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1
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,806
Hey, you see this?
2
00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:27,142
I won this
back in high school.
3
00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:29,352
That's right.
It was for football.
4
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,813
America,
Bernie Mac was a fullback.
5
00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:33,899
I mean, All-State.
6
00:00:33,975 --> 00:00:37,861
I was BMOC--
Big Mac on Campus.
7
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,030
Man, I remember
how proud Big Mama was
8
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:41,406
when I brought this home.
9
00:00:41,483 --> 00:00:44,367
She made a big fuss.
I never will forget.
10
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,204
See, that's why I created
the Mac Hall of Fame.
11
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,123
A place where the ungrateful,
lazy, unmotivated kids
12
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,542
can show some of their
greatest achievements.
13
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:55,962
Give them some pride
like Big Mama gave me.
14
00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:58,757
Take a look.
15
00:00:58,834 --> 00:01:01,685
I was rough, boy. Pow.
16
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,145
Pow.
17
00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:07,682
Look at that.
Citizenship Award.
18
00:01:07,759 --> 00:01:08,934
That look real nice.
19
00:01:09,010 --> 00:01:10,352
Ain't that something, baby?
20
00:01:10,428 --> 00:01:12,771
Sure is.
Congratulations, baby.
21
00:01:12,848 --> 00:01:14,940
We're so proud of you.
22
00:01:15,016 --> 00:01:16,942
I'm proud of me, too.
23
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,568
Way to go, sis.
24
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:19,778
No big deal.
25
00:01:19,855 --> 00:01:21,205
It's just a piece of paper.
26
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,989
It's not like she
really won anything.
27
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:25,575
You know, you got a real
big mouth on you, son.
28
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:28,495
Do I see your name
up here on anything?
29
00:01:28,572 --> 00:01:29,579
No.
30
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,373
I didn't think so.
31
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,083
Baby girl, congratulations.
32
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,669
You have now been
officially inducted
33
00:01:35,745 --> 00:01:38,347
into the Mac Hall of Fame.
34
00:01:38,423 --> 00:01:40,432
Yay.
35
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:50,767
Jordan, what are you
doing in here?
36
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,227
What's that jar there for?
37
00:01:52,304 --> 00:01:53,845
I put it there.
38
00:01:53,923 --> 00:01:55,781
Now there's something of mine
in the Mac Hall of Fame, too.
39
00:01:58,476 --> 00:02:00,235
Look like a hairy caterpillar.
40
00:02:00,312 --> 00:02:02,445
That's a
Manduca sexta.
41
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:03,664
It's rare.
42
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,742
Boy, you got to stop
being so weird.
43
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,119
You don't want
to be known
44
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,720
as the crazy bug boy.
45
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,081
The strange kid in
the playground who eats bugs.
46
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:15,125
-I don't eat them.
-It's just a matter of time.
47
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:16,793
Look, Jordan,
48
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:21,965
son, the Mac Hall of Fame
is a shrine for achievement.
49
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,926
It's for the best,
the strongest,
50
00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:27,304
the fastest, the most.
51
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,439
Do you understand
that, Jordan?
52
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:30,649
Okay.
53
00:02:35,013 --> 00:02:37,147
Bugs.
54
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:39,950
The Mac Hall of Fame
is for achievement.
55
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,718
If bugs are an achievement,
56
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,446
then the kitchen in the projects
was crawling with achievements.
57
00:02:44,522 --> 00:02:47,115
Tell me what to put
in the hall of fame--bugs?
58
00:02:47,192 --> 00:02:48,950
Why do I bother?
59
00:02:49,027 --> 00:02:50,493
I'm raising the bug boy.
60
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:55,373
America, I've depressed myself.
61
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:56,925
Here, Uncle Bernie,
my report card, look.
62
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,468
It says the most improved
in gym.
63
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,722
Is that right?
Let me see.
64
00:03:03,208 --> 00:03:05,759
Jordan, two Ds and a C?
65
00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:07,060
That's awful.
66
00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:10,305
Yeah, but it's still the most.
67
00:03:10,382 --> 00:03:13,058
It also says
the most disruptive.
68
00:03:13,134 --> 00:03:14,851
That's still the most.
69
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:15,894
That's not what I meant.
70
00:03:15,971 --> 00:03:17,379
Yeah, but that's what you said.
71
00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:19,147
You shouldn't have said it
if you don't mean it.
72
00:03:19,224 --> 00:03:20,774
You're not being the most clear.
73
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,576
Who you talking to?
74
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,155
Congratulations, Jordan.
75
00:03:27,232 --> 00:03:29,324
Now you're going to get
the most punishment.
76
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:32,377
You stay in there and
be the most quiet.
77
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,045
I have a trophy.
78
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,162
How'd you get it?
79
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,348
I was on
the football team.
80
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:45,882
I thought you guys
stunk last year.
81
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,467
We did.
82
00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:49,678
But you get a trophy just
for being on the team.
83
00:03:49,754 --> 00:03:51,596
You do?
84
00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,390
Weren't you afraid
of getting hurt?
85
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:55,392
I hardly ever played.
86
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:56,568
Oh.
87
00:03:57,762 --> 00:03:59,238
JORDAN:
Guess what, Uncle Bernie?
88
00:03:59,314 --> 00:04:02,023
Son, what I tell you
about the rules, Jordan?
89
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,533
I'm not supposed to talk to you
90
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,869
unless the house is on fire
or I'm bringing you a beer.
91
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,823
(sniffs)
I don't smell no smoke
and I don't see no foam.
92
00:04:09,899 --> 00:04:10,949
(sighs)
93
00:04:11,026 --> 00:04:12,509
Okay.
94
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:16,505
I just want you to
sign this permission
slip for football.
95
00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:17,980
Football?
96
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,792
Jordan, I didn't even know
you liked football.
97
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:22,210
I love it.
98
00:04:22,287 --> 00:04:24,337
I would've played last year,
but my asthma flared up,
99
00:04:24,414 --> 00:04:26,589
and the year before
that, I had hives.
100
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,175
And the year before that,
they thought I had polio,
101
00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:30,260
but this year I feel great.
102
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,387
-Your heart all right?
-Mm-hmm.
103
00:04:32,464 --> 00:04:35,181
-You feel great,
huh, son?
-Yeah.
104
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,267
Football.
Ain't that something?
105
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:38,601
All right.
106
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,103
How about me and you
going outside
107
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,479
and have a little catch?
Here.
108
00:04:41,556 --> 00:04:42,839
What about your stories?
109
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,566
Man, I'm not thinking
about no doggone...
110
00:04:44,642 --> 00:04:47,569
This is more important.
Come on, Jordan.
111
00:04:47,645 --> 00:04:49,362
'Cause I was getting
a little worried about you
112
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:50,447
eating those bugs, man.
113
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:52,032
I don't eat 'em.
114
00:04:52,108 --> 00:04:53,283
But every time I turn around,
you had one in your mouth.
115
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,784
I didn't!
116
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,461
-You were bugging me.
-No, I...!
117
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,709
BERNIE:
You know what, Jordan?
118
00:05:02,786 --> 00:05:04,836
There are two firsts that
comes in every man's life
119
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:07,464
that will stay with them
till the day they die.
120
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,675
One you're too young
to hear right now.
121
00:05:10,752 --> 00:05:15,096
Number two is having your
official football uniform.
122
00:05:15,173 --> 00:05:17,182
Look at this.
123
00:05:17,258 --> 00:05:19,934
Your practice jersey.
124
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:23,021
Game jersey.
125
00:05:23,098 --> 00:05:24,856
Shoulder pads.
126
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,524
And your helmet.
127
00:05:26,601 --> 00:05:29,611
I'm going to win a trophy.
128
00:05:29,687 --> 00:05:31,580
That's the attitude,
Jordan.
129
00:05:33,858 --> 00:05:35,200
Now hold on.
130
00:05:35,276 --> 00:05:36,560
Now that's the most
important thing
131
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,411
you'll receive in your
young life right now.
132
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:40,497
That's your official cup.
133
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:41,706
You drink out of it?
134
00:05:41,783 --> 00:05:44,584
No, don't put that
on your mouth, son. No.
135
00:05:44,661 --> 00:05:47,045
You wear that to protect
your pebbles.
136
00:05:47,122 --> 00:05:48,338
Your pebbles?
137
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:50,090
Your mule.
138
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:51,466
Oh...
139
00:05:51,543 --> 00:05:53,218
Your secret weapon.
140
00:05:53,294 --> 00:05:55,428
I got to keep
my stuff safe.
141
00:05:55,505 --> 00:05:57,055
That's right,
that's right,
family jewels.
142
00:05:57,132 --> 00:05:59,057
Boy, you a Mac.
143
00:05:59,134 --> 00:06:00,183
-You know what?
-Hmm?
144
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,943
Last year, I wouldn't
have needed it.
145
00:06:04,305 --> 00:06:05,822
Let's move on.
146
00:06:09,361 --> 00:06:11,236
Uncle Bernie says
hurry up.
147
00:06:11,312 --> 00:06:12,371
I'll be right there.
148
00:06:12,447 --> 00:06:14,197
I just have to get
this stain out.
149
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,157
But won't it get dirty
when you play?
150
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:17,659
I'm not going to play.
151
00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:20,745
I'm just going to be on the team
and sit on the bench.
152
00:06:20,822 --> 00:06:23,540
But don't you want
to win a trophy?
153
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:25,917
Everyone on the team
gets a trophy.
154
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:28,920
And they're bigger
than certificates.
155
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:30,730
Hey, yo.
156
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,298
Come on, man. You don't want
to be late for the first game.
157
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:34,050
Come on. Don't worry about that.
158
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,519
Come on, baby girl.
159
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,771
Man, look here.
You're going to do great, man.
160
00:06:44,179 --> 00:06:45,928
Down! Set, hut!
161
00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:50,775
Dag, that boy good.
162
00:06:50,852 --> 00:06:52,035
-Best on the team.
-Look.
163
00:06:53,521 --> 00:06:56,781
Ooh, he's sweet.
164
00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,366
Yes!
165
00:06:58,443 --> 00:07:00,043
-That's sweet.
-Yeah, baby!
Yeah, baby!
166
00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:04,789
Okay, okay, okay.
167
00:07:04,866 --> 00:07:06,624
All right, okay.
Mr. Mac, please.
168
00:07:06,701 --> 00:07:08,552
-Okay.
-Okay, defense.
169
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:12,380
Nagle, Shores, Benedict,
Richter, uh...
170
00:07:12,457 --> 00:07:14,632
Who hasn't played yet?
Jordan.
171
00:07:14,709 --> 00:07:16,176
Byron hasn't
gone in yet.
172
00:07:16,252 --> 00:07:17,469
All right, Byron,
get in there.
173
00:07:17,545 --> 00:07:19,721
Jordan, he hasn't
gone in either.
174
00:07:19,797 --> 00:07:21,473
-All right, Jordan,
get in there.
-Yeah!
175
00:07:21,549 --> 00:07:23,349
Three and out, baby.
176
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,810
Three and out!
Three and out, baby!
177
00:07:25,887 --> 00:07:27,070
You a Mac.
178
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:37,080
Set, hut.
179
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:49,792
Okay, Jordan,
Byron, Richter, out.
180
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:51,419
Jordan, Jordan,
listen, listen.
181
00:07:51,496 --> 00:07:53,880
Don't worry about it.
It's a long season.
182
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,548
You'll find your game.
You a Mac.
183
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:58,676
The boy's bad.
I mean, unskilled.
184
00:07:58,753 --> 00:08:00,512
Not even raw talent.
185
00:08:00,588 --> 00:08:02,680
I did tell you
he's my sister's kid, right?
186
00:08:02,757 --> 00:08:04,557
Yeah, y'all know the story.
187
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:05,600
You know, she's on crack.
188
00:08:05,677 --> 00:08:08,570
Just take a little time.
189
00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:10,104
He might be a late bloomer.
190
00:08:10,181 --> 00:08:11,198
Rome wasn't built overnight.
191
00:08:11,274 --> 00:08:14,025
Might... be a computer whiz.
192
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,568
You never know.
193
00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:17,195
He could be president.
194
00:08:17,272 --> 00:08:19,614
He might get a sex change
or something, you know.
195
00:08:19,691 --> 00:08:21,866
I'll still be there
to support him.
196
00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,710
I did tell you
he's my sister's kid, right?
197
00:08:23,787 --> 00:08:25,212
First Negro president.
198
00:08:25,288 --> 00:08:26,329
You go, boy.
199
00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:31,051
Ready, break!
200
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:37,882
Down.
201
00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:38,934
Set, hut!
202
00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:43,021
Go, go, go, go!
203
00:08:43,098 --> 00:08:44,889
(applause)
204
00:08:44,966 --> 00:08:46,558
Yes, sir!
205
00:08:46,634 --> 00:08:47,734
Your son is great.
206
00:08:47,811 --> 00:08:49,227
Thank you, baby,
thank you.
207
00:08:49,304 --> 00:08:50,812
Your son?
That's my son.
208
00:08:50,888 --> 00:08:52,213
That's what I mean.
I didn't mean no harm.
209
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,741
I mean, I tell you
one thing.
Your son is fearless.
210
00:08:54,818 --> 00:08:56,317
He takes after
his old man.
211
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,620
-You play a little football?
-Just a little.
212
00:08:58,697 --> 00:09:00,438
Well, I know one thing.
213
00:09:00,515 --> 00:09:03,616
That boy probably going
to bring us a championship.
214
00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:05,535
Get a trophy for sure.
215
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,828
Well, all the kids
get trophies
216
00:09:06,904 --> 00:09:07,954
just for being
on the team.
217
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:09,330
-They all get trophies?
-Uh-huh.
218
00:09:09,407 --> 00:09:11,082
What kind of mess is that?
219
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,792
Brother, I got my own
Mac Hall of Fame.
220
00:09:12,869 --> 00:09:15,178
The only trophy going to be
on that is one you earn.
221
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:19,591
You have your own
hall of fame?
222
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:21,343
That's right.
223
00:09:21,419 --> 00:09:22,969
Obviously, you didn't play
enough football to understand.
224
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:26,431
Well, actually, I have played
a fair amount of organized ball.
225
00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:29,225
What, Pop Warner?
Junior high?
226
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,476
(chuckles)
227
00:09:30,553 --> 00:09:32,478
No, try Super Bowl MV.
228
00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:34,864
You? Damn.
229
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,775
Brother, that's sweet.
230
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,335
It is sweet,
isn't it?
231
00:09:42,607 --> 00:09:44,240
Coach, can I
go back in?
232
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,117
(sighs)
233
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,128
All right, go in for Park.
234
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,381
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
235
00:09:58,581 --> 00:10:00,223
BERNIE'S VOICE:
Fearless.
236
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,300
Fearless.
237
00:10:02,377 --> 00:10:04,594
Championship.
238
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,146
Down. Set, hut!
239
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,316
Fearless.
240
00:10:11,386 --> 00:10:12,777
Fearless.
241
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,296
(crowd groans)
242
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:20,485
COACH:
Jordan, you okay?
243
00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:22,612
Jordan?
Jordan, you okay?
244
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,031
Jordan.
Jordan, wake up.
245
00:10:25,108 --> 00:10:26,032
You okay?
246
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:28,034
Jordan. Jordan.
247
00:10:28,111 --> 00:10:30,119
Boy, that was one hell
of a hit there, son.
248
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,497
That was sweet.
249
00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:33,757
You a Mac.
250
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,959
Come on. Come on.
Come on, son.
251
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:40,972
(applause)
252
00:10:41,049 --> 00:10:42,840
Ready? Break!
253
00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:46,719
("War" by Edwin Starr plays)
254
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:49,389
♪ War, huh, yeah ♪
255
00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:50,556
Down.
256
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:51,724
Set, hut.
257
00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:53,685
♪ Absolutely nothing ♪
258
00:10:53,761 --> 00:10:55,520
♪ uh huh ♪
259
00:10:55,596 --> 00:10:58,606
♪ War, huh, yeah ♪
260
00:10:58,683 --> 00:11:00,533
♪ What is it good for ♪
261
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:01,693
♪ Absolutely nothing ♪
262
00:11:01,769 --> 00:11:03,828
Ready? Break!
263
00:11:03,905 --> 00:11:06,698
♪ War, huh, good god ♪
264
00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:09,367
♪ What is it good for ♪
265
00:11:09,444 --> 00:11:11,619
♪ Absolutely nothing ♪
266
00:11:11,696 --> 00:11:13,246
Down. Set, hut!
267
00:11:13,322 --> 00:11:17,709
♪♪
268
00:11:17,785 --> 00:11:19,344
(crowd groans)
269
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,756
♪ Say it, say it,say it, say it ♪
270
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,133
♪ What is it good for ♪
271
00:11:25,209 --> 00:11:26,351
Yes!
272
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:29,429
That a way!
That a way!
273
00:11:29,505 --> 00:11:30,722
Superstar.
274
00:11:30,798 --> 00:11:32,181
Baby, listen.
275
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,591
Let me tell y'all.
276
00:11:33,668 --> 00:11:35,643
Tell them the story, man, again.
Go ahead, go ahead.
277
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,894
Again?
278
00:11:36,971 --> 00:11:38,229
Bernie, we heard it
three times.
279
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,731
I know, sweetheart.
280
00:11:39,807 --> 00:11:41,983
But every time he tell it,
we learn something different.
281
00:11:42,059 --> 00:11:43,576
Go ahead, son.
Tell the story.
282
00:11:43,653 --> 00:11:45,695
Tell them how the boy
was barreling down at you, man,
283
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,113
with the ball
coming straight at you.
284
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,865
You know the story.
Tell it. Listen.
285
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,032
Okay. Now there
was the kid,
286
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,559
barreling down at me
with the ball.
287
00:11:51,636 --> 00:11:54,412
I knew if I didn't do something,
he was going to score.
288
00:11:54,489 --> 00:11:55,663
So I went into action.
289
00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:57,874
Doggone, I love this part.
Listen...
290
00:11:57,950 --> 00:11:59,508
So he was coming at me,
291
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,335
and I threw myself at him
with all my might.
292
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,587
No, baby.
293
00:12:02,663 --> 00:12:04,589
He shot out
like a ballistic missile.
294
00:12:04,665 --> 00:12:08,426
I mean, he looked almost like,
uh... a... a... human torpedo.
295
00:12:08,503 --> 00:12:09,552
Bernie, stop exaggerating.
296
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,512
No, baby, I'm not.
I'm serious.
297
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:12,897
That's what the
audience called him.
298
00:12:12,974 --> 00:12:14,190
Nessa, they call him
Torpedo.
299
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,966
He hit the boy so hard,
I'm telling you,
300
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,602
the boy got up,
and he talking in tongues.
301
00:12:17,678 --> 00:12:19,771
-Shala-bala.
Hala-bala-lala.
-(laughter)
302
00:12:19,847 --> 00:12:21,439
I'm not kidding you.
303
00:12:21,516 --> 00:12:24,192
The boy was so dizzy,
he got up, he said,
"Where'd he go, George?"
304
00:12:24,268 --> 00:12:25,744
I'll tell you
where he went.
305
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:27,278
He went all the way
into the end zone.
306
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:28,571
-That's where he went.
-He fumbled.
307
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:31,699
No, sir, sir.
You forced the fumble.
308
00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:34,368
You hit that boy so hard,
he dropped the ball,
309
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,580
and one of your teammates came
and scooped the ball up
310
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,291
and ran in the end zone.
Touchdown!
311
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:41,968
Yay!
312
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,379
But I didn't get
to see it, though,
313
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,515
because I was too busy
trying to breathe.
314
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:48,958
And you were what?
315
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:49,825
I was busy trying
to breathe.
316
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:50,927
Let me tell you something.
317
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:54,972
Torpedo, it was the greatest
thing I ever seen.
318
00:12:55,049 --> 00:12:57,809
Uh, Bernie,
why couldn't he breathe?
319
00:12:57,885 --> 00:12:59,485
Um, he's breathing now.
He's fine.
320
00:12:59,563 --> 00:13:01,729
He just got the wind
knocked out of him.
That's all.
321
00:13:01,806 --> 00:13:03,314
He has asthma.
322
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,817
Well, then, he should be used
to not breathing.
323
00:13:05,893 --> 00:13:08,069
The point I'm trying to make is
it's all about fun.
324
00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:10,696
See, they don't understand, son.
Don't understand.
325
00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:11,697
Uncle Bernie,
can I have
326
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:12,698
another piece
of cake?
327
00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:14,751
Sir, Torpedo,
328
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:18,621
you can have anything
you want. Here.
329
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:19,622
Go ahead. Take mine.
330
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:20,924
Oh.
331
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,125
I'm so proud
of you, Jordan.
332
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,135
Baby, you should've seen...
333
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:32,176
The Torpedo!
I knew he had it in him.
334
00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:35,555
He's a Mac.
He's got that Mac strength.
335
00:13:35,631 --> 00:13:38,399
Maybe I should adopt him
legally.
336
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:44,981
Nah. I'll wait to see
if they win the championship.
337
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:47,233
Good night, baby.
338
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:50,778
Honey... I'm worried
about Jordan.
339
00:13:50,855 --> 00:13:52,071
He was limping today,
340
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:54,448
and I'm scared
he's really going to get hurt.
341
00:13:54,525 --> 00:13:56,158
Wanda, come on, now,
you're not becoming
342
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,869
one of them
overprotective parents
343
00:13:57,945 --> 00:14:00,454
afraid to let their
kid play football,
now, baby? Come on.
344
00:14:00,531 --> 00:14:01,688
No, Bernie.
345
00:14:01,766 --> 00:14:03,624
I love football.
I grew up with it.
346
00:14:03,701 --> 00:14:05,585
All of my brothers
played football,
347
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,386
my boyfriends.
348
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,755
In college,
I dated an all-state safety.
349
00:14:09,832 --> 00:14:11,966
In fact,
we almost got married and...
350
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:13,926
Get to the meat, Wanda.
351
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:16,387
I think Jordan is doing this
for you.
352
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:19,557
He knows you love football.
He's trying to impress you.
353
00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:23,436
He wants your approval
even if it hurts him.
354
00:14:23,512 --> 00:14:26,439
Come on, Wanda, come on,
honestly speaking
355
00:14:26,515 --> 00:14:28,816
if I felt that boy was
in any kind of harm's way,
356
00:14:28,893 --> 00:14:30,443
Wanda, I would pull him.
357
00:14:30,519 --> 00:14:32,036
You promise?
358
00:14:33,397 --> 00:14:34,755
I swear.
359
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,783
And I ain't lying, America.
I would.
360
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:40,077
And besides,
nothing's going to happen.
361
00:14:40,154 --> 00:14:42,038
And even if it did,
God forbid,
362
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:44,790
you know, it's not like
it's the end of the world.
363
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:46,334
The boy is young.
364
00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:48,336
He's got
plenty of time to heal.
365
00:14:48,412 --> 00:14:50,087
And they're doing
tremendous things
366
00:14:50,164 --> 00:14:51,723
with stem cells these days.
367
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:56,886
Look, Jordan, you're
kind of banged up.
368
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,314
Maybe you need to take
it easy tomorrow.
369
00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:02,016
But, Uncle Bernie,
I got to be the Torpedo.
370
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:04,977
If we win tomorrow, we're going
to the division finals.
371
00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:07,104
If I get
a championship trophy,
372
00:15:07,181 --> 00:15:09,440
would you put it up
in the Mac Hall of Fame?
373
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:12,526
Championship trophy?
Boy, you kidding?
374
00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:15,488
Jordan, that'd be
the proudest day of my life.
375
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:18,199
All right, then, Torpedo,
you need anything?
376
00:15:18,275 --> 00:15:20,826
Can I get you something,
like some ice cream?
377
00:15:20,903 --> 00:15:22,286
(groans)
378
00:15:22,363 --> 00:15:24,881
No. Just maybe some more ice.
379
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,166
What's wrong, Jordan?
Is it your rib?
380
00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:29,385
Did you crack a rib?
381
00:15:31,839 --> 00:15:33,765
BOY:
Down! Set! Hut!
382
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:40,513
(cheering)
383
00:15:40,589 --> 00:15:41,847
Torpedo!
384
00:15:41,924 --> 00:15:42,932
You're damn right, baby!
385
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,317
Talking about a Mac attack!
386
00:15:44,394 --> 00:15:46,185
Uh, Bernie,
that looks too violent.
387
00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:47,895
He's going to get
hurt like that.
388
00:15:47,972 --> 00:15:50,356
-Oh, Wanda, please.
-You sound irritated.
389
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:53,317
No, I'm not, baby.
He's going to be all right.
390
00:15:53,394 --> 00:15:56,195
He's got shoulder pads,
got a helmet on, knee pads.
391
00:15:56,272 --> 00:15:57,989
Man, would you tell her?
392
00:15:58,065 --> 00:15:59,207
Please?
393
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,540
Down!
394
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:09,300
Set! Hut!
395
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,389
(crowd cheering)
396
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:19,227
(groaning)
397
00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:24,849
All right, baby,
we'll pull him.
398
00:16:24,925 --> 00:16:27,351
Did I hear you correctly,
Mr. Mac?
399
00:16:27,428 --> 00:16:29,437
You're pulling the Torpedo?
400
00:16:29,513 --> 00:16:30,863
Look, Father, I have to, man.
401
00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:32,064
Jordan is getting banged up
out there.
402
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:33,357
I've got to pull him,
403
00:16:33,434 --> 00:16:35,276
at least for the rest
of the game--I have to.
404
00:16:35,352 --> 00:16:38,362
Mr. Mac,
sacrifice is a virtue.
405
00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:42,366
If you recall, Abraham was ready
to snuff his own son.
406
00:16:42,443 --> 00:16:44,285
This boy's just your nephew.
407
00:16:44,361 --> 00:16:46,045
Oh...
408
00:16:46,122 --> 00:16:49,173
Look... stay right here.
409
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:53,494
Pull him.
410
00:16:53,571 --> 00:16:54,879
What are you talking
about? He's fine.
411
00:16:54,955 --> 00:16:56,589
-Coach, pull him.
-We need him now.
412
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:59,383
Pull him.
413
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,718
Jordan...
414
00:17:00,795 --> 00:17:01,853
come on out.
415
00:17:01,929 --> 00:17:05,148
They're pulling me!
They're pulling me!
416
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,017
Y-You're pulling him?
417
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:09,810
Be strong, son.
418
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:11,395
Well, you're a trip.
419
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:16,650
ALL (chanting):
Torpedo! Torpedo! Torpedo...
420
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:20,154
Mr. Mac, I understand your
reasons for pulling the boy,
421
00:17:20,231 --> 00:17:22,031
but if we hold them here,
422
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:26,160
Damien Elementary goes
to the championship.
423
00:17:26,237 --> 00:17:27,586
Father, I know
what you're saying,
424
00:17:27,664 --> 00:17:31,248
but I can't afford Jordan
to get hurt. I can't.
425
00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:32,666
My hands are tied.
426
00:17:32,743 --> 00:17:36,962
Mr. Mac, Pontius Pilate
suffered a similar dilemma.
427
00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:41,467
When the mob cried out,
"Crucify him! Crucify him,"
428
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,844
had he not given the
people what they wanted,
429
00:17:43,921 --> 00:17:46,472
we wouldn't have
a flippin' religion.
430
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,391
Take his example,
Mr. Mac.
431
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,187
Give the people
what they want.
432
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,406
What's it going
to be, Mr. Mac?
433
00:17:57,017 --> 00:17:58,651
I don't know, Father.
434
00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:01,362
I can't believe
you're even considering this.
435
00:18:01,438 --> 00:18:03,531
What about the boy's health?
436
00:18:03,607 --> 00:18:05,783
But it's the
championship game.
437
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,701
It is elementary school.
438
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,587
This is Damien.
439
00:18:13,868 --> 00:18:16,377
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
440
00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:18,170
I mean, I want them
to win the game,
441
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:20,890
but it would kill me
if the boy got hurt.
442
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:25,302
But it's not about me.
443
00:18:25,379 --> 00:18:27,847
CROWD (chanting):
Torpedo! Torpedo...
444
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:29,390
Put him in.
445
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:32,601
Launch the torpedo!
446
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,687
All right, all right,
Jordan, come on in. Come on.
447
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:37,022
Come on, come on.
Out, John, out, out, out.
448
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:39,191
All right, all right, guys,
listen.
449
00:18:39,268 --> 00:18:41,485
They get this extra point,
they tie the score,
450
00:18:41,562 --> 00:18:43,195
and force us into overtime.
451
00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:45,248
Our only hope
is to block the kick.
452
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:48,376
Torpedo,
I'm counting on you.
453
00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:50,169
-Ready!
-BOYS:
Break!
454
00:18:50,246 --> 00:18:53,455
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
455
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:54,382
Down!
456
00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:57,385
Set!
Hut!
457
00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:07,011
(crowd gasping)
458
00:19:07,087 --> 00:19:09,972
Oh, my Lord.
459
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,524
Come on, baby. Baby, I got him.
460
00:19:11,601 --> 00:19:13,401
Get-get back.
I'll go get him.
461
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,594
(groaning)
462
00:19:15,672 --> 00:19:18,480
Jordan, son, son,
you all right?
463
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,108
(groaning)
My pebbles... oh...
464
00:19:21,185 --> 00:19:22,026
Your pebbles?
465
00:19:22,102 --> 00:19:24,028
Ooh! Aah!
466
00:19:24,104 --> 00:19:26,488
Nut shot, right pocket.
467
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:27,990
Even though
it didn't happen to me,
468
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,383
I can still feel it.
469
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,077
Guys, you know
what I'm talking about.
470
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:33,537
Just thinking about it
make you cringe. Ooh.
471
00:19:33,614 --> 00:19:35,748
And, women,
don't give me that...
472
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:38,584
"You don't know what pain is.
We give birth."
473
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:40,502
Huh! You go get hit
in your pebbles,
474
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:43,255
and you come back
and talk to Bernie Mac.
475
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:44,381
(groans)
476
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,058
I got to go walk it off.
477
00:19:46,135 --> 00:19:47,927
Excuse me.
478
00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:49,979
(groaning quietly)
479
00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:53,557
Come on, son.
Get up here,
Get up here.
480
00:19:53,634 --> 00:19:55,768
-(groaning)
-Come on.
481
00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:56,977
JORDAN:
Ow!
482
00:19:57,054 --> 00:19:59,655
MAN:
Torpedo! Torpedo!
483
00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:07,112
Hey, man...
whatcha watching?
484
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:08,497
Scooby-Doo.
485
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:11,533
Yeah? Look at old
Scrappy-Doo out there.
486
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,294
I like that little dog.
487
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,748
Jordan, let me just
cut this off one minute,
488
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,634
all right?
489
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,337
Son...
490
00:20:23,414 --> 00:20:25,056
I got some bad news to tell you.
491
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:29,218
Damien lost the
championship game today.
492
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,136
Don't feel bad, son.
493
00:20:31,213 --> 00:20:33,264
They would've won
if you were there.
494
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,140
So you ought
to feel honored.
495
00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:36,684
That's how important
496
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,477
the Torpedo is
to the team.
497
00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:40,646
Now I'm never going
to get my trophy.
498
00:20:40,723 --> 00:20:42,356
Yes, you are.
499
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:45,484
What? That stupid team trophy?
500
00:20:45,561 --> 00:20:47,602
It doesn't even count,
you said.
501
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:51,282
You said it doesn't even sound
worthy of the Mac Hall of Fame.
502
00:20:51,358 --> 00:20:52,825
Don't pay no attention
to what I be saying.
503
00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:54,501
You know I'm not well.
504
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,912
I say stupid things all
the time that hurt people.
505
00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,666
And besides, it's not
even about a team trophy.
506
00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:03,386
It's a special award
from your teammates.
507
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,096
Jordan...
508
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:08,849
congratulations.
509
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,953
I'm really proud of you.
510
00:21:13,030 --> 00:21:14,213
("Super Bad" By James
Brown plays)
511
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:17,516
♪ Watch me watch me ♪
512
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,393
♪ I got it ♪
513
00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:22,438
♪ Watch me I got it ♪
514
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:24,064
♪ Hey ♪
515
00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:27,818
♪ I got somethin' thatmakes me wanna shout ♪
516
00:21:27,895 --> 00:21:32,531
♪ I got somethin' that tellsme what it's all about ♪
517
00:21:32,608 --> 00:21:35,534
♪ I got soul andI'm super bad ♪
518
00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:37,420
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
519
00:21:40,824 --> 00:21:42,291
You know your line?
520
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:45,002
No, I thought it was yours.
521
00:21:45,079 --> 00:21:47,629
-Yeah...
-Damn!
522
00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:49,673
I thought he was going
to mention the trophy.
523
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,300
Damn it. I messed
the line up.
524
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:54,520
Did I step on the line
when I first came out, too?
525
00:21:55,255 --> 00:21:57,639
Damn.
526
00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:59,350
That's nice.
527
00:21:59,426 --> 00:22:01,477
Hey, that's real nice.
528
00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:03,070
Somebody ought
to bust your head, man.
529
00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:04,980
(laughing)
530
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,398
Damn.
531
00:22:06,475 --> 00:22:08,075
How long do you want me
to stay there on that...
36879
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