Original subtitles

My friends (echoing).

I want to thank you for joining me today.

And we'll start the session, uh, with the truth.

What is the truth?

When we look in the mirror, what do you see?

You do not see the truth.

You see eyebrows, you see eyes, you see lips

and you see lines.

But that's not what I see.

No my friends, I see a universe.

An untapped uncharted universe in front of me.

So today, as you look in the mirror,

will you be a snowcap snowcap?

Or will you be a mountain?

My friends, I believe,

you are a mountain.

I'm a mountain.

Here's the thing,

your, your budget doesn't really allow

for this many more revisions.

So I just don't.

Yeah. I Read the contract.

Yeah. All I read all of it Karen.

Mm hmm.

Right. So it's the, it's the button on the right.

Upper right hand corner.

Looks like an arrow, like a, like a download button.

Nope. Nope.

Nope. Okay. So you just closed your browser?

Yes. Happy to resend.

Okay. Bye.

Hi, my name's Jeanie.

I'll be a friend you can talk to today.

Hi. Um.

I, I've never really used a service before.

Always felt them a little odd to just ring a stranger

and ask for help.

Think of me more like a friend,

not a stranger.

Someone who you can confide in

Like someone I meet at a bar?

Something like that.

So tell me, what's your reason for calling today?

It's, it's been a while.

A while for what?

Everything.

Okay.

So I'm assuming you haven't explored

any relationships in some time.

They don't really end well

Tell me about the last one.

Uh, we met online.

Um...

he was so brilliant and so smart.

And um...

for all intents and purposes, he was perfect for me.

Um, but,

he had to go away,

because...

uh, just some stuff I have to work out.

What kind of stuff?

My mind goes, places.

I don't know if I'm safe.

Do you think you would

ever harm yourself or others?

Hello?

Okay, fine.

Fine.

Don't, fuck off.

Okay, fine.

Hello?

Hello?

Ethan.

Wha, What?

Oh, sorry.

Um, I was just asking if you could turn that off

for a second?

I think we need to talk.

Do you even realize

what's about to happen to you right now?

I have an idea, yeah.

What the fuck?

Ha.

Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me.

Oh my God, you're British.

That's so cool.

Do you like the Beatles?

We don't love the Beatles.

My favorite's John.

So what do we do now?

Should I, should I take my coat off?

No, sh-

- Hold this. - Okay.

Do, should I come up?

Did you want me to come up or should I, you know,

it's, that's fi-, you know, I'm just gonna come up.

Um, I'll just come up.

Wait, drugged.

So Ethan, what's your real name?

Polly. Yours?

Celeste

Sounds expensive.

Oh, no it's not my real name.

What's your real name?

Divine Star Child.

I was raised in a cult.

Tellers of the message of wisdom

and shadow faith of the daily word.

Of eternal truth.

That explains a lot.

So, how'd you get into,

you know?

What is that?

No!

Yes, yes, yes.

Crucifix (chuckles).

Boarding school.

Ah, that's so British.

Do you remember the West Hills murders?

Wait, don't tell me that was you.

No way, but wait, the press said that was a guy.

Yeah. Makes my life easier.

How did you get the guy's foot sewn into his intestines?

Couple of online sewing courses.

You're amazing.

Celeste. Why are you here?

Oh, I was gonna torture and dismember Ethan.

Now that that's not gonna happen,

what are we gonna do about this?

I don't know.

I think you're really cool.

And you have an accent, which is awesome.

And, was that a smoke machine downstairs?

Mm hm.

Um, look, I, I haven't been having the best time lately.

I've been having, it's just been kind of sad.

And, and I don't know if you can tell,

but I don't really fit in that well with people.

And then I come here and like, you're so cool.

And you have this whole setup

and you're so good at what you do.

And I'm like, I wanna be like that.

I think I could be like that.

And...

I just think, um,

I think it sucks being alone.

And I think that,

I think that maybe we could be friends.

Vintage Remington, 1989, bullet trapper

with Cocobolo wood handle and stainless steel blade.

That's really impressive.

Thanks. I used it to kill my first chicken.

Uhhh, Okay, okay, okay.

You're a nurse.

Sex worker.

Lady Bluebeard.

You killed your family.

Nannie Doss! Yeah!

No, no, no!

Chloroform.

Arsenic.

Ah, lavender. I love lavender

It's so relaxing, isn't it?

See.

There's a major issue.

What?

The scream.

They never get it, right?

Oh.

Yeah, I guess I never really thought about it before,

but now that you mention it,

yeah it's kind of always wrong.

Best scream you ever got?

Go.

Okay.

Ready?

Oh God no, I have kids!

See, that's a scream.

Thank you.

Do you wanna here mine?

Oh my God, yeah.

What's it from?

Cherry blossom murders, 2005.

God you're prolific.

Take a seat.

Wow.

Hey, I was just working on my car

and I heard some screams.

Everything okay?

Celeste. You're needed.

This dating thing

in the 21st century is just too easy.

Here's what you do.

Go on a website.

Find a hot picture of a girl you like.

Hit her up,

and then hook up.

Easy as that.

Now my latest potential companion

for the night seems a little shy.

But I'm sure I can pull out the old charm

and end up in her bed later.

I'll update everyone in the morning, as always.

Adios nerds.

Mike?

Mm. Hey. Abby. What's going on?

How are you?

Oh

I'm so sorry.

I'm, I, I'm always bad at reading people,

if they prefer uh,

handshakes or hugs.

No, it's... that's okay.

I'm a hugger for, for future reference.

Good to know.

You look amazing by the way.

Mm. Thank you.

Uh, feel totally underdressed.

Did you um,

did you know this was a coffee shop?

I do now.

And um, I...obviously don't get out much.

Ever. - No, you look great.

You do.

And this whole like online dating thing is kind of new

for me too.

You're actually the first person

that I'm officially meeting with, so.

Really?

Yeah.

Hmm.

It's exciting.

I think they're uh, I think they're packing up shop here.

It's too bad it's, it's Sunday.

Otherwise I'd say let's grab a drink or something

but, you know, - Hm.

Maybe uh, next time, I guess.

If you wanted to come back to my place tonight,

we could do that too.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

I, I have drinks and it's quiet there.

Cool.

I like quiet. - Yeah?

Well, this is it.

Yeah.

I like it.

It's got this kind of old school Victorian vibe, you know.

Oh!

You know it's, that's right.

Oh!

How 'bout that?

Yeah?

Ah, yeah.

I'll get some drinks.

Ah, that's not really what I was thinking, but.

Yeah, alright.

Not my first choice, but.

- To our first date.

Yeah.

Mm, what is that?

You don't like it?

No, no, it's good.

It's just.

That's strong.

That's...

Shit I...

Help!

Help me!

Help!

Hey!

Hey!

Hi.

Hi baby.

I am so glad- - What are you doing?

- That you are awake for this. - What are you doing?

- Yeah. Feel it? - No!

Yeah, it's to take the edge off okay?

Yeah, there we go.

Is that better?

Oh.

I'm sorry.

- Oh- - I'm sorry.

Oh, and so sweet.

Play a little game, okay? - No.

It's called find the sweet spot.

Feels so good doesn't it?

Check on that just a little bit, okay?

You just stay right here.

Okay.