Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,869 --> 00:00:19,751
Look at that.
2
00:00:19,829 --> 00:00:21,419
Doggone. I'm so sick of this.
3
00:00:21,497 --> 00:00:23,305
I don't know what to do.
Look at that--another one,
another one.
4
00:00:23,381 --> 00:00:26,016
300 cable channels,
I got to block off 280.
5
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,350
You know why?
6
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,144
Sex. It's every doggone where.
7
00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:31,938
It's on TV, DVD, videotape.
8
00:00:32,015 --> 00:00:33,781
Even on the Internet.
9
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,485
Let me tell y'all.
The other day,
baby girl was on the computer,
10
00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:38,570
looking for some pictures
of some pussycats.
11
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:42,199
It took me six hours
to explain to her what she saw.
12
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:43,717
Now, America,
I'm gonna tell you something.
13
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,619
We got to get this doggone sex
off the television
14
00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,829
and put it back on the street,
where it belongs.
15
00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:48,830
This is ridiculous.
16
00:00:48,907 --> 00:00:49,998
Huh.
17
00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:51,583
Another one.
18
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,293
That's a commercial.
19
00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:56,171
This...
20
00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:59,382
♪ Baby, don't you know
that I love you so? ♪
21
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,551
(whistling)
22
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,553
(door closing)
23
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,846
Hey, yo, man.
24
00:01:04,923 --> 00:01:06,807
Uh... where's the pool?
25
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:08,475
Yo, man?
26
00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:09,559
Excuse me?
27
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,070
The pool.
28
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,397
The pool?
29
00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,450
Man, forget it.
I'll find it.
30
00:01:17,435 --> 00:01:19,694
♪ Welcome to the party ♪
31
00:01:19,771 --> 00:01:21,371
♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
32
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,740
♪ Welcome to the party ♪
33
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,742
♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
34
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,337
♪ Party tonight ♪
35
00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:30,372
♪ Working hard all day nowit's time to play ♪
36
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,749
♪ Gotta find some... ♪
37
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,292
♪ Gotta get away ♪
38
00:01:34,369 --> 00:01:36,586
♪ Only one place to go ♪
39
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,421
♪ Where the feelings folds soyou always know ♪
40
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:39,548
♪ Theres a good thing ♪
41
00:01:39,624 --> 00:01:40,423
Baby?
42
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,258
Hmm?
43
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,261
What's all these kids here?
44
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:45,938
Vanessa's having a pool party.
45
00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,390
Who told Vanessa
she could have a pool party
in my doggone house?
46
00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:52,102
I told Vanessa
she could have a pool party
at our house.
47
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:53,403
Now, relax, Bernie.
48
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,021
The kids are just
having fun.
49
00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:56,590
You know what?
That's all right.
50
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,400
But if I see that knot-headed
boy walking around here--
51
00:01:58,476 --> 00:02:00,744
the one that was in the house--
acting like it's his...
52
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:04,414
Sweetie, just go back inside.
53
00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:08,510
See, now, that-that
right there?
54
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,546
That's one of those
Similac babies.
55
00:02:10,622 --> 00:02:12,038
W.B.:
Man, they
didn't make them
56
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,123
like that when
we were young.
57
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,040
CHU:
Uh-uh.
58
00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:15,417
Man, if I was 15 now...
59
00:02:15,493 --> 00:02:17,836
You'd still be peeking
and not playing,
60
00:02:17,913 --> 00:02:18,920
so shut up.
61
00:02:18,997 --> 00:02:21,131
What y'all doing?
62
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,757
Yo, yo, yo,
Bernie, man, look.
63
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,302
Man, these girls
dressing like
they grown, man.
64
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,470
Look at the one in
the blue right there.
65
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,597
Where?
66
00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,806
-Right there.
-Mm-hmm.
67
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,057
That's Wanda.
68
00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:33,018
(laughing)
Sorry, man.
69
00:02:33,094 --> 00:02:34,978
That's my bad, man.
70
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,438
I don't envy you, man.
71
00:02:36,514 --> 00:02:37,939
My daughter's
a year older than Vanessa,
72
00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,150
and I'm already
chasing away the boys.
73
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,027
Yeah, man,
and boys at that age
74
00:02:42,103 --> 00:02:44,613
only have one thing
on they minds, dog.
75
00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:45,780
Uh-huh.
76
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:46,948
(sighs)
77
00:02:47,025 --> 00:02:48,291
Oh, cut it out, man.
78
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,952
Y'all are trying to put
the cables on me, man.
79
00:02:51,029 --> 00:02:52,621
Make me paranoid.
80
00:02:52,697 --> 00:02:56,166
Besides, man,
you're talking about kids.
81
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,802
You know,
I ain't worried about it.
82
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,003
Wanda's out-out there.
83
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,254
She's chaperoning.
84
00:03:01,331 --> 00:03:02,714
BOTH:
Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:03,724
(beeping)
86
00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:08,261
What the hell is that?
87
00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:10,138
Hey, man, we're
just telling you
how little boys are.
88
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:11,556
No need to get upset.
89
00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:12,724
No.
90
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:13,725
No!
91
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:14,943
No!
92
00:03:16,521 --> 00:03:17,729
Hands off.
93
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,189
What are you doing?
94
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,483
Man, why your pops
got to be like that?
95
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:23,485
-I'm not her pops.
-He's not my pops.
96
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,028
Why don't you get in the pool
and cool off?
97
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,988
I can't swim.
98
00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:28,990
I don't want you to swim.
99
00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:31,460
Why don't you get
in the deep end?
100
00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:36,340
Bernie, leave
these kids alone.
101
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,333
Look here.
I'm telling y'all both.
102
00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:40,043
I'm not going to let Vanessa
bring another mouth
103
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,419
in this house for us to feed.
104
00:03:41,496 --> 00:03:43,546
What? What are
you talking about?
105
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,966
I'm talking about your sister
too doggone young
106
00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:48,301
to become an auntie.
That's what I'm talking about.
107
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:51,221
Aunt Wanda, can you please
tell your husband
108
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,181
to leave me alone?
109
00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:55,567
He's ruining my party.
110
00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:59,062
She's a good girl.
111
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,397
Stop worrying.
112
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,233
He was holding
her hand, baby.
113
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,370
Exactly, Bernie.
Holding hands.
114
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,571
-How bad is that?
-That's a start.
115
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,824
That young boy got
hormones jumping
all out of his body.
116
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:14,878
And you ain't making
it no better with that
outfit you got on.
117
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,788
You like my outfit,
Bernie Mac?
118
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,248
Wanda, stop it.
119
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,041
You're making it
real hard for me
120
00:04:20,118 --> 00:04:21,584
to do my duty...
as a parent.
121
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:25,672
You let Aunt Wanda handle
the duties as a parent,
122
00:04:25,749 --> 00:04:27,340
and maybe tonight,
123
00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:30,677
we'll talk
about your husbandly duties.
124
00:04:30,754 --> 00:04:33,430
Now, shoo.
125
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,581
Go on.
126
00:04:39,137 --> 00:04:40,395
What you doing?
127
00:04:40,472 --> 00:04:41,730
Oh, ah, um... noth...
128
00:04:41,806 --> 00:04:42,897
It was time-out.
129
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:43,949
You're a liar.
130
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,026
(beeping)
131
00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:47,452
I'm sick of this.
132
00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:52,374
How the hell
I get back here?
133
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,623
Hey... what's this?
134
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:01,499
Huh?
135
00:05:01,576 --> 00:05:02,976
I was giving Kevin
my number...
136
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,753
No, you was giving Kevin
my number.
137
00:05:04,829 --> 00:05:08,006
How come you're not
at the deep end?
138
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:08,932
You better hurry up.
139
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,268
(buzzing)
140
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,802
Your pager blowin' up.
141
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,306
VANESSA: (sighing)
You are ruining my life!
142
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,141
Aunt Wanda?
143
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,810
Bernie Mac, out!
144
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,812
Talking about,
I'm ruining your life.
145
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,314
Girl, I'm trying
to save your life.
146
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,482
Well, fine.
147
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,566
I'll tell you what.
148
00:05:26,643 --> 00:05:28,785
I ain't changing no diapers.
149
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,039
Ought to kick you
in your chest.
150
00:05:36,444 --> 00:05:37,285
Hey, where y'all...
151
00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:38,736
Where y'all going?
152
00:05:38,814 --> 00:05:40,246
Yo, man, we can catch the game
somewhere else, all right?
153
00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:41,331
No, no, man.
I'm cool, man.
154
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,707
Come on, sit down.
155
00:05:42,784 --> 00:05:44,834
Sit down.
156
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,669
Hey.
157
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,014
What?
158
00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:50,507
What the...?
159
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,717
That little knot head! Hey!
160
00:05:52,794 --> 00:05:54,811
Bernie's letting
those kids drive
him crazy, man.
161
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:59,483
Vanessa!
162
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,353
Yeah.
163
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,988
What y'all running for?
164
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,689
'Cause you won't
leave us alone.
165
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:07,982
Alone?
166
00:06:08,059 --> 00:06:09,526
Why you want to be alone?
167
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:11,528
Y'all must be up
to something.
168
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,154
We were just getting
some soda.
169
00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:14,447
Soda? Yeah.
170
00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:16,290
I know what that means.
171
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,284
You better not be getting
no "soda" in this house, boy.
172
00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:19,327
What?
173
00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:20,787
Don't "what" me, boy.
174
00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:22,414
You know exactly what I mean.
175
00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:24,541
I'm not going
to let you run
this girl's life.
176
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:27,627
Matter of fact,
I want you out of my house.
177
00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:30,380
Your party is over!
178
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,132
I can't stand you.
179
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:33,174
Yeah, okay.
180
00:06:33,251 --> 00:06:35,811
You get out of here.
181
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,145
You see how ungrateful she is?
182
00:06:45,221 --> 00:06:46,563
She hates me.
183
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:49,232
I'm trying to save her
from making a big mistake.
184
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,651
I ain't trying
to be no hard guy, America.
185
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,236
But I'll chase baby girl
186
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,321
around this house
every day if I have to
187
00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:56,698
if that's what it takes
188
00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:58,708
to keep her away from boys...
hoo.
189
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,082
I hate him.
190
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:09,043
I heard that!
191
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,929
I heard that.
192
00:07:21,925 --> 00:07:23,108
Hey, babe.
193
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,520
This is a great age, huh?
194
00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:28,813
Tell me about it.
195
00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:30,273
I got a 13-year-old
at home.
196
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,400
Nothing but trouble.
197
00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:34,152
She had a pool party
the other day.
198
00:07:34,229 --> 00:07:36,446
All kinds of boys
walking through the house
199
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,198
hitting on her
like they're grown.
200
00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:39,616
Well, then,
I'm the bad guy
201
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,284
when I throw their stuff
in the pool.
202
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,535
I think we
ought to lock 'em up
203
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,704
from the ages of 13
to 18 to keep them safe
204
00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,581
and then at the age
of 18, unlock 'em,
205
00:07:46,658 --> 00:07:48,082
kick 'em out
of the house.
206
00:07:48,159 --> 00:07:49,384
That's exactly how I feel.
207
00:07:49,461 --> 00:07:50,785
Kids need boundaries.
208
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:52,420
That's why I sent my
boy to Catholic school.
209
00:07:52,497 --> 00:07:54,339
Me, too.
210
00:07:54,415 --> 00:07:55,548
I'm Bernie, man.
211
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,300
-Hi. David.
-Hey, David.
212
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,426
There we go.
213
00:07:58,503 --> 00:07:59,427
Hey, sport.
214
00:07:59,504 --> 00:08:00,595
Hey.
215
00:08:00,672 --> 00:08:02,680
Dad, can I go over
Jordan's house and play?
216
00:08:02,757 --> 00:08:03,890
No. I think
Bernie's busy,
217
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,350
and you got
homework. Come on.
218
00:08:05,426 --> 00:08:06,643
No, no, no.
He can come.
219
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,320
I mean, this is
a great time
220
00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:10,355
for boys to build
a lifelong friendship.
221
00:08:10,431 --> 00:08:11,523
Yeah.
You're right.
222
00:08:11,599 --> 00:08:14,234
-4:00?
-Fine with me.
223
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:16,236
(doorbell rings)
224
00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,696
Nessa, get that.
225
00:08:17,772 --> 00:08:19,864
Why? None of my friends
are welcome here,
226
00:08:19,941 --> 00:08:21,541
so I know it's
not for me.
227
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,047
(doorbell rings)
228
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:36,047
Bernie.
229
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:37,340
Hey, Dave.
230
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,508
What's going on? Dave.
231
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:39,842
Byron.
232
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,220
Hey, Jordan,
Byron's here.
233
00:08:42,297 --> 00:08:43,221
Bernie Mac?
234
00:08:43,298 --> 00:08:44,556
Yes.
235
00:08:44,632 --> 00:08:46,182
I can't believe
Dave didn't know
who you were.
236
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,566
I am your biggest fan.
237
00:08:47,644 --> 00:08:49,936
You are, like,
the funniest man
on the planet.
238
00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:52,355
Uh... thank you.
239
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,440
Thank you.
Thank you.
240
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:57,068
This is Phil, my very
over-the-top partner.
241
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,120
Partner?
242
00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:02,490
Bernie, I was just
telling Phil
243
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,501
how much you and I have
in common.
244
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,910
It's uncanny.
245
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,370
It's unnatural.
246
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,663
(laughter)
247
00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:12,000
Well, I hope you have
a good time, Byron.
248
00:09:12,076 --> 00:09:13,501
Give Daddy a kiss.
249
00:09:13,578 --> 00:09:15,628
Okay.
250
00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:17,755
Ciao, Bernie.
251
00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:18,923
Ciao.
252
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,017
Take it easy.
253
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,053
Okay.
254
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,430
Here we go.
255
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,932
All right.
Today is you guys' day.
256
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,143
Anything you want
to do is fine.
257
00:09:30,219 --> 00:09:31,603
Look, I got a football.
258
00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,521
I got a pair
of boxing gloves.
259
00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:34,647
Hey, look here.
260
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:36,190
I got toy guns.
261
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,442
We can play war.
262
00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:39,360
Y-you do play war,
don't you, Byron?
263
00:09:39,437 --> 00:09:41,613
Oh, what else?
264
00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:43,698
See this video game here?
265
00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:45,274
This game here--
266
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,036
man, you could tear
a guy's head clear off!
267
00:09:48,112 --> 00:09:50,338
We're gonna have some
good regular-guy fun today.
268
00:09:55,119 --> 00:09:57,462
BYRON:
Make a loop.
269
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,631
The bunny goes
up the hole,
270
00:09:59,707 --> 00:10:00,840
around the tree,
271
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:03,351
and back into the hole.
272
00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:06,554
Now, pull,
but not too tight.
273
00:10:06,631 --> 00:10:07,814
Like this?
274
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,270
What the hell? Yarn?!
275
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,813
What are you guys doing?
276
00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:17,315
Byron's showing me
how to make a knot.
277
00:10:17,392 --> 00:10:18,617
Why are you using yarn?
278
00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:19,901
That's for needlepoint
or tying bows on girls...
279
00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:21,736
Now, give-give me this.
280
00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,371
We couldn't find
anything else.
281
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,990
You mean, you couldn't find
wire or-or fishing line,
282
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,117
extension cord or something
like that to play with?
283
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,452
-Mr. Mac?
-Yes?
284
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,087
Isn't that stuff
dangerous?
285
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,631
Um... yes.
286
00:10:32,707 --> 00:10:35,458
Listen, it's too nice outside
for y'all to be inside
287
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,793
playing with knots.
288
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:38,044
Come on.
I want y'all to get up.
289
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,837
I want you to go outside
and play.
290
00:10:39,914 --> 00:10:42,340
Go on. Why don't you show him
some cards or something?
291
00:10:42,417 --> 00:10:43,658
Be a man.
292
00:10:43,735 --> 00:10:45,843
Bryana's having fun
with her dolls.
293
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,012
Why don't you go
break that up?
294
00:10:48,089 --> 00:10:50,515
The Undertaker says
bring it on!
295
00:10:50,591 --> 00:10:52,400
(both grunting)
296
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,855
(laughter)
297
00:10:57,932 --> 00:10:59,774
Oh, the Three Stooges is
something else.
298
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,317
I'd have killed that mother...
299
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,204
(grunting)
300
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:07,824
Jordan.
Jordan, Jordan.
301
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,701
Byron, Jordan,
stop, stop.
302
00:11:09,777 --> 00:11:11,869
Break it up.
What's going on here?
303
00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,371
Y'all are playing
too close.
304
00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:14,622
We were just
playing WWF.
305
00:11:14,699 --> 00:11:16,299
I was about to give
him a pile driver.
306
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,042
There ain't gonna be
no pile driver, Jordan.
307
00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:19,761
Did I do something wrong?
308
00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:24,841
No, son.
309
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,217
You didn't do nothing wrong.
310
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:29,554
Listen... I just want y'all
to have some fun.
311
00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:31,764
Good clean fun, okay?
312
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:34,475
Now, here.
Go to it.
313
00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:37,395
-("Y.M.C.A" By Village
People plays)
-I'm making too much of this.
314
00:11:37,472 --> 00:11:39,397
Maybe I'm too old-school.
315
00:11:39,474 --> 00:11:41,357
Maybe they're just children.
316
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,901
Maybe they're just boys
out there having fun.
317
00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:46,571
Ain't nothing wrong
with that boy.
318
00:11:46,647 --> 00:11:51,751
America... the Mac man
apologizes.
319
00:11:52,787 --> 00:11:53,870
Go deep.
320
00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:55,230
Oh, my Lord!
Jordan!
321
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:58,583
♪ Young man, there's noneed to feel down ♪
322
00:11:58,659 --> 00:11:59,751
That's it. Play date over.
323
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:00,918
But why?
324
00:12:00,995 --> 00:12:02,253
'Cause I said so.
325
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:03,963
But we were having fun.
326
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,057
Yeah, that was your
first mistake.
327
00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:07,925
Byron, let's go get your stuff.
328
00:12:08,002 --> 00:12:10,344
Aw!
329
00:12:10,421 --> 00:12:11,596
"Aw." Let's go.
330
00:12:11,672 --> 00:12:13,848
America, I know exactly
what you thinkin'.
331
00:12:13,925 --> 00:12:16,100
Those are two young boys
out there playing
332
00:12:16,177 --> 00:12:17,935
and what could be so wrong?
333
00:12:18,012 --> 00:12:20,646
See, I'm not trying
to mess with the boys' fun.
334
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:23,149
I just don't want them
to grow up too soft.
335
00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:25,902
See, Jordan, he can be
anything he wants to be.
336
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:28,237
If he wants to grow up
to be a policeman,
337
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,781
he can be that.
338
00:12:29,857 --> 00:12:31,824
Or how about
a construction worker?
339
00:12:31,901 --> 00:12:33,618
Nothing wrong with that.
340
00:12:33,694 --> 00:12:35,953
He even might want
to join the navy.
341
00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:38,122
Hey, I have
no problem with that.
342
00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:41,834
It does not matter if you want
to be a biker, or a cowboy,
343
00:12:41,911 --> 00:12:42,960
or a Indian chief.
344
00:12:43,037 --> 00:12:45,129
I personally don't mind.
345
00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:48,925
The boy can be
whatever he wants to be, right?
346
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:51,552
OTHERS:
Whatever he wants to be!
347
00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:52,970
See?
348
00:12:53,047 --> 00:12:55,064
How you doing, cop?
349
00:12:57,051 --> 00:13:01,154
Uh, Chief, your wampum
coming out your pouch..
350
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,866
L-l-let's move on.
351
00:13:08,437 --> 00:13:09,412
Hey, Bernie.
352
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,530
Hey, hey.
353
00:13:10,606 --> 00:13:11,656
Hey, buddy.
354
00:13:11,732 --> 00:13:12,740
Hi, sport.
355
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:13,866
Everything okay?
356
00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,660
Yeah. The boys are
great, you know?
357
00:13:15,736 --> 00:13:16,877
Jordan has asthma
358
00:13:16,955 --> 00:13:18,037
and I can see
all the activity
359
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:19,506
is kind of
wearing him down.
360
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:22,801
Oh, hey, hon.
361
00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:24,168
What's going on?
362
00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:25,837
Oh, uh, Brenda,
this is Bernie.
363
00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:27,171
Bernie,
this is my wife.
364
00:13:27,248 --> 00:13:29,057
Your wife?
365
00:13:31,836 --> 00:13:33,678
I thought
you and Phil was partners.
366
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,471
We are.
367
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,889
We're writing
partners.
368
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:39,433
But sometimes I think
they're the married couple.
369
00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:40,651
Hey,
you know what?
370
00:13:40,729 --> 00:13:41,853
I got to get back.
Jordan has the...
371
00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:44,072
(coughs)
Wheezes.
372
00:13:44,148 --> 00:13:46,023
Sorry.
373
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,526
See? That's why
I didn't judge.
374
00:13:48,603 --> 00:13:51,028
At most,
I was overly cautious.
375
00:13:51,105 --> 00:13:53,581
And there was
children involved.
376
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:56,158
Okay, I hurt
Jordan's feelings.
377
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,451
I'm sorry.
378
00:13:57,528 --> 00:13:58,837
He'll get over it.
379
00:13:58,913 --> 00:14:01,047
And if I hurt y'all out there,
forgive me.
380
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:05,710
I hate him.
381
00:14:05,786 --> 00:14:06,845
I heard that!
382
00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:08,045
(wheezing)
383
00:14:08,122 --> 00:14:09,672
Take your medicine!
384
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:13,142
(wheezing louder)
385
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:22,685
So, how we going
to get him?
386
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:28,366
I don't know, but we
have to choose our
time just right.
387
00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:34,864
Bryana's asleep.
388
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,283
Do you have any plans
for tonight?
389
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:40,369
No, you know I ain't
got no plans for tonight.
390
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,172
Good, because
I'm expecting a package.
391
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,760
Package?
392
00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:52,240
Good night, kids.
393
00:14:52,316 --> 00:14:54,142
-Good night.
-Good night.
394
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,846
See? Respect.
395
00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:00,440
That's what I'm talking about.
396
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,696
So, you want me
to steal the package.
397
00:15:15,773 --> 00:15:17,865
No, no, no; there is no package.
398
00:15:17,942 --> 00:15:19,558
That was just a cover-up
399
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,118
so they could handle
their business.
400
00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:22,995
It's more like a code word.
401
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,706
Oh. They're nasty.
402
00:15:25,783 --> 00:15:29,543
This will be the perfect time
for us to get him.
403
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:32,213
Yeah. Let's get him.
404
00:15:32,289 --> 00:15:35,007
Do you think there's cookies
in the packages?
405
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:37,301
I don't know,
but if you help us out,
406
00:15:37,378 --> 00:15:40,388
I promise I'll get you
a whole bunch of cookies.
407
00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:41,356
Yay!
408
00:15:41,432 --> 00:15:42,682
Shh.
409
00:15:42,758 --> 00:15:43,816
(softly)
Yay.
410
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,682
You know, Mrs. Mac,
411
00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:53,734
I think you're trying
to seduce me.
412
00:15:53,811 --> 00:15:55,069
And guess what?
413
00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:56,904
I kind of like it.
414
00:15:56,981 --> 00:15:59,198
(sexy laugh)
Get over here.
415
00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:00,700
(knock at door)
416
00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:02,284
BRYANA:
Uncle Bernie?
417
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:03,494
What?
418
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,204
I'm scared.
419
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:07,382
Scared of what?
420
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:10,167
Um, I forgot.
421
00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:12,420
Well, come back
when you remember.
422
00:16:12,496 --> 00:16:14,630
Okay.
423
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,675
(knock at door)
424
00:16:17,752 --> 00:16:19,760
Uncle Bernie?
425
00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:21,396
Baby, hold on.
426
00:16:21,472 --> 00:16:22,555
Mmm.
427
00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:23,856
Hold on.
428
00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,224
(yelling)
What?!
429
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,642
(frustrated sigh)
430
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,010
You see?
431
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,113
There's no monsters
down here.
432
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,408
(grunting)
433
00:16:33,484 --> 00:16:35,860
Now, look, I
looked everywhere.
434
00:16:35,936 --> 00:16:37,436
Can't find no monsters.
435
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:40,740
Now, anybody else
want anything?
436
00:16:40,816 --> 00:16:41,991
Okay, good,
437
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,625
'cause as of right now,
438
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,828
Uncle Bernie
officially off the clock.
439
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,430
Don't call me for nothing.
440
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,174
Call me again...
and see what happen to you.
441
00:16:58,643 --> 00:16:59,800
Is everything okay?
442
00:16:59,877 --> 00:17:01,101
They just crazy, man.
443
00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:02,970
How do those kids
have great timing, man?
444
00:17:03,047 --> 00:17:04,013
Who cares?
445
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,931
Now it's our time.
446
00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:07,975
-You know what?
-What?
447
00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:09,810
I been yearning
for you, baby.
448
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:11,145
(whispering)
Now!
449
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,730
What the hell
is that?!
450
00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:14,857
Hold on one second, see
what I'm talking about?
451
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,318
-See?
-(moans softly)
452
00:17:17,394 --> 00:17:20,029
Now, look, I done told you all
for the last time
453
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:23,824
not to disturb me, and that mean
not even a knock on the door.
454
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,494
I don't want you all
to get out of bed for nothing.
455
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,412
If you put
one foot on the floor,
456
00:17:28,489 --> 00:17:30,581
I'm going to be angry,
do you understand me?
457
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,749
What if we...?
458
00:17:31,826 --> 00:17:33,584
What if nothing!
You can't do nothing!
459
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,796
I don't care
if there earthquake.
You just ride it.
460
00:17:36,872 --> 00:17:39,840
I should have left you all
at Cabrini-Green.
461
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:41,309
Bunch of animals.
462
00:17:45,506 --> 00:17:48,524
Like you ain't got
no home training.
463
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,740
(romantic music)
464
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,363
(thud)
465
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:03,864
-What's that?
-That's Bernie Mac.
466
00:18:03,941 --> 00:18:04,990
No, I'm serious.
467
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:06,333
I heard something outside.
468
00:18:06,411 --> 00:18:07,618
It could be a
stray cat, right?
469
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:08,702
Meow.
470
00:18:08,779 --> 00:18:11,539
See? See?
471
00:18:11,615 --> 00:18:14,217
(both moaning provocatively)
472
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,129
Bernie? Bernie, look.
473
00:18:18,205 --> 00:18:19,505
What, what, what, what?
474
00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:20,381
I told you
475
00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:22,049
there's someone
in the yard.
476
00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:23,226
Who out there?!
477
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,019
Hold on just a sec...
hold on, now.
478
00:18:25,096 --> 00:18:27,230
You let me come out there.
479
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:30,558
You picked
the wrong house.
480
00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:32,059
Wrong house.
481
00:18:32,136 --> 00:18:34,353
Why you pick
the wrong house?
482
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,605
You picked the wrong house!
483
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,032
Yes, sir!
484
00:18:38,109 --> 00:18:39,900
Now, I'm going
to ask you one more time--
485
00:18:39,977 --> 00:18:40,785
Who out there?!
486
00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:42,336
BRYANA:
It's a monster!
487
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,406
See? See? I knew
it was you kids.
488
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:48,033
I told you not to get
out of bed, didn't I?
489
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,828
Y'all really
in trouble now.
490
00:18:50,905 --> 00:18:53,256
Oh it's on now. I don't know who
y'all think y'all playing with.
491
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,565
Like I ain't never been a kid.
492
00:18:54,642 --> 00:18:56,250
I was the worst kid
on the block, boy.
493
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,136
When I was... yeah, I saw you!
494
00:18:58,212 --> 00:19:00,421
I see you! Ha-ha... ow!
495
00:19:00,497 --> 00:19:03,048
Whoa... I'm okay.
496
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,566
You better hope my leg is broke.
497
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,845
I swear, for... Lord, whatever
on top of me... Wanda.
498
00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:09,021
Wanda.
499
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,275
Hey.
500
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:16,236
Okay, I understand
501
00:19:16,314 --> 00:19:18,522
that you were angry
with your Uncle Bernie,
502
00:19:18,599 --> 00:19:21,192
but did you even consider
your Aunt Wanda's feelings?
503
00:19:21,268 --> 00:19:22,526
VANESSA:
Sorry, Aunt Wanda.
504
00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:26,113
You were in the
wrong place at
the wrong time.
505
00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:27,865
Yeah, you were
collateral damage.
506
00:19:27,942 --> 00:19:30,618
No, no, you all was
in the wrong place
at the wrong time.
507
00:19:30,694 --> 00:19:32,453
I told y'all not
to get out of bed,
508
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:35,164
and y'all chose to
disrespect our privacy.
509
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,248
You didn't respect ours.
510
00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:37,566
Yeah!
511
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,302
You little kids
ain't got no
doggone privacy.
512
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:42,087
Bernie, stop it.
513
00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:43,797
Vanessa?
514
00:19:43,874 --> 00:19:48,260
He embarrassed me
in front of all my friends.
515
00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:50,078
Jordan?
516
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,306
I feel like Byron's mad at me
'cause he had to go home early.
517
00:19:52,383 --> 00:19:54,391
Bernie,
say you're sorry.
518
00:19:54,468 --> 00:19:55,309
I'm not saying...
519
00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:59,104
Bernie,
say you're sorry.
520
00:19:59,181 --> 00:20:00,648
I'm sorry.
521
00:20:00,724 --> 00:20:01,982
Kids,
522
00:20:02,059 --> 00:20:03,326
say "That's okay,
Uncle Bernie."
523
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:06,528
KIDS:
That's okay, Uncle Bernie.
524
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:07,738
Okay.
525
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,615
Great. We're all
one big happy family.
526
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,501
You go to bed.
You three stay.
527
00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:17,873
(mumbling)
...gon' tell me
I'm damn sorry.
528
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,250
I ain't did nothing.
529
00:20:19,326 --> 00:20:22,211
Now, your Uncle
Bernie has shown you
530
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,505
that your feelings
are important,
531
00:20:24,581 --> 00:20:27,508
and he and I need
our time alone, you understand?
532
00:20:27,584 --> 00:20:30,010
-Yes, ma'am.
-Yes, ma'am.
533
00:20:30,087 --> 00:20:31,620
Good,
534
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,348
because the next person
that comes into your room
535
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,524
will be me,
536
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:38,852
and we don't
want that, do we?
537
00:20:38,929 --> 00:20:40,029
-No, Aunt.
-No.
538
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,730
Good.
539
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,190
Good night.
540
00:20:43,267 --> 00:20:45,076
And I'll take these.
541
00:20:46,603 --> 00:20:49,405
♪ And give me thattenderness ♪
542
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:53,742
♪ I love so much ♪
543
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,579
♪ But never get enough ♪
544
00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:00,541
♪ Gimme that sexual healing ♪
545
00:21:00,617 --> 00:21:03,335
WANDA:
Baby, let's go.
546
00:21:03,412 --> 00:21:04,971
Baby?
547
00:21:05,047 --> 00:21:07,848
Bernie?
548
00:21:07,925 --> 00:21:08,866
(sighing)
549
00:21:08,943 --> 00:21:11,769
♪ Talking about you and me ♪
550
00:21:17,226 --> 00:21:19,735
♪ We don't need nobody else ♪
551
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,356
We'll pick up on this
tomorrow night.
552
00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:26,191
Oh, wait,
I have a meeting.
553
00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:27,985
Okay, some other time.
554
00:21:28,062 --> 00:21:31,989
♪♪
555
00:21:32,066 --> 00:21:34,742
(fiendish cackling)
556
00:21:34,818 --> 00:21:36,752
♪ It should be now ♪
557
00:21:39,406 --> 00:21:41,332
Let me be straight.
558
00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:43,334
This ain't about Jordan
being gay.
559
00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:46,086
I don't care if he play with
a little boy or a little girl.
560
00:21:46,163 --> 00:21:49,381
I don't want him to be exposed
to sex at his age.
561
00:21:49,458 --> 00:21:52,143
If you like,
I'll put him in a bubble.
562
00:21:52,219 --> 00:21:55,179
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
563
00:21:55,255 --> 00:21:57,014
You ain't gon' tell...
564
00:21:57,091 --> 00:21:59,683
Don't tell me
how to raise my nephew.
565
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,653
If I want him to play with
whoever I want him to play with
37729
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof