Original subtitles

[opening theme music playing]

[wind blowing]

You hear that wind, America?

Here in Southern California, we call that the Santa Anas.

They blow in hot from the desert,

stirring up dust,

starting wildfires.

Some people say it's a sign of an earthquake coming.

The Santa Anas just shake things up.

Oh, America, I can feel it.

A force of nature coming that I have no control over.

A force of nature.

Listen.

[wind blowing]

There you are.

-Um, Uncle Bernie? -Yeah.

I'd like to make a proposal.

You're not getting a cell phone.

-At least hear her out, honey. -All righty.

Let me hear you. Come on.

Okay. The cell phone would only be for emergencies.

Mm-hmm.

Like if I was out with my friends and couldn't make it home

in time for curfew, you wouldn't have to worry.

Wow.

I have to admit she makes a strong argument.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

But this is where it falls apart, Nessa.

First of all, you won't be out late.

And if you are, you the one that need to worry.

Doggone wind. What the…

Excuse me one minute. Oh.

[wind howling]

This doggone wind!

Hey, big brother!

Look what the wind blew in! B!

Whoo, whoo, whoo.

What the hell you doing here?

I got to have a reason to come see my people?

Come here, come here, girl.

-Hi, honey. -Oh… B.

Let me get this. Come on.

Hey. Hey, look who came in!

-Hi. -Aunt Bonita!

Oh, Bryana, look at you

with your teeth all in.

Let me see it.

Whoo! Who are you?

-The man of steel? -I am.

I even have a cape.

All you have to do now is get a job,

and them ladies will be all over you.

[gasps] Look at this one.

Ooh! She's so pretty.

And you so grown up!

What are you now, honey?

A supermodel?

-Shawanda! -Hey.

Come on, girl.

Whoo, whoo, whoo.

Whoo.

[laughs]

Would you like something to eat?

I know that ain't swine.

Yeah.

It's pork chops.

Hook me up.

Get you a chair.

Come on in here, girl.

It's my sister here.

See what I'm saying about those Santa Anas?

My baby sister Bonita.

She's a force of nature, all right.

And you know the saying.

Keeping it real?

Oh, she's the genuine thing.

She's a little on the wild side, but she's all Mac.

Back in the day, we had some good times.

America, I'm so glad to see her.

I miss her.

[chuckles]

Mmm.

So, here I am.,

I'm sitting at the Juarez border.

Six illegals in the back of my Datsun Honey Bee,

a hundred dollar bill poking out of my passport,

waiting on the man to check my trunk.

And I think to myself,

"Girl, what are you doing

taking care of Lupe and her family

when you got your own family?"

Okay? Y'all are my family.

So here I am.

So, are you thinking about moving to LA?

Mm-hmm.

It might be time to go in and put some roots down.

Plus, I like being near Stacey's kids.

Ooh, I miss that.

I know.

-Yeah. -So, why don't you stay here?

For what?

[laughs] Live here?

Bernard don't want me living up in his house.

I'll take care of my baby.

You're family.

Come, come on now. Come… [coughs] Come on now, baby.

Let… let her speak her mind now.

Don't listen to him, Bonita.

You stay here as long as you need to.

Of course you can. We family. I don't mind you staying here.

But you ain't got no illegals in your trunk, do you?

Illegal what?

[laughing]

I'm going to go to bed. I'll let y'all catch up.

All right, baby. All right.

-[laughing] -You laugh at all the jokes.

America, here all you need to know about my baby sister.

This one time, she was about 14 years old,

you know, acting the fool,

sassing Big Mama about her curfew.

Big Mama said, "When you have a child,

you can make up all your own rules."

Three hours later, she came back with a baby.

It wasn't hers. She just borrowed it from a friend

just to make a point.

She handed the baby to Big Mama and said,

"I'll be home when I'll be home."

Big Mama beat her down.

She was laughing the whole time, though, but she beat her down.

That girl is crazy. She…

I don't know if the baby ever went back.

-Okay, now you making stuff up. -That's all right.

I'm going to make it up in the morning. I can't drink no more of this.

Mmm. Uh-uh. Wait a minute, the morning?

-Look, the bar is still open. -Uh-uh. Come on, B.

I can't do that no more. I'm a different life now.

-I need my eight hours. -Mmm, mmm. Bernard!

-Oh. -Come on. Bonita's in town.

And how often do you get to party with your baby sister

and the Captain?

Mmm. Come on now.

Come on now.

-[grunting] -Oh.

All right, all right.

Come on. Just a little more. Just a little more.

-Just a little more. That's it. -That's what I'm talking about.

-Come on now. -"Come on now."

I'm going to be in a coma in the morning.

There you go, baby.

Aunt Bonita, can you come to my play?

You're in a play?

What play is it?

Snow White. I play a squirrel.

I wanted to be Snow White, but I wasn't good enough.

Please. It's not 'cause you wasn't good enough.

You ain't white enough.

They ain't going to let a little Black girl be Snow White.

-I'm brown. -You Black.

And Snow White is white, right?

They got a little white girl playing her?

No! Melanie's playing her.

Is she white?

Yes.

All right, then.

Why are you letting me oversleep like that?

Wake you up. I got to take you to school.

Call your brother and sister. Come on.

Jordan!

Vanessa!

Good morning, Miss Nefko. How you doing?

Oh, Mr. Mac. Good to see you.

Good to be seen. Here's your star squirrel.

There's Melanie.

Melanie's Snow White.

I can't be Snow White because I'm Black.

M… Mr. Mac,

I assure you that… that… is not true.

I… I… I know.

Is Melanie white?

Whoa. Lis… Um…

Ms. Nefko, I… I'm so sorry, but…

Bbaby girl, where you get that mess from?

Aunt Bonita.

Oh…

Look, you go… go on in there.

[chuckles nervously]

Baby girl don't need to hear nothing about that.

What that hell was B thinking?

Remember what I said about Santa Anas?

Coming in and starting brush fires.

Now… I got to go put this one out.

[Bernie] B…

I had to talk to baby girl a whole hour about race.

I don't even want her thinking about that right now.

I was just trying to tell her the truth.

There's other ways to tell the kids the truth

without being so blunt.

That's the way we learned it

and we turned out okay. Okay?

B, I appreciate what you're trying to do.

But I don't want my kids to grow up too fast.

Are we cool?

I'm always cool.

I'm not the one with the issues.

I just came to help out.

There are other ways you can help that would be more appropriate.

♪ Ow, she's a brick ♪

All right, everybody!

Come get it while it's hot!

Good morning, muscles.

♪ Just lettin' it all hang out ♪

♪ Ow, she's a brick ♪

Don't just stand there, baby. Fix yourself a plate.

♪ The lady's stacked ♪

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

♪ Ow, she's a brick house ♪

-[footsteps approaching] -Good morning.

[gasps] Ooh. Bonita…

Close my robe?

Oh, girl, ain't nobody trippin'.

We all family.

[whispering] You're hanging out.

Have a good day.

Okay.

Booby never hurt nobody.

Booby feed the world.

-You want some more eggs? -Mm-hmm.

Hey, hey, what's going on?

Nothing. Just trying to be helpful.

I heard that. This look nice.

Real nice.

Uh-huh.

Ow.

♪ Ow, she's a brick house ♪

[Bonita] Okay, girl.

It's just you and me.

Give me the real deal.

How you like living here with your Uncle Bernie?

You mean Bigfoot.

[laughs] We used to call him "little ears."

[laughs]

Ugh. He has so many rules.

I mean, he monitors all my calls.

And sometimes I can hear him breathing on the phone.

I have a 6-year-old's curfew

and I'm the only girl in school without a cell phone.

Oh, that's messed up.

Look at that, America.

I be doggone.

My sister B got her doing laundry.

She good people.

Vanessa, your uncle means well.

He is doing the best he can.

[voice breaking] You hear that?

She right… I am.

But I do… my best…

She a godsend.

[sobbing quietly]

God knows he don't have no sense.

I mean, what is he worried about?

It ain't like that phone gonna make you pregnant.

Okay?

We gonna get you a cell phone.

Ooh.

And we gonna get one of those cute little fur leopard covers.

Ooh, girl, you gonna be fly!

Let's bounce.

But Uncle Bernie said I can't have a phone.

But Aunt Bonita said you can.

Okay?

Girl, you listen to me.

Don't listen to him, honey, 'cause I'm gonna have…

♪ Ow, she's a brick house ♪

Hey, Jordan, don't stand there with the refrigerator door open.

Let all the cold out.

Aunt Bonita made dessert.

Oh, yeah?

What'd she make?

Ah, Jell-O.

There's always room for Jell-O.

I'm so glad Aunt B here.

You like her being here, boy?

Mm-hmm.

Jell-O.

♪ This is how the story goes ♪

Wow…

♪ That a woman needs ♪

Careful.

Watch those grubby feet. I just mopped.

Oh, I appreciate it, sis.

Hey, baby girl. How was school?

Fine.

We learned about Rosa Parks.

She was Black and she sat in front of the bus.

That's right.

And when they told her to move, she said, "No."

And thanks to her courage, things changed

and now we can sit anywhere we want to.

Can we even drive the bus?

Honey, we can even own the bus company.

You know, America, now that's teaching baby girl.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Even though they should be giving us the bus company.

Giving us buses?

I got to get you up on reparations.

Now that you've each chosen a country,

we're going to discuss longitude and latitude.

["Just My Imagination" playing]

♪ But it was just my imagination ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ It was just my imagination ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Soon we'll be married ♪

Jordan, did you do your homework?

No.

You know you're going to have to stay after class.

I know. Uh… thank you?

Jordan… is there something wrong?

Forgive me, Lord.

-[shrieks] -[kids laughing]

[screaming, gasping]

[screaming]

[Irish accent] A little riddle for you, Mr. Mac.

What's black and white and red all over?

A nun whose bosom has been accosted

by a demented 10-year-old boy.

Come on, Father. I'm just as shocked as you are.

Sister Mary is a 60-year-old servant of the Lord.

I mean, if the boy had wanted to touch a holy relic,

we have the jawbone of St. Bartholomew in the narthex.

I don't know what to say.

Obviously, the boy need to be punished.

In the old days, he's lose his hands.

But I'm not going to punish the boy.

He'll get his in the afterlife.

Oh… I can't wait that long, Father.

I'm sick, Uncle Bernie. I'm sick.

-Mm-mm. -I need help.

Now calm down. Son, just tell me what the heck was you thinking about?

I don't know! I can't stop thinking about boobies

-since I saw Aunt Bonita's. -Your aunt's?

I didn't try to. They were just there.

I saw them at breakfast and now all day

I just can't stop thinking about boobies.

Jordan, you too young to be thinking about boobies.

Especially Aunt Bonita's.

I got to think this out, son.

You might be damaged for life.

Hmm… Hmm…

They were nice. Real nice.

Bonita…

a bad influence, that's what she is.

A bad influence, America, and I knew it.

I just didn't want to believe it.

Groping a nun.

I'll let the boy squeeze Bonita, see how she like it.

That's biblical justice.

An eye for an eye, a teat for a teat!

Look here, B.

All I'm saying is it's inappropriate for you

to be walking around with your robe open, your business out,

in front of that little boy. This not the projects!

You should just be glad he's interested in women.

Look, B, you're not listening to what the hell I'm saying.

I'm saying there's a right way to raise those kids

and there's a wrong way to raise those kids.

You saying I don't know how to raise kids?

I'm not saying that.

I helped make those kids who they are today.

-What? -Or did you forget

who was going to Stacey's house taking care of them

while you were chasing your dream?

What that got to do with it?

I was the one going over there changing diapers

while you was running around in a comedy club

with your crazy pants and a flattop yelling, "Kick it!"

Oh, okay, I see it.

"Kick it."

Knock-knock. Who's there?

Not Uncle Bernie 'cause he ain't got no time for y'all.

-He's "kicking it." -That's not true.

I ain't scared of you.

Who you with?

Not them kids, 'cause they was with me.

Put that in your act.

You just cover yourself up around these doggone kids.

Making fun of my act.

"Who you with?"

"I ain't scared of you. Kick it."

I ought to…

Let's move on.

That stuff made me who I am today.

Wanda, she got to go. She got to go.

Oh, honey, stop overreacting.

She's just not used to being around kids.

You can't blame her for being--

What? Ignorant, immature, and ghetto?

And your sister.

She cares about those kids

and those kids care about her.

And so do you.

If that was your ignorant, immature, ghetto-ass sister,

you'd want her out.

But she's not. [giggles]

I don't even know why I talk to her.

She don't offer no comfort.

I need someone to nod and agree like you do, America.

Right?

Thank you.

[audience murmuring]

Come on, let's go. Come on, Amy.

Okay, sweetie, I'll be right back.

I got to get a different kind of pin, okay?

Jordan. Jordan.

-Hey, baby. -Hey, honey.

Jordan.

Don't hit that button, just hit record

and when you do that red light'll come on.

And when you do that, you look through the viewfinder.

Now remember, don't start taping till your sister hits the stage.

Is that red light on, boy?

-Uh-uh. -All right, good.

Hey! That's mine.

No it's not, it's mine…

because I'm Black

and you got to make up for a lot of mean stuff.

-What? -Reparation.

Now go get me a cupcake because I'm Black.

[crying]

Hey, what's going on?

She hurt my feelings.

Bryana, what did you say?

I told him to get me a cupcake because I'm Black.

Like you taught me.

That's not what I meant

and I never told you to be mean to your friends.

I was just trying to tell you a little bit about our history.

Now you apologize.

-Sorry. -It's okay.

Come on here.

Give it, give it.

Come on.

All right, America.

I may have been a little too quick to judge.

She did the right thing.

My sister can be a little headstrong,

maybe a little, yeah, ignorant,

but she's a Mac.

She's family.

And I should give her the benefit of the doubt, right?

Right.

[whimsical music playing]

[buzzing]

Everybody, be quiet.

The witch is coming.

Quick, hide!

[cell phone ringing]

-Wanda? -That's not mine.

Well, who in the hell…

I have to call you back.

Nessa, you got a phone?

I told you you couldn't have no damn phone.

I got her a phone. Shh!

-I told her she can't have no phone. -Bernie, shh!

Don't be… Why's everybody shushing me?

-This some bull. -Shh! Bryana's part is next.

Oh, Mr. Squirrel.

I'm trying to reach an apple,

but they're ever so high.

Can you climb the tree and pick one for me?

Pick it yourself.

I'm not your slave, Snow Whitey.

[audience gasping]

B, you know I told Nessa she can't have no phone.

She's the only girl at her school without a cell phone.

-Why you got to trip? -I don't care, B, I said no.

What if it's an emergency or something?

No!

I think you're wrong.

Ain't about what you think.

You ain't hearing me.

And I know you got a million arguments, but I got one,

and what I say goes.

She already got two parents.

We don't need three.

B… look.

I know you care about the kids and you're a good aunt,

but you're not the parent.

That's my job.

And Wanda's job.

And, baby, those are the rules.

And if you're going to stay here, B…

you got to respect the rules.

Okay.

-I'm really going to miss you. -Aw…

How come you're leaving?

Honey, your auntie got this great opportunity in Oregon.

See, this friend of mine got this gig recycling tires

and turning them into slippers.

She needs somebody to handle operations.

She ain't got no people skills.

Are you coming back?

Of course I'm coming back.

And I'll even bring you guys some slippers.

What size y'all wear?

Good Lord, Jordan.

Look at those feet.

You know what they say about men with big feet?

-They say they got big-- -Bonita.

-Don't be a stranger. -[clicks tongue]

-Call me. -[clicks tongue]

Hey, little sis…

take care, you hear?

Oh… Uh-uh.

No, come on now. Come on now.

Your house, your rules.

I'll be right back, baby.

Things are back to normal, America.

The winds have calmed down and all the fire seems to be out.

No smoldering embers.

See, good parenting takes careful attention.

So be careful what goes into your children's heads,

or what goes into their ears,

and especially what goes in front of their eyes.

-[classical music playing] -Hold on one minute.

Jordan, turn that down.

[Jordan] I'm watching Bryana's play.

Oh, okay. I approve.

See, that's good parenting, America.

Good night.

[music continues]

[Jordan to himself] That's Kenny's mom.

Wow, I got to make friends with Kenny now.

Well, what do we have here?

Come on, come on, turn around, turn around.

There it is. That's right.

[cackles]

I am so sick. Man…

Mr. Mac… another riddle for you.

What do you see?

I don't know.

Dos sombreros.

But I know what you were thinking.

Headlights.

I can read your thoughts.

-I know where you live. -[woman laughing]

And I know what you've got in your liquor cabinet.

[woman continues laughing]