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1
00:00:16,467 --> 00:00:19,018
(everyone arguing and yelling)
2
00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:28,235
Sanctuary.
3
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,359
How y'all doin'?
4
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:39,738
You know, look,
I'm supposed to be a comedian,
5
00:00:39,815 --> 00:00:41,364
and I'm living in tragedy.
6
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:44,076
See, I'm taking care
of my sister's kids,
7
00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:45,869
you know,
until she get out of rehab.
8
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,370
You know, they're my guests,
9
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:48,705
but they act
like they live here.
10
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:51,249
You know, guests are supposed
to be polite.
11
00:00:51,326 --> 00:00:53,043
Guests don't want
to be a bother.
12
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,878
I know what I'm talking about,
13
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,379
'cause, see,
I'm the perfect guest.
14
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,557
You think about it, America.
15
00:00:58,634 --> 00:01:01,468
Every week,
you invite me into your home.
16
00:01:01,545 --> 00:01:04,021
By the way,
I want to say thank you.
17
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,348
I tell a few jokes,
and I'm out!
18
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,318
Total time:
21 minutes, tops!
19
00:01:09,394 --> 00:01:13,021
But see, the point is,
I don't overstay my welcome.
20
00:01:13,098 --> 00:01:15,565
See, we got a saying
in show business:
21
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,527
"You always leave them
wanting more."
22
00:01:18,603 --> 00:01:21,196
Now, those kids...
23
00:01:21,273 --> 00:01:23,582
they don't leave me
wanting more.
24
00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:43,969
Somebody been using
my toothbrush.
25
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:47,722
Oh, that was Bryana.
26
00:01:47,799 --> 00:01:49,099
Bryana has a toothbrush.
27
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,225
It got Barney all on it.
28
00:01:50,302 --> 00:01:52,435
Yes, well, she saw
29
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,238
her Aunt Wanda
brushing her teeth
30
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:57,482
with the big people's
toothbrush, so...
31
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,067
What did you do?
32
00:01:59,144 --> 00:02:02,737
I brushed my teeth
with a big people brush,
33
00:02:02,814 --> 00:02:04,581
and now
I have big teeth.
34
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,116
See?
35
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,669
She was so cute,
I couldn't stop her.
36
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,622
Well, she wasn't
going to use mine.
37
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,250
Let it soak.
38
00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:17,377
They think this
some kind of hotel,
39
00:02:17,454 --> 00:02:19,796
and everything in it
is complimentary.
40
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,265
Need soap? Try Bernie's.
41
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:22,966
It's complimentary.
42
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,260
And why not use
Bernie's dental floss?
43
00:02:25,337 --> 00:02:27,271
It's provided
for your convenience.
44
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,722
And, last but not least,
45
00:02:28,798 --> 00:02:31,057
please feel free
to use Bernie's toilet,
46
00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:34,644
because it's sanitized
for your protection.
47
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,812
Thanks,
Uncle Bernie.
48
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:36,905
What?
49
00:02:38,475 --> 00:02:40,984
No, boy, don't flush it!
50
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,703
(screaming)
51
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,748
(whimpering)
52
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,428
You seen my
Sports Action magazine?
53
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:03,289
You seen my
Sports Action magazine
54
00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:04,341
with the football player
preview on the cover?
55
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:05,800
My door was shut.
56
00:03:05,877 --> 00:03:07,352
-Have you seen it?
-No.
57
00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:14,309
I see you settling
right on in.
58
00:03:14,386 --> 00:03:16,311
You making yourself
right at home,
huh, Nessa?
59
00:03:16,388 --> 00:03:18,438
You got your
pictures up.
Look at that.
60
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:19,731
Posters of
Kobe Bryant.
61
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,149
You like
Kobe Bryant?
62
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,109
-He's all right.
-He's all right?
63
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:25,028
Shoot, he more
than all right
64
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,947
with those
Jordan-like moves!
65
00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:28,240
Pair of legs... Oh!
66
00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:29,741
He lay the ball up!
67
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,201
Boy, look at that!
Bam!
68
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,628
I knew it.
69
00:03:32,704 --> 00:03:33,929
That's what you get
70
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,039
when you try to
fake out Bernie Mac.
71
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,290
You get schooled!
72
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:38,675
Tell me I didn't see it.
73
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,128
Look at this.
74
00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:44,965
This was a collector's edition.
75
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,633
But does she care?
76
00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,134
Hell, no!
77
00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:50,303
I don't get no,
"May I, please?"
78
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:51,662
Or "Can I borrow it?"
79
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,473
Everything complimentary.
80
00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:55,308
Theirs for the taking.
81
00:03:55,385 --> 00:03:58,311
This doesn't belong to her.
Who does it belong to?
82
00:03:58,388 --> 00:04:00,313
Me. Bernie Mac.
83
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:01,848
This is Hotel Bernie
84
00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:04,526
where kids check in,
but they don't check out.
85
00:04:04,602 --> 00:04:06,403
Now, you hold on, America.
86
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,905
I wouldn't say kids
were like cockroaches.
87
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,240
I wouldn't do that.
88
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,075
But I'll just compare
the two species,
89
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,844
and you make the call.
90
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,998
First of all,both pests get into your food.
91
00:04:18,074 --> 00:04:20,041
Who touched my Famous Amos?!
92
00:04:20,118 --> 00:04:23,920
Both pests getunder your feet.
93
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:24,921
(screams)
94
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,756
Damn it!
95
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:31,428
(screaming)
96
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:34,481
Both scatterwhen you turn the lights on.
97
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,985
Yeah, I got you
with the goods!
98
00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:39,561
Yeah, yeah,
I got you!
99
00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:42,063
Stop touching
my Famous Amos!
100
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:46,151
Yes, see, what we have here
is infestation of kids.
101
00:04:46,227 --> 00:04:48,445
They're small,
but if not careful,
102
00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:51,781
those kids could spread
all over the house.
103
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,049
But, see, I'm lucky.
104
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,453
Early detection
is the key to containment.
105
00:04:56,529 --> 00:05:00,540
Now, see, all I have to do now
is just draw the line.
106
00:05:00,617 --> 00:05:01,824
Okay we're done with that.
107
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,418
Now we're moving on
to Marshmallow Puff.
108
00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:05,378
Now, you see this, kids?
109
00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:06,805
Look. I'm going to draw
a new line.
110
00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:09,132
See that? Look at that line
right there.
111
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,684
Now, let me explain
something to you.
112
00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:13,228
Y'all can eat all
the Marshmallow Puff you want,
113
00:05:13,305 --> 00:05:16,023
down to this line
but you get down
to this line--
114
00:05:16,099 --> 00:05:17,716
Bernie's Puff.
No more Puff.
115
00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:19,601
That's enough Puff.
You done had enough Puff.
116
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,478
You can eat
all the Puff you want.
117
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:23,112
After that, Bernie's Puff.
118
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,148
Now peanut butter,
that's a little different.
119
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,150
Look at all the peanut butter
you got.
120
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,693
I don't care
about peanut butter that much.
121
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:30,028
When you get down
to that line right there,
122
00:05:30,105 --> 00:05:32,238
it's Bernie's butter.
123
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:35,325
This is yours.
Below line--Bernie's butter.
124
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:36,384
Now, let me explain this
to you.
125
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,702
This is kind of tricky.
126
00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:38,912
Root beer--little different.
127
00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:41,456
Bernie drinks
all the root beer he wants to
128
00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:42,841
till he gets to this line.
129
00:05:42,918 --> 00:05:44,567
Below that line,
130
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,336
I don't care no more
because it loses its fizz,
131
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,254
and I really don't want it,
so I don't care.
132
00:05:48,331 --> 00:05:49,756
You all can drink
all you want.
133
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,799
Bernie, what
are you doing?
134
00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:52,358
I'm teaching the kids
a new system.
135
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,853
Hey, above the line--kids.
Below the line--off limits.
136
00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:57,222
-Bernie?
-Yes?
137
00:05:57,298 --> 00:05:59,474
-Can I talk to you?
-Sure.
138
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:00,734
Remember: above
the line--kids.
139
00:06:00,811 --> 00:06:02,736
Below the line--
off limits. Say it.
140
00:06:02,813 --> 00:06:04,104
I can't believe you!
141
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,614
What?
142
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:07,607
Those kids are not
your roommates.
143
00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:10,485
I know that.
Roommates pay rent.
144
00:06:10,562 --> 00:06:13,321
All right.
Is this the way
you want to play?
145
00:06:13,398 --> 00:06:15,782
Like a child?
Fine, let's play.
146
00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:18,335
Until you start
treating those kids
147
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,495
like they're
welcome here...
148
00:06:20,572 --> 00:06:25,291
below this line--
off limits.
149
00:06:25,368 --> 00:06:27,210
But that's Bernie Mac's Puff!
150
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,379
Taking away
what's below the belt,
151
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,381
now that's below the belt.
152
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:34,551
It's extortion, I tell you,
and I'm not having it.
153
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:37,011
You can't blackmail
this black male.
154
00:06:37,088 --> 00:06:38,304
Bernie Mac's strong.
155
00:06:38,381 --> 00:06:40,348
I can hold out.
156
00:06:40,425 --> 00:06:42,350
You watch.
157
00:06:42,427 --> 00:06:44,352
(imitating Wanda)
"Below this line..."
158
00:06:44,429 --> 00:06:45,779
Yeah, okay.
159
00:06:51,603 --> 00:06:53,453
Walk with me, Lord.
160
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,575
I've been doing a lot
of thinking, America,
161
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,535
and I've come to a revelation:
162
00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:03,371
Those kids aren't
my houseguests.
163
00:07:03,448 --> 00:07:05,039
They're my family,
164
00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:08,385
and I think family should
be treated like family.
165
00:07:13,374 --> 00:07:14,966
(clears throat)
166
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:18,219
I saw the error of my ways.
167
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,430
I'm okay.
168
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,891
You don't have to take
this walk with me.
169
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:27,779
I've got faith.
170
00:07:27,856 --> 00:07:29,606
I told you,
I can do it, baby.
171
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:30,999
WANDA:
You did good, baby.
172
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,734
(smooches)
I've got something for you.
173
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:34,277
You don't have
to get the whole store.
174
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,237
Each of you
get one snack. One.
175
00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:40,200
Therefore, everybody
have a snack...
176
00:07:40,276 --> 00:07:41,951
Snack, snack, snack, snack...
177
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,119
What's wrong with y'all?
178
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,913
You put this back.
179
00:07:44,989 --> 00:07:46,247
Put that back.
180
00:07:46,324 --> 00:07:48,166
Hold, hold, hold, hold.
Mascara--
181
00:07:48,243 --> 00:07:50,418
back.
182
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,295
B, this is not a snack.
183
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,671
I'm going to put
juice in it.
184
00:07:53,748 --> 00:07:54,889
You're not going to
put nothing in it.
185
00:07:54,966 --> 00:07:57,926
You're going
to put it back.
186
00:07:58,002 --> 00:07:59,186
A telescope?
187
00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:00,637
Son, you got to be crazy.
188
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,530
-Put it back.
-But I need it!
189
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,266
You need it, son?
I didn't appreciate the
totality of your argument.
190
00:08:05,343 --> 00:08:06,534
I said put it back.
191
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,311
But I want to see stars!
192
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,146
You going to see stars.
Put it back.
193
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,464
(groans)
194
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:15,860
I don't know what's wrong
with you kids.
195
00:08:15,937 --> 00:08:18,655
Listen, we're not here
to get toys or telescopes.
196
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,949
We're here to get snacks
and snacks only.
197
00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:22,784
You understand that?
198
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:23,627
Jeez!
199
00:08:24,788 --> 00:08:26,078
I just want to be able
to take you kids
200
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,247
to the store
without the risk
201
00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:28,957
of having a coronary
infarction.
202
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:30,449
Is that asking too much?
203
00:08:30,527 --> 00:08:33,136
See, your problem is, you
all don't know the value...
204
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,170
Hi, baby.
205
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,296
...of a dollar.
206
00:08:35,373 --> 00:08:36,839
That's okay.
207
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,008
Uncle Bernie's
going to teach you.
208
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,552
So, therefore,
I've decided
209
00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:42,428
to give you all
an allowance.
210
00:08:42,505 --> 00:08:45,014
Yay! We get money!
211
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:48,860
No, baby, you don't "get" money;
you earn money by doing chores.
212
00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:52,355
And at the end of the week,
you all receive $5.
213
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,157
You can buy whatever
you want to buy.
214
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:57,452
You don't have to ask me
or Auntie Wanda for any money.
215
00:08:57,529 --> 00:08:59,621
-Okay.
-Now, come on,
we got pizza.
216
00:08:59,698 --> 00:09:01,456
Thanks, sweetheart.
217
00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:03,157
Pepperoni, yeah!
218
00:09:03,234 --> 00:09:06,703
Look here, you all
going to love this.
219
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:09,163
I have invented a chore wheel.
220
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,249
Look. See that?
221
00:09:11,326 --> 00:09:12,508
See, B?
222
00:09:15,913 --> 00:09:17,797
It says I got to
do the dishes.
223
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:20,300
That's right,
and you got to empty the trash.
224
00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:22,077
I'm allergic to dust.
225
00:09:22,153 --> 00:09:24,178
Okay, well, you take
the garbage can to the curb.
226
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,388
Okay.
227
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,431
Uncle Bernie.
228
00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:27,515
Yes, baby?
229
00:09:27,592 --> 00:09:28,716
What can I do?
230
00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:30,402
You make the bed
every morning.
231
00:09:30,478 --> 00:09:32,362
Now, listen up.
This is very important.
232
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,022
And you promise
to give me
233
00:09:34,098 --> 00:09:36,149
one of those pretty smiles
every day.
234
00:09:36,225 --> 00:09:37,400
Can you do that for me?
235
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,535
I can do it.
236
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,028
Ah, now, hold on.
237
00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:42,739
You got to save some
for tomorrow, okay?
238
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:45,658
Now give your dish to Vanessa
so she can wash it.
239
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:46,993
Come on. Come on now.
240
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:48,310
(groaning)
241
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,589
It's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
242
00:09:50,665 --> 00:09:53,166
It's going to be all right.
243
00:09:53,242 --> 00:09:56,502
We got a system.
(chuckling)
244
00:09:56,579 --> 00:09:59,714
♪♪
245
00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,308
♪ Hard work ♪
246
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,020
♪ Hard work ♪
247
00:10:07,131 --> 00:10:08,648
♪ Hard work ♪
248
00:10:10,802 --> 00:10:12,277
♪ Hard work ♪
249
00:10:21,729 --> 00:10:23,246
♪ Hard work ♪
250
00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:26,916
♪ Hard work ♪
251
00:10:29,153 --> 00:10:30,420
♪ Hard work ♪
252
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,047
Ugh!
253
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,374
♪ Hard work ♪
254
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:36,042
Good job, baby.
255
00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:37,444
$20 for you.
256
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,379
One, two, three,
four, five, for you.
257
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:41,756
$5 for you.
258
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:44,258
What's wrong
with you?
259
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,968
Oh...
Give me that.
260
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,020
Here.
261
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:53,726
WANDA:
Bernie! Bernie, get up!
262
00:10:53,803 --> 00:10:56,062
Get up. Hmm?
The garbage
truck is here.
263
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:57,063
-So?
-So?
264
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:58,564
So, no one
took the cans out!
265
00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:00,108
What?!
266
00:11:00,184 --> 00:11:02,118
Oh, doggone it!
267
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,034
Jordan! Jordan!
268
00:11:10,111 --> 00:11:12,370
Why didn't you take
the garbage out?
269
00:11:12,447 --> 00:11:13,871
I don't know.
270
00:11:13,948 --> 00:11:15,456
What do you mean,
you don't know?
271
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:17,417
That's how you get
your allowance, son!
272
00:11:17,493 --> 00:11:18,710
Don't you want
your allowance?
273
00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:19,836
I want mine.
274
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:21,379
BERNIE:
Look at this room!
275
00:11:21,456 --> 00:11:23,673
Like a pigsty in here.
276
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,975
What's that smell?
277
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,896
What's this?
278
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:34,475
Mmm! Booty.
279
00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:37,729
Let me see what else you all
ain't done around here.
280
00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:39,372
Where's that chore wheel?
281
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,232
That got thrown out
while we were cleaning.
282
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:44,444
-You threw it out?
-Yeah. We did all the stuff
on the chore wheel.
283
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,953
But you only did it once.
284
00:11:46,031 --> 00:11:47,780
You all supposed
to do this every day.
285
00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:49,482
Well, you should have told us.
286
00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,577
It's hard for me to tell
y'all anything right now.
287
00:11:52,653 --> 00:11:55,997
I'm getting weak up in
here from the smell.
288
00:11:56,073 --> 00:11:57,181
Y'all get up and
start cleaning
289
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,750
this room up
right now. Come on.
290
00:11:58,826 --> 00:12:00,251
Don't make
no doggone sense.
291
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:01,335
Get up! Clean it up!
292
00:12:01,412 --> 00:12:03,304
-Here.
-No, no, no, no.
293
00:12:03,381 --> 00:12:04,931
What you mean,
"No, no"?
294
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:09,552
No, you didn't.
295
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,220
Uh-uh-uh.
296
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,064
You sit right there, uh.
297
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:17,819
Jordan, where did you
get this from?
298
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,564
I'm going to ask you
one more time:
299
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,191
Where did you get this from?
300
00:12:23,267 --> 00:12:24,458
From you!
301
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:25,693
I didn't give you
no money to buy this.
302
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,361
-Yes, you did.
-When?!
303
00:12:27,438 --> 00:12:29,864
Did you say you wanted Proventil
or the generic inhaler?
304
00:12:29,941 --> 00:12:31,132
What's the difference?
305
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,367
Well, the generic is only $8.
306
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,462
Generic.
307
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,290
I can't believe you,
Jordan.
308
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,375
You little sneak!
309
00:12:41,452 --> 00:12:44,721
-Jordan, did you really?
-Uh-oh!
310
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,549
This funny?
311
00:12:48,626 --> 00:12:49,875
You're in big troubles,
young man.
312
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,844
I mean, big trouble.
313
00:12:51,921 --> 00:12:54,222
-You can't punish him.
-You watch and see
if I don't.
314
00:12:54,298 --> 00:12:56,516
You just mad
'cause he played you.
315
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:57,967
Let me tell you something
right now.
316
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,561
The boy didn't "play" me;
he stole from me.
317
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,405
Let's call it
the way it is .
318
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,098
The boy stole.
319
00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:07,276
You sit right there until I
figure out how to punish you.
320
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:10,497
You all get out. Out!
321
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,126
I'm disappointed
in you, Jordan.
322
00:13:18,823 --> 00:13:19,931
Look here, America.
323
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,791
You think I want
to punish the boy?
324
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,968
I don't want to punish the boy,
but I have to.
325
00:13:24,045 --> 00:13:26,587
That child got to learn right
from wrong.
326
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:27,922
I'm going to be
honest with you.
327
00:13:27,999 --> 00:13:30,091
It's going to hurt me
a lot more
328
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,926
than it's going to hurt him.
329
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,929
All right, that's bull.
But you know what?
330
00:13:35,006 --> 00:13:36,848
The punishment ball
is rolling.
331
00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:38,691
My hands are tied.
332
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,103
I don't know, Bernie.
333
00:13:42,179 --> 00:13:44,063
No TV for a month?
334
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:46,107
Aren't you coming down
a little hard on him?
335
00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:47,617
The boy stole
from me, baby.
336
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:48,952
What you propose I do?
337
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,444
I don't know.
338
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,613
How would your father
have punished you?
339
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,031
My father?
340
00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:56,826
He'd probably use a non-
confrontational approach.
341
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:59,161
Babe, I know
it ain't working here.
342
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,938
Why not?
343
00:14:01,016 --> 00:14:02,540
Because I'm not
walking out on you
and them kids.
344
00:14:02,617 --> 00:14:04,375
What's done is done.
345
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:05,751
I made
my decision.
346
00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:07,303
(sighs)
347
00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,304
That's right, let it
get good and cold,
348
00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:19,515
'cause you're gonna
finish every bite.
349
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,175
You could have
at least
350
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:22,935
given Jordan dessert before
you sent him to his room.
351
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,370
The boy should have bought
some cookies
352
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,479
when he went on
that spending spree.
353
00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:27,982
He did.
354
00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:28,858
What did you say?
355
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:30,242
Nothing, warden.
356
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,319
You can go in the room
and join him.
357
00:14:31,395 --> 00:14:33,070
Better than listening to you.
358
00:14:33,147 --> 00:14:34,822
Don't walk away
from me, Nessa.
359
00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:36,124
Nessa!
360
00:14:38,235 --> 00:14:40,420
Fine! You just keep
right on walking.
361
00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:43,080
You go right up in there
with your brother
362
00:14:43,157 --> 00:14:45,341
and stay
with him, Nessa.
363
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,462
I'm about sick of this.
I'm glad this happened.
364
00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:51,047
Time for me and you
to get it on.
365
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:52,131
What... where's Jordan?!
366
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,966
Baby girl,
find your brother
367
00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:55,968
and tell him I say get
his skinny butt down here
368
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,470
right now.
369
00:14:57,546 --> 00:14:59,096
And now back to you.
370
00:14:59,173 --> 00:15:00,348
I hate it here!
371
00:15:00,424 --> 00:15:01,933
You ain't got to stay here,
Nessa.
372
00:15:02,009 --> 00:15:03,359
Ain't nobody keeping you.
373
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,353
You can leave. Matter of fact,
I'll help you.
374
00:15:05,429 --> 00:15:07,021
You know?! Where
you want to go?
375
00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:08,940
Monte Carlo?
Saint Tropez?
376
00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:10,424
You better pack
real heavy,
377
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:12,610
'cause I heard it get
real chilly down there.
378
00:15:12,687 --> 00:15:13,819
I don't understand
you kids.
379
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:15,062
I gave y'all everything.
380
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:16,906
That ain't enough.
Y'all want it all.
381
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:19,742
-Uncle Bernie?
-What?!
382
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,036
I can't find Jordan.
383
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,713
I looked everywhere.
384
00:15:33,958 --> 00:15:35,892
Baby...
385
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,302
I looked in the cellar.
He's not there.
386
00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:40,188
Bernie, look.
He left his medicine.
387
00:15:40,264 --> 00:15:44,183
Uncle Bernie,
is Jordan gone?
388
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,143
No, he's around, baby.
He's around.
389
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,403
We'll go look for him.
390
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,721
He's only been gone
ten minutes.
391
00:15:48,797 --> 00:15:51,240
He can't be gone that far.
He...
392
00:15:53,102 --> 00:15:54,485
Come on, come on.
393
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,570
Is this my fault?
394
00:15:56,647 --> 00:15:59,615
Was I too hard on him?
395
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,050
Oh, Lord.
396
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,703
What was I thinking,
punishing the boy like that?
397
00:16:03,779 --> 00:16:05,421
He can't live without TV.
398
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,248
He's just a boy,
just a child.
399
00:16:07,324 --> 00:16:08,574
Why didn't you
stop me, America?
400
00:16:08,651 --> 00:16:11,419
You know I don't know
what I'm doing.
401
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,786
I'm new at this.
402
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,355
Don't worry about it, babe.
403
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,715
We're gonna find him.
We're gonna find him.
404
00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:17,675
I bet you that take all night.
405
00:16:17,752 --> 00:16:19,927
Don't worry, baby,
we're gonna find him.
406
00:16:20,004 --> 00:16:21,229
Nessa, I need you
to think
407
00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:22,622
of where your brother
could be.
408
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:24,640
-I don't know.
-Think, Nessa! Doggone, think!
409
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,475
Hey, I'm not the one
who made him leave.
410
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,227
He the one stole!
I didn't make him leave nowhere!
411
00:16:28,304 --> 00:16:31,147
Stop it, you two.
This isn't helping.
412
00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:32,898
Right, Nessa.
This ain't helping.
413
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:34,367
Sorry, guardian.
414
00:16:34,444 --> 00:16:36,694
She called me a guardian.
415
00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:38,946
I deserve it.
416
00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:40,948
The girl's right.
417
00:16:41,025 --> 00:16:43,284
But I know one thing...
418
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,660
I'll tell you later.
419
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,454
I gotta go find that boy.
420
00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:47,955
♪♪
421
00:16:48,032 --> 00:16:50,133
♪ Hush now child ♪
422
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:52,885
♪ And don't you cry ♪
423
00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:57,432
♪ Your folks mightunderstand you ♪
424
00:16:58,176 --> 00:16:59,642
♪ By and by ♪
425
00:17:01,003 --> 00:17:02,645
♪ Just move on up ♪
426
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:06,607
♪ Toward your destination ♪
427
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,435
♪ Though you may find ♪
428
00:17:09,512 --> 00:17:11,729
♪ From time to time ♪
429
00:17:11,806 --> 00:17:13,322
♪ Complication ♪
430
00:17:14,225 --> 00:17:17,368
♪♪
431
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,173
♪ Bite your lip ♪
432
00:17:31,826 --> 00:17:33,534
♪ And take a trip ♪
433
00:17:35,412 --> 00:17:38,506
♪ Though there may bewet road ahead ♪
434
00:17:38,582 --> 00:17:40,049
♪ And you cannot slip ♪
435
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:42,176
(no audio)
436
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,686
♪ Just move on up ♪
437
00:17:45,714 --> 00:17:47,607
♪ For pease you'll find ♪
438
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:52,653
♪ Into the steeple ofbeautiful people... ♪
439
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,526
I never, never meant
for none of this to happen.
440
00:17:58,602 --> 00:18:01,237
-You know that, baby.
You know that.
-I know.
441
00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:04,207
I love all of you kids.
442
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,616
I mean, every last one.
443
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,868
If anything happened
to one of y'all, I'll die.
444
00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:08,828
There's something
on the roof.
445
00:18:08,904 --> 00:18:11,130
What?
446
00:18:11,207 --> 00:18:12,665
Baby, that's Jordan!
He's on the roof!
447
00:18:12,741 --> 00:18:14,708
Jordan!
448
00:18:14,785 --> 00:18:16,001
What's he holding?
449
00:18:16,078 --> 00:18:17,795
Sweet Lord.
450
00:18:17,872 --> 00:18:20,881
Jordan! I know Uncle Bernie
been hard on you, son,
451
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:23,050
but please, don't take it out
on the neighborhood!
452
00:18:23,127 --> 00:18:24,260
Baby, that boy got a rifle.
453
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,645
It's a telescope.
454
00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:26,896
What?
455
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:35,104
Jordan... Jordan.
456
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,897
Son.
457
00:18:36,974 --> 00:18:38,357
What you doing
up here?
458
00:18:38,434 --> 00:18:41,235
You got us worried
sick about you.
459
00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:42,153
I wanted to see it.
460
00:18:42,229 --> 00:18:44,697
I can't.
461
00:18:44,773 --> 00:18:46,198
I can't see it.
462
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:48,367
You can't see what?
463
00:18:48,444 --> 00:18:50,327
The Sears Tower.
464
00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:52,997
Sears Tower?
465
00:18:53,073 --> 00:18:54,707
That's in Chicago.
466
00:18:54,783 --> 00:18:56,417
I know.
467
00:18:56,493 --> 00:18:58,845
I wanted to see home.
468
00:19:00,164 --> 00:19:01,722
Home?
469
00:19:05,336 --> 00:19:07,261
Oh, Jordan.
470
00:19:07,338 --> 00:19:11,098
You wanted to see
your real home.
471
00:19:11,175 --> 00:19:13,601
You miss your mom.
472
00:19:13,677 --> 00:19:15,436
(voice cracking)
How about that?
473
00:19:15,512 --> 00:19:19,523
All this time I'm thinking
how spoiled those kids are,
474
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,567
taking whatever they want...
475
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:23,402
never realizing that what
they really want
476
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:25,696
is to be back
in the projects.
477
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:30,075
Isn't that the most...
stupid thing you ever heard?
478
00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:33,704
Oh, those beautiful,
stupid kids.
479
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,122
I love 'em.
480
00:19:35,199 --> 00:19:37,291
You know, Jordan...
481
00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:41,378
I know sometime...
482
00:19:41,455 --> 00:19:42,955
you miss your mom,
483
00:19:43,032 --> 00:19:45,090
but your mom needs you
to be here right now.
484
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,592
(sobs)
485
00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:48,761
And I know sometimes, man,
486
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:51,981
I make you feel like
you're in the way.
487
00:19:54,176 --> 00:19:55,818
And that's wrong, Jordan.
488
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:01,148
As long as you're here,
489
00:20:01,225 --> 00:20:04,026
I want you to feel
like you're at home.
490
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:08,456
'Cause, see, we family.
491
00:20:08,532 --> 00:20:11,450
And family need to be at home.
492
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:13,002
Do you understand?
493
00:20:14,405 --> 00:20:17,673
Come on, son.
494
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,042
Let's go inside.
495
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,053
Can I watch TV?
496
00:20:25,582 --> 00:20:26,907
Yeah, you can watch TV.
497
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,018
Why wouldn't you be able
to watch TV?
498
00:20:41,265 --> 00:20:43,399
Y'all thought he had me,
didn't you?
499
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,109
(chuckles)
500
00:20:45,185 --> 00:20:47,495
You'll never know.
501
00:20:48,939 --> 00:20:50,081
Be careful.
502
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,035
Doggie, doggie, doggie.Doggie, doggie, doggie.
503
00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:56,036
Ow.
504
00:20:56,113 --> 00:20:57,746
What's wrong?
505
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,456
It's cold.
506
00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:01,000
It's ice cream.
507
00:21:01,076 --> 00:21:02,969
(no audio)
508
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,265
Duh.
509
00:21:10,594 --> 00:21:12,928
Well, there you have it,
America.
510
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,055
I don't know what to say.
511
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,769
Oh, baby.
512
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,354
What's that for?
513
00:21:22,431 --> 00:21:24,898
For finding my brother.
514
00:21:24,975 --> 00:21:26,275
Oh, Nessa, come here.
515
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,994
I gotta go.
516
00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:34,867
I ain't gonna never understand
that child.
517
00:21:34,943 --> 00:21:36,085
Never.
518
00:21:39,156 --> 00:21:40,331
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
519
00:21:40,407 --> 00:21:43,250
No, boy, don't flush it.
No! No!
520
00:21:43,327 --> 00:21:44,719
(screams)
521
00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:50,766
JORDAN: (laughing)
522
00:21:57,341 --> 00:22:00,392
No, boy, don't flush it.
523
00:22:00,469 --> 00:22:02,811
No! No!
No!
524
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,396
(screams)
525
00:22:04,473 --> 00:22:07,033
(moaning and muttering)
526
00:22:07,109 --> 00:22:08,617
(whimpers)
35821
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