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1
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,712
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:25,015
Hey, baby. I'm getting ready
to run to Hunan Chan's.
3
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:27,184
You want something special?
Ooh, Hunan Chan's...
4
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,394
Mm-hmm!
Oh, but the kids want
Royal Burgers.
5
00:00:29,471 --> 00:00:31,146
Oh, people in hell
want ice water.
6
00:00:31,223 --> 00:00:32,397
Don't be like that.
7
00:00:32,474 --> 00:00:35,400
America, you listening to this?
8
00:00:35,477 --> 00:00:37,953
The kids want!
See, sometimes Wanda forgets
9
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:40,030
who's in the driver's seat
around here.
10
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,824
Women do that.
But as far as I'm concerned,
11
00:00:42,901 --> 00:00:44,460
they're going to want
what I give 'em.
12
00:00:44,536 --> 00:00:46,795
You all need to understand
your place.
13
00:00:49,991 --> 00:00:51,675
Hey, sweetheart.
Look.
14
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,127
Roberta's mama's got some
work done. She looks young.
15
00:00:54,204 --> 00:00:56,421
That's not Roberta's ma.
That's Roberta.
16
00:00:56,498 --> 00:00:59,308
No! Driving?
17
00:00:59,384 --> 00:01:02,344
What's she doing
letting her drive?
She must be crazy!
18
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,888
Roberta has her
learner's permit.
19
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,398
Hmm.
20
00:01:09,761 --> 00:01:11,153
When'd she get it?
Today?
21
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:16,566
Yeah! All right.
Hunan Chan's?!
22
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,652
We hate Chan's!
No, you don't.
You love it.
23
00:01:18,728 --> 00:01:20,204
Now, shut up, sit down,
and let's eat.
24
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,489
Why do we always get
the stuff you like?
25
00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:24,324
Because it's my house
and my rules.
26
00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:27,169
And rule number one is shut up,
sit down, and let's eat.
27
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,872
Ew! Those noodles smell
like Uncle Bernie's feet.
28
00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:33,884
Well, look, don't worry,
'cause when I get my
learner's permit,
29
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,669
I'll get the stuff
we like.
30
00:01:35,745 --> 00:01:39,723
"When"? Nessa, I'll decide
if you get your learner's
permit, okay?
31
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,341
But I'm already taking
driver's ed.
32
00:01:41,418 --> 00:01:43,677
So, actually,
Mr. Henderson decides.
33
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:46,304
If Mr. Henderson's teaching
Roberta how to drive,
34
00:01:46,381 --> 00:01:49,099
I'm officially taking you out
of that class as of right now.
35
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:52,236
Now, shut up,
sit down, and let's eat.
36
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,738
Pass me the dumplings
and the chopsticks.
37
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:55,614
Thank you.
38
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,610
I don't care if she pouts.
Let her go ahead.
39
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,405
She needs to know
who's in charge around here.
40
00:02:03,481 --> 00:02:05,073
Especially when
they get to be teenagers.
41
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,868
That's when you've got to knock
them down a couple times.
42
00:02:07,944 --> 00:02:09,911
Get to be too snotty for me.
43
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,121
But I'm going
to tell you something.
44
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,956
Bernie Mac knows
what he's doing.
45
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,332
I'm the man.
46
00:02:14,409 --> 00:02:16,376
See, they want to wear
the slacks, you know?
47
00:02:16,453 --> 00:02:18,545
They want to have the belt
and everything, you know.
48
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:23,717
Huh! And boy...
world coming to an end.
49
00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:27,179
Well, you know she just needs
50 hours of driving practice.
50
00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:29,973
I think it's exciting,
getting your learner's permit.
51
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,067
It's a rite of passage.
52
00:02:32,144 --> 00:02:32,976
Rite of passage?
53
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,644
Mm-hmm.
54
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:35,903
What?
55
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,815
It's a rite to pay
more car insurance.
56
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,233
Pay for more
parking tickets,
57
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:41,777
get more dents fixed.
58
00:02:41,853 --> 00:02:44,196
It's a right pain in the
ass, that's what it is.
59
00:02:44,272 --> 00:02:46,072
Well, it doesn't
have to be like that.
60
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,749
I could teach her.
61
00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:57,167
You know what, America?
That is a bad idea.
62
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,719
'Cause when it comes to driving,
63
00:02:58,795 --> 00:03:01,972
my baby, Wanda, isn't
exactly a model citizen.
64
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,308
No, it ain't just me
saying it, either.
65
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:07,093
The State of California
says it, too.
66
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:09,554
She's got a lead foot, huh.
67
00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:10,939
Two of 'em!
68
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,724
And this is just last month.
69
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:16,353
My baby can't drive, y'all.
She's hell on wheels.
70
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,521
Now, her and Nessa
in the car together,
71
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:21,608
that's just 50 hours
of misinformation.
72
00:03:21,685 --> 00:03:24,778
Take a look. Examine.
Take your time.
73
00:03:24,854 --> 00:03:27,197
When you pull up to a red light
and look over,
74
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,833
and you see my baby,
get the hell out the way.
75
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,452
You know what, sweetheart?
I changed my mind.
76
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,663
I'm gonna teach
Nessa how to drive.
77
00:03:34,739 --> 00:03:36,039
You will?
Yeah.
78
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,707
Baby, you've got
a lot on your plate.
79
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,376
Hmm.
You've got work.
You get home late,
80
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,378
take your time
to fix your hair.
81
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:43,463
Let me ease you of
some of your burden.
82
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:44,839
Okay, let's go tell her.
83
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,008
No, no, no, no.
I'll show you
how you do it.
84
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,052
Yo, Nessa!
What?
85
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,762
Don't "what" me!
Come here!
86
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:53,765
Yelling from room to room
like she's in charge.
87
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:57,227
The next 50 hours, she's going
to get her head straight.
88
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,104
We start first thing
in the morning.
89
00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:00,272
Okay.
90
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,148
Nessa, It's going to be fun.
91
00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:03,608
Okay.
92
00:04:03,685 --> 00:04:05,193
You're welcome.
93
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:08,330
Oh, yeah.
Sorry. Thanks.
94
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,408
I just figured it out.
What's that?
95
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,952
This has nothing to do
with my busy schedule.
96
00:04:14,029 --> 00:04:16,037
It doesn't?
No.
97
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:20,041
This is about Daddy wanting
to teach the little girl
how to drive.
98
00:04:20,118 --> 00:04:21,885
Aw, I think
it's sweet.
Oh!
99
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,086
(chuckles)
100
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,254
(giggling)
101
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,388
Can't fool you.
102
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,307
Oh, when you
gonna learn that?
103
00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:39,561
Uh-uh. Oh...
104
00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:41,813
Huh! You just failed
right there.
105
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,940
What?
You checked
the rearview mirror,
106
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,425
but you didn't check
the side mirror.
107
00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,402
You got to check the side mirror
to see what's going on.
108
00:04:47,479 --> 00:04:48,620
You failed right there.
109
00:04:48,697 --> 00:04:50,330
You know,
this is not fun at all.
110
00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:52,916
Nessa, it's not supposed
to be fun, this is serious.
111
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,744
Serious as a heart attack,
or total paralysis,
112
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:58,422
or contapitation
of a head-on collision.
113
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,364
Okay, I get it!
114
00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:00,665
Well, you need to focus, then!
115
00:05:00,742 --> 00:05:01,883
Focus and quit yapping.
116
00:05:02,577 --> 00:05:04,011
What?!
117
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:09,933
Phone call.
118
00:05:11,086 --> 00:05:13,178
Oh, by the way,
you might want
to turn the car on.
119
00:05:13,254 --> 00:05:15,930
Wanda, I'm the teacher here.
120
00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:18,608
Chillax, and let me do
my thing, please!
121
00:05:20,428 --> 00:05:22,446
Ow! Watch it, Vanessa!
122
00:05:23,732 --> 00:05:25,148
Boy, you lost
your doggone mind,
123
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,624
jumping on top
of that car?!
124
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,027
You happy now?
You just killed
your brother.
125
00:05:29,104 --> 00:05:31,488
You failed your driving
exam right there.
126
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:35,208
Go on in the house, boy,
if you got some sense.
127
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:37,535
...trying to tell you.
I hope you plan on studying
128
00:05:37,612 --> 00:05:39,662
for that pop quiz I got for you,
129
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:42,582
'cause Nessa,
if you fail, ooh,
130
00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:45,126
that car ain't gonna be
turned on till Christmas.
131
00:05:45,203 --> 00:05:47,212
Little ingrate. I'm out there
putting myself in harm's way...
132
00:05:47,288 --> 00:05:49,381
I think you're being
a little hard on her.
133
00:05:49,457 --> 00:05:52,592
What do you mean?
Why don't I help you out
a little bit with this?
134
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:56,137
I don't need your help.
Thank you!
135
00:05:56,214 --> 00:05:58,890
What's that
supposed to mean?
What?
136
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,633
I know you're not
going to stand there
137
00:06:00,711 --> 00:06:03,695
and give me that old
women-don't-know-how-
to-drive thing, are you?
138
00:06:03,772 --> 00:06:06,773
Okay, then, let me update it.
139
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:08,075
You can't drive!
140
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,901
I'm a good driver.
141
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:13,538
(giggling)
142
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:18,576
That might have been
a little too much--
143
00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:19,961
just a little bit.
144
00:06:21,656 --> 00:06:23,382
But it's true.
145
00:06:25,836 --> 00:06:28,920
(humming)
146
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:31,840
Hey, y'all.
Hunan Chan's again?
147
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:33,341
You're doggone
right, boy.
148
00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:35,468
You know we don't waste no food
up in this house.
149
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:36,928
Who's this?
150
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,763
(burping) James.
151
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:41,525
Cover your mouth, James.
(giggling)
152
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,318
Oh, I love spareribs!
153
00:06:43,395 --> 00:06:45,228
You're welcome.
154
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,105
Chan's is the best.
Thanks, Mr. Mac.
155
00:06:47,182 --> 00:06:49,399
You're welcome, James.
156
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:50,450
Come on, son, eat.
157
00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:55,330
Baby, here's some chow mein.
158
00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:57,782
Why? You don't think
I could do that, either?
159
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:01,744
Aw, come on.
You still stewing
about this morning?
160
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,788
About me teasing you
about your driving?
161
00:07:03,865 --> 00:07:06,291
I'm just busting
you a little bit,
but I was being honest.
162
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,301
Ah, well, since we're
just being honest...
163
00:07:08,378 --> 00:07:11,045
Mm-hm...
...the reason why you
don't get any tickets
164
00:07:11,122 --> 00:07:13,390
when you get stopped
is because you pull that
165
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,091
"I'm Bernie Mac, what's
happening, Officer...?"
166
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,384
Aw, no, that ain't true.
167
00:07:16,461 --> 00:07:18,261
"Oh, I'm Bernie Mac.
I'm famous."
168
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,929
I do not...
"Would you like
a picture of me?"
169
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,307
Aw, you need to stop that.
You know what?
170
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,850
You're just mad 'cause I'm
a better driver than you.
171
00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:26,060
Oh, this has nothing
to do with being
a better driver.
172
00:07:26,137 --> 00:07:28,196
What?
This is about you,
my brother,
173
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,190
wanting to be in control.
Control of what, Wanda?
174
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,984
You choose when
Vanessa drives,
who teaches her...
175
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,452
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
176
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,321
...what we eat for dinner,
where we eat for dinner...
177
00:07:36,397 --> 00:07:38,823
No.
...and what movie we
watch after dinner.
178
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,024
Uncle Bernie, James is sick!
179
00:07:40,102 --> 00:07:42,452
Oh, yeah, no kidding!
All that food he ate.
180
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,622
I guess it didn't help
if you fed him that
old Chinese food.
181
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,190
Chinese food don't get old.
182
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,167
That's why it got
all that MSG in there.
It don't get old.
183
00:07:49,244 --> 00:07:50,710
Well, I think you
should take him home.
184
00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:51,803
I'm not taking
that boy home.
185
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,305
Forget about it.
I'm not doing it.
186
00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:55,340
Okay, well, fine.
I'll take him home.
Good.
187
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:58,009
Hey, you know Jordan's friend
is out there getting sick.
188
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,636
Yeah.
Yeah, we're going
to take him home.
189
00:07:59,712 --> 00:08:00,803
Oh, can I drive?
190
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,223
No.
Sure. Why not?
191
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,958
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
192
00:08:05,035 --> 00:08:06,985
How the heck you going
to take a sick boy home
and watch her drive?
193
00:08:07,062 --> 00:08:09,112
You need to focus on her.
No, no, no, no, no.
194
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,648
Okay, you know what? Fine!
Do what you want, Bernie.
195
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,024
That's what
I'm going to do.
196
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:15,610
Come on. Come on.
(James retching)
197
00:08:15,687 --> 00:08:17,195
Where he at?
198
00:08:17,272 --> 00:08:19,122
(groans)
Hold on, son.
199
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,415
We'll have you home
in a few minutes.
200
00:08:20,492 --> 00:08:23,034
If you got to heave again,
if you got to barf,
201
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:24,569
open the door
and stick your head out.
202
00:08:24,646 --> 00:08:26,421
Don't worry about falling out.
The seat-belt'll hold you up.
203
00:08:26,498 --> 00:08:27,830
Okay?
(groans)
204
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,634
Oh. You keep your hands
ten to two.
205
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,795
Not 1:15, not 12:15,
not 11:30.
206
00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:35,505
You keep it ten to two.
You know what?
207
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:38,216
You just failed your doggone
driving exam again.
208
00:08:38,293 --> 00:08:40,093
Just failed
it again.
Stop yelling at me!
209
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,853
I'm not yelling. I'm trying
to teach you something.
210
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:44,264
Well, you're
making me nervous!
You're making me nervous!
211
00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:46,391
You're going to get us
all killed with those hands!
212
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:47,800
You know what?
213
00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:49,644
You don't want to learn
how to drive right, forget it.
214
00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:52,405
I can't take
this anymore.
You can't...?
215
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,235
You know what? You just failed
your driver's test again!
216
00:08:57,312 --> 00:08:59,153
You failed it again.
217
00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:01,322
(siren blaring)
218
00:09:01,399 --> 00:09:04,993
Look at that!
You got the law here!
219
00:09:05,069 --> 00:09:06,478
Yeah. You ain't
hiding nothing.
220
00:09:06,554 --> 00:09:07,870
You ain't got nothing
on you, do you?
221
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,622
Would you look at this, America?
222
00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:13,251
Driving a sick kid home, and I
get pulled over by the police.
223
00:09:13,328 --> 00:09:16,254
I don't have to tell you what
that means for a black man.
224
00:09:16,331 --> 00:09:17,889
I don't have to tell you.
225
00:09:17,966 --> 00:09:19,599
I'm going down.
226
00:09:21,002 --> 00:09:22,927
License and
registration, please.
227
00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:26,472
Uh... all I have
is my permit.
228
00:09:26,549 --> 00:09:28,349
Then I'm going to have
to see your license, sir.
229
00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:30,184
No problem, Officer.
How you doing, man?
230
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,494
Fine, thanks.
231
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,238
Man, it's beautiful
out here today, ain't it?
232
00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:34,522
My favorite time
of the year.
233
00:09:34,599 --> 00:09:37,358
Yeah. There you go.
234
00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:39,077
The name on there
is Bernard McCullough,
235
00:09:39,154 --> 00:09:41,288
but people know me
as Bernie Mac.
236
00:09:41,364 --> 00:09:43,781
Yeah!
237
00:09:43,858 --> 00:09:45,908
This says "Officer Appel,"
but most people know me
238
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,910
as the cop who hides
behind that bush.
239
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,671
By the way, your
license is expired.
240
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,290
That's some bull, America!
241
00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:54,000
Taking my license!
242
00:09:54,077 --> 00:09:56,044
This is some cruel
and unusual punishment.
243
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,929
Now they're going
to tow my car home.
244
00:09:58,006 --> 00:09:59,881
How the heck
I'm supposed to get home?
245
00:09:59,957 --> 00:10:01,591
They're going to tow my car.
246
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:03,393
(mutters)
247
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,858
(music playing)
248
00:10:19,727 --> 00:10:22,987
America, there's something
really wrong with the system
249
00:10:23,064 --> 00:10:24,364
when Bernie Mac
can get into trouble
250
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,491
just by sitting next to
a pea-brained girl
251
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:28,576
who ain't got
no doggone good sense.
252
00:10:28,653 --> 00:10:30,495
Now I got to wait
till Monday morning
253
00:10:30,571 --> 00:10:33,206
to go to the DMV
to get my license back.
254
00:10:33,282 --> 00:10:35,383
(chuckles)
255
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:41,172
Ready?
Yeah.
256
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,382
So, where
do you want to go?
257
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:43,766
Where you all going?
258
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,093
I'm taking Vanessa out
for a driving lesson.
259
00:10:45,169 --> 00:10:46,460
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait, baby.
260
00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:48,763
No, no, no.
I'm the teacher.
That's my job.
261
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:51,516
Oh, you know what, honey?
I'd love that.
262
00:10:51,592 --> 00:10:54,727
But I think-- and Vanessa,
correct me if I'm wrong--
263
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:57,397
in order to be in a car
with a student driver,
264
00:10:57,473 --> 00:11:00,441
you need someone
with a valid license.
265
00:11:00,518 --> 00:11:03,111
Yeah, she's-she's right.
Oh, look at that.
266
00:11:03,187 --> 00:11:04,578
Well, what am I
supposed to do?
267
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:07,699
Um, stay here and study
for your driving test.
268
00:11:07,775 --> 00:11:09,367
Come on. Hey-hey,
Wanda? Hey...
269
00:11:09,444 --> 00:11:12,620
Hey, Nessa, ca-can I go?
No!
270
00:11:12,697 --> 00:11:15,289
But I got to pick some stuff up
from the drugstore.
271
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:16,758
Like what?
272
00:11:18,327 --> 00:11:20,512
Some... personal male products.
273
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,673
All right, you can come,
274
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,259
but you've got to promise
to sit in the back seat
275
00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:28,353
and accept
I'm in charge.
276
00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:30,772
Yeah, I promise.
277
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,311
Slow down, Nessa.
278
00:11:37,388 --> 00:11:38,822
Baby, aren't you going to tell
her to slow down?
279
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,148
She is.
280
00:11:40,224 --> 00:11:42,483
A good driver know how
to slow down real fast.
281
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,827
In order to be a good driver
282
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,154
you got to be able
to slow down real fast.
283
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:48,656
A good driver also
doesn't get pulled over.
284
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,834
You are doing fine,
Vanessa.
285
00:11:51,903 --> 00:11:53,453
Oh, you call this fine?
286
00:11:53,529 --> 00:11:55,288
No wonder you got
a lot of tickets.
287
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,415
At least I have my
driver's license.
288
00:11:57,492 --> 00:11:59,008
Don't go there.
289
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,210
The light is green, Vanessa.
290
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,228
When you're ready.
291
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,506
Don't mash on the gas so hard
292
00:12:05,583 --> 00:12:07,350
like you mashing on bugs
or something.
293
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,077
You're giving me
whiplash back here.
294
00:12:09,153 --> 00:12:13,773
Well, if you sit
back in your seat
like a normal passenger,
295
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,475
then maybe you wouldn't
strain your neck.
296
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,726
All right, fine.
297
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,728
I ain't gonna say another word.
298
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,438
Stop right here.
Stop right here.
299
00:12:20,515 --> 00:12:21,489
Go, go, go, go!
300
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:22,866
Brake, brake, brake!
301
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,609
Watch it! Brake, brake!
302
00:12:24,685 --> 00:12:26,194
Put your blinkers on. Blinkers!
303
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:27,737
Be careful. Be careful.
304
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,989
Girl, stay in your lane.
Stay in your lane!
305
00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:32,658
Look out, look out,
look out, look out!
306
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:33,418
Watch it!
307
00:12:33,495 --> 00:12:35,628
You're... you're killin' me.
308
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:40,383
Aunt Wanda, I don't
want to drive anymore.
309
00:12:42,378 --> 00:12:43,711
I hope you're happy.
310
00:12:43,788 --> 00:12:46,631
Sure is. Got home
in one piece. Yep.
311
00:12:46,707 --> 00:12:48,883
You didn't do anything
but yell and scream
the whole time.
312
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,285
I yelled one time.
313
00:12:50,361 --> 00:12:52,053
I screamed when I thought
we was gonna die.
314
00:12:52,129 --> 00:12:55,139
Well, I'm going
to teach Vanessa
to drive-- alone.
315
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:58,059
From now on, you are
officially banned
from the car.
316
00:12:58,135 --> 00:13:00,937
What...?
Banned.
317
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,647
She can't ban me.
318
00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:05,066
I'm the one who do all
the bannin' around here.
319
00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,819
I'm suppose to be the one
in charge of this operation.
320
00:13:07,895 --> 00:13:10,863
Y'all heard her when she
talking about, "You banned."
321
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,064
I'm buying the car.
322
00:13:12,142 --> 00:13:13,783
All the real men at home,
you know that.
323
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:16,753
You know what's going on.
I tear that car up...
324
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:20,206
See, I'm going to get letters.
325
00:13:20,283 --> 00:13:21,791
Hey, Jerry, man,
look, this is Mac.
326
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,376
I ain't going to be able to meet
you at The Palm, man.
327
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:24,877
(indistinct)
328
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,546
I can't get there, they took
my license from me.
329
00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:27,722
I ain't got no way to get there.
330
00:13:27,799 --> 00:13:28,723
(indistinct)
331
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:29,974
How many times
I'm gonna tell you?
332
00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:31,175
(indistinct)
333
00:13:31,252 --> 00:13:32,702
I know it's Martin Scorsese.
334
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,054
I'd like to meet him, too,
but I can't. I ain't got no way.
335
00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:36,714
(indistinct)
336
00:13:36,791 --> 00:13:38,099
Well, I tell you what, why don't
you bring him over here?
337
00:13:38,175 --> 00:13:39,533
(indistinct)
338
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,236
Oh, what you mean he don't want
to come to Encino?
339
00:13:41,312 --> 00:13:43,187
(indistinct)
340
00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:45,189
All right, then, all right.
341
00:13:45,266 --> 00:13:47,942
I'll catch a cab. Yeah.
342
00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:49,619
(music playing)
343
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,946
Yo, man, where you been?
344
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,531
(line ringing)
Dang.
345
00:13:53,608 --> 00:13:54,824
(indistinct)
346
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,617
Hey, hey, Jerry,
I'm on my way.
347
00:13:56,694 --> 00:13:58,286
(indistinct)
What?
348
00:13:58,362 --> 00:13:59,370
(indistinct)
349
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:00,371
What you mean he gone?
350
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,622
Not waiting all day, dawg.
351
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:02,999
Man, I told you to stall him.
352
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:04,266
(indistinct)
353
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,219
What you mean how?
Give him two desserts.
354
00:14:06,296 --> 00:14:07,378
(indistinct)
355
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:08,880
Oh, Je...
356
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:11,182
Go on, man, go on.
357
00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:12,216
Dang!
358
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,176
(cell phone rings)
359
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:15,261
Hello. Mac.
360
00:14:15,338 --> 00:14:16,387
WOMAN: Bernie, where are you?
361
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,347
Oh, hey, Mama Kim, girl.
362
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,932
I completely forgot
about that nail ap...
363
00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:21,058
KIM: You forget?
364
00:14:21,135 --> 00:14:22,685
Hold on, hold on. Yo!
365
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,437
(indistinct)
Hey, cabbie!
366
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:26,522
(indistinct)
367
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,400
Mama Kim, hey, don't worry,
I'm on my way. I...
368
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,819
(indistinct)
369
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,112
Hello?
370
00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:35,123
Watch how you talking to me.
Mama Kim, wa...
371
00:14:36,025 --> 00:14:37,041
Hello?
372
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:42,330
Big fella, yo, yo, good, man.
373
00:14:42,406 --> 00:14:43,831
Do me a favor, man.
Run over here, man,
374
00:14:43,908 --> 00:14:45,750
and run me down to Mama Kim
in Korean Town,
375
00:14:45,826 --> 00:14:47,251
man, so I can get my nails done.
376
00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:48,669
You kiddin' me?
What?
377
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,004
Why don't you do that at home?
378
00:14:50,081 --> 00:14:51,172
Why don't I do what?
379
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:52,806
(indistinct)
380
00:14:52,884 --> 00:14:54,717
Man, you know... How long you
been knowing me, man?
381
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,344
You know I don't do
my own nails.
382
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:58,220
Come on, run me over here,
man, come on.
383
00:14:58,297 --> 00:14:59,972
(indistinct)
384
00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:01,557
Hello?
(dial tone)
385
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,517
Okay, here you go.
386
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,969
Thank you, sir.
387
00:15:05,046 --> 00:15:07,188
Brother, you sure you can't
run me down to Korean Town?
388
00:15:07,264 --> 00:15:09,482
Come on, now.
Hmm-mm.
389
00:15:09,558 --> 00:15:10,691
Can't do it?
390
00:15:10,768 --> 00:15:13,945
Nah. No way,
brother.
Thanks.
391
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:17,615
I'm telling you, baby,
my whole day discombobulated.
392
00:15:17,692 --> 00:15:19,867
Sweetheart, I miss
my meeting with
Martin Scorsese.
393
00:15:19,944 --> 00:15:21,669
What?
Yeah, I missed it.
394
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,955
Then I missed my appointment
with Mama Kim.
395
00:15:24,031 --> 00:15:25,331
Oh, she was tight.
396
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,041
She cussed me out
in Korean.
397
00:15:27,118 --> 00:15:29,669
(babbling)
398
00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:31,846
Oh, she cussed me out,
I'm telling you.
399
00:15:31,923 --> 00:15:34,098
It was awful.
400
00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:35,508
What...
401
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:37,259
Sweetheart, what...
hold on, what is this?
402
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,428
This ain't what I ordered.
This stuff is all green.
403
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:40,730
Yeah, it's from
Wild Oats Organic.
404
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,974
Wild Oats Organic?
Mm-hmm.
405
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,643
What happened to my sweet-
and-tangy ribs, Wanda?
406
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,229
My beans, my cornbread,
my sweet-and-sour sauce?
407
00:15:48,305 --> 00:15:49,371
What happened to all that?
408
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,797
That's what I'm talking about.
Come on.
409
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:54,068
Oh... honey, you know
what, you're right.
410
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:56,445
Well, why don't you take
this back to Wild Oats
411
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:57,530
and go pick up
what you would like.
412
00:15:57,606 --> 00:15:58,781
Cool. No problem.
413
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:01,742
Oh, there I go again.
What?
414
00:16:01,819 --> 00:16:04,212
I just can't remember.
You can't drive.
415
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:07,415
(laughs)
416
00:16:07,491 --> 00:16:09,092
You didn't have go there.
417
00:16:14,966 --> 00:16:18,142
America, what you have just seen
is not pretty.
418
00:16:18,219 --> 00:16:21,554
I have completely lost control
of this whole situation.
419
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,164
I tell you one thing, though.
420
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:26,767
The Mac Man needs to get back
into the driver's seat. Yeah.
421
00:16:26,844 --> 00:16:28,769
(Stevie Wonder:
"I Ain't Gonna Stand
for It" playing)
422
00:16:28,846 --> 00:16:31,614
♪ And I ain't gonnastand for it, baby ♪
423
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,785
♪ And I ain't gonna standfor it, baby ♪
424
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:40,123
♪ And I ain't gonnastand for it, baby ♪
425
00:16:41,358 --> 00:16:43,334
♪ Now ♪♪ Now ♪
426
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:49,373
♪ And I ain't gonna standfor it, baby... ♪
427
00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:50,675
Sit.
428
00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:52,626
Hey, how you doing?
429
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,295
Wrong line.
430
00:16:54,371 --> 00:16:55,629
What?
431
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,432
Wrong line. This
is the blue line.
432
00:16:57,508 --> 00:16:59,200
You're the red line.
Next.
433
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:01,761
Wait, wait, wait, man.
I was already in the red line.
434
00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:03,146
They told me to come
to the blue line.
435
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,264
Now, why would he tell me
to come to the blue line?
436
00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:06,699
I don't know, sir.
437
00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:08,476
I am not in charge
of your problems.
438
00:17:08,552 --> 00:17:11,312
I'm not either.
Next.
439
00:17:11,388 --> 00:17:14,157
Come on, now, I've been
standing a long time, man.
440
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,159
I know, I understand, sir.
441
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,488
Can I talk
to your supervisor?
442
00:17:20,564 --> 00:17:22,406
The supervisor is around, sir,
443
00:17:22,483 --> 00:17:24,825
but I am helping
this customer now.
444
00:17:24,902 --> 00:17:28,329
And so you need to maybe
go over to the red line.
445
00:17:28,405 --> 00:17:29,413
Where you from?
446
00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:30,423
I am from
the islands.
447
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,841
You should go
to the island.
448
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,761
Thank you.
449
00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:37,180
T...
450
00:17:37,998 --> 00:17:38,931
M...
451
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:41,217
N...
452
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:42,843
That look like a Q.
453
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,514
And that's either F
or a little man waving.
454
00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:50,017
All right. That's money, baby.
455
00:17:50,094 --> 00:17:51,986
(chuckles)
456
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:55,106
Here you go.
Thank you, baby.
457
00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:56,315
Next!
458
00:17:56,392 --> 00:17:57,483
Ho, wait, wait,
wait, sister.
459
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:58,609
This say "failed."
460
00:17:58,686 --> 00:17:59,860
Really?
Yeah.
461
00:17:59,937 --> 00:18:01,278
I'm surprised
you can read it.
462
00:18:01,355 --> 00:18:03,531
Oh, come on, come on, now.
This is important to me.
463
00:18:03,607 --> 00:18:05,032
I got to try
and get my license back.
464
00:18:05,109 --> 00:18:07,618
I'm sure you do,
but you failed. Next!
465
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,204
Come on, wait, mama,
how you going to live?
466
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,540
What I got to do? Anything.
What I got to do?
467
00:18:12,616 --> 00:18:15,709
You need change
for the bus? Next!
468
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,170
Oh, you real funny. You know,
Bozo died years ago.
469
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:20,714
You know that, don't you?
But you look just like him.
470
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,893
See, see, I was going
to give you my phone number.
471
00:18:25,588 --> 00:18:27,355
Your vision has definitely
gotten worse.
472
00:18:27,431 --> 00:18:30,483
You're gonna need a stronger
prescription for your glasses.
473
00:18:31,635 --> 00:18:35,312
Wow. Everything's blurry.
474
00:18:35,389 --> 00:18:36,388
Yeah, that's normal.
475
00:18:36,466 --> 00:18:38,858
The drops cause
your pupils to dilate.
476
00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:42,736
Oh, and, you're going
to have to wear these.
477
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,196
Right here.
What?
478
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:46,240
Right here,
in my hand.
Oh.
479
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,333
There you go.
480
00:18:49,278 --> 00:18:51,129
Oh, great.
481
00:18:52,489 --> 00:18:54,039
Now I can't see nothing.
482
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,875
I can't take my driver exam.
483
00:18:55,951 --> 00:18:57,793
I can't drive myself home.
484
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,753
I'm going to have to rely on
everybody else.
485
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,089
What's next?
Uh, Mr. Mac?
486
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:05,226
Huh?
Mr. Mac, I'm-I'm over here.
487
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:09,147
Dang, Doc, I'm falling apart.
488
00:19:09,223 --> 00:19:10,514
(sighs)
489
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:12,349
Am I legally blind?
490
00:19:12,426 --> 00:19:13,776
Well, no...
491
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,645
Huh? You think
I need a dog?
492
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,564
Cane?
493
00:19:18,641 --> 00:19:20,733
Shoot. I'm half-blind,
494
00:19:20,809 --> 00:19:24,111
I ain't got no license,
I got a hangnail.
495
00:19:24,188 --> 00:19:25,613
Ever since this girl
got her learning permit
496
00:19:25,689 --> 00:19:28,115
it's been downhill for me.
497
00:19:28,192 --> 00:19:29,959
Baby, are you even
listening to me?
498
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,503
WANDA: Oh, yes.
Kind of hard not to.
499
00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:39,302
Hey, baby, ain't nothing
going my way today.
500
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:40,628
I mean, nothing.
501
00:19:40,704 --> 00:19:42,555
♪ And I ain't gonnastand for it, baby ♪
502
00:19:43,999 --> 00:19:45,633
♪ And I ain't gonnastand for it, baby ♪
503
00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:47,101
(shuts off car)
504
00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:51,230
♪ Now ♪♪ Now ♪
505
00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:56,986
♪ Now ♪♪ Now ♪
506
00:19:58,347 --> 00:19:59,197
Nessa?
507
00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:01,523
She drove us all the way home.
508
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,816
On the freeway?
509
00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:04,985
That's right,
and you did great.
510
00:20:05,062 --> 00:20:07,821
And you didn't yell
the whole time.
511
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:08,772
Thanks, Aunt Wanda.
512
00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:10,324
You're welcome.
Let me out.
513
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:12,960
Yeah, okay, but don't get
no doggone ideas.
514
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:14,495
Just because
you did it one time
515
00:20:14,571 --> 00:20:15,996
don't mean you gonna
do it again.
516
00:20:16,073 --> 00:20:17,239
And, Wanda, you know better.
517
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,333
Next time she drive
you ride in the front seat
518
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,392
so you can go first.
519
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,220
Oh, stop your griping
and get out.
520
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,188
You may be
a better driver,
521
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,006
but I think I'm
a better teacher.
522
00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:27,883
Come on, baby,
don't start with me.
I'm all weak.
523
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,718
Okay, let me give you a hand.
524
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,345
I'll help you, too.
525
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:32,355
Thank you.
526
00:20:33,757 --> 00:20:35,975
Oh, sorry.
Watch your step.
527
00:20:36,051 --> 00:20:37,601
You did that on purpose.
528
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:39,153
I did not.
529
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,565
Come on, honey,
balance, balance.
530
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:46,694
Watch my step? I can't see.
531
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,988
One of you help me
walk to the house.
532
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,739
But you know what, America?
533
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,375
Hey, she did a good job.
534
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:55,202
She can drive,
but she ain't driving my car,
535
00:20:55,279 --> 00:20:56,745
and she ain't getting her own.
536
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:59,540
You know why?
Because I'm in control.
537
00:20:59,616 --> 00:21:04,211
(music playing)
538
00:21:04,288 --> 00:21:08,140
Wanda? I could use some help.
539
00:21:14,965 --> 00:21:16,307
And what's that
supposed to mean?
540
00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:18,392
And don't you stand there
541
00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:21,312
acting like whatever--
what is it?
542
00:21:21,388 --> 00:21:23,814
Little ingrate.
I'm out there putting myself
543
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:26,108
in harm's way and everything.
544
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:27,418
You know what?
Maybe you're being--
545
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:28,902
I think you're being
a little hard on her.
546
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:31,488
I'm out there putting
myself in harm's way.
547
00:21:31,565 --> 00:21:33,157
You're being a
little hard on her.
548
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,242
Wanda, I'm trying
to teach that...
549
00:21:35,319 --> 00:21:37,494
Wanda, I'm trying to teach
that girl to ri...
550
00:21:37,571 --> 00:21:39,580
That little ingrate.
551
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,707
(laughter)
552
00:21:41,784 --> 00:21:44,552
(indistinct chatter)
553
00:21:49,625 --> 00:21:50,558
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