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1
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[opening theme music playing]
2
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America, this year,
I got killed in the stock market.
3
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I think you all know what I mean.
4
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,654
America, it was ugly.
5
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,490
My portfolio disappeared
quicker than the Commodores
6
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,284
after Lionel Richie left.
7
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Yeah, but y'all don't see
Bernie Mac on no ledge
8
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of no building ready to jump.
9
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Uh-uh. That's because I diversified.
10
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I got real estate.
11
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This house here, my greatest asset.
12
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It's a type of investment that
ought to appreciate in value
13
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,508
even when the economy is bad.
14
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And that feels good.
15
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Just like this central air conditioning
16
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feels good.
17
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[machine cycling on and off]
18
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Feels real good.
19
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[machine running steadily]
20
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Now that feels good.
21
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♪ This gonna make 'em happy
This gonna make 'em happy ♪
22
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♪ This gonna make 'em happy
This gonna make 'em happy ♪
23
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♪ This gonna make 'em… happy ♪
24
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[suspenseful music playing]
25
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What in the hell happened?
26
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Nessa.
27
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Damn.
28
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Baby girl.
29
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,629
Who in the hell did…
30
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,382
I am Tiger Woods!
31
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I am Tiger Woods!
32
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Tiger Woods, I am!
33
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I am going to kick Jordan's ass.
34
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My beautiful grounds, America,
they've been ground down.
35
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And I'm gonna kill them kids.
36
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They're depreciating my greatest asset,
37
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and I don't appreciate it.
38
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This ain't your normal
wear and tear, America.
39
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Those kids are gonna make it right,
or I'm gonna make it hurt.
40
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Why can't you get the gardener to do it?
41
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The gardener didn't mess it up, you did.
I want you to start with the sod.
42
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Plant it yourself.
43
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Don't you tempt me. I'll fertilize it
with your crushed-up bones.
44
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,255
But I told Shannon I would go
to the mall with her today.
45
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Nessa, the mall is closed today.
It's a holiday.
46
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What holiday?
47
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Clean 'em up, fix 'em up day.
A day of remembrance.
48
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Remember how my house looked
before you three rascals came.
49
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Now clean it up!
50
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[dog barking in distance]
51
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[ice cubes rattle]
52
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[harmonica playing]
53
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[blood hound howling]
54
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Takin' it off here, boss?
55
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Take it off there, son.
56
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Watering down here, boss?
57
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Water up, baby girl.
58
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♪ I don't really care ♪
59
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,892
♪ If it's peace you find in dying ♪
60
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:48,811
This is stupid, boss. I'm out of here.
61
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[gun cocks, fires]
62
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Going back to work, boss.
63
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-[horse neighs]
-Next one will be in your ass.
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♪ 'Cause it's cold way down there ♪
65
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♪ I hear that it's cold way down there ♪
66
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♪ Yeah, crazy cold way down there ♪
67
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-[thumping]
-[music abruptly stops]
68
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,746
Wake up. We got to talk.
69
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,790
Lord, I know I'm dreaming,
70
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,126
'cause there ain't no real child
gonna kick my chair.
71
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,586
Jordan and Bryana are goofing off.
72
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,673
So, if I'm the only one doing the work,
I should get more money.
73
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,216
What money, stool pigeon?
74
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,051
The extra allowance for extra work.
75
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:21,761
Extra money?
76
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,263
[laughs]
77
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,391
Look, America, I pay these kids allowance
78
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,227
to do their chores, to clean their rooms.
79
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,230
But if they think I'm going
to pay them extra
80
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:36,192
for the stuff they mess up,
they got another thing coming.
81
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,735
Extra money?
82
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,279
They can kiss my…
83
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,657
Good, baby girl. Very good.
84
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,744
Nessa, you on it, baby. You on it.
85
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,746
Now, this is what I'm talking about.
86
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[whistle blowing]
87
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Quitting time!
88
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,629
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey,
where do you think you're going?
89
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,881
-This ain't no scheduled pee break.
-We're done.
90
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Done? You all see that hole?
91
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,385
It's going halfway to China.
92
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,137
It looks like a bomb hit it, huh?
93
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:08,141
Nessa, that's $200 worth of sod there
frying in the sun.
94
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:11,894
Yeah, and it only would've cost you
20 bucks for me to plant it.
95
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,479
Oh…
96
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:16,733
I see the game you all are trying to play.
97
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,652
You all trying to hold
my yard hostage against me.
98
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,906
Mmm-hmm.
99
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,076
Hey, baby girl. Now, I know
100
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,787
you're not foolish enough
to defy me with these idiots.
101
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Then you don't know me very well.
102
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,546
From now on, if you want to talk to her,
103
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,506
you've got to talk to me.
104
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Cahoots!
105
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I can't believe it, America!
106
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Who do they think they are? Teamsters?
107
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:50,767
After all I done for them,
they went and unionized on me!
108
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:54,020
Yeah, okay, I wonder if that hole
109
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,064
is big enough out there for three.
110
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,865
Now, both sides have grievances
and you'll both get a turn to speak,
111
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,159
without being interrupted, Bernie.
112
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Vanessa, you start.
113
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Okay, here's the deal.
114
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If you expect us to do
extra work around here,
115
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then we expect to get paid for it.
116
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[laughs]
117
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Secondly, we want breaks.
118
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Lots of them.
119
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I'll give you breaks.
120
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-I'll break your leg against your thigh--
-Bernie!
121
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To continue.
122
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:40,066
And would it kill you to say "please"
and "thank you" every now and then?
123
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,984
"Please" and "thank you"?
124
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How about, "Thank you
for saving my sorry ass
125
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,947
from a life on the street"?
126
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,156
Ingrates.
127
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The nerve of them kids!
128
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When I was their age, America,
I didn't make demands. No, sir.
129
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I appreciated everything that I got.
130
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,375
I kept my head down,
I didn't make eye contact.
131
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I was respectful.
132
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Nowadays, kids got demands.
133
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Think they can negotiate.
134
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,174
They don't appreciate a…
135
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,266
[low growling]
136
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:15,643
[scoffs]
137
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,280
[sets lighter on table] Boo.
138
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:28,990
Twenty dollars each?
139
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I ain't paying them kids no 60 bucks!
140
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,454
Labor demands have gone too far, America,
141
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and Bernie Mac will not succumb!
142
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Those kids don't…
143
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Excuse me, America.
144
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,133
Bernie Mac is about to succumb.
145
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:49,510
If there's one thing about Bernie Mac,
146
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he's a fair man.
147
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Okay, they finish the work,
they'll get paid.
148
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This is the way it's supposed to be.
Now, I like this.
149
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,981
I like the work that you all have done.
150
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,775
That's great. Now say it with cash.
151
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,072
Oh, I'm gonna say it with cash.
152
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,949
You bet your last dollar.
153
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:17,288
$15, $16. Payday's
the sweetest day of the week.
154
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,332
$17, $18…
155
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:22,460
I want to know what all you kids
gonna do with all this money.
156
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:25,046
$19, $20.
157
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:26,422
There you go.
158
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,592
Ho, ho, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Did you all brush your teeth?
159
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,219
-Yeah.
-Yeah, so?
160
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,763
Okay, well,
that change a lot of stuff here.
161
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,932
Okay, let me see, you brushed your teeth,
162
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,476
so that's toothpaste, that's 43 cents.
163
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:42,313
You all ate breakfast,
French toast, that's $1.50.
164
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:45,066
Okay, you had butter, that's 30 cent.
165
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,443
Bacon, that's $1.25.
166
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,487
And you had orange juice, 90 cent.
167
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:52,657
You had seconds. There'll be
no free refills around here, son.
168
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,494
You used the phone.
Six phone calls. That's two dollars.
169
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,663
You, bought you a pair of socks,
170
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,206
$7.50.
171
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,833
And baby girl, you had
a whole bunch of candy.
172
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,461
That came down to $2.35.
173
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,005
And let's not forget about electric use,
174
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,716
liability insurance, real estate tax.
175
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,093
That comes to a total…
176
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,387
Let me see. You have 25.
177
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,389
[mutters]
178
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,267
[stomping feet]
179
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,602
Okay, okay. All right.
180
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,479
Quarter for you, baby girl.
181
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,065
And Vanessa, 13 cent.
182
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,692
And Jordan, you owe me $9.
183
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:28,901
[moans]
184
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,695
You must be trippin'.
185
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:33,906
You can always make additional funds
by doing extra chores.
186
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,908
Like vacuuming, washing the car.
187
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,119
But there'll be
a nominal charge there too.
188
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:42,039
You got hose rental, you got water usage.
And I'll throw in the suds for free.
189
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,208
I knew you would do
something crazy like this.
190
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,378
We're not doing anything else around here.
191
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,754
You're not?
192
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:50,965
What do you do around here?
193
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,009
Whatever it is,
we're not doing it anymore.
194
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:56,053
We're officially on strike.
No pay, no way.
195
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,263
Yeah! No pay, no way!
196
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,016
[all] No pay, no way!
197
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,976
[chanting] No pay, no way!
198
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,103
No pay, no way!
199
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,314
"No pay, no way"?
200
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,066
That threat got less teeth than baby girl.
201
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,693
Let 'em strike.
202
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,154
It won't make a dent in my day.
203
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,823
No pay, no way. No pay, no way.
204
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:18,284
It looked kind of cute, though.
I was flattered.
205
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:23,623
♪ Don't wanna believe
What they're telling me ♪
206
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:31,589
♪ Somebody's been
Pickin' in my cherry tree ♪
207
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:40,723
♪ Don't wanna mistrust nobody by mistake ♪
208
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,186
[groans]
209
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:49,523
♪ Someone's been diggin'
Round in my cake ♪
210
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,820
♪ And I ain't gonna stand for it… ♪
211
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,906
Okay.
212
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:01,911
America, this work stoppage
is worse than I anticipated.
213
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,913
Production at the Bernie Mac factory,
214
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:07,708
or Mactory, if you will,
has come to a screeching halt.
215
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,419
Boss can't even get a cup of coffee.
216
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,962
This is bull.
217
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,012
Hey, man, spot us a couple bucks
218
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,555
for a pack of smokes?
219
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,307
Man, get a job.
220
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,564
[vacuum running]
221
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,609
Oh, how clean!
222
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,070
What…
223
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,115
Hi, Wanda. Dependents.
224
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:40,783
Who are they?
225
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:42,827
[vacuum running]
226
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,161
They are the new yous.
227
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:46,664
[loud thud]
228
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:49,041
Uh, uh, Bernie, what's going on?
229
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,669
Relax, baby.
This is between me and my staff.
230
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,088
-Ooh!
-Excuse me.
231
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:58,259
Uncle Bernie, there's a weird-looking kid
with a nose ring making my bed.
232
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,094
[Vanessa] Get out of my closet!
233
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,805
There's somebody smoking in the bathroom.
234
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,474
-Oh, no.
-Bernie, who are these people?
235
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,643
Well, sweetheart, depends on who you ask.
236
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:10,938
To me? They're a cheap,
dependable workforce.
237
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:14,442
But to labor, they'll be known as scabs.
238
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,779
[light music playing]
239
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:22,032
[laughs joyfully]
240
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,996
[laughing]
241
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,005
Capitalism… I do love it.
242
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,924
Open markets. Spirit of competition.
243
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,968
That's the American way.
244
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:44,221
Yes, sir. But these kids thought
they had a monopoly.
245
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,641
Well, Monopoly's a game
that Bernie Mac don't play.
246
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,102
They don't want to work? Fine.
247
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,354
I'll put 'em on disability.
248
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,816
That's for you, that's for you,
and that's for you.
249
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,526
Got a little extra in there, man.
250
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,779
Treat yourself to a nicotine patch
or something like that, okay?
251
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:03,365
But listen, same time tomorrow, okay?
252
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,993
I'mma have a nice spread for you.
Y'all like Royal Burgers?
253
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,662
-[men] Yeah!
-[cheering]
254
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,623
All right. Get on out of here, man.
255
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:12,708
-Thanks, man.
-You're welcome.
256
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,463
How come you're paying them
and you won't pay us?
257
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,006
I find joy in paying them
258
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:21,383
because they have
less attitude and more gratitude.
259
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,720
I hope you find joy in the fact
that everybody in this house hates you.
260
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,348
You can buck, stew, and hate all you want,
261
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,308
it ain't gonna change a damn thing.
262
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,977
My roof, my rules,
263
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,188
end of story. Now epilogue.
264
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:36,357
[under breath] I hate you.
265
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,780
What you still doing here?
266
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,616
Is she seeing anyone?
267
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,159
[door slams]
268
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:48,827
[softly] I'm gone.
269
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,543
Can we have graham crackers?
270
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,627
Are you kidding?
271
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,504
We can have anything we want.
272
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,297
We can stay up late, sleep in,
273
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,676
we can eat whatever we want,
and he can't say anything about it.
274
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,803
But instead of a tent,
how about a tree house
275
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,763
with a pit and pointy sticks?
276
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,516
A moat. Yeah, a moat would be great.
277
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,435
Yeah. Everybody save up your pee,
okay? Save up your pee.
278
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,187
What the hell you all doing?
279
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:18,232
None of your business.
We don't live under your roof anymore.
280
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,318
Oh, I see what you all are trying to do.
281
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,445
You all want to brave the element, huh?
282
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,407
Well, let's see how well you all do
in the wilds of Encino.
283
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,367
Turn my yard into a shanty town.
284
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,745
When those possums and raccoons
start biting y'all, y'all end up inside!
285
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:35,374
This isn't a lockout, America,
this is a walkout.
286
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,419
Those little ingrates
refuse to face facts.
287
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:44,049
In this Mactory, I am CEO, CFO,
Comptroller, Controller,
288
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,969
Chairman of the Board, and the Board.
289
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,512
They're just temps
290
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:51,056
living in the backyard
like a litter of possums…
291
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,517
heathens, squirrels,
292
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:58,522
coons, rats, skunks, lizards.
293
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,025
Bryana, turn the light back on.
294
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,861
Aw, peanut butter and jelly?
295
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,779
Why couldn't we steal cheeseburgers?
296
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,032
My juice box is getting warm.
297
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:11,201
Bryana, that's your third one.
We have to make these last.
298
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,745
Do you smell what I smell?
299
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,830
Yeah, knock it off.
300
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,457
No, no… the yummy smell.
301
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,250
[zipper rasps]
302
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,502
-Oh… ribs.
-[meat sizzling]
303
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,463
Oh, my God.
304
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:24,465
Mesquite baby back ribs!
305
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,258
House special!
306
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,469
Too bad you don't live in the house.
307
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:29,762
Can you dig it?!
308
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,972
-I want ribs!
-Jordan, no!
309
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,308
[Jordan crying]
310
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:37,561
Can't you see what he's trying to do?
We have to be strong.
311
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,939
But I need meat. I'm iron deficient.
312
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,274
Nice try.
313
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,819
[Jordan groans]
314
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,783
Mmm, mmm!
315
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,242
Yes, sir.
316
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:55,871
I got to hand it to 'em,
they do have willpower.
317
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,957
I don't know if I could pass these up.
318
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,750
Luckily, I don't have to.
319
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:03,003
'Cause I'm not stupid, America,
not like them ignorant kids,
320
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,005
living out there in that flimsy tent.
321
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,174
No, sir, they're crazy.
322
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,717
[owl hoots]
323
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,554
Oh, God, I miss TV.
324
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,474
I miss ice cream.
325
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:18,394
Oh, I miss my Lactaid ice cream.
326
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,021
We've only been in here six hours.
327
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,107
[water pattering]
328
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,695
[both] Rain?
329
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,946
Hey, kids.
330
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:33,200
Dry season,
got to keep the place hydrated.
331
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:34,952
Sorry!
332
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:37,287
Sorry.
333
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,626
I'm still hungry. Can I have another one?
334
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,503
You're not getting one of mine.
335
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,923
Here. It would help
if you ate the cookie part too.
336
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,050
But I only eat the middle.
337
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,593
We're gonna need more food.
338
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,929
Somebody's gonna have
to sneak into the house.
339
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,223
There's probably leftover ribs
in the refrigerator.
340
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,516
I'll do it.
341
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,102
I already got to do number one, anyways.
342
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:03,939
But don't get caught. We don't want
to give Uncle Bernie the satisfaction.
343
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,482
[whispers] Get extra sauce!
344
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,653
[Vanessa] What's taking her so long?
345
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:12,322
[Jordan] Maybe she got
her numbers mixed up.
346
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,908
[Vanessa] It's been over half an hour.
Something's wrong.
347
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,994
[cartoon playing on TV]
348
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,230
[stifles laughter]
349
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:50,069
Excuse me, America,
if I seem a little smug.
350
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,695
But I did enjoy that.
351
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,864
I knew she would crack, trust me.
352
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:55,616
The boy can't be far behind.
353
00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,034
Ow!
354
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,203
The ground's hard, I think I'm on a root.
355
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,746
So move.
356
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:03,499
Ow! The last time
I slept on the floor was in Chicago.
357
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:04,917
Then pretend you're back there.
358
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,753
I don't want to pretend
I'm back there! This is stupid!
359
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,047
-Just go to sleep.
-No! Uh-uh!
360
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,844
[birds chirping]
361
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,103
[sighs] There, that wasn't so bad.
362
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,814
I bet we could stay in here
for a whole week.
363
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,695
[scoffs]
364
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,656
Uncle Bernie's right.
365
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,074
The boy is soft.
366
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:38,450
[cartoon playing on TV]
367
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,827
Mmm.
368
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,127
Traitors.
369
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:51,004
[Bernie slurps]
370
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,215
Hey, Nessa, what you doing here?
371
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,050
You won, okay?
372
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,803
-Huh?
-You won. Happy, now?
373
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,931
[chuckles] You think I ain't?
374
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,184
But let's be real, baby,
it was just a matter of time.
375
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:08,272
Four years, three months, and twelve days.
376
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,984
"Four years, three months,
and twelve days."
377
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,362
That's her 18th birthday.
378
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:19,908
I don't want her counting the days
till she get out of here, that's my job.
379
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,535
Hold on, Nessa, we're not done.
380
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:24,496
-[sighs] What?
-Sit down.
381
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:34,256
Look, I know you think
living with me is unbearable.
382
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,925
-I was doing fine in Chicago.
-No, you weren't.
383
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:40,053
No, you weren't. You have no idea
the road you was going down.
384
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,765
You look at your friends back home.
Look like they having a good time, right?
385
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,518
But I guarantee you, nine time out of ten,
386
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,979
they was heading down a street
called "nowhere."
387
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,774
Nessa, you and I are gonna butt heads.
388
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,693
That's just the way it's gonna be.
389
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,737
But you're part of this family,
390
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,364
and nobody gets paid for that, nobody.
391
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,326
You're a smart kid.
392
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:06,205
I don't know why you can't realize
you got everything. Look around you.
393
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,372
Nessa, you win.
394
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,918
You got everything you want,
everything you need.
395
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,545
And all I ask is that you contribute.
396
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:17,257
I'm gonna tell you something,
if you can't do that,
397
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:20,802
it's gonna be the longest four years,
398
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,930
three months, and twelve days
399
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,307
of your life.
400
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,267
Do you understand me?
401
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:30,771
Good.
402
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,731
Finish your breakfast.
403
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,444
Uncle Bernie?
404
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,738
Yeah, baby.
405
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,532
I'm sorry.
406
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,369
Me too.
407
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,081
That was a breakthrough, America.
408
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,750
You may not have understood her,
409
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:55,754
but that was Nessa-talk
for "I'm sorry, you're right."
410
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,007
"You know everything,
and I'll do whatever you say
411
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,801
this day forward."
412
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:04,471
Well, maybe the last part
was wishful thinking,
413
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,306
but it was a breakthrough.
414
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,143
Here you go.
415
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,687
Thank you, man.
416
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,565
I still bring them in on the weekend.
417
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,360
Good help is hard to find.
418
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:23,115
Them! They went and unionized on me!
419
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,659
Yeah. Okay.
420
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:28,870
I wonder if that hole is big enough
out there for three.
421
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,708
I'll put Vanessa first, facedown.
422
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,377
Then put that ol' four-eyed one
on top of her.
423
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,462
And baby girl, let her squirm here,
424
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,673
but I let her head stick out the dirt.
425
00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:40,716
[chuckles]
426
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,427
Till she say, "I'm sorry."
Now, you know, she cute.
427
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:44,928
I might pull her out.
428
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,390
But that first one… she the ringleader.
429
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:50,684
See, you cut the head off,
the body follow.
31040
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