All language subtitles for Pants.On.Fire.2014.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:03,959 --> 00:00:08,000 [♪♪♪] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:19,625 TRUST ME, BOYS. 5 00:00:19,625 --> 00:00:22,750 NO ONE ELSE WILL THINK TO MEET DANNY KOSTAS BEFORE SCHOOL. 6 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,125 WHOA. 7 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,333 NO ONE? HALF THE TOWN IS HERE. 8 00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:32,708 YES! BUT... 9 00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:34,166 HALF THE TOWN ISN'T. 10 00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:37,125 JACK OUTSMARTED HALF THE TOWN. 11 00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:38,375 MM-HMM. 12 00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:43,208 I PROMISED YOU GUYS AUTOGRAPHS, 13 00:00:43,208 --> 00:00:46,041 AND WE ARE GONNA GET AUTOGRAPHS. 14 00:00:46,041 --> 00:00:48,125 I HAVE A PLAN. 15 00:00:54,542 --> 00:00:55,542 OH! HEY. 16 00:00:55,542 --> 00:00:57,542 NO ONE'S ALLOWED BACK HERE. 17 00:00:57,542 --> 00:00:59,333 OH, THANK GOODNESS! A SECURITY GUARD. 18 00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:00,500 MOM ALWAYS SAID, 19 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,458 "IF YOU NEED HELP, FIND A SECURITY GUARD." 20 00:01:02,458 --> 00:01:06,708 WELL, YOUR MOM SOUNDS LIKE A VERY WISE LADY. 21 00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:08,000 WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE TROUBLE? 22 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,708 YEAH, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE TROUBLE? 23 00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:11,458 IT'S BEARS. 24 00:01:11,458 --> 00:01:12,875 -BEARS? - BEARS! 25 00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:14,333 NOT BEARS. I'M TERRIFIED OF BEARS. 26 00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:16,542 BEARS ARE THE WORST. 27 00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:20,083 WHY WOULD THERE BE BEARS AT A CONVENTION CENTER? 28 00:01:20,083 --> 00:01:21,375 IT'S THE DROUGHT. 29 00:01:21,375 --> 00:01:22,875 THEY'RE COMING DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAINS. 30 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,417 THEY'RE FORAGING FOR FOOD. 31 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,417 -MM-HMM. I-I-IN THE DUMPSTER. -ON TOP OF THE PARKING GARAGE. 32 00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:28,417 FURTHER DOWN THE ALLEY. 33 00:01:28,417 --> 00:01:31,250 WHEN YOU IRONED ON THAT SECURITY BADGE, 34 00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,375 YOU SWORE AN OATH 35 00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:34,750 TO PROTECT THIS CONVENTION CENTER. 36 00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:36,417 WELL, TODAY... 37 00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,250 YOUR CONVENTION CENTER NEEDS YOU. 38 00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:39,291 WE NEED A HERO! 39 00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:40,417 WE NEED... 40 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:43,667 OTIS. 41 00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:46,208 ARE YOU SURE IT WAS BEARS? 42 00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:48,125 OH, OTIS... 43 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:49,291 OTIS! 44 00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:55,166 WOULD I LIE TO YOU? 45 00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:57,708 YOU KIDS STAY HERE. 46 00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:09,250 IT'S BEAR SEASON. 47 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,542 [REVERSE-ALERT WHINES] 48 00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:20,208 NOW WE JUST HAVE TO SIT BACK, RELAX, 49 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,333 AND WAIT FOR DANNY KOSTAS TO ROLL IN. 50 00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:25,166 HEH. 51 00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:26,959 OKAY. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 52 00:02:26,959 --> 00:02:29,834 "I CAN'T BELIEVE OTIS JUST FELL FOR THAT," RIGHT? 53 00:02:29,834 --> 00:02:31,583 WELL, NOW, DON'T BLAME HIM, 54 00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:34,000 BECAUSE HE NEVER REALLY HAD A CHANCE. 55 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,917 SEE, EVERYBODY HAS A SPECIAL TALENT. 56 00:02:36,917 --> 00:02:39,333 SOME PEOPLE ARE... ATHLETES. 57 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,750 AND SOME PEOPLE CAN 58 00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:44,083 PUT THEIR ENTIRE FIST IN THEIR MOUTH. 59 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,667 SORT OF. 60 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,166 BUT ME? 61 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:49,667 MY SPECIAL TALENT? 62 00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,500 I CAN LIE. 63 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:53,000 NOW, EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE KID, 64 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,834 I WAS JUST ALWAYS REALLY GOOD AT MAKING STUFF UP. 65 00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:59,500 I FIGURED, REGULAR LIFE IS BORING ENOUGH ON ITS OWN. 66 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,667 WHY NOT SPICE IT UP A LITTLE, HUH? 67 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,166 [♪♪♪] 68 00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:10,417 LIKE THE TIME I BUSTED MY ARM 69 00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:13,542 WHEN I BLEW THE LANDING ON THE SICKEST FLIP OF MY LIFE. 70 00:03:13,542 --> 00:03:14,625 GAH! 71 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,000 [GROANS] 72 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,000 NOW, I COULDN'T TELL MY MOM HOW IT REALLY HAPPENED. 73 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,500 SHE SAID ONE MORE ACCIDENT 74 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,792 AND MY BIKE WOULD BE HISTORY. 75 00:03:22,792 --> 00:03:24,458 SO MAYBE... 76 00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:26,667 SO MAYBE MY ARM GOT BROKEN 77 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:29,667 PROTECTING THE HABITAT OF AN ENDANGERED OWL 78 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,291 FROM TWO TREE-HUNGRY LUMBERJACKS. 79 00:03:34,417 --> 00:03:37,041 GET 'IM! 80 00:03:37,041 --> 00:03:38,625 [LUMBERJACK SCREAMS] 81 00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:41,208 [GROANING] 82 00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:42,750 -OH! -[THUD] 83 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,000 YOU! 84 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,166 OH! 85 00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:47,333 AHH! 86 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:52,291 [OWL HOOTING] 87 00:03:52,291 --> 00:03:54,583 JACK PARKER, THAT'S WHO. 88 00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:58,708 AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 89 00:03:58,708 --> 00:04:02,375 I GOT TO KEEP MY BIKE AND I MADE MY PARENTS PROUD. 90 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,041 NOW, MAYBE I DIDN'T HAVE THE NERVE 91 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:06,792 TO ASK JENNIFER TO THE WINTER FORMAL. 92 00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:08,959 HI, JACK. 93 00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:13,166 OR ASK HER ANYTHING AT ALL. 94 00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:16,500 OR MAYBE I HAD A SMOKIN'-HOT GIRLFRIEND FROM ARIZONA 95 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:19,208 WHO DIDN'T WANT ME GOING OUT WITH ANYONE ELSE. 96 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,083 [SHRIEKING MANIACALLY] 97 00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:28,125 SHE'S SUPER-POSSESSIVE. 98 00:04:28,125 --> 00:04:29,750 MAYBE I WENT OVERBOARD ON THAT LIE. 99 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,375 BUT... 100 00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:32,417 MY BEST LIE, 101 00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:35,667 MY GREATEST FABRICATION OF ALL, 102 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,417 WAS MIKEY. 103 00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:39,959 SEE, MY BELOVED RED SOX WERE IN TOWN, 104 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:41,375 AND RYAN, ERIC, AND I 105 00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:44,750 HAD SCORED AWESOME SEATS RIGHT BEHIND HOME PLATE. 106 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:47,000 THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS, 107 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,875 I HADN'T CLEANED MY ROOM IN EIGHT MONTHS. 108 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,250 YOUNG MAN, 109 00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,792 YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL THIS ROOM IS SPOTLESS. 110 00:04:55,792 --> 00:04:57,083 BUT... MOM! 111 00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:58,291 [DEJECTED SIGH] 112 00:04:58,291 --> 00:05:00,917 I... HAVE TO... 113 00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,291 HELP... THAT KID. 114 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,333 -WHAT KID? -THAT KID THAT... 115 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,208 I TUTOR? 116 00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:10,000 MOM, I SWEAR, YOU DON'T LISTEN TO A THING I SAY. 117 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:10,959 YOU TUTOR SOMEONE? 118 00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:12,792 YEAH, IT'S QUITE WONDERFUL. 119 00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:15,291 I, YOU KNOW, I TRY NOT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT. 120 00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:17,625 YOU KNOW, JUST DOING MY PART. 121 00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:19,125 HELPING A KID-- 122 00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:20,250 WHAT'S THIS KID'S NAME? 123 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,625 UH, MIKE. 124 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:24,166 BUT I CALL HIM MIKEY, YOU KNOW? 125 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,083 WE'RE KINDA TIGHT LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW? 126 00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:28,250 I'M KIND OF HIS ONLY FRIEND. 127 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,792 I AM SO... 128 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:33,625 [INHALING DEEPLY] 129 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:34,959 PROUD OF YOU! 130 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,000 YOU JUST GO. 131 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,667 HELP THAT MIKEY, OKAY? 132 00:05:46,959 --> 00:05:48,959 SEE WHAT I MEAN? 133 00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:52,208 COUPLE OF HARMLESS FABRICATIONS AND... 134 00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:56,083 JUST LIKE THAT, THINGS JUST GET INTERESTING. 135 00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:58,959 ERIC? 136 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,208 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 137 00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:01,375 SHH! 138 00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:04,500 THE BEST DEFENSE AGAINST BEARS IS TO PLAY DEAD. 139 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,125 GET UP. COME ON. 140 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,500 THERE WE GO. 141 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,750 OKAY. 142 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,750 [♪♪♪] 143 00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:25,000 [♪♪♪] 144 00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:33,750 DANNY! DANNY! WE LOVE YOU, MAN. 145 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,542 MY BOY, RYAN, DOES A PERFECT IMPRESSION 146 00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,208 OF YOUR BATTING RITUAL. [SNAPS]: SHOW HIM! 147 00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:38,417 OKAY. 148 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,834 CAN WE GET SOME AUTOGRAPHS? 149 00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,375 [SNAP] 150 00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:55,792 [♪♪♪] 151 00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:02,708 AWESOME! 152 00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:04,583 SO COOL! 153 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:06,875 [SMACK] 154 00:07:06,875 --> 00:07:08,458 MM! TASTES MINTY. 155 00:07:08,458 --> 00:07:10,083 AW, WE GOTTA GO! 156 00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:12,917 MS. TAYLOR IS GOING TO KILL YOU. 157 00:07:12,917 --> 00:07:14,333 OKAY, AND ONE MORE THING. 158 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,250 YES. LYING IS WRONG. 159 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,750 EXCEPT... MAYBE IT ISN'T. 160 00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:19,750 NOW HEAR ME OUT. 161 00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:20,917 RIGHT NOW, 162 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:22,917 OTIS THE SECURITY GUARD THINKS HE'S A HERO. 163 00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:25,542 AND... WE GOT OUR AUTOGRAPHS. 164 00:07:25,542 --> 00:07:26,959 EVERYBODY WINS. 165 00:07:26,959 --> 00:07:28,667 NO HARM, NO FOUL. 166 00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:31,625 FAKE GIRLFRIEND? LUMBERJACKS? CHECK. 167 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:32,917 BUT THE "MIKEY" STORY, 168 00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:34,625 THAT WAS A MASTERPIECE, 169 00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:38,208 AND IT TOTALLY CHANGED MY LIFE. 170 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,625 MIKEY BECAME MY GO-TO EXCUSE FOR EVERY SITUATION. 171 00:07:41,625 --> 00:07:44,166 YOU KNOW-- GETTING OUT OF CHORES, 172 00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:45,625 BREAKING CURFEW, 173 00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:47,375 BEING LATE FOR CLASS. 174 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,959 PEOPLE WERE HAPPY LETTING ME GET AWAY WITH THINGS, 175 00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:51,625 BECAUSE THEY WERE HELPING MIKEY. 176 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:53,417 IT MADE THEM FEEL GOOD, 177 00:07:53,417 --> 00:07:57,291 AND MAKING PEOPLE FEEL GOOD CAN'T BE BAD, RIGHT? 178 00:07:57,291 --> 00:08:02,291 [♪♪♪] 179 00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:05,291 JACK PARKER, YOU'RE LATE. 180 00:08:05,291 --> 00:08:06,959 IT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK. 181 00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:08,917 I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOU DETENTION. 182 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:11,417 I UNDERSTAND. 183 00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:16,959 IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 184 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:19,458 IT'S JUST... [SIGHS] 185 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,792 I WAS UP ALL NIGHT HELPING MIKEY. 186 00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:25,333 WITH MATH, HE'S JUST REALLY STRUGGLING, 187 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:26,834 AND HE WANTS TO GET INTO COLLEGE, 188 00:08:26,834 --> 00:08:30,625 SO HE CAN MAKE HIS MOM AND HIS FOUR BROTHERS PROUD. 189 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,583 I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE HAD FIVE BROTHERS. 190 00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:36,458 IT'S FOUR. 191 00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:37,792 [VOICE CRACKS]: IT'S FOUR NOW. 192 00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:41,208 OHH... 193 00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:45,000 HOW ABOUT WE JUST FORGET ABOUT DETENTION FOR TODAY? HMM? 194 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,083 [RELIEVED SIGH] 195 00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:48,333 THANK YOU. 196 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,708 IT'S LIKE I ALWAYS TOLD MIKEY, MS. TAYLOR-- 197 00:08:50,708 --> 00:08:54,583 YOU ARE THE TYPE OF TEACHER THAT THEY MAKE MOVIES ABOUT. 198 00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:57,708 [TOUCHED CHUCKLE] 199 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,750 HEY! 200 00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:12,708 SEE? I GET OUT OF DETENTION, 201 00:09:12,708 --> 00:09:15,000 AND MS. TAYLOR FEELS GREAT ABOUT HERSELF! 202 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,166 MY LIES ARE MAKING OUR SCHOOL-- 203 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,500 NO, OUR WORLD-- 204 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,250 A BETTER PLACE. 205 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:22,250 [GRUNTING] 206 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:23,667 COME ON! 207 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,208 -GIVE THEM BACK! -NO! [LAUGHS] 208 00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:27,708 [BULLY STOPS LAUGHING] 209 00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:29,875 [EXHALES NERVOUSLY] 210 00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:32,000 OH, HEY, LANCE. 211 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,375 ACTS OF INJUSTICE LIKE THAT 212 00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:36,125 REALLY MAKE THE OLD ARM ACHE. 213 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:38,708 YOU KNOW... WHEN I BROKE IT? 214 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,708 SINGLE-HANDEDLY TAKING DOWN THOSE LUMBERJACKS? 215 00:09:40,708 --> 00:09:42,417 YOU'VE HEARD THE STORY. 216 00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:43,875 YOU SNAPPED THEM LIKE TWIGS. 217 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:44,917 TWIGS. 218 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,417 OH! OH... UH-- 219 00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:47,792 [HUFFS] 220 00:09:47,792 --> 00:09:49,041 THERE... 221 00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:50,875 THERE YOU GO. 222 00:09:50,875 --> 00:09:52,875 NICE AND CLEAN, HUH? 223 00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:54,708 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 224 00:09:57,583 --> 00:09:58,750 THANKS, JACK. 225 00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,625 YOU'RE ALWAYS STANDING UP FOR THE LITTLE GUYS. 226 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:03,291 SPEAKING OF WHICH, GIVE MY BEST TO MIKEY. 227 00:10:03,291 --> 00:10:05,375 I SURE WILL. 228 00:10:06,291 --> 00:10:07,750 WHAT CAN I SAY? 229 00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:10,917 I'M LIKE A... SUPERHERO OR SOMETHING. 230 00:10:10,917 --> 00:10:12,583 [P.A. SYSTEM CRACKLES]: JACK PARKER. 231 00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:14,250 THIS IS PRINCIPAL KAR. 232 00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:17,041 REPORT TO MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. 233 00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:23,583 MR. PARKER... 234 00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:26,625 I THINK WE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS "MIKEY." 235 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,333 UH... HEH. 236 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:30,792 UM... WHAT ABOUT MIKEY? 237 00:10:30,792 --> 00:10:32,834 THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE HAS BEEN BUZZING 238 00:10:32,834 --> 00:10:35,959 WITH TALES ABOUT YOU TUTORING A MYSTERIOUS BOY 239 00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:37,291 FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL. 240 00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:38,625 AND I HAVE TO SAY... 241 00:10:39,959 --> 00:10:41,250 I AM 242 00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:43,500 VERY, VERY IMPRESSED. 243 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:47,041 TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE 244 00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:49,959 TO HELP OTHERS, IT'S... [SIGHS] 245 00:10:49,959 --> 00:10:51,959 OH, IT'S MADE US ALL VERY PROUD. 246 00:10:51,959 --> 00:10:55,333 YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHERE THIS IS GOING. 247 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,583 I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THIS IS GOING. 248 00:10:57,583 --> 00:11:00,625 HE'S GONNA NOMINATE ME FOR "STUDENT OF THE YEAR." 249 00:11:01,542 --> 00:11:04,083 I AM GOING TO NOMINATE YOU-- 250 00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:05,458 [GIGGLING GIDDILY] 251 00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:07,750 YOU! ...FOR "STUDENT OF THE YEAR." 252 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,333 WHAT? 253 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,375 "STUDENT OF THE YEAR!" 254 00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:14,333 I-I-I WAS REALLY NOT EXPECTING THIS. 255 00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:18,291 I MEAN, HELPING MIKEY IS ITS OWN REWARD. 256 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:20,667 THE WINNER GETS HIS OR HER CHOICE 257 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,959 OF ANY SUMMER INTERNSHIP. 258 00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:26,834 YOU MEAN LIKE THE BAT BOY FOR THE BOSTON RED SOX? 259 00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:29,000 THAT KIND OF INTERNSHIP? 260 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,959 YOU DA MAN! 261 00:11:30,959 --> 00:11:32,542 [GAME ANNOUNCER]: AND NOW... 262 00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:34,625 FULFILLING HIS LIFE-LONG DREAM, 263 00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,000 PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER 264 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,959 FOR YOUR HOMETOWN HERO 265 00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:41,583 AND FUTURE ALL-STAR RED SOX BAT BOY... 266 00:11:41,583 --> 00:11:44,000 JACK PARKER-R-R-R! 267 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,708 [CROWD ROARING, FIREWORKS POPPING] 268 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,291 UH, JACK? 269 00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,708 OH! UH... 270 00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:55,583 I MEAN, IF I WERE TO WIN, 271 00:11:55,583 --> 00:11:57,708 THEN THAT'S WHAT I WOULD CHOOSE, YOU KNOW. 272 00:11:57,708 --> 00:11:59,041 BUT-- [SIGHS] 273 00:11:59,041 --> 00:12:01,667 IT'S JUST AN HONOR TO BE NOMINATED. 274 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:05,250 OH, JACK! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! 275 00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,542 OH... 276 00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:09,834 MOM, I LIVE TO MAKE YOU PROUD. 277 00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:11,375 [JACK CHUCKLES] 278 00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:14,041 SO, UH, WHY ARE YOU PROUD OF ME? 279 00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:15,583 YOUR PRINCIPAL CALLED. 280 00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:20,375 YOU'RE ONE OF THE FIVE FINALISTS FOR "STUDENT OF THE YEAR"! 281 00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:22,083 OH... THAT. 282 00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:25,000 NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED. NEVER. 283 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,667 LIKE, EVER. 284 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:28,041 NEVER EVER. EVER. 285 00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:29,333 NEVER? 286 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:30,458 EVER. 287 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,959 YOU HAVE GIVEN SO MUCH TO THAT MIKEY. 288 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,250 YOU DESERVE THIS AWARD. 289 00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,917 AND I KNOW WHERE WE'RE GONNA PUT IT! 290 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,959 RIGHT HERE, SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT. 291 00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:42,250 YOU KNOW WHAT? 292 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,000 MAYBE I DO DESERVE IT. 293 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,208 SPEAKING OF DOING SOMETHING GOOD-- 294 00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:47,583 I NEED ONE OF YOU 295 00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:49,667 TO HELP ME CLEAN OUT THE GARAGE TODAY. 296 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,583 I THINK A POSSUM DIED IN THERE. 297 00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,125 PLACE IS GETTING PRETTY RIPE. 298 00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:54,583 WELL, I CAN'T DO IT. NICK'S TAKING ME TO DINNER 299 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:58,000 AT THE WIENER PALACE FOR OUR THREE-WEEK ANNIVERSARY. 300 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,083 HOW 'BOUT IT, SPORT? 301 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:01,417 OH, DAD, YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD LOVE 302 00:13:01,417 --> 00:13:03,250 TO SPEND SOME QUALITY BONDING TIME 303 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:07,083 SEARCHING FOR A ROTTING MARSUPIAL CORPSE WITH YOU. 304 00:13:07,083 --> 00:13:08,333 YOU KNOW I WOULD! 305 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:10,417 [SIGHS] BUT MIKEY HAS A CHEM TEST, 306 00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:12,458 AND I PROMISED HIM THAT WE'D STUDY. 307 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,083 YOU HELP THAT MIKEY. HE NEEDS YOU. 308 00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:16,417 HANNAH CAN HELP YOUR FATHER. 309 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,041 BUT MY ANNIVERSARY-- 310 00:13:19,041 --> 00:13:21,959 SWEETIE, THREE WEEKS IS NOT AN ANNIVERSARY. 311 00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:23,083 BUT-- 312 00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:26,458 HANNAH, YOU ARE THE BEST. 313 00:13:26,458 --> 00:13:28,333 PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON 314 00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,208 THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME GET NOMINATED FOR AWARDS. 315 00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:33,667 THANK YOU. 316 00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:41,500 [♪♪♪] 317 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,959 AH. OKAY. 318 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:50,625 RIGHT! LOOKING GOOD, SIS. 319 00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:53,458 BROTHERS. 320 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:54,792 HAPPY HUNTING. 321 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,458 ALRIGHT, SWEETHEART. 322 00:13:56,458 --> 00:13:59,208 IF YOU FIND THE POSSUM AND IT ISN'T MOVING, 323 00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:01,375 IT COULD JUST BE PLAYING POSSUM. 324 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:02,667 OR IT'S DEAD FROM RABIES. 325 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:03,875 GROSS. 326 00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:04,875 EITHER WAY, 327 00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:06,041 DON'T TOUCH IT. 328 00:14:06,041 --> 00:14:08,291 USE THIS POSSUM CLUB. 329 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,000 EW, I THINK I FOUND IT! 330 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000 GET THE TRASH BAG! 331 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,667 OH, IT'S ALIVE! 332 00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:22,750 IT'S ALIVE AND I THINK IT HATES ME! 333 00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,959 USE THE CLUB! USE THE POSSUM CLUB! 334 00:14:24,959 --> 00:14:27,291 IT'S A BROOM, DAD! 335 00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:28,542 [GRUNTS] 336 00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:34,375 LOOK, YOUR SHOW 337 00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:36,417 IS THE NUMBER-ONE WEEKLY ANNOUNCEMENT SHOW 338 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,667 IN THIS SCHOOL-- 339 00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:39,041 IT'S THE ONLY WEEKLY ANNOUNCEMENT SHOW 340 00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:40,041 IN THIS SCHOOL. 341 00:14:40,041 --> 00:14:41,583 IT'S STILL NUMBER ONE! 342 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:42,875 OKAY? POINT IS-- 343 00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:46,500 I TELL ONE MORE KILLER MIKEY STORY ON AIR, 344 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,208 AND I HAVE THAT "STUDENT OF THE YEAR" AWARD LOCKED. 345 00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:51,333 YEAH, BUT TELLING EVERYONE YOU HELD A BOTTLE DRIVE 346 00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,166 TO RAISE MONEY TO BUY A BIONIC TAIL 347 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:55,417 TO SAVE MIKEY'S SICK DOG? 348 00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:56,708 I MEAN, MAYBE YOU'RE GOING TOO BIG. 349 00:14:56,708 --> 00:14:58,875 NO, THIS IS THE TIME TO GO BIG. 350 00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:01,875 IT'S THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH. I GOTTA SWING FOR THE FENCES. 351 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:03,250 MAYBE I SHOULD GO BIGGER. 352 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,250 [SNAPS] WHAT IF... 353 00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,250 ITS TAIL SHOOTS LASERS? 354 00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,166 THAT'D BE AWESOME. 355 00:15:10,166 --> 00:15:11,208 A LITTLE TOO BIG, BUDDY. 356 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:13,500 BUT I LIKE WHERE YOUR HEAD'S AT. 357 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,375 I'M STICKING WITH THE REGULAR BIONIC TAIL. 358 00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:17,041 I'M INSPIRED JUST THINKING OF IT. 359 00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:21,708 HEY, JACK. 360 00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:25,708 OH, HI! UH-- 361 00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:27,125 JEN... 362 00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:28,750 ...NIFER. 363 00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,125 HOW'S, EH...? 364 00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:32,125 HI. 365 00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:34,083 YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER. 366 00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:35,250 OH. NO, REALLY? 367 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,291 THANKS FOR RUBBING IT IN. I'M DYING HERE! 368 00:15:37,291 --> 00:15:39,708 NO, I MEAN, YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER. 369 00:15:39,708 --> 00:15:41,041 LISA WILL FREAK OUT! 370 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,291 LISA? 371 00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:45,875 YOUR SUPER-POSSESSIVE GIRLFRIEND FROM ARIZONA? 372 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:48,125 OH. OH, RIGHT. 373 00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:50,083 OKAY, I'LL GET RID OF HER, 374 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,750 AND THEN I'LL MEET YOU IN THE STUDIO. 375 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,000 OKAY. 376 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,583 HEY, LISTEN, I JUST WANTED TO CONGRATULATE YOU 377 00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:58,583 ON THE WHOLE STUDENT OF THE YEAR NOMINATION. 378 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,667 IT'S SO COOL WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR MIKEY. 379 00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:02,959 THANKS. HEH. YOU. 380 00:16:02,959 --> 00:16:05,125 NO, THANK-- THANK YOU 381 00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:07,083 IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY. 382 00:16:07,083 --> 00:16:08,959 OH, BOY. UH... LISTEN, I'M SORRY. 383 00:16:08,959 --> 00:16:10,250 I'M REALLY NERVOUS. 384 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,667 I DON'T LIKE ALL THIS ATTENTION. 385 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:12,667 YEAH. 386 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,250 I'M THAT WAY, TOO. 387 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,083 [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] 388 00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:19,000 UM, SO CAITLIN IS HAVING A POOL PARTY THIS WEEKEND, 389 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,125 AND I WAS THINKING... 390 00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:24,083 MAYBE YOU, RYAN AND ERIC MIGHT WANT TO COME TO IT? 391 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,500 S-SERIOUSLY? 392 00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:29,291 I MEAN, UH, SERIOUSLY? 393 00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:32,792 CAITLIN HAS A-- HAS A POOL IN THIS CLIMATE? 394 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,208 THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF WORK. 395 00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:37,792 YOU GOTTA GOTTA DRAIN IT IN THE WINTER. 396 00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:41,917 BUT YEAH, NO, NO THAT'D BE FUN. WE COULD TOTALLY POOL PARTY. 397 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,291 [SHE LAUGHS] 398 00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:44,708 COOL. WELL, UH... 399 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:46,333 GOOD LUCK IN THERE. 400 00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:48,000 THANKS. 401 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,500 HEY! 402 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,834 YOU SHOULD BRING MIKEY. 403 00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,333 YOU KNOW, I'D LOVE TO FINALLY MEET HIM. 404 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,000 TOTALLY! YEAH! 405 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,708 OH... 406 00:16:55,708 --> 00:16:58,834 HE'S TAKING HIS DOG IN FOR A SOFTWARE UPDATE THAT DAY. 407 00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,625 SOFTWARE UPDATE? 408 00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:01,667 YOU'LL SEE. 409 00:17:01,667 --> 00:17:04,000 [LAUGHS] BYE. 410 00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:09,000 SO, IN CONCLUSION, 411 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,083 BASED ON MY EXEMPLARY ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE, 412 00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:13,792 PERFECT ATTENDANCE, 413 00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:15,542 AND MY POSITION 414 00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:19,000 AS ASSISTANT MANAGER OF THE JUNIOR VARSITY SWIM TEAM, 415 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,250 I BELIEVE I SHOULD BE YOUR STUDENT OF THE YEAR. 416 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,041 THANK YOU. 417 00:17:24,041 --> 00:17:26,250 [CANNED APPLAUSE PLAYS] 418 00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:28,917 THANK YOU, STEPHANIE. 419 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,875 THAT WAS A LONG LIST OF THINGS YOU JUST READ. 420 00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:34,625 [FORCED CHUCKLE] 421 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:37,041 AND NOW... 422 00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:41,166 IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO CALL UP OUR FINAL NOMINEE-- 423 00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:43,208 [DRUM ROLL PLAYS] 424 00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:44,208 [DRUM-ROLLING ON HIS DESK] 425 00:17:44,208 --> 00:17:46,375 JACK PARKER! 426 00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:48,375 HEY! 427 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,333 -[CHUCKLES] -OH! HEY-- 428 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,708 PRINCIPAL KAR. 429 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:59,375 ESTEEMED TEACHERS, FELLOW STUDENTS... 430 00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:01,125 DO I DESERVE STUDENT OF THE YEAR? 431 00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:03,375 THAT'S NOT FOR ME TO DECIDE. 432 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,542 WHAT I DO KNOW IS, 433 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,083 STUDENT OF THE YEAR 434 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:08,166 WAS THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND 435 00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:10,417 THE DAY I FINALLY RAISED ENOUGH MONEY 436 00:18:10,417 --> 00:18:13,667 TO BUY MIKEY'S POOR, SICK DOG A ROBOT TAIL. 437 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,875 [CANNED AUDIENCE "AW"ING AND GUSHING] 438 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,208 YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE LITTLE GUY... 439 00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:18,208 WAGGING THAT THING. 440 00:18:18,208 --> 00:18:19,375 I MEAN, HE ALMOST TOOK OFF. 441 00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:21,583 [QUIETLY TO SELF]: THIS MAN IS AN ARTIST. 442 00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:22,750 I MAY NOT HAVE 443 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,875 THE BEST GRADES OR THE PERFECT ATTENDANCE, 444 00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:27,750 BUT I'M THE TYPE OF GUY THAT'LL RAISE MONEY 445 00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:31,667 TO BRING A POOR, SICK DOG'S BUTT INTO THE 21ST CENTURY. 446 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,291 I JUST WISH... 447 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:38,875 I WISH MIKEY COULD BE HERE RIGHT NOW. 448 00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:43,250 IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH FOR ME TO SHARE THIS MOMENT WITH HIM. 449 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:44,542 [SNIFFLING] 450 00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:47,417 IF HE WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, I WOULD TELL HIM-- 451 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,583 [BOY]: TELL ME WHAT, JACK? 452 00:18:52,959 --> 00:18:54,917 WHO SAID THAT? 453 00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:57,041 [BOY]: IT'S ME! 454 00:18:59,417 --> 00:19:00,792 MIKEY! 455 00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:02,834 [♪♪♪] 456 00:19:04,959 --> 00:19:05,959 MIKEY? 457 00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:06,959 NO! 458 00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:08,125 [CANNED APPLAUSE PLAYS] 459 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:09,500 MIKEY! 460 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:12,000 HEY, EVERYBODY, IT'S MIKEY! 461 00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:15,667 UH-H-H-H... 462 00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:17,750 W-- YOU'RE HERE. 463 00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:19,125 'COURSE I'M HERE! 464 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,917 I'M NOT GONNA MISS MY GOOD FRIEND'S SPECIAL DAY. NO WAY! 465 00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:23,000 HOW ABOUT 466 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,000 THIS GUY? 467 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,291 ISN'T HE THE GREATEST? 468 00:19:25,291 --> 00:19:27,000 [ALL APPLAUDING] 469 00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:40,291 [TENSE SIGH] 470 00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:41,333 OKAY! 471 00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:44,208 WHO ARE YOU? 472 00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:45,208 I'M MIKEY! 473 00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:48,166 NO. NO, NO, NO. NO, NO. NO. NO. 474 00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:50,667 YES. YES, YES, YES. YES, YES. YES, YES. 475 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:51,667 YES. 476 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,000 THA-- THAT CAN'T BE. 477 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,834 I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 478 00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:57,250 OF COURSE YOU HAVE. 479 00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,542 JUST CHECK US OUT ON "FACES AND FRIENDS." 480 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,542 WHA-- 481 00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:05,250 NO. OKAY, IT CAN'T BE. 482 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,959 IT SURE CAN. 483 00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:08,166 DUDE! 484 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,625 OH... DUDE. 485 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,417 I'M SURE I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THIS LITTLE PRANK. 486 00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:14,083 ME? NO. I DON'T HAVE THE LEVEL OF COMMITMENT 487 00:20:14,083 --> 00:20:15,708 TO TAKE ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 488 00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:17,000 AND I THINK IT'S A STEP ABOVE 489 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,375 ERIC'S CAPACITY FOR PLANNING AND EXECUTION. 490 00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:21,792 IS HE REAL? 491 00:20:21,792 --> 00:20:23,208 AM I REAL? 492 00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:24,583 IS ANYTHING REAL? 493 00:20:24,583 --> 00:20:26,333 YOU MUST BE RYAN. 494 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,542 JACK'S TRIED-AND-TRUE BEST FRIEND. 495 00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:29,542 THE KIND OF GUY THAT'D GIVE YOU 496 00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:30,708 THE UNDERWEAR OFF HIS BUTT 497 00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:31,792 IF YOU NEEDED 'EM. 498 00:20:31,792 --> 00:20:33,083 AW, DUDE! YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT? 499 00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,208 THAT WAS A SECRET. 500 00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:35,208 IT IS A SECRET! 501 00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,500 WELL, OBVIOUSLY, IT ISN'T! 502 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:40,375 I THOUGHT YOU MADE MIKEY UP! 503 00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:41,583 I DID MAKE HIM UP. 504 00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:43,792 WELL, THEN WHO'S TALKING TO ERIC OVER THERE? 505 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,875 A QUARTER? 506 00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:49,708 CHECK THE OTHER EAR. CHECK THE OTHER EAR! 507 00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:51,792 LOVIN' ME SOME ERIC. 508 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,542 I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET JEN AND ALL YOUR OTHER FRIENDS! 509 00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:55,917 [SIGHS] MAN. 510 00:20:55,917 --> 00:20:57,417 IF HE STARTS TALKING TO EVERYONE, 511 00:20:57,417 --> 00:20:59,083 I WON'T WIN STUDENT OF THE YEAR. 512 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,583 I WON'T GET TO GO TO FENWAY, 513 00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:03,667 AND FORGET ABOUT HANGING WITH DANNY KOSTAS. 514 00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:05,083 MAN, WE'VE GOT TO GET RID OF-- 515 00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:06,291 OH! 516 00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:07,375 JACKIE! 517 00:21:07,375 --> 00:21:09,583 [GASPS] OH! 518 00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:12,208 I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, JACKIE, BOO-BOO BEAR! 519 00:21:13,917 --> 00:21:15,708 WHO ARE YOU? 520 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,583 I'M LISA, YOU SILLY GOOSE. 521 00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:19,542 OH! THIS IS LISA! 522 00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:20,750 YOUR GIRLFRIEND! 523 00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:22,792 -FROM ARIZONA. -COOL. 524 00:21:22,792 --> 00:21:23,750 NO! NOT COOL. 525 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,583 IT'S NOT REAL. I MADE IT UP. 526 00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:26,792 THERE'S NO ARIZONA? 527 00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:29,250 I KNEW THE GRAND CANYON WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! 528 00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:32,750 WAIT! YOU MADE UP A FAKE GIRLFRIEND? 529 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,291 YOU LIED TO US? 530 00:21:34,291 --> 00:21:37,291 I AM NOT FAKE! 531 00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:40,458 SEE WHAT I MADE FOR YOU, SNOOKUMS? 532 00:21:45,792 --> 00:21:48,000 [♪♪♪] 533 00:21:50,125 --> 00:21:51,792 DUDE? 534 00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:54,291 ON IT. 535 00:21:55,834 --> 00:21:57,917 HEY... JEN. [CHUCKLES] 536 00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:01,625 UH... I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 537 00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:02,750 OKAY, OKAY. 538 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:04,458 UH, WHY ARE YOU HERE? 539 00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:06,291 WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND? 540 00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:08,250 WHAT? 541 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:09,458 I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND! 542 00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:12,250 ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME? 543 00:22:12,250 --> 00:22:13,291 [SOBS] 544 00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:16,959 AFTER I DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM ARIZONA? 545 00:22:16,959 --> 00:22:19,458 ON A LEARNER'S PERMIT? 546 00:22:20,542 --> 00:22:22,083 WOW, JACK, I'M SURPRISED! 547 00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:25,000 YOU AND LISA ALWAYS SEEMED SO SOLID. 548 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,250 HMM... 549 00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:29,166 I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU SHOULD TAKE JAZZ OR TAP. 550 00:22:29,166 --> 00:22:31,000 AND I HAVE NO IDEA 551 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,041 WHY YOU'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK ME THAT. 552 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:35,000 OKAY. JUST, UH... 553 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,667 TELL ME WHICH YOU LIKE BETTER. 554 00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,500 THIS ISN'T EVEN REAL! 555 00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,333 WHAT WE HAVE ISN'T REAL? 556 00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:46,834 [DARKLY]: I SEE HOW IT IS. 557 00:22:46,834 --> 00:22:49,166 [ROARS]: YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST THROW ME AWAY, 558 00:22:49,166 --> 00:22:50,542 LIKE A STALE ENCHILADA? 559 00:22:50,542 --> 00:22:54,458 WELL, GIRLFRIENDS ARE NOT ENCHILADAS, JACK! 560 00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,125 MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE BREAKING UP 561 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,417 IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS. 562 00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:58,667 WE AREN'T BREAKING UP. 563 00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,166 WE COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE BREAKING UP 564 00:23:00,166 --> 00:23:02,041 BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER DATING! 565 00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:05,500 [STARTS WAILING]: WAH-AH-AH! 566 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,041 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 567 00:23:07,041 --> 00:23:08,250 HOW ABOUT THIS? 568 00:23:08,250 --> 00:23:11,750 [LISA WAILING LOUDLY IN THE DISTANCE] 569 00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:14,625 LET'S GO OVER HERE WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE YOU CRYING. 570 00:23:17,917 --> 00:23:18,875 [LISA WHIMPERING] 571 00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:19,875 TA-DAH! 572 00:23:19,875 --> 00:23:23,000 AS IMPRESSIVE AS THIS IS... NOT, 573 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,750 JUST TELL JACK THAT I CAME OUT HERE TO SEE MIKEY, 574 00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:28,166 BUT YOU WEIRDED ME OUT, SO I LEFT. 575 00:23:28,166 --> 00:23:30,875 OKAY. 576 00:23:34,208 --> 00:23:35,875 I THINK JAZZ, BUT... 577 00:23:35,875 --> 00:23:37,875 LET ME SEE THE TAP AGAIN. 578 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,250 CALM DOWN. I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME. 579 00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:40,250 I'M REALLY EXCITED TO SEE YOU. 580 00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:42,583 I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE. 581 00:23:42,583 --> 00:23:44,583 LET'S GET A FAMILY CELL PLAN. 582 00:23:44,583 --> 00:23:46,875 THAT WAY, OUR LOVE WILL BE FOREVER. 583 00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:49,041 YEAH... LET'S DO THAT. 584 00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:52,917 UH... OH! BUT I GOT SCHOOL, SO HOW ABOUT I MEET YOU AFTER? 585 00:23:52,917 --> 00:23:54,583 AFTER SCHOOL IT IS. EE! 586 00:23:54,583 --> 00:23:56,375 OKAY. 587 00:23:56,375 --> 00:23:58,875 OH! YOU KNOW WHAT, MIKEY? 588 00:23:58,875 --> 00:24:01,291 WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH HER, SO SHE DOESN'T GET LOST? 589 00:24:01,291 --> 00:24:03,083 OH, BUT I WANTED TO MEET-- 590 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,291 THANKS, MAN. YOU'RE JUST THE BEST. 591 00:24:04,291 --> 00:24:07,000 DON'T KEEP ME WAITING TOO LONG, POOKIE. 592 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,000 YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE TO BE DISAPPOINTED. 593 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,917 [GIGGLES] 594 00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:15,917 DUDE! WHAT IS HAPPENING? 595 00:24:15,917 --> 00:24:18,333 WORST-CASE SCENARIO? 596 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:19,834 WORST-CASE SCENARIO! 597 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:21,417 ALL OF MY LIES ARE ALL COMING TRUE. 598 00:24:21,417 --> 00:24:23,667 SOMEHOW, THE THINGS THAT I MADE UP ARE REAL NOW. 599 00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:25,792 WHAT? HOW? WHAT? 600 00:24:25,792 --> 00:24:26,792 EXACTLY. 601 00:24:26,792 --> 00:24:27,792 SO, WAIT-- 602 00:24:27,792 --> 00:24:30,959 IF I LIE ABOUT SOMETHING, IT'LL COME TRUE? 603 00:24:32,125 --> 00:24:34,375 I... HAVE A JET-PACK! 604 00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:37,125 I MEAN, I'M NOT GOING CRAZY, AM I? 605 00:24:37,125 --> 00:24:38,291 AM I GOING CRAZY? 606 00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:39,291 [THUD] 607 00:24:39,291 --> 00:24:41,959 GUYS, IT DIDN'T WORK FOR ME. 608 00:24:41,959 --> 00:24:45,208 MAYBE I SHOULD TO TRY IT FROM HIGHER. 609 00:24:45,208 --> 00:24:47,458 WE CAN'T BOTH BE GOING CRAZY. 610 00:24:47,458 --> 00:24:49,458 I'M SURE THERE'S A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION 611 00:24:49,458 --> 00:24:51,000 FOR ALL THIS. 612 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,625 HAVE YOU ANGERED A GENIE? 613 00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:55,291 OR, UH, STOLEN GOLD FROM A LEPRECHAUN? 614 00:24:55,291 --> 00:24:56,750 NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF. 615 00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:57,792 WELL, WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT 616 00:24:57,792 --> 00:24:59,792 HOW TO STOP THIS BEFORE IT GETS WORSE. 617 00:24:59,792 --> 00:25:01,250 "WORSE"? 618 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:04,500 HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE? 619 00:25:06,166 --> 00:25:08,166 OH! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 620 00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:10,333 YOU NEVER SAY THAT! ROOKIE MOVE, MAN! 621 00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:11,625 SO YOU THINK YOU CAN COME INTO OUR FOREST, 622 00:25:11,625 --> 00:25:14,291 PICK A FIGHT... AND JUST FORGET ABOUT IT? 623 00:25:16,041 --> 00:25:17,125 WE DIDN'T FORGET. 624 00:25:17,125 --> 00:25:19,708 LUMBERJACKS HAVE MEMORIES LIKE MOOSE. 625 00:25:19,708 --> 00:25:21,875 MOOSE HAVE EXCELLENT MEMORIES. 626 00:25:21,875 --> 00:25:23,458 DON'T TELL ME. THE LUMBERJACKS? 627 00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:25,875 FROM WHEN YOU DIDN'T BREAK YOUR ARM AT THE BIKE PARK? 628 00:25:25,875 --> 00:25:27,166 OH, OKAY. GUYS... 629 00:25:27,166 --> 00:25:29,333 THERE'S NO NEED TO GET PHYSICAL. WE CAN WORK THIS OUT! 630 00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:31,625 I CAME HERE TO WEAR FLANNEL AND KICK BUTT. 631 00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:33,959 AND I ALREADY GOT MY FLANNELS ON! 632 00:25:33,959 --> 00:25:36,041 FLANNEL IS THE FABRIC OF CHOICE FOR LUMBERJACKIN' 633 00:25:36,041 --> 00:25:40,166 BECAUSE IT CONTINUES TO INSULATE EVEN WHEN IT'S WET. 634 00:25:40,166 --> 00:25:43,667 THAT WAS SURPRISINGLY INFORMATIVE. 635 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:46,583 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT THEM. YOU GUYS TAKE THE BIG ONE. 636 00:25:46,583 --> 00:25:47,750 THEY'RE BOTH THE BIG ONE! 637 00:25:47,750 --> 00:25:49,208 [ROARS] 638 00:25:49,208 --> 00:25:50,625 [STOPS ROARING] 639 00:25:50,625 --> 00:25:52,708 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 640 00:25:53,667 --> 00:25:55,041 STURDY. HEH. 641 00:25:55,041 --> 00:25:57,333 GOOD LUCK. 642 00:25:57,333 --> 00:26:00,250 OKAY. I CAN BUY YOU THREE SECONDS. 643 00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:02,834 HEY, GUYS! 644 00:26:02,834 --> 00:26:06,000 CAN I GET YOUR OPINION ON SOMETHING? 645 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,417 [FEET TAPPING] 646 00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:14,333 NO-NO-NO-- NO, OKAY. OKAY. 647 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,000 [RYAN YELPS]: OOH! I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUPPOSED TO STRETCH! 648 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,917 AHH-- 649 00:26:20,917 --> 00:26:23,458 OOH! AH! 650 00:26:23,458 --> 00:26:26,417 [HIGH VOICE]: SO MAYBE THE JAZZ, THEN? 651 00:26:36,417 --> 00:26:38,125 [LUMBERJACKS GRUNTING] 652 00:26:38,125 --> 00:26:40,125 [FUMING] 653 00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:42,917 -PULL HARDER! -IT'S SUCK! 654 00:26:42,917 --> 00:26:45,000 YOU'D BETTER BE COWERING IN THERE! 655 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,291 [GRUNTING] 656 00:26:46,291 --> 00:26:48,834 [ROCK]: COME ON, CHIP! PUT SOME MUSCLE INTO IT. 657 00:27:00,291 --> 00:27:03,125 JACK? 658 00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:04,291 AHH. HI, JENNIFER. 659 00:27:04,291 --> 00:27:05,583 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 660 00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:08,250 OH. UM, LUMBERJACKS. 661 00:27:08,250 --> 00:27:11,125 I'M GOING TO PRETEND THAT'S NOT A WEIRD ANSWER. 662 00:27:11,125 --> 00:27:12,625 SO, UH, WHATCHA-- WHATCHA DOIN'? 663 00:27:12,625 --> 00:27:13,959 OH, JUST TALKING TO MIKEY. 664 00:27:13,959 --> 00:27:15,000 WHAT? 665 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,458 HEY, BUDDY. 666 00:27:16,458 --> 00:27:17,792 NICE SHIRT! 667 00:27:17,792 --> 00:27:19,792 A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN'T PULL OFF THE SHREDDED LOOK, 668 00:27:19,792 --> 00:27:20,959 BUT YOU ARE NAILIN' IT. 669 00:27:20,959 --> 00:27:22,166 [SNAP] 670 00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:25,125 -[ROARING]: IT'S TIMBER-R-R-R-- -TIMBER-R-R-- 671 00:27:25,125 --> 00:27:26,625 [OVERLAPPING, MEEKLY]: ...TIME. 672 00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:28,834 OKAY, UH, LET'S GO STAND SOMEWHERE ELSE. 673 00:27:28,834 --> 00:27:29,792 HERE THEY ARE! 674 00:27:29,792 --> 00:27:32,125 OKAY. 675 00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:35,125 COLUMBIAN MAPLE? [SCOFFS] 676 00:27:35,125 --> 00:27:38,125 IT'S LIKE THE GUY'S NEVER BARRICADED A DOOR BEFORE. 677 00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:40,500 [BOTH CRACKING UP] 678 00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:41,625 [PLANK CLATTERS] 679 00:27:41,625 --> 00:27:43,458 I TOLD YOU TO STAY WITH LISA. 680 00:27:43,458 --> 00:27:45,125 OH, SHE GOT TIRED OF WAITING AROUND AND TOOK OFF. 681 00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:46,625 SOMETHING ABOUT STAKING OUT YOUR HOUSE? 682 00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,500 WAIT. WHO'S LISA? 683 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,667 OH, UH, JUST A... 684 00:27:50,667 --> 00:27:52,500 OLD FRIEND FROM COLLEGE. 685 00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:54,041 YOU'RE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL. 686 00:27:54,041 --> 00:27:55,208 IT WAS A SUMMER PROGRAM. 687 00:27:55,208 --> 00:27:57,458 WELL, I'M GLAD I GOT TO FINALLY MEET MIKEY. 688 00:27:57,458 --> 00:27:59,333 HE'S FANTASTIC. 689 00:27:59,333 --> 00:28:00,875 WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? 690 00:28:00,875 --> 00:28:03,041 YOU HAVE TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE. 691 00:28:03,041 --> 00:28:04,500 WE HAVE THE CUTEST KITTY. 692 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,542 AW! 693 00:28:06,542 --> 00:28:07,959 YOU THROW IN SOME LEMONADE, 694 00:28:07,959 --> 00:28:11,333 AND YOU JUST DESCRIBED MY PERFECT AFTERNOON. 695 00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:12,500 WE'VE GOT A HUGGER! 696 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,000 OH, OKAY. 697 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,959 WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO HER? YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER. 698 00:28:15,959 --> 00:28:18,208 -WHY CAN'T I TALK TO HER? -YEAH, WHY CAN'T HE TALK TO ME? 699 00:28:18,208 --> 00:28:19,291 IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, 700 00:28:19,291 --> 00:28:21,250 YOU GUYS ARE JUST BOTH COMPLETE STRANGERS. 701 00:28:21,250 --> 00:28:22,375 WE ARE NOT STRANGERS. 702 00:28:22,375 --> 00:28:23,875 YOU'VE TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT JENNY, 703 00:28:23,875 --> 00:28:25,708 -I FEEL LIKE I ALREADY KNOW HER. "JENNY"? 704 00:28:25,708 --> 00:28:26,750 YOU TALK ABOUT ME? 705 00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:28,000 PFFT. NO! 706 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,417 SURE HE DOES. 707 00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:31,625 AND YOU ARE JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS JACK IS ALWAYS SAYING YOU ARE. 708 00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:33,000 I NEVER TOLD SAID THAT TO YOU! 709 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,250 YOU DON'T THINK SHE'S BEAUTIFUL? 710 00:28:34,250 --> 00:28:35,917 OH, WHAT? [STAMMERING] 711 00:28:35,917 --> 00:28:38,333 NO, I-- [SIGHING] 712 00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:41,834 WILL YOU EXCUSE US FOR A SECOND? THANK YOU. 713 00:28:45,166 --> 00:28:46,291 I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKE HER SO MUCH. 714 00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:47,750 DUDE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU! 715 00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:51,000 WILL YOU PLEASE JUST STAY AWAY FROM HER? AND ALL MY FRIENDS! 716 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,375 I HAVE BIG THINGS GOING ON THIS WEEK, 717 00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:55,500 AND I CAN'T HAVE YOU MESSING THEM UP! 718 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,542 [KID]: HEY, LOOK! ISN'T THAT MIKEY? 719 00:28:57,542 --> 00:28:58,625 HEY! 720 00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:03,792 [LAUGHTER AND CHATTER] 721 00:29:07,375 --> 00:29:09,875 THEY WEDGIED ME SO HARD, I CAN TASTE MY UNDERWEAR. 722 00:29:09,875 --> 00:29:11,917 I THINK I NEED PLIERS TO DIG THEM OUT. 723 00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:13,375 [LAUGHING AND CHATTING] 724 00:29:13,375 --> 00:29:15,041 THIS GUY'S GOTTA BE A FAKE. 725 00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:17,708 IF ONLY WE COULD PROVE IT. 726 00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:19,291 MAYBE WE CAN. 727 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:22,792 WE HAVE TO DEFEAT HIM IN THE ARENA OF THE MIND. 728 00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:27,458 OKAY. 729 00:29:27,458 --> 00:29:29,125 [RYAN WHIMPERING] 730 00:29:29,125 --> 00:29:31,875 OH... HEY, MIKEY. 731 00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:35,458 SO, YOU'VE KNOWN JACK A WHILE NOW, HUH? 732 00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:38,375 YEAH, TWO YEARS. A TRUE FRIEND. 733 00:29:38,375 --> 00:29:39,792 AREN'T FRIENDS THE GREATEST? 734 00:29:39,792 --> 00:29:40,917 YEAH. 735 00:29:40,917 --> 00:29:43,250 I STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I MET JACK. 736 00:29:43,250 --> 00:29:45,750 THIRD GRADE! SCIENCE CLASS. 737 00:29:45,750 --> 00:29:48,417 OH! YEAH, YEAH. 738 00:29:48,417 --> 00:29:51,875 I WAS TOTALLY BUMMED BECAUSE, UH, 739 00:29:51,875 --> 00:29:52,917 MY PET GOLDFISH HAD JUST DIED. 740 00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:54,166 UH, "LADYBUG." 741 00:29:54,166 --> 00:29:56,667 AND RYAN HELPED ME FLUSH HIM. 742 00:29:57,750 --> 00:29:59,291 THAT'S JUST WHAT FRIENDS DO. 743 00:29:59,291 --> 00:30:01,417 YOU GUYS NEVER TOLD ME THAT STORY. 744 00:30:01,417 --> 00:30:03,375 THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. 745 00:30:03,375 --> 00:30:06,250 HMM, WELL, I MUST HAVE THINGS WRONG, 746 00:30:06,250 --> 00:30:08,458 BECAUSE, IF I RECALL, 747 00:30:08,458 --> 00:30:09,625 YOU MET IN THE FIFTH GRADE. 748 00:30:09,625 --> 00:30:10,792 YOUR PET DIDN'T DIE, IT ESCAPED, 749 00:30:10,792 --> 00:30:12,750 WHICH MAKES MORE SENSE, BECAUSE IT WAS A TURTLE, 750 00:30:12,750 --> 00:30:14,000 NOT A GOLDFISH, 751 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,458 AND YOU DIDN'T FLUSH IT, RYAN HELPED YOU PAINT A ROCK 752 00:30:15,458 --> 00:30:17,417 UNDER THE BIG OAK TREE IN YOUR BACKYARD AS A MEMORIAL. 753 00:30:17,417 --> 00:30:18,583 AND SOMETIMES... 754 00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:21,458 YOU STILL HEAR THE PITTER-PATTER OF TINY FLIPPERS 755 00:30:21,458 --> 00:30:23,291 WHEN YOU SIT IN ITS SHADE. 756 00:30:23,291 --> 00:30:24,750 [SIGHS] 757 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,375 AT LEAST THAT'S HOW I REMEMBER IT. 758 00:30:30,041 --> 00:30:32,000 THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. 759 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,458 WHY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? 760 00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:38,041 [CAR HORN HONKS] 761 00:30:38,041 --> 00:30:40,750 LET'S GO, PIT-STAINS. 762 00:30:42,208 --> 00:30:43,333 OKAY, LET'S FIGURE THIS OUT. 763 00:30:43,333 --> 00:30:44,542 HOW MANY LIES HAVE YOU TOLD? 764 00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:46,625 I STARTED A LIST. 765 00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:49,208 ONE TIME, I TRIED TO IMPRESS PEOPLE AT SUMMER CAMP 766 00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:51,500 BY TELLING THEM MY UNCLE WAS A PRO WRESTLER 767 00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:53,834 OH, I WAS LATE MEETING ERIC AT THE MOVIES 768 00:30:53,834 --> 00:30:55,792 SO I SAID I WAS ALMOST ABDUCTED BY ALIENS. 769 00:30:55,792 --> 00:30:58,041 YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. 770 00:30:58,041 --> 00:31:00,625 I SAID I WAS ADOPTED BY ASIAN PARENTS 771 00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,208 SO I COULD CUT CLASS ON CHINESE NEW YEAR-- 772 00:31:02,208 --> 00:31:03,625 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE IT'S EASIER 773 00:31:03,625 --> 00:31:05,458 IF YOU LIST THE THINGS YOU DIDN'T LIE ABOUT. 774 00:31:05,458 --> 00:31:07,083 HANNAH? 775 00:31:07,083 --> 00:31:09,667 WHEN YOU GOT BRACES, I WAS EMBARRASSED. 776 00:31:09,667 --> 00:31:11,000 I TOLD PEOPLE I DIDN'T HAVE A SISTER. 777 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,166 BUT YOU'RE STILL HERE. YOU'RE STILL HERE! 778 00:31:12,166 --> 00:31:14,708 THAT MEANS THERE'S STILL HOPE! 779 00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:18,166 [BRAKES SCREECH] 780 00:31:18,166 --> 00:31:21,333 OKAY. I'LL HOP ON THE CRAZY TRAIN. 781 00:31:21,333 --> 00:31:23,208 WHAT ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT? 782 00:31:26,291 --> 00:31:27,542 HEY. LOOK! 783 00:31:27,542 --> 00:31:29,333 IT'S JENNIFER AND MIKEY! 784 00:31:29,333 --> 00:31:30,834 OVER HERE, GUYS! 785 00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:37,041 WE HAVE TO FOLLOW THEM. 786 00:31:37,041 --> 00:31:40,542 WE HAVE TO FIND OUT WHAT HE'S SAYING TO HER. 787 00:31:40,542 --> 00:31:42,458 [SIGHS] I DON'T KNOW-- 788 00:31:47,667 --> 00:31:49,792 I'M JUST TWO BLOCKS UP ON THE LEFT. 789 00:31:51,166 --> 00:31:52,583 [RESENTFUL SIGH] 790 00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:01,083 OKAY, LET'S GO. 791 00:32:01,083 --> 00:32:03,750 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, ACT NATURAL. 792 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,458 [SIGHS DISMISSIVELY] 793 00:32:09,917 --> 00:32:11,667 DUDE, WOULD YOU STOP THAT? 794 00:32:11,667 --> 00:32:13,583 THE NEIGHBORS ARE GONNA THINK WE'RE UP TO SOMETHING. 795 00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:15,625 WE ARE UP TO SOMETHING! 796 00:32:19,333 --> 00:32:22,000 [MIKEY AND JENNIFER LAUGHING] 797 00:32:26,250 --> 00:32:27,417 OH... 798 00:32:27,417 --> 00:32:30,125 DUDE, HAS JENNIFER EVER INVITED YOU OVER? 799 00:32:30,125 --> 00:32:31,500 SILENCE! 800 00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:33,125 -[JACK GASPS] -[BOYS HIT GROUND] 801 00:32:35,792 --> 00:32:37,041 YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. 802 00:32:37,041 --> 00:32:39,583 I KNOW. I'M GOING IN. 803 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,250 WHAT? 804 00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:42,583 I LIED THIS GUY INTO EXISTENCE. 805 00:32:42,583 --> 00:32:43,625 I NEED TO MAKE SURE 806 00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:45,250 HE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING TO HURT ANYONE, 807 00:32:45,250 --> 00:32:48,417 OR WORSE-- MESS UP MY CHANCES WITH THE SOX. 808 00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:49,625 THAT'S WORSE? 809 00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:51,750 FINE, "EQUALLY TRAGIC." 810 00:32:51,750 --> 00:32:52,792 [DISGUSTED GROAN] 811 00:32:57,250 --> 00:32:59,041 -DUDE. -ON IT. 812 00:33:01,417 --> 00:33:03,917 [DOORBELL CHIMES] 813 00:33:06,917 --> 00:33:08,333 HI. CAN I HELP YOU? 814 00:33:08,333 --> 00:33:09,750 YEAH, UM, HI. 815 00:33:09,750 --> 00:33:11,583 -HI! -HI. 816 00:33:11,583 --> 00:33:13,959 I'M SELLING BUMBLEBEE GIRLS COOKIES. 817 00:33:13,959 --> 00:33:17,041 AND YOU'RE A BUMBLEBEE... GIRL? 818 00:33:17,041 --> 00:33:19,834 NOT YET. JUST GOT TO SELL SOME MORE COOKIES. 819 00:33:19,834 --> 00:33:21,291 OH... [CHUCKLES] 820 00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:23,583 YOU ARE... [CHUCKLES] 821 00:33:23,583 --> 00:33:25,000 [MIKEY AND JENNIFER LAUGHING] 822 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,834 SO... 823 00:33:26,834 --> 00:33:27,834 I'M JUST GONNA GRAB MY PURSE. 824 00:33:27,834 --> 00:33:29,250 NO, NO. NO, NO. 825 00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:33,667 UM, FIRST, I NEED TO RECITE THE BUMBLEBEE GIRL CODE FOR YOU. 826 00:33:33,667 --> 00:33:35,083 GREAT. 827 00:33:35,083 --> 00:33:38,458 "A BUMBLEBEE GIRL IS HONEST AND TRUE. 828 00:33:38,458 --> 00:33:43,333 "A BUMBLEBEE GIRL IS BLACK AND--" 829 00:33:43,333 --> 00:33:44,333 YELLOW? 830 00:33:44,333 --> 00:33:45,667 YELLOW! [AWKWARD LAUGH] 831 00:33:45,667 --> 00:33:49,375 UH, "A BUMBLEBEE GIRL NEVER STINGS UNLESS SHE HAS TO." 832 00:33:53,125 --> 00:33:55,667 [JENNIFER]: AND THIS IS BUTTONS. 833 00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:57,667 [MIKEY]: OH, MY GOSH, BUTTONS IS SO CUTE. 834 00:33:57,667 --> 00:33:58,959 [JENNIFER]: I KNOW! 835 00:33:58,959 --> 00:34:00,333 [MIKEY]: BUTTONS IS CUTE AS A BUTTON 836 00:34:00,333 --> 00:34:01,333 INSIDE A BUTTON. 837 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:04,917 THAT'S BUTTON WITHIN ANOTHER BUTTON. 838 00:34:06,708 --> 00:34:07,750 [JENNIFER]: YOU ARE CRAZY. 839 00:34:07,750 --> 00:34:08,834 [MIKEY]: HE'S SO CUTE! 840 00:34:08,834 --> 00:34:10,333 I WANT TO SNUGGLE WITH HIM! 841 00:34:10,333 --> 00:34:11,500 KITTENS. 842 00:34:15,708 --> 00:34:17,834 [EXHALES DEEPLY] 843 00:34:21,125 --> 00:34:23,542 [HUMMING] 844 00:34:23,542 --> 00:34:27,208 [WATER RUNNING] 845 00:34:27,208 --> 00:34:29,500 [HUMMING LOUDER] 846 00:34:31,542 --> 00:34:33,917 OH, YEAH. 847 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,708 PEW! 848 00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:41,875 [SNIFFING] OOH. 849 00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:45,250 [SNIFFS AND GAGS] 850 00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:51,417 [SNIFFS] MM! HELLO. 851 00:34:52,542 --> 00:34:54,333 [WATER CONTINUES RUNNING] 852 00:35:04,208 --> 00:35:05,542 [EXHALES CONTENTEDLY] 853 00:35:05,542 --> 00:35:07,583 [WIFE LINDA]: HONEY! 854 00:35:07,583 --> 00:35:10,083 DO YOU WANT SOME BUMBLEBEE GIRL COOKIES? 855 00:35:10,083 --> 00:35:12,750 OOH! GET ME THE "LEMONY ZESTS." 856 00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:16,125 BUT NO "PEPPERMINT FATTIES!" THEY'RE WAY OVERRATED! 857 00:35:16,125 --> 00:35:17,750 HANG ON. 858 00:35:17,750 --> 00:35:20,375 I'D BETTER HANDLE THIS. 859 00:35:22,375 --> 00:35:24,750 [SHUTS WATER OFF] 860 00:35:33,125 --> 00:35:35,291 [SLIPPING] 861 00:35:35,291 --> 00:35:37,959 [CRASHING] 862 00:36:07,625 --> 00:36:09,708 [CRASHING] 863 00:36:09,708 --> 00:36:11,750 [BOWL SHATTERING] 864 00:36:12,959 --> 00:36:14,166 WHAT... 865 00:36:14,166 --> 00:36:15,667 JUST... 866 00:36:15,667 --> 00:36:17,250 HAPPENED? 867 00:36:20,375 --> 00:36:22,542 [MIKEY AND JENNIFER LAUGHING] 868 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,375 [LAUGHING AS GLASSES CLINK] 869 00:36:30,375 --> 00:36:32,125 I SAID I DON'T WANT ANY "PEPPERMINT FATTIES." 870 00:36:32,125 --> 00:36:33,208 I TOLD HIM, HAL. 871 00:36:33,208 --> 00:36:34,333 I TOLD HIM, I SAID, 872 00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:37,250 "MY HUSBAND DOESN'T LIKE THE PEPPERMINT FATTIES." 873 00:36:37,250 --> 00:36:40,000 [LINDA]: SO... BEST OF LUCK BECOMING A BUMBLE BEE GIRL. 874 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,250 WAIT. 875 00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:43,333 FIRST, I NEED TO GET YOUR OPINION ON SOMETHING. 876 00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:45,458 [HUMMING AS HE TAPS] 877 00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:47,667 WHOO! [CHUCKLES] 878 00:36:47,667 --> 00:36:49,166 OKAY. OR... OR-- 879 00:36:49,166 --> 00:36:52,750 [JENNIFER]: YEAH, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE 880 00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:54,875 JACK IS ALWAYS PLAYING GAMES, YOU KNOW? 881 00:36:54,875 --> 00:36:56,875 [MIKEY]: I'VE FOUND THAT PEOPLE TEND TO PLAY GAMES 882 00:36:56,875 --> 00:36:58,917 WHEN THEY'RE AFRAID TO SHOW YOU WHO THEY REALLY ARE. 883 00:36:58,917 --> 00:37:01,708 I'M WITH OLD BEN FRANKLIN ON THIS ONE-- 884 00:37:01,708 --> 00:37:03,917 HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. 885 00:37:03,917 --> 00:37:05,041 [CHUCKLING] 886 00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,166 WHAT DOES THAT GUY KNOW ABOUT HONESTY? 887 00:37:06,166 --> 00:37:07,959 HE'S A TOTAL LIE! 888 00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:09,542 YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE I CAN TELL YOU ANYTHING, MIKEY. 889 00:37:09,542 --> 00:37:10,750 WELL, YOU CAN DEFINITELY TELL ME 890 00:37:10,750 --> 00:37:12,708 WHERE I CAN GET SOME MORE 891 00:37:12,708 --> 00:37:14,875 OF THESE DELICIOUS MUFFINS. 892 00:37:14,875 --> 00:37:16,375 THEY'RE DELICIOUS. 893 00:37:16,375 --> 00:37:19,625 [FUMES QUIETLY]: OH, YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THOSE MUFFINS. 894 00:37:19,625 --> 00:37:20,708 [CELL PHONE CHIMES] 895 00:37:20,708 --> 00:37:23,875 DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING? 896 00:37:23,875 --> 00:37:24,875 [MIKEY]: MUST'VE BEEN YOUR FOLKS... 897 00:37:24,875 --> 00:37:25,875 HOW MANY EMOTICONS CAN YOU USE? 898 00:37:25,875 --> 00:37:27,041 ...WHO ARE AWESOME, BY THE WAY! 899 00:37:27,041 --> 00:37:28,041 [JENNIFER CHUCKLES] 900 00:37:28,041 --> 00:37:30,708 ♪ DOO-DAH! ♪ 901 00:37:30,708 --> 00:37:32,875 -YEAH... -YEAH? 902 00:37:32,875 --> 00:37:35,208 WELL, "YES" TO THE TAP, 903 00:37:35,208 --> 00:37:39,333 BUT I'M STICKING STRONG ON "NO" TO THE PEPPERMINT FATTIES. 904 00:37:40,750 --> 00:37:42,583 AW, COME ON. 905 00:37:42,583 --> 00:37:43,625 NO. WAIT! 906 00:37:43,625 --> 00:37:44,834 BUMBLEBEES NEVER GIVE UP! 907 00:37:44,834 --> 00:37:48,250 HAL, HONEY, CAN YOU EMPTY THE KITTY LITTER? 908 00:37:48,250 --> 00:37:50,625 BUT MY BUBBLE BATH IS GONNA GET COLD. 909 00:37:50,625 --> 00:37:52,583 IT'S BEEN A WEEK. 910 00:37:52,583 --> 00:37:55,125 -[SIGHS] FINE. -LOVE YOU! 911 00:37:57,750 --> 00:38:00,000 UGH. KITTENS. 912 00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:12,542 [JACK GROANING] 913 00:38:23,959 --> 00:38:27,125 [HAL GROANING]: OHH! OHH, OHH... 914 00:38:30,083 --> 00:38:32,583 OHH... UGH. 915 00:38:40,125 --> 00:38:42,458 GROSS. 916 00:38:42,458 --> 00:38:43,792 SO GROSS. 917 00:38:45,291 --> 00:38:47,250 OH! 918 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,458 SHH, SHH, SHH... 919 00:39:07,458 --> 00:39:08,542 [HAL]: HONEY? 920 00:39:08,542 --> 00:39:11,291 THE GARBAGE ISN'T A TOY. OKAY? 921 00:39:11,291 --> 00:39:12,917 ENJOY YOUR TEA. 922 00:39:12,917 --> 00:39:15,208 [HAL CHUCKLES, THEN GROANS] 923 00:39:16,458 --> 00:39:18,166 PLEASE, PLEASE! SHH, SHH, SHH! 924 00:39:27,166 --> 00:39:29,375 [DEJECTED SIGH] 925 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,875 [TIRES SCREECHING] 926 00:39:39,875 --> 00:39:44,500 SON, WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? 927 00:39:44,500 --> 00:39:46,750 NEIGHBORS CALLED ABOUT A TRESPASSER. 928 00:39:46,750 --> 00:39:48,000 DON'T YOU WORK AT THE CONVENTION CENTER? 929 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,083 I DID. 930 00:39:49,083 --> 00:39:51,375 UNTIL I WAS FIRED FOR LEAVING MY POST 931 00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:52,542 TO CHASE PRETEND BEARS. 932 00:39:52,542 --> 00:39:53,834 IF I EVER CATCH 933 00:39:53,834 --> 00:39:55,375 THAT LITTLE PUNK THAT LIED TO ME, 934 00:39:55,375 --> 00:39:56,917 I'M GONNA WRITE SUCH A-- 935 00:39:56,917 --> 00:39:58,667 JACK? 936 00:39:59,708 --> 00:40:01,375 OH... HEY. 937 00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:03,875 JENNIFER. [CHUCKLES] 938 00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:05,500 MIKEY. 939 00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:07,208 YOU OKAY, PARDNER? 940 00:40:07,208 --> 00:40:08,500 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 941 00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:13,166 YOU KNOW, I'D RATHER NOT SAY, SO I'M JUST GONNA-- 942 00:40:15,375 --> 00:40:16,333 HEY! 943 00:40:16,333 --> 00:40:20,625 THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR! 944 00:40:20,625 --> 00:40:23,333 HAD MY HOUSE KEYS ON IT! 945 00:40:26,375 --> 00:40:29,917 [RYAN]: I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT, DUDE. 946 00:40:29,917 --> 00:40:31,542 I MEAN, IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE. 947 00:40:31,542 --> 00:40:33,542 [CRACK] 948 00:40:37,250 --> 00:40:39,583 DUDE, I HAD TO SHOWER THREE TIMES 949 00:40:39,583 --> 00:40:42,542 JUST TO GET THE KITTY LITTER OUTTA MY EARS. 950 00:40:42,542 --> 00:40:45,917 YOU KNOW, I'M SURE JENNIFER'S FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT. 951 00:40:45,917 --> 00:40:47,708 YEAH, SHE'S NEVER GONNA FORGET ABOUT IT. 952 00:40:47,708 --> 00:40:49,041 THIS AFTERNOON, 953 00:40:49,041 --> 00:40:50,250 I HAD IT ALL, 954 00:40:50,250 --> 00:40:52,750 NOW IT'S ALL FALLING APART BECAUSE OF MIKEY. 955 00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:54,291 WELL, TECHNICALLY, YOU MADE HIM, 956 00:40:54,291 --> 00:40:56,333 SO, REALLY, IT'S ON YOU. 957 00:40:57,417 --> 00:40:58,875 WELL, WE HAVE TO THINK TACTICALLY. 958 00:40:58,875 --> 00:41:01,125 WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO MIKEY IS 959 00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,625 AND SEND HIM BACK TO WHATEVER DIMENSION HE CAME FROM. 960 00:41:03,625 --> 00:41:05,125 [CRACK] 961 00:41:05,125 --> 00:41:06,792 DUDE. DROP THE BAT. 962 00:41:06,792 --> 00:41:08,291 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PRACTICE BAT-BOYING 963 00:41:08,291 --> 00:41:09,625 IF YOU DON'T DROP THE BAT? 964 00:41:09,625 --> 00:41:11,083 YEAH. RIGHT. SORRY. 965 00:41:11,083 --> 00:41:13,417 -THANK YOU. -NAILED IT. 966 00:41:13,417 --> 00:41:14,834 THANKS. 967 00:41:19,125 --> 00:41:23,125 [STUDENTS LAUGHING AND CHATTING] 968 00:41:23,125 --> 00:41:24,834 [WHISPERING AND SNICKERING] 969 00:41:26,083 --> 00:41:27,959 YOU DON'T THINK THEY'RE LAUGHING ABOUT 970 00:41:27,959 --> 00:41:29,959 WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY, DO YOU? 971 00:41:29,959 --> 00:41:32,875 NAH. I'M SURE IT'S SOMETHING ELSE. 972 00:41:32,875 --> 00:41:34,792 DUDE! I JUST HEARD THE FUNNIEST THING 973 00:41:34,792 --> 00:41:37,583 ABOUT YOU WEARING MAKEUP OUTSIDE JENNIFER'S HOUSE. 974 00:41:37,583 --> 00:41:39,458 EVERYBODY'S LAUGHING ABOUT IT. 975 00:41:39,458 --> 00:41:42,458 I MEAN, EVERYBODY. YOU'RE FAMOUS! 976 00:41:44,708 --> 00:41:46,708 OKAY, MAYBE THEY WERE LAUGHING 977 00:41:46,708 --> 00:41:47,708 ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. 978 00:41:47,708 --> 00:41:50,125 [SIGHS DARKLY] I'M A JOKE. 979 00:41:50,125 --> 00:41:52,500 HEY! STAY FOCUSED. 980 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:54,291 TODAY IS ALL ABOUT MIKEY. 981 00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:55,667 -WHAT'S ALL ABOUT ME? -GAH! 982 00:41:55,667 --> 00:41:57,500 WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? 983 00:41:57,500 --> 00:42:00,834 WELL, MY MOM SAYS FROM HEAVEN, BUT MY BIOLOGY TEACHER SAYS-- 984 00:42:00,834 --> 00:42:01,959 FORGET IT! 985 00:42:01,959 --> 00:42:03,417 I DON'T CARE. 986 00:42:03,417 --> 00:42:06,250 JACK, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE MAD AT ME. 987 00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:09,000 YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME, ARE YOU? 988 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,333 M-MAD? 989 00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:11,417 [SNAPS]: MAD? 990 00:42:11,417 --> 00:42:12,667 HEY, JACK. 991 00:42:12,667 --> 00:42:14,834 EASY. 992 00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:19,792 OH, WHAT? WHY WOULD I BE MAD? 993 00:42:19,792 --> 00:42:22,041 WE'RE GOOD FRIENDS, RIGHT? 994 00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:25,333 I SURE AM GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT, 995 00:42:25,333 --> 00:42:27,500 BECAUSE I HAD SO MUCH FUN HERE YESTERDAY, 996 00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:29,583 I DECIDED TO COME BACK TODAY. 997 00:42:29,583 --> 00:42:32,000 IN FACT, I THINK I'M GONNA TRANSFER HERE. 998 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,959 I WANNA SEE YOU WIN "STUDENT OF THE YEAR." 999 00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:37,875 GREAT NEWS. GREAT NEWS! 1000 00:42:37,875 --> 00:42:40,708 I KNEW YOU'D BE EXCITED. 1001 00:42:40,708 --> 00:42:41,875 OH, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 1002 00:42:41,875 --> 00:42:42,917 JENNIFER INVITED ME 1003 00:42:42,917 --> 00:42:44,875 TO TAG ALONG TO HER CLASSES TODAY. 1004 00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:46,708 ISN'T SHE NICE? 1005 00:42:46,708 --> 00:42:48,250 OH-- [GASPS] 1006 00:42:48,250 --> 00:42:49,208 UH-- 1007 00:42:49,208 --> 00:42:50,583 -HI! -OH, UH, OKAY-- 1008 00:42:50,583 --> 00:42:52,500 GREAT-- GREAT TALKING TO YOU, MIKEY. 1009 00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:54,625 YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY! 1010 00:42:54,625 --> 00:42:56,875 I ALWAYS DO! 1011 00:43:01,542 --> 00:43:03,000 WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE TO HIM? 1012 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,083 ARE YOU HAVING SOME SORT OF BREAKDOWN RIGHT NOW? 1013 00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:06,583 CHECK IT OUT. 1014 00:43:06,583 --> 00:43:07,917 YOU STOLE HIS WALLET? 1015 00:43:07,917 --> 00:43:09,291 I'M GONNA GIVE IT BACK! 1016 00:43:09,291 --> 00:43:10,583 AFTER I FIND OUT WHERE HE LIVES. 1017 00:43:10,583 --> 00:43:13,792 OH, PERFECT, WELL, THAT MAKES IT ALL BETTER THEN. 1018 00:43:13,792 --> 00:43:15,291 IF WE'RE GOING TO SEND HIM BACK TO WHERE HE CAME FROM, 1019 00:43:15,291 --> 00:43:16,542 WE HAVE TO FIND OUT WHERE THAT IS. 1020 00:43:16,542 --> 00:43:19,458 MIKEY, MIKEY, MIKEY... 1021 00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:21,083 THESE ALL SAY MIKEY! 1022 00:43:22,417 --> 00:43:24,125 JACKPOT. HA! 1023 00:43:24,125 --> 00:43:25,583 OH, WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, MIKEY. 1024 00:43:25,583 --> 00:43:27,542 YOU ARE GOING DOWNTOWN! 1025 00:43:27,542 --> 00:43:29,625 ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT'S UPTOWN. 1026 00:43:29,625 --> 00:43:31,708 AND TO THE WEST. 1027 00:43:31,708 --> 00:43:34,166 OH! OH, YEAH, NO, HE'S GOING DOWNTOWN. 1028 00:43:34,166 --> 00:43:37,708 EVEN THOUGH THAT'S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF THIS ADDRESS. 1029 00:43:39,125 --> 00:43:40,917 ALRIGHT, WELL, THIS IS IT. 1030 00:43:40,917 --> 00:43:43,166 THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT. 1031 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:48,417 THIS GUY IS TOO GOOD. 1032 00:43:48,417 --> 00:43:50,500 HE'S BEEN MESSING WITH US THE WHOLE TIME. 1033 00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:51,625 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1034 00:43:51,625 --> 00:43:53,208 I USED TO TELL MY PARENTS 1035 00:43:53,208 --> 00:43:54,792 I WOULD TAKE MIKEY HERE AS A REWARD 1036 00:43:54,792 --> 00:43:56,458 WHEN HE DID WELL ON TESTS. 1037 00:43:56,458 --> 00:43:57,667 COME ON. 1038 00:43:57,667 --> 00:44:00,750 [LAUGHTER, CHATTER, GAMES PINGING] 1039 00:44:02,125 --> 00:44:04,458 OKAY, OKAY, SO NOW WE JUST HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE 1040 00:44:04,458 --> 00:44:06,542 WHO KNOWS WHO MIKEY IS. 1041 00:44:09,792 --> 00:44:11,667 AND HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT? 1042 00:44:11,667 --> 00:44:12,959 I DON'T KNOW. 1043 00:44:12,959 --> 00:44:16,333 OH, JACK. WHAT'S UP? 1044 00:44:16,333 --> 00:44:18,708 OH, HEY! GUY. 1045 00:44:20,917 --> 00:44:21,959 DO YOU KNOW THAT KID? 1046 00:44:21,959 --> 00:44:23,208 NO. 1047 00:44:25,291 --> 00:44:27,166 HEY, EXCUSE ME? 1048 00:44:27,166 --> 00:44:28,333 UH, HI! 1049 00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:29,667 SO, UH... 1050 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,000 HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? 1051 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,500 HOW DO I KNOW WHO YOU ARE? DUDE, YOU'RE HILARIOUS. 1052 00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:34,667 WHERE'S MIKEY? 1053 00:44:34,667 --> 00:44:36,166 AW, YOU KNOW MIKEY? 1054 00:44:36,166 --> 00:44:37,834 'COURSE I KNOW MIKEY. YOU GUYS ARE BOTH HILARIOUS. 1055 00:44:37,834 --> 00:44:39,500 YOU AND MIKEY ARE HERE ALL THE TIME. 1056 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:42,000 DUDE, ARE YOU SURE MIKEY ISN'T REAL? 1057 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,500 RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT EVEN SURE I'M REAL. 1058 00:44:44,500 --> 00:44:45,834 UH, OKAY, SO, UM, 1059 00:44:45,834 --> 00:44:48,667 YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE MIKEY IS NOW, DO YOU? 1060 00:44:48,667 --> 00:44:51,959 OR WHERE HE LIVES? OR WHO HIS PARENTS ARE? 1061 00:44:51,959 --> 00:44:54,000 OR WHAT SCHOOL HE GOES TO? OR WHERE HE HANGS OUT? 1062 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,250 SMOOTH... NOT STALKERY AT ALL. 1063 00:44:56,250 --> 00:44:57,959 I KNOW WHERE HE HANGS. HE HANGS HERE. 1064 00:44:57,959 --> 00:44:59,333 WITH YOU. 1065 00:45:00,333 --> 00:45:02,208 THAT WAS WEIRD 1066 00:45:02,208 --> 00:45:03,667 AND UNINFORMATIVE. 1067 00:45:03,667 --> 00:45:06,125 WE GOT A PLAN "B"? 1068 00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:08,708 [♪♪♪] 1069 00:45:08,708 --> 00:45:11,000 THE HIPPO. 1070 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,000 WHAT ABOUT IT? 1071 00:45:15,041 --> 00:45:16,667 MIKEY HAD HIM ON HIS BACKPACK. 1072 00:45:16,667 --> 00:45:18,041 MAYBE THE HIPPO KNOWS SOMETHING. 1073 00:45:18,041 --> 00:45:20,375 AW, YEAH. I MEAN, WHY NOT? 1074 00:45:20,375 --> 00:45:21,500 WOULDN'T BE THE STRANGEST THING 1075 00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:22,500 THAT'S HAPPENED IN THE PAST TWO DAYS. 1076 00:45:22,500 --> 00:45:25,083 MM-MM. HEY! HEY, HIPPO! 1077 00:45:25,083 --> 00:45:27,708 [♪♪♪] 1078 00:45:27,708 --> 00:45:29,333 HE'S RUNNING. WE GOT A RUNNER! WE GOT A RUNNER! 1079 00:45:29,333 --> 00:45:33,375 [♪♪♪] 1080 00:45:38,375 --> 00:45:39,625 LOOK AT HIM. 1081 00:45:39,625 --> 00:45:41,542 HE'S LIKE A FURRY, PURPLE NINJA IN THAT THING! 1082 00:45:41,542 --> 00:45:43,875 LET'S GO! OH... 1083 00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:45,917 -HE'S GETTING AWAY! -I SEE THAT. 1084 00:45:45,917 --> 00:45:48,500 [GRUNTING] 1085 00:45:51,792 --> 00:45:52,917 THIS IS THE WORST! 1086 00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:55,750 NOPE! NO. THIS IS. UGH... 1087 00:46:04,917 --> 00:46:06,583 -WAIT A SECOND. -YEAH? 1088 00:46:06,583 --> 00:46:08,542 WHY ARE WE CHASING THE HIPPO AGAIN? 1089 00:46:08,542 --> 00:46:09,625 BECAUSE HE RAN! 1090 00:46:09,625 --> 00:46:11,041 MAYBE HE RAN BECAUSE WE'RE CHASING HIM. 1091 00:46:11,041 --> 00:46:14,041 DON'T START THINKING ON ME NOW, MAN. LET'S GO! 1092 00:46:14,041 --> 00:46:15,125 -ALRIGHT. OKAY. -YOU GOOD? 1093 00:46:15,125 --> 00:46:16,291 YEAH. I'M OKAY. 1094 00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:27,208 HEY! 1095 00:46:27,208 --> 00:46:29,542 THIS IS THE BUMPER CARS, NOT A TRACK MEET. 1096 00:46:29,542 --> 00:46:32,375 WANNA CROSS THE FLOOR? YOU GOTTA BUMP. 1097 00:46:33,542 --> 00:46:36,834 [♪♪♪] 1098 00:46:39,083 --> 00:46:40,667 -GO GET 'IM. -I'M TRYING! 1099 00:46:44,166 --> 00:46:45,792 DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1100 00:46:45,792 --> 00:46:47,667 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 1101 00:46:47,667 --> 00:46:50,458 OH, OKAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1102 00:46:50,458 --> 00:46:51,458 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 1103 00:46:51,458 --> 00:46:52,625 MINE WAS AN ACCIDENT. 1104 00:46:52,625 --> 00:46:53,625 SO WAS MINE. 1105 00:46:53,625 --> 00:46:54,708 -SERIOUSLY? -SERIOUSLY! 1106 00:46:57,625 --> 00:46:59,625 HE'S GETTING AWAY. AGAIN! 1107 00:46:59,625 --> 00:47:01,917 -WHY IS HE ALWAYS RUNNING? -I DON'T KNOW. 1108 00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:07,875 [♪♪♪] 1109 00:47:09,667 --> 00:47:12,959 SHORTCUT. POOL TIME. 1110 00:47:21,834 --> 00:47:23,458 OOF. 1111 00:47:23,458 --> 00:47:25,000 -THAT WAS-- -AWESOME. 1112 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,792 -YES! -AHH! 1113 00:47:36,667 --> 00:47:38,625 NICE! 1114 00:47:39,792 --> 00:47:42,834 WELL, WELL, WELL! 1115 00:47:42,834 --> 00:47:44,417 WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? 1116 00:47:44,417 --> 00:47:45,583 SERIOUSLY? 1117 00:47:45,583 --> 00:47:47,959 DOES THIS TOWN HAVE ANOTHER SECURITY GUARD? 1118 00:47:47,959 --> 00:47:49,500 SINCE WHEN DID YOU START WORKING AT FUNLAND? 1119 00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:51,708 SINCE I GOT FIRED FROM MY LAST JOB. 1120 00:47:51,708 --> 00:47:54,959 SOME SUDSY CLOWN THREW MY KEYS INTO A BUSH. 1121 00:47:54,959 --> 00:47:56,625 WHY WOULD-- WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? 1122 00:47:56,625 --> 00:47:58,083 I DON'T KNOW. 1123 00:47:58,083 --> 00:47:59,333 MAN. 1124 00:47:59,333 --> 00:48:01,083 BUT, PLEASE, WE HAVE TO TALK TO THAT-- 1125 00:48:02,291 --> 00:48:04,375 ...HIPPO. 1126 00:48:04,375 --> 00:48:06,959 HIPPO? OKAY. 1127 00:48:06,959 --> 00:48:09,542 YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, FELLAS. 1128 00:48:09,542 --> 00:48:11,750 PLEASE, THE HIPPO IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING! 1129 00:48:17,708 --> 00:48:20,375 OH, YOU'RE HOME LATE. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 1130 00:48:20,375 --> 00:48:22,667 YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT IF I TOLD YOU. 1131 00:48:22,667 --> 00:48:23,708 HEY, BUDDY! 1132 00:48:23,708 --> 00:48:25,083 WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? 1133 00:48:25,083 --> 00:48:26,542 WE'RE JUST PUZZLING. 1134 00:48:26,542 --> 00:48:27,917 [GASPS] FINISHED! 1135 00:48:27,917 --> 00:48:29,208 [TRIO GASPING] 1136 00:48:29,208 --> 00:48:30,333 LOVELY! LOOK, JACK. 1137 00:48:30,333 --> 00:48:32,917 MIKEY FINALLY FINISHED OUR PUZZLE. 1138 00:48:35,333 --> 00:48:37,041 WHY HAVEN'T YOU BROUGHT MIKEY AROUND HERE BEFORE? 1139 00:48:37,041 --> 00:48:38,875 HE IS A DOLL! 1140 00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:40,250 NO. 1141 00:48:40,250 --> 00:48:41,708 YOU ARE. 1142 00:48:41,708 --> 00:48:43,750 OH, HO, HO, HO! 1143 00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:45,166 [MIRTHFUL CHUCKLING] 1144 00:48:45,166 --> 00:48:47,667 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR GAME IS-- 1145 00:48:47,667 --> 00:48:49,583 THIS ISN'T A GAME. IT'S A PUZZLE. 1146 00:48:49,583 --> 00:48:51,917 [HUFFS] YEAH, I KNOW IT IS. 1147 00:48:51,917 --> 00:48:53,708 AND I'M GONNA FIGURE IT OUT. 1148 00:48:53,708 --> 00:48:55,583 I'M GONNA FIGURE IT ALL OUT. 1149 00:48:55,583 --> 00:48:57,375 HEY, SPORT, ARE YOU FEELING OKAY? 1150 00:48:57,375 --> 00:48:58,625 PULL UP A CHAIR, AMIGO. 1151 00:48:58,625 --> 00:49:00,291 WE SURE COULD USE YOUR HELP... 1152 00:49:00,291 --> 00:49:03,542 FOR THE NEXT ONE! 1153 00:49:03,542 --> 00:49:07,458 HOW DOES 5,000 PIECES OF SAND AND SKY SOUND? 1154 00:49:07,458 --> 00:49:10,041 SOUNDS LIKE I'M SLEEPIN' OVER. 1155 00:49:10,041 --> 00:49:12,792 [BOISTEROUS CHUCKLING] 1156 00:49:15,917 --> 00:49:18,041 [CASUAL CHATTER] 1157 00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:23,125 UH, JACK? 1158 00:49:23,125 --> 00:49:25,208 CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU? 1159 00:49:26,625 --> 00:49:28,708 SURE. WHY NOT? 1160 00:49:29,834 --> 00:49:32,458 LOOK, JACK, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SAY THIS, 1161 00:49:32,458 --> 00:49:34,208 BUT I'M REALLY ROOTING FOR YOU 1162 00:49:34,208 --> 00:49:36,458 TO WIN "STUDENT OF THE YEAR." 1163 00:49:36,458 --> 00:49:38,333 THANKS, PRINCIPAL KAR. 1164 00:49:38,333 --> 00:49:41,834 I MEAN, YOU WERE NEVER THAT IMPRESSIVE ON PAPER. 1165 00:49:41,834 --> 00:49:43,291 OR IN PERSON. 1166 00:49:43,291 --> 00:49:45,959 BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE, 1167 00:49:45,959 --> 00:49:47,625 THE VALUES THAT I'VE TRIED TO INSTILL 1168 00:49:47,625 --> 00:49:49,000 AS THIS SCHOOL'S ADMINISTRATOR, 1169 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,250 THEY GOT THROUGH TO YOU. 1170 00:49:50,250 --> 00:49:53,291 AND IF YOU WERE TO WIN THE AWARD, WELL... 1171 00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:56,125 IT WOULD BE SUCH AN INSPIRATION 1172 00:49:56,125 --> 00:49:59,458 TO ALL THE OTHER BELOW-AVERAGE JOES OUT THERE. 1173 00:49:59,458 --> 00:50:01,625 THANKS, PRINCIPAL KAR. 1174 00:50:01,625 --> 00:50:02,792 THAT SAID, 1175 00:50:02,792 --> 00:50:05,834 I'VE RECENTLY HEARD SOME DISTURBING RUMORS 1176 00:50:05,834 --> 00:50:07,291 ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIOR OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL. 1177 00:50:07,291 --> 00:50:10,500 IF THERE TURNS OUT TO BE ANY TRUTH TO THESE "RUMORS," 1178 00:50:10,500 --> 00:50:14,291 I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DISQUALIFY YOU. 1179 00:50:14,291 --> 00:50:15,542 YEAH, YEAH. NO, NO PROBLEM. 1180 00:50:15,542 --> 00:50:17,000 I MEAN, I'M SURE THEY'RE JUST A-- 1181 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,708 JUST A HARMLESS MISUNDERSTANDING. 1182 00:50:18,708 --> 00:50:20,333 I CERTAINLY HOPE SO. 1183 00:50:24,667 --> 00:50:27,458 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 1184 00:50:28,792 --> 00:50:31,667 THE HIPPO IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING. 1185 00:50:31,667 --> 00:50:32,750 IF ONLY WE COULD JUST FIND HIM, 1186 00:50:32,750 --> 00:50:34,000 WE'D FINALLY HAVE SOME ANSWERS. 1187 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,625 WE SHOULD GO TO THE ZOO. 1188 00:50:35,625 --> 00:50:37,542 THAT'S WHERE THE HIPPOS LIVE. 1189 00:50:37,542 --> 00:50:38,667 [BOFF] 1190 00:50:38,667 --> 00:50:40,333 BAD NEWS, BUDDY. YOU'RE OUT. 1191 00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:42,583 HEY, IF ANYBODY HAD TO GET ME OUT, 1192 00:50:42,583 --> 00:50:43,875 I'M GLAD IT WAS YOU. 1193 00:50:43,875 --> 00:50:46,542 MIKEY'S THE BEST. 1194 00:50:46,542 --> 00:50:48,041 NO. MIKEY IS THE WORST. 1195 00:50:48,041 --> 00:50:51,041 RIGHT! BUT HE'S ALSO PRETTY GREAT. 1196 00:50:51,041 --> 00:50:52,208 LATER, MIKEY. 1197 00:50:52,208 --> 00:50:54,500 RED'S YOUR COLOR, BUDDY! 1198 00:50:54,500 --> 00:50:55,708 [BOFF] 1199 00:50:55,708 --> 00:50:58,417 -[MIKEY]: SORRY, YOU'RE OUT. -GOOD SHOT, MIKEY! 1200 00:51:02,834 --> 00:51:04,542 I HEARD PRINCIPAL KAR TALKED TO YOU TODAY. 1201 00:51:04,542 --> 00:51:05,917 IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 1202 00:51:07,041 --> 00:51:08,792 I AM GOING TO WIN STUDENT OF THE YEAR, 1203 00:51:08,792 --> 00:51:10,667 AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME. 1204 00:51:10,667 --> 00:51:13,417 WHY WOULD I WANT TO STOP YOU, FRIEND? 1205 00:51:16,542 --> 00:51:19,083 [♪♪♪] 1206 00:51:43,959 --> 00:51:45,708 NO! 1207 00:51:45,708 --> 00:51:48,000 NO, NO, NO. 1208 00:51:50,083 --> 00:51:51,667 HE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO THIS SCHOOL! 1209 00:51:54,041 --> 00:51:56,083 [♪♪♪] 1210 00:52:15,959 --> 00:52:16,959 PSST, JENNIFER-- 1211 00:52:16,959 --> 00:52:17,959 -[GASPING] -OH! SORRY. 1212 00:52:17,959 --> 00:52:19,208 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1213 00:52:19,208 --> 00:52:21,834 I JUST WANTED TO SAY SORRY... 1214 00:52:21,834 --> 00:52:23,917 YOU KNOW, GYM CLASS... 1215 00:52:23,917 --> 00:52:25,458 WHEN I HIT YOU IN THE GUTS 1216 00:52:25,458 --> 00:52:26,834 WITH THAT BALL-- 1217 00:52:26,834 --> 00:52:28,291 THAT WASN'T COOL. 1218 00:52:28,291 --> 00:52:29,333 OH... 1219 00:52:29,333 --> 00:52:30,792 SEE, I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE APOLOGIZING 1220 00:52:30,792 --> 00:52:34,792 FOR SNEAKING INTO MY HOUSE AND TRASHING OUR BATHROOM. 1221 00:52:34,792 --> 00:52:36,583 YEAH... RIGHT. 1222 00:52:36,583 --> 00:52:38,333 THAT. 1223 00:52:38,333 --> 00:52:42,291 UH, I'M ALSO VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT. 1224 00:52:42,291 --> 00:52:45,125 ALTHOUGH, YOUR SISTER GIVES ONE HECK OF A MAKEOVER. 1225 00:52:45,125 --> 00:52:47,083 JACK, WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU? 1226 00:52:47,083 --> 00:52:48,500 YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST STARTING 1227 00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:51,041 TO KIND OF MAYBE THINK YOU WERE CUTE, 1228 00:52:51,041 --> 00:52:52,458 AND THEN YOU WENT CRAZY. 1229 00:52:52,458 --> 00:52:53,750 YOU THOUGHT I WAS CUTE? 1230 00:52:53,750 --> 00:52:55,166 AND THEN YOU WENT 1231 00:52:55,166 --> 00:52:57,458 CRAZY. 1232 00:52:57,458 --> 00:52:59,166 [JACK SIGHS] 1233 00:52:59,166 --> 00:53:00,500 IT'S JUST-- IT'S MIKEY. 1234 00:53:00,500 --> 00:53:01,959 HE'S GOT ME ALL MESSED UP. 1235 00:53:01,959 --> 00:53:03,834 WELL, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE FRIENDS. 1236 00:53:03,834 --> 00:53:06,166 YOU'VE BEEN TUTORING HIM AND HANGING OUT WITH HIM, 1237 00:53:06,166 --> 00:53:08,834 AND YOU SAVED HIS DOG BY BUYING HIM A ROBOT TAIL! 1238 00:53:08,834 --> 00:53:09,834 RIGHT? 1239 00:53:09,834 --> 00:53:12,625 YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S ALL TRUE. 1240 00:53:12,625 --> 00:53:14,667 WELL, THEN WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO WEIRD? 1241 00:53:14,667 --> 00:53:17,291 CAN WE CHALK IT UP TO HORMONES? 1242 00:53:17,291 --> 00:53:18,834 [LAUGHS] 1243 00:53:18,834 --> 00:53:20,000 HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU. 1244 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,125 YOU JUST REALIZED THAT? 1245 00:53:21,125 --> 00:53:23,166 NO, NO, I'M ACTUALLY TALKING TO YOU. 1246 00:53:23,166 --> 00:53:24,500 SEE, LIKE, USUALLY, ALL I CAN DO 1247 00:53:24,500 --> 00:53:27,291 IS, LIKE, BABBLE AND MAKE WEIRD NOISES. 1248 00:53:27,291 --> 00:53:28,875 HUH. 1249 00:53:28,875 --> 00:53:32,000 YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S KINDA NICE. 1250 00:53:34,041 --> 00:53:36,583 SEEMS LIKE WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT... 1251 00:53:36,583 --> 00:53:38,625 AND I DON'T WANT TO RUIN IT, 1252 00:53:38,625 --> 00:53:39,917 SO I'M GONNA LEAVE. 1253 00:53:40,917 --> 00:53:42,208 GUESS I'LL SEE YOU 1254 00:53:42,208 --> 00:53:43,834 AT CAITLIN'S POOL PARTY THIS WEEKEND? 1255 00:53:43,834 --> 00:53:45,250 ACTUALLY, I WON'T BE THERE. 1256 00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:47,333 I'M VOLUNTEERING AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER ALL DAY WITH MIKEY. 1257 00:53:48,708 --> 00:53:50,417 MIKEY! 1258 00:53:53,041 --> 00:53:55,542 AND WE'RE BACK TO WEIRD. 1259 00:53:58,208 --> 00:54:00,166 HANNAH! DRIVE US TO FUNLAND. 1260 00:54:00,166 --> 00:54:02,708 "PLEASE?" 1261 00:54:02,708 --> 00:54:06,708 HANNAH, DRIVE US TO FUNLAND, PLEASE. 1262 00:54:06,708 --> 00:54:07,750 NO. 1263 00:54:07,750 --> 00:54:08,917 -COME ON! -WE CAN'T GO BACK THERE. 1264 00:54:08,917 --> 00:54:10,708 OTIS BANNED US FOR LIFE. 1265 00:54:10,708 --> 00:54:11,959 WE HAVE NO CHOICE. 1266 00:54:11,959 --> 00:54:13,750 IF WE WANT TO GET RID OF MIKEY ONCE AND FOR ALL, 1267 00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:14,959 WE HAVE TO FIND THAT PURPLE HIPPO. 1268 00:54:14,959 --> 00:54:16,417 ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT HURLEY? 1269 00:54:16,417 --> 00:54:18,583 WHAT? NO. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A GIANT PURPLE HIPPO 1270 00:54:18,583 --> 00:54:20,417 WHO HANDS OUT BALLOONS AT FUNLAND. 1271 00:54:20,417 --> 00:54:21,583 YEAH. HIS NAME'S HURLEY. 1272 00:54:21,583 --> 00:54:23,083 AND HE DOESN'T HAND OUT BALLOONS. 1273 00:54:23,083 --> 00:54:25,208 UNLESS "BART THE BALLOON BABOON" 1274 00:54:25,208 --> 00:54:26,250 WAS SICK THAT DAY. 1275 00:54:26,250 --> 00:54:28,500 HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS? 1276 00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:30,458 JACK, I WORKED THERE FOR TWO YEARS. 1277 00:54:30,458 --> 00:54:31,708 SERIOUSLY? 1278 00:54:31,708 --> 00:54:33,041 WHERE DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING FOR FOUR HOURS 1279 00:54:33,041 --> 00:54:34,375 EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL? 1280 00:54:34,375 --> 00:54:35,417 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, 1281 00:54:35,417 --> 00:54:36,750 I WAS JUST HAPPY YOU WERE OUT OF THE HOUSE. 1282 00:54:36,750 --> 00:54:38,625 [SHE SIGHS] 1283 00:54:38,625 --> 00:54:41,458 HANNAH! HANNAH, PLEASE! 1284 00:54:42,750 --> 00:54:44,375 [SIGHING] 1285 00:54:44,375 --> 00:54:47,583 ALL I KNOW IS HURLEY'S MAIN HABITAT 1286 00:54:47,583 --> 00:54:49,375 IS THE JUNGLE MINI-GOLF COURSE. 1287 00:54:49,375 --> 00:54:51,417 THANK YOU. YOU ARE AMAZING. 1288 00:54:51,417 --> 00:54:52,500 I KNOW. 1289 00:54:53,542 --> 00:54:54,792 TO FUNLAND! 1290 00:54:54,792 --> 00:54:56,917 I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT TAKING YOU THERE. 1291 00:54:58,959 --> 00:55:00,792 TO THE BUS STOP! 1292 00:55:02,458 --> 00:55:05,750 [♪♪♪] 1293 00:55:08,458 --> 00:55:09,959 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, JACK. 1294 00:55:09,959 --> 00:55:11,750 OTIS SAID NEVER TO COME BACK. 1295 00:55:13,125 --> 00:55:15,792 REALLY? YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO THAT GUY? 1296 00:55:18,792 --> 00:55:20,291 [GAGS] 1297 00:55:20,291 --> 00:55:22,333 SWALLOW IT! SWALLOW IT. 1298 00:55:24,083 --> 00:55:25,500 GOOD BOY. 1299 00:55:26,917 --> 00:55:28,291 OKAY, LET'S GO. 1300 00:55:33,250 --> 00:55:36,291 [♪♪♪] 1301 00:55:47,125 --> 00:55:49,208 [ELEPHANT TRUMPETS, RYAN SHRIEKS] 1302 00:55:50,166 --> 00:55:52,291 REALLY? REALLY? OKAY. 1303 00:55:52,291 --> 00:55:55,917 -OKAY. YEAH. -OKAY. PLEASE KEEP IT TOGETHER. 1304 00:56:03,917 --> 00:56:06,458 IT'S, UH, HEH, SO TRANQUIL DOWN HERE. 1305 00:56:06,458 --> 00:56:09,667 TOTALLY NOT-- NOT CREEPY, AT ALL. 1306 00:56:09,667 --> 00:56:11,041 [RYAN SHRIEKING] 1307 00:56:11,041 --> 00:56:12,834 OKAY, OKAY, WOULD YOU RELAX? 1308 00:56:12,834 --> 00:56:15,834 THIS ISN'T GONNA TAKE LONG, OKAY? 1309 00:56:15,834 --> 00:56:19,542 IT'S NOT LIKE THAT HIPPO HAS MUCH ROOM TO... 1310 00:56:20,542 --> 00:56:21,583 ...HIDE. 1311 00:56:23,875 --> 00:56:24,875 [RYAN SHRIEKS] 1312 00:56:24,875 --> 00:56:27,125 QUIET! HE'LL HEAR US. 1313 00:56:27,125 --> 00:56:28,834 I WOULD JUST LIKE TO POINT OUT 1314 00:56:28,834 --> 00:56:30,375 THERE'S A NORTH AMERICAN GRIZZLY 1315 00:56:30,375 --> 00:56:32,875 HANGING OUT WITH A ZEBRA IN A SUBTERRANEAN JUNGLE. 1316 00:56:32,875 --> 00:56:35,208 WHAT KIND OF MADMAN DESIGNED THIS PLACE? 1317 00:56:35,208 --> 00:56:37,375 LET'S GO. 1318 00:56:37,375 --> 00:56:39,083 WALKING, WALKING... 1319 00:56:43,041 --> 00:56:44,750 [DEEP BOOMING VOICE]: HELLO, JACK. 1320 00:56:44,750 --> 00:56:46,500 [BOTH GASPING] 1321 00:56:46,500 --> 00:56:48,000 YOU! 1322 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,417 WHY HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING FOR ME? 1323 00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:53,375 SHOW US YOUR FACE. 1324 00:56:53,375 --> 00:56:55,959 SILENCE! 1325 00:56:55,959 --> 00:56:58,875 I HAVE MANY FACES... AND MANY NAMES. 1326 00:56:58,875 --> 00:57:00,083 I DON'T LIKE THIS, JACK! 1327 00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:01,583 I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL. 1328 00:57:01,583 --> 00:57:03,250 DID YOU MAKE ALL OF MY LIES COME TRUE? 1329 00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:05,208 YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE! 1330 00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:08,583 YOUR LIES ARE COMING TRUE BECAUSE YOU TOLD THEM SO OFTEN, 1331 00:57:08,583 --> 00:57:11,041 THEY STOPPED BEING LIES. 1332 00:57:11,041 --> 00:57:12,458 HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP? 1333 00:57:12,458 --> 00:57:14,583 GOOD QUESTION. THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 1334 00:57:14,583 --> 00:57:16,750 WHY, THAT'S THE EASIEST PART OF ALL, JACK. 1335 00:57:16,750 --> 00:57:19,417 YOU MUST SIMPLY CONFESS. 1336 00:57:19,417 --> 00:57:21,625 CONFESS? CONFESS WHAT? 1337 00:57:21,625 --> 00:57:23,959 EVERYTHING! 1338 00:57:23,959 --> 00:57:27,083 THE ONLY WAY TO FIGHT LIES IS WITH THE TRUTH. 1339 00:57:27,083 --> 00:57:29,750 YOU MUST CONFESS TO EVERYONE THAT YOU'VE HURT. 1340 00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:31,542 EVERYONE YOU'VE MISLED. 1341 00:57:31,542 --> 00:57:35,583 EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER DECEIVED WITH YOUR LIES. 1342 00:57:35,583 --> 00:57:37,083 YEAH, I CAN'T DO THAT. 1343 00:57:37,083 --> 00:57:38,291 JACK! 1344 00:57:38,291 --> 00:57:39,583 WHAT? WHAT, RYAN? 1345 00:57:39,583 --> 00:57:42,125 OKAY, YOU WANT ME TO THROW EVERYTHING AWAY? 1346 00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:44,458 STUDENT OF THE YEAR? THE RED SOX? 1347 00:57:44,458 --> 00:57:47,125 BECAUSE SOME PURPLE HIPPO TOLD ME TO? 1348 00:57:47,125 --> 00:57:49,000 YES! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. 1349 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,208 BE WARNED-- 1350 00:57:50,208 --> 00:57:52,417 THE LONGER YOU REFUSE TO CONFESS, 1351 00:57:52,417 --> 00:57:54,792 THE WORSE THINGS WILL GET. 1352 00:57:54,792 --> 00:57:56,917 HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY GET WORSE? 1353 00:57:56,917 --> 00:58:00,625 [DARKLY]: YOU'LL SEE. 1354 00:58:00,625 --> 00:58:03,333 "CONFESS"? REALLY? 1355 00:58:03,333 --> 00:58:05,792 THAT'S THE BIG SOLUTION? 1356 00:58:05,792 --> 00:58:08,875 HOW GULLIBLE DOES THIS HIPPO THINK I... AM? 1357 00:58:10,959 --> 00:58:13,291 -HEY, RYAN? -YEAH? 1358 00:58:13,291 --> 00:58:14,417 YOU REMEMBER ON MY LIST? 1359 00:58:14,417 --> 00:58:16,291 THERE WAS THAT TIME I WAS LATE MEETING ERIC, 1360 00:58:16,291 --> 00:58:18,208 AND I BLAMED IT ON ALIENS? 1361 00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:24,208 NO. HEH. NOPE! I-I DON'T REMEMBER. 1362 00:58:24,208 --> 00:58:26,166 I-I REFUSE TO REMEMBER. 1363 00:58:26,166 --> 00:58:27,959 WELL, TOO LATE. 1364 00:58:27,959 --> 00:58:29,458 I THINK WE'RE ABOUT TO BE ABDUCTED. 1365 00:58:29,458 --> 00:58:31,667 NO! SEE, THERE'S-- THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ALIENS, 1366 00:58:31,667 --> 00:58:34,375 THOSE ARE JUST TWO GUYS, YOU KNOW, WEARING WEIRD SUITS, 1367 00:58:34,375 --> 00:58:36,834 STANDING ON TOP OF A ROOF. 1368 00:58:36,834 --> 00:58:38,583 AND RUNNING DOWN IT! 1369 00:58:46,458 --> 00:58:47,834 [ALIENS SHRIEKING] 1370 00:58:47,834 --> 00:58:49,834 RUN! 1371 00:58:56,542 --> 00:58:58,500 OH! IN HERE! 1372 00:59:14,375 --> 00:59:17,542 [♪♪♪] 1373 00:59:28,208 --> 00:59:30,208 OKAY. THEY'RE GONE. 1374 00:59:30,208 --> 00:59:32,708 YEAH. UGH... 1375 00:59:33,917 --> 00:59:35,375 [GROANS WEARILY] OHH... OKAY. 1376 00:59:35,375 --> 00:59:37,333 I JUST NEED, LIKE, TWO MINUTES 1377 00:59:37,333 --> 00:59:40,000 WITHOUT COMING FACE-TO-FACE WITH ONE OF MY LIES. 1378 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,208 [BOTH GASPING] 1379 00:59:42,208 --> 00:59:43,667 DID YOU THINK YOU COULD GET AWAY FROM US THAT EASY? 1380 00:59:43,667 --> 00:59:45,583 WHAT PART OF THIS SEEMS EASY? 1381 00:59:45,583 --> 00:59:48,083 TIME TO FINISH THIS. 1382 00:59:48,083 --> 00:59:50,250 SHOULDN'T YOU GUYS BE OUT RIDING MOOSE OR SOMETHING? 1383 00:59:50,250 --> 00:59:52,333 MOOSE-RIDING SEASON ISN'T TILL OCTOBER. 1384 00:59:52,333 --> 00:59:53,917 THIS IS OAK SEASON... 1385 00:59:53,917 --> 00:59:55,417 POPLAR SEASON, 1386 00:59:55,417 --> 00:59:57,166 AND BUTT-KICKIN' SEASON. 1387 00:59:57,166 --> 00:59:59,291 OH, AND ALSO NORWAY SPRUCE. 1388 00:59:59,291 --> 01:00:00,583 AND ALSO NORWAY SPRUCE. 1389 01:00:00,583 --> 01:00:01,583 [GROWLING] 1390 01:00:01,583 --> 01:00:03,583 HOW ABOUT, THIS TIME, YOU DISTRACT THEM 1391 01:00:03,583 --> 01:00:04,750 AND I RUN? 1392 01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,083 HOW ABOUT WE BOTH RUN? 1393 01:00:06,083 --> 01:00:07,542 -DEAL! -OKAY! 1394 01:00:10,959 --> 01:00:14,083 HEY! THIS PARKING STRUCTURE IS FOR PAYING CUSTOMERS ONLY! 1395 01:00:14,083 --> 01:00:16,083 YOU TWO ARE TRESPASSING. 1396 01:00:16,083 --> 01:00:17,750 YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. ELEVATOR! GO! 1397 01:00:17,750 --> 01:00:20,792 I HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO CALL THE AUTHORITIES! 1398 01:00:22,708 --> 01:00:24,333 COME ON. COME ON. 1399 01:00:26,041 --> 01:00:27,583 OW! GEEZ. 1400 01:00:27,583 --> 01:00:28,750 NOT AGAIN. 1401 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:29,834 COME ON! 1402 01:00:31,333 --> 01:00:33,792 [LUMBERJACKS GROWLING] 1403 01:00:33,792 --> 01:00:35,417 [RELIEVED SIGHS] 1404 01:00:37,333 --> 01:00:39,458 WE'RE GOING UP. WHY ARE WE GOING UP? 1405 01:00:39,458 --> 01:00:40,542 I DON'T KNOW. 1406 01:00:40,542 --> 01:00:41,500 I JUST PUSHED THE FIRST BUTTON I SAW! 1407 01:00:41,500 --> 01:00:43,625 WE'LL BE TRAPPED ON THE ROOF. 1408 01:00:43,625 --> 01:00:46,417 WHO BUILDS PARKING GARAGES 1409 01:00:46,417 --> 01:00:47,417 OUT OF CEMENT? 1410 01:00:47,417 --> 01:00:48,959 THESE BOOTS AREN'T MADE FOR RUNNING! 1411 01:00:48,959 --> 01:00:51,625 [BOYS]: THE LUMBERJACKS! 1412 01:00:51,625 --> 01:00:53,500 GET THAT KID! 1413 01:00:56,959 --> 01:00:58,417 [POUNDING] 1414 01:00:58,417 --> 01:01:00,792 I CAN'T BUST THROUGH! 1415 01:01:00,792 --> 01:01:04,000 THIS KID IS SERIOUSLY STEPPING UP HIS BARRICADIN'. 1416 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,125 YEAH, HE IS. 1417 01:01:05,125 --> 01:01:08,125 WHERE TO NOW? 1418 01:01:08,125 --> 01:01:09,250 OH! THE FIRE ESCAPE. GO! 1419 01:01:09,250 --> 01:01:11,583 PLEASE LET THERE BE A FIRE ESCAPE. 1420 01:01:11,583 --> 01:01:14,166 -I'LL GET YOU. -LET'S GO. THIS WAY! 1421 01:01:17,166 --> 01:01:19,125 NOPE! 1422 01:01:21,041 --> 01:01:22,834 NO PLACE TO RUN NOW! 1423 01:01:22,834 --> 01:01:24,458 I GOT YOU. 1424 01:01:24,458 --> 01:01:26,041 OH, MAN. 1425 01:01:26,041 --> 01:01:28,166 NOT TILL WE POUND HIM INTO SAWDUST! 1426 01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:29,333 QUICK! 1427 01:01:29,333 --> 01:01:31,000 LIE ABOUT A HELICOPTER. 1428 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,208 I DON'T THINK IT WORKS THAT WAY. 1429 01:01:32,208 --> 01:01:33,208 WELL, THEN, HOW DOES IT WORK, JACK? 1430 01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:34,708 COME ON, TELL ME. 1431 01:01:34,708 --> 01:01:37,333 I'M SURE THE GREAT JACK PARKER CAN THINK OF A WAY OUT OF THIS. 1432 01:01:37,333 --> 01:01:38,667 [CAR HORN HONKING] 1433 01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:41,041 [BRAKES SCREECHING] 1434 01:01:42,667 --> 01:01:44,625 -GET IN! -[RELIEVED GASPING] 1435 01:01:44,625 --> 01:01:45,667 THANKS! 1436 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,125 THANKS, LISA. YOU'RE THE BEST! 1437 01:01:50,125 --> 01:01:51,166 [LOCKS THUD] 1438 01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:52,166 NOT YOU! 1439 01:01:52,166 --> 01:01:53,375 WHAT? 1440 01:01:53,375 --> 01:01:54,875 YOU BROKE MY HEART, JACKIE BEAR. 1441 01:01:54,875 --> 01:01:56,041 LISA, PLEASE! 1442 01:01:56,041 --> 01:01:58,375 WHATEVER YOU WANT, I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 1443 01:02:01,959 --> 01:02:03,917 YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SELFISH 1444 01:02:03,917 --> 01:02:05,083 AND YOU DON'T WANT 1445 01:02:05,083 --> 01:02:07,041 YOUR BRAINS SUCKED OUT OF YOUR SKULL BY ALIENS. 1446 01:02:07,041 --> 01:02:08,291 OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 1447 01:02:08,291 --> 01:02:09,625 THE TRUTH. 1448 01:02:09,625 --> 01:02:11,208 WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME? 1449 01:02:11,208 --> 01:02:15,291 [♪♪♪] 1450 01:02:19,417 --> 01:02:24,000 I-- I MADE YOU UP SO MY FRIENDS WOULDN'T MAKE FUN OF ME. 1451 01:02:25,667 --> 01:02:27,208 GET IN. 1452 01:02:27,208 --> 01:02:28,875 THANK YOU! 1453 01:02:28,875 --> 01:02:30,542 OKAY, GO. GO! 1454 01:02:36,083 --> 01:02:37,250 [BOTH GRUMBLING] 1455 01:02:42,250 --> 01:02:44,333 DAGNABBIT! 1456 01:02:59,417 --> 01:03:01,458 [ENGINE SHUTS OFF] 1457 01:03:03,166 --> 01:03:04,458 THANK YOU 1458 01:03:04,458 --> 01:03:05,792 FOR SAVING US. 1459 01:03:05,792 --> 01:03:08,250 WE'D PROBABLY BE GETTING PROBED BY ALIENS RIGHT NOW 1460 01:03:08,250 --> 01:03:09,375 IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU. 1461 01:03:09,375 --> 01:03:12,083 I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TROUBLE, JACKIE. 1462 01:03:12,083 --> 01:03:13,708 SOMEONE'S GOT TO WATCH OUT FOR YOU. 1463 01:03:13,708 --> 01:03:16,917 LISTEN, I'M SORRY I LIED TO YOU. 1464 01:03:16,917 --> 01:03:19,125 I NEVER, EVER MEANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. 1465 01:03:19,125 --> 01:03:20,959 IT'S JUST... 1466 01:03:20,959 --> 01:03:23,291 I'M KIND OF INTO SOMEONE ELSE. 1467 01:03:23,291 --> 01:03:25,917 IF YOU LIKE THIS SOMEONE ELSE SO MUCH, JACKIE BEAR, 1468 01:03:25,917 --> 01:03:27,625 JUST TRY BEING HONEST WITH HER. 1469 01:03:27,625 --> 01:03:30,792 NO ONE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP BUILT ON LIES. 1470 01:03:41,083 --> 01:03:43,792 WELL, IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO. 1471 01:03:43,792 --> 01:03:46,375 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 1472 01:03:53,959 --> 01:03:55,125 THAT WAS NUTS. 1473 01:03:55,125 --> 01:03:57,041 I KNOW, BUT IT WORKED. 1474 01:03:57,041 --> 01:03:58,458 I MEAN, YOU WERE HONEST WITH LISA, 1475 01:03:58,458 --> 01:03:59,500 AND SHE LEFT. 1476 01:03:59,500 --> 01:04:01,792 THE HIPPO SPEAKS THE TRUTH. 1477 01:04:01,792 --> 01:04:03,083 NOW YOU JUST NEED TO DO THE SAME THING 1478 01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:05,166 AND WE CAN END ALL THIS. 1479 01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,667 JACK... 1480 01:04:08,667 --> 01:04:09,708 AW, JACK! 1481 01:04:09,708 --> 01:04:12,166 I'M JUST SO CLOSE, RYAN. 1482 01:04:12,166 --> 01:04:15,000 STUDENT OF THE YEAR GETS ANNOUNCED TOMORROW. 1483 01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:16,041 ARE YOU CRAZY? 1484 01:04:16,041 --> 01:04:17,708 AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH? 1485 01:04:17,708 --> 01:04:19,542 THE HIPPO SAID I HAD TO CONFESS TO EVERYONE. 1486 01:04:19,542 --> 01:04:20,834 HE DIDN'T SAY WHEN. 1487 01:04:20,834 --> 01:04:23,291 I'LL JUST DO IT AFTER I WIN "STUDENT OF THE YEAR." 1488 01:04:23,291 --> 01:04:25,041 NO, YOU'LL DO IT TOMORROW. 1489 01:04:25,041 --> 01:04:26,333 AT THE ASSEMBLY! 1490 01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:27,708 YOU CAN TELL EVERYONE AT ONCE AND BE DONE WITH IT. 1491 01:04:27,708 --> 01:04:28,917 OKAY, WHAT ABOUT THE SOX? 1492 01:04:28,917 --> 01:04:30,250 THERE'S MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN THE SOX! 1493 01:04:30,250 --> 01:04:31,333 NOT TO ME. 1494 01:04:31,333 --> 01:04:33,500 IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU! 1495 01:04:33,500 --> 01:04:36,458 I THOUGHT YOU HAD MY BACK. 1496 01:04:36,458 --> 01:04:37,834 ARE YOU FOR REAL? 1497 01:04:37,834 --> 01:04:40,500 I GOT HUMILIATED FOR YOU. 1498 01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:41,834 I GOT WEDGIED FOR YOU! 1499 01:04:41,834 --> 01:04:44,708 I VIOLATED EVERY RULE IN THE FUNLAND CODE OF CONDUCT 1500 01:04:44,708 --> 01:04:45,667 FOR YOU! 1501 01:04:45,667 --> 01:04:48,333 I ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BACK! 1502 01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:50,542 I'M STARTING TO WONDER IF YOU HAVE MINE. 1503 01:04:50,542 --> 01:04:52,333 COME ON, RYAN. 1504 01:04:52,333 --> 01:04:54,333 AND THERE'S ALIENS NOW, DUDE. 1505 01:04:54,333 --> 01:04:55,542 ALIENS! 1506 01:04:55,542 --> 01:04:58,041 IF I COME CLEAN, 1507 01:04:58,041 --> 01:05:01,542 I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING. 1508 01:05:02,542 --> 01:05:04,583 MAYBE YOU ALREADY HAVE. 1509 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,166 RYAN. 1510 01:05:23,250 --> 01:05:25,417 MOM? 1511 01:05:25,417 --> 01:05:27,583 DAD? 1512 01:05:27,583 --> 01:05:29,750 HANNAH? 1513 01:05:29,750 --> 01:05:32,083 IS ANYBODY HOME? 1514 01:05:32,083 --> 01:05:34,291 ["MOM"]: HEY, SWEETIE! HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 1515 01:05:34,291 --> 01:05:37,583 [GROANS] A COMPLETE DISASTER. 1516 01:05:37,583 --> 01:05:40,875 I REALLY JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 1517 01:05:40,875 --> 01:05:42,583 ["DAD"]: WHAT'S UP, SPORT? 1518 01:05:42,583 --> 01:05:44,750 TAN, HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 1519 01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:46,208 "TAN"? 1520 01:05:50,250 --> 01:05:52,250 H-- HI. 1521 01:05:52,250 --> 01:05:53,542 WHERE ARE MY PARENTS? 1522 01:05:53,542 --> 01:05:56,083 HONEY, WE ARE YOUR PARENTS. 1523 01:05:56,083 --> 01:05:59,083 UH, YOU ARE NOT MY PARENTS. 1524 01:05:59,083 --> 01:06:01,375 JACK, WE MAY NOT BE YOUR BIRTH PARENTS, 1525 01:06:01,375 --> 01:06:05,375 BUT WE LOVE YOU JUST AS MUCH AS THEY EVER COULD. 1526 01:06:10,458 --> 01:06:12,834 THE CHINESE NEW YEAR LIE. 1527 01:06:13,792 --> 01:06:15,125 IT CAME TRUE. 1528 01:06:15,125 --> 01:06:17,917 I'VE BEEN ADOPTED BY ASIAN PARENTS. 1529 01:06:17,917 --> 01:06:19,458 THAT MEANS-- 1530 01:06:19,458 --> 01:06:21,291 MOM! DAD! 1531 01:06:24,166 --> 01:06:26,000 NO. 1532 01:06:29,417 --> 01:06:31,125 WHERE'S HANNAH? 1533 01:06:32,959 --> 01:06:34,083 HANNAH? 1534 01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:58,000 [BAT CRACKS] 1535 01:07:00,667 --> 01:07:03,208 [MAN]: LITTLE LATE FOR BATTING PRACTICE, ISN'T IT, KID? 1536 01:07:07,667 --> 01:07:10,041 HEY, YOU OKAY? 1537 01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,083 NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. 1538 01:07:13,083 --> 01:07:15,959 I RUINED EVERYTHING. 1539 01:07:15,959 --> 01:07:17,834 I HURT EVERYONE I LOVE. 1540 01:07:17,834 --> 01:07:21,542 AND... FOR WHAT? 1541 01:07:21,542 --> 01:07:25,041 SO PEOPLE WOULD THINK I WAS COOL? 1542 01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:27,667 SO... SO PEOPLE WOULD LIKE ME? 1543 01:07:27,667 --> 01:07:30,792 SO I COULD BE THE BAT BOY FOR THE RED SOX? 1544 01:07:32,333 --> 01:07:36,417 NONE OF THAT MEANS ANYTHING ANYMORE. 1545 01:07:36,417 --> 01:07:38,041 THAT RED SOX THING SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD. 1546 01:07:38,041 --> 01:07:40,208 IT SOUNDS GREAT. 1547 01:07:40,208 --> 01:07:43,708 BUT IS IT WORTH LOSING YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR FAMILY 1548 01:07:43,708 --> 01:07:46,208 AND THE... 1549 01:07:46,208 --> 01:07:48,583 THE GIRL YOU'VE BEEN CRUSHING ON 1550 01:07:48,583 --> 01:07:50,375 SINCE GRADE SCHOOL? 1551 01:07:51,750 --> 01:07:53,250 WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY... 1552 01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,625 I WOULD DO... 1553 01:07:55,625 --> 01:07:58,917 ANYTHING TO FIX IT. 1554 01:08:09,375 --> 01:08:11,959 [SIGHS] 1555 01:08:11,959 --> 01:08:13,375 [HELMET HITS GROUND] 1556 01:08:13,375 --> 01:08:14,583 [GASPS] 1557 01:08:16,375 --> 01:08:19,291 DANNY KOSTAS? 1558 01:08:19,291 --> 01:08:21,583 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1559 01:08:21,583 --> 01:08:23,041 SAME THING YOU'RE DOING HERE. 1560 01:08:23,041 --> 01:08:24,583 WORKING THROUGH A SLUMP. 1561 01:08:24,583 --> 01:08:26,250 WHAT BETTER PLACE TO DO IT 1562 01:08:26,250 --> 01:08:28,083 THAN THE PARK WHERE I LEARNED TO PLAY BALL? 1563 01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:34,750 I JUST... 1564 01:08:34,750 --> 01:08:38,417 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS ONE. 1565 01:08:38,417 --> 01:08:42,125 THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO GET OUT OF A SLUMP, KID. 1566 01:08:42,125 --> 01:08:43,458 KEEP SWINGING. 1567 01:08:43,458 --> 01:08:46,166 YOU STOP SWINGING... YOU'LL NEVER WIN. 1568 01:08:48,959 --> 01:08:50,834 YOU'RE RIGHT. 1569 01:08:50,834 --> 01:08:52,750 DANNY KOSTAS, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1570 01:08:52,750 --> 01:08:54,125 IT'S LIKE-- IT'S LIKE THE HIPPO SAID. 1571 01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:55,500 -HIPPO? -LONG STORY. 1572 01:08:55,500 --> 01:08:57,959 I'M GONNA DO IT. I'M GONNA SWING FOR THE FENCES. 1573 01:08:57,959 --> 01:08:59,625 THANK YOU, DANNY KOSTAS! 1574 01:08:59,625 --> 01:09:02,208 CAN I CALL YOU "DANNY"? I'M GONNA CALL YOU "DANNY." 1575 01:09:03,834 --> 01:09:06,208 BY THE WAY, UH, "DANNY"-- 1576 01:09:06,208 --> 01:09:08,083 YOU'RE STEPPING IN THE BUCKET. 1577 01:09:08,083 --> 01:09:09,667 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE PULLING TO THE LEFT. 1578 01:09:26,750 --> 01:09:28,417 WELL, I'LL BE. 1579 01:09:28,417 --> 01:09:30,667 I WAS STEPPING IN THE BUCKET. 1580 01:09:37,667 --> 01:09:40,417 [♪♪♪] 1581 01:09:49,667 --> 01:09:51,500 DUDE, WHERE'S JACK? 1582 01:09:51,500 --> 01:09:52,959 HE'S GONNA MISS HIS OWN VICTORY SPEECH. 1583 01:09:52,959 --> 01:09:55,834 WELL, I GUESS WE SHOULD GET STARTED. 1584 01:09:55,834 --> 01:09:56,959 AHEM. 1585 01:09:56,959 --> 01:09:58,834 "STUDENT OF THE YEAR" 1586 01:09:58,834 --> 01:10:01,792 IS OUR SCHOOL'S MOST PRESTIGIOUS HONOR. 1587 01:10:01,792 --> 01:10:05,166 IT IS DECIDED BY A PANEL OF TEACHERS, 1588 01:10:05,166 --> 01:10:06,333 THE STUDENT COUNCIL, 1589 01:10:06,333 --> 01:10:07,667 AND, OF COURSE, YOURS TRULY. 1590 01:10:07,667 --> 01:10:10,125 [CHUCKLES AS MICROPHONE SQUEALS] 1591 01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:12,000 HMM. 1592 01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,875 EVERYONE UP HERE IS A WINNER. 1593 01:10:15,875 --> 01:10:20,041 IT'S JUST THAT SOME WINNERS WIN MORE THAN OTHERS. 1594 01:10:20,041 --> 01:10:21,208 AND NOW, 1595 01:10:21,208 --> 01:10:24,250 THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... 1596 01:10:26,208 --> 01:10:30,375 THIS YEAR'S STUDENT OF THE YEAR IS... 1597 01:10:31,917 --> 01:10:35,041 JACK PARKER-R-R-R-! 1598 01:10:35,041 --> 01:10:37,708 [CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] 1599 01:10:48,208 --> 01:10:50,291 [CROWD ROARING] 1600 01:10:52,708 --> 01:10:55,166 [♪♪♪] 1601 01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:15,667 [THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE CONTINUES] 1602 01:11:25,875 --> 01:11:29,250 [CROWD CONTINUES RAUCOUS CHEERING] 1603 01:11:41,959 --> 01:11:44,125 I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS HONOR. 1604 01:11:44,125 --> 01:11:46,875 I KNOW MIKEY WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU, TOO. 1605 01:11:49,959 --> 01:11:52,792 IF... HE WAS REAL. 1606 01:11:54,667 --> 01:11:56,917 [CROWD MURMURING] 1607 01:11:58,667 --> 01:12:01,125 BUT, UH... HE ISN'T. 1608 01:12:01,125 --> 01:12:02,291 [CROWD GASPS] 1609 01:12:02,291 --> 01:12:03,625 [RYAN CHUCKLES] 1610 01:12:03,625 --> 01:12:05,625 WHAT IS HE DOING? 1611 01:12:05,625 --> 01:12:08,333 TELLING THE TRUTH. 1612 01:12:08,333 --> 01:12:10,834 MIKEY NEVER REALLY EXISTED. 1613 01:12:10,834 --> 01:12:13,291 I... I MADE HIM UP, 1614 01:12:13,291 --> 01:12:15,625 ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF-- 1615 01:12:15,625 --> 01:12:19,959 THE LUMBERJACKS, MY HOT ARIZONA GIRLFRIEND, 1616 01:12:19,959 --> 01:12:22,500 ALIENS, MIKEY'S BIONIC DOG, 1617 01:12:22,500 --> 01:12:26,208 MY WRESTLER UNCLE, MY ASIAN PARENTS, 1618 01:12:26,208 --> 01:12:27,625 BEARS... 1619 01:12:27,625 --> 01:12:30,500 WELL, I DIDN'T REALLY MAKE UP BEARS. 1620 01:12:30,500 --> 01:12:31,834 THERE'S BEARS. 1621 01:12:31,834 --> 01:12:34,667 JUST NOT AT THE CONVENTION CENTER. 1622 01:12:34,667 --> 01:12:36,542 [CROWD MURMURING] 1623 01:12:36,542 --> 01:12:38,458 AS ALONG AS I'M BEING HONEST, 1624 01:12:38,458 --> 01:12:42,000 I HAVEN'T BEEN VERY HONEST. 1625 01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:45,333 I, UH, I THOUGHT I WAS MAKING PEOPLE HAPPY 1626 01:12:45,333 --> 01:12:48,500 AND GETTING WHAT I WANT. 1627 01:12:48,500 --> 01:12:52,166 I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS... 1628 01:12:52,166 --> 01:12:55,333 HURTING THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT. 1629 01:12:57,375 --> 01:12:59,458 I JUST WANT TO SAY... 1630 01:13:02,917 --> 01:13:04,917 I'M SORRY. 1631 01:13:04,917 --> 01:13:08,708 I DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE NOMINATED FOR THIS AWARD, 1632 01:13:08,708 --> 01:13:10,375 AND I... 1633 01:13:10,375 --> 01:13:13,667 DEFINITELY DON'T DESERVE TO WIN IT. 1634 01:13:23,250 --> 01:13:25,208 I KNOW I'M IN TROUBLE. 1635 01:13:25,208 --> 01:13:27,041 GIVE ME DETENTION. 1636 01:13:27,041 --> 01:13:28,959 SUSPEND ME. WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO. 1637 01:13:28,959 --> 01:13:33,166 THIS IS A DARK DAY FOR THE BELOW-AVERAGE JOE. 1638 01:13:38,083 --> 01:13:39,542 [SIGHS] WELL... 1639 01:13:39,542 --> 01:13:42,083 I GUESS 1640 01:13:42,083 --> 01:13:45,500 THIS YEAR'S AWARD NOW GOES TO OUR RUNNER-UP... 1641 01:13:46,458 --> 01:13:48,417 STEPHANIE MILLER. 1642 01:13:48,417 --> 01:13:50,917 YES! YES! [CACKLING WITH GLEE] 1643 01:13:50,917 --> 01:13:53,083 OH! I DID IT. I WON! 1644 01:13:53,083 --> 01:13:54,708 IN YOUR FACE, PARKER! 1645 01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:58,041 PUBLIC LIBRARY, HERE I COME! 1646 01:13:58,041 --> 01:14:01,250 YES! I WON! 1647 01:14:01,250 --> 01:14:03,250 I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL MY FRIENDS 1648 01:14:03,250 --> 01:14:04,792 FOR NOT DISTRACTING ME DURING MY STUDY TIME 1649 01:14:04,792 --> 01:14:05,875 AND MY MOM. 1650 01:14:19,250 --> 01:14:21,000 HEY. 1651 01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,125 HEY. 1652 01:14:24,667 --> 01:14:26,959 SO... 1653 01:14:28,291 --> 01:14:30,125 YEAH. 1654 01:14:30,125 --> 01:14:32,000 ME TOO. 1655 01:14:35,125 --> 01:14:37,792 YOU DID IT, MAN. IT'S ALL OVER. 1656 01:14:38,750 --> 01:14:40,750 YEP. 1657 01:14:40,750 --> 01:14:43,250 IT'S ALL OVER. 1658 01:14:43,250 --> 01:14:46,083 EXCEPT WHAT'S HE STILL DOING HERE? 1659 01:14:46,083 --> 01:14:47,375 HEY, BUDDY. WHERE YOU BEEN? 1660 01:14:49,792 --> 01:14:51,625 NO. I DID IT. I DID WHAT THE HIPPO SAID! 1661 01:14:51,625 --> 01:14:53,125 YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE! YOU SHOULD BE GONE. 1662 01:14:53,125 --> 01:14:54,792 OH, I CAN'T LEAVE YET, JACK. 1663 01:14:54,792 --> 01:14:57,458 THERE'S STILL ONE MORE THING WE NEED TO DO. 1664 01:14:57,458 --> 01:15:00,291 THERE THEY ARE! 1665 01:15:00,291 --> 01:15:02,458 BUT I TOLD THE TRUTH! 1666 01:15:02,458 --> 01:15:04,291 WELL, OBVIOUSLY, THEY DIDN'T HEAR IT. 1667 01:15:06,166 --> 01:15:07,875 -DUDE? YEP. -ON IT! 1668 01:15:17,708 --> 01:15:19,625 [SHRIEKING] 1669 01:15:19,625 --> 01:15:21,000 -OTHER WAY. -OTHER WAY! 1670 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,500 [ALIENS CONTINUE SHRIEKING] 1671 01:15:26,625 --> 01:15:29,166 [♪♪♪] 1672 01:15:29,166 --> 01:15:31,625 [IN UNISON]: PLEASE, SON, COME BACK TO US. 1673 01:15:31,625 --> 01:15:32,750 JACKIE-BEAR! 1674 01:15:32,750 --> 01:15:36,041 I CHANGED MY MIND. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU. 1675 01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:38,041 YO, JACK. 1676 01:15:38,041 --> 01:15:40,041 [ROARS VICIOUSLY] 1677 01:15:41,959 --> 01:15:43,000 [BARKS] 1678 01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:45,333 [RYAN YELPS] 1679 01:15:45,333 --> 01:15:48,125 [♪♪♪] 1680 01:16:01,667 --> 01:16:04,000 [DEEP, BOOMING VOICE]: HELLO, JACK! 1681 01:16:05,542 --> 01:16:06,875 NO. 1682 01:16:06,875 --> 01:16:08,750 NO! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? 1683 01:16:08,750 --> 01:16:10,917 YOU SAID IF I TOLD THE TRUTH, 1684 01:16:10,917 --> 01:16:12,166 ALL OF MY LIES WOULD GO AWAY! 1685 01:16:12,166 --> 01:16:13,208 BUT YOU LIED! 1686 01:16:13,208 --> 01:16:14,708 YOU'RE THE LIAR! 1687 01:16:14,708 --> 01:16:17,250 NOW WE'RE ABOUT TO BE KILLED BY ALIEN LUMBERJACKS! 1688 01:16:17,250 --> 01:16:18,291 SILENCE! 1689 01:16:18,291 --> 01:16:20,041 HERE'S HOW THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE. 1690 01:16:23,083 --> 01:16:24,708 CALM DOWN. 1691 01:16:26,208 --> 01:16:27,375 HANNAH? 1692 01:16:29,875 --> 01:16:31,417 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! 1693 01:16:31,417 --> 01:16:32,708 OKAY, WE HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE. 1694 01:16:32,708 --> 01:16:35,375 THERE ARE ALIENS AND LUMBERJACKS OUT THERE! 1695 01:16:36,583 --> 01:16:37,959 NO. NO-NO-NO-NO-NO! 1696 01:16:37,959 --> 01:16:40,250 -PLEASE DON'T OPEN THE-- -NO! 1697 01:16:43,417 --> 01:16:44,917 JACK. 1698 01:16:44,917 --> 01:16:46,417 JACK, WHAT IS HAPPENING? 1699 01:16:46,417 --> 01:16:47,708 DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1700 01:16:47,708 --> 01:16:49,083 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING! 1701 01:16:49,083 --> 01:16:50,750 YOUR LIES WEREN'T REALLY COMING TRUE. 1702 01:16:50,750 --> 01:16:52,291 WHAT? 1703 01:16:55,583 --> 01:16:57,291 HOW? 1704 01:16:59,375 --> 01:17:01,083 YOU DIDN'T THINK 1705 01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:03,125 YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD TELL A LIE, 1706 01:17:03,125 --> 01:17:04,250 DID YOU? 1707 01:17:04,250 --> 01:17:05,792 YOU DID THIS? 1708 01:17:05,792 --> 01:17:07,875 ALL OF THIS? 1709 01:17:07,875 --> 01:17:08,917 -NO! -NO... 1710 01:17:08,917 --> 01:17:10,959 -YEP. -WHY? 1711 01:17:10,959 --> 01:17:13,291 I WAS SO SICK OF YOU LYING 1712 01:17:13,291 --> 01:17:16,291 AND ALWAYS GETTING AWAY WITH IT, 1713 01:17:16,291 --> 01:17:19,125 SO I RECRUITED A FEW FRIENDS FROM MY ACTING CLASS, 1714 01:17:19,125 --> 01:17:20,792 AND MY PLAN CAME TOGETHER. 1715 01:17:20,792 --> 01:17:22,041 I EXPLAINED TO THEM 1716 01:17:22,041 --> 01:17:24,458 HOW OUT OF CONTROL YOUR LYING HAD GOTTEN, 1717 01:17:24,458 --> 01:17:26,250 AND HOW YOU HAD TO BE STOPPED-- 1718 01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:29,125 FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY! 1719 01:17:29,125 --> 01:17:31,166 EVERYONE WAS GIVEN THEIR ASSIGNMENTS... 1720 01:17:31,166 --> 01:17:32,417 -OH, YEAH! -THERE YOU GO! 1721 01:17:32,417 --> 01:17:34,208 ...STARTED GETTING INTO CHARACTER... 1722 01:17:34,208 --> 01:17:37,792 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THIS THING? 1723 01:17:39,750 --> 01:17:43,959 AND THEN, ONE BY ONE, I MADE YOUR LIES COME TRUE. 1724 01:17:43,959 --> 01:17:47,542 [DIRECTOR]: PLACES, EVERYONE! WE GO LIVE IN FIVE MINUTES! 1725 01:17:47,542 --> 01:17:50,375 [HANNAH]: I PLANTED A FEW CLUES ALONG THE WAY, 1726 01:17:50,375 --> 01:17:52,458 AND WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING STUCK, 1727 01:17:52,458 --> 01:17:54,125 I'D GIVE YOU A LITTLE PUSH. 1728 01:17:54,125 --> 01:17:57,500 LOOK. ALL I KNOW IS THAT HURLEY'S MAIN HABITAT 1729 01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:59,667 IS THE JUNGLE MINI-GOLF COURSE. 1730 01:18:00,667 --> 01:18:02,166 TO THE BUS STOP! 1731 01:18:02,166 --> 01:18:04,166 [HANNAH]: WHEN MOM AND DAD WENT OUT FOR BOWLING NIGHT, 1732 01:18:04,166 --> 01:18:07,250 I ASKED MIN AND TAN COME OVER AND HELP DRIVE IT HOME. 1733 01:18:07,250 --> 01:18:10,625 [CHUCKLES] MOM AND DAD NEVER EVEN KNEW. 1734 01:18:12,834 --> 01:18:14,875 WAIT. WHO ARE THEY? 1735 01:18:14,875 --> 01:18:16,166 THEY'RE MY MANDARIN TUTORS! 1736 01:18:16,166 --> 01:18:17,250 YOU SPEAK CHINESE? 1737 01:18:17,250 --> 01:18:20,667 [SPEAKING MANDARIN] 1738 01:18:20,667 --> 01:18:22,208 [MIN AND TAN LAUGHING] 1739 01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:25,750 [THEY KEEP LAUGHING] 1740 01:18:25,750 --> 01:18:27,750 OKAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ALIENS? 1741 01:18:27,750 --> 01:18:29,583 OH, BRAD AND TODD ARE REAL STUNT GUYS, 1742 01:18:29,583 --> 01:18:32,792 SO THEY DID US A SOLID AND RIGGED IT ALL UP. 1743 01:18:32,792 --> 01:18:35,208 HURRY UP AND PUT THOSE IN! 1744 01:18:35,208 --> 01:18:36,875 IF I COULD SEE WHAT I WAS DOING, 1745 01:18:36,875 --> 01:18:40,500 I WOULDN'T NEED CONTACTS IN THE FIRST PLACE. 1746 01:18:42,875 --> 01:18:44,041 [HANNAH]: YOU HAD ME SCRAMBLING 1747 01:18:44,041 --> 01:18:45,542 WITH A COUPLE LAST-MINUTE LIES, 1748 01:18:45,542 --> 01:18:48,375 BUT, LUCKILY, TRISH IS MAJORING IN ROBOTICS. 1749 01:18:51,500 --> 01:18:55,041 OF COURSE, I HAD TO GET IN ON THAT ACTION MYSELF. 1750 01:18:55,041 --> 01:18:58,041 OKAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE PICTURES OF ME AND MIKEY, 1751 01:18:58,041 --> 01:18:59,750 OR MY ADOPTED PARENTS? 1752 01:18:59,750 --> 01:19:00,875 PHOTOSHOP. 1753 01:19:00,875 --> 01:19:02,125 THAT IS-- 1754 01:19:03,208 --> 01:19:04,708 [DEEP, BOOMING]: INGENIOUS? 1755 01:19:04,708 --> 01:19:07,667 [♪♪♪] 1756 01:19:07,667 --> 01:19:09,708 UH, LYLE? 1757 01:19:09,708 --> 01:19:10,708 NOT RIGHT NOW. 1758 01:19:10,708 --> 01:19:13,834 SORRY. 1759 01:19:13,834 --> 01:19:15,291 I WAS GONNA SAY DIABOLICAL. 1760 01:19:15,291 --> 01:19:16,375 YEAH. 1761 01:19:17,583 --> 01:19:19,917 SOMEONE HAD TO STOP YOU, JACK. 1762 01:19:19,917 --> 01:19:21,291 I KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD KID, 1763 01:19:21,291 --> 01:19:24,083 BUT IF YOU KEEP LYING TO EVERYONE YOU MEET, 1764 01:19:24,083 --> 01:19:25,333 SOON, IT WON'T MATTER. 1765 01:19:25,333 --> 01:19:28,083 LIFE IS PRETTY LONELY WHEN NO ONE TRUSTS YOU. 1766 01:19:32,583 --> 01:19:34,041 YOU'RE RIGHT. 1767 01:19:34,041 --> 01:19:35,417 IT IS. 1768 01:19:35,417 --> 01:19:38,125 WAIT. YOU TRIED TO TEACH JACK 1769 01:19:38,125 --> 01:19:39,208 THAT LYING IS BAD 1770 01:19:39,208 --> 01:19:40,417 BY LYING TO HIM? 1771 01:19:40,417 --> 01:19:41,417 [RYAN SCOFFS] 1772 01:19:41,417 --> 01:19:43,375 MAN, YOU TWO ARE DEFINITELY RELATED. 1773 01:19:43,375 --> 01:19:45,458 [JACK AND HANNAH LAUGH] 1774 01:19:45,458 --> 01:19:47,917 SO? HOW'D I DO? 1775 01:19:47,917 --> 01:19:50,834 A FLAWLESS PERFORMANCE, MIKEY. 1776 01:19:50,834 --> 01:19:53,250 MIKEY? YOUR NAME'S ACTUALLY MIKEY? 1777 01:19:53,250 --> 01:19:54,917 YEAH. WHAT ARE THE ODDS? 1778 01:19:54,917 --> 01:19:56,083 [ALL CHUCKLING] 1779 01:19:56,083 --> 01:19:58,417 COME ON, GUYS. 1780 01:19:59,375 --> 01:20:00,583 READY TO GO? 1781 01:20:00,583 --> 01:20:03,125 YEAH. JUST... JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. 1782 01:20:03,125 --> 01:20:04,333 ALRIGHT. 1783 01:20:19,917 --> 01:20:21,417 UGH! 1784 01:20:21,417 --> 01:20:23,959 OH, THIS THING SMELLS LIKE HANNAH BREATH. 1785 01:20:23,959 --> 01:20:25,458 AHEM! 1786 01:20:25,458 --> 01:20:27,583 YOU LIED ABOUT MIKEY? 1787 01:20:28,625 --> 01:20:30,959 MOM! DAD. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? 1788 01:20:30,959 --> 01:20:32,458 PRINCIPAL KAR CALLED. 1789 01:20:32,458 --> 01:20:33,583 TOLD US TO GET DOWN HERE. 1790 01:20:33,583 --> 01:20:34,792 WE THOUGHT YOU WON! 1791 01:20:34,792 --> 01:20:35,959 YOU DIDN'T! 1792 01:20:35,959 --> 01:20:38,125 YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN. 1793 01:20:38,125 --> 01:20:40,333 ME? IT WAS ALL HANNAH. SHE'S THE ONE-- 1794 01:20:40,333 --> 01:20:41,458 JACK. 1795 01:20:41,458 --> 01:20:43,375 YEAH, I'M GROUNDED. I KNOW. 1796 01:20:51,500 --> 01:20:53,500 UGH! 1797 01:20:53,500 --> 01:20:55,291 I THOUGHT THEY FOUND THE POSSUM. 1798 01:20:57,291 --> 01:20:58,959 HOW'S THE PUNISHMENT GOING? 1799 01:20:58,959 --> 01:21:01,000 [SIGHS] IS IT BEDTIME YET? 1800 01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:02,291 IT'S NOT EVEN NOON. 1801 01:21:02,291 --> 01:21:04,000 MM. 1802 01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:05,667 WELL, I'M OFF TO THE WIENER PALACE. 1803 01:21:05,667 --> 01:21:06,667 OH, BY THE WAY-- 1804 01:21:06,667 --> 01:21:08,041 YOU MISSED A SPOT. 1805 01:21:08,041 --> 01:21:10,250 -OH, YEAH. -YEAH! 1806 01:21:14,792 --> 01:21:17,708 HEY, MAN. WHAT'S UP? 1807 01:21:17,708 --> 01:21:21,500 OH, YOU KNOW. JUST LIVING THE DREAM. 1808 01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:25,458 IF THE DREAM IS SUCKING GARAGE DUST. 1809 01:21:25,458 --> 01:21:27,375 [MOM]: JACK, YOU'RE NOT SITTING DOWN, ARE YOU? 1810 01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:29,041 NO-- 1811 01:21:29,041 --> 01:21:31,250 [CHUCKLES DRYLY] 1812 01:21:31,250 --> 01:21:32,542 YES. 1813 01:21:32,542 --> 01:21:35,333 RYAN JUST CAME TO VISIT. 1814 01:21:35,333 --> 01:21:37,667 THE TRUTH. NICELY DONE. 1815 01:21:37,667 --> 01:21:38,959 HOW LONG YOU GROUNDED? 1816 01:21:38,959 --> 01:21:41,208 WELL, I'M NOT ALLOWED OUT OF THE HOUSE 1817 01:21:41,208 --> 01:21:43,542 UNTIL THE GARAGE IS CLEAN. 1818 01:21:43,542 --> 01:21:46,417 WELL, IF WE WORK TOGETHER, 1819 01:21:46,417 --> 01:21:49,208 WE SHOULD HAVE YOU OUT OF HERE IN ABOUT A WEEK. 1820 01:21:49,208 --> 01:21:51,000 [CHUCKLES] 1821 01:21:51,917 --> 01:21:53,834 [KNOCKING] 1822 01:21:53,834 --> 01:21:56,291 [STARTS THUMPING] 1823 01:21:58,875 --> 01:22:00,333 JACK? 1824 01:22:00,333 --> 01:22:02,375 WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY DOOR DOWN? 1825 01:22:02,375 --> 01:22:04,125 OH! SORRY, SORRY. 1826 01:22:04,125 --> 01:22:05,875 YEAH, FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ALLOWED OUT OF THE HOUSE 1827 01:22:05,875 --> 01:22:06,917 IN OVER A WEEK. 1828 01:22:06,917 --> 01:22:08,583 GOT A LITTLE EXCITED. 1829 01:22:08,583 --> 01:22:10,041 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1830 01:22:10,041 --> 01:22:11,959 LISTEN, JENNIFER, I KNOW I MESSED UP, 1831 01:22:11,959 --> 01:22:13,166 BUT FROM NOW ON, 1832 01:22:13,166 --> 01:22:14,625 I'M GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU. 1833 01:22:14,625 --> 01:22:16,375 OKAY. 1834 01:22:16,375 --> 01:22:18,583 OKAY. UM... 1835 01:22:18,583 --> 01:22:20,708 I LIKE YOU. 1836 01:22:20,708 --> 01:22:22,208 A LOT. 1837 01:22:22,208 --> 01:22:24,458 LIKE, HEH... "A LOT" A LOT, AND, UH, 1838 01:22:24,458 --> 01:22:25,834 I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU, 1839 01:22:25,834 --> 01:22:28,083 AND I WANT YOU TO GET TO KNOW ME, THE REAL ME. 1840 01:22:28,083 --> 01:22:30,375 ALL THE GOOD AND THE BAD. 1841 01:22:30,375 --> 01:22:31,875 LIKE, UH... 1842 01:22:31,875 --> 01:22:33,500 I TALK IN MY SLEEP. 1843 01:22:33,500 --> 01:22:35,417 MY FAVORITE FLAVOR IS GRAVY. 1844 01:22:35,417 --> 01:22:36,667 I BITE MY TOENAILS. 1845 01:22:36,667 --> 01:22:38,250 OH, STOP. 1846 01:22:38,250 --> 01:22:39,917 TOO MUCH HONESTY. 1847 01:22:39,917 --> 01:22:41,083 RIGHT. SORRY. 1848 01:22:41,083 --> 01:22:43,083 STILL TRYING TO GET USED TO TELLING THE TRUTH. 1849 01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:45,291 WILL YOU AT LEAST 1850 01:22:45,291 --> 01:22:47,625 CONSIDER GIVING ME A SECOND CHANCE? 1851 01:22:50,166 --> 01:22:52,000 COME ON... 1852 01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:53,834 LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 1853 01:22:56,792 --> 01:22:58,125 FINE. 1854 01:22:58,125 --> 01:22:59,792 YOU CAN MAKE IT UP TO ME. 1855 01:22:59,792 --> 01:23:01,166 YES! OKAY. 1856 01:23:01,166 --> 01:23:03,125 WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? 1857 01:23:03,125 --> 01:23:04,458 -RIGHT NOW? -RIGHT NOW! 1858 01:23:04,458 --> 01:23:08,417 DANNY KOSTAS OF THE RED SOX IS KIND OF MY BUDDY. 1859 01:23:08,417 --> 01:23:10,708 I GAVE HIM SOME HITTING ADVICE. YOU KNOW, NOTHING BIG. 1860 01:23:10,708 --> 01:23:12,792 BUT HE SENT HIS LIMO 1861 01:23:12,792 --> 01:23:14,583 TO TAKE ME AND ANYBODY I WANT 1862 01:23:14,583 --> 01:23:15,959 TO THE RED SOX GAME TODAY, 1863 01:23:15,959 --> 01:23:17,500 AND I WANT TO TAKE YOU. 1864 01:23:17,500 --> 01:23:19,458 YOU JUST SAID, 1865 01:23:19,458 --> 01:23:22,291 "FROM NOW ON, I'M GONNA BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU." 1866 01:23:22,291 --> 01:23:23,959 I AM. 1867 01:23:23,959 --> 01:23:26,458 SEE YOU AT SCHOOL, JACK. 1868 01:23:26,458 --> 01:23:27,458 BUT JENNIFER-- 1869 01:23:27,458 --> 01:23:28,959 [THUD] 1870 01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:57,125 SO? WHAT'D SHE SAY? 1871 01:23:57,125 --> 01:23:58,667 SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME. 1872 01:23:58,667 --> 01:24:00,000 OH. 1873 01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:01,417 WELL, TAKE ME TO FENWAY. 1874 01:24:02,834 --> 01:24:05,291 YOU HAVE A LIMO? 1875 01:24:09,542 --> 01:24:10,708 JENNIFER... 1876 01:24:10,708 --> 01:24:13,792 WOULD I LIE TO YOU? 1877 01:24:13,792 --> 01:24:15,542 ["HUMAN HEAT" BY SAM ROBERTS PLAYING] 1878 01:24:15,542 --> 01:24:18,208 ♪ WHY DON'T WE GO TO THE CITY NOW? ♪ 1879 01:24:18,208 --> 01:24:20,792 ♪ WE CAN SEE ALL THE NITTY GRITTY NOW ♪ 1880 01:24:20,792 --> 01:24:24,333 ♪ CATCH A FLY BALL AT THE STADIUM ♪ 1881 01:24:24,333 --> 01:24:27,291 ♪ MAYBE FREEFALL INTO OBLIVION ♪ 1882 01:24:27,291 --> 01:24:29,250 ♪ THESE DAYS, THESE DAYS ♪ 1883 01:24:29,250 --> 01:24:31,708 ♪ EVERY TIME THAT I GO DOWNTOWN ♪ 1884 01:24:31,708 --> 01:24:33,208 ♪ I CAN'T BELIEVE ♪ 1885 01:24:33,208 --> 01:24:34,542 ♪ THERE'S SO MUCH THERE'S SO MUCH ♪ 1886 01:24:34,542 --> 01:24:36,125 ♪ OF EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING ♪ 1887 01:24:36,125 --> 01:24:39,166 ♪ THERE'S SO MUCH OF EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING ♪ 1888 01:24:39,166 --> 01:24:41,458 ♪ MOVE WITH THE TIMES OR THEY'LL LEAVE YOU BEHIND ♪ 1889 01:24:41,458 --> 01:24:45,125 ♪ YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY ♪ 1890 01:24:45,125 --> 01:24:47,500 ♪ MOVE WITH THE TIMES OR GO OUT OF YOUR MIND ♪ 1891 01:24:47,500 --> 01:24:51,708 ♪ YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY ♪ 1892 01:24:51,708 --> 01:24:55,750 [♪♪♪] 1893 01:25:09,250 --> 01:25:10,750 ♪ IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS ♪ 1894 01:25:10,750 --> 01:25:14,000 ♪ THEN IT MEANS THAT THERE'S NO APOCALYPSE ♪ 1895 01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:17,417 ♪ STILL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN GO DOWNTOWN ANYMORE ♪ 1896 01:25:17,417 --> 01:25:19,375 ♪ THERE'S TOO MUCH THERE'S TOO MUCH ♪ 1897 01:25:19,375 --> 01:25:21,250 ♪ OF EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING ♪ 1898 01:25:21,250 --> 01:25:24,166 ♪ OUT ON THE STREET SHOULDER TO SHOULDER ♪ 1899 01:25:24,166 --> 01:25:27,041 ♪ THE HUMAN HEAT IS BOILING OVER ♪ 1900 01:25:27,041 --> 01:25:30,834 [♪♪♪] 117966

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