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1
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,177
I know that ain't Mama Lena
sitting up in my... in my...
2
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:22,763
No, no, no,
that ain't Mama Lena.
3
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:23,638
I'll be doggone.
4
00:00:23,715 --> 00:00:25,098
Would you look at this here?
5
00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:27,067
Look at this.
Woman, you look so good.
6
00:00:27,144 --> 00:00:29,561
Look at this here.
Mwah!
7
00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:32,522
Look like Halle Berry
sitting up in my kitchen.
8
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,733
I'll be darn.
What's up, baby sis?
9
00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,943
Woo, woo, woo.
Woo, woo, woo.
10
00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:38,037
Uh-uh...
Come on, let
me have one.
11
00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:40,030
This is for the cobbler
for the reunion.
12
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,657
-Sexy mama. Hey, baby.
-Hi, honey.
13
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,701
Hey, who all coming?
Crippled Lou coming?
14
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,036
Y'all talk to him?
15
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,271
(laughing)
16
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,672
Now, honey, don't you
say that in his face.
17
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:49,973
You know how he gets.
18
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,459
He fights to kill,
darling.
He sure does.
19
00:00:52,536 --> 00:00:54,252
I can see him now: "What is...?
Hey, what is...? Hey...
20
00:00:54,329 --> 00:00:55,537
"Come on, now, that ain't right.
21
00:00:55,614 --> 00:00:57,380
Don't talk to me
like that, huh."
Stop.
22
00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:59,049
What about your A-Aunt Sis?
23
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,784
Y'all heard from her?
You know she'll be here
24
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,762
trying to sell something
and preaching 'bout the Lord.
25
00:01:03,839 --> 00:01:05,639
"Praise Jesus, Bernie."
26
00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:07,307
I can't stand her.
27
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,434
She really don't bother me;
it's that no-working
28
00:01:09,511 --> 00:01:10,986
husband of
hers, you know.
29
00:01:11,063 --> 00:01:12,979
"I've got some irons
in the fire."
30
00:01:13,056 --> 00:01:14,323
(laughing)
31
00:01:15,526 --> 00:01:16,992
What's that, Nessa?
It look good.
32
00:01:17,069 --> 00:01:19,111
The firstborn
in each family
33
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,071
is making a huge
patchwork quilt
34
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,290
for the oldest
in the family.
35
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:26,502
BERNIE: Hmm.
Vanessa, it's too bad
36
00:01:26,578 --> 00:01:28,504
your mama couldn't
come to the reunion.
37
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,131
Finished.
38
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,337
What about Big Brother?
Y'all heard from him?
39
00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:38,763
When he coming?
Tomorrow,
40
00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:40,157
and I'm going to tell
you something, Bernard.
41
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,509
He better not come up in
here trying to regulate.
42
00:01:42,586 --> 00:01:43,969
I'm serious.
43
00:01:44,045 --> 00:01:45,762
I am grown, okay,
44
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,255
and if Carl say
one thing to me,
45
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:51,101
I am going to tell him
to kiss my natural black...
46
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,478
Ah, she's just bumping her gums.
47
00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:56,314
She looked up to Big Brother
just like I do.
48
00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:59,025
See, when we was coming up,
Carl was the man in the house.
49
00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:00,986
His word was the law.
50
00:02:01,062 --> 00:02:04,197
Carl was the one who made me see
it was best I take the kids.
51
00:02:04,274 --> 00:02:05,991
He's going to be real proud
52
00:02:06,067 --> 00:02:08,535
when he see how well
I done with 'em, too.
53
00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:11,454
Man, there ain't nothing
like family.
54
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,123
(door shuts)
55
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,041
Hey, baby.
56
00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,209
Hey.
57
00:02:16,286 --> 00:02:17,752
Mama Lena all right?
58
00:02:17,829 --> 00:02:19,713
Mm, who knows?
59
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:22,257
I can't believe she
still isn't talking
after all these years.
60
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,134
Uh-huh.
Are you sure there
isn't anything
61
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,594
physically
wrong with her?
62
00:02:25,670 --> 00:02:28,054
Yeah, there's something
physically wrong with her.
63
00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:29,681
She's 109 years old.
64
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,976
Shoot, maybe she just
don't feel like talking.
65
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,353
Probably wouldn't
understand her if she did.
(chuckles)
66
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:36,980
I'm going to
get her to talk.
67
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,316
No, you won't.
Yes, I will.
68
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,693
No, you won't.
Yes, I will.
69
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:42,944
No, you won't.
70
00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:44,913
Yes, I will.
71
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,034
(grunting)
72
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,837
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey. Hey.
73
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:57,500
So, you all looking forward
to the reunion?
74
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:58,919
I don't even know
half the people
75
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,270
you were talking about,
76
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,431
and now I have to stay
in a room with these two
77
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:05,258
and listen to Dog Breath
practice French,
78
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:06,718
which he sucks at.
79
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,470
Look, y'all listen to me.
80
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,889
This reunion mean a lot to me.
81
00:03:10,966 --> 00:03:12,941
It should mean a lot
to you, too.
82
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,726
It's what keep
the family together.
83
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:16,186
It keeps us connected.
84
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,021
And besides, you all ain't seen
your Uncle Carl
85
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,198
since you all got here.
86
00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:21,900
You ought to be grateful
we got a family...
87
00:03:21,977 --> 00:03:25,779
for all of 'em, including
each other, you understand?
88
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:26,622
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
89
00:03:26,698 --> 00:03:28,615
Mais, bien sûr.
90
00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:29,908
What'd he say?
91
00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:31,409
(scoffs)
92
00:03:31,486 --> 00:03:32,535
He ain't cussing, is he?
93
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,712
Ow!
94
00:03:33,789 --> 00:03:34,712
(giggles)
95
00:03:34,790 --> 00:03:37,883
♪ It's a family affair ♪
96
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:43,338
♪ It's a family affair ♪
97
00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:46,091
♪ It's a family affair ♪
98
00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:48,593
What's up, you squares?
99
00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:49,770
Mac is here.
100
00:03:51,306 --> 00:03:52,856
Hi, Uncle Bernie.
101
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,641
Hey, baby girl.
102
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:55,976
I'm baby girl.
103
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,852
You remember David?
104
00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,020
BERNIE:
Hey, Aunt Sis.
105
00:03:59,097 --> 00:04:00,063
Hey, how you
doing, David?
106
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,231
Yes.
107
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,858
I got us some irons
in the fire.
108
00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:05,110
Yeah?
109
00:04:05,186 --> 00:04:07,153
I have a little
proposition for you.
110
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,196
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
111
00:04:08,273 --> 00:04:09,248
We just got here.
112
00:04:09,324 --> 00:04:10,499
Benita, mind yours.
113
00:04:10,575 --> 00:04:11,741
It's not my fault
you never got
114
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,243
off the first rung
of your pyramid.
115
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,122
So, Bernie, can you see us
doing a little...
116
00:04:17,198 --> 00:04:20,008
Excuse me, Aunt.
Hey, hey, hey, C-Mac!
117
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,128
B-Mac! Heh, come here, boy.
118
00:04:23,204 --> 00:04:25,380
It is.
Look at that.
Look at you, man.
119
00:04:25,457 --> 00:04:26,589
Man. What's up, baby?
120
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,767
I'm good, I'm good.
How you doing, Bern?
121
00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:30,427
I'm doing great, C.
Good, good, good.
122
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:33,522
Oh, man, C, wait till
you see the kids, man.
123
00:04:33,598 --> 00:04:35,765
Doggone it, look, there
go Jordan over there.
124
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,475
Hey, hey, Jordan!
125
00:04:37,552 --> 00:04:41,187
I ain't never seen
a little boy enjoy
butterflies so much.
126
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:44,149
Oh, man, that boy like
all kind of bugs, man:
127
00:04:44,225 --> 00:04:46,443
tarantulas,
black widows...
128
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,361
Mm-hmm.
Hey, Jord-Jordan!
129
00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,238
Come here, son!
130
00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:51,364
C-Come here.
131
00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:52,782
Say something to
your Uncle Carl.
132
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,784
Hi, Uncle Carl.
133
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,161
(chuckles)
134
00:04:56,237 --> 00:04:57,912
Comment allez-vous?
135
00:04:57,989 --> 00:04:59,414
Oh, you're speaking French now.
136
00:04:59,491 --> 00:05:01,550
Oui.
Uh-huh.
137
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:04,669
Goes good with the shirt.
138
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,630
You know, America, Carl's
just having fun with the boy.
139
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,550
He's a little different, you
know, but that's how Jordan is.
140
00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:13,645
See, it's not like
Carl's saying it's my fault...
141
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:16,315
or is he?
142
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,155
(indistinct chattering)
143
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,653
Aren't you Patricia's son
Shawntee?
144
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:34,407
Wow, you have shot up
since the last reunion,
145
00:05:34,484 --> 00:05:36,710
all tall and handsome.
146
00:05:36,787 --> 00:05:38,411
I'm Bernie's wife, Wanda.
147
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:40,714
Oh, yeah. Hey,
how you doing?
148
00:05:40,791 --> 00:05:42,257
Good. This is Mama Lena.
149
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,918
Yvette. This is
your cousin Vanessa.
150
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:46,094
You guys haven't seen
each other
151
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:48,296
since you were babies.
Hey, what's up, cous?
152
00:05:48,373 --> 00:05:49,798
Hey.
I was just
about to go
153
00:05:49,874 --> 00:05:51,808
get something to eat--
you hungry?
Sure.
154
00:05:53,294 --> 00:05:54,102
(mutters)
155
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:58,732
Kids just grow up so fast.
156
00:06:02,687 --> 00:06:04,137
Bernie.
Yeah?
157
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:07,482
You're rich, but I'm about
to make you rich-rich.
158
00:06:07,559 --> 00:06:09,067
We need to talk.
159
00:06:09,144 --> 00:06:10,276
Come on, l-l-let me
eat first, okay?
160
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:11,361
Oh, to God be the glory.
161
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,612
Thank you.
No!
162
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,947
You know Big Mama
163
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:16,616
taught you to bless
your food before you eat.
164
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,377
Kiss it up to God.
165
00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:22,831
Well, well, well,
166
00:06:22,907 --> 00:06:26,292
if it isn't fine-as-wine
Wanda Mac-alicious.
167
00:06:26,369 --> 00:06:28,086
Look at you.
Boo, ooh, ooh.
168
00:06:28,163 --> 00:06:29,638
Hi, Lou.
Hold on.
169
00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:33,299
Brake.
(chuckles) Bring it.
170
00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:34,968
(laughing)
171
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:37,929
Mm, like a bird coming
home to the nest.
172
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:38,855
Aw...
173
00:06:41,259 --> 00:06:42,851
How you doing, Lou?
174
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:45,821
Surviving... as if you cared.
175
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,149
What's up?
176
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,367
(laughing)
177
00:06:53,354 --> 00:06:54,612
Oh.
178
00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:57,157
America, the man's
in a wheelchair.
179
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,918
Some things
you've got to let go.
180
00:06:59,995 --> 00:07:02,671
Family.
181
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,006
Hmm.
182
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,343
Yeah.
Man.
183
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:11,838
So, you don't shoot hoops?
184
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:12,872
Well, what about music?
185
00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:14,457
You watch music videos,
don't you?
186
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,634
Uncle Bernie
doesn't like us to
watch music videos.
187
00:07:16,711 --> 00:07:18,395
There are too
many hootchies.
188
00:07:23,384 --> 00:07:24,860
Baby, you okay?
189
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:28,521
No, not really.
190
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:30,690
I'm ready to go, Wanda.
I'm tired.
191
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,150
Bernie!
192
00:07:32,227 --> 00:07:36,029
Cooking with Bernie Mac'sAunt Sis.
193
00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:37,280
What?
194
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,825
That's the name of our show
on the Food Network.
195
00:07:40,902 --> 00:07:44,037
You sprinkle in a few jokes,
and I'll do the cooking.
196
00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:46,206
You add the spice,
I'll add the flavor.
197
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,843
Hallelujah!
Baby, we going to be
rolling in the dough.
198
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,878
Rolling in the dough--
get it?
199
00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:54,088
(laughing):
Dough?
200
00:07:54,165 --> 00:07:56,099
Listen, I've got a hundred
more cooking puns.
201
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,301
No, no, no,
not right now, Sis.
I made a tape for you.
202
00:07:58,378 --> 00:07:59,427
Come over here.
203
00:07:59,504 --> 00:08:01,095
Come, come.
204
00:08:01,172 --> 00:08:02,530
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
205
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,641
He going to get up as
soon as he see me coming.
206
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,392
He be acting funny.
207
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:08,686
That's why I didn't
call y'all last
time I was in L.A.
208
00:08:08,763 --> 00:08:09,812
Are you serious?
209
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,231
Yeah, I'm serious.
210
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,867
It's like I'm not
welcome or something.
211
00:08:13,944 --> 00:08:15,735
Oh, come on,
don't be ridiculous.
212
00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:16,919
You're family,
213
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,863
and family is always
welcome in our home
214
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,615
whether it's
for a beer, a swim,
215
00:08:20,692 --> 00:08:21,625
or whatever.
216
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,576
I don't swim.
217
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:24,994
We'll put you
in an inner tube.
218
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,413
You know what I mean.
Thanks, cous.
219
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,132
You welcome.
220
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:34,420
Lookie, here.
221
00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:37,257
Tonight, after-party
at Mac's.
222
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,675
Tonight?
Tonight.
223
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,760
(inaudible)
224
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,521
What the hell
are you saying?
225
00:08:42,597 --> 00:08:43,997
There's going
to be more food?
226
00:08:44,074 --> 00:08:46,266
Yeah, there's going
to be some food.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
227
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,434
After-party...
228
00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:49,727
Hey, y'all...
229
00:08:49,804 --> 00:08:51,738
Dance contest, everybody!
230
00:08:51,815 --> 00:08:54,440
Y'all come on! Come on!
231
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:56,609
Shake it, little girl.
232
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:59,153
Come on!
233
00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:01,281
Yeah! Yeah!
234
00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:05,868
♪ I used to goout to parties ♪
235
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,954
♪ And stand around ♪
236
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:10,123
Come on!
(cheering)
237
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:13,802
♪ 'Cause I was too nervous ♪
238
00:09:13,878 --> 00:09:16,137
♪ To really get down ♪
239
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:21,476
♪ But my body ♪
240
00:09:21,553 --> 00:09:25,013
♪ Yearned to be free ♪
241
00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:29,475
♪ I got up on the floor ♪
242
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:33,146
And all I'm saying is it seems
like you-all moved out here
243
00:09:33,222 --> 00:09:35,398
to California
and forgot your roots.
(chuckles)
244
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,950
Tell me, what's the boy
going to do next, huh?
245
00:09:37,027 --> 00:09:38,276
Dye his hair blond,
246
00:09:38,353 --> 00:09:41,029
start wearing,
uh, blue contacts, huh?
247
00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:43,406
stop seasoning his food?
248
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,199
Hey, hey, Jor-Jordan.
249
00:09:45,276 --> 00:09:47,035
Son, why don't
we sit this out, okay?
250
00:09:47,111 --> 00:09:48,953
No way. I'm going to win!
Jo-Jordan.
251
00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:52,832
♪ Long as you're groovin' ♪
252
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,334
♪ There's always a chance ♪
253
00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:59,088
How do you say "no rhythm"
in French, hmm?
254
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,309
He's a kid, Carl,
remember?
255
00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:07,897
He's a black kid, Bernie.
You remember?
256
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:11,026
♪ Baby, you dance all night ♪
Come on!
257
00:10:12,762 --> 00:10:14,187
♪ To the-- ♪
258
00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,022
I could've
said something to Carl,
259
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:17,982
but I held my tongue,
260
00:10:18,059 --> 00:10:20,160
kind of like Mama Lena.
261
00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:25,114
Home sweet home,
that's what I'm talking about.
262
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:28,117
See your family in five years.
263
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,545
Oh, please.
Girl, I'm so glad.
264
00:10:32,073 --> 00:10:34,707
Sweetheart, I am glad.
265
00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:37,418
(engine roaring)
(truck honking horn)
266
00:10:37,495 --> 00:10:40,055
(shouting and cheering)
267
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,224
Oh, Lord!
268
00:10:44,094 --> 00:10:47,095
Bern, you gave us
an after-party!
269
00:10:47,171 --> 00:10:48,563
(screaming)
Oh, yes, come in!
(laughing)
270
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:51,566
(indistinct chattering)
271
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,274
(whispers):
Who's that?
Hey, Uncle Bernie.
272
00:11:00,351 --> 00:11:01,593
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
273
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,278
Bernie-Bern, thanks
for inviting us, B.
274
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,988
How you doing, Wanda?
275
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,740
Okay.
Inviting them where, baby?
276
00:11:07,817 --> 00:11:11,494
I... I-I just told Lou
277
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,371
that family
was welcome here anytime.
278
00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:14,697
Come on.
I didn't mean it.
279
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,416
Well, you know better
then to tell my family,
280
00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:17,676
especially ol' cripple ass.
281
00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:20,303
Shut up. Here he come.
Here he come.
Well, okay!
282
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,046
..simple hair spray
(imitates spraying)
283
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,556
and it rolls sweet.
284
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,809
You know, Bernie, this place
ain't very handicapped friendly.
285
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:26,968
Neither are we.
286
00:11:27,044 --> 00:11:29,312
Ow!
Watch the-- ooh.
287
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,388
Let me go hide the liquor,
288
00:11:30,465 --> 00:11:31,314
the cards, and
dominoes and stuff.
289
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,932
Where-where you going?
290
00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,318
To go hide the jewelry.
291
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,886
Oh, don't look at me like that.
292
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:39,522
How about if I sent a bus
crammed with your relatives
293
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,566
to your house, see how you feel.
294
00:11:41,642 --> 00:11:44,244
Yeah. See, you sweatin' just
thinking about it, ain't you?
295
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:51,117
You know, you're
awfully cute.
(sighs)
296
00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:52,535
Aunt Sis?
297
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,786
Mm-hmm?
298
00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:55,371
How are we cousins anyway?
299
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,331
Her granddaddy's second
wife was your auntie.
300
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,168
Oh, by marriage.
301
00:12:00,244 --> 00:12:01,678
(mutters)
302
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,548
You're putting out chips?
303
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,350
Don't trip.
No fat, no salt.
304
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,926
Bust this party right up
305
00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:11,646
before they start
getting into my stuff.
(chuckles)
306
00:12:11,723 --> 00:12:12,680
Say, Bernie?
Yo.
307
00:12:12,757 --> 00:12:13,973
You got a computer
308
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:14,924
where I can burn
some of these CDs?
309
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,726
You got some
classics here.
310
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,877
Ooh! Smokey in Tokyo.
311
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,353
Hot damn. You can't
find these nowhere.
312
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,897
T-Bone, T-Bone.
Hell, no.
313
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,899
You're not stealing
my music.
314
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,276
Damn, B.
315
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,069
You done got all
brand-new on a brother.
316
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:29,497
You should be
givin' them to me.
317
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,240
What?
318
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,126
Okay, Wesley baby,
you just sit here
319
00:12:33,203 --> 00:12:34,911
next to your cousin Bryana.
320
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:39,832
And Wanda, oh, girl, I am
so proud of you and Bernie.
321
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:42,761
And your house is beautiful.
322
00:12:42,837 --> 00:12:43,836
Oh, thank you, Yvonne.
323
00:12:43,913 --> 00:12:45,254
(laughs)
324
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,614
You know what?
Mm-hmm?
325
00:12:46,691 --> 00:12:48,257
I have some clothes
that are too small for Bryana
326
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,717
that would fit Wesley perfectly.
327
00:12:49,794 --> 00:12:51,135
Really?
Mm-hmm.
328
00:12:51,212 --> 00:12:53,471
And Wesley, what do
we say to Aunt Wanda?
329
00:12:53,548 --> 00:12:55,306
Thank you, Aunt Wanda.
330
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,400
YVONNE: Exactly!
Thank you, Wanda.
331
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,394
All right, this is why
I don't have my degree today.
Bam!
332
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,604
Oh, that ain't nothing,
that ain't nothing.
333
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,147
That's why you don't
got the degree
334
00:13:03,224 --> 00:13:04,857
'cause you don't
have this. Bam!
335
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,909
Look at that right there.
336
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,276
Hold on, hold on,
wait, wait, wait.
337
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,995
Where'd you-all get
these cards from?
338
00:13:10,147 --> 00:13:12,782
Oh, uh, u-under the sink.
339
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,075
Thieving asses.
340
00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:16,285
(stuttering gibberish)
341
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,870
What'd he say?
342
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:19,455
Why don't you join us
for a game, Bernie?
343
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,499
Hah! Bernie join us for spades?
344
00:13:21,576 --> 00:13:23,042
Bernie can't play
no cards.
345
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,219
This how you play cards.
346
00:13:24,295 --> 00:13:25,378
Raising it up. Bam!
347
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,296
That's right.
I can learn to love you,
348
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,890
but loving just ain't right.
349
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:33,135
Oh!
Oh... no, he didn't.
350
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,096
No, he didn't.
351
00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:36,430
(clock ticks softly)
352
00:13:36,507 --> 00:13:38,733
That some bull.
353
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:39,776
(coughing)
354
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,486
Those my cigars?
355
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:46,482
Yeah, but it's too strong, cous.
356
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,317
I've got the... (gibberish)
357
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,111
I hope it choke the hell
out of you.
358
00:13:50,187 --> 00:13:51,955
(coughing)
359
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:53,030
You got the devil in you.
360
00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:54,323
He always has.
361
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,742
(clock ticks softly)
(sighs)
362
00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:59,453
It would mean so much
to the family
363
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,966
if I could write down
some of your earliest memories.
364
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,223
So you want to learn
how to walk like a man,
365
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,799
like you're
about something?
366
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,226
Heck, yeah.
367
00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:15,678
Well, first of all, if you
want to be a real cool cat,
368
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,723
you can't wear your pants
all cinched up high like this.
369
00:14:18,799 --> 00:14:20,474
Take that off. Yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
370
00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:22,184
Now, pull them
down a little bit.
371
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,395
Here you go. Now,
tuck that in. Mm-hmm.
372
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:28,032
Now... now, for the walk.
373
00:14:28,109 --> 00:14:30,109
You got that?
374
00:14:30,186 --> 00:14:31,569
That's what I'm
talking about.
375
00:14:31,646 --> 00:14:33,029
You know,
God don't like ugly,
376
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,363
and that's just how
you're acting
377
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,490
'cause you won't help me
with my cooking show!
378
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,576
If you such a good cook,
379
00:14:38,653 --> 00:14:40,202
why don't you cook up
a job for your husband?
380
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,580
I've got a few irons
in the fire.
381
00:14:42,657 --> 00:14:45,041
I know why you
won't help me.
Why?
382
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,500
'Cause you want to be
383
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:51,422
the only superstar
in the family, huh? Huh?
384
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,766
To hell with you,
Bernard McCullough!
385
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:56,811
(sighs)
386
00:15:01,676 --> 00:15:03,225
What the hell you all doing?
You're cousins.
387
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:06,520
Uh, Aunt Sis said
only by marriage.
388
00:15:06,597 --> 00:15:08,656
(snaps fingers)
389
00:15:11,268 --> 00:15:12,994
I'll talk to you later.
390
00:15:13,071 --> 00:15:14,362
Go on.
391
00:15:14,438 --> 00:15:16,581
Go on.
392
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,422
What's that smell?
393
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,839
(coughing)
I know you ain't smoking
no reefer in my house, Lou.
394
00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:36,351
Well, technically,
I'm smoking on the patio.
395
00:15:36,427 --> 00:15:37,935
Put that reefer out.
396
00:15:38,012 --> 00:15:40,262
You know you can't think
straight smoking that stuff.
397
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:41,555
Is that how you kill...
(indistinct)
398
00:15:41,632 --> 00:15:43,683
AUNT SIS:
Bernie!
Put it out.
399
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:44,684
Bernie!
400
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,311
Aunt Sis ain't
mad no more.
401
00:15:47,388 --> 00:15:49,397
(laughs):
I just...
402
00:15:49,473 --> 00:15:50,690
(sniffing)
403
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:53,275
Mm. You smoking
that stuff in here.
404
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,444
Yeah, the devil
is busy in here.
405
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:58,906
The devil is
busy in here.
406
00:15:58,983 --> 00:16:00,241
Ooh...
407
00:16:00,317 --> 00:16:02,085
I'm gonna fight
you like a man.
408
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,494
Jesus, help me.
409
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,588
Give me the strength
to whip his ass.
410
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,091
And if you don't, I'm
gonna do it by myself!
411
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,292
He needs this dope.
(sighs)
412
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,293
Please, please, Father.
413
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,129
Get the devil out
of him!
414
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:16,340
Ooh, crack,
get behind me!
Going to heavenly rehab!
415
00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,050
Get behind us!
Lord, let him live!
416
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,385
That's it. A little...
417
00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:20,511
a little more glide
in your stride, son.
418
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:21,846
Come on now.
419
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,639
Eh, that's what
I'm talking about.
420
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,484
Stop it. Go ahead on
with your bad self.
421
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,613
What's wrong with your leg?
Why you walking like that?
422
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,399
'Cause I'm a straight
player, y'all.
423
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:35,192
(chuckles)
Pimp game's notorious.
424
00:16:35,269 --> 00:16:38,362
I know you feel me with
both hands, Uncle Bernie.
425
00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:40,123
Boy, pull your pants up
and get a belt.
426
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,532
Act like you've got some sense.
427
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:42,992
Your aunts and uncles are here.
428
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,326
Come on, Uncle B.
429
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,129
Don't hate the player--
hate the game.
430
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:47,538
(laughs)
431
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:48,914
That's what I'm talking about.
432
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,499
(laughing)
433
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,751
My man.
This is my man here.
434
00:16:51,827 --> 00:16:53,586
I'm just teaching him
how to keep it real.
435
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:55,379
I mean, somebody's
got to, Bernie.
436
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,931
Yeah. I see, Carl.
Why don't you keep it real,
437
00:16:57,008 --> 00:16:58,924
getting on the bus
going back to the Ramada.
438
00:16:58,935 --> 00:16:59,925
That's right.
439
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:02,178
I want everybody
out of my house.
440
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,555
Sis, Peabo,
T-Bone, Cripple Lou.
441
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:06,640
You-all get the hell
out of my house!
442
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,558
Whoa, whoa.
What'd you call me?
443
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:08,851
Do it again.
444
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,561
Come on, you want
some of this here?
445
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:11,988
(yells)
Ow, ow, ow!
446
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,857
There's about to be a fight!
447
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,275
You see this?
Now why don't you
just calm down?
448
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:17,534
Relax, Bernie. Relax.
449
00:17:17,612 --> 00:17:18,861
You're all tense.
Tense and every...
450
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,488
No wonder... no
wonder these kids
451
00:17:20,564 --> 00:17:22,114
are acting the way
they're acting.
452
00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:24,617
(all agreeing)
Am I right?
Huh? Am I right?
453
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,244
You know what, you might
be right on this one, Carl.
454
00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:28,671
Good thing
they don't act like you.
455
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,614
If they did,
they'd be a sprinter.
What?
456
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:33,709
Yeah, you know, you sure wasn't
walking slow, pimping and thing,
457
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,087
when the judge said
you could have the kids.
458
00:17:36,163 --> 00:17:37,922
Oh, Jordan,
you should have saw your uncle,
459
00:17:37,998 --> 00:17:40,591
the way he took off
when the judge said
he can have you-all.
460
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,051
He took off, man, so quick,
461
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,512
he shot out
before the gun was even shot.
462
00:17:44,588 --> 00:17:46,388
I mean, (stutters)
zoom, he was gone.
463
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,390
Speedy Gonzales. Yeah.
FAMILY: Oh!
464
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,775
That's right, America.
465
00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:51,694
You might as well
know the truth.
466
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,146
See, our sister asked Carl
to take the kids,
467
00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:56,491
but he got to court
and turned chicken.
468
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:58,567
All I saw was ass and elbow.
469
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,069
Looked like Carl Lewis.
470
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:01,403
He was...
471
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,073
WOMAN:
Ooh, this is
a real nice quilt.
472
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,951
Who...? Who was...?
473
00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:08,711
Was that y'all?
474
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,413
That was Mama Lena.
475
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,499
I want to thank you young people
476
00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:16,252
for taking the time out
to make it.
477
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:19,255
Now, I might not be here
for the next family reunion...
478
00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,631
Oh, now, stop that.
479
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:25,103
...so, I want to say this:
480
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,971
Wanda,
481
00:18:27,047 --> 00:18:29,431
thank you for opening
up your home to us.
482
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,600
You are a good girl.
483
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,769
Talk a lot though.
(woman laughing)
484
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:37,115
Lou, I'm sorry
you're in that chair,
485
00:18:37,191 --> 00:18:40,118
but it doesn't give you
license to be an ass.
486
00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,821
And stop telling folks
you got shot!
487
00:18:43,898 --> 00:18:45,573
Exactly!
Everybody knows
488
00:18:45,649 --> 00:18:48,251
you got scoliosis.
489
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:50,327
Sis...
490
00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:51,620
you can't cook.
491
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,171
(laughter)
492
00:18:53,249 --> 00:18:55,499
Even your husband, David,
don't like your cooking.
493
00:18:55,576 --> 00:18:56,700
(scattered laughter)
494
00:18:56,778 --> 00:18:58,294
MAN:
He gonna look away,
too. Look at that.
495
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:02,173
And Carl? Where's Carl?
496
00:19:02,249 --> 00:19:04,383
Right here, ma'am.
497
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:06,760
Now, Carl...
Yes, ma'am.
498
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,772
you know Bernie
is doing a wonderful job
499
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:10,806
raising those children.
500
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,517
Don't you, Carl?
501
00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:15,144
Don't you, Carl?!
502
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,521
Yes, ma'am.
503
00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:19,523
Don't make me send you
out there for a switch!
504
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,608
(scattered laughter)
505
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:22,484
Oh, Mam...
506
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,653
Bernie.
507
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,080
Yes, ma'am.
508
00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:29,700
Baby, unlock that liquor
and give me a shot of that yak.
509
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,878
(laughter, chatter)
510
00:19:34,165 --> 00:19:35,923
(motor buzzing)
511
00:19:37,335 --> 00:19:38,542
Bye, nephew.
512
00:19:38,619 --> 00:19:40,502
Bye.
513
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,305
David.
514
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,264
Thank you.
515
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,887
All right, baby.
All right, baby.
516
00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:51,063
Okay.
517
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,985
(mutters)
All right.
518
00:19:58,472 --> 00:20:02,191
Why you got on
those high-waters?
519
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,652
'Cause I'm baby girl,
not Wesley.
520
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,070
I know who you are.
521
00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:08,239
But you called her "baby girl"
at the picnic.
522
00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:10,991
Oh.
523
00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:12,743
(sighs)
524
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,912
Look here.
525
00:20:14,989 --> 00:20:19,291
See, she's a baby girl,
but you're my baby girl.
526
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,043
You understand?
527
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,136
Yes.
528
00:20:22,213 --> 00:20:24,338
And Bryana,
you got to learn how to share.
529
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,756
That's what family does.
530
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,308
We help each other out.
531
00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:30,219
That's the good thing
about being family,
you-you understand?
532
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,262
Yes.
533
00:20:31,338 --> 00:20:32,179
Good.
534
00:20:32,256 --> 00:20:34,223
Now go take
this tight stuff off
535
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,484
before you lose the feeling
in your legs. Go on.
536
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,116
(sighs)
537
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:49,288
You know, B, you...
538
00:20:50,691 --> 00:20:53,742
doing a good job
with those kids,
539
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,662
and this time nobody's
making me say that.
540
00:20:56,739 --> 00:20:58,747
Thank you.
541
00:20:58,824 --> 00:20:59,882
Welcome.
542
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:04,253
♪ Family reunion ♪
543
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:05,337
There you go, America.
544
00:21:05,414 --> 00:21:07,756
You got to take the good
with the bad.
545
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,426
Even though my family
got on my last nerve,
546
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,271
I'm already looking forward
to the next reunion...
547
00:21:14,381 --> 00:21:16,307
long as it ain't here.
548
00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:18,776
As long as it ain't here.
549
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,858
What was I saying?
550
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:27,276
Oh, oh, yeah.
551
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:31,780
Family--
they're everything to me.
552
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:35,409
♪ Once a child
grows up to be ♪
553
00:21:35,486 --> 00:21:37,795
♪ Someone you'd
just love to burn ♪
554
00:21:37,872 --> 00:21:42,875
♪ And I love a child ♪
555
00:21:42,951 --> 00:21:44,585
♪ Grows up to be... ♪
556
00:21:44,661 --> 00:21:46,170
I said that, didn't I? Oh.
557
00:21:46,246 --> 00:21:50,716
♪ It's a family affair. ♪
Cut!
558
00:21:50,793 --> 00:21:53,052
(crew laughing)
559
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,271
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