Original subtitles

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My darling,

remembering as I sit here those last days

before we met in Los Angeles,

they now seem very significant.

For though they consisted only in waiting,

I knew as I waited, my life was about to change.

And even though I've returned home now

and all likelihood, never see you again,

it is true that I am a new and better person

for with you I have known the fullest love possible.

- It feels like a long time ago.

Six months, it's not so long really.

All this began then.

Is she up?

Just as it ended now with Mama.

Mama?

- Anna, come in.

What are sitting here with the lights off for?

Waiting for you, listening for you.

What's this? - What do you think?

Oh, gardenias, my favorite.

It's not even the season. - Dr. Barnkin,

please call Station 27. - Smell.

Did you listen to my show, today?

Don't I always?

Anna, you're the only thing in my life that's really

turned out.

That I can really be proud of.

I want you to know that.

- Please don't, Mama.

You won't make the same kinda mistakes that I did.

You're so much smarter than I ever was.

I have.

Dr. Barnkin,

please report to geriatrics. - Something important for you.

You've never seen this before.

I've had it for a long, long time.

- Who gave it to you?

Not Daddy.

- It doesn't fit anymore.

I never really could wear it anyway.

I want you to have it now.

- I'll keep it for you

'til ya get better.

- All right.

- I love you.

Just go ahead the way you've been going.

I know you'll be fine.

- Hi, Daddy.

Hi.

Dr. Cameron, please meet Dr. Bock in-

Well, how are we feelin', today?

Oh, about the same.

- How's work?

- Work's okay.

New owners are nice.

Looks like they're gonna keep me on.

Koreans.

- I have to go.

- So soon?

- I have a 6 a.m. show.

Don't get up for it, okay?

I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye, Daddy.

- Bye.

You've been listening to the Obsessions in Music show

here at KLAS, your listener supported radio station,

where it's all music all the time.

Coming up next is Danny De Fronso

and the Roots of Rock 'N' Roll.

Now, it's time to enjoy some real culture

and I mean with a capital C,

so here from the '50s are The Capitols and Speed Row.

Anna.

God, I'm sorry I'm late.

Thanks for coverin' for me.

- Where were ya last night?

I heard the most incredible band, again.

The guy out there in the gray sweater,

ya know him?

- I'm tryin' to pick his pocket

for the Evening in New Music concerts.

- He's a donor?

- That guy's loaded.

God bless him.

Play me some Shirelles for the ride home, okay?

- You got it. - Bye.

- See ya later. - Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- Hello, again. - Hello.

You're Anna Winter, aren't you?

- Mm-hmm. - Hi, I'm Oliver Andrews.

I'm a fan, a very big fan of yours.

I listen to you all the time. - That's great.

I've always wanted a fan.

It's been nice to meet you, Mr. Andrews.

Excuse me. - Nice to meet you, too.

Anna, I hope I'll be seeing you again.

In the meantime, I'll be listening.

If you're a widower, do you still wear a wedding ring?

- I don't know.

You know this is a hangup with you, father figures.

- Harley wasn't that much older.

Yeah, Harley was an aberration.

I'll say.

You wanna carry this for a minute?

- Not much; okay, I will.

I had an actual date the other night.

- Yeah, how'd it go?

Oh, really badly.

This guy got loaded and proceeded to tell me

his entire life story. - Yeah?

At least ya got a good meal out of it.

No way, wasn't anyway I was gonna end up owing that guy.

Dutch treat, he woulda jumped me for sure.

Listen, you wanna go to my house or your house?

Mine.

I'm goin' celibate, I'm givin' up men.

I mean, I'm really sick and tired

of tryin' to find some kinda guy

that is witty, intelligent, rich, handsome.

You just want a Prince Charming.

- Yeah and why not?

All I ever get are these kinda guys that grumble

outta the bedroom in the morning.

They smell, they never even help you make the bed.

Now, you're talkin' about George.

Good ol' George, dropped his clothes everywhere

and expected me to pick 'em up.

- You did. - Well, somebody had to.

I'm tellin' you, that guy couldn't even fry an egg

without asking me 15 questions.

How hot should the pan be?

Where's the thing ya flip it with?

How can I tell when it's done?

- He just wanted a mama. - Yeah.

He wanted a mama, you wanna papa.

You know, no wonder you and George never got along.

You just pick the wrong guys, Wendy.

- So what else is new?

It's like a national disease.

Look at Harley.

Harley is a national disease.

- You know, it's not George.

It's not Harley.

It's men in general.

They're an inferior breed.

Excuse me, are you Maggie's daughter?

I sang with your mother in the choir.

I just want you to know that we loved her very much.

She was a real live wire.

Oh, Chuck, you come to dinner next week.

Be sure. - Thank you, Frank.

Ready to go, hun?

Good.

Good cake.

Your mother had some things upstairs

you might wanna go through.

I want you to take anything.

Anything

that you might want.

Anything you think should be saved.

- What are ya gonna do, Daddy?

- I kinda hoped you might

come by a little more often than...

I know you and your mother were very close.

- Daddy? - I'm all right!

- Daddy? - I'm all right.

You just go upstairs.

Come on, Sammy.

My darling,

during the last weeks, I couldn't write as often as you,

but it was the press of work and nothing else

that stopped the flow.

Most of the time, I can hardly believe you're married.

I love you.

My love and need seem a permanent part of me,

a part that will not disappear in a year or 10 or 20.

You are the woman of my heart

and I'm happy you are despite all the obstacles,

the impossibilities.

I am yours, Joseph.

- Sammy and I have had our walk

and we feel much the better for it.

- Good.

- You gonna be long?

- No, I'll just clear up.

- Take your time.

I wouldn't want you to miss anything.

Uh, you're gonna spend the night, aren't ya?

I mean,

it's gettin' awful late.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Good.

I wanted to tell ya

that I love you.

I love you very much.

- Go to sleep, Daddy.

At moments, I have the egocentric idea

that I love you enough,

intensely and strongly enough to hold us together

though we're separated for so much of the time.

I am torn and harried by your absence

and driven by the loneliness without you.

I continually burn by the physical need of you.

But at the same time, you are my warmth and my energy

and the goodness of the world to me.

I will shamelessly do whatever I can to keep you loving me.

- Wow, when did all this go on?

- 1965.

How old were you?

- About six.

Listen.

Sometimes when I'm most alone,

I fear that the memory plays me false

and it could not have been as intense and lovely as I think.

But then certain overpowering images of you,

of your face bending toward mine,

of your body turned to me,

reassure me that it was real and it will be again.

My darling, I love you.

It's amazing how much.

Two dollars.

Anna, please get Ralph back here

as soon as possible for that interview.

We're runnin' a little over, okay?

Okay, you know, I kinda like it.

- It's interesting, huh?

Hmm, it's like four butterflies

tryin' to fly in formation.

That's very poetic; you don't mind if I use that do you?

Yay!

Have you ever seen anything like that?

God, thank you so much

for bringing me here, tonight.

It's really fantastic. - Excellent, excellent.

Yes. - Hi, Oliver.

How are ya? - You really should be

proud of yourself. - Thank you.

There she is. - Hi.

- Hi, muah!

Did ya like it? - Are ya kidding?

I loved it. - A little feedback.

I heard it, but- - Nobody else did.

Did you, Mr. Andrews? - Oliver.

- Do you know each other?

- Danny needs you now. - Yeah, oh, great.

Muah. - You were wonderful.

- Maybe later? - Okay, go on.

It's amaze- - How long have you-

I'm sorry, go on.

- No, you go on.

I was just gonna say I didn't know you knew Ralph.

I was just gonna say the same thing.

Are you two?

- We're just friends.

He's just excited, that's all.

Oh, he's really a very talented fellow.

- He's a good kid.

Perhaps you'd like to have a drink with me?

Maybe we could go to some place nearby?

You don't have to feel like ya have to.

- Is that a no?

No, I just don't want you to be polite.

- I'm rarely polite.

Would you like to have a drink with me?

I'd love to have a drink with you.

- I'm married.

- I figured.

- Two kids.

Look, I'd just like to tell you with no strings attached

that I think you're extraordinary.

I do think you're extraordinary.

No strings.

I knew that what we have together is

by every moral standard wrong,

and yet I find I can never give you up.

You say that you're worried that there's

not enough that you can give me,

but I'm not asking for very much.

Just this, to be with you sometimes.

- Thought I lost track of time.

Are you early?

How you doin'?

- I'm fine. - You look fine.

- Their rinsing.

Andy's gonna watch 'em.

I told 'em no drum drying and archival processing

like you said. - Right.

I'll take lunch now if that's okay?

Please, Jake MacLenna, this is Anna Winter.

- Not the KLAS Anna Winter? - Yes.

No kidding, we listen to you all the time around here.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, tell Craig I wanna see him before ya go.

I wanna move that truck. - Move the truck?

But don't you you me to? - No.

- Oh, right.

It's nice meeting you. - Nice to meet you, too.

Bye-bye.

- My office is upstairs.

Why don't you go up there and wait.

I'll be up in a minute. - Okay.

Need you to move that other light up there

a little bit higher. - This one here?

Oh, okay. - Yeah, further.

A little bit more in the corner.

- Okay? - Okay, good.

- Okay. - Do we have to move

this stuff here? - There ya go.

- Yeah, yeah. - Jake, do me a favor.

- Yeah? - Put that away.

All right.

- They're gone.

- You're good. - Oh, ancient history.

Look, why don't you start on these.

I'm gonna go downstairs and set up the lights.

I wanna photograph you.

Please, but look what I'm wearing.

- Take off your shoes.

Just relax and sit down.

Right there, that's good.

Relax.

I saw that picture of you upstairs.

You had long hair. - 1971.

I was a lot younger.

How old were you then?

- Eleven.

- Wow.

- You were very handsome.

I'm sure you were adorable, too.

Now, let me look at you.

You still are.

I don't wanna be forward but.

So you're 22? - Mm-hmm.

- I'm 40. - I know.

I wanna be honest, I can't offer you much.

- I'm not asking for very much.

Just this.

- This?

- To be with you sometimes.

- Oh.

You were 11, huh?

- Yeah. - Hello, KLAS.

Thanks very much.

We appreciate it.

- Okay, two more lines open.

We got eight all ready lit.

Let's match that $100 pledge.

Come on, if you enjoy our programming,

remember, we depend completely on your contributions.

We're looking $40,000 worth of

desperately needed new equipment.

If you call now with a donation of $25 or more,

you're entitled to one free year-

I can't think with that damn radio on.

In addition, our programming guide

will be sent to you- - I don't know

what the hell they're talkin' about.

Please remember that public radio,

like public TV, needs your support.

Come on, one more light,

and we'll go to an uninterrupted hour

of Call It Culture with Eva Boudelier.

I mean, you should see our control board, here.

It's literally held together with spit and gum.

Isn't it, Danny?

- Chewing gum is a major part

of our operational budget here, absolutely.

Hey, okay, we got to 10. - Line three.

Good afternoon, this is Eva Boudelier

with Call It Culture. - I guess I'll take

this one right here.

- Today, my guest will be- - Just bring down

the highlight a little bit in the printing.

Jake, would you make a note of this?

I gotta run.

I have to go.

- No. - Yeah.

I never knew it could be like this.

Nobody ever kissed me the way you do.

- Nobody?

- No, nobody.

- Look, I don't wanna go home.

Let's do somethin', okay? - What ya wanna do?

- I want pinball.

- It's too juvenile. - Well, the arcade.

- It's too expensive and you- - I'm not goin' to a bar.

Where we're gonna get hit, I don't wanna deal with it.

- You wanna break? - Yeah.

I shake 'em better than you do.

Solids.

I don't know why I set myself up for this punishment.

- Bull excuse me.

Shit.

So you haven't told me anything yet.

- About what?

- You know what.

- Ooh, whoa. - That's all right.

That's all right. - All right.

I'm gonna run the table on you, actually.

Can I have a beer?

- Is he a good lay?

- Thanks a lot. - You are welcome.

I have some wonderful opportunities

on this end of the table.

- As a matter of fact, he is.

Makes up for the fact he's married, right?

- No, it doesn't make up for it.

It's complicated.

- He makes you feel?

- He makes me feel.

Fucked?

Look, Anna, the thing that ya have to keep in mind

about these kinda relationships

is that if you don't feel something for the guy,

you're gonna get out.

And if ya do start feelin' somethin', you are fucked.

- I know.

Believe me, I know.

If he's so great, what if you fall in love with him?

That's all I'm asking.

- I guess I'm in big trouble.

Is this what is known as psyching out your opponent?

Anna, the thing you have to remember

is that this guy sleeps with someone else every night.

The next time we are together,

we must talk some about your other life,

the life in which I have no part.

We must talk about your husband and child,

Chuck and little Anna.

Help me to picture them as people,

to make them real for they are real

and I must face that fact.

Not so fast, come here.

- Oh, Ben. - Come here.

- What is it?

Ya see those two?

They live out back.

You know, it that beat-up place behind the alley?

- I love you. - He's a drug dealer.

A lotta people used to come and go out of his house.

You know, a lotta women.

So one night, I'm sleeping and I heard all these sirens,

and I got all scared and I ran out in the alley.

Cops were everywhere.

I thought they'd been busted.

So what happened?

- Turns out she shot him.

They put him in the hospital and took her to jail.

Next day, she came out on bail

and came over and borrowed my ironing board.

You are welcome.

- I know so little about you.

Do you have any pictures of your kids?

- Anna, are you all right?

- I'd like to see 'em.

It would help.

- That's Paul.

He's eight.

That's Emma.

Emma's two.

Does that make it easier?

- They're real now.

They're very beautiful

Wanna listen to some music?

I'll play you what I was playing

the day I met you at the radio station.

It's Chopin, Prelude 15.

Now, watch your step.

Up,

come on.

Well, you better brush that sand off.

It'd be sorta hard to explain.

- KLAS, may I help you? - Thank you very much.

- KLAS, how may I help you? - You have to get

their name and address.

And you have to make sure if they bank note

that you get it and the expiration date.

Your initials go there and then the time and date,

and then you have to ask the donor

if he or she is willing to let us credit the money here.

'Kay, goes there.

And that's it.

Pick it up.

Hey, Daddy. - Well, look at you.

What's this? - Some wine.

- Wine, my date brought wine?

Hey, this is a pretty classy deal here.

That it was impossible for anybody.

Ya sure there's nothing I can do?

What are ya kiddin' me?

You just sit right there; you're the guest of honor.

Surprised at your ol' man, huh?

Didn't know I could cook.

- I've had your steaks.

- Yeah.

Well, actually the rice is nothin'.

Everything these days comes in a plastic bag.

Put it in a pot, ya bring it to a boil.

Bingo, ya got it.

Of course, ya have to flip it every 15 minutes or so,

otherwise, it doesn't heat thoroughly.

Well, it doesn't heat evenly all the way through.

- Well, it looks good.

- Yeah?

Well, it's nothin' fancy.

It's not like your mother used to make,

but she was a real cook.

I'm doin' all right.

And I have a woman once a week to clean.

Older woman comes in.

Other than that, I pretty much take care of myself.

- I'm impressed. - Whoa!

I want to propose a toast.

To us.

It is good.

It's good.

And another thing about Orientals

is that they are born shopkeepers.

Hey, they are real businessmen.

And they're everywhere, look around.

You can't swing a cat without knockin' into one of 'em.

They're smart.

Okay, they recognized my abilities,

so they keep me on.

- I gotta go, Daddy. - Go, schmo.

Sit here and talk to me, please.

Look at you.

My little girl, a professional.

- I earn $225 a week.

- Hey, it's not the money.

You are a professional, that's the point.

And don't you forget it.

Your mother was very proud of that.

- I miss her.

- What's that?

- I said I miss her.

- Yeah, well, we all miss her.

She's a wonderful woman.

I was never good enough for her.

Not near good enough.

Hey, forget it.

It doesn't matter.

It's water under the bridge, isn't it?

We never talked like this before, did we?

I mean, just you and I sittin' and talkin'.

- No. - Well, we will.

It's important to me.

Your mother expected a lot, you know?

Hey, I'm not sayin' she didn't deserve it.

God knows she deserved it, I just...

It isn't a case of that.

- I gotta go, Daddy. - Wait a minute.

Ya got a boyfriend, Anna?

- Yes.

- He gonna marry ya?

- Maybe.

- Not in a hurry, huh?

That's good.

Your mother and I were in a hurry.

Of course, it's different times

and our little secret.

I know you married Mama 'cause she was pregnant, Daddy.

She told me.

- No.

I married her because I loved her.

And she was beautiful.

Like you.

Listen, don't be afraid of me, honey.

I know I'm not gonna be any problem to ya.

You can see that, I can take care.

Wait a second, sit down!

Where the hell are ya goin', now?

What did I do, did I touch ya?

Is that the problem?

- Leave me alone!

- Oh, God, you're like her.

You are so like her.

I'm gonna wash the dishes and then I'm gonna leave.

- I'm sorry, honey.

What do ya think about a man like me, huh?

- I think you should go to bed.

- Leave the goddamn dishes!

Go on!

Go on, you...

The most important thing in life is not a roll in the hay!

You understand me?

Hello?

Hello?

Who is this?

Hello?

- Wrong number.

It's beautiful.

- So are you.

Go get your coat. - Okay.

- She looks very nice.

I'm sorry.

I had to make her real, too.

My darling,

I'm home again and the memory of our last meeting

is fresh in my mind.

Nothing and no one can take from me what we found together.

Together, we're more than the sum of our parts.

Can I sacrifice this even in my own best interest?

Not if I love you as indeed I do love you.

Maggie, my own, forever.

Come on, Emma.

Can you get it, Emma?

Emma, here it comes.

Okay, I'm gonna try this.

Emma. - Mommy, I have to

throw the ball. - Oh, okay.

Okay, golly!

Okay.

- Hi, Anna Winter? - Yes.

Marcia Newell, KBFK San Francisco.

- Hi. - I was expecting someone

a little older.

So what do you think about it?

Yeah, I think it's a great opportunity.

I think you're right.

You know it's funny, KBFK used to be my dream station.

- It's a good station.

- It's a great station.

We have 10 times the audience of KLAS;

10 times, maybe 20 times the subscribers.

There's a real future for you.

- I know.

- You wanna talk about it?

San Francisco's a long way away.

I mean, it's 400 miles, right?

It's an hour's flight, so what's the problem?

- It's sort of personal.

- I see.

Have you listened to Danny De Fronso?

I mean, he's so good.

- I've listened to Danny.

You're better.

Look, Anna, sometimes when an opportunity gets away,

they don't come again.

You're young, maybe it doesn't seem that way to you.

- No, it seems that way to me.

- Well, just think about it.

- Okay, thanks.

I'm sick of my life

with its intolerable contradictions.

My mind keeps warning me that love, even as we know it,

must be lived in the everyday world of

Chevrolets and toothaches and lost chances.

Stay very still.

We can do better, I think it's too hot.

That's your fault.

I doubt that.

Okay, look down here.

Probably too much movement.

Shift your body.

No, too much tit.

Good, good, good!

That's good, okay.

That's enough.

Just let me see this one; 10, 11, 12, okay.

Are we finished?

Just one more.

Look up here.

You look so sad.

What is it?

Take off your wedding ring.

Just for an hour.

- I'm sorry.

Morgan!

Morgan. - How ya doin'?

- Good.

Anna, I'd like ya to meet Morgan Crawford,

famous American artist.

Morgan, this is Anna Winters, famous American DJ.

How charming, hmm.

So how was Amsterdam?

- Wonderful.

In the winter, it doesn't smell.

Good.

- Hmm, not properly chilled.

- Don't you pick on her.

I'll be right back.

- He seemed very happy.

You're responsible for that, aren't you?

- I don't know, am I?

No doubt, you'll be good for his work, as well.

Contradiction and irony are two different things.

Look, you're just trying to change the subject

because you know I'm right and, of course,

irony and contradiction are two different things.

What's the difference then?

Contradiction is a statement of fact

and irony is a way of dealing with the fact.

Contradiction is objective irony subject.

What would you say the difference

between contradiction and irony is, Anna?

I don't know, I'd probably have to

look it up in the dictionary.

- Doesn't know the game.

Anna, the point is to figure it out.

Not to look it up in a dictionary.

You know, conversation.

- Irony has humor in it.

- No, no, no, no.

Contradiction might be funny, but irony never.

- Never, no.

Irony is deadly serious.

I have it.

If contradiction is weather,

then irony is umbrellas.

- Very good!

But not quite.

Irony is stealing the umbrellas.

Oh.

Oh, by the way, I have something here

that belongs to Edith.

Would you mind returning this for me?

I'd do it myself, but I'm flying off to Munich tomorrow.

That first essay is a straight ripoff of Walter Benjamin's

Works of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction,

but the essay on nudes is terrific.

You've read what he has to say

about photography, haven't you?

It's fascinating.

It completely refutes Sontag.

- You know what he told me?

He said I was good for you.

- He was jealous as hell.

He was green.

Jesus, get down!

Okay, get up.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Those people work with Edith.

Goddamn it!

- Come on. - No, wait, wait, wait.

Let's go in the living room and sit for a minute.

You never wanted to sit in there before.

- Well, I do tonight.

I got plenty of time.

Edith is at a lecture until 11 o'clock-

I don't wanna know where she is.

Okay, but I just wanna go in the living room.

Sit.

Talk.

- Okay.

They had a hell of a time getting it in here.

Try it.

I've never heard you play.

I'm not very good.

Emma, Emma honey, wait for me.

Can I go up there?

I wanna ride the blue horse.

Oh, here we go.

I wanna pretend to be in the air.

Higher, Mommy.

Higher, Mommy. - You ridin' with a saddles.

Higher, Mommy.

That's not a test.

- Oh, I'm tellin' ya.

San Francisco is totally amazing.

It's a very, very exciting city.

Well, I'm sort of semi-managing this group.

You're gonna hear from them.

They're called Little Claw.

Modernistic with classical overtones, you know?

It's great to see ya back though.

- Hey, thank you.

It's great to be back.

God, you all look incredible.

Nothing's changed around here.

You still have the same crummy ol' coffee.

Hey!

- Hey.

You look great.

- You do. - What was it called, the?

- I got a show.

I'll see ya later, okay?

Look, why don't we check this guy out

just to convince us all.

Well, look at the schedule.

I think that if we.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hmm.

- I know.

- You look tired.

- Partied all night.

- So how's it goin'?

It's okay, it's about the same.

I heard there've been some big cutbacks here.

They cut your hours?

- I'm fine.

So how's it going with you up there?

- Forget it, incredible.

Incredible, the people in San Francisco are so wonderful.

Not only that, they're totally open to my kinda programming

and your kinda programming.

- Great.

And I think you oughta come up and check it out.

- I will.

- Not only that, but truly,

the real reason that I came here

was because I wanted to say thank you

'cause I know what you did.

- I didn't do anything.

You got it on your own, you know that.

- Yeah, right.

Well, anyway- - Anyway.

What do you wanna hear for the ride home?

- Oh, right.

Little Richard.

- This is Obsessions in Music.

So what, it's gotta be classical?

Hey!

- I guess I could get obsessed

with a little Richard for once.

- Anna.

You're the greatest.

- Bye.

No, Ben!

I've got no place to go!

What the fuck?

About the drugs?

I'm tired of you lookin' into my life!

Leave me alone! - Please don't, Ben.

You've been fuckin' up around here.

I don't need you anymore!

Ben, Ben!

No, let me back in, Ben!

Stop!

Ben!

Shut up and get the hell out of here!

- Ben, let me in!

Ben!

Ben, let me in!

Ben! - You got no money, huh?

You got no money?

You want money!

You want money!

Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!

Go ahead, pick it up!

Pick it all up! - Ben, I love you!

- Get the fuck outta here!

Make it on your own! - I love you!

I love you!

I love you, Ben.

I love you, Ben!

- Hello?

It's me.

- Are you calling from home?

I had to.

Listen, I know I said I'd be by this morning, but I.

- You can't?

No.

- I see. - It's not my fault.

I can't talk now.

Are you all right?

- What difference does it make?

Just for five minutes, okay?

I'll be there in a half an hour.

I won't come if you're gonna be angry.

- I won't.

Please come.

I miss you.

Hi.

I missed you.

Yeah, me, too.

- Come on. - Anna, I...

Anna, please, darling.

I've been missing you.

I don't have time for this.

- We can hurry.

Anna, I don't have time to.

No, sweetheart.

Anna, no.

- Anna, no.

God, Anna.

No.

- Why not?

- Oh, god.

Anna, I just made love with my wife.

Anna.

Anna, this is crazy.

Would you please open the door?

Anna!

Anna, open the door.

Anna, Anna!

Sweetheart.

Forgive me, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

It's all right, it's all right.

We've got a whole history together, Anna.

I spent 15 years of my life with her.

That's almost half my life.

Hasn't always been great but

I got two kids I love very much.

She's a very decent,

kind,

loving-

Do you want me to tell ya 'bout my boyfriends

and about how good and decent and loving

and good in bed they were?

- I'm sure they were.

- They weren't.

There's never been anybody.

Why couldn't you just lie to me?

Why couldn't you just lie and say,

Anna, I don't love her.

Would it be so hard?

- It's not fair, is it?

- I think you should leave.

It's just not easy anymore.

Do you really think it's any easier for me?

- I'm second best.

It's not the way I want it, it's the way you want it.

You wrote the rules.

Anna, I'm afraid it's just a little bit

more complicated than that.

You and I don't have any children together.

It has nothing to do with children!

It has to do with her!

You want all of her and just a little bit of me!

You want me to leave my family.

No, I want you to want to leave them.

I want you to want to leave her because ya hate her guts

and 'cause you love me.

I want you to want me.

At any cost, I'll take guilt.

I'll take anything.

I just want you to want me.

- Come here.

- No.

- Come here. - No.

- Say it. - No!

I hate you. - You don't hate me.

Say it.

Say it. - No.

Not unless you think I'm the smartest

and most beautiful and sexiest girl you ever saw.

- You are the sexiest.

You are the most beautiful.

Say it. - No!

- Say it! - No!

- Say it. - No.

- Say it. - No.

Say it.

- I love you.

I love you.

I am sick

of my life.

And it's intolerable contradictions.

My mind keeps warning me that love,

even as we know it.

- Must be lived

in the everyday world

of Chevrolets

and toothaches

and lost chances.

I am torn and harried by your absence.

Driven by the loneliness without you

and continually burned by the physical need of you.

I can no longer bear to keep seeing you

if there's no way that you'll ever be mine.

I want you now for my own and forever.

Sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing.

Be mine, darling.

Be brave.

I love you.

It's amazing how much.

- Hey, Anna!

Hey, kiddo.

What ya doin'?

- You know Chesley?

Joseph Chesley?

He made a terrible mistake.

- Yeah, right, who's Chesley?

- He wrote the letters.

- Yeah.

No, you know, I kinda forgot about him.

- You know, my mother was weak?

You know, she couldn't take care of her own life.

He had to and he didn't.

He had to force her.

They were so much in love.

You know?

It's so rare.

See, he thought he was saving three lives,

but he didn't.

He ruined three lives.

He ruined his and my mother's-

- And your father's.

- Yeah, his too.

Sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing though.

Isn't it? - Oh, Anna, I don't know.

- He had to make her see.

He had to take her. - Look, Anna.

I don't know what difference this makes, all right?

- It makes all the difference.

You don't understand, do you?

- I don't know.

Yeah, okay, maybe.

He wrote such beautiful letters.

Just beautiful letters.

I wish I knew him.

You know, just to know him.

I mean, they were just beautiful.

Don't ya think so?

Anna, I think I'm getting really worried about you.

- Don't be worried about me.

I'm okay.

I'm great.

I know what to do.

I finally know what to do.

Come on, let's go to bed.

Mom, I haven't finished this yet.

You can finish it tomorrow, okay?

- Okay. - Gimme a kiss.

Goodnight, Dad.

I love you.

Bed now.

Guess who wants to do the elevator one more time.

I can't guess.

Here we go, first floor.

There's the second floor,

to the third,

and fourth floor.

Ready, oh, goin' down!

To the basement.

- Come up soon, okay?

Darling, why don't you take her up to bed.

- Okay.

You'll come up soon? - Yeah.

- Come on, hun, let's go to bed.

Say nite-nite.

Nite-nite.

Anna!

Anna!

- Let go of me! - Wait, Anna.

- Leave me alone.

Get your goddamn hands off me!

I said let go of me! - What is the matter with you?

Have you gone crazy? - Maybe I should talk to

your wife. - Anna, now, I'm begin' you-

Maybe she'd like to know what the fuck you been doin'!

Please don't!

Maybe she'd like to know where you been at night?

- What's Daddy doing?

- What do you think I am? - Please.

- A fuck machine? - No, I don't, Anna.

- Turn me on, turn me off! - Anna!

My letter, you didn't even answer my letter.

I did, too; I've been thinking about it.

That's all. - Oh, bullshit.

- No, it frightened me.

You frightened me; it didn't even sound like you.

Anna, why are you doing this to me?

I have always been honest with you.

Anna!

Oh, my god.

Anna?

Anna?

Paul.

Come here.

Shh.

Did ya call the doctor?

What did he say?

He says he's on his way.

Stop it, don't touch me.

Edith, please, for Christ.

Just answer me one question.

What is it that I do

that would make you wanna do this to me?

Edith, you didn't do a thing.

Please, look at me.

She's very young, isn't she?

You bastard.

I don't know what to say, Edith.

Honestly, I don't know what to say to you.

Do you love her?

It's possible, but I love you.

I'm never gonna be able to believe that again.

I really believed that you loved me.

And if not me, I knew you loved the children.

- Just give me a chance, Edith.

Give me.

- I can't believe it.

- I'm sorry.

Anna, Anna, wait.

Look, you can't drive home alone like this.

I'm fine.

- Anna, please listen.

Wait! - I said I'm fine!

- Please, listen to me!

I got to tell ya something!

I don't want it to end like this.

I just can't walk out on 'em.

I have to hurt the fewest people.

Do you understand me?

- You love her.

- Yes, of course, I love her.

I always have, I love you, too.

- I don't think ya did.

- Anna, you're very young.

You're very special.

You can do a hell of a lot better than me,

a hell of a lot.

- Will I really? - Yeah.

Anna, if there is one thing I've learned in life

it's that everything passes, everything.

It's gonna be all right.

Just tell me it's gonna be all right.

Please, Anna.

Say it's gonna be all right.

- Goodbye.

Don't touch me.

Goddamn it, you!

You're drunk, leave me alone!

Don't touch me.

If you don't care about me, think about Anna!

Did I touch ya, is that the problem?

I'll never touch you again! - Get off, I'm leaving!

No, you're not.

You're not going anywhere! - If you don't care about me,

think about Anna.

Please, she's your daughter!

Just leave me alone! - What did I do?

Did I touch ya, is that the problem?

I'll never touch ya again!

Don't you move!

- Anna.

- You're so like her.

- Excuse me.

Did you leave the flowers?

The gardenias?

- You're Anna.

I woulda known ya anywhere.

You look just like her.

- When did you see her last?

- Oh,

five years ago,

just for a few hours.

And before that, another 10 years.

- That's a long time.

- Yes, a long time.

- Should've been together.

- Worst mistake.

She was my chance.

I lost her.

- I have something of yours.

She gave it to me but I think you should have it.

- Kept it all these years.

Here.

- Damn it.

It really is embarrassing.

She was the love of my life, ya see?

You understand.

Maybe you've been loved the way we were.

- No.

Not like that.

Not like you.

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