Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

(indistinct chatter)

(slow music playing over car stereo)

(car brakes)

Hey, don't drag your clothes on the ground, baby.

(door opens) Where your brother Jordan at?

(sighs)

He's with his girlfriend.

His girlfriend? Jordan?

Well, no matter what kind of nerd she is,

don't make fun of her, okay?

(sighs)

Hey, look, look, look, look.

No, you first.

(gasps)

You see that, America?

My boy, Jordan, gone and pulled himself a cheerleader.

Fine, too. (chuckles)

Boy's a Mac after all.

Go on, player, player.

Okay, I think it's ready.

Well, stick a fork in it. Let's see.

(phone ringing) Mmm.

I got it. (phone ringing)

Okay.

Hello.

-ERICA (over phone): Hey, Jordan. -Hey, yourself.

ERICA (over phone): I just got home, and called

to see what you're doing.

So what you doing?

(scoffs) I know he's not talking to a girl.

Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that.

You see how he almost knocked me over?

Sure about what?

Jordan. We think he's entered the girlfriend phase.

Too late, I seen her.

Where? Is she goofy?

Oh, my goodness, is she really?

No, the girl's name is Erica. She's a cheerleader.

Shut up. True.

Quit playing, Uncle Bernie. Is she really a cheerleader?

Wait, what's her name again? She's ugly, right?

You know what's happening here, America?

These two women been the main women in Jordan's life.

But as soon as this man get a woman of his own, (chuckles)

they starting hating, yeah. (chuckles)

But I don't know why women... why y'all do that?

Anyway, I'm here, right here.

And I'm going to protect my man from all this hating.

Hell, yeah.

Wrong. The boy's a Mac,

and pretty comes with the territory.

Right, baby? Mwah.

(relaxing music playing)

WOMAN: Good. That's good.

Breathing. (loud exhale)

Through the nose.

(groaning)

Ow. Ow. Ah.

I'm ready, Aunt Wanda. Let's go.

Ooh! Ah. Bryana...

Honey, I thought I asked not to be disturbed.

I just started my yoga classes again,

and... plus, you don't need to be there for another two hours.

That's when I played peewee.

They moved me up to junior now.

That's wonderful.

Um...

Give me a second.

Bernie!

Pss! You see that, America?

Huh? Wanda trying to drop her mess in my lap.

Well, let me tell you something.

The thing is, when you keep it moving,

you don't even have a lap.

Nope, nope, sorry, sweetheart, no can do.

I just got enough time to drop Jordan off

to that mascot thing he's got going at school.

You know, he became the school mascot,

so he could be close to Erica.

That boy's smooth, smooth.

Honey, you know how hard it was for me to book Kai.

If I change the schedule, I'll go back on the waiting list.

Sorry, no can do.

Hey, Jordan, come on, playboy!

Let's roll, baby! But... (sighs)

(loud bang)

(chuckles)

(sighs)

Kai, sorry.

You know, I'm going to need to...

Aunt Wanda... Uh?

um, I know you lent me money just a few days ago,

but my gas tank is on "E" again.

So I was wondering if you could lend me

a few dollars in advance? (chuckles)

And... I know that you said...

Sure, Vanessa.

Really?

I'll help you out

because we're gonna help out each other.

Now I need you to take Bryana to soccer practice.

She's going to be hungry afterwards.

But--But I was supposed to meet my friends, and...

Come on, Bryana, we don't want you to miss your soccer game.

Be careful. Have fun.

CHEERLEADERS: One, two, three, four...

One, two, three, four...

One, two, three, four...

Go, Damien!

Whoo!

America, I bet Jordan is up

at that school right now

working some of that old Mac magic, yes, sir.

Hey, don't be mad at me for being this doggone happy,

'cause I worry about the boy.

See, my generation,

we couldn't help but be smooth,

with cats like Marvin, Smokey and Curtis setting the mood.

Nowadays, it's getting kind of iffy,

you know what I'm saying, son? (chuckles)

But I'm just glad there's enough smooth left

to trickle down to my nephew.

Thank you, Lord.

Don't hurt 'em, Jordan.

Only use your power for the good, baby.

Whoo! ♪ Oh...♪

Babe, I got all the hits.

(dog barking in the distance)

(indistinct chatter)

Hey. Oh, Jordan.

Sorry I didn't call you this morning, but my aunt was on the phone.

(whistle blows)

(soft giggling)

(sad music playing)

Is something wrong? GIRL: Duh.

Only that she quit you like two whole hours ago.

I left a note by your locker.

(whistle blows)

(lockers being shut, indistinct chatter)

It's all a misunderstanding. I mean, it has to be.

What misunderstanding, dude? She dumped you.

No, somebody put her up to this.

I mean, I know she's still feeling me. Listen.

"Dear Jordan. I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. Erica"?

"Dear Jordan"?

I mean, come on.

Read between the lines.

Let it go, man.

No, no. Me and Erica,

we--we just need to talk, that's all.

We just need to talk.

SINGER: ♪ Tell me why is it so? ♪

WOMAN: Thank you. Next? Can I help you?

Look, you better not embarrass me in here.

-When are we going to eat? -Don't stress, I got some chips in my purse.

Hey. GIRLS: Hey.

Hey, Munchkin. My name's Bryana.

Oh, my bad.

Ain't no munchkins out here,

right, Bryana?

He's back. Check him out, V.

To your left, nice and slow, though.

SINGER: ♪ Are you looking ♪

♪ For a number ♪

♪ I just want... ♪

Whoa.

Right? Go talk to him.

Uh-uh. You. As if. (scoffs)

Hey, you sound hella Valley for a black girl.

What's up with that? Oh. My bad.

Look, homeboy is fine.

Is that "Shaniqua" enough for you?

Like, totally. (girls giggling)

(scoffs) You both need to quit.

SINGER: ♪ I drown my love for you ♪

Going somewhere? What is she doing?

GIRL: Something we were all afraid to do.

Your little sis has game, Vanessa.

Hella game. Oh, my God.

♪ Drown myself in you I want you ♪

Someone over here wants to know the difference

between a caramel latte and a mocha Frappuccino?

(nervous giggles)

(song goes on, indistinct)

Uh, hold on, Carl. I think I hear him.

Hey, Jordan! Come here, right quick!

Carl, I'm telling you she's a cheerleader.

And fine, too, man. CARL (over phone): Yeah, yeah, boy...

Man, I'm telling you, the boy is a Mac to his heart, dude.

He's better than me and you.

I-I know we thought he was gonna be a punk.

I know we did. We both, we wrong for that.

Hold on, hold on. Jordan, tell your Uncle Carl about your broad.

Hi, Uncle Carl. CARL (over phone): Girlfriend, huh?

Yes, it's true. Her name's Erica.

What's she look like? Well, you know.

Yeah, she's cute enough. What? Give me that. Cute enough?

Carl, she's the best-looking girl in the whole doggone school.

I'm telling you, the boy is a Mac.

He's taking the Mac game to a whole different level.

He's taking it up to the 21st century.

(groaning) Aw.

Ain't no way. You prouder than me?

(dog barking in the distance)

(Gloria Gaynor: "Never Can Say Goodbye" playing)

♪ Never can say goodbye ♪

♪ No, no, no, no, I... ♪

♪ Never can say goodbye ♪ (phone beeping, ringing)

ERICA (on voicemail): Hi, this is Erica. Leave me something.

Hey, Erica, this is Jordan. We need to talk. Okay, call me. Bye.

♪ Though I try, try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show ♪

♪ Then you try to say you're leaving me ♪ (phone beeping)

♪ and I always... ♪ (phone ringing)

ERICA (on voicemail): Hi, this is Erica. Leave me something.

Oh, in case you forgot, the number is 818-555-0125.

Okay, this is Jordan. Bye.

♪ Never can say goodbye ♪

♪ No, no, no, no, I... ♪

♪ Never can say goodbye ♪

♪ Every time I think I've had enough ♪ JORDAN: Psst!

(mouthing soundlessly) ♪ I start heading for the door ♪

♪ There's a very strange vibration ♪

♪ A-piercing me right to the core ♪

(machine beeping) ♪ It says, "Turn around, you fool" ♪

JORDAN: Hey, Erica, it's Jordan.

I know you've been really busy,

but we still need to have that talk.

Call me.

Please. (puts the phone down)

(machine beeping) ♪ Don't wanna let you go ♪

(phone ringing) ♪ I never can say goodbye ♪

-♪ Never can say goodbye ♪ -♪ Ooh baby ♪

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing) Hello. Erica?

BERNIE (over phone): Guess again, player.

Tell your Aunt Wanda they're out of Chunky Monkey.

She's just going to have to be happy with whatever I bring.

Okay. (phone beeps)

(groaning)

America, that boy and his little cheerleader girl,

I'm going to have to put in another line just for them.

(chuckling)

(phone beeping)

(busy signal buzzing) See?

(busy signal buzzing) (chuckles)

(crickets singing and dogs barking in the distance)

(sighing)

(phone beeping)

(phone ringing) MAN (over phone): Hello? Hello?

Is this that young man that's been callin' Erica? (gasps)

Let me tell you something, little boy.

Don't call this house no more. All right?

How many times she got to tell you not to call her?

So are they cool enough yet?

Well, let's see. Put a little icing on one.

All I know is my name better be on one of them cupcakes.

WANDA: Actually, when we're done, it's going to spell "Erica."

Ooh, look at that. E-R-I-C-A.

Ooh, my name be on that extra one right...

No, no, no, no, no. That's where the heart goes.

Oh, you Mac-adocious little rascal.

Put her name on a cupcake.

You know, a flower would have sealed that deal, too.

Honey. I'm just saying, baby.

The boy's good. He's good.

Shoot, putting a heart on the cupcake.

Shoot, that's a notch on the bed frame.

What? He don't even know we're here.

But I'm here.

I'm just saying, look here, baby.

Don't pay Wanda no mind.

This is a guy thing.

She wouldn't understand it.

(chatter)

GIRL (scoffs): Here comes you-know-who.

Erica, hi.

I made these for you.

Jordan, I can't.

(sighs) I know you've been really, really busy--

too busy to call me back or anything,

but... That's not why, Jordan.

I haven't called because there's nothing left to say.

You never know, Erica. I mean, you just said that.

It's over.

We're over. I moved on.

Moved on? What do you mean, moved on?

She means she goes with Jason now.

Oh...

I-I still want you to have these.

Bye, Jordan.

Bye.

(chuckling)

Wow, Erica, these are some really good cupcakes.

Did you see that, America?

Did you?

Hussy.

(doleful music playing)

Hey, Uncle Bernie.

(horn hooting)

Hey, man.

There's only one way to tell you this, and that's straight.

(sighs) Your broad, man, she's two-timing on you.

What?

Man, look.

(groaning) Chillax, man.

Come on. Breathe, breathe.

Breathe. (gasps)

Can't have you going off, making no scene out here, man.

You cool? Yeah, I'm cool, I'm cool, Uncle Bernie.

I hated to be the one that had to tell you, man.

Now, I know how you feel, being a Mac.

I know you feel like you want to go over there.

'Cause he could be dealt with!

No, no, Uncle Bernie. No.

We should just drive away fast.

That'll be better.

Okay. (whirring of window going up)

Skank. (whimpers)

(car door closes, horn hooting in the distance)

(romantic song playing indistinctly)

Look.

(laughs)

Bryana, you're ill.

Oh, look, look. This is how they crump off that.

SINGER: ♪ Niggas actin' up ♪

Ooh.

♪ Ice cool, me ♪

(laughing)

♪ Like I wanna pop it off ♪

(men laughing) That's how it's supposed to go down, right there.

I know that's right. That's it.

Man, I'm telling you. Yeah?

(clears throat) Oh, your uncle told us about your girl, man.

That was a cold shot, bro. (chuckles)

That's why you've got to dump her, hard.

No, no, he doesn't, man.

Hey, man, you got to do it with class, Jordan, all right?

Think Cary Grant.

Who? JON: Exactly. Cary Grant?

You got to dump her hard. 50 Cent hard.

CHUY: Look, hard, classy, sweet, stank, who cares?

The important thing is that you show her no fear.

Can you promise me that? Look at me.

Yeah, but... (sighs)

See, I thought getting Jordan together with the fellas

would help him with some male bonding, you know?

But these fools sound like doggone fools.

"50 Cent hard"?

It's time for the Mac-man to do some damage control.

Look here, son. The most important thing is that you mean what you say.

The girl got to know that you mean what you say.

And you do mean what you say, right?

It's over. Oh, it's over, trust me.

That's what I'm talking about, boy!

(laughing)

Man, we pulled up, uh, I mean, we sitting there talking.

And she's sitting up there, man, bustin' slob.

What? Yeah. Skank. I'm sitting up there

and this trollop bust a slob on my nephew.

That's cold. Pss! Ain't gonna happen.

Hey, Uncle Bernie. Hey, girls.

Uncle Bernie, Uncle Bernie, Uncle Bernie, Uncle Bernie!

You're just in time. I'm getting ready to put all this food up.

But no worries. I could heat you something up right away.

Like, I'm totally full.

Yeah, we already ate.

But I bet you ate a bunch of junk.

-Can you please stand still? -Like, I'm sorry, okay?

It's not okay. Give me that. What are you drinking? Stop it!

Coffee.

Oh, hey, how was soccer?

Eh.

Oh, she full of energy. Ooh, thanks.

This girl bouncing around like some kind of hop head.

And Wanda acting like it's all good.

Well, America, it ain't all good.

I'm so worried about the boy, this almost got past me.

You know, America, sometime, I think

I'm the only one around here with good sense.

Wanda, I don't know if this Nessa-Baby Girl thing

is going to work out. I just don't know.

Well, honey, I admit there's some kinks that we need to work out.

Kinks? You saw how jacked up she was.

She damn near popped out of her seat. You saw her.

Come on. That ain't no kinks. That's a problem.

Well, I've already told Vanessa no coffee next time.

She shouldn't even be under Nessa, that's my point.

You know? Drinking drinks she can't even pronounce.

Talking crazy. Looking all trashy.

I really think you should start taking her back to the games.

Well, not if I get road rage 'cause I don't have yoga to keep me calm.

Sweetheart, I know how much this yoga means to you.

My sanity. (sighs)

Honey...

I'm willing to do everything to make this work.

But... Every... thing.

Is that right? Oh, you know how we do.

(thumping) Wait, hold on.

Who's that bouncing a ball up in my house?

I don't hear nothing. Uh-uh.

BRYANA: Sorry!

Go to bed!

I can't sleep!

See what I'm talking about?

It's coffee.

I had some coffee, too.

(knocking)

Hey, Jordan.

How'd it go, man? You all right? How'd what go?

You know, that Erica girl, kicking her to the curb.

Oh, it's done. It's taken care of.

Just like that?

Yeah, I mean, why drag it on?

Wow, Jordan.

You're stronger than I thought, dude.

Player, man, you're way stronger than I was when I was your age.

-Really? -Yeah. To go through what you went through?

It's not that bad.

Not that bad? To see your broad hugged up with another dude?

It's no big deal.

You too cold. No big deal?

Here it is, your broad, all hugged up with another dude.

They wrapped up, man. Kee-keein', laughing... (mimics girl laughing)

touching and feeling, damn near kissing,

look-looking like you wasn't even there. Mm.

Then all of a sudden, new dude going to take a big bite of your cupcake.

The cupcake that you baked

and nourished from scratch with your bare hands, man.

Right where you put the heart, he's going to get the cupcake...

(makes chomping noise) bite in the middle of it and give her a little bit.

(sobbing, crying)

Uncle Bernie!

Uncle Bernie, she dumped me! She dumped me!

I mean, I'm not a Mac. I'm a fool!

I never loved anyone as much as I loved her, Uncle Bernie!

(sniffing)

(continues sobbing) Erica!

Hold me, Uncle Bernie! Oh...

(crying loudly)

(sobbing continues) Wow.

(sighs)

I'm sorry I cried like that, Uncle Bernie.

Oh, that's all right. Everyone cries sometime.

In fact, that's what I wanted to show you.

I want to show you the girl that made me cry.

Or did you think you're the only one ever got dumped?

Wait, you got dumped?

You wanna see the picture or not?

Yeah. Right there.

Idabelle Goins. (chuckles)

Uncle Bernie, there's no girl in that picture.

Look, look, boy. Right there.

Ugh! Uncle Bernie, you got dumped by that?

She's a troll.

You watch your mouth.

Back then, we didn't call them that.

Good ol' boogabears.

She was built. My first.

She had a funny way she used to do her mouth, you know, and...

The boy's hurting, America.

That little crack of a smile is as good as it's going to get for right now.

Oh, you remember getting your heart broken. I do.

I had to listen to this for a good two years

before I felt better,

and every now and then...

(voice breaking) It still get to me.

(slow music playing) SINGER: ♪ Oh... ♪

-♪ Oh... ♪ -♪ Oh... ♪

-♪ I miss you, baby ♪ -♪ Miss you miss you ♪

I better have my...

♪ Miss you miss you miss you ♪

(calm music playing)

And then turn the right knee out.

Ooh, mm.

Good. Turn it out. Okay.

Keep your torso straight up and down. Yeah.

And then straighten the right leg. Okay.

And reach out to the right. (loudly exhales)

Ooh. (chuckles)

Should I be feeling that up in here? (chuckles)

Turn the top of your leg out. That's it.

(rap music playing) What? And breathe? Okay, great.

Uh... who that? ♪ Work that thing booty pop tight ♪

♪ Do that jerk-back thing ♪

♪ I wanna hurt that thing ♪

♪ Let me see you cha-cha, mama ♪

♪ Let me see that onion-dropper ♪

♪ Drop it down here in my lap, work it, baby make it go splat ♪

(rapping on window) ♪ Let me see you cha-cha, mama ♪

♪ Let me see that onion-dropper ♪

♪ Drop it down here in my lap ♪

(mouthing) ♪ Work it, baby, make it go splat ♪

Come on.

Ready?

Here's your gas money.

Let's go. That's okay, Vanessa.

Why don't you go with your friends? I'll take her.

For real? Mm-hmm.

-Suit yourself. -Come on, little mama.

Why don't you catch me up on all that I missed?

What's been going on? That little fat girl treating you okay?

Well, America, things are starting to get back to normal around here.

Wanda's back in Baby Girl's life.

She saw that Nessa thing wasn't working. I told her.

Now Jordan and his broken heart,

that might take a little more time.

Maybe a couple years.

But sooner or later, he'll be all right.

I hope.

(whimpers)

(indistinct chatter)

(romantic music playing)

You dropped this. Thanks.

(small laugh)

Someone over here wants to know the difference

between a caramel Frappuccino and a mocha...

(girls laugh) (laughs) I'm sorry.

I messed up the whole line. MAN: That's a good one.

♪ Get on me, let me see somethin' ♪

♪ Bring it up, get it on... ♪

♪ You'll see somethin' ♪

(funky dance music playing)

(girls laughing)

MAN: Okay, cut.

Captioned by Visual Data