Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:18,370
Hello?
2
00:00:18,954 --> 00:00:22,832
Oh, yeah, I'll pick it up tomorrow.
What time do you guys close?
3
00:00:23,041 --> 00:00:26,127
All right. Thank you. Bye.
4
00:00:28,630 --> 00:00:29,631
What?
5
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:34,052
I gotta tell you, I am not crazy
about the way you answer the phone.
6
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:35,303
What do you mean?
7
00:00:35,553 --> 00:00:38,306
The way you say hello.
It's like, "Hello."
8
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:39,474
It's like you're saying:
9
00:00:39,683 --> 00:00:42,852
"I'm already bored with this
conversation and I'm bored with you."
10
00:00:43,937 --> 00:00:45,772
And the way you answer the phone
is so great?
11
00:00:46,022 --> 00:00:47,649
Yeah. Yes, it is. I'm very friendly.
12
00:00:47,899 --> 00:00:51,695
- Really? Let's hear one.
- All right. Hello.
13
00:00:52,737 --> 00:00:54,489
You do not do that.
14
00:00:54,739 --> 00:00:55,838
- I do so.
- No, you don't.
15
00:00:55,864 --> 00:00:57,242
It's a very solid hello.
16
00:00:57,325 --> 00:01:02,080
It's warm and inviting and,
I've been told, a little sexy.
17
00:01:02,872 --> 00:01:03,797
You know what I'll do?
18
00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:06,126
I'll quit my job and practise
saying hello full-time.
19
00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:07,836
- Is that good?
- You don't have to bite.
20
00:01:08,044 --> 00:01:10,171
I'm just trying to help you
with your greeting skills.
21
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:12,340
- Well, don't.
- Whatever. Sorry I brought it up.
22
00:01:12,549 --> 00:01:13,550
Yeah, me too.
23
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,927
- Fine.
- Fine.
24
00:01:45,715 --> 00:01:51,715
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:58,241 --> 00:02:00,451
I think they made a mistake
in the word jumble.
26
00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:04,455
- Yeah?
- Yeah. The letters are M-A-L-B.
27
00:02:04,664 --> 00:02:07,416
There's nothing you can
make of that, you know?
28
00:02:16,342 --> 00:02:19,428
- There's nothing.
- Lamb.
29
00:02:20,888 --> 00:02:23,015
I'll play around with that.
30
00:02:34,652 --> 00:02:37,238
Arthur
31
00:02:44,912 --> 00:02:47,331
In case you didn't catch
that subtle hint,
32
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:48,916
his birthday's coming up.
33
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:52,211
Yeah, I know. This morning,
I woke up with a party hat on.
34
00:02:54,213 --> 00:02:56,966
God, he's gonna be 75.
35
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,343
We should do something special
for him, don't you think?
36
00:02:59,594 --> 00:03:01,471
Chip in for a hooker?
37
00:03:02,805 --> 00:03:04,056
Not quite that special.
38
00:03:04,849 --> 00:03:07,518
We can save that for my birthday.
Hey, who said that?
39
00:03:07,685 --> 00:03:10,771
Doug, come on, I'm being serious.
40
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:13,107
I feel like such a slug
when it comes to his birthday.
41
00:03:13,316 --> 00:03:15,276
I mean, every year,
we schlep him to White Castle
42
00:03:15,485 --> 00:03:17,445
and throw 20 bucks' worth
of scratch-offs at him.
43
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,113
What do you wanna do instead?
44
00:03:19,363 --> 00:03:21,324
I don't know,
I'm thinking like a surprise party.
45
00:03:21,991 --> 00:03:24,744
A party? With people?
46
00:03:25,328 --> 00:03:27,371
I'm thinking with people, yes, yes.
47
00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:29,290
Let's see, his birthday
is on Tuesday.
48
00:03:29,499 --> 00:03:32,001
Maybe we can catch him off guard
if we do it on Sunday.
49
00:03:32,335 --> 00:03:34,295
Sunday?
No, no, you can't do it on Sunday.
50
00:03:34,504 --> 00:03:37,882
It's my only day off this week because
I'm working Saturday, remember?
51
00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:40,176
Hey, do it Saturday.
52
00:03:40,426 --> 00:03:42,136
Doug, come on, you gotta be there.
53
00:03:42,345 --> 00:03:44,680
Well, think about it.
First of all, I don't wanna be there.
54
00:03:44,889 --> 00:03:46,098
And they don't want me there.
55
00:03:46,307 --> 00:03:47,517
You know, I'll start drinking.
56
00:03:47,725 --> 00:03:49,936
I'm an angry drunk. I'll pop someone.
57
00:03:50,645 --> 00:03:51,646
That's very nice, Doug.
58
00:03:51,854 --> 00:03:55,733
You can't give up one lousy afternoon
for a man who's turning 75?
59
00:03:55,983 --> 00:03:58,486
- It's not that old.
- It is old.
60
00:03:58,694 --> 00:04:01,364
Do you realise who was president
when he was born?
61
00:04:01,572 --> 00:04:04,242
I can't spell lamb.
62
00:04:15,837 --> 00:04:19,006
Doug, what are you
still doing home?
63
00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:22,218
Trying to enjoy
my two minutes of weekend.
64
00:04:22,635 --> 00:04:24,345
Well, I hope you did,
because they're over.
65
00:04:24,554 --> 00:04:27,056
Now, come on. You gotta get
my father out of the house
66
00:04:27,265 --> 00:04:29,183
so I can start setting up.
67
00:04:29,392 --> 00:04:31,185
Fine.
68
00:04:32,562 --> 00:04:34,897
"Get him out of the house."
You're not the boss of me.
69
00:04:35,731 --> 00:04:37,441
- What'd you say?
- Nothing. Nothing.
70
00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:39,277
So, what excuse are you gonna use?
71
00:04:39,527 --> 00:04:43,197
I don't know, can't we just club him?
When he wakes up, we yell "Surprise."
72
00:04:43,865 --> 00:04:45,700
Doug, you need to get him
out of the house.
73
00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:47,827
All right, all right.
Take a chill pill.
74
00:04:48,077 --> 00:04:49,620
"Take a chill pill"?
75
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:52,457
What's wrong with that?
You say, "It's all good."
76
00:04:52,707 --> 00:04:54,750
All right, just go. Just go.
77
00:05:01,549 --> 00:05:02,925
Hey, guy. What you doing?
78
00:05:03,092 --> 00:05:05,595
I'm watching
this very interesting programme.
79
00:05:05,845 --> 00:05:10,183
Seems this young fella, Screech, has
painted himself into quite a corner.
80
00:05:10,975 --> 00:05:13,728
Listen, I was gonna go out
and get a bite to eat and I thought:
81
00:05:13,936 --> 00:05:16,939
"Hey, you know what,
why not grab the man down under?"
82
00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:19,066
So you up for it?
83
00:05:19,317 --> 00:05:20,776
Thank you, no.
84
00:05:21,027 --> 00:05:24,197
I was thinking maybe we'd swing by
that Skeeball place you like so much.
85
00:05:24,405 --> 00:05:26,657
- So, what do you say? Come on.
- "Passeroo."
86
00:05:29,202 --> 00:05:31,282
Maybe then we'd go
to the bowling alley afterwards...
87
00:05:31,454 --> 00:05:34,040
Sweet Mary, will you take a hint?
88
00:05:37,043 --> 00:05:38,753
You know what? Look, Arthur,
89
00:05:38,961 --> 00:05:44,801
the thing is, you see, I need you
to come with me on an errand.
90
00:05:45,051 --> 00:05:47,345
- What errand?
- I have to pick something up.
91
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:48,846
What?
92
00:05:49,972 --> 00:05:52,308
A great big one of those...
93
00:05:52,558 --> 00:05:54,519
- Fish tank?
- Yeah.
94
00:05:54,769 --> 00:05:56,395
- We're getting fish?
- Yeah.
95
00:05:56,604 --> 00:05:58,231
Been thinking about it
for quite a while.
96
00:05:58,439 --> 00:05:59,440
I love fish.
97
00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:02,151
Well, that's something we share.
So you coming?
98
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,361
Try and stop me.
99
00:06:03,861 --> 00:06:06,531
Hey, did you know
I had a trout farm before the war?
100
00:06:06,697 --> 00:06:08,324
Nope, didn't know that.
101
00:06:08,491 --> 00:06:11,828
Let me tell you, Douglas,
they're very delicate creatures.
102
00:06:12,036 --> 00:06:14,288
I learned that the hard way.
103
00:06:15,832 --> 00:06:17,917
Oh, hey, where are you fellas off to?
104
00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:21,754
Where do you think we're going?
To get the new aquarium.
105
00:06:25,758 --> 00:06:27,885
We may have to get rid of the piano.
106
00:06:33,224 --> 00:06:36,060
This is great, huh?
107
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:38,479
I thought we were
getting an aquarium.
108
00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:39,730
We are, we are.
109
00:06:39,939 --> 00:06:43,359
I just thought we'd spend a little
time just you and me first, you know?
110
00:06:43,568 --> 00:06:48,072
Just the men. The boys.
No pesky women dragging us down.
111
00:06:48,322 --> 00:06:50,032
I don't know where
you're going with this,
112
00:06:50,199 --> 00:06:52,952
but you're making me
very uncomfortable.
113
00:06:55,079 --> 00:06:58,332
We're eating lunch, okay?
Hey, you like the buffet here, right?
114
00:06:58,583 --> 00:06:59,792
- Actually, I do.
- Yeah.
115
00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:03,921
They got hot wings here that'll
singe your short hairs right off.
116
00:07:05,465 --> 00:07:08,134
A little less hungry now, but okay.
117
00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:10,595
The little meatballs
are also marvellous.
118
00:07:10,803 --> 00:07:13,723
Oh, and the brownies, wow.
Out of this world.
119
00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:17,310
- Are you gentlemen ready to order?
- Yeah, I'm gonna go with the buffet.
120
00:07:17,518 --> 00:07:19,687
Nothing for me, thanks.
121
00:07:21,856 --> 00:07:23,232
I thought you wanted the buffet.
122
00:07:23,483 --> 00:07:26,486
Oh, I do. And I'll be having it.
123
00:07:28,654 --> 00:07:30,239
Why are you winking at me?
124
00:07:30,490 --> 00:07:33,159
You just fall off the turnip truck?
125
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:36,996
I'll tell you what I wanna eat,
you slip it to me off your plate
126
00:07:37,205 --> 00:07:40,666
and we walk out of here 6.99 richer.
127
00:07:42,335 --> 00:07:45,338
Oh, God.
Arthur, just let me pay for you.
128
00:07:45,588 --> 00:07:50,009
That's crazy. You're about to invest
in a very expensive aquarium.
129
00:07:50,927 --> 00:07:53,679
It's okay, all right? I can take
the hit. Where's the waiter?
130
00:07:53,888 --> 00:07:56,474
Douglas, I will not sit here
and watch you spend like a madman
131
00:07:56,682 --> 00:07:58,476
just to impress me.
132
00:07:58,726 --> 00:08:00,436
- I'll see you at home.
- Fine, fine, fine.
133
00:08:00,603 --> 00:08:02,313
Look, we can share off
my plate, all right?
134
00:08:02,522 --> 00:08:04,315
That's my boy.
135
00:08:04,857 --> 00:08:07,276
So, what do you want me
to get first?
136
00:08:08,236 --> 00:08:10,905
Just put whatever you want
for yourself on one half of the plate
137
00:08:11,072 --> 00:08:13,741
and the other half,
load it up with beets.
138
00:08:26,129 --> 00:08:27,169
- Dear?
- Yes, Mrs. Hanley?
139
00:08:27,338 --> 00:08:30,716
I'm diabetic
and I can't take any sugar.
140
00:08:30,925 --> 00:08:33,177
- Do you have any Equal?
- Yes, it's right over there.
141
00:08:33,386 --> 00:08:36,222
- Oh, thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
142
00:08:42,353 --> 00:08:45,481
So little Carrie Spooner.
143
00:08:45,731 --> 00:08:49,152
- Hi, Mr. Tepper.
- My, how the years fly by.
144
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,864
It seems like only yesterday
you were a gangly little kid,
145
00:08:53,072 --> 00:08:54,752
you know,
with the pigtails and the braces.
146
00:08:54,949 --> 00:08:57,785
- You remember that?
- Worst years of my life. Yes, I do.
147
00:08:58,369 --> 00:09:02,290
Now look at you. You've blossomed
into a lovely young lady.
148
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,667
- Thank you so much.
- No, I mean it, you're gorgeous.
149
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:08,463
With that velvet skin
and that tight little body.
150
00:09:10,089 --> 00:09:13,551
Yeah, you're probably
as limber as a cat.
151
00:09:14,927 --> 00:09:16,637
Excuse me.
152
00:09:18,139 --> 00:09:20,183
Thank you.
153
00:09:21,934 --> 00:09:25,646
- Oh, Mr. Glassman, hi.
- Hey. Carrie, it's good to see you.
154
00:09:25,855 --> 00:09:27,315
Oh, thank you for coming.
155
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:28,983
Are you kidding?
156
00:09:29,192 --> 00:09:31,694
You think I would miss
a wonderful thing like this?
157
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:33,613
Wild horses couldn't keep me...
158
00:09:33,905 --> 00:09:36,491
Who invited that miserable bastard?
159
00:09:36,741 --> 00:09:37,867
Screw you.
160
00:09:38,284 --> 00:09:40,244
Okay.
161
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,667
I'm ready for a tater tot.
162
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,371
Do you really enjoy eating this way?
163
00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:26,082
Yes, I do.
164
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:28,417
Now, under the guise
of shaking hands,
165
00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:31,504
pass me a stuffed mushroom.
166
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,383
This is where I throw you a no.
167
00:10:35,758 --> 00:10:37,135
Come on, grease me.
168
00:10:37,343 --> 00:10:38,970
Would...?
Do me a favour, take the plate.
169
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:41,472
Are you insane?
The walls have eyes around here.
170
00:10:41,722 --> 00:10:43,933
Do they?
Well, then let's stop stealing, huh?
171
00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:46,018
Why don't you shout it
through a megaphone?
172
00:10:46,227 --> 00:10:48,062
For God's sake, be discreet.
173
00:10:48,312 --> 00:10:49,522
I am being discreet.
174
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,275
Okay? You're the one with
buffalo-wing sauce all over your face.
175
00:10:52,483 --> 00:10:54,360
- Now, just take the plate. Take it.
- No. No.
176
00:10:54,569 --> 00:10:56,487
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
177
00:10:56,737 --> 00:10:58,656
Are you also having the buffet, sir?
178
00:10:58,865 --> 00:11:00,741
How dare you make
such an accusation?
179
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:03,870
- I fought for this country.
- Yes, we have been sharing.
180
00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:06,038
Here's $20 for two buffets,
keep the change.
181
00:11:06,247 --> 00:11:07,248
Thank you.
182
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:09,417
- Hold it, fella.
- Yes, sir?
183
00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:12,128
There was broken glass
in his taco meat.
184
00:11:12,378 --> 00:11:14,505
No, there wasn't.
Okay? It's fine, everything's fine.
185
00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:16,841
Okay, thank you very much.
Thank you.
186
00:11:17,049 --> 00:11:19,552
Arthur, what is going on inside
that head of yours?
187
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,513
Are there two wires that are touching
that shouldn't be?
188
00:11:25,016 --> 00:11:26,225
Is there a leak of some sort?
189
00:11:26,434 --> 00:11:29,645
Because let me tell you,
something is very, very wrong.
190
00:11:30,438 --> 00:11:34,317
I'm going to the bathroom.
When I come back, be fixed.
191
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:40,198
All right, just calm down,
Mr. Glassman.
192
00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:42,248
Have a cold drink,
everything's gonna be fine.
193
00:11:42,492 --> 00:11:45,036
You give a guy a first job
and he stabs you in the back.
194
00:11:45,286 --> 00:11:48,915
Some first job. Taking orders
from that snot-nosed kid of yours.
195
00:11:49,123 --> 00:11:50,151
Okay, Mr. Tepper...
196
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,610
Oh, that's why you did it.
To get even.
197
00:11:52,835 --> 00:11:55,004
I didn't do anything,
you crazy old man.
198
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,716
- Who's old? You're older than me.
- I am not.
199
00:11:58,925 --> 00:12:00,565
- You are older...
- Okay, enough! Enough!
200
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,221
Let's just agree,
you're both old, okay?
201
00:12:03,429 --> 00:12:05,348
Now, come on,
what's the big deal here, huh?
202
00:12:05,556 --> 00:12:07,475
What, did he cheat you
at gin rummy, huh?
203
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:10,269
Forget to return your power mower
on time? What?
204
00:12:10,812 --> 00:12:13,022
He had sex with my wife.
205
00:12:13,731 --> 00:12:16,609
Okay, that's significant.
206
00:12:16,859 --> 00:12:20,112
It's been 40 years and he can't
accept the fact that I did not do it.
207
00:12:20,321 --> 00:12:23,157
Why would I?
She looked like Tony Randall in a wig.
208
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,910
She had to wear a wig.
She had a condition.
209
00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:30,498
Okay, guys, enough. Now, look,
Doug is back with Arthur, okay?
210
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:33,292
He's your friend and you want him
to have a nice party, right?
211
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:34,752
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
212
00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:39,132
Okay, so from now on, no more talk
about who did or didn't do your wife.
213
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:40,424
All right? Let's just smile
214
00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:43,928
and put all our energies
into a nice, robust "Surprise."
215
00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:48,724
Okay? Okay? Alrighty.
Let's get ready. Come on, come on.
216
00:12:53,062 --> 00:12:54,438
Surprise!
217
00:12:54,605 --> 00:12:56,524
Hey, how you doing?
218
00:12:57,859 --> 00:12:59,652
Hon, where is my father?
219
00:13:00,444 --> 00:13:03,573
- I was hoping he came back here.
- No. Why is he not with you?
220
00:13:04,824 --> 00:13:06,617
He got loose.
221
00:13:14,101 --> 00:13:15,644
I went to the bathroom
for two seconds.
222
00:13:15,811 --> 00:13:17,491
When I came back
to the table, he was gone.
223
00:13:17,688 --> 00:13:19,898
All he left was a note
on his placemat.
224
00:13:20,107 --> 00:13:24,153
"Dear Douglas. I'd rather have
a defective head than a cold heart.
225
00:13:24,361 --> 00:13:30,326
So kiss me where the sun don't shine,
and I don't mean London."
226
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:35,331
That's all he wrote?
227
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:38,584
No, he also did the connect-the-dots
on the back.
228
00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:41,545
How do you not see
that's a candy cane?
229
00:13:41,795 --> 00:13:44,214
For God's sakes, Doug,
why'd you have to get so mad at him?
230
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:47,259
I told you, he was acting like a
maniac with his little buffet scheme.
231
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,219
So you handshake him
a few stuffed mushrooms.
232
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:50,908
I've been doing it since I was a kid.
233
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:54,016
Oh, really? Why stop there? Why
don't I just French-kiss him Jell-O?
234
00:13:54,183 --> 00:13:56,143
That'll be good.
235
00:13:58,729 --> 00:14:00,022
I cannot believe you.
236
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:03,400
I give you one thing to do today.
One thing, and you screw it up.
237
00:14:03,651 --> 00:14:05,653
Excuse me,
it was my one day off in two weeks,
238
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:08,364
and it was your idea
to put me in charge of oldie.
239
00:14:08,572 --> 00:14:11,492
Well, it's oldie's birthday.
240
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:12,952
Where are you going?
241
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,245
I am going to find him
and bring him back.
242
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:17,665
Now, just stay here
and keep the party alive.
243
00:14:22,503 --> 00:14:24,755
It's a little late for that.
244
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:26,757
I should be back within an hour,
245
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,093
assuming he's at one
of his usual hangouts.
246
00:14:29,343 --> 00:14:32,012
Well, he's not at OTB
or Nude Nudes.
247
00:14:32,846 --> 00:14:34,723
Thanks.
248
00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,604
Hey, how you doing there?
Hi. How's it going? All right.
249
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:41,893
Hey, how's everybody doing?
250
00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:44,233
Anybody need anything?
No? All right. Great.
251
00:14:44,441 --> 00:14:45,985
I'm just gonna turn on the TV here,
252
00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:47,861
you guys keep talking
about the old times,
253
00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:50,364
how everything used
to cost a nickel and whatnot.
254
00:14:50,614 --> 00:14:53,075
- You Carrie's husband?
- Yeah, yes, I am.
255
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:56,328
Any of your friends
ever have sex with her?
256
00:14:56,537 --> 00:14:59,456
Don't start up again,
you sick, paranoid bastard.
257
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:01,709
You are gonna rot in hell.
258
00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:06,005
Whoa, guys!
Knicks are down by four.
259
00:15:18,309 --> 00:15:20,102
Dad?
260
00:15:21,395 --> 00:15:23,814
Excuse me, is there
an Arthur Spooner in there?
261
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,692
No. Now, shut the door.
262
00:15:27,776 --> 00:15:29,528
I know that's you, Dad.
263
00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:34,116
I'm not Dad, my name is Mr. Wong.
I'm an importer of silk.
264
00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:36,702
Dad, please don't be
Mr. Wong right now.
265
00:15:36,910 --> 00:15:39,455
Come on, I really want you
to come home.
266
00:15:39,663 --> 00:15:44,168
Oh, do you? Well, your husband
clearly doesn't feel the same way.
267
00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:47,921
Dad, would you listen to me...?
Hey, how you doing?
268
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:50,799
Doug is very sorry for what he said.
269
00:15:50,966 --> 00:15:55,387
Well, sorry doesn't pay the butcher.
Now, shut the door.
270
00:15:57,306 --> 00:16:00,809
Don't you go near my car,
Glassman. Don't you...
271
00:16:01,018 --> 00:16:04,855
Oh, my God, you are an animal.
272
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:09,610
All right. All right.
Two can play at that game.
273
00:16:10,861 --> 00:16:13,530
Hey, Doug, do you happen
to own a sledgehammer?
274
00:16:13,697 --> 00:16:16,450
- In the garage.
- Thank you.
275
00:16:16,617 --> 00:16:17,993
Hey, Tepper.
276
00:16:18,994 --> 00:16:22,790
Thanks for leaving your top down.
Made my job a lot easier.
277
00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:27,294
You just bought yourself
a date with my fist.
278
00:16:27,544 --> 00:16:29,964
Oh, come on.
Give me your best shot.
279
00:16:30,214 --> 00:16:32,174
- You'll get my best shot.
- Come on. Bring it on.
280
00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:34,718
It's coming.
It's coming special delivery.
281
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:39,139
- I'll be at home to sign for it.
- Either fight or nap.
282
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,982
You see, what Doug meant was
283
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:54,196
your brain is like a computer.
You know, very intricate and complex.
284
00:16:54,405 --> 00:16:56,782
And if something
was to go wrong inside of it,
285
00:16:56,991 --> 00:17:00,244
then that would make him sad.
286
00:17:00,911 --> 00:17:04,832
Don't try to sugar-coat this, darling.
He clearly despises me.
287
00:17:05,082 --> 00:17:06,208
Oh, that is so not the case.
288
00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:08,544
He took you to lunch.
That proves he likes you, right?
289
00:17:08,752 --> 00:17:11,922
No, it proves he needed someone to
hold up the other end of a fish tank.
290
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:14,049
What a waste
of an afternoon this was.
291
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,844
Believe me, not having the time
of my life either.
292
00:17:17,052 --> 00:17:19,722
Dad, could you please
just get past this and come home?
293
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,099
- Sorry.
- Dad.
294
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:27,896
I am hot and sweaty and I have seen
things in here I will never forget.
295
00:17:28,063 --> 00:17:31,150
- Now, can we please just go home?
- No.
296
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,320
For God's sakes,
could you stop being so selfish?
297
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:34,612
The reason Doug took you out
298
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,864
was because we're having
a surprise party for you.
299
00:17:37,114 --> 00:17:38,657
A surprise party? Really?
300
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:40,826
Yes.
301
00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:42,494
Way to ruin it.
302
00:17:45,914 --> 00:17:48,342
Okay, now, guys, I'd
really like to settle this
303
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,569
before the fourth
quarter starts.
304
00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:55,983
Carl, did you or did you
not sleep with Irv's wife?
305
00:17:56,133 --> 00:17:57,134
I did not.
306
00:17:57,384 --> 00:17:59,720
Well, there you go, case closed.
Feels good, doesn't it?
307
00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:02,139
It was him. I got a witness.
308
00:18:02,389 --> 00:18:04,016
Who's your witness?
309
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,396
All right, Irv, who
was your witness?
310
00:18:06,422 --> 00:18:07,586
Arthur Spooner.
311
00:18:07,811 --> 00:18:13,317
Oh, yeah. He said he saw Carl Tepper
sneaking out of my house at 2 a.m.
312
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:15,694
That's impossible.
I was working the night shift.
313
00:18:15,945 --> 00:18:16,946
Oh, really?
314
00:18:17,154 --> 00:18:19,323
He told me he saw you with my wife
at the Concord Hotel
315
00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:22,034
and inside a bungalow
at Ocean City.
316
00:18:22,284 --> 00:18:24,078
I never been to those places.
317
00:18:24,328 --> 00:18:26,246
Oh, please. Please.
318
00:18:26,455 --> 00:18:30,501
I'm just lucky that every time my wife
was unfaithful, Arthur was there.
319
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:41,637
Happy birthday, dear Arthur
320
00:18:41,845 --> 00:18:46,684
Happy birthday to you
321
00:18:48,477 --> 00:18:50,437
Remember, no one thinks
you know about the party.
322
00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:51,886
So make sure you act surprised.
323
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:55,025
Don't you worry.
I do a wonderful fake heart attack.
324
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:58,654
Yeah, I know.
I remember from our wedding.
325
00:19:02,783 --> 00:19:04,493
All right, now, Dad,
I'm just gonna run in,
326
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,453
make sure everybody's set
to surprise you
327
00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:10,165
and sing "Happy Birthday"
and all that, okay?
328
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,128
- Darling, wait.
- What?
329
00:19:14,378 --> 00:19:17,131
I've given this a lot of thought,
and I've decided I'd prefer
330
00:19:17,298 --> 00:19:18,841
"For He's a Jolly Good Fellow."
331
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:22,094
That's fine. I'll be right back.
332
00:19:30,144 --> 00:19:32,229
What's going on?
Where is everybody?
333
00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:33,731
I sent them home.
334
00:19:33,981 --> 00:19:37,484
What?
Why do you keep losing people?
335
00:19:38,193 --> 00:19:39,353
Hey, back it down, all right?
336
00:19:39,528 --> 00:19:41,905
I saved your father from being
hollowed out by an angry mob.
337
00:19:42,156 --> 00:19:44,617
- What are you talking about?
- Let's say we got to the bottom
338
00:19:44,825 --> 00:19:46,702
of who nailed Marian Glassman.
339
00:19:47,161 --> 00:19:49,079
- Oh, my God. My father?
- Yup.
340
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:52,666
And he blamed it on the other guy.
That's our birthday boy.
341
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,503
- So where is he?
- He's right outside.
342
00:19:56,712 --> 00:19:57,838
- So bring him in.
- I can't.
343
00:19:58,047 --> 00:20:00,716
He thinks there's a surprise party
waiting for him.
344
00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:02,125
Why did you tell him about it?
345
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,511
It was the only way
I could get him to come home.
346
00:20:05,054 --> 00:20:06,889
This is such an honour.
347
00:20:07,097 --> 00:20:10,100
A man is nothing without friends.
348
00:20:13,687 --> 00:20:17,524
This is such an honour.
A man is nothing without friends.
349
00:20:18,442 --> 00:20:20,569
All right, what are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
350
00:20:20,778 --> 00:20:23,197
Should we call neighbours?
Have them come in the back door?
351
00:20:23,405 --> 00:20:25,366
No, they're all much younger
than him.
352
00:20:25,574 --> 00:20:27,701
And he's suing most of them.
353
00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:30,829
Okay, okay. Hey, how about
that soft-yogurt place at the mall?
354
00:20:31,038 --> 00:20:34,208
You ever see that place?
It's like a sea of grey.
355
00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,961
You feel like saying
anything helpful?
356
00:20:37,211 --> 00:20:38,921
Hey, I don't hear you
tossing out any gems.
357
00:20:39,088 --> 00:20:41,271
I'm sorry. I can't
bring that man in here
358
00:20:41,297 --> 00:20:42,999
without a fricking
surprise party.
359
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,521
- It'll kill him.
- So, what do we do?
360
00:20:44,546 --> 00:20:45,839
I don't know. Think.
361
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:53,852
Which nobody can deny
362
00:21:38,115 --> 00:21:41,327
- Hello?
- Better, but be more inviting.
363
00:21:41,535 --> 00:21:43,579
Hello.
364
00:21:43,829 --> 00:21:46,248
Stop it!
365
00:21:48,673 --> 00:21:54,673
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
29093
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof