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1
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,586
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:17,876 --> 00:00:19,143
Look at this, America.
3
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,053
It's Nessa's test scores.
4
00:00:21,129 --> 00:00:23,013
Seems so small, doesn't it?
5
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:26,275
But Bernie Mac had to work
long and hard for this.
6
00:00:26,351 --> 00:00:29,519
Tell 'em, Nessa,
how hard you made me
work for this.
7
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,897
Tell 'em.
Can we just
open it now?
8
00:00:31,973 --> 00:00:33,056
No, no. Come on.
9
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,733
America loves
my stories, Nessa.
10
00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,151
Go ahead
and tell 'em.
11
00:00:36,228 --> 00:00:37,903
Tell 'em what happened.
They'll love it.
12
00:00:37,979 --> 00:00:41,040
(sighs)
Okay, well, I had...
13
00:00:43,819 --> 00:00:45,335
I can't do this!
14
00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:49,864
(clears throat)
15
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,083
Well, I'll tell you, America,
16
00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:52,375
because y'all
don't change up on me
17
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,827
like some people around here.
18
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:59,591
Ooh, Nessa, watch
that pot for me
right quick, ok?
19
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,218
Oh, and tell your brother
to come in for dinner.
20
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,811
Thank you, sweetheart.
21
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:05,263
(indistinct voices)
22
00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,891
Hey, Jordan, come in.
It's dinnertime.
23
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,226
JORDAN (annoyed):
In a minute!
24
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:11,728
No, now, Jordan.
Uncle Bernie said so.
25
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,814
And I said
in a minute!
26
00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,199
(hoots and laughter)
27
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,192
Fine. Stay out there.
28
00:01:17,269 --> 00:01:19,119
I'll let Uncle Bernie
deal with you.
29
00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:20,987
Did you see that, America?
30
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:24,157
Basically, Jordan just
challenged her authority.
31
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:26,993
And as far as I was concerned,
at the time,
32
00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:28,653
that was Nessa's problem,
33
00:01:28,731 --> 00:01:32,132
along with the problems
she was having at her new job.
34
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,419
(clears throat)
35
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,506
I said nonfat double mocha
Grande cappuccino
36
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,017
with soy milk, extra cinnamon
and nutmeg on the side.
37
00:01:42,094 --> 00:01:44,636
Yes, ma'am.
I can taste the fat in it.
38
00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:47,472
Oh, well, look, somehow
39
00:01:47,549 --> 00:01:48,774
you picked up
the wrong cup.
40
00:01:50,051 --> 00:01:51,735
You gave me the wrong cup.
41
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,313
You're probably right.
42
00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:57,774
Please accept
a fat-free biscotti
43
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:01,286
and your properly
prepared drink
as an apology.
44
00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:14,541
Wow, so this is
your new laptop. Sweet.
45
00:02:14,618 --> 00:02:17,419
What are you doing?
(login sounds)
46
00:02:17,495 --> 00:02:18,795
I'm just going
to AOL.
47
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,847
They have a link
to Moviefone.
48
00:02:20,924 --> 00:02:23,383
I have to buy some tickets
and your computer
is way faster than mine.
49
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:26,511
I'm busy.
You won't even know
I'm here.
50
00:02:26,588 --> 00:02:27,804
Score!
51
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,264
How do I get
to Tarzana?
52
00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:30,774
Ah, MapQuest.
53
00:02:32,728 --> 00:02:33,443
Hey!
54
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,953
I almost
had my ticket!
55
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,397
Jordan, I'm busy.
Now go use
your own computer.
56
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:40,075
But I'm already here
and yours is faster.
57
00:02:40,152 --> 00:02:43,153
I said no. Good-bye.
58
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,413
Fine!
59
00:02:52,948 --> 00:02:55,841
Touch it and I will
hurt you.
60
00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:14,142
Did you see it, America?
61
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,936
Jordan gettin' physical.
62
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,395
I never thought
I'd see this day.
63
00:03:17,472 --> 00:03:19,606
You remember
when the lad first got here.
64
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:23,068
Pathetic. Some of y'all
even sent in money.
65
00:03:23,144 --> 00:03:24,953
America, just
take a look at him.
66
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,491
(chuckles)
Little bitty...
67
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,534
Hey, you talking about me?
68
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,912
Hey, hey, hey, take it easy.
69
00:03:33,989 --> 00:03:37,624
-BERNIE: I thought me and you
had an understanding.
-Sorry.
70
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,551
Yeah.
71
00:03:41,213 --> 00:03:44,223
That attitude right there,
it's my own fault.
72
00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:47,884
America, let me show you
how it all got started.
73
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,386
Weights?
74
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,355
Yeah, you got
to be ready.
75
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,639
It won't be long
before your sister
76
00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:54,391
come hunting for you
for revenge.
77
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,685
Women don't play.
I know.
78
00:03:56,761 --> 00:03:58,687
I got two sisters
and a wife.
79
00:03:58,763 --> 00:04:01,022
You should have
seen her face
after I pushed her.
80
00:04:01,099 --> 00:04:03,033
Calm down.
Calm down.
81
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,542
I mean,
I was just trying
82
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,169
to hold myself back from
hurting her, Uncle Bernie.
83
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,738
(chuckles)
Well, if that's the case,
you won't need these.
84
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,115
You be fine, huh?
85
00:04:10,191 --> 00:04:11,875
I'll hold onto these.
86
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,576
I need an exercise regimen.
87
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,245
In case something
jump off.
88
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,631
(growls)
Tiger.
(growls)
89
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,889
Listen, word's going
to get around
90
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,540
about what I did
to Vanessa.
91
00:04:27,618 --> 00:04:30,176
But I just want you
to know that me and
you, we're cool.
92
00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:32,512
As long as you respect
the boundaries.
93
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,514
What are you talking about?
94
00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:38,443
Okay, however you want
to play it, little sister.
95
00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,622
(sighs)
96
00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:54,492
I don't see how
they can be this bad.
97
00:04:54,569 --> 00:04:56,202
I studied really hard.
98
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,496
I know, sweetie,
but you know what?
99
00:04:58,573 --> 00:05:01,541
These are the PSATs
and you can always
take these again.
100
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,543
This was my second time.
101
00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:06,805
I'm never going to
get into a good college
with these scores.
102
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:11,560
You see how the balance
is off now, America?
103
00:05:11,636 --> 00:05:13,553
The boy's talking like
he's tough,
104
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,347
and Nessa, who is tough,
105
00:05:15,423 --> 00:05:18,224
is letting these test scores
get the best of her.
106
00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:20,810
But my baby Wanda and I,
we're a team.
107
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,530
So she came through
with a solution.
108
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,026
It's an SAT prep course.
109
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:31,654
Yeah, they say they guarantee
better scores or our money back.
110
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,491
Honey, I didn't say
anything about the
money back.
111
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:35,751
Then it's not
a guarantee.
112
00:05:35,827 --> 00:05:37,535
(chuckles nervously)
You know what?
113
00:05:37,612 --> 00:05:39,454
If you're willing,
it's Thursday night.
114
00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:40,580
Of course
she's willing.
115
00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:41,965
Thursday at what time?
116
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,334
7:30.
Okay.
117
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,012
Hey, Baby Girl, Jordan,
come on. Dinnertime!
118
00:05:48,623 --> 00:05:51,725
-Come on.
-(gasps) Oh, my.
119
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,594
What the hell
is wrong with you?
120
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:57,305
What? Am I the only one
who's hot?
121
00:05:57,382 --> 00:05:59,349
-Uh, yeah.
-Boy, get in there
122
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,393
and put a shirt on
for dinnertime.
123
00:06:01,469 --> 00:06:03,695
Don't be afraid
of the cuts, Uncle Bernie.
124
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,315
What!
125
00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:10,535
(indistinct chatter)
126
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,573
Vanessa! There's
an extra shift on Thursday.
127
00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:17,700
Would you like
to cover it?
This Thursday?
128
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,036
Yeah. It's cool
if you're busy.
129
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,371
Well...
130
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,507
What am I thinking?
I can use the money.
131
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,457
Of course I'll take it.
132
00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:26,126
Thanks, Vanessa.
133
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:27,502
You are
a really good worker.
134
00:06:27,579 --> 00:06:29,712
No, thank you.
I just do my best.
135
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,840
Mmm. Coffee--
I love it!
136
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:34,943
(scoffs)
Coffee.
137
00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:41,224
(door shuts)
138
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,768
Hey, Nessa.
Hey, Nessa,
how'd it go?
139
00:06:43,845 --> 00:06:45,728
Honey, she didn't get
her results yet. Come on.
140
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,647
That's cool, baby,
but she know how
it felt, though.
141
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,898
How'd it feel?
142
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,317
I didn't go.
What?
143
00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,778
-Call the police.
-Honey, why didn't you go?
144
00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:57,282
Nigel offered me
some overtime at work,
145
00:06:57,358 --> 00:06:59,159
so I decided
to take a chance
146
00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:00,994
to make some
extra money.
147
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:03,788
But now I won't
bother you guys
when I need something.
148
00:07:03,865 --> 00:07:07,083
It's not a bother.
We want you to take
the SAT prep course
149
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,553
-so that you can--
-So there'll be no more
extra shifts.
150
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,806
Okay, okay, no more
extra shifts.
151
00:07:12,883 --> 00:07:14,349
Thank you.
152
00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:23,183
Weights are cool,
but this is
a full body burn.
153
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:25,643
I'm getting my lats
and my traps tight.
154
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,189
This little baby
is my latest addition.
155
00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:30,523
Well, I'm proud of you,
Jordan.
156
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,400
I'm up to ten
chin-ups, Uncle Bernie.
157
00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:34,027
How many can you do?
158
00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:35,954
20, maybe 30.
159
00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:38,114
No way. Let me see.
160
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,158
(dubious music playing)
161
00:07:40,235 --> 00:07:43,161
(grunting)
162
00:07:43,238 --> 00:07:45,079
Ten! Phew!
163
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,915
I counted eight.
164
00:07:46,991 --> 00:07:49,134
Go do your homework.
165
00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:50,594
You see that, America?
166
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,545
The boy's smelling himself
a little.
167
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:55,965
Plus, I had some pancakes
and I was worried about Nessa.
168
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,468
I didn't know
what was going on
with the girl.
169
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,386
You saw the worry on my face.
170
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:04,265
So just turn it
a little and then...
171
00:08:04,342 --> 00:08:05,683
What's going on,
girls?
172
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,852
Oh, Vanessa's
just helping me out.
173
00:08:07,929 --> 00:08:09,562
She's awesome.
174
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:12,065
Yeah. Vanessa,
can I talk to you
for a moment?
175
00:08:12,141 --> 00:08:13,492
Sure.
176
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,236
What's up, Nigel?
177
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,696
I've been talking
to corporate about you.
178
00:08:18,773 --> 00:08:19,948
Corporate?
179
00:08:20,024 --> 00:08:21,533
Remember Rodney
from the Beverly Center?
180
00:08:21,609 --> 00:08:23,576
He just got bumped
to Regional Manager.
181
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:27,872
I'm trying to get over there
and give you this store.
182
00:08:27,949 --> 00:08:31,334
But what about Dina?
She has seniority.
183
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:32,961
But you've got the stuff!
184
00:08:33,037 --> 00:08:35,797
And I'm talking $450
a week-- cha-cha!
185
00:08:35,873 --> 00:08:38,466
So you want your name
put in the hopper or what?
How about it?
186
00:08:38,543 --> 00:08:41,645
Yeah, sure. Thanks, Nigel.
187
00:08:43,381 --> 00:08:44,922
(laughs)
188
00:08:48,553 --> 00:08:50,403
(taps on table)
Uh, Jordan?
189
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,405
That's a pretty big
piece of chicken.
190
00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:53,940
Yeah, well,
I'm a growing boy.
191
00:08:54,017 --> 00:08:55,650
I mean, I need to keep
my protein up.
192
00:08:55,727 --> 00:08:57,652
Gotta feed
the muscles.
193
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,654
Okay, I understand that,
but you know
194
00:08:59,731 --> 00:09:01,665
we usually save the big piece
for your Uncle Bernie.
195
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,658
Yeah, well, he's getting
pretty old.
196
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,494
I don't even think
he could digest
all this meat.
197
00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:09,789
Uh--
Mmm-mmm, it smell good
up in here.
198
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,083
You outdid it, baby. Muah!
199
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,178
And my favorite,
fried chicken.
200
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:18,974
(instrumental:
"The Birdie Song")
201
00:09:38,728 --> 00:09:40,320
You see that look, America?
202
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:41,687
I mean, the boy acting like
203
00:09:41,765 --> 00:09:43,615
he was just going
to do something to me.
204
00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:46,960
He must have just clean lost
his doggone mind.
205
00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:49,662
Boy, tell the people
where your mind went
206
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:51,214
right then and there.
207
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,966
Uh,
I was just hungry.
208
00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:54,500
Okay, "just hungry."
209
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:57,503
"Just hungry" almost
got you "just hurt."
210
00:09:57,580 --> 00:10:00,006
Maybe I was thinking
about our game.
211
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,549
What game?
212
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:03,217
(snickers)
213
00:10:03,294 --> 00:10:04,636
All right, big man,
214
00:10:04,712 --> 00:10:06,471
so you can do
ten pull-ups, huh?
215
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:09,474
All right,
show me what you got.
216
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,434
Okay.
Come on, come on, come on!
217
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,861
(back cracks)
Oh! Oh! Oh!
218
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:16,615
Best two out of three?
219
00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:22,320
(funky music playing)
220
00:10:22,397 --> 00:10:23,905
What?
221
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,541
I'm just telling
America the story.
222
00:10:33,074 --> 00:10:34,624
25!
Exactly.
223
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,001
(phone ringing)
Write that down.
You knew that.
224
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,711
-Hello?
-PSAT LADY (on phone):Mrs. Mac?
225
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,346
This is Wanda Mac.
226
00:10:40,423 --> 00:10:41,923
Is Vanessa droppingthe test-prep course?
227
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,175
Oh, no. It must
be some mistake.
228
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,052
I knew that she
missed the first class,
229
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,887
but I thought
she was going
to take a make-up.
230
00:10:47,964 --> 00:10:49,555
Well, the make-up daywas tonight.
231
00:10:49,632 --> 00:10:53,393
Oh. Okay. Well, did
she come at all?
232
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,478
-No, she didn't.
-No?
233
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,230
Would you liketo reschedule, ma'am?
234
00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:58,564
Let me talk
to my husband,
235
00:10:58,641 --> 00:10:59,982
and I'll call
you back, okay?
236
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:02,902
-Thanks for calling.
-Ok, bye.
237
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:05,321
What's wrong,
Aunt Wanda?
238
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,248
We might have to
bury your sister.
239
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,577
She was right, America.
240
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,663
'Cause I was ready
to kill somebody!
241
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,249
Can you see this little vein?
Can you see it?
242
00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:18,084
Is the vein popping?
243
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,920
Just thinking about it still
makes me want to kill somebody!
244
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:23,264
I'll kill you dead. Kill you!
245
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,926
I can't believe you,
Nessa.
(upbeat music playing
over headphones)
246
00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,311
Nessa, you...
247
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,930
Give me that.
248
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:33,182
What the heck is wrong with you?
You're out there lying.
249
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,976
Got me and your aunt
worried to death,
250
00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:37,019
thinking you're someplace
that you're not.
251
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,271
You should be happy.
252
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:39,897
I'm supporting myself.
253
00:11:39,974 --> 00:11:42,275
And, if I keep it up,
I'll be making $450 a week.
254
00:11:42,351 --> 00:11:44,569
Girl, I know you got
better sense than that.
255
00:11:44,645 --> 00:11:46,988
Plus, I already done told you
what's going to make me happy,
256
00:11:47,064 --> 00:11:48,823
and that's you
getting better grades,
257
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,075
and you getting accepted
into a good college.
258
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,119
But what about
what makes me happy?
259
00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:54,587
What about it?
260
00:11:54,664 --> 00:11:56,372
You got plenty of time
to think about that.
261
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,708
But, meanwhile, while you
living in this house,
262
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,760
it's about
what makes me happy.
263
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:04,380
Yeah, well, when
I get my promotion,
264
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,798
I'm moving out
of your house,
265
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:07,633
'cause I'm not
going to college.
266
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:08,760
What?
267
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:11,146
(old Western
dueling music playing)
268
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,643
(rattlesnake)
269
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,645
You heard her. Huh!
270
00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:21,814
She went from lying
to being too honest.
271
00:12:21,891 --> 00:12:24,817
America, Bernie Mac's head
is spinning right now,
272
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:27,737
but hold on a sec,
because the story gets better.
273
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,989
Let me call her in here,
'cause I still want to know
274
00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:31,657
what she was thinking
right then.
275
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:34,076
Yo, Nessa!
VANESSA:
What?
276
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:36,621
It's time now. I'm going to
open up your score
277
00:12:36,697 --> 00:12:39,841
to show America
what's going on,
what you got.
278
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,502
Okay, let's see them.
279
00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:44,378
All right. But
before I do that
280
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,755
America and I
still want to know
281
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,381
what was going on
in your mind
282
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,926
that day you told me
that you was going
to move out
283
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,895
and you not
going to college?
284
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,272
I mean, I'm
still in shock.
285
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:56,432
Help us all out.
286
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:57,984
(sighs)
287
00:13:00,772 --> 00:13:03,698
Y'all keep watching,
you hear?
288
00:13:10,147 --> 00:13:11,623
(Bernie chuckling)
289
00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:18,079
(still chuckling)
290
00:13:18,155 --> 00:13:21,090
Hold on one minute.
I want to give you
something, Nessa.
291
00:13:22,493 --> 00:13:23,668
What's this?
292
00:13:23,744 --> 00:13:24,919
Um, these are your bills.
293
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,838
What are you
talking about?
294
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:28,589
Well, Nessa,
I was figuring.
295
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,299
Since you're all
grown up now,
296
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,634
and you're making
lots of money,
297
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,427
you can start paying
part of your bills.
298
00:13:33,504 --> 00:13:35,888
You know, get a taste
of the real world.
299
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,307
You know, carrying
your own weight,
so to speak.
300
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,236
You still got to pay
your own rent.
(laughs meanly)
301
00:13:41,312 --> 00:13:43,354
Now tell me you don't
want to go to college.
302
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,273
(laughs)
303
00:13:45,349 --> 00:13:46,941
You have a good one.
304
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:48,442
You're...
You're a good one.
305
00:13:48,519 --> 00:13:50,453
She's a good one.
306
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,779
(door closes)
307
00:13:51,856 --> 00:13:53,489
(continues laughing)
308
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:57,243
(Jean Knight:
"Mr. Big Stuff")
309
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,454
♪ Oh yeah ♪
310
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:04,968
♪ Oh, Mr. Big Stuff ♪
311
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,628
♪ Who do you think you are ♪
312
00:14:07,705 --> 00:14:09,973
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
313
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,600
♪ You're never gonnabreak my heart ♪
314
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:15,595
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
315
00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:17,805
♪ You're never gonnamake me cry ♪
316
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,233
♪ Mr. Big Stuff, tell me ♪
317
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:22,852
♪ Just who do youthink you are? ♪
318
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,864
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
319
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,399
♪ You're never gonnaget my love ♪
320
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,160
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
321
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:34,238
♪ You're never gonnabreak my heart,Mr. Big Stuff ♪
322
00:14:34,315 --> 00:14:37,491
BERNIE:
Hey, Jordan! Come on, man.
Time to come in!
323
00:14:37,568 --> 00:14:39,294
BOY: Perfect shot!
324
00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:41,579
JORDAN:
In a minute.
BOY: Cool!
325
00:14:41,656 --> 00:14:43,664
You heard him. Right, America?
326
00:14:43,741 --> 00:14:46,626
I mean, the boy lost
his rabbit-ass mind.
327
00:14:46,702 --> 00:14:48,002
"In a minute!"
328
00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:50,755
You heard him. "In a minute!"
329
00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:52,715
Y'all got to see this.
330
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,509
He going to square up
like straw.
331
00:14:55,586 --> 00:15:00,431
(exasperated chuckling)
332
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:02,516
(grunting and panting)
333
00:15:02,593 --> 00:15:05,853
Hey, Jordan, man! Didn't you
hear me tell you to come in?
334
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,022
I said I'm coming,
Uncle Bernie.
Just one more shot.
335
00:15:08,099 --> 00:15:10,358
BERNIE: No, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
Ain't no last shot.
336
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:13,194
No more shots.
When I say come in, come in.
337
00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:15,279
Now, put the ball down
and come in.
338
00:15:15,356 --> 00:15:17,916
(ball bounces)
339
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:21,035
Jordan, don't shoot that ball.
340
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,371
J, I'm telling you, dude,
don't shoot that ball.
341
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,247
I pity the fool.
342
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:27,884
Don't...
Run!
Let's get out of here!
343
00:15:29,203 --> 00:15:32,004
-Excuse me. Is this
the McCullough residence?
-Yeah.
344
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:33,681
Supposed to install
a new line and
a cable box.
345
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,758
Ain't no cable box here.
You got the wrong house.
346
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,386
Uh... no. There's
the address.
347
00:15:38,462 --> 00:15:39,637
Box is going
to be registered
348
00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:41,189
to Vanessa Tompkins.
349
00:15:41,265 --> 00:15:43,474
No, she ain't here, man.
Is she here?
350
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:46,644
So take your box and your order
and get back to your truck, man.
351
00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:48,071
Ain't nobody
getting no box
up in here!
352
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,814
And I'll deal with you later.
353
00:15:49,890 --> 00:15:51,407
Oh, you believe that.
354
00:15:55,613 --> 00:16:00,741
(woman singing ballad
indistinctly)
355
00:16:00,818 --> 00:16:04,203
Nessa. Get your stuff.
You're quitting.
What?
356
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,747
You quit. We're going home.
I ain't got time
to play with you.
357
00:16:06,824 --> 00:16:08,916
Let's go, now.
Excuse me, sir.
Can I help you?
358
00:16:08,993 --> 00:16:11,127
No, you cannot help me.
It has nothing
to do with you.
359
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,753
Taking my niece,
we're going home.
360
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:13,838
You'll have
to hire somebody else.
361
00:16:13,914 --> 00:16:15,423
You can't
make me quit.
362
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:16,924
No, I can't make you quit.
363
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:19,135
But I can report him
for hiring a minor
364
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,104
and letting her work overtime,
am I right?
365
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,555
'Cause that is
what you're doing.
Am I right?
366
00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:24,774
(chuckles)
Get your stuff.
367
00:16:25,843 --> 00:16:28,102
Come on.
You know, there's
no reason for this
368
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,812
to go beyond
the two of us.
369
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,605
If you'd like some
gift certificates,
370
00:16:31,682 --> 00:16:34,275
call me anytime.
371
00:16:34,351 --> 00:16:36,327
Yeah. Come on.
372
00:16:44,361 --> 00:16:47,621
So you made a little world
for yourself, huh, Nessa?
373
00:16:47,698 --> 00:16:49,966
(scoffs)
I paid for it,
so why not?
374
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,961
Girl, when you going
to stop being afraid?
375
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,671
I'm not afraid
of anything.
376
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,265
Oh, yes, you are.
377
00:16:57,341 --> 00:17:00,551
You just can't see it
like I can.
378
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:03,387
See, all this stuff here
is fear.
379
00:17:03,464 --> 00:17:04,972
See, you want
to surround yourself
380
00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:07,016
with all these pretty things
to take your mind off the fact
381
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,152
that you're not doing
what you need to be doing.
382
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:11,562
Well, what
about this house?
383
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,022
You have nice things.
384
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:15,316
Are you afraid
of something?
385
00:17:15,392 --> 00:17:17,026
Girl, I sure am.
386
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,579
See, I'm afraid
I might lose my patience
387
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:21,456
if you don't lose your tone.
388
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,168
Nessa, you just think
about what I just said.
389
00:17:26,737 --> 00:17:28,463
And you know I'm right.
390
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,115
You know I'm right.
391
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:36,596
That's real nice. Real nice.
392
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:48,107
Oh, this phone
is not people-friendly.
393
00:17:50,094 --> 00:17:51,852
Aunt Wanda?
Yeah?
394
00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:54,072
What's so great
about college?
395
00:17:55,733 --> 00:17:57,858
(clears throat)
396
00:17:57,935 --> 00:18:02,571
Well, sweetie, college
is what you make it.
397
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:07,076
You know, it's a time
to explore some things
that you could be,
398
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,620
and to discover some
things about yourself
you didn't know.
399
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:13,040
(scoffs) How long have you
been rehearsing
that answer?
400
00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:16,919
Since you skipped
the first prep class.
401
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,965
But, now that I've
said that out loud,
I can tell you the truth.
402
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:25,261
College is a place where
you can sharpen your mind,
403
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:28,055
and you can gain skills
that can make you, oh,
404
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,525
so unstoppable in this world.
405
00:18:31,969 --> 00:18:34,228
You're already
so smart.
406
00:18:34,305 --> 00:18:37,106
That sounds like
the first answer.
407
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:38,566
Yeah.
408
00:18:38,642 --> 00:18:40,342
But I mean it.
409
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,914
Yeah, well, Uncle Bernie thinks
I'm afraid of something.
410
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,576
Your uncle's a smart man,
411
00:18:48,652 --> 00:18:50,286
and he said some things
412
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:53,455
that felt real to you,
didn't he?
413
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,091
So you think
he's right?
414
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,668
Mm... yeah.
415
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,428
And so do you.
416
00:19:00,831 --> 00:19:02,882
Forgive me, America,
417
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:05,426
but when your wife
drops some pearls of wisdom,
418
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,053
and has your back
at the same time,
419
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:09,930
that's good loving.
420
00:19:10,007 --> 00:19:12,683
Bernie Mac is in a house
full of love.
421
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,695
(laughs)
Real love.
422
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,573
How you doing, J?
423
00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:21,442
(grunts)
Hold on.
424
00:19:21,518 --> 00:19:22,860
Got to get that burn.
425
00:19:22,937 --> 00:19:24,445
You remember,
don't you, Uncle Bernie?
426
00:19:24,521 --> 00:19:26,405
Shoot. Think I don't?
427
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,574
You know what
else I remember?
What?
428
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,910
Playing basketball,
baseball and football.
429
00:19:30,986 --> 00:19:32,861
I was really good
in those sports.
430
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,414
But what really was my sport
you know what that was?
What?
431
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:37,374
Boxing. Here.
432
00:19:37,451 --> 00:19:39,427
You know, J,
there come a time
433
00:19:39,503 --> 00:19:41,629
in a man's life
when he-- put them on.
434
00:19:41,705 --> 00:19:42,955
Go ahead,
put them on.
435
00:19:43,032 --> 00:19:44,098
When a man
want to pass down
what he knows
436
00:19:44,175 --> 00:19:46,717
to his son or his
nephew. You know?
437
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,260
I don't know, Uncle Bernie.
438
00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:50,054
Sure, you know.
You been walking
around here
439
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:51,496
like a man,
haven't you?
440
00:19:51,574 --> 00:19:53,140
I mean, but doesn't
your back still hurt?
441
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:54,642
No. My back fine.
442
00:19:54,718 --> 00:19:55,851
Come on, stand up.
443
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,603
I'll show you
some move.
444
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,688
All right, all right.
The first thing you do,
445
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,065
let me see
how you stand.
446
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,825
Put your hands
up like this.
447
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,151
Keep your head
behind the glove, okay?
448
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,653
Kneel down a little
bit, okay?
449
00:20:05,729 --> 00:20:06,946
(creak of camera turning)
450
00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:08,155
All right!
(punching noise)
451
00:20:08,232 --> 00:20:11,075
JORDAN:
Ow! (gasping)
452
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,452
Man, your defense
is weak, dude. Real weak.
453
00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:15,788
I'll have to show
you some moves.
(gasping)
454
00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:17,873
What?
455
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,085
(gasping)
I'm cool, Uncle Bernie.
456
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,504
So that's how
I restored balance, America.
457
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:26,882
The boy's growing up,
but he knows his place.
458
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,592
And Nessa?
459
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:31,520
Well, let's see.
460
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,264
Come on in, Nessa.
461
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,849
I'm gonna open them up now.
462
00:20:35,926 --> 00:20:37,101
For real this time?
463
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,811
Are you still afraid?
464
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:40,562
(laughs)
Yeah, I am.
465
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,439
But...?
466
00:20:42,516 --> 00:20:44,066
But I'm not going
to let that stop me.
467
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,694
All right.
468
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:47,945
Here.
469
00:20:48,022 --> 00:20:49,789
(breathes deeply)
470
00:21:00,617 --> 00:21:03,585
(piano playing)
471
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,254
SINGER:♪ Oh, I feel better now ♪
472
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,006
Excuse us, America.
473
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,174
Nessa feels a little
vulnerable right now.
474
00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:10,718
Cut the camera off.
475
00:21:10,794 --> 00:21:14,263
♪ That we've sat downand talked things over ♪
476
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,065
I'm... I'm really...
I'm proud.
477
00:21:17,968 --> 00:21:19,701
♪ And the worried feeling... ♪
478
00:21:23,307 --> 00:21:26,734
What the...?
This is some bull.
479
00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:30,529
(laughter)
480
00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:33,699
Y'all some dirty moles.
Y'all some dirty moles.
481
00:21:33,776 --> 00:21:37,244
(all laughing)
482
00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:40,414
Yeah. Right on.
Right on. Right on.
483
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:43,208
(all laughing)
484
00:21:43,285 --> 00:21:45,044
All right, all right.
485
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,212
My mind's been
wandering, all right?
486
00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:48,756
You said Patty
want one more.
487
00:21:48,832 --> 00:21:51,642
I said, "What the heck
Patty want one more for?"
488
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:57,648
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