?
398
00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:44,457
Thank you, Mr. Martin,
I really appreciate it.
399
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:45,574
I'm sorry.
400
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:51,339
I should have known
he wasn't playing
401
00:14:51,415 --> 00:14:52,506
all those sports!
402
00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:55,685
No, America, he was playing me.
403
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,179
Exploiting my deepest desires.
404
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:02,016
That's the only way
he got past the all-seeing eye.
405
00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:03,851
America, there ain't no way
406
00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,062
he's gonna get past
the backhand.
407
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:08,147
Got me in trouble
with Mr. Meanie.
408
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,358
You saw him
when he came to the door.
409
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:11,692
You saw his face.
410
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:13,136
Scared the hell out of me.
411
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,029
I ain't never been scared
of a white man,
412
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:16,915
since I saw Roots.
413
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:22,962
How'd it go?
414
00:15:23,039 --> 00:15:25,581
The boy was singing
like a damn canary.
415
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,675
Gave up all his accomplices.
416
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,552
I called all the parents.
417
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:32,371
WANDA: Well,
at least I'm relieved
418
00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:34,557
he won't be walking
to school anymore.
419
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,726
Oh, he's walking
to school.
420
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,260
But I guarantee he won't be
pulling
421
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,971
that Mr. Meanie stuff
no more,
422
00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:42,056
and he's gonna be
sleeping on his belly.
423
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:45,226
You're gonna make him
walk after all?
424
00:15:45,302 --> 00:15:46,686
Sure am.
425
00:15:46,762 --> 00:15:47,645
He's walking.
426
00:15:47,722 --> 00:15:49,605
Look, sweetheart,
427
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,732
you can't keep
coddling the boy.
428
00:15:51,809 --> 00:15:55,069
You can't keep
treating him like Nessa.
429
00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:56,454
You don't even know
what it's like
430
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:58,081
to be a teenage girl.
431
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:01,492
Sweetheart, I'm sorry
the boys saw her, too.
432
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:02,743
Believe me, I am.
433
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,504
But she can't
hide forever.
434
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:07,873
She's gonna have
to face the boys
sooner or later.
435
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,418
And later
is now, okay?
436
00:16:10,494 --> 00:16:12,595
She's going
to school tomorrow.
437
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,514
Hmm, Yeah, you got a point,
438
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:16,924
and she is going back
to school tomorrow.
439
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,426
Thank you.
440
00:16:18,502 --> 00:16:19,969
And for the boys?
441
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,595
They're going
to see Mr. Meanie.
442
00:16:21,672 --> 00:16:24,315
And they're going to make up
for that mess they made.
443
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:30,438
JASON: Great!
Now I'm gonna smell
like soap all day.
444
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:32,115
JORDAN: Come on, guys.
It's not that bad.
445
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:35,401
JASON: Do me
a favor, Snitch.
446
00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:37,528
Don't talk to me.
447
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:38,612
JORDAN: It's not my fault.
448
00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:40,948
My Uncle Bernie breaks me down.
449
00:16:41,025 --> 00:16:42,533
(sighs) He knows
how to make a man talk.
450
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,618
He gets into my head.
He uses tactics.
451
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,912
TODD: Well, I know
how to make a man shut up.
452
00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,122
Now shut up.
453
00:16:48,199 --> 00:16:50,583
MR. MARTIN: Uh, excuse me.
454
00:16:50,659 --> 00:16:53,720
A little less chatter,
a little more elbow.
455
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,725
(bell rings)
456
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,138
Hey, Snitch.
457
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,307
I think I saw someone
run down the hall.
458
00:17:06,383 --> 00:17:08,267
Maybe you wanna
tell your Uncle.
459
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:10,570
See you on the walk home.
460
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,613
But it wasn't my fault.
461
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,649
You know how Uncle Bernie
breaks you down.
462
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,817
(sighs) He uses tactics.
463
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,152
What was I supposed to do?
464
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:20,029
Lie.
465
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,280
All right, back up.
466
00:17:21,357 --> 00:17:22,665
Something might jump out.
467
00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:27,119
Hmm.
468
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:29,547
Maybe they're not
as mad as I thought.
469
00:17:32,076 --> 00:17:33,176
STUDENT: Rat!
470
00:17:36,831 --> 00:17:38,506
Oh...
471
00:17:38,582 --> 00:17:40,099
(car horn honking)
472
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,646
(upbeat music playing)
473
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,020
(grunts)
474
00:17:53,097 --> 00:17:54,605
Hey, what happened to you?
475
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:56,357
Rough day in gym.
476
00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:57,358
Dodgeball.
477
00:17:57,435 --> 00:17:59,193
Took one right in the knee.
478
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:01,412
I don't think I'll be able
to walk home today.
479
00:18:02,439 --> 00:18:04,573
Maybe we need
to check that out.
480
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,992
No, no. I just need
to soak it when I get home.
481
00:18:07,069 --> 00:18:09,787
Hey, what's he doing
in my seat?
482
00:18:09,864 --> 00:18:12,340
Front seat.
483
00:18:19,039 --> 00:18:22,141
(TV chatter)
484
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,731
BOTH: Hey!
485
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,142
Jordan, why you not outside?
486
00:18:31,218 --> 00:18:32,768
You know,
you should be outside playing.
487
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,070
What you stuck in here for?
488
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,230
I'd rather catch up
on my 'toons.
489
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:38,607
WANDA: Hey, guys.
490
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,592
Royal Burgers!
491
00:18:39,669 --> 00:18:41,244
Royal Burger!
Royal Burger!
492
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:49,076
Did you see that boy take out
of here like a bat out of hell?
493
00:18:49,153 --> 00:18:50,911
Leg didn't look hurt to me.
494
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:52,705
Did it to you all, America?
495
00:18:52,781 --> 00:18:56,625
Uh-uh. Hell, no.
496
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:57,635
(chuckles)
497
00:18:59,079 --> 00:19:01,297
That Royal Burger
must work miracles.
498
00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,674
I sure don't see no limp.
499
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:04,925
Oh, uh, yeah.
500
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,260
It comes and goes.
501
00:19:06,337 --> 00:19:10,598
I'm gonna need
a ride home tomorrow, too.
502
00:19:10,674 --> 00:19:12,016
Ow, ow.
503
00:19:12,092 --> 00:19:13,300
Ow!
504
00:19:13,378 --> 00:19:14,902
All right,
give it to me straight.
505
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,437
What's going on
around here?
506
00:19:16,513 --> 00:19:17,288
Who, Snitch?
507
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,430
What are you saying?
508
00:19:18,508 --> 00:19:20,149
That's what everybody
calls him at school
509
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,391
for telling on his friends.
510
00:19:21,469 --> 00:19:24,028
Oh, he'll get over it, trust me.
511
00:19:24,104 --> 00:19:28,073
So I guess
this little thing here
is kind of like gone?
512
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:29,909
VANESSA: Pretty much.
See, Andrew Gumpert
513
00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:31,076
got beat up by his sister
514
00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,161
in front of everyone.
515
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,204
So now the whole school's
516
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:34,588
talking about it.
517
00:19:34,665 --> 00:19:37,374
You got off the hook
kind of nice.
518
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,584
VANESSA: Real nice.
519
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:40,553
(laughs)
520
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:41,712
(laughs)
521
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,472
(upbeat music playing)
522
00:19:47,711 --> 00:19:48,710
Let me in.
523
00:19:50,506 --> 00:19:52,765
I'm not opening
the door, Jordan.
524
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,683
But my leg. Ow.
525
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,102
Look, I know you boys
been making a big deal out
526
00:19:57,179 --> 00:19:58,354
of this snitching thing.
527
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,114
Evidently, snitching runs
528
00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:01,407
in this family.
529
00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:03,451
Hurry. They're coming.
Let me in!
530
00:20:03,527 --> 00:20:05,110
BERNIE: You have
to face those boys.
531
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:08,197
Once you start running,
you'll never stop.
532
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,782
And I'm okay with that.
533
00:20:09,858 --> 00:20:11,492
BERNIE: Jordan,
I'm the one who wanted you
534
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,911
to walk home in the first place
535
00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:15,788
because I wanted you to grow up,
536
00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:19,500
and part of growing up
is facing your fears.
537
00:20:19,576 --> 00:20:21,335
Okay, but if I'm not home
in an hour,
538
00:20:21,412 --> 00:20:23,471
come looking for me, please.
539
00:20:23,547 --> 00:20:25,589
Hey, guys, I got lemonheads.
540
00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:27,183
Who cares, Snitch?
541
00:20:29,378 --> 00:20:31,845
SINGER: ♪ I knowwe can make it work ♪
542
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,974
♪ I know we can make itif we try... ♪
543
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,268
All right, America.
544
00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:39,862
That's probably gonna be
the longest walk home
545
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,563
of Jordan's life.
546
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,024
But also, it's gonna be
a big step forward
547
00:20:44,101 --> 00:20:46,151
to him becoming a man.
548
00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:48,529
Besides, you know how kids are.
549
00:20:48,605 --> 00:20:51,198
They probably just
roughed him up a little bit,
550
00:20:51,275 --> 00:20:52,491
and by the time they get home,
551
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:55,244
they'd be the best
of friends again.
552
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,412
(door opens)
553
00:20:56,488 --> 00:20:57,964
Hey, Jordan, how'd it go?
554
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:02,710
You tell me.
555
00:21:02,786 --> 00:21:04,253
BERNIE: Oh, man,
556
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,588
they'll get over it.
557
00:21:06,665 --> 00:21:08,048
A few days.
558
00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:09,883
A week tops.
559
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,352
Maybe a month.
560
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:15,764
The longest a guy
stopped talking to me,
561
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,391
I think, it was one year.
562
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,059
I asked him for a ride
on his bike.
563
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,811
He said, "My mama said,
'Don't let nobody ride
564
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:21,854
on the bike .'"
565
00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:22,813
I said, "I'm going to the corner
566
00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:23,939
and come back."
567
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,482
I went three blocks.
568
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:28,193
His mother saw me on the bike.
569
00:21:28,270 --> 00:21:30,237
Whopped his behind.
570
00:21:30,314 --> 00:21:32,781
You know, back then,
we had spankings, you know.
571
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,576
That boy wouldn't speak to me
for over a year.
572
00:21:35,652 --> 00:21:36,585
MAN: Cut!
573
00:21:37,913 --> 00:21:39,038
(chuckles)
574
00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:40,881
They something else.
575
00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:49,515
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