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1
00:00:02,986 --> 00:00:04,586
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:17,709 --> 00:00:20,260
See, when filling out
college applications,
3
00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:22,095
what you want
to do is you want
to put them in order
4
00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:23,755
of priority,
all right?
5
00:00:23,832 --> 00:00:26,516
You want to do it based upon
curriculum, accreditation,
6
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,977
or whether or not it's
geographically desirable.
7
00:00:29,054 --> 00:00:30,687
Got me?
Mm-hmm.
8
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:31,780
Okay.
9
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,034
Vanessa...
10
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:37,861
This one's in Paris.
11
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,163
Hmm.
12
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:42,157
I don't know how
that got in there.
13
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:43,909
(doorbell ringing)
14
00:00:43,985 --> 00:00:45,419
BERNIE:
I got it.
15
00:00:48,573 --> 00:00:50,040
Hi.
Hey.
16
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,917
I'm Judy Wasserstein.
This is my son David.
17
00:00:51,993 --> 00:00:53,752
We just moved in
down the street.
18
00:00:53,829 --> 00:00:55,712
Oh, I'm Bernie Mac.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
19
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,114
Thank you.
20
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,757
Oh, how nice,
you have children.
21
00:00:58,834 --> 00:01:00,175
Yes, this is
my nephew Jordan.
22
00:01:00,252 --> 00:01:01,685
Jordan, this is
Ms. Wasserstein
23
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:02,969
and her son David.
24
00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:03,804
Hey.
25
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,180
Hi.
26
00:01:05,257 --> 00:01:06,640
We were hoping there were
other children
27
00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:08,183
in the neighborhood
around David's age.
28
00:01:08,260 --> 00:01:11,019
Well, I'm quite sure
29
00:01:11,096 --> 00:01:13,188
Jordan and David will
get along real well.
30
00:01:13,265 --> 00:01:14,564
Am I right, Jordan?
31
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,565
(video game beeping)
32
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,609
Ow! Right.
33
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:21,071
Doggone, America, it's my job
to expand his horizons.
34
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,823
Whether he likes it or not.
35
00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:25,283
I didn't know a lot of Jewish
folks growing up either.
36
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,578
But now, (chuckles)
some of my closest
friends are Jewish.
37
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,414
My agent, my lawyer,
my accountant,
38
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,875
even my doctor,
he's cool with me.
39
00:01:33,952 --> 00:01:35,552
Huh. Only way to go.
40
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:38,054
Only way to go.
41
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,298
What's your doggone problem?
That was rude of you.
42
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:42,551
Uncle Bernie,
he's a nerd.
Nerd nor not,
43
00:01:42,627 --> 00:01:44,027
you're going to be
a good neighbor,
44
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,271
and you're going to
play with that kid.
(groans)
45
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,733
(video game beeping)
46
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,019
WANDA: No, Vanessa'sa great student.
47
00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:55,480
It's just that it's
competitive, right?
48
00:01:55,557 --> 00:01:57,107
So I want her to be realistic
49
00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,284
and consider
some state colleges.
50
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:01,653
(chuckles)
51
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,580
Yeah, uh-huh.
52
00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:06,708
WANDA:
Yeah.
53
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,757
(indistinct conversation
on phone)
54
00:02:17,787 --> 00:02:19,847
(bored tapping)
55
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:26,770
So what do you want to do?
56
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,776
Oh, no way. You have
the wireless controllers?
57
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,403
Uh, I can't.
58
00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:37,063
It's the Sabbath and we're not
allowed to use electricity
59
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,690
until Saturday night.
60
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,150
It's a Jewish thing.
61
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,526
(scoffs)
My mom must have
been Jewish,
62
00:02:41,603 --> 00:02:44,279
because in Chicago,
it was the Sabbath a lot.
63
00:02:44,356 --> 00:02:46,031
Wait, wait, wait.
64
00:02:46,107 --> 00:02:47,391
Would you be
breaking the rules
65
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,992
if I worked
the controllers
66
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,452
while you told me which
aliens to shoot?
67
00:02:50,528 --> 00:02:52,162
I guess not.
68
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,872
I never thought about
that before.
69
00:02:53,949 --> 00:02:55,665
(laughing)
70
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,427
There's not a rule made
that I can't get around.
(laughs)
71
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:04,341
Okay, uh, so press,
up, up, down, down,
72
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:06,977
left, right, left, right,
B, A, and start,
73
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,678
and that will get you
unlimited ammo.
74
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,181
Should you be using
cheat codes on
the Sabbath?
75
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,391
Technically,
you're using them.
(chuckles)
76
00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:16,436
Hey, I thought this game
doesn't come out for a month.
How'd you get it?
77
00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:18,355
Uh, my cousin's a beta tester.
78
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,273
In fact, he's going
to have the arcade
version of this game
79
00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:21,816
at his bar mitzvah
this Saturday.
80
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,727
You want to go?
81
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,904
I guess there'll be
a bunch of video game
nerds, huh?
82
00:03:25,981 --> 00:03:27,280
Probably.
83
00:03:27,357 --> 00:03:28,782
Sounds like fun.
84
00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:30,200
(shooting noises)
85
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:31,543
Go left... right...
86
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:36,206
Want to see how many doughnut
holes I can stuff in my mouth?
87
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,582
My record's 13.
88
00:03:37,659 --> 00:03:39,292
Not now, Bryana.
89
00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:41,670
I'm writing an essay
for my college applications.
90
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,381
What for?
Aunt Wanda thinks
you're wasting your time.
91
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:46,216
What are you talking about?
92
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,467
I heard her say
you have no chance
93
00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:48,843
of getting into Berkeley.
94
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,220
She said that?
95
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,223
That and something about
aiming too high.
96
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:57,560
(scoffs) I can't believe
she would talk about me
behind my back.
97
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,604
What the family says
is right about her.
98
00:03:59,681 --> 00:04:01,240
She is boojie.
99
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:07,028
RABBI: Therefore,
at the age of 13,
100
00:04:07,105 --> 00:04:09,072
a boy is responsible
for his deeds--
101
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,742
spiritually, ethically,
and morally.
102
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,119
Leviticus 19:18.
103
00:04:14,195 --> 00:04:16,997
(speaking Hebrew)
104
00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:19,249
You should love your neighbor
as you love yourself.
105
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:23,586
Treat others the way that
we would want to be treated.
Amen.
106
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,422
ALL: Amen.
107
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,590
Oh, man, I don't care
what you guys call it,
108
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,427
this was church.
You owe me.
109
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,137
How's that for payment?
110
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,897
(dramatic music
and futuristic noises)
111
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:37,325
Holy Jesus!
112
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:39,903
In here we say Holy Moses.
113
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,521
Good service.
114
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:44,491
Well, it's your house.
I'm just here to party.
115
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,861
(upbeat music playing)
116
00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:49,571
(arcade game noises)
117
00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:51,790
Ready... player two switch.
118
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:59,622
Thanks.
Man, this party's
awesome.
119
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,666
Aw! (mutters)
120
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,386
Um, let's go dip stuff
in the chocolate fountain.
121
00:05:06,081 --> 00:05:09,424
There's Elena.
I've liked her
since the first grade.
122
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:10,567
JORDAN:
Then why don't
you dance with her?
123
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,677
She thinks
I'm a little nebbish.
124
00:05:12,754 --> 00:05:15,597
A nerd.
No, no, you're not a nerd.
125
00:05:15,673 --> 00:05:17,441
You just need an in.
I mean, if I can get
126
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,109
you two together
on the dance floor,
127
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,685
will you dance
with her?
128
00:05:20,762 --> 00:05:22,228
How are you going
to do that?
129
00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:24,197
(dance music playing)
130
00:05:24,274 --> 00:05:25,899
You know how
to Electric Slide?
131
00:05:25,975 --> 00:05:27,901
Let's do it.
132
00:05:27,977 --> 00:05:30,320
And right, and left...
133
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,113
and left, and back...
134
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:35,325
and back...
135
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,243
And turn...
136
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,087
Dude, get in.
137
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,331
Hi there, Elena.
Hi.
138
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,666
She said "hi" to me.
I know. Just dance.
139
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,093
Okay, okay.
140
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:46,795
And back...
141
00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:49,172
SINGER:♪ The new Electric Slide... ♪
142
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:53,769
And left and left
and left, and left...
143
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,522
♪ It's Electric ♪
144
00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:06,398
♪ It's Electric... ♪
145
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,866
This is so cool.
I know, dude.
Dude...
146
00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:10,118
Okay. Stay here.
147
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:11,495
Back?
148
00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:15,031
♪ Do-do-do-do,do-do-do-dah ♪
149
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,241
BERNIE:
Hey, Jordan.
150
00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:17,575
Oh, hey, Uncle Bernie.
151
00:06:17,652 --> 00:06:19,035
You have a good time
with David?
152
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,787
It was great, Uncle Bernie.
153
00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:23,206
You were right about opening
my mind to other cultures.
154
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:26,376
It gave me a sense of
fulfillment.
155
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:29,003
I'm glad to hear that, boy.
I'm glad to hear that.
156
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:33,475
I'm exhausted, Uncle Bernie.
I'm gonna go take a schvitz
and then plotz.
157
00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:37,104
What's a...?
158
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,849
You see that, America?
159
00:06:40,925 --> 00:06:42,600
My plan worked.
160
00:06:42,677 --> 00:06:45,195
See, I'm not the one to spin
my own dreidel.
161
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,188
Or gefilte fish
for a compliment.
162
00:06:47,265 --> 00:06:50,817
But by showing Jordan a new
culture, I did a mitzvah.
163
00:06:50,894 --> 00:06:53,778
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's Yiddish for a solid.
164
00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:56,614
Which is South Side Chicago
for a boon.
165
00:06:56,691 --> 00:06:59,159
Which is... anyway.
166
00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:03,496
America, let me finish exposing
Jordan to some culture
167
00:07:03,573 --> 00:07:06,040
and I'll get
back to y'all real soon.
168
00:07:06,117 --> 00:07:07,134
Ta-ta.
169
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,975
(laughing)
Last night was so much fun.
170
00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:17,552
I danced so hard,
I emptied my inhaler.
171
00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:20,054
Yeah, me, too.
Thanks for inviting me.
172
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,891
Oh, man, there was a lot of good
stuff in those goodie bags.
173
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,684
I wish there was
a bar mitzvah every weekend.
174
00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:27,437
Actually... there are.
175
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,147
It's b'nai mitzvah season.
176
00:07:29,224 --> 00:07:31,024
And all the kids at my
school are having one.
177
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,775
Wait, you go to
another school
178
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,194
after your regular school?
179
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:35,653
And on Sunday.
180
00:07:35,730 --> 00:07:37,530
You definitely
need to party.
181
00:07:37,607 --> 00:07:40,742
But since I'm new in town,
I'm not invited to any.
182
00:07:40,818 --> 00:07:42,327
So how are we supposed
to get in?
183
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,828
(scoffs)
If your people
184
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,455
can find their way
through the desert,
185
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,831
I'm sure we can find
our way into
186
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,383
Encino Gardens Banquet Hall.
187
00:07:50,921 --> 00:07:53,046
VANESSA:
Yeah, I know.
188
00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:56,257
And she's got some nerve
talking about me.
189
00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:59,102
Now, I won't feel so guilty
about tonight.
190
00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:05,233
Hold on a sec.
Let me get back to my room.
191
00:08:10,848 --> 00:08:11,990
(door closes)
192
00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:19,956
GIRL (on phone):Don't tell anybodywhat we're doing...
193
00:08:26,698 --> 00:08:28,298
(yawning)
194
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,178
(water running)
195
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,148
Going somewhere?
196
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,110
What are you doing sneaking out?
You're supposed to be studying.
197
00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:59,529
(scoffs)
What do I
need to study for?
198
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:02,657
You said I would never get
into college anyway.
What are you talking about?
199
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:06,411
Bryana told me what you said
about me not being good enough
to get into Berkeley.
200
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,837
What?
201
00:09:10,908 --> 00:09:13,126
I just meant that
it's competitive.
202
00:09:13,202 --> 00:09:16,004
And you seem like you're
not applying yourself.
203
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,214
Like, for instance,
sneaking out.
204
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,850
Bryana told you
that, too, huh?
205
00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:23,386
Maybe.
206
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,805
Yeah, well, if she'll
tell my business,
207
00:09:25,882 --> 00:09:27,941
you know she'll tell yours
to somebody else.
208
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,310
Yeah.
209
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,478
I think you're right.
210
00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:34,197
See how smart you are?
211
00:09:35,266 --> 00:09:38,243
Now prove your brilliance
and get out.
212
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:44,365
Wow!
Check it out.
213
00:09:44,442 --> 00:09:46,501
Put, put one of those on.
Those on...
214
00:09:46,578 --> 00:09:48,494
Aah! No,
it's not a hat.
215
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,204
See, it's called
a yarmulke.
216
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,914
Got it.
217
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,425
You know what?
Try another.
218
00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:55,835
That's not-- it's not
working for you.
219
00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:58,129
There you go.
Pick it up.
220
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,089
Dude, you are
so cool.
221
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,524
You are so cool.
Yes!
222
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,009
You're wearing the yarmulke;
you're wearing it well.
223
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:04,227
Yes!
All right.
224
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,639
Yarmulkes?
Check.
225
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,849
Taliths?
Check.
226
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,060
Inhalers?
Check.
227
00:10:12,136 --> 00:10:14,228
(both inhale)
Ahh...
228
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,314
What if they ask
to see invitations?
229
00:10:16,391 --> 00:10:18,608
Just follow my lead.
If you've been to
one of these things,
230
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,035
you've been to them all.
231
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:26,282
Uh...uh...
Oh, we just stepped
outside for some air.
232
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:29,285
He's an asthmatic,
so We know where
we're sitting.
233
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,830
You know, I don't remember
seeing you two at the ceremony.
234
00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:34,415
Uh... uh...
235
00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:35,541
Oh, you don't?
236
00:10:35,618 --> 00:10:37,377
Oh, it was lovely.
237
00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:39,087
I mean, the best part
was when the rabbi
238
00:10:39,163 --> 00:10:41,422
quoted Leviticus 19:18.
239
00:10:41,499 --> 00:10:45,718
(speaking Hebrew)
240
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:49,263
Yes, that was lovely,
wasn't it?
241
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,349
Well, enjoy the party.
(sighs)
242
00:10:51,426 --> 00:10:54,936
Three schools,
and all you come up
with is, "Uh...uh..."
243
00:10:55,012 --> 00:10:57,647
Hey, we're in, aren't we?
No thanks to you.
244
00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,565
How's my hat?
Yarmulke!
245
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:04,112
SINGER: ♪ Well... ♪
246
00:11:04,188 --> 00:11:07,365
♪ You know youmake me want to shout!Kick my heels up and ♪
247
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:09,200
♪ Shout!Throw my hands up and ♪
248
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:10,952
♪ Shout! Throw my headback and ♪
249
00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:12,704
♪ Shout!Come on now ♪
250
00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:15,289
♪ Don't forget to sayyou will ♪
251
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,874
BOTH (playing badly):♪ Dreidel, dreidel,dreidel... ♪
252
00:11:16,951 --> 00:11:18,751
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
253
00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:20,294
♪ Say you will ♪
254
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,088
♪ Say it right now, baby ♪
255
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,798
♪ Say you will ♪
256
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:24,966
♪ Come on, come on ♪
257
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:26,968
♪ Say you will ♪
258
00:11:27,044 --> 00:11:28,678
BOTH (still playing badly):♪ I made it out of clay... ♪
259
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:30,054
♪ Come on now ♪
260
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,723
♪ Say that you love me ♪
261
00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:33,266
♪ Say that you need me ♪
262
00:11:33,342 --> 00:11:35,143
♪ Say that you want me ♪
263
00:11:35,219 --> 00:11:36,936
-♪ Say ♪-♪ You wanna please me ♪
264
00:11:37,013 --> 00:11:38,438
-♪ Say ♪-♪ Come on now ♪
265
00:11:38,514 --> 00:11:40,940
-♪ Say ♪-♪ Come on now ♪
266
00:11:41,017 --> 00:11:42,692
-BOTH:♪ When it's nice and ready ♪-DAVID: ♪ Oh... ♪
267
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,318
♪ Dreidel, I will play ♪
268
00:11:44,395 --> 00:11:45,486
♪ I'm gonna playthat dreidel ♪
269
00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:46,829
♪ Yeah ♪
270
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:51,409
SINGER:♪ I feel all right ♪
271
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:53,453
(crowd applauding
and hollering)
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
272
00:11:53,529 --> 00:11:55,872
♪ Every timeI think about you ♪
273
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,999
Whoa, is
that even out yet?
274
00:11:58,075 --> 00:11:59,333
-No, I don't think so.
-Dude, let me see.
275
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,127
♪ You know youmake me want to ♪
276
00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:02,712
♪ Shout!Lift my hands up and ♪
277
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,547
♪ Shout! Throw my headback and shout! ♪
278
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:07,842
♪ Kick my heels up and shout!Come on now ♪
279
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:11,304
♪ Shout! Take it easy shout!Take it easy ♪
280
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,055
♪ Shout!A little bit louder now ♪
281
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,858
♪ Shout!A Little bit louder now ♪
282
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,018
♪ Shout!Hey-ey-ey-ey ♪
283
00:12:17,094 --> 00:12:18,811
♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey ♪
284
00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:20,605
♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey ♪
285
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:22,106
♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey ♪
286
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:24,025
♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪
287
00:12:24,101 --> 00:12:25,610
♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪
288
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,162
♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪
289
00:12:27,238 --> 00:12:28,696
♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪
290
00:12:28,773 --> 00:12:29,864
♪ Shout now ♪
291
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,124
♪ Everybody shout ♪
292
00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:32,700
♪ Shout, shout, shout ♪
293
00:12:32,777 --> 00:12:34,243
♪ Shout, shout, shout ♪
294
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,995
♪ Shout, shout, shout ♪
295
00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:37,371
♪ Shout, shout, shout ♪
296
00:12:37,448 --> 00:12:38,873
♪ Shout, shout, shout ♪
297
00:12:38,950 --> 00:12:40,133
♪ Shout, shout, shout ♪
298
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,126
Whoa, looky there--
299
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,754
like somebody had
a blast of a time
last night.
300
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,798
Uncle Bernie, please,
not so loud.
301
00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:48,549
I'm coming down
from the sugar.
302
00:12:48,626 --> 00:12:51,594
Well, I guess you wouldn't want
this package that came for you,
303
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,805
from, uh... Jeff Green.
304
00:12:53,881 --> 00:12:55,899
I got a package
from Jeff Green?
305
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,692
Oh, let me see it.
306
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,911
(jaunty music playing)
(popping)
307
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,704
Wow!
308
00:13:11,065 --> 00:13:13,324
I got invited
to Jeff Green's bar mitzvah.
309
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:14,717
His dad's a dot-commer,
310
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,245
but he got out right
before the bubble burst.
Hmm.
311
00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:19,121
Oh, man.
They're having
a medieval theme,
312
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,165
complete with
knights, maidens,
313
00:13:21,242 --> 00:13:22,425
and a feudal serf.
314
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,419
Wow, that's real velvet,
Uncle Bernie.
315
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,088
Check out the quality.
That's nice.
Yeah.
316
00:13:27,164 --> 00:13:28,881
I mean, I got to
pick out my outfit.
317
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:31,551
I cannot go
to that looking
like a schmendrick.
318
00:13:31,627 --> 00:13:33,812
(jaunty music playing)
(popping)
319
00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:37,098
Look at that!
320
00:13:37,174 --> 00:13:39,350
The boy got an A-list invite.
321
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,102
You see that, America?
322
00:13:41,178 --> 00:13:43,187
If you open yourself up
to new experiences,
323
00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:45,147
the world will reward you.
324
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:48,484
Man, I mean they go all-out
for these things.
325
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,111
The only thing I got
when I was 13
326
00:13:50,187 --> 00:13:52,280
was a water bill
put in my name.
327
00:13:52,356 --> 00:13:53,906
Big Mama said
if I was man enough
328
00:13:53,983 --> 00:13:55,408
to take a shower
twice a day,
329
00:13:55,484 --> 00:13:57,210
I was man enough
to pay for it.
330
00:13:59,488 --> 00:14:00,872
Sweet.
331
00:14:00,948 --> 00:14:02,757
(piano being played badly)
332
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,044
Bryana. Bryana, honey.
Can you keep it down?
333
00:14:07,121 --> 00:14:08,888
I need to make
a quick call.
334
00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:10,807
(phone beeping)
335
00:14:16,213 --> 00:14:18,139
WOMAN (over phone):Oh, I don't know...
336
00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:20,683
WANDA (over phone):Well, Bryana hasn't hadher room for too long.
337
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,477
Oh, please, she won't miss it
when we turn it
into a sewing room.
338
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,188
WOMAN (on phone):Yeah, it's amazing how youngkids just seem to adapt
339
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:27,532
to whatever we throwin front of 'em.
340
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:35,197
Hey, guess whose
bar mitzvah's this Saturday?
I know, can you believe it?
341
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:38,251
Hey, you got to wear
that dress shirt you know,
with the raised collar.
342
00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:39,811
The ladies can't get enough
of that one.
343
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:42,330
Yeah, that would go
well with my new blazer.
344
00:14:42,406 --> 00:14:44,373
So what are
you going to wear?
My father says
345
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,883
that wearing
a black suit
during the reading
346
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,835
of the hoftarah makes me
look more dignified.
347
00:14:47,912 --> 00:14:49,795
We like to keep it
old-school.
348
00:14:49,872 --> 00:14:53,349
Hey, wait a minute.
Why would you be
doing the reading?
349
00:14:54,752 --> 00:14:57,437
It's my bar mitzvah.
(chuckles)
Why wouldn't I be doing it?
350
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:01,265
Oh, yeah.
What was I thinking?
351
00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:03,684
It's going to be
a very small,
traditional party.
352
00:15:03,761 --> 00:15:05,561
You know, just for close
friends and relatives.
353
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,146
And my bubbe's flying
in from Boca.
354
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:09,607
Oh, man!
I just remembered.
355
00:15:09,684 --> 00:15:10,608
I can't go.
356
00:15:10,685 --> 00:15:12,109
(sighs)
357
00:15:12,186 --> 00:15:14,037
I'm going to be
out of town on Saturday.
358
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,113
What? You-you can't.
359
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:17,615
You got to be there.
It's my big day.
360
00:15:17,692 --> 00:15:19,867
I completely forgot
about the trip.
361
00:15:19,944 --> 00:15:21,410
I'm so sorry, D.
362
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,246
Um... I got to go, though.
I'll see you later.
363
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,290
(invitation pops)
364
00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:27,800
(jaunty music playing)
365
00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:31,638
Yo, Jordan! Come here a sec!
366
00:15:33,249 --> 00:15:34,799
Look here, son.
You're an expert.
367
00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:38,135
You think gators are appropriate
for David's bar mitzvah?
368
00:15:38,212 --> 00:15:39,720
Wait, you're going
to David's bar mitzvah?
369
00:15:39,797 --> 00:15:41,430
Yeah, the whole
family was invited.
370
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:42,815
No, but you can't go,
Uncle Bernie.
371
00:15:42,892 --> 00:15:44,433
Why not?
Because I told David
372
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,227
I was going to be
out of town that weekend,
373
00:15:46,303 --> 00:15:47,812
so I could go
to Jeff Green's bar mitzvah.
374
00:15:47,888 --> 00:15:49,438
He's giving away
plasmas.
375
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:50,898
Man...
376
00:15:50,975 --> 00:15:52,525
I thought you
and he was boys.
377
00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:54,735
Man, I can't believe you'd
choose material things
378
00:15:54,812 --> 00:15:56,237
over your friendship.
379
00:15:56,313 --> 00:15:57,863
Wait. I don't think
you heard me.
380
00:15:57,940 --> 00:15:59,073
They're giving away plasmas!
381
00:15:59,150 --> 00:16:01,242
Look, son.
You're 13 now.
382
00:16:01,318 --> 00:16:02,459
I'm not going to
make you go.
383
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,744
You got to make
your own decisions.
384
00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:05,788
But me and the entire
family, we're still going.
385
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,332
But what am I
going to tell David?
I don't know.
386
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,718
You have to figure this
one out on your own.
387
00:16:11,829 --> 00:16:13,295
(groans)
388
00:16:15,624 --> 00:16:19,593
I'm just testing him, America,
like God tested Abraham.
389
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:21,896
I'm not worried.
I know he'll come around.
390
00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:25,433
'Cause doing the right thing is
in the Mac blood. That's right.
391
00:16:25,509 --> 00:16:27,810
Except for maybe his mama.
392
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,655
Well, his daddy's blood ain't
too healthy, either, but...
393
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:35,743
Okay. I'm a little worried.
394
00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:45,244
(sighs)
I just didn't know
how to tell you, so I lied.
395
00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:47,964
(sighs)
I just didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
396
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,542
Hurt my feelings?
No, no. It's fine.
397
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:53,085
You know, if you're cool
not being there,
398
00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:54,420
I'm cool with you
not being there.
399
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,140
(sighs)
I'm glad you understand.
400
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:59,142
Well, I'll see you later, D.
401
00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:08,434
See? That's what I was
worried about, America.
402
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,353
The boy ain't like Abraham,
he's like his daddy:
403
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:14,273
running out on folks,
not showing up,
404
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:15,608
breaking promises.
405
00:17:15,684 --> 00:17:16,784
Oy vay.
406
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,446
A son of the commandment
understands
407
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:23,032
that friendships enrich
and strengthen
408
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,701
our wisdom and character.
409
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,788
(Jordan sighs)
True friends are those
who have a meaningful
410
00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,290
and lasting relationship.
411
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:34,960
The material gains
of this world are temporary,
412
00:17:35,037 --> 00:17:37,805
but true friendship
lasts a lifetime.
413
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,258
So when the final
chapter is written,
414
00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:44,553
God will look into the hearts
of man and ask:
415
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,472
Who are you with?
416
00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:49,650
(pants) Uh...
417
00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:55,689
So mazel tov
to my cousin, David.
418
00:17:55,766 --> 00:17:58,234
May he never find himself
on the wrong side
419
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,111
of an isosceles triangle.
420
00:18:00,187 --> 00:18:02,830
(laughter and applause)
421
00:18:04,358 --> 00:18:07,076
Now that we've had all
of David's family up here,
422
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,377
it's time
for some of his friends
423
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,546
to come up
and light a candle.
424
00:18:13,242 --> 00:18:14,550
(Someone clears throat)
425
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:16,928
(soft murmuring)
426
00:18:22,918 --> 00:18:24,260
Bernie.
What?
427
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:25,344
You got to get up there
and say something
428
00:18:25,421 --> 00:18:26,521
on Jordan's behalf.
429
00:18:27,381 --> 00:18:28,848
I don't think David
has any friends.
430
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:31,851
Come on, now Wanda.
I don't want go up there.
431
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:33,853
What am I supposed to say?
I don't know these people.
432
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:36,689
I don't know.
You're a comedian;
say something funny.
433
00:18:36,765 --> 00:18:38,524
Fine.
434
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:40,151
JORDAN:
I-I'd like to say something.
435
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,168
(soft gasping, murmuring)
436
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,495
MAN: Okay.
WOMAN: Yeah.
437
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,997
I once heard a rabbi say
that a friend
438
00:18:53,073 --> 00:18:56,167
is someone who sees my faults
better than I see them myself,
439
00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:59,679
but has the patience
and the grace to forgive.
440
00:18:59,755 --> 00:19:03,132
CROWD: Aw...
To my friend, David.
441
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,884
(speaking Hebrew)
442
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,596
(applause)
443
00:19:08,672 --> 00:19:10,565
Mazel tov!
444
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:13,609
That's sweet.
445
00:19:14,345 --> 00:19:15,945
CROWD: Aw...
446
00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:18,906
What a mensch.
447
00:19:21,101 --> 00:19:22,401
Yeah!
448
00:19:22,478 --> 00:19:25,029
BERNIE:
I wouldn't mind at all.
449
00:19:25,105 --> 00:19:27,165
Whew! I cannot
do another horah.
450
00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:28,791
My feet are killing me.
(Wanda chuckles)
451
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,911
I really need to go
talk to David's cousin, Abe.
452
00:19:31,987 --> 00:19:33,495
He's a podiatrist.
453
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,382
Son, you did real good today.
454
00:19:36,459 --> 00:19:38,209
And I know it must've
been real hard for you
455
00:19:38,285 --> 00:19:39,793
to come here today,
now wasn't it?
456
00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:41,795
Yeah.
457
00:19:41,872 --> 00:19:45,090
I know I was wrong.
But David's a good friend.
458
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,592
I shouldn't
have treated him like that.
459
00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:50,262
You know what, son?
It might be his bar mitzvah,
460
00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:52,723
but today, you're a man.
461
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,560
Come on, Jordan.
We're doing the Electric Slide.
Right.
462
00:19:56,637 --> 00:19:59,021
What happened to his foot?
I don't know.
463
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,023
SINGER: ♪ It's electric ♪
464
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,483
Hey, Aunt Wanda?
Mm-hmm?
465
00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:05,069
Um, when we get home,
can you help me
466
00:20:05,145 --> 00:20:06,946
spruce up my
drill team outfit?
467
00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:10,074
I was thinking we
can put some tassels
and sequins on it.
468
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:13,285
Really make it pop.
Yes, of course.
I think that would be fun.
469
00:20:13,362 --> 00:20:17,122
And you know what?
I just ordered enough
new sewing machine equipment
470
00:20:17,199 --> 00:20:18,341
to fill up the whole room.
471
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,042
VANESSA:
Hey,
472
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,460
maybe I can make
some extra money
473
00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:23,671
doing alterations
for my friends.
474
00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:27,549
We could even start
our own business,
right out of the house.
475
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:29,468
Now you're thinking.
(both laughing)
476
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,553
Uncle Bernie, please don't
let Aunt Wanda take my room!
477
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:33,555
Girl, what you talking about?
478
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:35,140
I heard Aunt Wanda
on the phone,
479
00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:36,850
and she said
she was gonna kick me out
480
00:20:36,927 --> 00:20:39,144
and turn my room
into a sewing room.
481
00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:42,856
Aunt Wanda can't sew.
Baby, why you
teasing the girl?
482
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,650
I'm trying to teach
her a lesson.
Well, if you're trying
483
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,777
to teach her a lesson,
just teach her.
484
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,445
You know, instead
of scheming and plotting,
485
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:49,746
just come direct with her.
486
00:20:49,824 --> 00:20:51,782
Look at her.
You got Baby Girl all upset.
487
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,993
Thank you,
Uncle Bernie.
You're welcome.
488
00:20:54,069 --> 00:20:55,995
Now I know why you spend
an extra day on the road
489
00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:57,262
instead of coming
straight home.
490
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,631
(spits drink)
What?
491
00:20:58,708 --> 00:20:59,674
What?
492
00:21:00,909 --> 00:21:02,835
You're intercepting
text messages now, huh?
493
00:21:02,911 --> 00:21:04,295
Let me tell you
something, Baby Girl,
494
00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:05,988
if these white folks
wasn't here,
495
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,673
I'd break you off
a little something.
I'm not kidding with you.
496
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:10,843
America,
I got the boy on track,
497
00:21:10,919 --> 00:21:12,511
but now I
have to teach that girl
498
00:21:12,588 --> 00:21:14,555
to keep her damn mouth shut.
499
00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,899
Now I got to come
straight home.
500
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,693
Messed up my tee time.
501
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,524
And, anytime
(indistinct)...
502
00:21:25,601 --> 00:21:27,276
I'm just testing
them, America.
503
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,028
Like God taste...
504
00:21:29,104 --> 00:21:30,487
Ah...
505
00:21:30,564 --> 00:21:32,323
Hoo...
506
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:33,666
Watch this.
507
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,785
Olé!
508
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,788
(man laughing)
509
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,090
What is it? Oy vay?
510
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,624
Oy vay!
Not Olé!
511
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:43,384
Okay.
512
00:21:43,461 --> 00:21:45,169
(all laughing)
513
00:21:45,245 --> 00:21:46,637
MAN: (indistinct)
514
00:21:50,834 --> 00:21:52,310
Oy vay.
515
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,316
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