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1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:05,170
♪♪
2
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,722
Yes, y'all with kids,
I want you to hear something.
3
00:00:23,799 --> 00:00:26,433
Listen.
4
00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,560
That's right...
5
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:29,737
(whispers)
quiet.
6
00:00:29,813 --> 00:00:30,979
Jealous, ain't you?
7
00:00:31,056 --> 00:00:32,381
(chuckles)
Yeah, I know.
8
00:00:32,457 --> 00:00:34,399
My baby, Wanda, she's out
shopping with the kids.
9
00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:36,610
I got the whole house
to myself.
10
00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:39,571
And that means Nessa ain't
walking around rolling her eyes,
11
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:42,032
and Jordan ain't
with that annoying cackle.
12
00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:43,959
Let me tell you something.
13
00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:46,036
I never thought
I'd envy the dead.
14
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,412
Don't get me wrong.
15
00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:50,040
I love those kids,
but silence is golden.
16
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,917
You want to hear it again?
17
00:00:51,993 --> 00:00:54,419
Listen.
18
00:00:54,496 --> 00:00:55,462
(sighs)
19
00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:58,223
(door opens)
20
00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:00,809
What's that?
21
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:05,189
Wanda?!
22
00:01:07,342 --> 00:01:08,809
Baby, you back already?
23
00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:12,771
(thud)
24
00:01:12,848 --> 00:01:15,565
Excuse me for a second.
25
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,533
Who is it?!
26
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,574
Wanda?
27
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:25,584
Nessa?
28
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,340
Hey!
29
00:01:36,547 --> 00:01:38,597
(exhales)
30
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,844
(dog barking in distance)
31
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,637
How's somebody just going
to come up in my house?
32
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:48,306
What... what's wrong
with people today?
33
00:01:48,383 --> 00:01:50,725
It's disgusting! Despicable!
34
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,061
You're supposed to rob somebody
when they're not at home!
35
00:01:53,138 --> 00:01:55,188
I gave him all the signals
I was here.
36
00:01:55,265 --> 00:01:57,315
Lights on!
Truck's in the driveway!
37
00:01:57,392 --> 00:02:00,193
I'm talking to myself out loud!
38
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:01,695
What more do I need to do?
39
00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:03,738
Meet him at the door
with a hot toddy?
40
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,124
Man!
41
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,682
I'm standing right here.
42
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,368
I saw the punk
right there in here.
43
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:09,327
I chased him
and ran through the hall.
44
00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:10,704
He jumped out
the bathroom window.
45
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:11,830
-If I...
-WANDA:
Bernie?
46
00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:13,257
Yeah, right here, baby.
47
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,584
-What's going on?
-Somebody broke
into the house.
48
00:02:15,660 --> 00:02:17,335
-Oh, my God,
are you okay?
-I'm... I'm fine.
49
00:02:17,412 --> 00:02:19,171
Did he take
any of my stuff?
50
00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:22,182
I'm fine.
Thank you, Selfish.
51
00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:23,341
I'm sorry, officer,
52
00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:25,385
but my children
are just selfish.
53
00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:27,179
These kids today ain't worth
two dead flies smashed.
54
00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:28,889
Like I was saying,
if I would've caught him,
55
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,348
I'd have kicked his ass.
56
00:02:30,425 --> 00:02:32,309
Well, Mr. Mac, we'll,
uh, we'll let you know
57
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,686
as soon as we
get any leads.
58
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,004
In the meantime,
59
00:02:36,081 --> 00:02:38,273
everybody keep
these doors and
windows locked.
60
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:40,025
Don't make it
easy on him.
61
00:02:40,101 --> 00:02:41,526
Thank you, officer.
62
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:42,535
Thank you.
63
00:02:42,613 --> 00:02:43,436
"Don't make it easy for him."
64
00:02:43,514 --> 00:02:45,488
Easy?
I tell you what, America.
65
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:48,491
I'm going to protect my family
by any means necessary.
66
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,619
And if somebody
comes back up in here,
67
00:02:50,695 --> 00:02:53,163
it's going to be a dark day
for him and his mama.
68
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,798
There's going to be
a discrepancy,
69
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,157
a misunderstanding.
70
00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:57,967
I'm talking busting heads.
71
00:02:58,044 --> 00:03:00,170
I'm talking about some slow
singing and flower bringing.
72
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,588
Huh, if you all didn't know,
73
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,632
I'm a topologist
in whupassology.
74
00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:05,008
Yes, sir. Easy.
75
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,177
Come on... come on in.
Help yourself.
76
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,136
Come on. Come on. Pop!
77
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,564
Ooh... come on!
78
00:03:11,716 --> 00:03:12,691
Come on.
79
00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:34,296
WANDA:
Bernie?
80
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,041
Yeah?
81
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,551
Are you all right?
82
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:44,932
Yeah, I'm all right.
83
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,261
(groans)
84
00:03:49,337 --> 00:03:53,848
(groaning)
85
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:54,858
I'm trying
to figure out
86
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,227
how that guy
got up in here.
87
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,020
Did you leave
that window in
the bathroom open?
88
00:03:59,097 --> 00:04:00,939
I don't remember, baby.
89
00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:02,574
You don't
remember?
90
00:04:02,651 --> 00:04:05,193
Baby, what if
baby girl was here?
91
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:07,237
She'd have
been killed.
92
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:10,240
She'd be dead
right now.
93
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,449
From now on,
94
00:04:11,526 --> 00:04:13,243
I want all the windows
and doors locked.
95
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,412
Okay, baby.
Come on, now,
just try to relax.
96
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:16,871
(groans)
I'm trying.
97
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,757
-Okay.
-Ooh.
98
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,584
Thank God nothing
happened to you.
99
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,921
I wouldn't know
what I would do.
100
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:25,855
Thank you, baby.
101
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,301
Mm-hmm.
What is it?
102
00:04:29,377 --> 00:04:33,054
Shh. Wait a minute.
103
00:04:33,131 --> 00:04:33,930
You hear something?
104
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,181
Hmm-mm.
105
00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:36,166
You don't
hear nothing?
106
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,935
Hmm-mm.
107
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,737
Probably nothing.
108
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,399
(grunts)
109
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,051
Where you going?
110
00:04:46,128 --> 00:04:48,745
I want to check
the door in the den.
I'm not sure I locked it.
111
00:04:56,071 --> 00:04:58,005
(suspenseful music)
112
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,701
I don't know what's going on
with me, America.
113
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:15,138
Back home, I saw evil-doing
and crime all the time,
114
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,473
and I'm not ashamed to say
115
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,099
that Bernie Mac
might have been involved
116
00:05:18,176 --> 00:05:20,310
on the other side of it
on occasion.
117
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,312
It never made me jumpy before.
118
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,315
This good living
is making me soft.
119
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,867
Got to get my edge back.
120
00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,677
(suspenseful music)
121
00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:14,197
I'll bust your head...
122
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,366
-(screams)
-(screaming)
123
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,952
What you doing?
I almost killed you with my bat!
124
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,303
Bernie, what's happening?
125
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,164
Uncle Bernie almost killed me
with his bat!
126
00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:24,674
No more bat!
127
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,334
Oh, now-now, baby,
baby, listen...
128
00:06:26,411 --> 00:06:27,761
No, no, no!
129
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,884
Did you see that?
130
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:38,480
I almost clubbed Bryana
like a baby seal.
131
00:06:38,557 --> 00:06:41,024
(softly)
What's wrong with me, America?
132
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,892
I feel violated.
133
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,520
I can't go on like this.
134
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:48,648
I don't want you
to see me like this.
135
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,742
I got a image to maintain.
136
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,573
Cut the camera off.
137
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:59,284
(softly)
Cut it off.
138
00:07:02,739 --> 00:07:05,165
BERNIE: Gather round, kids.
I wanna show you something.
139
00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:06,833
You see this?
140
00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:08,409
This is not a toy.
141
00:07:08,486 --> 00:07:11,171
The next time someone tries
to break into our home,
142
00:07:11,247 --> 00:07:12,505
this may save our lives,
143
00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:14,507
provided we use
it correctly.
144
00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:18,219
The first one in
must use the code,
145
00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:19,471
and our code will be:
146
00:07:19,547 --> 00:07:22,182
1-3-8.
Let me hear you say it.
147
00:07:22,258 --> 00:07:23,275
ALL:
1-3-8.
148
00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,601
Thank you.
149
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,686
And here's a hint
to remind you of the code--
150
00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:29,230
it's the first three numbers
of our address.
151
00:07:29,307 --> 00:07:30,857
That's clever.
152
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:32,734
Thought of that myself.
153
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:34,027
Let's move on.
154
00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:35,528
The last one out
155
00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:38,531
must shut the door
and arm the system.
156
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:39,699
And how do you arm the system?
157
00:07:39,776 --> 00:07:41,534
You press "B-4,"
158
00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:45,205
as in, "Before I leave,
I must arm the system."
159
00:07:45,281 --> 00:07:47,207
If not, police will come,
160
00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:49,626
and you'll be arrested
as an accomplice.
161
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:52,378
That's right.
That means you're
going to go to jail,
162
00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,214
and I will send you to jail.
163
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:55,748
So remember:
164
00:07:55,826 --> 00:08:00,553
"B-4," and you got 15 seconds
to get out.
165
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:04,724
Let's move on.
Now, next is false alarm.
166
00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:07,685
If there's a false alarm,
the police will call,
167
00:08:07,762 --> 00:08:10,104
and you've got to give
the password.
168
00:08:10,181 --> 00:08:11,456
You've got to.
169
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,733
And the password's going to be
"Claudine,"
170
00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:15,118
'cause that's
my favorite movie.
171
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,904
I thought your favorite movie
was Cooley High.
172
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:20,573
Yeah, well, Cooley High's
my favorite Chicago movie,
173
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,575
Car Wash is
my favorite L.A. movie,
174
00:08:22,652 --> 00:08:24,202
and Claudine's my favorite
New York movie,
175
00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:26,579
along with
Cotton Comes to Harlem.
176
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,414
Let's just say that
Claudine's
177
00:08:28,491 --> 00:08:30,250
my favorite
Diahann Carroll movie.
178
00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:31,543
Who's Diahann Carroll?
179
00:08:31,619 --> 00:08:33,378
You don't know Dia...?
180
00:08:33,454 --> 00:08:37,257
Diahann Carroll...
181
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,900
Never mind.
182
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,469
I bet those kids feel safer
already, 'cause you know what?
183
00:08:41,546 --> 00:08:42,512
I know I do.
184
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:44,047
I have to admit,
185
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:47,600
this alarm system thing
was a great idea.
186
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:50,228
I don't know why I didn't get
myself one a long time ago.
187
00:08:50,305 --> 00:08:52,146
It's so simple.
188
00:08:52,223 --> 00:08:55,567
Look, I'm getting
my edge back.
189
00:08:55,643 --> 00:08:56,785
(exhales deeply)
190
00:08:58,479 --> 00:08:59,362
BERNIE:
Come on, y'all, let's go.
191
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,155
Let's go.
192
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,457
All right,
all right.
193
00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:03,575
Good, good.
194
00:09:03,651 --> 00:09:05,285
Now, everybody got everything?
195
00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:07,787
Nobody leaving
anything?
196
00:09:07,864 --> 00:09:09,389
'Cause I don't want
to get outside
197
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,999
for you all to realize
you forgot something.
198
00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:12,500
Okay? Come on. Let's go.
199
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:13,585
JORDAN:
I forgot my lunch.
200
00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:14,794
VANESSA:
I forgot my book.
201
00:09:14,871 --> 00:09:16,229
I want to go
with Vanessa.
202
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:17,973
Come on. Come on, Jordan!
Vanessa, we got to go!
203
00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:19,007
Come on!
204
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:21,801
Come on, man!
205
00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:22,936
Come on. Come on.
Let's go.
206
00:09:23,013 --> 00:09:24,938
Come on, baby girl.
207
00:09:25,015 --> 00:09:26,180
Good.
208
00:09:26,257 --> 00:09:27,190
Hold on.
209
00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:32,070
(alarm blaring)
210
00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:38,868
(alarm stops)
211
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,872
(whistling)
212
00:09:49,405 --> 00:09:50,663
-(alarm blaring)
-God!
213
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,540
Hey, Bernie,
how's it going?
214
00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:53,633
Good, Carl, how you doing?
215
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:55,001
How are the kids coming along?
216
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,169
Good, Carl.
217
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:57,654
-Hey, Bernie.
-Yeah?
218
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,339
I rented your Kings of Comedy
the other night.
219
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,448
Oh, no kidding.
220
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:02,634
-You were really funny.
-Thank you.
221
00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,344
A little filthy for my taste,
222
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,521
but that's what
they're doing now, right?
223
00:10:06,598 --> 00:10:08,982
-It's not for everybody, Carl.
-Oh, listen, hey.
224
00:10:09,059 --> 00:10:11,017
-(alarm continues blaring)
-I got to ask you.
225
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,543
Yeah?
226
00:10:12,621 --> 00:10:14,613
You know, Seedric...
Seedric, the Entertainer?
227
00:10:14,689 --> 00:10:15,721
His name's Cedric.
228
00:10:15,799 --> 00:10:17,390
He calls himself
an entertainer.
229
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,566
You're all entertainers.
I don't know why he does that.
230
00:10:18,643 --> 00:10:20,234
-Yeah. See you, Carl.
-Oh, uh...
231
00:10:20,311 --> 00:10:22,662
What's that phrase you use?
232
00:10:22,739 --> 00:10:24,697
(chuckling)
"Who's with you now ?"
233
00:10:24,774 --> 00:10:27,533
-It's "Who you with ?"
-Who you with?
234
00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:28,868
-Yeah, yeah.
-You're sure?
235
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:31,245
Not "who"...?
Well, it's probably funnier.
236
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,205
I got to go, Carl.
237
00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:33,665
Okay.
Hey, Bernie.
238
00:10:33,741 --> 00:10:35,342
Your alarm's going off.
239
00:10:35,418 --> 00:10:36,668
I hear it.
Don't you hear it?
240
00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:38,586
Yeah. You better
get in there.
241
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,180
May be a criminal in there.
242
00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:41,381
I hope not.
243
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,382
If there is, apprehend him.
244
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:43,383
You need help,
245
00:10:43,459 --> 00:10:44,550
don't come here.
246
00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:46,469
Okay, Carl.
247
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,680
Who's with you?
248
00:10:48,756 --> 00:10:50,940
No, no, who you with?
249
00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:57,697
(car door bell dinging)
250
00:11:01,769 --> 00:11:03,953
(house alarm blaring)
251
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,583
(blaring continues)
252
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:18,843
(alarm stops)
253
00:11:22,132 --> 00:11:24,757
-Hold it right there.
-No, no, no, sir.
I live here.
254
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,635
Well, be that as it may,
uh, your alarm was activated.
255
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,429
I'm going to need
your password.
256
00:11:29,505 --> 00:11:31,981
Um, my password.
257
00:11:33,342 --> 00:11:34,434
Uh...
258
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,768
Oh, Lord!
259
00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:38,271
Um... it's a black movie.
260
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:40,865
Um... Cooley High.
261
00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:43,284
Car Wash.
262
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,112
Cotton Comes to Harlem.
263
00:11:46,189 --> 00:11:49,115
Lilies of the Field.
264
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,333
Is this your daddy?
265
00:11:52,487 --> 00:11:56,089
-He's our uncle.
He stays here.
-What?
266
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:58,074
I stay here?
267
00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,293
No, you stay here.
I live here.
268
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:01,961
This is my house!
269
00:12:02,038 --> 00:12:03,463
All right.
Have a nice night,
270
00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:05,631
and, uh, learn
your password.
271
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:08,301
Thank you, officer.
272
00:12:08,377 --> 00:12:09,561
What is it?
273
00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:11,471
Mandingo?
274
00:12:11,547 --> 00:12:12,814
It's Claudine.
275
00:12:12,891 --> 00:12:13,931
When the man asked,
you should have said something.
276
00:12:14,008 --> 00:12:16,350
Go on with you now. Go on.
277
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,477
(all chuckling)
278
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:18,478
(indistinct noise)
279
00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:20,688
What was that?
280
00:12:20,765 --> 00:12:23,816
Did y'all hear something?
281
00:12:23,893 --> 00:12:26,652
Nah. That's all right.
282
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,038
This spot is secure.
283
00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:37,163
Seriously, man,
did y'all hear something?
284
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,332
That ain't funny.
285
00:12:39,408 --> 00:12:42,502
I paid a lot of doggone money
for this system.
286
00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:45,388
I'm supposed to feel secure.
287
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:49,175
It's starting again.
288
00:12:49,252 --> 00:12:53,012
There it goes again,
doggone it.
289
00:12:53,089 --> 00:12:55,190
Oh, Lord!
290
00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:00,478
W.B.:
Yo, man
291
00:13:00,555 --> 00:13:02,180
it's getting ugly out there.
292
00:13:02,256 --> 00:13:04,899
Last week a lady got jacked
at the gas station.
293
00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:06,108
-Yeah?
-You know, in broad daylight.
294
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:09,278
And dig, they let her fill up
the car first,
295
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,113
-then they took it.
-Scandalous.
296
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,456
Now that's low down, man.
297
00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:13,991
Hey, it's not safe out there
anymore, man.
298
00:13:14,068 --> 00:13:16,410
I haven't been to an ATM
in years, man.
299
00:13:16,487 --> 00:13:18,371
Hmm. Well, you ain't got
no money, either.
300
00:13:18,447 --> 00:13:20,799
That's cold.
301
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:21,999
No, I'm serious.
302
00:13:22,076 --> 00:13:23,501
I won't even let
my daughter
303
00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:24,877
go to the mall
alone, man.
304
00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:26,879
Packs of kids running
around, hanging out,
305
00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:27,931
you know, picking fights.
306
00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:29,882
"Where you from, fool?"
307
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:31,843
You know
what I'm sayin'?
It's dangerous, man.
308
00:13:31,919 --> 00:13:33,244
One of her girlfriends
309
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,012
almost got pulled
into someone's car.
310
00:13:35,089 --> 00:13:36,614
-ALL: What?!
-Yeah.
311
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,516
Now my family only goes
to the mall together, man.
312
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:41,185
I mean
in a bus, but...
313
00:13:41,262 --> 00:13:42,687
-(laughing)
-In a bus... in a bus.
314
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,022
-But y'all
are together.
-Yeah. Yeah.
315
00:13:45,099 --> 00:13:46,691
Yo, he-he's not kidding, man.
It's serious, man.
316
00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:49,485
You know, it's not just
about protecting
your house, man.
317
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:52,580
The question is how you going
to protect yourself, brother.
318
00:14:00,197 --> 00:14:02,173
You just trying to make me
paranoid, ain't ya?
319
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,917
BERNIE:
Y'all think we're tight now,
320
00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:07,879
we're even tighter
as a family.
321
00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:09,471
Because as of right now,
322
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,216
we're all going
to do everything together.
323
00:14:12,293 --> 00:14:13,184
Baby girl,
324
00:14:13,261 --> 00:14:15,052
you got to go to
ballet practice,
325
00:14:15,129 --> 00:14:17,722
we're all going with her...
together.
326
00:14:17,798 --> 00:14:18,931
Jordan,
327
00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:20,933
if you need
wheezin' medicine,
328
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:24,228
we're all going to
get it with him,
together.
329
00:14:24,305 --> 00:14:27,732
Nessa, if you want
to go to the movie
with your friend,
330
00:14:27,808 --> 00:14:30,118
we're all going to go...
together.
331
00:14:30,194 --> 00:14:33,070
Now I know it might sound
a little extreme,
332
00:14:33,147 --> 00:14:34,614
but that's all right.
333
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:36,741
But the last thing
I want, kids,
334
00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:39,076
is somebody to end up
killing you
335
00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:40,953
before I get a chance to.
336
00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:43,247
What if I have to go
to the bathroom?
337
00:14:43,324 --> 00:14:45,249
We're all going
to go with you.
338
00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:46,650
Together.
339
00:14:46,728 --> 00:14:49,253
We'll just close our eyes...
together.
340
00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:51,389
Uncle Bernie,
that's really gross.
341
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:53,424
You keep your lips...
together.
342
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:54,634
I hate him.
343
00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:56,052
Hatin' is fine.
344
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:59,439
Long as we hate... together.
345
00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:13,036
So, you want to work
on our vaults?
346
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:14,278
Aren't you tired?
347
00:15:14,355 --> 00:15:16,280
Yeah, but I don't want
to go home.
348
00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:18,115
My uncle's driving
me crazy.
349
00:15:18,192 --> 00:15:19,617
Why don't we
go to the mall?
350
00:15:19,694 --> 00:15:21,661
Great.
351
00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:22,787
Hey, baby.
352
00:15:22,863 --> 00:15:25,289
Hi, Shannon.
353
00:15:25,366 --> 00:15:26,666
What y'all getting ready to do?
354
00:15:26,742 --> 00:15:28,125
We're going to the mall.
355
00:15:28,202 --> 00:15:30,670
Hey, kids, we're getting ready
to go to the mall.
356
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,162
Shannon invited me.
357
00:15:35,876 --> 00:15:38,302
Come on, now, Nessa,
you know the rules.
358
00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:40,188
We do everything together.
359
00:15:40,264 --> 00:15:42,014
You mean that stupid rule
that you made up
360
00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:43,358
just because you're scared?
361
00:15:46,887 --> 00:15:48,479
All right, then, Nessa.
362
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,815
You trying to bust me
in front of your friend?
363
00:15:50,891 --> 00:15:53,317
I'm going to show you
how scared I am.
364
00:15:53,394 --> 00:15:55,027
From now on, you're grounded.
365
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:56,320
Know what that mean, Nessa?
366
00:15:56,397 --> 00:15:57,997
That mean you stay
in the house.
367
00:15:58,074 --> 00:15:59,824
So, when you want
to see your friend,
368
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,659
your friend got to come over
and see you.
369
00:16:01,736 --> 00:16:04,462
Now, I'm going to tell you
something else, Nessa.
370
00:16:04,539 --> 00:16:07,331
Since I'm so scared,
we're all punished together.
371
00:16:07,408 --> 00:16:09,000
That's right.
372
00:16:09,076 --> 00:16:10,318
And you know what else?
373
00:16:10,394 --> 00:16:11,502
You got to thank your sister
for that.
374
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,129
So why don't we thank her
together.
375
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:14,588
Say, "Thank you, Nessa."
376
00:16:14,665 --> 00:16:16,841
BOTH:
Thank you, Nessa.
377
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:18,843
That's how scared I am.
378
00:16:18,919 --> 00:16:19,802
(growls)
379
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:22,138
Come on!
380
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:26,734
(Bryana crying)
381
00:16:28,229 --> 00:16:29,520
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
382
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,063
Bryana, what happened?
383
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:32,523
(door closes)
384
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,399
Aunt Wanda,
385
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:34,817
you've got
to help us.
386
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:35,818
What is going on?
387
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:36,819
Bryana, are you hurt?
388
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,196
No, I was
just pretending.
389
00:16:39,273 --> 00:16:41,741
Look, Uncle Bernie
is ruining our lives.
390
00:16:41,817 --> 00:16:42,867
He punished us all,
391
00:16:42,943 --> 00:16:44,836
and we can't even leave
the house.
392
00:16:44,912 --> 00:16:46,412
And the only way
we can see our friends
393
00:16:46,489 --> 00:16:48,873
-is if they come over here.
-Here!
394
00:16:48,949 --> 00:16:52,877
Your Uncle Bernie was a little
shaken up by the break-in.
395
00:16:52,953 --> 00:16:55,713
He just needs some time
to deal with it.
396
00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:57,122
What's the big deal?
397
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,759
They used to break
in our house
every week in Chicago.
398
00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:01,385
One time it was
my mama's friend
399
00:17:01,462 --> 00:17:02,887
what she said
was our uncle.
400
00:17:02,963 --> 00:17:05,189
Well...
401
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:06,599
Can't you
get a divorce?
402
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,151
If you leave him now,
you can get half.
403
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:09,769
The car,
maybe even the house.
404
00:17:09,845 --> 00:17:10,770
Mm-hmm.
405
00:17:10,846 --> 00:17:12,262
You know, kids...
406
00:17:12,340 --> 00:17:14,774
he really does care about you.
407
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,868
And this won't
last for long.
408
00:17:16,944 --> 00:17:18,227
But...
409
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:22,073
in the meantime,
if he says have friends over...
410
00:17:22,149 --> 00:17:24,658
have friends over.
411
00:17:24,735 --> 00:17:27,787
Hmm...
412
00:17:27,863 --> 00:17:29,413
(knocking)
413
00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:33,843
Okay.
What's up,
you squares?
414
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,169
How you doing?
415
00:17:35,246 --> 00:17:38,672
♪ Why, because of the colorof their skin ♪
416
00:17:38,749 --> 00:17:43,135
♪ Run, run, run, butyou sho' can't hide ♪
417
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,895
(clattering)
418
00:17:44,973 --> 00:17:47,723
♪ An eye for an eye, atooth for a tooth ♪
419
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,893
♪ Vote for me andI'll set you free ♪
420
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,112
(kids yelling)
421
00:17:53,764 --> 00:17:54,697
♪ Rap on ♪
422
00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:58,159
♪ Well, the onlyperson talkin' ♪
423
00:17:58,236 --> 00:18:01,779
♪ 'Bout love thybrother is the preacher ♪
424
00:18:01,856 --> 00:18:04,949
♪ And it seems nobody'sinterested in learning ♪
425
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,709
Ah! Get out of there.
426
00:18:08,863 --> 00:18:11,789
♪ Segregation,determination, demonstration ♪
427
00:18:11,866 --> 00:18:13,124
(growls)
428
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,459
(kids laughing)
429
00:18:15,536 --> 00:18:19,263
♪ Ball Of Confusion ♪
430
00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:24,393
♪ That's what theworld is today ♪
431
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:30,224
♪ The sale of pills is atan all time high ♪
432
00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:33,394
♪ Young folks walkin' 'roundwith their heads in the sky ♪
433
00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:36,313
♪ Cities aflame in thesummer time ♪
434
00:18:36,390 --> 00:18:39,867
♪ And oh the beat goes on ♪
435
00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,830
(laughing)
436
00:18:45,566 --> 00:18:47,449
♪ Evolution, revolution,gun control ♪
437
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:48,576
♪ The sound of soul ♪
438
00:18:48,652 --> 00:18:49,994
♪ Shootin' rocketsto the moon ♪
439
00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:51,745
♪ Kids growin'up too soon ♪
440
00:18:51,822 --> 00:18:54,498
♪ Politicians saymore taxes ♪
441
00:18:54,575 --> 00:18:56,125
Hey! Hey...!
442
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:57,126
You think it's funny,
huh?
443
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,127
Now, get the hell
out of here.
444
00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,086
Get the hell
out of my house!
445
00:18:59,163 --> 00:19:00,504
Everybody, out! Out!
446
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,614
Oh, no, sir.
447
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,132
Right here, right here.
Nope, nope.
448
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:04,508
You stay here.
449
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:06,510
Out!
450
00:19:06,587 --> 00:19:10,055
♪ Where the world's headednobody knows ♪
451
00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:11,515
VANESSA:
Man, why don't you
just lock us
452
00:19:11,592 --> 00:19:12,975
in our room
until we're 21.
453
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,418
JORDAN:
Yeah!
454
00:19:14,495 --> 00:19:15,570
That's the best thing
I've heard all doggone day.
455
00:19:15,646 --> 00:19:18,355
I haven't seen daylight
in two days.
456
00:19:18,432 --> 00:19:19,815
You want to see some sun, Nessa?
457
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,285
Go in the kitchen,
and look up at the skylight.
458
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,154
Oh, you didn't know
we had a skylight?
You know why?
459
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,156
'Cause you ain't never had
your butt at home!
460
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,200
I want to go outside
and dig for bugs!
461
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,160
You know what, I tried
to look out for you kids!
462
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:32,620
Y'all don't appreciate nothin'!
463
00:19:32,696 --> 00:19:34,538
-What?!
-How can you say that?
464
00:19:34,615 --> 00:19:38,042
(all yelling)
465
00:19:38,118 --> 00:19:40,303
...next, you're going
to wake up dead...
466
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:41,679
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
467
00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:43,380
MAN (on TV):
...and two more people
468
00:19:43,457 --> 00:19:46,217
are being led outof the house now.
469
00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:47,509
We believe the situationhas been stabilized
470
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,719
although it is unclear...
471
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:49,987
Come here, baby.
472
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,847
...whether the gashas been shut off.
473
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,057
Wait a minute...
474
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:56,060
Can you tell mehis condition?
475
00:19:56,136 --> 00:19:57,895
It is stable?
476
00:19:57,972 --> 00:19:59,155
This is a miracle.
477
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,523
It looks tonight,everyone, as if no one
478
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,359
has been seriously hurt.
479
00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:05,703
To recap, for those of youwho have just tuned in,
480
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:08,239
it appears that a gas pipehas burst
481
00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:10,065
at this home in Pomona.
482
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:12,993
And we believe at this timeeveryone's gotten out safely.
483
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,578
It really is...wait a minute.
484
00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:16,830
Wait...I'm just getting word
485
00:20:16,907 --> 00:20:20,376
that there is one more personinside of that house.
486
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:23,254
They're bringingthem out now.
487
00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:27,591
It appears to bea little girl.
488
00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:31,262
What's that?She's not moving?
489
00:20:31,338 --> 00:20:36,767
I don't thinkthe little girl has made it.
490
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:39,153
It does look as ifthe little girl has died
491
00:20:39,230 --> 00:20:42,731
from this gas leak tonight.
492
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:46,026
This is an unexpectedturn of events.
493
00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:51,082
Triumph turning into tragedybefore our very eyes.
494
00:20:51,158 --> 00:20:54,285
The ambulance nowleaving the scene.
495
00:20:54,361 --> 00:20:56,453
There's not much moreI can say.
496
00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:59,373
Reporting live from Pomona,I'm John Charles.
497
00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:00,924
BERNIE:
You know something, America?
498
00:21:01,002 --> 00:21:02,376
You try to protect your familythe best you can,
499
00:21:02,453 --> 00:21:03,961
but in the end,
500
00:21:04,038 --> 00:21:06,255
there's not really muchyou can do.
501
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:08,340
'Cause, see, gas pipes burst.
502
00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:09,883
People rob houses.
503
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,969
Planes fly into buildings.
504
00:21:12,046 --> 00:21:13,387
So, what you gonna do?
505
00:21:13,464 --> 00:21:14,638
You gonna live in fear?
506
00:21:14,715 --> 00:21:17,099
You got to live your life.
507
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:19,893
Have fun. Be yourself.
508
00:21:19,970 --> 00:21:21,445
Make mistakes.
509
00:21:21,522 --> 00:21:23,897
See, Bernie Mac
may have overreacted,
510
00:21:23,974 --> 00:21:27,776
but one thing he did get right:
it's important to be together.
511
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,653
See, I told you once before,
America,
512
00:21:29,730 --> 00:21:33,240
we're family.
You and I, we are family.
513
00:21:33,317 --> 00:21:35,117
Always and forever.
514
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,877
Y'all take care.
515
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:43,625
I got to ask you
a personal question.
516
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:45,544
-What's that, Carl?
-(alarm blares continuously)
517
00:21:45,621 --> 00:21:47,296
I need a cap here.
Where do you get your caps?
518
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,798
-Who's your dentist?
-It's Dr. Beeder.
519
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,642
They're not caps, Carl.
These are my real teeth.
520
00:21:51,719 --> 00:21:54,011
If those are not caps,
if those are real,
521
00:21:54,088 --> 00:21:58,098
that's the best teeth
in the history of the world.
522
00:21:58,175 --> 00:21:59,433
Thank you, Carl.
523
00:21:59,510 --> 00:22:01,935
You and Julie Andrews,
number one and two
524
00:22:02,012 --> 00:22:03,437
in the world of smiling.
525
00:22:03,514 --> 00:22:05,156
-Thank you.
-You're number one.
526
00:22:05,232 --> 00:22:06,190
Who's with you?
527
00:22:06,266 --> 00:22:07,274
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
528
00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,993
No, no. Who you with?
37203
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