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1
00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:10,818
I get so sad
when my food is coming to an end.
2
00:00:12,195 --> 00:00:14,614
I know you do, honey.
3
00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:18,701
You know, you start seeing
the bottom of the container
4
00:00:18,868 --> 00:00:22,163
and you know it's almost over.
5
00:00:37,094 --> 00:00:39,096
Hey, what you got there?
6
00:00:39,514 --> 00:00:41,140
The one you brought in for me.
7
00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:45,144
- Do you want it?
- No, I shouldn't.
8
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:46,687
Then, don't.
9
00:01:08,251 --> 00:01:09,961
I'm getting sad again.
10
00:01:36,225 --> 00:01:42,225
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:01:50,851 --> 00:01:52,144
What's with that shirt?
12
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:55,105
This? It's velour.
13
00:01:55,814 --> 00:01:56,857
It's nice.
14
00:01:57,024 --> 00:01:59,026
My mother's got a toilet seat cover
like that.
15
00:02:01,028 --> 00:02:03,030
What's up, boys? Slide it on over.
16
00:02:03,196 --> 00:02:08,410
Do me a favour and make a little room
for the IPS driver of the Month.
17
00:02:08,619 --> 00:02:09,995
- Nice work, man.
- Yup.
18
00:02:10,203 --> 00:02:12,497
Number one on-time record,
number one delivery record
19
00:02:12,664 --> 00:02:15,042
and fewest lost packages.
20
00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:18,921
Driver of the Month.
21
00:02:19,454 --> 00:02:21,725
I put a fire out
at a nursery school.
22
00:02:21,751 --> 00:02:22,582
Yeah? That's good.
23
00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:24,334
Could we get a pitcher of beer
over here?
24
00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:26,420
Anything you want tonight, boys.
I'm buying.
25
00:02:26,628 --> 00:02:27,796
So, what do you get for this?
26
00:02:27,963 --> 00:02:29,631
A trophy with a little truck on top?
27
00:02:29,798 --> 00:02:31,216
Hey, for your information,
28
00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:34,845
they gave my man four Mets tickets
in the IPS box for this Saturday.
29
00:02:35,012 --> 00:02:36,180
Front row.
30
00:02:36,388 --> 00:02:38,599
Four seats, four of us. We're there!
31
00:02:38,807 --> 00:02:39,850
Let's get there early.
32
00:02:40,017 --> 00:02:42,519
You know what?
We should sleep at Doug's.
33
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:45,772
Actually, Carrie already called dibs
on one of the tickets.
34
00:02:45,981 --> 00:02:48,150
- And I know I get one.
- Why do you get one?
35
00:02:48,358 --> 00:02:50,110
I punched him in six times
when he was late.
36
00:02:50,277 --> 00:02:52,446
Hence his perfect on-time record.
37
00:02:52,654 --> 00:02:54,781
Well, who gets the fourth ticket?
38
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,242
I don't know. I guess
you gotta decide among yourselves.
39
00:02:57,451 --> 00:02:59,286
Here you go.
Doug, your wife is on the phone.
40
00:02:59,453 --> 00:03:01,413
Oh, thanks.
41
00:03:01,955 --> 00:03:04,041
So how do we decide
who gets the extra ticket?
42
00:03:04,249 --> 00:03:06,460
I don't know.
Deac, what do you think is fair?
43
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,171
Don't care. Already got my ticket.
44
00:03:09,338 --> 00:03:11,298
Hey, we could measure something.
45
00:03:11,465 --> 00:03:14,384
You know,
like the length of something.
46
00:03:18,263 --> 00:03:19,681
All right.
47
00:03:21,975 --> 00:03:24,269
Or maybe there's another way.
48
00:03:25,771 --> 00:03:26,813
What's up?
49
00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:30,317
Carrie's gonna be at her office late.
I gotta go pick up Arthur from work.
50
00:03:30,484 --> 00:03:33,820
Basically, what I'm saying
is pay for your own food.
51
00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:40,077
Well, looks like
we're gonna be here for a while.
52
00:03:40,244 --> 00:03:41,745
Yup.
53
00:03:42,079 --> 00:03:43,247
You hungry?
54
00:03:43,664 --> 00:03:47,459
- Yeah, you got some food?
- No, just making conversation.
55
00:03:50,754 --> 00:03:54,049
Come on, man, this traffic is brutal.
56
00:03:54,216 --> 00:03:57,553
Well, on the bright side,
it gives us a chance to talk.
57
00:03:59,012 --> 00:04:03,141
Hey, have you ever heard the story
about my foot surgery?
58
00:04:04,393 --> 00:04:05,936
Yes.
59
00:04:06,562 --> 00:04:08,397
It didn't take place
in a hospital proper.
60
00:04:08,564 --> 00:04:10,607
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
61
00:04:10,774 --> 00:04:13,235
Let me first tell you
about the accident.
62
00:04:14,319 --> 00:04:17,197
So if I didn't sell
at least 200 canned hams a week,
63
00:04:17,364 --> 00:04:18,574
I didn't see a dime.
64
00:04:21,368 --> 00:04:26,248
And that little baby grew up
to be Miss Rosemary Clooney.
65
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,961
Let me tell you how the Vietnam War
could have been avoided
66
00:04:31,128 --> 00:04:33,630
with a simple phone call.
67
00:04:34,631 --> 00:04:36,633
Imagine the possibilities, Douglas.
68
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,929
You could sleep in it at night
and eat it in the morning.
69
00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:45,100
And I guess the lesson I learned
from that
70
00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:48,395
was farm equipment
is serious business.
71
00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:51,356
Well, here we are. Home again.
72
00:04:51,523 --> 00:04:52,608
Home again.
73
00:04:52,816 --> 00:04:55,360
Yup, it only took an hour and a half.
74
00:04:55,527 --> 00:04:58,155
Yes, but in a way,
it was a blessing in disguise.
75
00:04:58,322 --> 00:05:00,365
We had
some wonderful bonding time.
76
00:05:01,283 --> 00:05:03,493
You're a good egg, Douglas.
77
00:05:04,036 --> 00:05:07,915
Oh, and I will get you
that literature I promised you.
78
00:05:08,081 --> 00:05:09,958
Great, I look forward to it.
79
00:05:15,339 --> 00:05:17,299
Oh, God.
80
00:05:25,265 --> 00:05:27,726
- Hey, I'm home.
- Hey.
81
00:05:27,893 --> 00:05:28,977
What are you watching?
82
00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:31,688
Letterman. Top Ten List.
83
00:05:32,564 --> 00:05:34,149
Top Ten List.
84
00:05:34,358 --> 00:05:35,484
What is it tonight?
85
00:05:35,776 --> 00:05:38,195
Top ten signs...
86
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,364
- Top ten what?
- Hold on.
87
00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:42,824
- Carrie, I'm listening.
- Just tell me the topic.
88
00:05:43,033 --> 00:05:45,661
Carrie, could you? I missed it.
89
00:05:47,788 --> 00:05:49,623
- Sorry.
- That's all right.
90
00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:52,793
Hey, thanks for picking up Dad
from work tonight. Did it go okay?
91
00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:55,212
Okay?
Let me tell you something, Carrie.
92
00:05:55,379 --> 00:05:58,298
I love your dad, but being trapped
in the car with him for two hours,
93
00:05:58,465 --> 00:06:00,384
not even close to okay.
94
00:06:00,592 --> 00:06:05,722
I mean, he just kept going on and on
about every little stupid thing.
95
00:06:05,889 --> 00:06:06,932
Tell you another thing,
96
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,309
I'd set up a meeting
between your father and a Tic Tac.
97
00:06:09,476 --> 00:06:11,311
Hot ziggity.
98
00:06:13,689 --> 00:06:14,731
It was brutal.
99
00:06:14,898 --> 00:06:18,318
It was like being trapped in a car
with a demented old circus monkey.
100
00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:23,448
Anyway, why are you late
from work again?
101
00:06:23,615 --> 00:06:26,827
This is like the third time this week.
You should just tell your...
102
00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:29,580
- Arthur.
- Douglas.
103
00:06:36,253 --> 00:06:37,588
Where were you?
104
00:06:37,796 --> 00:06:40,674
In the garage getting a beer.
What's the matter?
105
00:06:44,052 --> 00:06:45,220
I thought you were in there.
106
00:06:45,387 --> 00:06:47,556
I started going off about your father,
and he came up.
107
00:06:47,723 --> 00:06:49,183
And I don't know if he heard me.
108
00:06:49,391 --> 00:06:50,601
Well, what'd you say?
109
00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:53,979
I think I called him
a demented old circus monkey.
110
00:06:55,647 --> 00:06:59,276
"A demented old circus monkey"?
111
00:06:59,484 --> 00:07:02,321
I know, it's hurtful.
That's the point.
112
00:07:02,529 --> 00:07:03,572
Well, why did you say it?
113
00:07:03,739 --> 00:07:05,449
You know he comes in
and out of doors.
114
00:07:05,616 --> 00:07:08,118
He's been down there for four hours.
I saw him take his pills.
115
00:07:08,285 --> 00:07:10,621
It looked like enough
to put a rhino down.
116
00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:13,373
How'd he act when you walked in?
Did he act like he heard you?
117
00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:16,084
I don't know.
He just said, "Douglas."
118
00:07:16,251 --> 00:07:19,922
Oh, I just wanted to come home
and have a beer and relax.
119
00:07:20,088 --> 00:07:22,299
Just for a moment,
let's assume that he did hear.
120
00:07:22,466 --> 00:07:24,176
"Demented old circus monkey."
121
00:07:24,384 --> 00:07:26,762
How bad does that actually sound?
122
00:07:27,179 --> 00:07:28,555
Well, it doesn't sound good.
123
00:07:28,764 --> 00:07:29,806
Wait a second, now.
124
00:07:29,973 --> 00:07:33,101
"Circus",
fun for the whole family, right?
125
00:07:33,268 --> 00:07:36,730
"Monkey", I think of the tricycle,
with a mug of beer, he's very cute.
126
00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:39,483
What about "demented"?
127
00:07:39,650 --> 00:07:41,860
That could bite me in the ass.
128
00:07:48,116 --> 00:07:49,409
Hey, there he is.
129
00:07:49,576 --> 00:07:51,662
My man Artie.
130
00:07:51,828 --> 00:07:53,121
The Art-man.
131
00:07:54,248 --> 00:07:56,250
Art of the deal.
132
00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:57,668
Hello, Douglas.
133
00:07:58,627 --> 00:08:00,420
How you doing?
134
00:08:03,924 --> 00:08:05,717
Love this guy.
135
00:08:08,595 --> 00:08:12,975
You know, yesterday,
right after we got caught in traffic,
136
00:08:13,141 --> 00:08:15,561
I was a little crazy, you know.
137
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:18,647
I was just kind of saying stuff.
138
00:08:18,856 --> 00:08:20,774
But I was thinking later on,
139
00:08:20,941 --> 00:08:23,735
that that time we spent
in the car together,
140
00:08:24,152 --> 00:08:25,445
that was kind of special.
141
00:08:25,612 --> 00:08:27,364
Because you're just so...
142
00:08:27,531 --> 00:08:30,033
You're you, you know.
143
00:08:30,742 --> 00:08:32,619
I am me, yes.
144
00:08:35,914 --> 00:08:38,500
Hey, Stanley,
145
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:42,171
you demented old circus monkey,
you.
146
00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:50,512
Who's a demented
old circus monkey?
147
00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,306
You are. Yes, you are.
148
00:08:52,472 --> 00:08:55,142
Because you're so good and fun
to be around.
149
00:08:55,309 --> 00:08:57,519
- Yeah.
- Hey, honey. Hi, Dad.
150
00:08:57,686 --> 00:09:00,564
Hey, Car,
you demented old circus monkey.
151
00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:03,984
What?
152
00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:06,570
It's just my new thing I call
everyone I love, you know.
153
00:09:06,737 --> 00:09:10,073
It's my catch phrase
starting yesterday.
154
00:09:10,490 --> 00:09:12,159
I'm off to work.
155
00:09:12,326 --> 00:09:13,452
See you tonight.
156
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:17,581
All right. Why don't you take it easy,
you demented old circus monkey?
157
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:21,710
That was subtle.
158
00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:26,465
I know, I was trying.
He wouldn't give me anything.
159
00:09:26,673 --> 00:09:29,218
He didn't seem that angry
but he wasn't all that nice either.
160
00:09:29,384 --> 00:09:32,095
He was just kind of there.
Like a cat.
161
00:09:32,262 --> 00:09:33,847
Doug, listen to me.
162
00:09:34,014 --> 00:09:36,683
You need to either apologise to him
or let this thing go,
163
00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:38,936
because you're really starting
to annoy me.
164
00:09:39,102 --> 00:09:41,396
I just need to know if he heard.
165
00:09:43,774 --> 00:09:44,816
Okay, I got it.
166
00:09:44,983 --> 00:09:47,528
You and I,
we're gonna do a re-enactment.
167
00:09:47,736 --> 00:09:48,779
A re-enactment?
168
00:09:48,946 --> 00:09:50,739
I'm gonna be me,
you're gonna be him,
169
00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:53,325
and I'm gonna repeat what I said
exactly the way I said it.
170
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,702
Then, we'll find out
whether he heard once and for all.
171
00:09:55,911 --> 00:09:58,664
Okay, what can I do
to make this not happen?
172
00:09:58,872 --> 00:10:02,084
You know what? We need everything
to be exactly the same way.
173
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,878
This pass-through was open,
right here, okay?
174
00:10:05,045 --> 00:10:07,130
And the TV was on.
It was definitely on.
175
00:10:07,297 --> 00:10:11,051
Okay, how loud did I say it though?
You know?
176
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:14,680
Demented old circus monkey.
177
00:10:15,222 --> 00:10:18,100
Demented old circus monkey.
178
00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:20,686
Demented old circus monkey.
179
00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:23,105
Yeah, that was the one.
The third one, right there.
180
00:10:23,313 --> 00:10:25,232
Are you sure you're in the right key?
181
00:10:25,566 --> 00:10:28,235
Come on, you're Arthur,
you're coming up out of the basement.
182
00:10:28,402 --> 00:10:30,487
- Would you work with me, please?
- Fine.
183
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,197
Okay. All right, here.
184
00:10:32,406 --> 00:10:35,325
Do you need me to say something
like action or anything like that?
185
00:10:35,492 --> 00:10:36,577
I can handle it, butch.
186
00:10:36,743 --> 00:10:39,621
All right.
Don't push it, just throw it away.
187
00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:43,750
Douglas. I'm Arthur.
188
00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:46,420
Arthur Spooner, that's me.
189
00:10:46,587 --> 00:10:49,464
I've invented a new kind of pie.
190
00:10:58,682 --> 00:11:00,058
Hi.
191
00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:02,895
Oh, my God. This is not my hat.
192
00:11:03,061 --> 00:11:05,731
- Hey, Arthur, we were just...
- I saw what you were doing.
193
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,734
I guess when I leave, you do
little skits about me, is that it?
194
00:11:09,151 --> 00:11:10,944
Well, I don't.
195
00:11:12,696 --> 00:11:13,947
No, of course not.
196
00:11:14,114 --> 00:11:16,450
You're too busy calling me
a demented old circus monkey
197
00:11:16,617 --> 00:11:18,327
- behind my back.
- Dad...
198
00:11:18,493 --> 00:11:22,122
No. I'm glad I could be a source
of such amusement to you two.
199
00:11:22,873 --> 00:11:24,791
I'll be going now.
200
00:11:24,958 --> 00:11:29,213
And by the way,
I didn't invent a new kind of pie.
201
00:11:29,379 --> 00:11:31,798
It was a crumb cake.
202
00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:44,039
Thank you.
203
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:47,459
Thank you.
204
00:11:54,257 --> 00:11:57,093
- Wow, he's really mad at us.
- There is no us.
205
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,846
You started this
and then you took me down with you
206
00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:02,182
with that brilliant
little re-enactment.
207
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:05,143
In my defence, Car,
it was your choice to wear the hat.
208
00:12:06,061 --> 00:12:10,065
You created an atmosphere
where it was easy to get carried away.
209
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:12,609
Just go out there
and try to talk to him.
210
00:12:12,776 --> 00:12:13,902
- Why don't you?
- I did.
211
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:16,580
Every time I do,
he just covers his ears
212
00:12:16,606 --> 00:12:19,349
and shuts his
eyes and walks away.
213
00:12:19,491 --> 00:12:21,326
Usually, right into something.
214
00:12:21,785 --> 00:12:24,287
Okay, I'll go.
215
00:12:26,956 --> 00:12:29,459
Dad, would you just come inside
and eat with us?
216
00:12:29,626 --> 00:12:30,960
Sorry.
217
00:12:31,127 --> 00:12:35,757
I prefer to eat out here with the
other demented circus monkeys.
218
00:12:37,258 --> 00:12:41,054
You're not a circus monkey, Dad.
219
00:12:41,554 --> 00:12:44,265
Demented circus monkey.
220
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:48,311
Will you stop it? We're sorry, okay?
221
00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:51,606
Sure, it's easy to say you're sorry
after the insult.
222
00:12:51,815 --> 00:12:54,859
Well, it's kind of hard to do it
before the insult.
223
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,612
If you're trying to disarm me
with your wit,
224
00:12:57,779 --> 00:13:00,657
I recommend you save your time.
225
00:13:05,078 --> 00:13:08,707
Hey, Party Artie.
226
00:13:09,249 --> 00:13:10,959
Chef Boy Artie.
227
00:13:12,877 --> 00:13:14,713
We're in here.
228
00:13:17,716 --> 00:13:20,343
All right, I got it,
you wait in the Shea parking lot
229
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,679
and after four and a half innings,
I come out
230
00:13:22,846 --> 00:13:24,723
and then you go in
for the rest of the game.
231
00:13:24,889 --> 00:13:26,224
How's that?
232
00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:28,184
You won't come out.
233
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,147
That's true.
234
00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:36,192
I apologised to the guy 20 times.
What else can I do?
235
00:13:36,359 --> 00:13:38,028
I don't know.
236
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,281
Why don't you take him
somewhere?
237
00:13:41,865 --> 00:13:44,826
What, like, out to the woods?
238
00:13:45,952 --> 00:13:47,620
Hey, I got an idea.
239
00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:50,457
We got a dish here
with about a dozen butterballs.
240
00:13:50,623 --> 00:13:55,003
You eat them all in under a minute
and you're going to Shea.
241
00:13:57,922 --> 00:13:59,924
I know what you could do.
242
00:14:00,091 --> 00:14:01,551
What?
243
00:14:01,885 --> 00:14:04,012
You could give him
the other Mets ticket.
244
00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:07,057
This is a lot of butter.
245
00:14:08,099 --> 00:14:09,934
And I think we have a deal.
246
00:14:12,896 --> 00:14:15,690
Not the game. He'll ruin it somehow.
247
00:14:15,857 --> 00:14:17,233
He'll yell something embarrassing
248
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,069
and the first base coach
will look at me.
249
00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:21,196
Look, man,
you hurt the guy's feelings.
250
00:14:21,363 --> 00:14:23,239
You gotta deal
with the consequences.
251
00:14:28,411 --> 00:14:31,956
I guess you're right. I guess
I gotta bite the bullet on this one.
252
00:14:32,165 --> 00:14:33,541
All right. I'll bring him.
253
00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:40,131
That's 12.
254
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:42,425
I win.
255
00:14:42,592 --> 00:14:46,388
I get the ticket!
256
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:52,852
What?
257
00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:04,030
Now batting, number 61,
Gilbert Schulman.
258
00:15:04,197 --> 00:15:08,326
Okay, Arthur, got you a program
and a pennant here
259
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:11,871
and a little bat that's also a pen.
260
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,123
Look at that.
261
00:15:13,289 --> 00:15:18,211
I'm a giant baseball player
with a very normal size bat.
262
00:15:20,422 --> 00:15:24,175
- And they've got a bunt.
- Okay, okay, it's not landing.
263
00:15:24,342 --> 00:15:26,052
Would you just take the stuff,
will you?
264
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:27,345
Thank you, no.
265
00:15:27,554 --> 00:15:30,640
I accepted this ticket
because I love the Mets
266
00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:33,601
and I enjoy the company of Mr...
267
00:15:34,728 --> 00:15:37,313
- Palmer.
- Palmer here.
268
00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:40,108
You two, I can do without.
269
00:15:40,817 --> 00:15:42,402
All right,
so, what do you wanna eat?
270
00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:45,697
- You want a hot dog? Peanuts?
- Nothing, thank you.
271
00:15:45,864 --> 00:15:47,866
What about one of those ice creams
you like?
272
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,284
A Cool-a-coo?
273
00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:51,703
You love Cool-a-coos.
274
00:15:52,495 --> 00:15:54,289
If I got you a Cool-a-coo,
would you eat it?
275
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,250
I might eat it.
276
00:15:57,417 --> 00:16:01,087
Well, then, I'm gonna get you
a Cool-a-coo.
277
00:16:01,254 --> 00:16:03,715
And one for my friend...
278
00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:07,135
I'm sorry, son,
give it to me one more time.
279
00:16:07,302 --> 00:16:09,804
- Palmer.
- Palmer.
280
00:16:09,971 --> 00:16:16,144
Now batting, number four,
Greg Jacobs.
281
00:16:18,605 --> 00:16:20,023
Oh, God.
282
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:28,990
These seats are pretty great, huh?
283
00:16:33,495 --> 00:16:38,083
You sure you don't want the pennant?
Because I think it's pretty sweet.
284
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,210
I'm sure.
285
00:16:46,466 --> 00:16:49,969
Yeah! Yeah!
286
00:16:50,136 --> 00:16:53,598
Mets, yeah! God, this thing is fun.
287
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:11,116
Hi, I need two Cool-a-coos, please.
288
00:17:11,324 --> 00:17:12,867
Sorry, beer only.
289
00:17:13,034 --> 00:17:16,579
Oh, okay.
I'll take a beer and two Cool-a-coos.
290
00:17:16,746 --> 00:17:18,623
Beer only.
291
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:20,959
What are you talking about?
You got Cool-a-coos there.
292
00:17:21,126 --> 00:17:23,378
- I could see them.
- Beer only.
293
00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:27,757
Yeah, yeah, you mentioned that.
294
00:17:27,924 --> 00:17:32,345
Listen, I've got an old man out there
with very hurt feelings
295
00:17:32,512 --> 00:17:35,348
and he's got his heart set
on a frigging Cool-a-coo.
296
00:17:35,515 --> 00:17:37,434
Now, I'm gonna count to five.
297
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,395
And if a Cool-a-coo does not appear
in my hand,
298
00:17:40,562 --> 00:17:43,064
I'm gonna put you on a stick.
299
00:17:53,408 --> 00:17:56,911
What does Mets stand for
anyway, you know?
300
00:17:57,579 --> 00:18:01,374
I mean, what's a Met?
What's the deal with that?
301
00:18:03,001 --> 00:18:05,045
Come on, give me something, huh?
302
00:18:05,211 --> 00:18:07,714
It's short for Metropolitan.
303
00:18:08,214 --> 00:18:11,342
Or perhaps it's short
for hurtful son-in-law.
304
00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,136
You know what? That's it. Come on.
305
00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:15,638
I said I was sorry, all right?
I didn't mean what I said.
306
00:18:15,805 --> 00:18:18,933
Now, I've apologised, I've shared
front row seats with you...
307
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:21,561
I'm out. I'm out.
308
00:18:21,936 --> 00:18:23,813
I never got a foul ball before.
309
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:32,572
Hey, buddy, back in your seat!
310
00:18:39,245 --> 00:18:40,955
Hey!
311
00:18:45,585 --> 00:18:48,630
Go, big man. Go.
312
00:18:50,673 --> 00:18:52,258
Oh, will you look at this?
313
00:18:52,425 --> 00:18:53,718
This is terrible.
314
00:18:53,927 --> 00:18:55,345
Is that Doug?
315
00:18:55,512 --> 00:18:58,139
Some moron
is running around the field
316
00:18:58,306 --> 00:18:59,974
ruining it for everyone.
317
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,894
Go, Moose!
318
00:19:14,989 --> 00:19:17,158
Hey, how you guys doing?
319
00:19:18,076 --> 00:19:21,663
That's my son-in-law!
320
00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:34,718
Piazza!
321
00:19:37,679 --> 00:19:40,056
Driver of the Month.
322
00:19:41,391 --> 00:19:43,893
This is a long way to fall.
323
00:19:46,563 --> 00:19:48,940
Excuse me, sir? Sorry to bother you.
324
00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:51,067
Could you just let us go now,
please?
325
00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:52,485
He won't go on the field again
326
00:19:52,652 --> 00:19:55,822
and I won't spit
on any more concession people.
327
00:19:57,032 --> 00:19:58,992
Sorry. Rules are rules.
328
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,578
Oh, come on. It's not like
you're running a real jail here.
329
00:20:01,745 --> 00:20:04,247
It's Mets jail. Get a grip.
330
00:20:06,332 --> 00:20:07,375
Piazza!
331
00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:09,294
You know what?
We get it, you like Piazza.
332
00:20:09,461 --> 00:20:12,797
- Now, settle down, drunky.
- Take it easy.
333
00:20:12,964 --> 00:20:16,509
This man has puking in his future.
334
00:20:16,676 --> 00:20:19,304
Hey, some guy is here to claim you.
335
00:20:19,512 --> 00:20:21,389
- Hey, Arthur.
- Hi, Dad.
336
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:26,061
Well, I can't say
this is my proudest moment.
337
00:20:26,436 --> 00:20:28,104
I'm sorry
I didn't get you that foul ball.
338
00:20:28,271 --> 00:20:30,732
No, no, Douglas, I was very touched.
339
00:20:30,899 --> 00:20:32,400
You did toss it away
to save yourself
340
00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:36,905
but other than that,
it was a very nice gesture.
341
00:20:37,113 --> 00:20:38,907
And I almost got you your ice cream.
342
00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:42,410
Well, yes, but I heard
you were in a beer-only line.
343
00:20:42,577 --> 00:20:45,830
Last time I checked,
that means beer only.
344
00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:49,250
Well, anyway, I'm sorry.
345
00:20:49,459 --> 00:20:52,295
Come on, let's get you kids
out of this hell hole.
346
00:20:52,462 --> 00:20:54,464
Listen, Arthur, I'm really sorry
347
00:20:54,631 --> 00:20:56,257
about that
"demented monkey" comment.
348
00:20:56,424 --> 00:20:57,467
Oh, forget it.
349
00:20:57,842 --> 00:20:59,844
To be honest, Douglas,
behind your back,
350
00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:04,057
I often refer to you
as "The Butterball."
351
00:21:04,349 --> 00:21:05,392
Good to know.
352
00:21:05,558 --> 00:21:07,519
And ouch.
353
00:21:13,344 --> 00:21:16,430
And from the "At Least You Know
You're Smarter Than Someone"file,
354
00:21:16,597 --> 00:21:18,432
here's a guy
who really wanted a foul ball
355
00:21:18,599 --> 00:21:20,059
in Shea Stadium today.
356
00:21:20,268 --> 00:21:21,727
Look at this lunatic go.
357
00:21:25,189 --> 00:21:28,651
Oh, yeah, why don't you show the part
where I make a crazy old man happy?
358
00:21:28,818 --> 00:21:30,778
Oh, hey, Dad.
359
00:21:31,195 --> 00:21:33,281
You thought that's funny?
360
00:21:33,447 --> 00:21:36,367
Funny, funny, funny!
361
00:21:38,092 --> 00:21:44,092
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