Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:19,035 --> 00:00:21,595
(coughs)
2
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,430
Yeah, I'm sick.
3
00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:25,607
I'm sick as a dog.
4
00:00:25,684 --> 00:00:28,018
I can't even taste my cigar.
5
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,611
You know what?
6
00:00:29,688 --> 00:00:32,814
I didn't even see it coming.
How could I?
7
00:00:32,891 --> 00:00:34,691
Man, I ain't
been sick in years.
8
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,819
The last time I was sick,
the Ohio Players had a hit...
9
00:00:37,896 --> 00:00:39,821
♪ Rollercoaster... ♪
10
00:00:39,898 --> 00:00:43,033
You know?
You know?
11
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,701
It's those doggone kids.
12
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,386
Oh, I know what you're saying.
13
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,498
"Bernie Mac, kids so cute
and cuddly."
14
00:00:49,574 --> 00:00:51,166
Not to me.
15
00:00:51,243 --> 00:00:53,418
They're nasty, dirty,
disease-carrying midgets.
16
00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:56,755
Like rats.
Only difference, no tails,
17
00:00:56,832 --> 00:00:58,598
and their teeth not as sharp.
18
00:00:58,676 --> 00:01:01,760
Hey, the only reason I'm talking
about them so bad
19
00:01:01,837 --> 00:01:03,929
is because
they ruined my plan.
20
00:01:04,005 --> 00:01:08,567
All I wanted to do
was to go to Vegas.
21
00:01:10,762 --> 00:01:11,686
(laughing)
22
00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:13,146
Y'all trying to bust, man?
23
00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:14,272
You got kids now.
24
00:01:14,349 --> 00:01:15,424
Bernie, I'm going to bed.
25
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:16,641
Oh, show time over, babe.
26
00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:19,402
No, no, no.
I'm going to bed
because I'm tired.
27
00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:21,571
You finish up your game,
Mr. Bachelor.
28
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,208
Oh, and when you become
a daddy again,
29
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,326
don't forget to mail
those invitations
30
00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:27,911
for Bryana's birthday party.
31
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,748
Drop it like it's hot, baby.
32
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,208
-Birthday party?
-Yeah.
33
00:01:33,285 --> 00:01:34,126
It's over for you, man.
34
00:01:34,202 --> 00:01:35,168
What you mean
by that?
35
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,586
You ain't coming
to Vegas.
36
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,629
What?
37
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,047
You got kids
with germs
38
00:01:39,124 --> 00:01:41,517
and all kinds
of craziness
coming in your house.
39
00:01:41,593 --> 00:01:43,677
First of all, man,
it ain't even
like that, you know?
40
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,763
My immune system got me
through the '80s, okay?
41
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,308
And second of all, man,
Bernie Mac don't get sick.
42
00:01:50,385 --> 00:01:54,062
Yeah, yeah.
Bernie Mac don't get sick.
43
00:01:54,139 --> 00:01:55,772
-Tell 'em, big fella.
-Oh, really?
44
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:59,442
Ten bucks says Super Mac
gets sick.
45
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,237
Playing with your life,
big buddy?
46
00:02:02,314 --> 00:02:03,263
Whoa, wait a minute.
47
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,048
I got a little action
on that.
48
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:08,326
20 bucks say Bernie Mac
don't make it to Vegas
because he's sick, huh?
49
00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:10,119
First of all, whoa, whoa.
50
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,914
You always cosign
everything this brother say
51
00:02:12,991 --> 00:02:14,166
all the time.
52
00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:15,792
Second of all, it's
not even like that.
53
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,085
It's going to be
a family thing.
54
00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:19,421
A small... a few of
Bryana's friends
55
00:02:19,497 --> 00:02:22,307
going to be over--
that's it. That's all.
56
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,511
Mr. Mac?
57
00:02:26,588 --> 00:02:27,271
Yes?
58
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,930
Hi. Sorry
to bother you.
59
00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:30,048
Hi.
60
00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,766
Bryana tells me that
she's having a party
61
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,436
and that you wouldn't let
her invite her whole class.
62
00:02:34,512 --> 00:02:37,230
Bryana, you said that?
You rat on me like that?
63
00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:39,107
I didn't say that, ma'am.
No, I didn't.
64
00:02:39,184 --> 00:02:40,658
You can't do that.
65
00:02:40,736 --> 00:02:42,944
-Pardon?
-See if you invite one
child from the class
66
00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:44,863
you have to invite
the whole class.
67
00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:46,164
But you knew that,
right?
68
00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:48,408
So you're saying that
if I invite one child
69
00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:51,870
I have to invite
all these germy, nasty,
filthy little kids
70
00:02:51,947 --> 00:02:54,664
to the party, right?
71
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,458
(both laughing)
72
00:02:56,534 --> 00:02:57,709
Yeah.
73
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,169
Right, right.
74
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,962
Listen, I took
the liberty
75
00:03:01,039 --> 00:03:04,391
of inviting everyone
for you, okay?
76
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,595
Hmm. "Took the liberty."
Fine. They all can come.
77
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,347
But I'm going
to tell you one thing:
78
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,974
If one of those kids cough
and doesn't cover their mouth,
79
00:03:13,051 --> 00:03:16,061
I should have the right
to pop them upside the head.
80
00:03:16,137 --> 00:03:18,021
Hold on.
I didn't say I would do it.
81
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,023
I said I should
have the right.
82
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,025
Putting these
nasty germs on me.
83
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,134
(tooting)
84
00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:25,954
("Rollercoaster" playing)
85
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,617
And Bryana's told me so
much about your Kristin.
86
00:03:30,694 --> 00:03:33,036
We'll have to get together
for lunch sometime.
87
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,037
I would love that.
88
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,297
That would
be good, yeah.
89
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,773
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
90
00:03:52,849 --> 00:03:54,224
♪ Of love ♪
91
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,225
♪ Say what? ♪
92
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:56,193
There you go.
93
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,020
(sneezes)
94
00:03:59,097 --> 00:03:59,980
♪ Woo, hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
95
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:03,075
♪ Rollercoaster of love ♪
96
00:04:03,151 --> 00:04:05,777
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
97
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,738
Okay, sweetheart,
let me get this right here.
Thank you.
98
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:13,243
I think everybody's ready
for cake now, Bernie.
99
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,004
The name is Mr. Mac
to you, son, okay?
100
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,122
Say it.
101
00:04:17,198 --> 00:04:18,573
-Mr. Mac.
-Thank you.
102
00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:20,667
WANDA:
One more, one more, one more!
103
00:04:20,744 --> 00:04:22,919
(all cheering)
104
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,889
♪ Rollercoaster,woo, hoo-hoo-hoo... ♪
105
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:30,918
Give your girlfriend
a high five.
106
00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:36,057
There you go.
There you go,
Bryana and Lori.
107
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:38,101
Get it! Get it!
108
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:41,405
(all cheering)
109
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,789
(all cheering)
110
00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,998
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
111
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:02,083
♪ Say what? ♪
112
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,752
Blow 'em out, baby girl.
Blow 'em out.
113
00:05:03,828 --> 00:05:07,339
♪ Rollercoaster,woo-hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
114
00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:10,642
♪ Rollercoaster of love...♪
115
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:20,018
(kids coughing)
116
00:05:20,095 --> 00:05:22,070
(hacking cough)
117
00:05:26,601 --> 00:05:29,411
(coughing continues)
118
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,170
(gagging)
119
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,098
Oh, Lord, Jesus, no.
120
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,533
-Bernie?
-Huh?
121
00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,968
-What's wrong?
-Baby, don't go
in there, please.
122
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:58,890
-Oh, Bernie.
-They got Ebola.
I know what's going on.
123
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,067
Come here.
124
00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:03,895
See, they got sick on purpose.
125
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:08,233
Doing everything they can
to keep me from going to Vegas.
126
00:06:08,309 --> 00:06:10,068
Probably was Vanessa's idea.
127
00:06:10,145 --> 00:06:12,079
Mm-hmm.
128
00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:17,492
Hmm, 101.
129
00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:18,960
My poor babies.
130
00:06:19,037 --> 00:06:21,004
Bernie, would you
help me here?
131
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,280
Um, yes.
132
00:06:22,357 --> 00:06:24,416
Take your temperature, boy.
133
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,543
-I feel great.
-Are you sure?
134
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,753
-Mm-hmm.
-Look Bernie, if you're
not going to come in
135
00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:30,480
why don't you run
Jordan to school,
136
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,881
and I'll stay here
with the girls
till you get back.
137
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:35,927
Okay. Come on, boy.
Making me miss
Regis and Kelly.
138
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,888
-You know I like to watch
TV this time of the day.
-Sorry.
139
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:42,100
♪ It's a beautiful morn... ♪
140
00:06:42,177 --> 00:06:44,102
(whistling tune)
141
00:06:44,179 --> 00:06:45,328
JORDAN:
Uh-oh.
142
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,271
BERNIE:
Oh, what, you
forgot something?
143
00:06:46,347 --> 00:06:47,439
JORDAN: (retching)
144
00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:50,442
BERNIE:
Oh Lord, Jesus, no!
145
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,944
Jordan, don't lay in it!
146
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,446
Stop laying in it.
147
00:06:54,522 --> 00:06:58,241
I'm talking about
2002 Escalade.
148
00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,784
Cadillac.
149
00:06:59,861 --> 00:07:01,744
You be mad, too.
150
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:06,249
Still had the new car smell
and everything.
151
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,377
Plush interior,
calf leather seats,
152
00:07:09,454 --> 00:07:11,129
diamond in the back...
153
00:07:11,206 --> 00:07:12,139
you know the rest.
154
00:07:18,922 --> 00:07:21,589
(water running)
155
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,769
That little liar.
156
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:30,198
Said he didn't eat
my pork chop.
157
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,237
That's my boy.
158
00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:39,240
Take it like a man,
like a man.
159
00:07:39,317 --> 00:07:42,452
Go ahead, make fun of me.
160
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,287
Say I look silly.
161
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,455
So what?
162
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,831
Sticks and stones may...
163
00:07:46,908 --> 00:07:50,635
JORDAN:
Uncle Bernie,
I'm cold.
164
00:07:50,712 --> 00:07:53,963
I'll be right back.
165
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,715
Uncle Bernie...
166
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:57,759
Uncle Bernie, I'm cold.
167
00:07:57,835 --> 00:07:59,511
You ain't cold, boy.
That's just your chills
168
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,021
fighting your fever.
169
00:08:01,097 --> 00:08:02,272
Okay.
170
00:08:08,346 --> 00:08:09,646
Yeah, where was I?
171
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:12,023
Oh, yeah, sticks and stones.
172
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,193
I bet you won't be laughing
at me when I be in Vegas
173
00:08:15,270 --> 00:08:18,363
chillin' at the roulette table,
I bet you that.
174
00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:20,039
I bet you won't be...
175
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:23,701
(muffled)
Uncle Bernie, you left
the thermometer in my mouth.
176
00:08:23,778 --> 00:08:26,838
Hold on one minute.
177
00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:32,877
That's a good look
for you.
178
00:08:32,954 --> 00:08:35,797
Actually, I got it from
your Aunt Wanda, baby.
179
00:08:35,873 --> 00:08:37,974
If it's any of your business.
180
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,892
Okay, here you go.
181
00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:51,187
Would you tell him
to get me a juice?
182
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,691
Uncle Bernie,
could you get
Vanessa a juice?
183
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,476
I'm sitting right here.
184
00:08:56,552 --> 00:08:57,735
Why didn't you ask me
while I was in here
a minute ago?
185
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,572
Tell him I wasn't
thirsty then.
186
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:02,991
She says she wasn't
thirsty then.
187
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,284
I heard her.
188
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,961
Ask her what did I do to her
189
00:09:06,037 --> 00:09:08,037
to make her talk
to me like she do.
190
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,998
What? You can't talk
to me directly?
191
00:09:10,074 --> 00:09:11,583
You the one sitting up here
talking to your brother.
192
00:09:11,659 --> 00:09:13,051
I'm just messing
with you.
193
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:16,504
Oh, girl, make me sick
every doggone day.
194
00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:19,015
You make me sick!
195
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,686
Oh, boy.
196
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,888
JORDAN:
Uncle Bernie,
I need a cough drop.
197
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,349
VANESSA:
And ask him where
my juice is.
198
00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:32,145
JORDAN:
Where's Vanessa's juice?
199
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:34,281
A few minutes.
200
00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:41,413
Juice.
201
00:09:41,489 --> 00:09:43,615
JORDAN:
Hey, wait,
where's my cough drop?
202
00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:45,083
Aw, man.
203
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,714
Oh, no!
204
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:02,701
(chuckles)
205
00:10:02,777 --> 00:10:03,801
See, I know
what you're thinking.
206
00:10:03,878 --> 00:10:06,596
Bernie, why you so dramatic?
207
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,172
Dramatic?
208
00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:10,433
If you've never been
to Vegas with the boys,
209
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,126
I can't explain it to you.
210
00:10:12,203 --> 00:10:14,604
Only thing I can say to you--
Viva Las Vegas, baby.
211
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:19,484
BRYANA :
Uncle Bernie, I had a BM
and I threw up.
212
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,328
I'm sick of this.
213
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:27,492
That's most of it.
214
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,119
Now for you...
215
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:32,255
hop in the tub
so I can hose you down.
216
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:45,968
Ah! Ready for the day, Bernie.
217
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:50,139
Tongue same color,
lymph nodes looking good--
218
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,683
eyes not bloodshot.
219
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:53,017
Good boy. Good boy.
220
00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:55,528
Who's the man?
You're the man.
221
00:10:55,605 --> 00:10:58,272
Strong, healthy, black man.
222
00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:00,358
♪ Da-ah-da-ah ♪
223
00:11:00,435 --> 00:11:02,610
♪ Ba-ba, da-ah-da-ah ♪
224
00:11:02,687 --> 00:11:05,238
♪ Time to celebrate ♪
225
00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:06,823
♪ Celebrate ♪
226
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,501
♪ Bernie Mac's
going to Vegas ♪
227
00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:11,035
♪ Going to Vegas ♪
228
00:11:11,112 --> 00:11:13,413
♪ Whatcha gonna eat
something... ♪
229
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:15,164
♪ Something healthy? ♪
230
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,500
♪ Hell, no ♪
231
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,294
♪ Da-da-da,
da-da-da-da ♪
232
00:11:20,371 --> 00:11:21,304
♪ Cake ♪
233
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:23,506
♪ Cake ♪
234
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,967
♪ Whatcha gonna eat? ♪
235
00:11:26,043 --> 00:11:28,010
♪ Whatcha gonna eat,
something healthy? ♪
236
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:29,104
♪ Birthday cake. ♪
237
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:32,265
♪ Rollercoaster of love ♪
238
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:33,516
♪ Say what ♪
239
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,735
♪ Rollercoaster ♪
240
00:11:40,475 --> 00:11:41,482
(coughing)
241
00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,234
Yeah...
242
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,069
now I got it.
243
00:11:45,146 --> 00:11:46,362
Y'all saw me.
244
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,864
I was careful.
245
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,866
I used all the precautions.
246
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,034
It's those doggone kids.
247
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,828
I should have laminated
those doggone kids.
248
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:57,039
What the heck was I thinking?
But that's okay.
249
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,667
Now my boys going to Vegas
without me.
250
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,836
But all Bernie Mac got to do
251
00:12:01,913 --> 00:12:04,547
is get a little rest,
a little shut eye,
252
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,056
catch the red eye.
253
00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:09,102
Little shut eye, baby,
Bernie Mac catch the red eye.
254
00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:13,723
The kids are feeling better,
so I'll run them to school,
255
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,683
so you have nothing
to worry about.
256
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,027
Mm-mm-mm-mm.
257
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,896
I'll come home early
to check on you.
258
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:22,523
Bring you some ginger ale with
all the bubbles stirred out.
259
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,858
That'll settle your stomach.
260
00:12:23,935 --> 00:12:27,136
(incoherent mumbling)
261
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:34,243
I know, baby, I know.
262
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,004
What can a mama do?
263
00:12:37,031 --> 00:12:39,299
Can you rub some of that
on my chest?
264
00:12:42,954 --> 00:12:44,796
You know, I wouldn't
ask you, but...
265
00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,255
That's okay.
There's a baby.
266
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,591
The mama little baby and the
mother...
267
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,434
No, sir. No, sir.
268
00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:53,346
You all not going to watch her
rub that stuff on my chest.
269
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:56,474
Uh-uh. Ain't nothing sacred
between man and wife?
270
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,734
Y'all just nosy.
271
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,353
You always want to be
in somebody's business.
272
00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:03,105
WANDA:
Oh honey, Bryana's
feeling a little feverish.
273
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:04,114
Are you well enough
to keep an eye on her?
274
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,742
I'm going to leave her at home.
275
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,460
Hey, Aunt Wanda,
276
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,569
I can stay home
and watch Bryana if you want.
277
00:13:08,646 --> 00:13:10,029
I mean, it's not a problem.
278
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,656
No, no, no.
Nice try, baby girl,
279
00:13:11,732 --> 00:13:13,241
but you just trying
to get out of school.
280
00:13:13,317 --> 00:13:15,284
I ain't that sick.
I'll be all right.
281
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,327
You go on to school.
282
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:17,328
Let's go.
283
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:18,454
BERNIE:(coughing)
284
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,340
WANDA:
Jordan?
285
00:13:33,254 --> 00:13:36,105
Uncle Bernie,
will you play with me?
286
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,600
Bryana, Uncle Bernie tired.
287
00:13:39,677 --> 00:13:41,102
Can you play
by yourself today?
288
00:13:41,178 --> 00:13:44,146
Okay. I'll get the scissors.
289
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,691
No, no, baby,
don't get no scissors.
290
00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:47,942
I'll play with you, okay?
291
00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:49,735
For just ten minutes.
292
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:52,488
This is Chrissy
and yours is Cindy.
293
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,282
All right.
294
00:13:54,358 --> 00:13:55,358
(sighs)
295
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,993
I'm going to the store.
296
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:58,744
Do you want to go?
297
00:13:58,821 --> 00:13:59,796
Mm-mm.
298
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:02,999
No, Uncle Bernie, not like that.
299
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:07,086
You have to
hold her up.
300
00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:08,495
(sighs)
301
00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:10,631
Okay, just go
to the store.
302
00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:11,799
BERNIE:
No.
303
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,134
No, Uncle Bernie.
304
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:15,678
You have to talk
like Cindy.
305
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,255
BERNIE (high voice):
No.
306
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:20,149
You have to say "yes,"
Uncle Bernie.
307
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,284
Yes.
308
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,644
Okay. Let's go
to the store.
309
00:14:23,721 --> 00:14:25,279
All right.
310
00:14:25,357 --> 00:14:27,773
No, Uncle Bernie, she
doesn't walk like that.
311
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,400
She walks like this.
312
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:30,610
Okay, Bryana, Bryana...
313
00:14:30,686 --> 00:14:31,727
-Like this.
-Okay.
314
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,195
But, Bryana, Uncle Bernie,
315
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:35,531
he's too old
to play with dolls.
316
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,042
Can we play
something else, baby?
317
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,047
(drum beating)
318
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:57,386
I'm going to read to you
and make you feel all better.
319
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,263
That'd be nice, baby girl.
320
00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:02,683
But first, Uncle Bernie
going to take a nap
321
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,685
for one hour--
just one hour,
322
00:15:04,762 --> 00:15:07,688
and then you can read,
we play dollies,
323
00:15:07,765 --> 00:15:09,815
or whatever else
you want to do, okay?
324
00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:11,033
Okay.
325
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,912
-Good.
-But first I'll
read to you.
326
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:19,876
Once upon a time, there
was a beautiful princess
327
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:23,829
who lived in a big,
beautiful, purple castle
328
00:15:23,906 --> 00:15:25,081
with orange, too.
329
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:29,043
She had 13 dogs and eight cats
330
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,087
and no birds.
331
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,173
And what else h-happened...
332
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,426
the... the bear died...
333
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:40,721
because...the bear dies, because...
334
00:15:40,798 --> 00:15:42,264
...if he lives
somewhere...
335
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:46,644
if he lives somewhere,
he would, um...
336
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,813
He would d...
he wouldn't die.
337
00:15:48,889 --> 00:15:51,065
If he wouldn't
live nowhere
338
00:15:51,142 --> 00:15:53,359
he would die,
but there was...
339
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,445
Man, I don't know
how much more I can take.
340
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:57,597
America, I'm sorry,
341
00:15:57,673 --> 00:15:59,824
but this girl
about to drive me crazy.
342
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:02,576
I didn't know
she knew that many words.
343
00:16:02,653 --> 00:16:03,903
Y'all got to pray for me.
344
00:16:03,979 --> 00:16:05,830
I'm telling you,
you got to pray for me.
345
00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,791
(stops talking)
346
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,593
I think she through.
347
00:16:19,336 --> 00:16:22,805
Uncle Bernie!
Uncle Bernie!
348
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,724
(whimpers)
349
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,892
Why you crying?
350
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:32,148
Oh, Bryana, girl...
351
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,899
it's only 10:00
in the morning.
352
00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:37,954
I know, just
play parade again.
353
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,781
No, no, I don't want
to play no parade.
354
00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:44,827
Hey, I got an idea.
355
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,704
Come on, sit with Uncle
Bernie right quick.
356
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:49,290
Oh... I got an idea.
357
00:16:49,366 --> 00:16:51,667
Let's play hide-and-seek.
358
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,244
Yay!
359
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,171
Okay, you hide
and I come look for you.
360
00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:56,839
I'll count to 100, okay?
361
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,340
-Okay.
-Okay. One...
362
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,843
two...
363
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,846
Three. Hide good now.
364
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,232
Oh... One...
365
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,643
two...
366
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,604
(snoring)
367
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,073
BRYANA: (crying)
368
00:17:18,562 --> 00:17:20,246
Oh, Bryana.
369
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:25,534
Baby girl, I'm sorry
370
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,495
I didn't come looking
for you, okay?
371
00:17:27,571 --> 00:17:29,580
You hurt my feelings,
Uncle Bernie.
372
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:32,917
Oh... Bryana, you the last
person I want to hurt.
373
00:17:32,993 --> 00:17:34,493
I just had to
get some rest.
374
00:17:34,571 --> 00:17:37,630
I'm trying to get better
so I can go to Vegas.
375
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,840
Hey...
376
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:41,884
Hey, baby girl, you
see this timer?
377
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,685
It's set for one hour.
378
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,846
In one hour, you're going
to hear ding-ding.
379
00:17:45,923 --> 00:17:46,922
When you hear ding-ding,
380
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,100
you and me can play
all you want.
381
00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:52,478
Before ding-ding, me.
After ding-ding, you. Okay?
382
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:53,320
Okay.
383
00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:54,221
Say "ding-ding."
384
00:17:54,299 --> 00:17:56,565
-Ding-ding.
-Girl, that's it.
385
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,943
(humming)
386
00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:01,237
BERNIE:
Bryana, come here, baby girl!
387
00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,405
I can't, Uncle Bernie.
388
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:05,866
You need to
get your rest.
389
00:18:05,943 --> 00:18:07,684
Never mind that.
Listen...
390
00:18:07,762 --> 00:18:11,330
go into the hall closet,
get me some toilet tissue
391
00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:12,873
and throw it to me, okay?
392
00:18:12,950 --> 00:18:14,283
Hurry up. It's important.
393
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,254
I can't, Uncle Bernie.
It didn't go ding-ding.
394
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,005
Ding-ding, baby girl,
ding-ding.
395
00:18:20,082 --> 00:18:21,232
Hurry up, now.
396
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,843
Uncle Bernie, did
you have a BM,
397
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:25,719
or are you throwing up?
398
00:18:25,796 --> 00:18:28,606
Hurry, hurry up!
Come on, Bryana, hurry up!
399
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:31,767
I can't reach it.
400
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,727
BERNIE:
Okay, listen,
listen, listen.
401
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:35,104
Go in the kitchen,
402
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,189
pour yourself some juice,
403
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:40,901
and stay in the kitchen
and drink it, okay?
404
00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:42,327
Okay.
405
00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:44,288
All right, hurry up,
baby girl, hurry up!
406
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,710
Drinking your juice?
407
00:18:57,786 --> 00:18:58,920
I drank it.
408
00:18:58,996 --> 00:19:01,305
All right, get yourself another.
409
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,436
Mmm, I'm so glad
he got his rest.
410
00:19:15,512 --> 00:19:19,273
Shh, come on,
let's let them sleep.
411
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:22,067
I'll take you
to get some tacos.
412
00:19:22,144 --> 00:19:23,402
-You like tacos?
-I don't know.
413
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:24,945
-You don--you don't?
-No
414
00:19:25,022 --> 00:19:28,166
(door closes)
415
00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:31,586
(car starting)
416
00:19:31,662 --> 00:19:34,496
Wanda! Wanda! Wanda!
417
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,123
Wanda...
418
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:41,179
(crying)
Wanda... Wanda...
419
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:48,636
Uncle Bernie, do you remember
you told us
420
00:19:48,712 --> 00:19:51,513
not to throw anything
on the floor
421
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,016
or we might break something?
422
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:54,975
Yeah.
423
00:19:55,052 --> 00:19:56,977
Chrissy didn't listen.
424
00:19:57,054 --> 00:19:59,813
Maybe we should give her
a time out.
425
00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:01,866
Okay.
426
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,365
Grownups shouldn't be left alone
with kids all day.
427
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,368
It ain't right.
It's not natural.
428
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:15,204
Like fish flying,
birds in the sea.
429
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,923
This is my kin,
my flesh and blood.
430
00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:20,125
But I'm going to say it,
you ain't going to like it.
431
00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:24,588
She's boring, dull...
dull as a rock.
432
00:20:24,665 --> 00:20:26,715
This was the dullest day
of my life.
433
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:30,052
Had I spent another day
with her--another minute,
434
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,563
I probably would have...
435
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,900
Uncle Bernie,
you hurt my feelings.
436
00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,127
(clears throat)
437
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,562
Um, come here, baby girl.
438
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:43,232
Come sit with
me for a while.
439
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,985
Oh, Bryana, oh.
440
00:20:46,061 --> 00:20:48,779
I'm sorry.
441
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,489
You know what?
442
00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:52,866
I appreciate you taking
care of your Uncle Bernie
443
00:20:52,943 --> 00:20:54,660
like you did today, okay?
444
00:20:54,737 --> 00:20:55,819
Okay.
445
00:20:55,897 --> 00:20:57,672
Now, do me a favor,
go in the kitchen,
446
00:20:57,748 --> 00:20:59,656
make yourself
something to drink.
447
00:20:59,734 --> 00:21:02,209
I got to finish talking to
America right now, okay?
448
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,752
-Okay.
-Okay.
449
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,429
Love you.
450
00:21:09,376 --> 00:21:12,594
She's still dull, boring.
451
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:14,596
Anyway, I didn't get no better.
452
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:17,599
Didn't even get a chance
to go to Vegas.
453
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:20,820
But I did get a chance
to play blackjack.
454
00:21:25,893 --> 00:21:27,142
Hit me.
455
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:29,903
Uncle Bernie,
you can't hit on 20.
456
00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:31,071
He's stupid.
457
00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:32,915
Hit me. Come on.
458
00:21:43,786 --> 00:21:47,296
who lived in a big, beautiful,
purple castle
459
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,673
with orange, too.
460
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:53,344
She had 13 dogs
and eight cats
461
00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:54,762
and no birds.
462
00:21:54,838 --> 00:21:58,974
What color was it?
Purple or orange?
463
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,518
It was, it was purple.
464
00:22:01,595 --> 00:22:04,938
Just making up stuff.
465
00:22:05,015 --> 00:22:06,657
You did that.
466
00:22:08,268 --> 00:22:09,284
You can't read.
467
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:10,328
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
31977
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof