All language subtitles for The Outlaws S02E06 720p WEB-DL x264 BONE

TAPE RECORDER BEEPS

You and your friends
are in a lot of trouble.

# I've never seen
the inside of a bar room

# Or listened to a jukebox
all night long

# But I see these are the things
that bring you pleasure

# So I'm gonna make some changes
in our home

# I'll change if it takes that
to make you happy

# From now on,
you're gonna see a different me

# Because your good girl's
gonna go bad... #

PHONE VIBRATES

What do you want?

Who is he?

Who's who?

You bring in new blood,
I should know about it.

They're still my people.

What are you talking about?

The American.

What American?

Yo, don't treat me like an idiot.

Man still connected
in this, you know.

Hey! Will you remember
who you're talking to?

Sorry.

I don't know anything
about any American.

So what have you heard?

Stop. Please stop.

Let him go. Let him go!

Who's the American?

What American?

Let him go!

Fine, we'll tell you.

We were introduced to someone
by our lawyer.

HE GASPS

Who?

He's an old guy from New York.

All we know is he's found a way

to bring uncut coke
into the country.

And what does he want from you?

He was looking for distributors.

We offered our services.

Without telling me?

This is our thing.

None of my people do business
under my nose

without, A, telling me,

and B, cutting me in.

Come on.

I want to meet this American.

Dad, lunch is ready.

Be right there, darling.

INAUDIBLE

The community centre grand opening
is in two days' time,

and I can confirm in attendance
will be His Highness,

the Lord Mayor of Bristol,
and his wife.

So it is of vital imperative...ness

that the whole day goes
without a hitch. Capiche?

I have assigned each of you
tasks to be completed

on the day to the utmost
of your abilities.

You two, car park supervision.

You two, the sweet treats stall.

I'm taking control of
the community centre.

I'm receiving the keys
from the mayor.

Yeah, well, until then, I'm Billy
Big Bollocks around here. Capiche?

Since when does she say "capiche"?

Since she watched Goodfellas
last night. Ah.

Notice there are two Portaloos,
yeah?

Portaloo one is for plebs.

This one...

Very important pees only.

Very important persons, plural.

The only people I want to see
doing their business in here

is the Lord Mayor and/or his wife.

You want to see them doing number
ones or number twos in there?

Both. Happily.

So the VIP latrine
is now padlocked.

I'm entrusting the key to you,

because you're a member
of the landed gentry,

and therefore know
how to respect a toilet.

You and I are the only persons
authorised to grant access.

Oh, my God, I can't believe
I get the keys to the VIP shitter.

Hey, no. I don't want any salty
language in front of the Lord Mayor.

What about his wife?
Especially not his fucking wife.

Oh, Sergeant Haines.

Diane, can I have a word?

Ma'am.

If Sergeant Haines needs a dump,
let her use the posh crapper, OK?

Excuse me.

Through here, ma'am.

You were right.

I believe the preparation
and selling of illegal drugs

has been going on here, and I think
it involves your offenders.

I reckon we take 'em down right now.

Well, right now,
I have no concrete evidence.

Happy to smack it out of 'em
old school.

I know for a fact
that beanpole's a crier.

I just need you to keep
your eyes peeled

and report anything suspicious
to me.

Are you officially deputising me?

I don't have authority
to officially deputise you.

How about deputise me unofficially?

That would be meaningless,

and give you literally no
legal authority whatsoever.

But will you...do it?

I unofficially deputise you, yes.

Remember, eyes peeled.
Report anything suspicious.

I won't let you down.

Who got married?

My ex Lara.

Oh. Are you OK with that?

Today is not about me, Greg,

it's about you getting
a promotion.

Come on, what are you going to do
when you get in to work?

Well, I'm going to walk into
my boss's office... Ah, wrong.

You are marching into your boss's
office... Am I?

..with total confidence and you're
going to give it to him

with both barrels. Go.
Excuse me, sir, sorry to bother you,

but I have worked here 11 years,
so would you please contemplate

the possibility of considering
making me a partner, please, sir?

That was both barrels?
Oh, yeah, baby.

No, Greg, you are marching in there
and you are saying,

"If you don't make me a partner,
I am walking out that door

"and I ain't coming back."

And then, you're going to march up
to Anne-Marie

and you're going to take her
for a drink,

before you bring her back here
and you bang her brains out.

On this counter, on the couch,
against the wall, on the carpet.

Generally around the flat,
I get the idea, yeah. Yeah.

Go get 'em.

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

PLAYS TRUMPET OUT OF TUNE

No, like this. I can't do it.
You can do it.

I don't want to play the trumpet.

Well, you're going to play the
trumpet, OK? I don't want to.

What is going on? I played the
trumpet when I was your age, OK,

and I loved it. I loved it.

Till your grandfather told me it was
for fairies. What's going on?

Effie's going to learn to play the
trumpet to a very high standard,

and she's going to get
a music scholarship,

and that's going to
pay for her school.

OK, one more time, like this.
I don't want to.

Just blow the bloody trumpet!
John!

You don't have to play it, darling.

Daddy's just kidding. Aren't you?

Yep.

Sorry, darling,
it's just Daddy's little joke.

OK.

OK, enough.

What is going on with you?

Talk to me.

I'll just go check on her.

Sir, I've worked here for 11 years,

and I really feel it's time
you made me a partner.

Come.

I have a Zoom in five,
so make it quick.

Sir, I've been working here
for 11 years,

so...I really feel...

..it's time that...

..we had a casual Friday.
No, I don't like 'em.

Fine, just wanted to bring it up.
My door is always open.

But close it on your way out.
Thank you.

I ain't telling you nothing
unless I have it in writing.

Immunity and early release
is a big ask.

So is snitching on The Dean.

I have to speak to the CPS,
and that takes time.

You don't have time.

Something big is going down
that'll nail The Dean to the wall.

I'd hate for you to miss it.

What's going down?

Immunity and early release
in writing.

Yo, Margie,
I'm stepping out for a bit.

Margie, it's been made safe.

Oh, well, then, I don't know why
I'm so upset

that my six-year-old daughter
found a gun in our house.

OK, here's the thing.

Me and a couple of others
found a bag of money

doing community service.

I mean, a lot of money.

And instead of going to the cops,
we kept it.

Tom found my cut,

threatened to burn it and hid it,

but I found it, and I was going to
split to Brazil.

Instead, I paid off your mortgage.

Now, it turns out the money
belongs to this drug dealer,

this real bad guy,

who threatened to clip us
if we don't deal drugs for him

to pay our debt,
but now he wants more.

And if we go to the cops,
we incriminate ourselves.

So we figure the only way
to get him off our backs

is to send him down ourselves.

Our plan is to get him
pulled over by the cops

with ten kilos of cocaine
in the trunk of his car,

but he never handles
product himself,

and he never leaves London,

so we're using this grift
called the brass bunkum,

which involves a gun.

Goodnight, Frank.

That's the whole truth, Margie,
nothing but.

Oh, I believe you.

You sure you're OK doing this?

I am one of the world's
great gift wrappers, Greg.

I mean being around
all this cocaine.

Oh, how did it go with
the promotion and Anne-Marie?

I've got to get going.

Well, good luck.

You OK?

I'm fine.

Let's do this.

May I introduce, from New York,
Mr Ralf Rostelli?

Ralfie. Call me Ralfie.

You want something?

From the minibar?

We got tiny whiskies,

tiny vodkas, full-sized Pellegrinos.

No, thanks.
What about nuts?

Got eight different
kinds of nuts here.

I'm here about your requirements.

All business, this guy.

When I met these two,
we had a drink, broke bread,

I got to stare 'em
in the whites in their eyes.

That's how we do things
where I come from.

I'm here for new business,
Mr Rostelli, not new friends.

Ralfie, call me Ralfie.

Open your shirts.

Pardon me?
You think I'm wearing a wire?

Open your shirts.

Screw you, open yours.

Lay a hand on me,
I'll break every finger on it.

In all five boroughs of New York,
I am known.

Ask anybody about Ralf Rostelli
out of New York, they'll tell you.

Our business here is done.

Mr Rostelli, please, wait, sir.

I ain't dealing with two-bits,
don't show respect.

So long.

RANI WHISPERING: Please. Apologise.

Fuck him.

This guy's product makes yours
look like Shake n' Vac.

It's mad pure.

You want this deal.

I apologise.

We just have to be careful.

I'll have the pistachios, please.

That's better.

OK, he'll be gone for 30 minutes.

You sure? I ran this place
for 12 bloody years.

All right, I was only bloody asking.

I don't need your help.

KEYS JANGLE

John.

John, I want to tell you something,

because I haven't got anyone else
to tell.

I'm on tenterhooks.

Every night when I go to bed,
and every morning when I wake up...

..there's someone in my flat
with me.

It's that policeman
that died in that fire.

Are you saying...

WHISPERING: .."I see dead people"?

No. No, I...

I know that it's all in my head,
but...

Doesn't matter.

GREG: One of my other clients,
a Bristol businessman,

John Halloran,
is in hot water financially.

Needs to make a lot of money
very quickly.

Now, for years, Halloran's family
have been importing

and exporting brake pads through
the port of Bristol.

It's a legitimate family business,

so if certain illicit products
were included in his shipments,

customs would have no reason
to suspect it.

We've got a test run tomorrow.

Ten keys.

Ten keys?

How much are you charging?

£400,000.

HE CHUCKLES

Are you out of your minds?

Street value to you
is three times that.

I want to meet this Halloran.

I want to sample the product.

Bring both to London
and we'll have...

Hey. I made this trip
out of courtesy

cos these two said you're the guy,
but no more visits.

You want to see Halloran,
or the product, you come to Bristol.

I never leave London.
Make an exception.

But I don't even know who you are.

I'm Ralf Rostelli out of New York.
Who the fuck are you?

When? Where?

Tomorrow, Park Street Hotel, 2pm.

OK.

One more thing.

I don't play with kids.
These two - out.

But this is our deal.
We made this happen.

You're out.
Eh? What the fuck?

Nah, man. What's going on?

That's not fair! We made the deal.
We're in this.

MUSIC: Reach Up
by Perfecto Allstarz

Committed, good.

How 'bout you, young fella? Come on,
give it a shot. Guess how many.

Oi! Tabards off.

Face painting here. Do you want
your face painted, madam? No?

Get your face painted
by a celebrity.

Greg?

Sophie.

This is Greg, my ex-husband.

G'day, mate.
G'day.

Good...Good day. Good day to you.

So what do you do, Greg?

I'm a lawyer. Well-paid lawyer.
What about yourself?

Professional skydiver.

Is that even a real job?

Yes, it is.

Darling...

..pretty please will you win me
another teddy bear

at the shooting range?

OK.
Oh, look at you.

Oh, hi.

This is Sophie, my wife.

Ex-wife. And this is...

My name's Dante.
Of course it is.

So how did you two meet?

Well, Greggles rocked on over to me
after our kick boxing class and...

Woo. Ooh!
..swept me off my feet.

Literally, cos it was
kick boxing class.

Nice.

What about you two?
Erm...

..we met on a parachute jump.

Her fifth. My sixtieth.

Oh, Christ, that must get
fucking boring.

You jump, mate?

Oh, no, Greg tends to play it safe.

Not true.
We went inline skating recently,

and I didn't wear kneepads
or a helmet.

By inline skating,
do you mean rollerblading?

Rollerblade is a brand name,

so you should really call it
inline skating.

Like I say, Greg plays it safe.

I'm not going to apologise for
respecting trademark law, Sophie.

You should know that about me.

One of the reasons she fell in love
with me. Oh, yes. Yeah. Mm.

OK, well, we should get going.

It was nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Aw!

Penny for your thoughts.

I'm thinking I'd still be married
if I was more like him.

Darling, you can't pull off tie dye.

I mean the sort of bloke
who jumps out of planes.

No, stop it, all right?

That's exactly the thinking
that's holding you back, OK?

Asking out Anne-Marie,
asking for a promotion.

You don't do things, Greg,
because you think,

"Well, I'm not the sort of bloke
who jumps out of planes,"

but blokes who jump out of planes
only jump out of planes

because they...
they jump out of planes.

Who said that originally?
Was it the Dalai Lama?

Oi! Less getting acquainted,
more faces painted.

Oh, shit.

What you doing here?

I know you're not
looking for my approval,

but you made something real
happen here,

something valuable. I just...

I want to support that.

Right.

OK.

Thanks.

See? The bloody woman.

The one you framed
for a crime she didn't commit?

Look, if I have to choose between
the individual and the cause,

I choose the cause.
That doesn't make you a good person.

You think she's the cancer
in your group.

She's not, you are.

How so?

We've sold drugs,

we've taken dirty money,
we've threatened people.

For the greater good.

Ends justify the means, do they?

If what we've done ever gets out,

any good your organisation
has achieved will be torpedoed.

Yeah, well, I know that, don't I?

There's not much I can do
about that now. Wrong.

If you were in the army, you'd be
left alone in a room with a revolver

to do the honourable thing.

CHEERING

Come on, guess how many.

Diane.

Oh! I don't feel good.

Help me.

Frank.

Frank!

What is going on?

I felt faint.

I'm good now.

Oh, you've been on your feet
all day. You need a little lie down.

I'm good. I'm good.

Diane, permission to take Frank
for a lie down?

I'll allow it.
Thank you.

Oh, dear, Frank.

Have a lie down.

Oh, oh, got you.

Oh.

There.

Thank you, darling.

Do we have a deal?

Everything you have on The Dean
for early release

and immunity from further charges.
You won't get a better offer.

Are you signing or not?

You said something big
is going down. What?

The Dean's taking receipt of
ten keys of pure Colombian cocaine.

Park Street Hotel, 2.00pm today.

Come on, quickly! Quickly.

Better hot step.

Has he arrived?
No, no sign of him so far.

Park in here.
OK.

PHONE VIBRATES

Hello, Diane.

Deputy Diane, Ma'am.

Yes, hello, Deputy Diane.

I have eyes on all the offenders,
as requested.

All are here,
present and accounted for.

Thank you, dep...er, deputy.

Ma'am, I don't know if
you're free next Wednesday,

but they're doing a little
graduation ceremony

for us PCSOs, and we're allowed
to bring a plus-one.

My mum has bingo that night,
so she can't attend,

so I just wondered whether you...

I don't think I can make it, Diane.

No, I mean, just to be clear,
I'm inviting you as a friend.

This isn't a lesbian thing.

I don't know if you are,
not that there's anything wrong...

Don't get me wrong,
we've all dabbled.

But just so you know,
I am partial to the cock,

if you catch my drift.

I do. But I have to go now, Diane.

OK, roger that. Over.

This guy.

Change of plan.

Halloran is jumpy.

Wants to meet some place
with lots of people.

Take the back exit.

SINGSONG: Charity car wash. Donate!

Showtime.

I'm not sure I can do this.

You can't jump out of a plane
without jumping out of a plane.

Still makes no sense.

Go!

Come on, John.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

HE INHALES SHARPLY

SHE GAGS

So good to see you again.
Nice drive down?

So, where is he, Halloran?

Oh, he's just popped to the...
Over there.

He what?

You wait here, I'll fetch him.

Keep him talking.

What am I going to talk to
a drug dealer about?

So were you affected much
by Brexit or...?

What's busier for you,
Christmas or New Year?

We don't need to talk.
No, definitely not.

All right?
Yep.

HAINES: Any deal should be done
by now.

What are they doing in there,
using the spa?

Diane.

Diane, something awful
has come to pass in the VIP latrine.

Well, how did that happen?
You're the only one with a key.

I'm so sorry. I've let you down.

Yeah, you have.

Show me the crime scene.

Which room is this man in?
Is he a guest at the hotel?

He arrived about 2.00.

I've been here since 11.00.
I haven't seen him.

How do we get to
the car park? Quick.

Where the hell is John?

Oh, Christ on a bike.

SHE GAGS

SHE GAGS

I've identified the matter,
and it's just soup.

I repeat, it is not vomit,
it's just vegetable soup.

KNOCK ON DOOR

It won't open.

Why is it shut?
What?

All right, stand back.

I'm going to try and bash it in
from this side, all right?

That seems like a bad idea.

One, two, three.

Never seen Del Boy
falling through the hatch?

I don't watch TV. This is classic,
everyone's seen this.

Watch, watch.

Just get a bit of a...

You ready?
Stand back for safety, OK?

HE LAUGHS

Look at Trigger's face!

He doesn't know what's happened.

DIANE GROANS AND COUGHS

You OK?

Yeah.

You've landed on top of the door.

Yeah, I know.

LAUGHTER FROM PHONE

No?

TRIGGER ON PHONE: Are you going to
try for them birds?

Oh, I told you he was going to fall
before you saw it.

I ruined the punch line.

My fault.

David Jason would be furious.

Where's Halloran?

John?

This is nice, isn't it?

Stuff for the kiddies
and everything.

You're on! Let's go.

I can't.

We're all depending on you.

I'll just let you down,
then, won't I?

I might get a toffee apple.
Do you fancy one?

No, thanks.

Look, we all make mistakes,

but this is our chance to fix them,

and then we can go back
to our lives.

I don't think I have a life, Myrns.

Three months ago, I had a life.

You know, I had a job,
I had a little bit of money,

a little bit of respect.

Now I'm a drug dealer
who smokes crack.

I just failed, Myrns.

Dad was right, you know?
I'm a failure.

You're not a failure.

I'll tell you what you are.

You're a self-pitying little bitch.

Mm?

You are a middle-aged white man
with all the privilege in the world.

Your dad bullied you,
so you're scared to show weakness

or ask anyone for help, which means,
when the shit hits the fan,

you implode. So, here you are,
sitting in the gents',

having a panic attack,
instead of sucking it up,

taking responsibility,

and doing your bloody part
to help us sort this mess out.

OK, one more time.

Urgh!

DIANE GROANS

SHE COUGHS

SHE SIGHS

That looked like hard work.

It's mainly soup, people.

The only vomit is my own.

SHE GAGS

Are you sure you don't fancy
a toffee apple? No.

Smart. I mean, it looks like fruit,
but it's all sugar, innit, really?

And that stuff's like crack.
You should sell these.

HE SIGHS
This is a joke. I'm out of here.

JOHN: You, come with me
round the back.

Shall we do some business?

Huh?

When it's cut, you'll be dealing
for months on this load alone.

So, decision time. You in, you out?

No, no, hand it to high pockets.

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not driving up to London
with product in my car.

Well, then, who is?

You are.

No, no, no. I've done my part.

Listen, I never handle product.

Unless you deliver that to me,
I'll take my money back.

Back away from the van and put your
hands in the air. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Back the fuck up.
Whoa!

Wait! What the fuck is going on?

All we want is our money.
Where is it?

Where is it?

Look, we've got no beef with you.

But if you move,
we will shoot you too.

Put the gun down. Let's talk.

Fuck you, Ralf.

You shouldn't have kept us out of
our own fucking deal.

You know who you're fucking with?
I'm Ralf Rostelli out of New York.

And I'm Rani Rekowski
out of Bristol.

The deal is off.

The deal is done.

No money, no product.

HE SIGHS

This is your mess.

I want that product in London
by 7.00 today,

or I'll find you and I'll hurt you.

I don't give a fuck if you're
Ralf Rostelli out of New York.

ENGINE STARTS

Yeah, I need a fix on
a grey Maserati saloon heading north

out of Bristol towards London.

Yankee Whisky 20
Oscar Juliett Romeo.

SINGSONG: Charity car wash. Donate!

Thank you.

Handsome car for a dreamy man.

SHE PURRS

How about a donation for my bucket?

Yeah, sure, absolutely.
There you go. Thank you.

Thank you, bye. Bye-bye. Take care.

Now, to accept the key,

the new custodian.

A woman who's selflessly
devoted her life

to the community she loves
so deeply through her organisation,

the Bristol Justice Collective -
Myrna Okeke.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

This community centre stands now
as a beacon of hope

and rejuvenation,
helping families, local kids,

people with addiction issues.
But when we first saw it,

it was old and decrepit
and out of date.

A bit like me.

The same way that this place
needed updating,

I do too.

Which is why I have decided
to resign from

the Bristol Justice Collective,

and hand this key
to someone who will bring youth

and imagination
and integrity to the organisation.

Claire...

..if you'd like to come up here.

Hey, boss.

SIREN

What the fuck is this?

I hereby declare Faircrest Hill
Community Centre open.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Please open the boot, sir.

Is there a problem, officer?

I need you to open the boot, sir.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

TAPE RECORDER BEEPS

The Met have been after a London
drug dealer known as The Dean

for years, but could never
pin anything on him.

Yet I've just arrested him with
ten kilos of cocaine in his boot.

How did I do that?

I give up. How did you?

This is ten kilos
of pure, uncut cocaine.

Was it good cocaine?

Why would I give drugs
to a drug-dealer?

I mean, I don't want to tell you
your job, but I think,

traditionally, drug-dealers give
you drugs in exchange for money.

Isn't that the usual
business model?

Back the fuck up! Whoa! Whoa! All we
want is our money. Where is it?

You know who you're fucking with?

I'm Ralf Rostelli out of New York!

And I'm Rani Rekowski
out of Bristol.

Who is he? Who's who? The American.

What American?

No money, no product.

The deal is done.

I think you put the cocaine
in his car.

Where am I?

How would you even go about
planting drugs in a man's car?

What kind of car was it?

It's just that I've put cocaine
in so many cars over the years,

they all just merge into one.

SINGSONG: Charity car wash. Donate!

When were we supposed
to have done this?

I've been at the community centre
all day.

Handsome car for a dreamy man.

SHE PURRS

How about a donation for my bucket?

I've been at the...
..community centre... ..all day.

All day.

Mwah!

I suppose you've been at
the community centre all day.

Is that where I am?

All day I've been at... Don't tell
me. The community centre?

You are a good detective.

You never let them
out of your sight? No, ma'am.

There was no instance where you were
otherwise occupied?

No, ma'am.

You're saying, under caution,

that you've had no dealings with
a drug-dealer known as The Dean?

I'm saying that if I were a clever
and ambitious policewoman

who just caught a major criminal

that the Met Police have been
chasing for years,

I wouldn't question how it happened.

I'd take the win.

MUSIC: Chain Gang
by Jackie Wilson & Count Basie

# Don't you know that's
the sound of the men

# They're working on the chain gang

# Oh, Lord

# The sound of the men,
they're working on the chain gang

# All day long they're singin'

# Hooh! Aah!

# Hooh! Aah!

# Hooh! Aah!

# Hooh! Aah!

# Well, don't you know
the sound of the men

# They're working on the chain gang

# Can't you hear them?
They're up there working

# They're working
on the chain gang... #

Are you all right?

I need help, Ruth.

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

How'd it go?

It worked.

And you're safe?
Are you OK?

I'm glad.

Now I want you to leave.

Huh?
I'm not mad, OK? No, I'm past that.

It's just you can't live here
any more, you're too dangerous.

There's no more danger.
No, you say that,

but it will happen again.
It always does.

I'm trying to be a better person,
Margie, I really am.

I know I've said that before
many times,

and I was handing you a line,

but this time I'm serious.

I want to be here.

I love you. I love my grandkids.

And we love you, and that's why
I would like you to go.

I don't... I don't follow.

Well, in a month's time,
in a year's time,

you are going to do something
to hurt us.

You're going to wind up back inside
or let us down some other way,

and you are going to
break my kids' hearts!

I promise I won't.
You won't be doing it intentionally.

It's not your fault, Frank,
it's who you are.

Fucking up is in your DNA,

and when you do that,
you cause a lot of pain,

so I need you to leave.

You say you don't want to
break your kids' hearts,

but the kids want me here.

Tom will hate you
for sending me away.

He will hate you.

Probably.

But I would rather that he was just
a bit sad now than devastated later.

Here's your cut.

And, erm...here's the line.

It's a good chunk of change
you've got there.

Enough to help you start again.

What you going to do?

Ben and I are going to move
to Weston-super-Mare.

Going to open a food place
down there.

Is that you, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, good luck.

You too.

You know, you're welcome to see your
grandchildren whenever you want,

but, erm...just so you know...

We've spoken to a lawyer...

..and we're suing you
for wrongful dismissal,

breach of contract,
and workplace bullying,

and we are going to take you
for every penny you have.

But don't take it personal, Dad, OK?

It's just business.

APPLAUSE

I, Diane Pemberley,

do solemnly swear
to serve Her Majesty the Queen

in the role of
police community support officer.

Sir, I've been working here
for 11 years,

so either you make me a partner,

or I walk out that door,
and I ain't coming back.

Why did you do that?

You can't jump out of a plane
without jumping out of a plane.

What's that mean?

Goodbye, Spencer.

Excuse me.

I'm middle-aged, divorced,
and unemployed.

But I think you're terrific,

and I wondered if you'd like
to grab a bite to eat sometime.

Well, I could eat now.

Then shall we?

So how long have you been divorced?
About 18 months.

Oh, me, three years.
Really?

My wife said that living with me
was like being trapped down a well.

SHE LAUGHS

My husband said that I'm as boring
as a Russian novel. Really?

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

What happened? Why are you leaving?

Did you and Mum have an argument?
Is she making you leave?

No. Your mum begged me to stay.

You said you wouldn't abandon us.
You promised.

You can't trust what I say, kid.

I'm no good.

Hi. I'm Gabby.

ALL: Hello, Gabby.

I'm a drug addict, and an alcoholic,

and I have anger management issues,
so...I'm a real mess.

I realised I need help.

An hour ago, I had a bag of cocaine
underneath my nose,

but I flushed it down the toilet,

and I can't afford
to keep doing that.

I mean, people bang on about
the cost of booze and cigarettes,

but the cost of cocaine
is scandalous!

Do you know how much a rock costs?
LAUGHTER

Course you do!

Refreshments and light snacks are
available at the rear of the train.

Do you want a sandwich or something?
No, I'm good.

Could I have a ham
and cheese sandwich, please?

Toasted?
Erm...no, thank you.

Any ketchup or mayonnaise?

Erm...

Mustard, please.
No mustard. Ketchup or mayonnaise?

TILL BEEPS

£2.80.

MUSIC: Knocked Up
by Kings Of Leon

# People call us renegades
cos we like living crazy

# We like taking on the town
cos people's getting lazy... #

You can't park here
unless you have a disability.

I do.
My girlfriend's a crippling bore.

Oh, charming!
What is that? Just make-up? Yes!

Oi! Stop!

# But I love her like no other

# And the doc, he say he don't know

# Where we're gonna go

# I'm a ghost
and I don't think if I know

# Where we're gonna go

# Where we're gonna go

# People call us renegades

# Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

# We like taking on this town

# Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

# And her daddy,
he say he don't know

# Where we're gonna go

# I'm a ghost and
I don't think I quite know

# Where we're gonna go

# Where we're gonna go

# Where we're gonna go

# Where we're gonna go. #