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(theme music playing)
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00:00:19,669 --> 00:00:20,844
DR. LYONS: Unfortunately,
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00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,013
the Clomid didn't do the job,
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00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,315
so I'm going to give you
a drug called Pergonal.
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00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,350
Pergonal?
Is that a stronger pill?
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00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:28,977
Well, it's stronger,
but it's not a pill.
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It's an injectable.
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Oh.
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00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:32,948
You mean a shot?
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Correct.
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Bernie, he means a shot.
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I can't be
taking no shots.
(mutters)
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My wife, she's a little
afraid of needles.
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00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:40,664
Is it going to hurt?
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00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,365
Well, yes.
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00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:43,667
It's a shot.
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(chuckling)
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00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,046
So you'll have an injection
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once a day, and--
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BERNIE: Oh, oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
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You mean to tell me that my wife
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has to come here every day?
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The injections
are to be done at home.
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00:00:54,305 --> 00:00:55,720
Oh, someone's
coming to the house.
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DR. LYONS: Uh, no,
either you or your husband
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00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:58,882
will give the injection.
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Excuse me?
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00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,677
Wh-Wha-- husband?
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00:01:02,754 --> 00:01:04,012
Whose husband?
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00:01:04,089 --> 00:01:05,046
I-I-I-I can't do it.
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I-I-I-I c-- I can't do it.
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I ain't no doctor.
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Hell, I don't even play
one on TV.
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How am I supposed to stick
a needle in my wife?
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Suppose I do it wrong...
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00:01:14,891 --> 00:01:16,691
nick a organ or something?
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00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,826
Poke her spleen?
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No, no, no, no.
This is messed up.
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I-I-I-I can't do it, America.
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00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,534
Now, it's-it's really
very, very simple.
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You just-- you just
stick the needle
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00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,538
into the skin just like that.
43
00:01:29,614 --> 00:01:31,873
Now do you see?
It's a very deliberate motion.
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Don't be tentative.
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You just stick it right on in.
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Don't make little tiny
pricks like that.
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Just one...
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one motion right like that,
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and then just push the Pergonal
right... right on in.
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It's really
very, very simple.
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Did you see that, Wanda?
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I got to lay down.
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I don't know how my baby
can get used to that.
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Is that somebody's Botox?
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Can I put it in the lips?
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00:01:50,135 --> 00:01:52,644
(Bernie laughing)
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WANDA: What is it?
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Oh, okay.
Squeeze on in there, baby.
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All right.
Mm.
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00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,745
Here. I made this for you.
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00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,321
Oh, thank you,
sweetheart.
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00:02:03,398 --> 00:02:06,241
I wish I had a purple
suit like this.
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00:02:06,318 --> 00:02:07,951
But who's the fat lady?
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00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,620
It's Aunt Wanda,
but she's not fat.
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She's pregnant.
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00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:12,873
Oh...
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00:02:12,949 --> 00:02:14,332
Well, now that gives
me something
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00:02:14,409 --> 00:02:16,042
to look forward to.
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00:02:16,119 --> 00:02:18,295
Aw, thank you, sugar.
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00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,297
Now, this is about
as sweet as you.
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00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,724
Why do I got to be
so pregnant, though?
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00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,019
Nice...
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00:02:26,096 --> 00:02:27,496
if you like cave art.
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00:02:28,506 --> 00:02:30,348
Maybe later you can show me
how to make fire.
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I don't see you going around
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00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,144
doing nice things for people.
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00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,812
That was nice of you,
sweetheart.
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00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,607
That's why you're my favorite.
Bernie, that's awful.
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00:02:38,683 --> 00:02:40,117
We don't have
no favorites. Come on.
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I do.
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00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:43,287
Come on.
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Time for your fix.
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00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:47,365
Wait, you're actually
going through with this?
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00:02:47,442 --> 00:02:50,210
You're going to let him
give you a shot every day?
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00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:52,746
No pain, no gain.
(chuckles)
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BERNIE: Come on.
(whispering) Pray for me.
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00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:57,667
Okay, what are you doing?
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Stick me.
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00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:05,175
Come on.
Just a second.
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00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:06,343
Wish my sister
was here.
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00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,178
She's good
with needles...
92
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,221
and pipes, too.
93
00:03:09,297 --> 00:03:11,106
Would you stick me already?
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00:03:11,183 --> 00:03:13,183
Don't worry!
95
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Why you got to be such a...
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00:03:14,811 --> 00:03:16,069
(screams) Whoa!
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00:03:16,146 --> 00:03:18,021
You know what else I can't
get used to, America?
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Side effects.
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00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:21,942
See, some drugs make you queasy.
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00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,276
Others give you headaches
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00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:25,654
or dry mouth.
102
00:03:25,730 --> 00:03:27,414
But this...
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00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,951
Old cartoons are the best,
I'm telling you.
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I know.
(sobbing)
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00:03:34,072 --> 00:03:36,840
Aunt Wanda,
why are you crying?
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00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:37,999
Because...
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00:03:38,076 --> 00:03:42,045
there's no more
mayonnaise.
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00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,213
I can't eat a sandwich
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00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,891
without mayonnaise.
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It-- it just...
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it don't taste the same.
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America, this drug
makes her crazy.
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Nut house crazy.
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00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:57,978
Cousin Scooney,
"you like to hide
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in the basement" crazy.
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This stuff right here.
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VANESSA:Have you guys thought about
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00:04:05,353 --> 00:04:06,611
what it would be like
if Uncle Bernie
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and Aunt Wanda
had a baby?
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00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,240
I'm gonna be
a big sister.
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00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,242
Yeah, you keep scarfing
down those cookies,
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00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,369
and you'll be
a real big sister...
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00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:16,371
but you'll still only
be the baby's cousin.
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Uh-uh, Uncle Bernie said
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I'm gonna be
a big sister.
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00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,959
He said
that I would be
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the best big
sister ever.
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00:04:22,537 --> 00:04:24,421
Yeah, well,
I'm going to be a cousin...
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00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:25,755
a distant, distant cousin,
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00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,475
'cause I'm not letting any baby
cramp my style.
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00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:30,385
What style?
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00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:32,470
JORDAN: My "not smelling
like poo" style.
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00:04:32,547 --> 00:04:35,390
'Cause I'm definitely not
changing any diapers.
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00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:37,017
I'm not getting puked on,
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00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,819
burped on or peed on.
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00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:41,187
But you have fun.
137
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:42,906
Don't you think
it's going to be fun?
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00:04:46,061 --> 00:04:47,068
(giggling)
139
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♪ Do the tighten up... ♪
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BRYANA:
Uncle Bernie, don't forget
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my play on Thursday.
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00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:52,966
Oh, you're the lead.
143
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,267
I wouldn't miss it
for nothing in the world.
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00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:56,119
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo... ♪
WANDA: Oh, honey?
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00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,288
BERNIE: Hmm?
The baby's doctor's
appointment is Thursday.
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00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,206
Oh, well, maybe we'll get
one of the teachers
147
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,382
to take a picture.
148
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,168
♪ Doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪
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00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:04,377
♪ Doo, doo ♪
150
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:06,305
(Wanda speaking baby talk)
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00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,474
Yeah. It'll be great.
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00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:23,229
I was hoping this...
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00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:24,564
would be the last
of my doing this.
154
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,408
I really don't enjoy doing it.
155
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,861
What are you
complaining about?
156
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,581
What, do you think
I like being a pincushion?
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00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:34,750
(sighs)
158
00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,577
Sorry, honey.
159
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,255
I don't know
where these things come from.
160
00:05:40,332 --> 00:05:41,331
It's like I open my mouth,
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00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:44,084
and this awful person is...
162
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,919
talking through it.
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00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:46,887
Sorry.
164
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,923
Well, sweetheart,
I know it's the drugs.
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00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:51,257
I know that.
166
00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,894
If it wasn't, I would've
been calling a priest.
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That's funny.
168
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:56,938
(gasps) Ooh.
169
00:05:59,175 --> 00:06:00,484
There you go.
170
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,602
This'll be
the last month of this.
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00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:03,978
You'll see.
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00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,614
Come here.
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00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:06,606
Come on.
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00:06:06,683 --> 00:06:07,607
(whines)
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00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:09,234
It's okay.
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00:06:09,310 --> 00:06:11,277
It's okay.
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00:06:11,354 --> 00:06:12,445
I love you.
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00:06:12,522 --> 00:06:15,407
(upbeat music playing)
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00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:17,367
SINGER:♪ Let's tighten it up now ♪
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00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,327
♪ Do the tighten up ♪
181
00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:21,505
♪ Everybody can do it now ♪
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00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,081
♪ So get to it ♪
183
00:06:23,158 --> 00:06:25,041
♪ We're gonna tighten up ♪
184
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,960
♪ Let's do the tighten up ♪
185
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,962
♪ You can do it now ♪
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00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:30,505
♪ So baby, get to it ♪
187
00:06:30,582 --> 00:06:32,432
♪ Look to your left now ♪
188
00:06:32,509 --> 00:06:34,467
♪ Look to your right ♪
189
00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:36,311
♪ Everybody can do it ♪
190
00:06:36,388 --> 00:06:37,971
♪ But don't you get too tight♪
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00:06:38,047 --> 00:06:39,172
Ooh.
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00:06:39,249 --> 00:06:40,390
SINGER:♪ Come on and tighten up ♪
193
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,142
♪ Let's tighten it up now ♪
194
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,185
♪ Let's tighten it up now ♪
195
00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:46,488
♪ Tighten it up ♪
196
00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:50,316
So...
197
00:06:50,393 --> 00:06:52,402
what you're saying
is it's...
198
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,154
not gonna happen?
DR. LYONS: I'm saying that
199
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:55,280
with the course of action
200
00:06:55,356 --> 00:06:56,573
we're currently taking,
201
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,283
it doesn't look likely.
202
00:06:58,359 --> 00:07:00,493
Look here, Doc,
we tried shots,
203
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:02,036
pills, inseminations,
204
00:07:02,113 --> 00:07:04,247
and all sorts of things.
205
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,499
Is there any other course
we can take?
206
00:07:06,576 --> 00:07:08,168
In vitro.
BERNIE: Like, you mean
207
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:09,627
test-tube baby?
208
00:07:09,704 --> 00:07:10,703
Well...
209
00:07:10,781 --> 00:07:12,338
we don't like to call it
that anymore,
210
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:13,640
but, uh, yes.
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00:07:15,285 --> 00:07:17,552
DR. LYONS: You'll discontinue
taking the shot you normally do,
212
00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:18,595
but we'll add one more drug
213
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:19,971
that needs to be injected.
214
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,140
This causes multiple eggs
to drop.
215
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:23,558
Unfortunately...
216
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:25,527
it also has a certain
side effect.
217
00:07:26,221 --> 00:07:27,353
What sort of side effect?
218
00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:28,605
DR. LYONS:
Well, it's been known
219
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,191
to make women act a little...
220
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,576
irrational.
221
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,486
I'm used to that.
222
00:07:34,562 --> 00:07:36,178
(whispers)
Better watch it.
223
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,530
DR. LYONS:
In any event, at ovulation,
224
00:07:37,607 --> 00:07:38,957
instead of doing
an insemination,
225
00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:40,116
we will harvest the eggs
226
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,534
and fertilize them in a lab.
227
00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:43,161
The embryos are then implanted
228
00:07:43,238 --> 00:07:44,403
in the lining
of Wanda's uterus,
229
00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:46,039
and you'll carry them to term
230
00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:47,090
like any normal mother.
231
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,884
(sighs)
232
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:51,828
Normal?
233
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:53,004
Sounds about as normal
234
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,631
as cloning a sheep.
235
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,549
We want a love child, America,
236
00:07:56,626 --> 00:07:59,177
not a science project.
237
00:07:59,254 --> 00:08:00,061
Mm-mm.
238
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,547
You know what, Doc?
239
00:08:02,624 --> 00:08:04,733
My wife, she's been
through a lot...
240
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,894
and I think we...
241
00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,437
need to go home
and think on this one.
242
00:08:09,514 --> 00:08:11,689
I understand.
You go home and discuss it.
243
00:08:11,766 --> 00:08:13,233
We'll take a breath
this month,
244
00:08:13,309 --> 00:08:15,485
and if you decide to do
the in vitro,
245
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,694
we'll start
the new drug
246
00:08:16,771 --> 00:08:18,580
at the start
of your next cycle.
247
00:08:19,148 --> 00:08:20,740
Okay?
248
00:08:20,817 --> 00:08:21,917
Okay.
249
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:24,202
Thank you, Doc.
250
00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:25,420
DR. LYONS: You're welcome.
251
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:28,965
(dishes clattering)
252
00:08:38,042 --> 00:08:38,850
What?
253
00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:41,636
What, you think this is
a magical experience
254
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,555
and the dishes
just wash themselves?
255
00:08:43,631 --> 00:08:45,515
"Magical experience"?
What are you talking about?
256
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:47,308
You know damn well
what I'm talking about.
257
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,726
Come on, now, I work hard.
258
00:08:48,803 --> 00:08:50,311
Is it too much
for me to come home
259
00:08:50,388 --> 00:08:51,947
and expect you not
to hand me a glass?
260
00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:54,658
Um...
261
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,943
sorry?
(sighs) Ungrateful...
262
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,945
What you think this is,
a five-star hotel
263
00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:00,346
with room service?
264
00:09:00,423 --> 00:09:01,614
I'll tell you where
your five-star hotel is.
265
00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:03,408
It's right there
on the corner, honey.
266
00:09:03,484 --> 00:09:04,784
$899 a night.
267
00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:06,002
It's the drugs.
268
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,954
I heard Uncle Bernie say
that they're turning her
269
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:09,581
into a wack-a-doo.
270
00:09:09,657 --> 00:09:12,750
I saw her get mad at the
fat lady from The View.
271
00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:15,128
It'll all get better once
they get pregnant, though.
272
00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:15,971
(scoffs)
273
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,539
You guys just
don't get it, do you?
274
00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:20,633
Once they get pregnant,
things'll be worse.
275
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,143
What do you mean?
276
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:23,553
Look, I didn't want to have
to tell you guys this,
277
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,305
but you need to be prepared.
278
00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,724
A baby changes everything.
Like how?
279
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,309
VANESSA:
Like things'll be different.
280
00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:30,535
You won't be Uncle Bernie's
281
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,353
cute little favorite Baby Girl
282
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:33,855
if they have their own
baby girl.
283
00:09:33,931 --> 00:09:34,981
(snickers)
284
00:09:35,058 --> 00:09:36,482
Now you know how I feel.
285
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,359
VANESSA: I don't know
what you're laughing at.
286
00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:40,028
If it's a boy,
Uncle Bernie won't even
287
00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:41,613
remember you're here.
288
00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:43,072
I've been through
this before,
289
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,282
twice.
290
00:09:44,359 --> 00:09:46,835
A baby changes everything.
291
00:09:52,533 --> 00:09:54,292
Baby, what are you doing?
292
00:09:54,369 --> 00:09:55,668
Nothing.
You are.
293
00:09:55,745 --> 00:09:56,969
You're over-cleaning.
294
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,597
And every time
you over-clean,
295
00:09:58,673 --> 00:09:59,839
you either do that
when something
296
00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:02,634
is bothering you
or when you're drunk,
297
00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,677
and I don't smell any mojitos.
298
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:06,471
I'm ovulating, okay?
299
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:08,431
I'm ovulating
and we're wasting it.
300
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,382
We're not wasting it.
301
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:10,892
We decided to take a month off.
302
00:10:10,968 --> 00:10:12,977
WANDA: What if this is
the good egg, okay?
303
00:10:13,054 --> 00:10:15,021
And what if
this is the only one
304
00:10:15,098 --> 00:10:16,031
that ever works?
305
00:10:16,107 --> 00:10:18,024
I wouldn't worry
too much about it.
306
00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:20,785
This egg probably does
just like the rest of 'em.
307
00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:24,197
What?
308
00:10:24,273 --> 00:10:25,031
WANDA:
You know, I don't,
309
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,324
I don't...
310
00:10:26,401 --> 00:10:28,326
I don't know what to do.
311
00:10:28,403 --> 00:10:29,494
You know?
312
00:10:29,570 --> 00:10:32,255
Do we really want
to go through this?
313
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,423
I can't decide that.
314
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,625
You have to decide that.
315
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:39,253
But I kinda got
used to the fact that
316
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,631
I want to have a little kid
running around here.
317
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,966
A little mini Mac
sort of thing, you know?
318
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,094
Yeah, I have, too.
319
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:48,346
You know, it's just this
in-vitro stuff.
320
00:10:48,423 --> 00:10:50,431
It doesn't exactly scream
321
00:10:50,508 --> 00:10:51,816
"love child," you know?
322
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,477
Sweetheart, any child we have
323
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,945
is going to be a love child...
324
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,658
because we're going to love it.
325
00:11:01,686 --> 00:11:03,861
All right,
I will call Dr. Lyons
326
00:11:03,938 --> 00:11:06,114
and make an appointment
tomorrow.
327
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,241
Shoot, baby.
328
00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:11,294
I'm thinking about making
an appointment right now,
329
00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:14,214
if you get my drift.
330
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,094
(bell ringing)
331
00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:31,180
Another C-minus.
332
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,516
Jordan, is everything
all right at home?
333
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,852
I think so. Why?
334
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:38,104
TEACHER: Well, I scheduled
a parent-teacher conference
335
00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:39,480
with your aunt
and uncle for last night,
336
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:40,365
but they didn't show.
337
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,400
They didn't?
338
00:11:42,477 --> 00:11:43,952
Didn't call today, either.
339
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:45,945
That's not like them.
340
00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:48,281
I assume something came up.
341
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:51,826
(upbeat music playing)
342
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,619
BERNIE: Yeah, baby!
343
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:54,704
Yeah, baby!
344
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,132
(Wanda and Bernie giggle)
345
00:11:57,825 --> 00:11:59,584
Yeah, they were busy,
346
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:01,836
real busy.
347
00:12:01,913 --> 00:12:03,796
I can't believe
how much I lucked out.
348
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:07,133
Two C-minuses and I didn't
even get in trouble.
349
00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:08,267
Congratulations.
350
00:12:08,345 --> 00:12:09,519
Uncle Bernie and Aunt Wanda
351
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,846
officially don't care
about you anymore.
352
00:12:11,923 --> 00:12:13,806
Oh, why'd you have to ruin it?
353
00:12:13,883 --> 00:12:15,942
They still care about me.
354
00:12:19,189 --> 00:12:21,314
Aunt Wanda,
can you cut the crust
355
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:22,832
off my sandwich?
356
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,484
Oh, come on, sweetie,
now, you can do that yourself.
357
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,235
You're not a baby
anymore, okay?
358
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,328
See you later.
359
00:12:28,523 --> 00:12:29,539
Am, too.
360
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:30,490
VANESSA: See?
361
00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:31,616
It's starting already
362
00:12:31,692 --> 00:12:33,001
and they're not
even pregnant yet.
363
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,256
BERNIE: Wanda!
364
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:40,500
Yo, Wanda, babe!
365
00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:42,585
Where are you, honey?
366
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,379
Wanda?
367
00:12:45,456 --> 00:12:46,464
Wanda, come on, baby,
368
00:12:46,541 --> 00:12:49,142
we got to go see Dr. Lyons.
369
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,685
Wanda?
370
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:52,854
Hey, baby,
371
00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:54,180
didn't you hear
me calling you?
372
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:55,473
Hmm?
373
00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:56,816
Come on. We got to go.
374
00:12:58,094 --> 00:12:59,894
What? Uh...
375
00:12:59,971 --> 00:13:02,155
uh, no, no, no,
we're not going.
376
00:13:02,232 --> 00:13:03,205
What?
377
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:06,359
I peed on the stick
378
00:13:06,435 --> 00:13:07,744
and it's blue.
379
00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:10,580
Like, I just,
380
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,199
I woke up this morning
and I-I just knew.
381
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:16,169
(upbeat music playing)
382
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,340
I mean...
383
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:21,707
I mean-- I mean, you...
384
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:23,209
we're...?
(laughs)
385
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:26,638
SINGER:♪ When you wish upon a star ♪
386
00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:28,548
What that mean?
387
00:13:28,624 --> 00:13:30,132
Well, honey,
according to the box,
388
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,393
when it's a blessing,
it's blue.
389
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:34,896
It means I'm pregnant.
390
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,609
(stifled sob)
391
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,819
That's what it means.
392
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,188
Aw...
393
00:13:44,265 --> 00:13:46,732
Oh, baby,
I'm so happy for...
394
00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:48,409
SINGER:♪ Shining bright to see ♪
395
00:13:51,823 --> 00:13:54,415
That's right, America.
396
00:13:54,492 --> 00:13:55,825
Wanda and I are going to have
397
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,411
our own love child after all.
398
00:13:58,487 --> 00:13:59,662
See, turns out
399
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,539
the only fertility drug
we needed
400
00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:04,333
was a love drug
called Bernie Mac.
401
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:07,879
My potency will not be denied.
402
00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:10,056
Oh, man.
403
00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:13,184
Wait a minute.
404
00:14:14,712 --> 00:14:16,062
Oh, Lord.
405
00:14:17,381 --> 00:14:19,348
America...
406
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,693
I'm going to be a daddy.
407
00:14:22,553 --> 00:14:24,195
Hey, Nessa,
408
00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:26,564
you feel like handing
your uncle a glass?
409
00:14:26,641 --> 00:14:29,400
(upbeat music over radio)
410
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,077
You want one,
Aunt Wanda?
411
00:14:32,063 --> 00:14:34,030
Uh, no, thank you,
sweetie.
412
00:14:34,106 --> 00:14:35,823
SINGER: ♪ Go find somebody ♪
413
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,284
♪ Come join the party ♪
414
00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:40,453
♪ Go grab somebody ♪
415
00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:42,338
Mm, thank you, baby.
416
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,852
Hi.
417
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,220
You're pregnant,
aren't you?
418
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,230
No.
419
00:15:01,258 --> 00:15:03,059
A little.
420
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,320
Okay, a lot.
Can you believe it?
421
00:15:06,597 --> 00:15:08,606
Wow. Congratulations.
422
00:15:08,683 --> 00:15:09,908
Thank you.
423
00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:15,154
Well, I guess
we're all in
424
00:15:15,231 --> 00:15:16,748
for a few changes
around here.
425
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,566
Does anyone else know?
426
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,377
No, and don't you
tell nobody.
427
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,621
Sorry.
428
00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:24,881
A little hormonal.
429
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,009
I'm glad you know.
430
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:31,170
And it feels good
to share it.
431
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,923
But until I'm out
of the danger zone,
432
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,809
I don't want to tell your sister
or your brother, okay?
433
00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:38,519
Sure.
434
00:15:41,849 --> 00:15:42,899
She's pregnant.
435
00:15:52,309 --> 00:15:53,785
(door opens)
436
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,572
Hi, Wanda.
Hi.
437
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,241
I just spoke
with the specialist
438
00:16:00,317 --> 00:16:03,878
and he agrees
with my diagnosis.
439
00:16:04,989 --> 00:16:07,298
That, that I'm not pregnant?
440
00:16:10,786 --> 00:16:12,920
Oh, come on. I took the test.
It said...
441
00:16:12,997 --> 00:16:14,663
DOCTOR:
I know. It's common.
442
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,225
The medical term
is "chemical pregnancy."
443
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,802
What does that mean?
444
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,470
Wanda, I don't want
to upset you any more.
445
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,222
You can't right now, okay?
446
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,057
Okay.
447
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,610
What happens is you actually
have a fertilized egg,
448
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,602
but it doesn't adhere...
449
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:29,821
Stop.
450
00:16:30,931 --> 00:16:32,606
DOCTOR: I'm sorry.
451
00:16:32,683 --> 00:16:34,442
Yeah, me, too.
452
00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:35,568
Let me give you some time.
453
00:16:35,644 --> 00:16:37,236
I just need a minute.
454
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:38,246
Okay.
455
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,471
(crickets chirping)
456
00:16:59,794 --> 00:17:01,510
That feels nice.
457
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,512
Thank you, honey.
458
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:04,513
You know, I just,
459
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,524
I can't go on with this story.
460
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,812
You're such a sweet man, honey.
461
00:17:11,889 --> 00:17:13,272
I didn't even ask you
462
00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:15,566
how are you feeling
about this whole thing.
463
00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:16,993
BERNIE: A little sad,
you know?
464
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,278
Every man want a son.
465
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:22,239
Someone he can teach
a joke or, you know,
466
00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,542
teach him how to throw
a curveball.
467
00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:27,244
You know what, Wanda?
It'd be nice
468
00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:29,464
to have a little man
walk around the house.
469
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,050
WOMAN (narrating on TV):There was a little Wilbur,
470
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:42,676
looking for his family.
471
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,970
PENGUIN (on TV):I'm so alone.
472
00:17:45,047 --> 00:17:46,889
Help me find mymommy and my daddy...
473
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,182
Jordan, do you think
it's true
474
00:17:48,259 --> 00:17:49,984
what Vanessa
said about me
475
00:17:50,061 --> 00:17:52,478
not being Uncle Bernie's
favorite anymore?
476
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:56,690
Oh, who cares? At least
you were his favorite.
477
00:17:56,767 --> 00:17:58,359
All right, come on.
Let's go, kids.
478
00:17:58,435 --> 00:17:59,693
Time to go to bed,
let's wash up
479
00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:01,913
and get ready for bed.
Let's go.
480
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:04,406
What?
481
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:05,449
Up.
482
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:09,212
Up what?
Up like you used to.
483
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:12,081
Baby Girl, I ain't upped you
since you was half that size.
484
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,833
And now you're
10 year old.
485
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:15,084
You're too big.
486
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,086
Come on. You, too.
487
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,295
Want to go fishing tomorrow?
488
00:18:18,372 --> 00:18:19,430
No. Let's go.
489
00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:24,510
Up?!
490
00:18:24,587 --> 00:18:26,637
(upbeat music playing)
491
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:27,596
Morning, Uncle Bernie.
492
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,431
Good morning, Baby Girl.
493
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:30,532
Ow!
494
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,101
Baby Girl,
what's wrong with you?
495
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,561
You trying
to rupture me?
496
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:35,604
But you always used
to let me sit on your lap.
497
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,398
You're too big
for that now!
498
00:18:37,474 --> 00:18:40,034
Save it for Santa Claus
when you go to the mall.
499
00:18:40,111 --> 00:18:42,736
And give him
a warning first.
500
00:18:42,813 --> 00:18:45,156
But am I still
your Baby Girl?
501
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,115
What?
502
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,576
"Are you still my--"?
(crash)
503
00:18:48,652 --> 00:18:49,460
What the?!
504
00:18:52,072 --> 00:18:53,756
Damn kids!
505
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,458
It's my Ernie Banks ball.
506
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:57,468
Jordan!
507
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,296
Jordan!
508
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:01,513
Jordan,
509
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,132
what the heck's wrong
with you, boy,
510
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:03,975
huh?
511
00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:05,342
I can't throw a curveball.
512
00:19:05,419 --> 00:19:07,136
BERNIE: The heck
with your doggone curveball!
513
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:08,554
You threw my Mr. Cub
514
00:19:08,631 --> 00:19:11,348
and broke my doggone window.
515
00:19:11,425 --> 00:19:14,777
Talking about you can't
throw a curveball.
516
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,395
Must be crazy.
You know what?
517
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,022
I got...
518
00:19:18,098 --> 00:19:20,441
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
519
00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:21,642
Jordan...
520
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:24,153
did you overhear me
and your aunt
521
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,663
talking last night?
522
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:32,161
I'll be danged.
523
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:35,706
America, I feel terrible.
524
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,333
I didn't mean...
525
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:40,094
I mean, I don't want
the boy to feel...
526
00:19:40,171 --> 00:19:41,512
And Baby Girl--
527
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,006
no wonder those kids
acting so crazy.
528
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,009
Here we were so focused
on having a baby,
529
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,636
that we were neglecting the kids
530
00:19:48,712 --> 00:19:50,229
we already have.
531
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,191
America...
532
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,352
I'm sorry.
533
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:59,146
So we might as well set
the record straight.
534
00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:00,356
Oh, great, here it comes.
535
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:01,390
They're getting rid of us.
536
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,567
What?
Why would you say that?
537
00:20:03,644 --> 00:20:04,910
Yeah?
538
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,761
I mean, come on,
you guys.
539
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:06,987
It's been four years.
540
00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:08,530
We're a family.
541
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:09,657
You're all our kids.
542
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:11,033
We love you all, too.
543
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:11,834
JORDAN: But what about
those things
544
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,577
I heard you say
last night?
545
00:20:13,654 --> 00:20:14,695
Look, Jordan,
546
00:20:14,772 --> 00:20:16,547
you're never
gonna be a Barry Bonds.
547
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,041
But guess what?
548
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:21,835
Barry Bonds is never
gonna be a Jordan.
549
00:20:21,912 --> 00:20:23,846
Jordan, you have some
special qualities about you
550
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,257
that I only hope
if I ever had a son,
551
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,092
I would like him
to have the same ones.
552
00:20:28,168 --> 00:20:29,185
Can I teach him magic?
553
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,720
Nope, but you can
teach him how to be
554
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:32,596
a great person.
555
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,399
So, obviously,
556
00:20:35,476 --> 00:20:38,102
everyone knows
I'm not pregnant.
557
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,862
Straight?
Any more concerns?
558
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,981
BRYANA:
Am I still your Baby Girl?
559
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,741
If you live to be
a million and two.
560
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:45,785
We cool?
561
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:49,071
Yeah, we're good.
562
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,355
BERNIE: Good.
563
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,408
Wanda and I meant
every word we said
564
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:53,909
to those kids.
565
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,828
They're not for sale.
566
00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:56,879
But that don't mean things
567
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,914
ain't gonna change around here.
568
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,024
Let's go for a ride.
569
00:21:00,101 --> 00:21:02,042
Hey, you see that
little, uh, fair
570
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:02,918
they got down there?
571
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,044
With the roller-coaster
572
00:21:04,121 --> 00:21:05,587
that goes all the way up,
573
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,089
then it come all
the way down, real--
574
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,465
(imitates whooshing)
575
00:21:08,542 --> 00:21:09,633
Shoots down like that, then--
576
00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:10,751
(imitates whooshing)
577
00:21:10,828 --> 00:21:13,137
Zoom, zoom, zigzags
and everything.
578
00:21:13,213 --> 00:21:14,188
(imitates whooshing)
579
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,102
can I do like Botox
580
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,420
and put it in her lip?
581
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:24,156
DR. LYONS: No. Uh,
that's not quite right.
582
00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:25,107
You need to put it
in the arm
583
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,442
or any-- any
place that has
584
00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:27,884
a lot of muscle--
Or throat. Can I--
585
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,253
No, you don't want
to put it in her throat.
586
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,654
You could-- you could
kill her, actually,
587
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:32,489
if you did that wrong.
So you just--
588
00:21:32,566 --> 00:21:34,325
Give me a couple.
Give me a couple of them.
589
00:21:34,401 --> 00:21:36,419
You want to try it?
Yeah.
590
00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:39,163
Okay, here.
(man shouts in distance)
591
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,497
You said it'd kill her?
592
00:21:40,574 --> 00:21:41,790
(chuckles)
593
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,459
Well, uh, if,
594
00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:45,085
if there was a mistake,
you could--
595
00:21:45,162 --> 00:21:47,138
(man shouting in distance)
(chuckling)
596
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,144
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