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1
00:00:04,814 --> 00:00:07,275
Carrie. Car, come on,
we gotta go.
2
00:00:07,484 --> 00:00:08,651
I'm coming.
3
00:00:08,860 --> 00:00:10,570
League starts in 20 minutes.
4
00:00:10,737 --> 00:00:12,280
Will you relax?
5
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,657
Broads...
6
00:00:14,866 --> 00:00:16,284
So where you off to tonight?
7
00:00:16,743 --> 00:00:21,790
Are the bowling shirt
and bowling ball any help or?
8
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:26,085
All right, call off your dogs, sassy.
Just making small talk.
9
00:00:26,419 --> 00:00:28,463
All right, look,
I was out of line there. I'm sorry.
10
00:00:29,088 --> 00:00:30,548
Quite all right.
11
00:00:30,757 --> 00:00:32,467
So where you off to?
12
00:00:34,803 --> 00:00:36,596
Carrie!
13
00:00:36,805 --> 00:00:39,182
Come on, what are you doing?
14
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,142
What are you doing?
15
00:00:41,351 --> 00:00:42,977
Ironing my jeans, I'm almost done.
16
00:00:43,394 --> 00:00:45,021
What was wrong
with the ones you had on?
17
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:47,357
I didn't like the way
my butt looked in those.
18
00:00:47,565 --> 00:00:48,733
Oh, come on.
19
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:52,654
Hey, back it off.
This is between me and my ass.
20
00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:54,528
You'll have to understand,
21
00:00:54,697 --> 00:00:56,658
bowling is all about the way
you look from behind.
22
00:00:56,866 --> 00:00:58,660
Yeah. And you looked fine
in the other ones.
23
00:00:58,827 --> 00:01:01,371
Although I can't say
I'm hating this look.
24
00:01:01,538 --> 00:01:03,248
Get you spread eagle
on a hood of a Camaro,
25
00:01:03,414 --> 00:01:05,708
we got a big-selling poster.
26
00:01:08,545 --> 00:01:10,004
I am done.
27
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,298
Oh, yeah. Put your pants on.
28
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,884
Slow for daddy.
29
00:01:15,385 --> 00:01:16,469
Yeah.
30
00:01:16,678 --> 00:01:18,721
- Shut up, would you please?
- Yeah.
31
00:01:18,888 --> 00:01:20,598
Okay. Nice.
32
00:01:20,807 --> 00:01:23,601
- Let's go, Slammo.
- Thank God.
33
00:01:23,768 --> 00:01:25,812
Oh, yeah.
34
00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:56,830
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:59,256 --> 00:02:03,302
All right. The Cooper's
Onion Ringers have arrived.
36
00:02:03,468 --> 00:02:05,262
Yeah!
37
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,389
Okay, nobody seems to care.
38
00:02:07,598 --> 00:02:09,474
That's because they're all losers.
39
00:02:09,641 --> 00:02:11,685
All right, people, let's push
some tables together.
40
00:02:11,852 --> 00:02:13,492
- Yeah.
- Three pitchers, right over here.
41
00:02:13,687 --> 00:02:15,567
- Spence, nice bowling tonight, cutie.
- Thanks.
42
00:02:15,772 --> 00:02:17,316
Gosh, the man can't run,
he can't jump,
43
00:02:17,482 --> 00:02:19,943
he can barely walk,
but, damn it, he can roll a ball.
44
00:02:20,152 --> 00:02:21,695
Magic fingers. I got magic fingers.
45
00:02:21,904 --> 00:02:23,155
- Yeah.
- Iannucci,
46
00:02:23,363 --> 00:02:26,074
obviously trying to impress
someone into having sex with him.
47
00:02:26,283 --> 00:02:29,620
I don't know, I wasn't that impressed.
Just scored a 135.
48
00:02:29,786 --> 00:02:32,706
Hey, hey, a 191. I gets no love?
49
00:02:32,873 --> 00:02:34,666
Deac, you and I,
we're the legends, you know?
50
00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:36,501
We don't talk about it,
we just do it.
51
00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:40,213
Yeah, a 191, I wanna talk about it.
52
00:02:40,422 --> 00:02:42,049
Hey, how about Carrie
over here, huh?
53
00:02:42,257 --> 00:02:43,800
Hey, my lovely wife, huh?
54
00:02:43,967 --> 00:02:47,220
Gutting her way
to a personal best score of 47.
55
00:02:47,387 --> 00:02:48,847
Oh, yeah.
56
00:02:50,432 --> 00:02:51,433
Sucky bowler right here.
57
00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:53,769
- Can't bowl for crap, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
58
00:02:53,977 --> 00:02:56,104
- But her ass was in great form, huh?
- Thank you.
59
00:02:56,355 --> 00:02:57,689
- Yes, Carrie.
- Your wife's ugly.
60
00:02:57,856 --> 00:02:59,024
Nice ugly.
61
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,985
All right, if you guys will excuse me,
I'm gonna go stop in on Bobby
62
00:03:02,152 --> 00:03:03,352
and pick up our league cheque,
63
00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:06,323
so do me a favour,
order me several thousand hot wings.
64
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,533
Bobby. Yo, Bobby.
65
00:03:09,284 --> 00:03:13,205
Bobby. Hey, you're not Bobby.
Where's Bobby?
66
00:03:13,538 --> 00:03:16,416
I fired Bobby. Who are you?
67
00:03:16,625 --> 00:03:19,002
Oh, I was just... I was...
Who are you?
68
00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:20,921
My name is Bruce Degner.
69
00:03:21,171 --> 00:03:25,092
- Oh, so you're the new Bobby.
- No, I'm not the new Bobby.
70
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:28,804
My father-in-law owns this place.
He just had a massive brain aneurysm,
71
00:03:29,012 --> 00:03:30,639
which he richly deserves.
72
00:03:31,348 --> 00:03:34,101
So now I have to spend time
I don't have away from my law practice
73
00:03:34,268 --> 00:03:36,228
to come in here every night
and sit and look over
74
00:03:36,436 --> 00:03:39,690
this random heap
of Post-its and napkins
75
00:03:39,856 --> 00:03:42,234
that passes around here
for a ledger,
76
00:03:42,401 --> 00:03:45,737
something I'm trying
very hard to do right now,
77
00:03:45,904 --> 00:03:48,991
which brings me back to my original,
still unanswered question:
78
00:03:49,157 --> 00:03:50,492
Who are you?
79
00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:52,119
Hi, I'm Doug. Doug Heffernan.
80
00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:55,414
I'm a member
of the bowling team you sponsor.
81
00:03:55,622 --> 00:03:59,209
Member, I'm actually the captain.
82
00:03:59,459 --> 00:04:00,877
So, what do you want, captain?
83
00:04:01,086 --> 00:04:05,215
It's just that Bobby,
who I did not like,
84
00:04:05,799 --> 00:04:08,510
was supposed to leave me a cheque
for our league dues this month.
85
00:04:08,719 --> 00:04:10,762
Swell, because this place
really isn't haemorrhaging
86
00:04:10,971 --> 00:04:12,681
quite enough money yet.
87
00:04:12,848 --> 00:04:14,016
All right, how much?
88
00:04:14,266 --> 00:04:15,267
It's $1,500.
89
00:04:15,475 --> 00:04:18,186
Boy, it's getting cold down here.
Were you outside?
90
00:04:18,395 --> 00:04:20,522
Fifteen hundred? For the year?
91
00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:22,649
Well, if you mean
calendar year, yes.
92
00:04:22,858 --> 00:04:24,985
There's another 1,500 due
in the middle of the season,
93
00:04:25,193 --> 00:04:26,737
but that's way, way off.
94
00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:28,238
So let me get this straight,
95
00:04:28,405 --> 00:04:31,408
Cooper's has been paying
you people $3,000 a year...
96
00:04:31,658 --> 00:04:34,411
- No, a season.
- A season to bowl?
97
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:36,747
Can I assume that you are
some of the finest bowlers
98
00:04:36,955 --> 00:04:39,333
in the history of mankind?
99
00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:42,711
If you want to.
100
00:04:43,962 --> 00:04:45,839
Sorry, Doug, I can't do it.
101
00:04:46,048 --> 00:04:48,342
Hey, come on, Bruce.
You can't just drop us.
102
00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:50,427
The Cooper's bowling team
is a great tradition.
103
00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,846
Plus, it's great for business too,
you know?
104
00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:54,318
People see us bowling
out there
105
00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:56,141
wearing these shirts that
say Cooper's.
106
00:04:56,183 --> 00:05:00,270
You know, and they think
to themselves... Cooper's.
107
00:05:00,437 --> 00:05:02,064
- You with me?
- I think so.
108
00:05:02,272 --> 00:05:04,149
Yeah, plus, when we win
a big championship,
109
00:05:04,358 --> 00:05:06,902
there's an article in the newspaper,
pictures, more publicity...
110
00:05:07,152 --> 00:05:09,112
- You're a championship team?
- Did I say that?
111
00:05:09,321 --> 00:05:10,489
Yes.
112
00:05:10,948 --> 00:05:12,115
Well, no, no, no. We're not,
113
00:05:12,282 --> 00:05:16,453
but we often make incredible
comebacks that fall just short.
114
00:05:16,662 --> 00:05:19,998
- Doug, you seem like a nice guy.
- So do you.
115
00:05:20,207 --> 00:05:21,792
But it just doesn't make
any sense to me
116
00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:25,462
to sponsor a bowling team
unless it wins.
117
00:05:25,712 --> 00:05:27,506
Even then,
it's hard to get too enthusiastic.
118
00:05:27,714 --> 00:05:29,841
- Yeah, but the shirts...
- Yes, I know the shirts.
119
00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:31,051
Yes, yes, yes,
120
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:34,263
but, look, I guess if you did well,
121
00:05:34,429 --> 00:05:36,473
the publicity
would be good for business.
122
00:05:36,682 --> 00:05:39,059
I'll tell you what,
you do what you gotta do
123
00:05:39,268 --> 00:05:41,728
and show me you got a shot
at winning one of those trophies,
124
00:05:41,937 --> 00:05:44,481
you know, with a guy on top
with the sweater and the silver,
125
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,233
and I'll write you a cheque,
you got it?
126
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,200
I got it. I promise,
we'll kick it up a notch.
127
00:05:48,402 --> 00:05:50,195
- See how you do on Wednesday.
- All right.
128
00:05:50,362 --> 00:05:52,072
You know what?
Even if we lose though,
129
00:05:52,239 --> 00:05:55,075
I could always just buy you
one of those trophies, you know?
130
00:05:55,951 --> 00:05:57,828
Or I could just stand
in your office like this:
131
00:05:57,995 --> 00:06:00,122
You know, be the one-legged...
132
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:02,541
All right, man, thank you.
133
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:07,629
Now when we lose, it's only
by an average of about 40 pins,
134
00:06:07,879 --> 00:06:11,300
so just one more strike, you know,
per game from each of us
135
00:06:11,466 --> 00:06:12,718
ought to do it.
136
00:06:13,427 --> 00:06:15,304
That's it, just one more strike each.
137
00:06:16,346 --> 00:06:20,434
Or two of us have to get
two more strikes each.
138
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:25,647
Or we each take a turn
bowling a perfect game.
139
00:06:27,441 --> 00:06:30,611
All right, I know.
It's Carrie, she stinks.
140
00:06:30,777 --> 00:06:32,112
She's stinky Carrie.
141
00:06:32,321 --> 00:06:34,197
What am I supposed to do?
I can't fire my wife.
142
00:06:34,448 --> 00:06:36,241
If you don't,
we're not gonna have a team.
143
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:37,618
Then, you know what?
Screw it.
144
00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:39,119
We don't need the league, right?
145
00:06:39,286 --> 00:06:41,330
What is that?
"Oh, free lane time, free food."
146
00:06:41,538 --> 00:06:44,541
I say we all get together and bowl
on another night, like regular people.
147
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,919
- You wanna?
- No.
148
00:06:47,336 --> 00:06:48,879
Oh, God.
149
00:06:49,046 --> 00:06:51,965
Come on, Doug, we've been bowling
in a league for three years.
150
00:06:52,132 --> 00:06:57,429
That's the life we know.
We're not like the others anymore.
151
00:06:58,805 --> 00:07:01,183
All right, anyway, look,
we gotta have two women out of six,
152
00:07:01,391 --> 00:07:03,435
league rules. So who we gonna
get to replace Carrie?
153
00:07:03,644 --> 00:07:05,938
Go with Pam DiMeo, who I wanted
to get in the first place.
154
00:07:06,146 --> 00:07:07,522
- She's awesome.
- Can you get her?
155
00:07:07,689 --> 00:07:11,610
- Yeah, I work with her brother...
- This is Carrie we're talking about.
156
00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,487
You guys are like a pack
of wild dingoes,
157
00:07:13,695 --> 00:07:18,492
you know, biting into her flesh
and pulling her off the bowling team.
158
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,744
Come on, Moose,
don't be putting this on us.
159
00:07:20,953 --> 00:07:23,497
When we put this team together,
we wanted to be good, remember?
160
00:07:23,664 --> 00:07:25,249
- You more than anybody.
- He's right.
161
00:07:25,415 --> 00:07:28,168
Yeah. One day, you just pranced in
and said, "Carrie's on the team."
162
00:07:28,335 --> 00:07:30,045
- And that was it.
- I know. I know.
163
00:07:30,254 --> 00:07:31,880
She was like, "Oh, bowling.
I wanna play.
164
00:07:32,089 --> 00:07:33,674
How much fun
would that be to play?"
165
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,801
First of all, you don't even
play bowling, okay?
166
00:07:36,009 --> 00:07:38,762
You go bowling.
167
00:07:40,722 --> 00:07:43,684
- You should have just nixed it then.
- Nix it how?
168
00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:45,894
By not mentioning it to begin with,
that's how.
169
00:07:46,103 --> 00:07:49,606
I mean, Kelly didn't know I was in
a bowling league till year two.
170
00:07:49,856 --> 00:07:51,233
This is brutal.
171
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,404
Now we're either gonna fire my wife
or just let the team just fall apart.
172
00:07:55,571 --> 00:07:56,738
It's like...
173
00:07:56,947 --> 00:07:59,408
It's like Sophie's Choice.
174
00:08:00,367 --> 00:08:01,451
Not really.
175
00:08:02,327 --> 00:08:04,288
No? What was
Sophie's choice again?
176
00:08:04,538 --> 00:08:07,708
She had to decide which
of her children to give to the Nazis.
177
00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:10,085
Okay, yeah, that's harder.
178
00:08:11,003 --> 00:08:13,380
- What am I gonna do?
- Pull her aside and say...
179
00:08:13,589 --> 00:08:15,465
- If I don't...
- Hey, guys, what's up?
180
00:08:15,632 --> 00:08:16,967
What's up?
181
00:08:18,719 --> 00:08:20,762
What, did I interrupt something?
182
00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:22,848
You guys talking about chicks?
183
00:08:23,473 --> 00:08:25,601
See a nice rack?
184
00:08:26,727 --> 00:08:29,271
Nice set of ta-tas?
185
00:08:30,022 --> 00:08:33,025
Yes. Two.
186
00:08:43,243 --> 00:08:44,786
Okay,
187
00:08:46,121 --> 00:08:47,581
that sucked.
188
00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:50,834
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it did.
189
00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:52,711
Diet Coke me, baby.
190
00:08:52,878 --> 00:08:54,588
You know what?
191
00:08:54,755 --> 00:08:58,425
Just for fun, why don't we try to,
like, bowl really well?
192
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,942
Are your sideburns longer?
193
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:03,652
I don't know, maybe.
194
00:09:03,861 --> 00:09:06,071
Look, Wednesday night we're playing
Hey Eddie's Pizza,
195
00:09:06,238 --> 00:09:07,781
and I just wanna beat them.
196
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:10,868
- Oh, why? I like their pizza.
- That's not the point.
197
00:09:11,076 --> 00:09:13,537
I just think we should try
to win more often,
198
00:09:13,704 --> 00:09:15,414
because winning is good,
you know?
199
00:09:15,581 --> 00:09:19,960
- It means you've won.
- Okay.
200
00:09:20,169 --> 00:09:21,253
- Let's practise.
- Yeah.
201
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:23,547
Okay, great.
Okay, let me break it down for you.
202
00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:24,798
- All right?
- Okay.
203
00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:26,768
Now, it's very simple, all right?
It's here.
204
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:31,180
It's one, two, three, four.
205
00:09:33,515 --> 00:09:35,559
Yeah. Yeah, see?
206
00:09:35,726 --> 00:09:39,313
See right there, you use the arrows
in the lane, they're your friends.
207
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,149
- Okay, let me try, let me try.
- All right. Great, great, great.
208
00:09:42,357 --> 00:09:43,525
- Okay.
- Okay.
209
00:09:43,692 --> 00:09:45,319
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah. Nice and easy.
210
00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:47,571
- Here we go.
- Okay. Okay.
211
00:09:47,779 --> 00:09:51,617
Okay, it's one, two...
Okay, four.
212
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,828
- Okay, you forgot three.
- Yeah, I skipped three.
213
00:09:55,037 --> 00:09:56,038
- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
214
00:09:56,246 --> 00:10:00,250
Okay. Here, let me try to teach you
a little something about form.
215
00:10:00,417 --> 00:10:02,544
- Come here.
- Okay, teach away, Mr. Kotter.
216
00:10:02,753 --> 00:10:04,796
- Okay.
- Okay, baby.
217
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,632
All right, remember now,
it's here first.
218
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:11,011
Then you come up,
one, two, three, four.
219
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,222
No. Okay, Carrie, come on.
Carrie, come on.
220
00:10:13,388 --> 00:10:15,028
- You copped a feel there too.
- I didn't.
221
00:10:15,224 --> 00:10:17,601
- Yeah, you did.
- Knock it off!
222
00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,645
I wanna win
on Wednesday, okay?
223
00:10:19,978 --> 00:10:21,522
What's the big deal?
224
00:10:21,772 --> 00:10:23,315
I just wanna beat Hey Eddie's.
225
00:10:23,524 --> 00:10:24,775
Why?
226
00:10:25,484 --> 00:10:27,027
They don't use enough sauce.
227
00:10:29,488 --> 00:10:31,281
All right.
228
00:10:31,448 --> 00:10:34,952
Talk to me here.
What the hell is going on?
229
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,914
Look, it's the new guy
running Cooper's, all right?
230
00:10:39,081 --> 00:10:41,208
He's not gonna sponsor the team
unless we get better.
231
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:44,586
Yeah. In fact, if we don't win
on Wednesday, it's over.
232
00:10:44,753 --> 00:10:46,713
That's why I wanted you to practise.
233
00:10:46,964 --> 00:10:50,217
- Because I'm the weak link, got it.
- I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
234
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:52,761
I just thought, maybe, you know,
235
00:10:52,928 --> 00:10:55,055
if you improve, you might become
one of those bowlers
236
00:10:55,264 --> 00:10:59,017
that actually knocks pins down.
237
00:10:59,852 --> 00:11:02,062
Okay, well, let me save you
some time here.
238
00:11:02,271 --> 00:11:04,566
I suck at bowling,
and I always will.
239
00:11:04,592 --> 00:11:05,799
Don't say that.
240
00:11:06,024 --> 00:11:09,778
Doug, stop it, will you?
I'm not gonna get any better.
241
00:11:13,657 --> 00:11:17,411
So, what is it?
You want me off the team? Is that it?
242
00:11:17,619 --> 00:11:20,372
No, I don't want you off the team.
243
00:11:20,539 --> 00:11:21,915
Why, you wanna be off the team?
244
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:26,128
Well, if I'm gonna ruin it
for everybody else...
245
00:11:27,379 --> 00:11:29,256
Sure you're okay with this?
246
00:11:30,674 --> 00:11:33,927
I guess I have to be, don't I?
247
00:11:39,224 --> 00:11:42,394
Hey, who's up for lemon ice's?
248
00:11:53,876 --> 00:11:55,044
Hey, Bruce.
249
00:11:55,295 --> 00:11:56,713
- Oh, hello.
- How's it going?
250
00:11:56,879 --> 00:11:59,340
Hey, how's your father-in-law doing?
Is he feeling any better?
251
00:11:59,549 --> 00:12:02,885
He flatlined
for over a minute yesterday.
252
00:12:04,929 --> 00:12:07,223
- So, what else is up?
- Do you want something?
253
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:09,434
Yeah, actually,
I wanna talk to you about the team.
254
00:12:09,601 --> 00:12:10,685
- Team?
- The bowling team.
255
00:12:10,935 --> 00:12:14,606
- Oh, yeah.
- We've got kind of a little problem.
256
00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:18,901
I mean, the bowling team is great,
except for one person, not so great.
257
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:21,571
You know?
Never gonna win with this person.
258
00:12:21,779 --> 00:12:25,116
And this person turns out to be,
wouldn't you know it,
259
00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:27,368
my wife, yeah.
260
00:12:27,827 --> 00:12:30,663
Six dollars for a urinal cake.
It's madness.
261
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:33,374
We ought to make people
bring their own.
262
00:12:33,917 --> 00:12:35,710
- My wife.
- What about her?
263
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,087
- Bad... She's the bad bowler.
- And?
264
00:12:38,338 --> 00:12:39,839
And I guess, you know,
what I'm asking
265
00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:43,092
is if you wouldn't mind overlooking
the whole not winning thing,
266
00:12:43,259 --> 00:12:45,053
you know, so I could
keep her on the team.
267
00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:47,180
Otherwise, at home,
I'm gonna hear a lot of:
268
00:12:49,682 --> 00:12:53,102
- Yeah. I know what that's like.
- Yeah.
269
00:12:53,269 --> 00:12:55,396
- Wanna hear a funny story?
- Sure.
270
00:12:55,605 --> 00:12:59,108
About a year or so ago,
my wife is all stressed out,
271
00:12:59,317 --> 00:13:01,110
for what reason, God only knows.
272
00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:03,988
She decides
she's gonna take a yoga class.
273
00:13:04,155 --> 00:13:06,115
- Yoga, right?
- Oh, yeah. Right, right, right.
274
00:13:06,282 --> 00:13:08,190
The feet behind the
head, it's crazy.
275
00:13:08,993 --> 00:13:10,536
So she starts
going three times a week,
276
00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:13,873
and it works. I mean,
she's relaxed, she's happy.
277
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,833
- You know why?
- Why?
278
00:13:16,042 --> 00:13:19,128
It turns out she was having a great
deal of sex with the instructor.
279
00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:23,216
Oh, my God.
Oh, man, that is so...
280
00:13:24,259 --> 00:13:25,885
Yeah.
281
00:13:26,636 --> 00:13:31,099
The point is, we all have problems
with our wives, don't we?
282
00:13:34,143 --> 00:13:36,437
I guess so, yeah.
283
00:13:42,610 --> 00:13:44,737
- Hey.
- Hey.
284
00:13:44,946 --> 00:13:46,114
I'm just...
285
00:13:46,614 --> 00:13:48,491
I gotta head off to the...
286
00:13:48,992 --> 00:13:51,452
It's time for me to go...
287
00:13:51,995 --> 00:13:53,705
You know.
288
00:13:54,497 --> 00:13:56,124
Yes, I know.
289
00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:57,667
All right. Alrighty.
290
00:13:57,834 --> 00:13:59,627
Well, you have a great night.
291
00:13:59,794 --> 00:14:01,337
- I love you. Okay?
- Love you too.
292
00:14:01,546 --> 00:14:02,630
- See you later.
- Okay.
293
00:14:02,839 --> 00:14:04,424
- Hello, Douglas.
- Hey.
294
00:14:04,591 --> 00:14:06,467
What's going on?
295
00:14:07,051 --> 00:14:09,429
- Isn't she bowling tonight?
- No, Dad.
296
00:14:10,888 --> 00:14:12,682
Why isn't she bowling tonight?
297
00:14:13,474 --> 00:14:16,811
- She...
- I'm not on the team anymore.
298
00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:19,856
Why not?
299
00:14:21,065 --> 00:14:23,526
Is she injured?
300
00:14:25,903 --> 00:14:28,114
No, the guy at Cooper's
told Doug
301
00:14:28,323 --> 00:14:31,743
that the team has to start
winning more or he won't sponsor it.
302
00:14:32,619 --> 00:14:34,746
So you fire her off the team?
303
00:14:35,705 --> 00:14:39,542
- No, I just...
- No, I agreed to quit, Dad.
304
00:14:40,084 --> 00:14:42,378
And you just let her quit?
305
00:14:43,338 --> 00:14:46,215
- It's okay, Dad.
- It is not okay.
306
00:14:46,424 --> 00:14:48,635
We're talking about disloyalty
and backstabbing.
307
00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:52,513
And for what?
A free night of bowling?
308
00:14:52,764 --> 00:14:55,850
Excuse me, honey,
but I don't like the smell in here.
309
00:14:58,561 --> 00:15:00,104
Okay. Be back by 10.
310
00:15:04,666 --> 00:15:07,293
Oh, here he is.
Well, thanks for showing up.
311
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,587
Sorry. Had a little trouble
getting out of the house.
312
00:15:09,796 --> 00:15:11,756
Doug, this is our new teammate,
Pam DiMeo.
313
00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:14,801
- Hey, how you doing, buddy?
- Whoa, hey.
314
00:15:15,051 --> 00:15:16,386
All right, it's time to focus.
315
00:15:16,553 --> 00:15:18,012
We're fighting for our lives here.
316
00:15:18,179 --> 00:15:20,473
- Hey Eddie's Pizza's going down.
- Yeah.
317
00:15:20,682 --> 00:15:21,760
Moose, you're up. Let's go.
318
00:15:21,786 --> 00:15:23,543
All right, let's get
down to business.
319
00:15:23,685 --> 00:15:25,979
- No, he's Moose.
- Yeah.
320
00:15:27,355 --> 00:15:29,232
- Come on, Dougie.
- Go. Come on.
321
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,152
- Come on.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
322
00:15:35,196 --> 00:15:37,991
- All right, come on, pick it up.
- Spare it up, Dougie boy.
323
00:15:38,158 --> 00:15:40,118
- Yeah.
- Sparing it up.
324
00:15:40,285 --> 00:15:43,788
Sparing it up. Up it will be spared.
325
00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:13,693
Yeah.
326
00:16:23,161 --> 00:16:25,455
Okay, you know
what your problem is?
327
00:16:25,622 --> 00:16:27,999
You're not thinking
about what you're doing.
328
00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:31,044
Think. Think.
329
00:16:35,798 --> 00:16:37,759
Don't think.
330
00:16:37,967 --> 00:16:41,137
Clear your head, nice and easy.
331
00:16:44,224 --> 00:16:47,143
Oh, mother of crap.
332
00:16:51,856 --> 00:16:56,653
Okay, it's one, two, three, four.
333
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:58,446
The arrows are your friends.
334
00:16:58,613 --> 00:17:00,573
You fired your wife
from the bowling team.
335
00:17:00,782 --> 00:17:03,868
Oh, you're an ugly, ugly man.
336
00:17:04,035 --> 00:17:06,746
Oh, look at that,
the Brunswick man wears a crown.
337
00:17:06,913 --> 00:17:08,456
Come on, focus, focus.
338
00:17:08,623 --> 00:17:11,501
Focus on the ball. Or on the pins.
339
00:17:11,668 --> 00:17:14,587
One or the other.
You fired your wife.
340
00:17:20,468 --> 00:17:22,512
It's okay. I'm doing good.
I'm actually... I'm good.
341
00:17:22,679 --> 00:17:24,889
I'm good. They all know I'm good.
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
342
00:17:25,056 --> 00:17:26,696
Good bowler. Big Doug.
Big, big, big Doug.
343
00:17:26,891 --> 00:17:28,771
Good bowler. Where's the ball?
Where's the ball?
344
00:17:28,977 --> 00:17:30,520
Oh, what's the difference?
345
00:17:30,687 --> 00:17:31,855
Really. What does it matter?
346
00:17:32,021 --> 00:17:33,189
Use the arrows. Why?
347
00:17:33,398 --> 00:17:38,027
Why? You don't deserve
to use those arrows!
348
00:17:41,823 --> 00:17:44,450
Shut up, Hey Eddie's!
349
00:17:50,081 --> 00:17:51,875
Honey, honey...
350
00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:54,335
Hey, Bruce, can I talk to you?
351
00:17:54,502 --> 00:17:57,463
Look, honey, if the doctor says
it's time to pull the plug,
352
00:17:57,630 --> 00:18:00,008
he must have a good reason.
353
00:18:00,258 --> 00:18:03,928
And plus that nurse also thought
it was time, don't forget that.
354
00:18:04,762 --> 00:18:06,222
- One second.
- Hang on, honey,
355
00:18:06,431 --> 00:18:07,515
there's a guy in my office.
356
00:18:07,765 --> 00:18:09,142
That... Fine, just lie down,
357
00:18:09,309 --> 00:18:11,936
and put the doctor on. All right.
What do you want?
358
00:18:12,145 --> 00:18:14,606
I just wanna let you know
that the bowling team won tonight.
359
00:18:14,856 --> 00:18:16,191
Yes. There is a God.
360
00:18:16,357 --> 00:18:17,734
Hello, doctor. Dr. Goldman?
361
00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:19,541
- This is Bruce Degner.
- And, and, and...
362
00:18:19,736 --> 00:18:20,737
Hold on, doctor.
363
00:18:20,945 --> 00:18:22,989
I also want you to know
that I'm quitting the team.
364
00:18:23,156 --> 00:18:24,949
But don't worry,
everything will be fine,
365
00:18:25,158 --> 00:18:26,951
because my friend Deacon,
you don't know him,
366
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,621
he's a good guy, he's gonna be
taking over as the new captain.
367
00:18:29,829 --> 00:18:31,372
He'll get a great bowler
to replace me.
368
00:18:31,539 --> 00:18:33,666
They're gonna get you
one of those trophies, you know?
369
00:18:33,917 --> 00:18:36,044
Doug, do you have any idea
what's going on here?
370
00:18:36,211 --> 00:18:39,547
I'm about to give my permission
to make a man stop living.
371
00:18:39,714 --> 00:18:41,424
No, no, that was not official.
372
00:18:41,633 --> 00:18:43,092
Right, right.
No, I understand that.
373
00:18:43,259 --> 00:18:45,470
I wanted to make sure
that we're on the same page, okay?
374
00:18:45,678 --> 00:18:47,305
I'm out, Deacon's in,
great bowling team,
375
00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:50,183
- you'll keep writing those cheques.
- It all sounds so wonderful.
376
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:51,390
- Now please leave.
- Okay.
377
00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:52,852
I'm out of here. You know what?
378
00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:54,521
Good luck
with the plug pulling thing.
379
00:18:54,687 --> 00:18:57,148
I'm sure you'll make
the right decision,
380
00:18:57,398 --> 00:18:59,526
unlike pulling the mozzarella sticks
from the menu.
381
00:19:00,026 --> 00:19:02,487
We can go over that
another time.
382
00:19:06,282 --> 00:19:08,243
Famous H's for 300.
383
00:19:09,327 --> 00:19:12,831
She's the face
that launched a thousand ships.
384
00:19:13,122 --> 00:19:14,207
I don't know.
385
00:19:14,415 --> 00:19:15,583
From Troy.
386
00:19:17,168 --> 00:19:18,795
- Not sure.
- Helen of Troy.
387
00:19:18,962 --> 00:19:21,339
- I still don't know.
- That's the answer.
388
00:19:22,382 --> 00:19:23,758
- Hey.
- Hey.
389
00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:25,802
- How was bowling?
- Yeah, how was it?
390
00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:28,680
After firing your wife,
did you find a little chippy?
391
00:19:28,847 --> 00:19:30,557
Did you?
392
00:19:30,765 --> 00:19:31,850
Mr. Arnold?
393
00:19:33,184 --> 00:19:35,061
Benedict Arnold?
394
00:19:35,728 --> 00:19:38,398
Famous traitor?
Revolutionary War?
395
00:19:39,983 --> 00:19:42,819
Doesn't anybody
read a book around here?
396
00:19:44,821 --> 00:19:46,614
He's still pretty mad at you.
397
00:19:46,823 --> 00:19:49,033
You might not wanna use
the shampoo.
398
00:19:50,201 --> 00:19:52,328
Thanks for the warning.
399
00:19:52,579 --> 00:19:55,915
So you guys
went pretty late tonight, huh?
400
00:19:56,332 --> 00:20:00,545
Well, actually, I stopped by Cooper's
after, and I quit the team.
401
00:20:00,753 --> 00:20:03,131
You quit the team? Why?
402
00:20:03,339 --> 00:20:06,926
Why? You know this wasn't working.
Me on the team, you not on the team,
403
00:20:07,135 --> 00:20:08,845
all the unspoken tension.
404
00:20:09,053 --> 00:20:13,183
You know, we pass in the morning,
"Oh, hello. You're looking well."
405
00:20:14,476 --> 00:20:16,936
Okay, which one of us said that?
406
00:20:17,145 --> 00:20:20,148
Look, you know what I mean, all right?
I mean, I felt bad, you know?
407
00:20:20,315 --> 00:20:25,111
I was thinking about you all night,
and I bowled an 80.
408
00:20:26,029 --> 00:20:29,032
Oh, you sucked because of me?
409
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,867
That's so sweet.
410
00:20:31,075 --> 00:20:33,536
But, honey, you shouldn't
have quit the team.
411
00:20:33,703 --> 00:20:36,372
I should've. This is the first time
in a week you're not depressed.
412
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:39,876
Well, yes, that's because I'm touched
that you were willing to quit.
413
00:20:40,084 --> 00:20:41,461
So it is good that I quit?
414
00:20:41,669 --> 00:20:43,963
No, it's not good that you quit.
415
00:20:44,214 --> 00:20:46,090
Okay, what is this, a riddle?
416
00:20:46,966 --> 00:20:48,766
Look, Doug,
I don't want you to quit the team.
417
00:20:48,968 --> 00:20:53,765
I never wanted you to quit the team.
I just wanted you to want to quit.
418
00:20:54,015 --> 00:20:55,415
Well, why didn't you just say that?
419
00:20:55,642 --> 00:20:56,682
Well, I couldn't say that.
420
00:20:56,851 --> 00:20:59,813
If I had said that, then you
wouldn't really be wanting to quit,
421
00:20:59,979 --> 00:21:04,359
you would just be wanting it
because I wanted you to want it.
422
00:21:05,068 --> 00:21:07,904
Okay, if you don't make sense,
I'm gonna tackle you.
423
00:21:09,322 --> 00:21:12,158
I want you on the team.
424
00:21:13,910 --> 00:21:18,790
So let me understand this,
there's no actual plug, per se?
425
00:21:20,959 --> 00:21:22,836
Got a sec?
426
00:21:28,947 --> 00:21:29,948
I don't understand.
427
00:21:30,157 --> 00:21:32,826
What is it?
That I'm an older gentleman?
428
00:21:32,993 --> 00:21:34,328
Because let me tell you, darling,
429
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:37,581
I'll treat you like no man
you've ever been with.
430
00:21:38,457 --> 00:21:41,084
No, thanks, buddy.
431
00:21:41,293 --> 00:21:44,129
Playing hard to get, I like it.
432
00:21:48,054 --> 00:21:54,054
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