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1
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[opening theme music playing]
2
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Oh, hi, America. Just one second.
3
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Okay.
4
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,274
Hey, listen to this.
5
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:29,738
"Gratitude: the quality or feeling
of being grateful or thankful,
6
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:33,950
as in, 'He expressed gratitude
to everyone on his staff.'"
7
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That's nice.
Let's see what else we got here.
8
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,372
Okay, hey, hey, listen to this.
9
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:43,710
"Thankless: not likely
to be appreciated or rewarded."
10
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"Unappreciated, as in, 'A thankless job.'"
11
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All right. That's kind of nice there.
12
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,760
Hold on, I want to see something else,
look for something else.
13
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,845
Okay, this is real nice.
14
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:55,597
"A 'skunk.'"
15
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"A black and white striped mammal
of the weasel family…"
16
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We know some people like that.
17
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:04,898
"…that emits a pungent odor
when attacked."
18
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,858
"Or a despicable person."
19
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:10,278
America, let's see if I can
use that in a sentence.
20
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Those thankless little skunks
have no gratitude.
21
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One more second, America,
one more second.
22
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Let me look up "justifiable homicide."
23
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Yeah, yeah.
24
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Sorry, dogs, but tonight,
the cards are screaming,
25
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"Here you go, W.B. Get yours."
26
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[laughing]
27
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,676
Yeah, it's all right.
Just consider it a loan, baby.
28
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You'll be paying double Saturday.
29
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,638
-Yeah, whatever.
-Okay.
30
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,390
Mm, not promising anything.
We got that thing at Bona Vista.
31
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-What thing you talking about?
-The father-daughter dance, man.
32
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Sophia's so excited about it.
She made me go out and buy a new suit.
33
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Oh, it was about time, man,
'cause that tight polyester suit
34
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,528
with the big-ass lapels done been over.
35
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[laughing]
36
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Hey, what are you wearing
to the dance, man?
37
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,243
-Huh?
-What are you wearing to the dance?
38
00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,662
Um… I haven't thought about it right now.
39
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,789
I want to play cards,
I want my money back.
40
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:03,832
Whoa, hold up, man.
41
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,709
You plan what you're wearing
to get the morning paper.
42
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,169
You don't know nothing about
this dance, do you?
43
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That's not true. That's not true.
Big fella, you know that's not true.
44
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,550
Not true.
45
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,176
Nessa's just probably
waiting till last minute.
46
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-Chuy, you know how she is.
-Mm-hm.
47
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:21,099
Bernie, the dance is Saturday
and she hasn't asked you yet?
48
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,016
[laughs]
49
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,893
You ain't going to a damn thing.
50
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,478
[Chuy] Yup.
51
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:29,566
Not true.
52
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,486
Look, America, I'm sure Nessa,
man, she gonna ask me.
53
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,822
It just take her a little time
to do something nice.
54
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,491
You know, she's got to dig
through all that layer of her evil.
55
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,201
She'll do the right thing.
56
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,496
She'll… she'll do the right thing.
57
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,749
So, what's up, kids?
58
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,918
What's happening this week,
anything special?
59
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,337
-I get my cast off.
-We might not have time, Jordan.
60
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,672
But it itches.
61
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:54,257
-Here. Use this.
-Okay.
62
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,551
-Anybody else? What's happening?
-Uncle Bernie, I--
63
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,719
Not now, Baby Girl.
64
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,681
Nessa, what's going on? What's rocking,
baby? What's popping? [clicks fingers]
65
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,932
What's swinging this weekend?
66
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,726
-What's rocking, huh?
-Oh, Bernie,
67
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,228
the Richters wanted to know
if they could reschedule.
68
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,856
Hell no. You know, I hate the Richters.
69
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,108
They do manage our money.
70
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,402
Damn.
71
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:15,528
So, Nessa…
72
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:21,242
Oh, yeah, old Nessa's slick.
73
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,286
Acting like she didn't get the hint.
74
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,538
You know, maybe I should be
a little bit more blatant.
75
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,956
Like hit her over the head with it.
76
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[Bernie]
♪ Something don't look right ♪
77
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♪ Something don't look right ♪
78
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:34,005
♪ Salt belongs over here ♪
79
00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:36,299
♪ Pepper belongs right here ♪
80
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,218
♪ Now the table looks right ♪
81
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,178
♪ All right, come on ♪
82
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,304
Is there any butter?
83
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,805
♪ You want butter? ♪
84
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,767
♪ You want butter, oh…♪
85
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,435
♪ Here your butter ♪
86
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:49,562
♪ There your butter ♪
87
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:50,563
Thanks.
88
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,648
♪ You're welcome ♪
89
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,149
You're silly, Uncle Bernie.
90
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,067
♪ Say what? ♪
91
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,694
♪ I got it ♪
92
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:58,821
♪ I got it ♪
93
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,365
♪ I got it ♪
94
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,951
♪ I got it ♪
95
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,619
♪ Look, Nessa ♪
96
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:06,955
♪ Look, Nessa ♪
97
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,961
Those were some of my finest moves.
98
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,756
America, I'm starting to think
she's not going to even ask me.
99
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,633
All right, fine.
100
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:22,053
After all I've done for her.
Saved her from a life on the streets.
101
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,639
You know, if you take in
a stray dog, it'll lick you.
102
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,933
You may catch something,
but it'll lick you.
103
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:28,643
Fine.
104
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,354
And you know what else, America?
105
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,524
I don't even care
about the dance anymore.
106
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,151
I wouldn't go to that dance
if she asked me.
107
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,279
Why won't she ask me to the dance?
108
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,114
Honey, just ask her.
109
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,198
No.
110
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It's her dance.
111
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Hawkins don't ask Sadie,
Sadie asks Hawkins.
112
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,788
That's the rule.
That's the way it's always been.
113
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,795
You, uh, want me to take
your mind off of it?
114
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,005
Mm, no.
115
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,841
I want to stew.
116
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,178
Okay.
117
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:08,641
[Wanda] Okay, why don't you
want to go with him?
118
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,643
-What?
-Vanessa, I know you,
119
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,021
and I know you want to go to this dance.
120
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,981
You do want to go, right?
121
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,524
Well, yeah, but--
122
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:19,610
And you see how badly
your uncle wants to go.
123
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,821
How can you not see it?
124
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,240
-[laughs]
-"Want some salt?"
125
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,496
It would mean a lot to him
if you'd ask him.
126
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,498
We don't even get along.
127
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,253
Okay, I know you two may butt heads,
128
00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:41,966
but are you telling me that you
can't get along for one night?
129
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,636
For me?
130
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,347
But Uncle Bernie is so…
131
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,184
Okay, well, would you go with him?
132
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,728
Sweetie, I married him.
133
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Oh, yeah.
134
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,815
[indistinct commentary on TV]
135
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,780
Saturday night, meet me
at the front door at 7:00.
136
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,743
America, she got a lot of damn nerve.
137
00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,496
That's no way
to invite someone to a dance.
138
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,081
Let me read "invite."
139
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:17,168
"Invite: to request
the participation of another
140
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:20,505
in a kindly, courteous,
and complimentary way."
141
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:23,966
"Kindly, courteous, complimentary way."
142
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,470
You know, I ought to turn her down
and not even go to her funky little dance.
143
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,763
Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.
144
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It's important to her.
145
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,405
-How do I look, baby?
-Baby, you look handsome.
146
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,367
I want to go to
a father-daughter dance, too.
147
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:51,661
Oh, sweetie, I have
a special night planned
148
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:52,578
for you and your brother.
149
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:56,207
Can we go to Video Fun Zone?
Please, please, please?
150
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,917
Okay, okay, Jordan, relax.
151
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,002
We will talk about it when your sister
152
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,838
and your uncle has left
for the dance, okay?
153
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,256
-Okay.
-Okay.
154
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,508
That boy on speed, you know that?
155
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,510
[footsteps approaching]
156
00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:09,679
Wow, Wanda.
157
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,432
-[Jordan] Whoa!
-[Bryana] Ooh!
158
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,647
Nessa…
159
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,315
you look beautiful.
160
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:22,775
Thanks.
161
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,111
You look… nice.
162
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,785
Wow. This is for you.
163
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:38,541
[man] Ready, sir?
164
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,419
My lady, your carriage awaits you.
165
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,754
[gasps] A limo! Cool!
166
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,300
-Bernie, this is her special night.
-[Jordan speaks indistinctly]
167
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,385
I want you to be on your best behavior.
168
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:50,761
What?
169
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,432
Like I'm a little kid.
Baby, I'm always on my best behavior.
170
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,267
Honey, I mean it.
171
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,519
She had some reservations
about asking you.
172
00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,604
Just keep that in mind.
173
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,189
Well, who else she going to ask?
174
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,941
Her daddy? He won't be available
for five to ten years.
175
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,359
And that's on good behavior.
176
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,277
Baby, stop.
177
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,113
Wanda, she's right, she's right.
She got a point.
178
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,366
It's a father-and-daughter dance
and her father's not around.
179
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:13,868
And you know what else?
180
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,996
I'm going to give her a special Bernie Mac
father-and-daughter dance.
181
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,874
One she'll never forget
'cause I'm made like that.
182
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:21,250
America, I'm a giver.
183
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,085
Now her daddy, on the other hand…
184
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:24,962
Let's move on.
185
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,172
♪ With this World Trade ♪
186
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:28,049
♪ Naw brave any order but confoldure ♪
187
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,926
♪ Better make it home
When nothin' seems to matter ♪
188
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,552
♪ That's when, see,
Everything can go ♪
189
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,720
♪ Any which way ♪
190
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,472
♪ They got me fooled
See the Henny with the J ♪
191
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:35,681
♪ Front porch, chillin' broke ♪
192
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,642
♪ Country folk, I'm Nappy
With my ways, yo ♪
193
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:39,268
♪ All my life I've been poor ♪
194
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,021
♪ But it really don't matter no more ♪
195
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,899
♪ And they wonder why we act this way ♪
196
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,193
♪ Nappy boys gon' be okay ♪
197
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,694
This is nice, baby.
198
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,072
Bernie. Whoo, hey!
199
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,199
Hey, what's up, boy?
200
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,535
How you doing? You look good, man.
201
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,619
I got them fooled, don't I?
202
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,664
Hope you got your moves down
for the contest tonight.
203
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,290
We could use a little competition.
204
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,918
Oh, you take us on, man?
Look, look, look.
205
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,044
-Huh?
-You know what?
206
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,296
I got the combination, boy.
I got the combination.
207
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,173
-Whoo!
-No, you don't.
208
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,300
By the end of the night,
Nessa and I, man,
209
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,219
our shoes are going to be
bronzed in the trophy case.
210
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:15,930
Watch and see, tonight.
Am I right, baby?
211
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,224
Okay, all right, fathers,
grab your daughters,
212
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,726
get on the dance floor,
and show me what you got for me.
213
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:22,770
Let's show them what we got.
214
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,231
Back up off. Let tell you something.
215
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:28,651
Back up. Back up off it.
Back, back, back up off it.
216
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,989
Come on, Nessa.
Me and you, baby, it's our time.
217
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,199
No, this song's kind of whack.
Maybe later.
218
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:41,122
"And the littlest ladybug
slid down the anteater's throat
219
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,082
in search of her friend, the ant."
220
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:45,501
Oh, please. Can we watch videos?
221
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,170
Stop interrupting. I said after dinner.
222
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,172
Then can we eat already? I'm hungry.
223
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,509
Jordan, you watched me
put the pizza in five minutes ago.
224
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,594
Now would you stop?
225
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,597
Aunt Wanda, what happens
to the ladybug?
226
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,225
Okay, so, "The littlest ladybug
227
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:06,397
slid down the anteater's throat
in search of her friend, the ant," and…
228
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,524
Um…
229
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:11,986
Oh, boy. The last page is missing.
230
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,238
But what happened
to the ladybug and the ant?
231
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,656
They die.
232
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,367
-[chuckles]
-Hey, Jordan, don't tell her that.
233
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,955
Baby, you know what?
I'm sure they lived happily ever after.
234
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,625
But how do we know?
They last page is missing.
235
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,044
You know why the last page is missing?
236
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,587
'Cause the anteater ate it.
237
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,423
Just like he ate the ladybug and the ant.
238
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,550
He chewed them up and he ate it.
239
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,052
-[laughs]
-[sobbing]
240
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,137
Jordan, you may not want
this special night,
241
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,764
but your sister and I do.
242
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,933
The ant is dead.
243
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,727
You know what?
You should just go somewhere
244
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,021
-and sit down for a while.
-Gladly.
245
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,690
[Wanda] No, the ant is not dead.
246
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,567
[dance music playing]
247
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,612
Don't do that, please.
248
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,530
Hey, hey, baby, Nessa, who's that?
249
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,784
-Uh, Mr. Cowan.
-That's your favorite teacher, ain't it?
250
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:00,701
Mr. Cowan!
251
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,662
-What are you doing?
-Come on, come on, come on.
252
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,121
Hey, Cowan! Come on, baby. Come on.
253
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,581
Mr. Mac, good to see you again.
254
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,333
-What's up, baby? How you doing?
-I'm doing fine.
255
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:10,503
You're my niece's favorite teacher, man.
All she talk about is you.
256
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:13,339
You, you, you.
"Mr. Cowan this, Mr. Cowan that."
257
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,467
The house can't stand you.
Baby Girl, you make her sick.
258
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,427
She's says,
"Why don't you marry Mr. Cowan?"
259
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,345
Uncle Bernie.
260
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,805
-Huh?
-Why don't we go get some punch?
261
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,599
Okay, sure, we get some punch.
Mr. Cowan, it's a pleasure, boy.
262
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:26,227
-You're a cool white boy. Mr. Cowan.
-Oh, thank you.
263
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,354
That's Mr. Cowan, baby.
264
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:29,814
Ugh. Why did you do that?
265
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,649
What you talking about?
I'm making you look good, Nessa.
266
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:32,983
Why are you acting like this?
267
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,361
-How am I acting?
-You're acting like you're crazy.
268
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,114
I'm acting like I'm crazy?
269
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,617
"Crazy"? Oh, I'm crazy.
270
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:45,663
What kind of fool wants to dance
at a father-and-daughter dance, huh?
271
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:47,456
Mac, keep it together.
272
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,792
It's her night. It's her night.
273
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,086
Don't say nothing.
274
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,506
[Bryana crying]
275
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,007
Bryana, please stop crying.
276
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,468
Oh, okay. Could you just
turn to the last page
277
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,179
and tell me what happened
with the ladybug and the ant?
278
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,099
No, excuse you, I did buy the book.
279
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,268
It's just missing the last page.
280
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,687
He is really getting on my nerves.
281
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,230
Why can't he be normal?
282
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,857
I'm sure he's no worse than my dad.
283
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,525
-[tapping on microphone]
-[microphone feedback]
284
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:16,485
[Bernie] What's up, you squares?
285
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,196
To all the L-7's in the house tonight.
286
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,031
I take it back.
287
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,160
Oh, my God. Look at your dad!
288
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,370
Uncle. My dad's in prison.
289
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,706
Right now, tonight,
I want to dedicate this song
290
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,458
to a beautiful, finicky young lady
291
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:33,502
who just can't find
the right song for her tonight.
292
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:37,548
But I'm going to play a song
for her I know she cold going to dig
293
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,176
'cause I took her to ten stores
to buy this single.
294
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,679
Listen, beautiful thing,
chocolate thunder,
295
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:46,932
you meet me on the center
killer floor here tonight,
296
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,517
and I'll show you how it's done.
297
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,852
Oh, yeah.
298
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:51,103
Ha. Here you go.
299
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,605
["Star" playing]
300
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:53,606
Want to see something?
301
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,358
Want to see some magic? Watch.
302
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,238
Huh. I'm popping. Look, listen, and learn.
303
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:02,990
Yeah, come on. Get it.
304
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,702
Come on. Get it. Huh. I'm right here.
305
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:08,913
I'm waiting for you.
306
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,708
Yeah. She'll be out in a few minutes.
307
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,045
She probably went
to the bathroom or something.
308
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:18,506
Nessa?
309
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,468
♪ Since you left, the time ♪
310
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:23,594
Nessa?
311
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:24,929
♪ Has been so slow ♪
312
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,972
Nessa?
313
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,394
♪ See, I need you, boy ♪
314
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,942
[dance music playing]
315
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,531
Nessa!
316
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,785
Excuse me. Do you know Nessa?
317
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:51,747
[door opens]
318
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:54,625
[door closes]
319
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,210
Can you believe this?
320
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,712
The Mac Man ditched?
321
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,006
Hey, I am trying to be
a father to someone
322
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,008
who don't know how to act like a daughter.
323
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,177
Just rude, mean, hateful.
324
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,555
Wouldn't know what to do
with a daddy if she had one.
325
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,182
Huh. America, this is a disaster.
326
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,643
I can't imagine this evening
going any worse.
327
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,312
To me, this ain't no
bust a move, boo!
328
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:24,780
Huh.
329
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,632
[screaming]
330
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,471
[indistinct chatter]
331
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,598
Hey, Nessa.
332
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:52,975
Hey!
333
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,226
Excuse me.
334
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,645
This is the girls' bathroom.
335
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,565
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
You all got enough blush on anyway.
336
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,693
Save some for high school.
Go ahead. Y'all get on out of here.
337
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,612
Come on, get on out of here!
338
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,032
Fast…
339
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,199
-Oh, my God.
-Whatever.
340
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,159
Nessa?
341
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,706
Nessa, I know you in here. I can see
the shoes that you ditched me in.
342
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,333
Leave me alone.
343
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,002
Come on, Ness.
I know how you feel.
344
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:23,088
I know you're really sad
because your real father can't be here.
345
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,214
What?
346
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,884
I know why you didn't ask me
to come to the dance.
347
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,428
I know you kind of upset about…
348
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,055
your real father's situation.
349
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:34,475
You know, from him being
in the joint and everything.
350
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,393
This has nothing to do with my dad.
351
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,854
Come on, Nessa, this is me.
You can talk to me.
352
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,815
Half of the girls here
aren't with their real dads.
353
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,443
Okay, then, well, Nessa,
if it ain't your real father,
354
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:45,402
what's the problem then?
355
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,321
My problem is you.
356
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:50,240
I didn't want to ask you
because I knew it would be a disaster.
357
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:53,035
We don't get along at home,
so why should we here?
358
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,037
Wow, Nessa.
359
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,207
You mean to tell me that…
360
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,376
your father ain't got nothing
to do with this?
361
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,670
-That this is personal?
-Duh.
362
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,093
Okay, then, Nessa.
363
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,137
It's on.
364
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,682
Oh, it's on for real now.
365
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,351
And I'm going to do
just like your real daddy.
366
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:18,394
I'm going to leave.
367
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,030
Ooh!
368
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:32,741
[gasps]
369
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,744
What in the world? What did you do?
370
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,287
It was an accident! I swear!
371
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,165
The nozzle came off of the paint can
and it wouldn't stop coming!
372
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,751
Where's the paint can now?
373
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,881
[gasping] My Pratesi sheets are in there!
374
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:51,927
[groans]
375
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:56,265
Oh, you are so dead.
376
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,850
[dance music playing]
377
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,438
Limousine coming.
378
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,065
I have to get my shawl.
379
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,775
By the time you get it, it'll be here.
380
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,446
[DJ] All right, fathers and daughters,
381
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:13,949
it's now time for
the father-daughter dance contest!
382
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,577
You better bring it,
take your daughter's left hand
383
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,830
with your right hand,
and let's come to the floor. Hit it!
384
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:23,083
[dance music playing]
385
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:27,588
America, I refuse
to let this night end this way.
386
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,757
I don't care what Nessa say.
387
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,258
We can have fun together,
388
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,177
and I'm going to show her
that we can get along.
389
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,429
Even if I have to drag her
kicking and screaming,
390
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,222
we're going to get
in that dance contest.
391
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,308
It's pop time. It's my night.
392
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,476
Oh, yeah.
393
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,645
Nessa…
394
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,106
-What are you doin'?
-Come on, we're going to win this contest.
395
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,691
-Come on.
-I'm not dancing with you.
396
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,651
All right, fathers and daughters,
397
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,821
let's get this party started with…
the bump.
398
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,365
-[dance music playing]
-Just follow me. Follow me. Look. Come on.
399
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,701
Come on, Nessa. Bump!
400
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,329
Yeah! Now you mad.
401
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,372
Come on, Nessa, look at you.
402
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,626
[grunts]
403
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,169
Get your hips goin'…
404
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,755
All right, daddy dancers,
I need to shift gears.
405
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,799
I want to know
if you can Harlem make it.
406
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,051
-["Young'n" plays]
-I need everybody to Harlem shake it.
407
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,220
-What? What that?
-♪ Rollin', gold two seater ♪
408
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:18,430
♪ Stash in the dash
Hole through heaters ♪
409
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,516
♪ Blocka! Put holes through beaters ♪
410
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,726
♪ Ghetto Fab stroll through Cheetahs ♪
411
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,770
♪ Balling, Brooklyn don ♪
412
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:27,397
♪ Addicted to Cris' hooked on Dom ♪
413
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,650
-Three-hundred-dollar sheets!
-Ow!
414
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,195
Three-hundred dollars.
Just… can't go and be still!
415
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:36,406
Gotta just ruin my new sheets,
you little monster!
416
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:39,785
-Aunt Wanda.
-$300… Ugh!
417
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,954
-But Aunt Wanda!
-What?
418
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,455
Something's burning.
419
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,083
-[gasping] Ooh! My pizza!
-[alarm beeping]
420
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:49,253
Oh! Oh, oh!
421
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:52,548
[yelling]
422
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,424
Where's the phone?
423
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,845
[yelling, whimpering]
424
00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,346
Help!
425
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:02,015
Okay, we're down to our last two couples,
426
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,560
so we're going to see
if y'all can bank head bounce.
427
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,020
♪ It's a Midwest thang, y'all ♪
428
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,064
♪ And they ain't got a clue ♪
429
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,149
♪ They ain't got a clue ♪
430
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,775
♪ Why my Cutlass blue ♪
431
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,319
♪ And I got them thangs on that too ♪
432
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,573
♪ It's a Midwest swang, y'all ♪
433
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,324
♪ And they ain't gotta trip ♪
434
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,450
♪ They ain't got a trip ♪
435
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:21,869
♪ While we swing and dip ♪
436
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,372
[coughing]
437
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,207
[groaning]
438
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,001
[laughing]
439
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:32,171
[DJ] And it looks like we have a winner!
440
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,465
We lost.
441
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:36,633
Yeah.
442
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,386
-That's sad.
-Yeah, that is sad.
443
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,929
[panting]
444
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,389
-Do me a favor.
-Hmm?
445
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:44,266
Help your uncle get over there.
446
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,893
-All right, you ready?
-Okay.
447
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,437
Give me an hour, I'll come back,
I'm going to kill 'em.
448
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,855
[siren whooping]
449
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,231
[indistinct chatter]
450
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:57,905
Hey, Wanda!
451
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,406
Here. [chuckling]
452
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,366
-Thank you.
-[fireman] Mm-hmm.
453
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,618
Baby, you all right?
454
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,912
False alarm. I burned some pizza.
455
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,163
My stuff okay?
456
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,499
Yeah, and the kids are, too,
thank you very much.
457
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,377
Oh, no, I'm s…
You had a rough night, huh?
458
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,296
It was a total disaster.
459
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,089
No, it wasn't. It was awesome!
460
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,132
You had a good time?
461
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,468
Yeah! Uncle Bernie,
the cheese caught on fire,
462
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,012
and the alarm went off.
Then the firemen came.
463
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:25,098
I got to ride in the fire engine
and hold the axe!
464
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,892
-That axe save lives, you know.
-Yeah.
465
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:28,518
Uncle Bernie, can I have an axe?
466
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:29,519
-No.
-Please.
467
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,646
-No.
-Can I have your axe?
468
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:31,605
No.
469
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:35,692
[sighs] Look, I'm really tired.
I'm going to go to bed.
470
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:36,652
Good night, Uncle Bernie.
471
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,403
Good night, Nessa.
472
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,447
-See you, baby.
-See you.
473
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,406
Good night, Nessa.
474
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,532
Good night.
475
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,663
"Good night, Uncle Bernie."
476
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,081
I'm a hell of a man, Wanda.
477
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:50,999
Hell of a man.
478
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,378
Mm, a relationship.
479
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,881
"An emotional or other
connection between people."
480
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:02,928
Well, hmm, I guess we got
the other, and that's a start.
481
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,180
America, we could build on that.
482
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,183
Let's see what else I got up in here.
483
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,894
Here's a good one. All right, relapse.
484
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,397
"To fall or slip back
into a former state."
485
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,607
Oh, Lord.
486
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,651
Y'all pray for me, America.
487
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,282
-[groaning]
-[crew laughing]
488
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,367
-That's bull.
-Yeah, that's some bull.
489
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,911
-I think we lost.
-Uh, I think we did.
490
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,413
-That's sad.
-That is sad.
491
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:32,374
-Lost to some Latino. [pants]
-[giggles]
492
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,458
Let's move on.
493
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,586
Yeah. Hey. Is that a nurse over there?
494
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:38,880
-No, that…
-That ain't…
495
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,966
-No, uh-uh.
-She look like it.
496
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,218
Come on. Take me over there.
497
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,178
Let's see if she'll give me
some mouth-to-mouth.
498
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,432
-That's a he.
-Oh. Let's try him anyway.
499
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:50,726
Don't walk so fast.
36487
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