Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,465 --> 00:00:34,966
What are you doin'?
2
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:36,901
I'm sittin' over here today.
3
00:00:36,969 --> 00:00:38,002
Why?
4
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:39,470
I don't know.
I never sit here.
5
00:00:39,538 --> 00:00:41,372
It's a new perspective.
6
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,075
Whatever.
7
00:01:00,392 --> 00:01:03,928
OK, enough. Could you
just come sit over here?
8
00:01:03,996 --> 00:01:06,630
I want to stay here.
I like it.
9
00:01:06,698 --> 00:01:08,799
♪ Do-do-do-do-
do-do-dai ♪
10
00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:10,969
I got a new seat.
11
00:01:11,036 --> 00:01:12,603
♪ Da-da-ba-da-ba-da ♪
12
00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:15,439
OK, fine.
13
00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:16,540
Ahem.
14
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,949
Ah, this is nice.
15
00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:30,021
You can be so petty sometimes.
16
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:52,343
Oh, my God,
could it be any hotter?
17
00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:55,113
Brutal. Come here, this
helps a little, come here.
18
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:03,487
So, how was your day?
19
00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:05,156
It was good.
How was yours?
20
00:02:05,224 --> 00:02:07,158
It was good.
21
00:02:07,226 --> 00:02:09,894
Ooh, "zesty parmesan."
When did you get that?
22
00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:11,562
Last time I went shopping.
23
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,364
I also got those
vegetable potstickers.
24
00:02:13,432 --> 00:02:14,999
Do you like those?
25
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,600
Mmm, not so much.
26
00:02:16,668 --> 00:02:18,136
Oh.
27
00:02:18,203 --> 00:02:20,338
OK, I think I'm getting
freezer burn.
28
00:02:22,908 --> 00:02:25,076
Honey, tell me,
29
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:27,611
do I have the word
"pushover" on my forehead?
30
00:02:29,048 --> 00:02:32,783
No. But you do have
some kind of sauce.
31
00:02:32,851 --> 00:02:34,819
You're not gonna believe this.
32
00:02:34,886 --> 00:02:37,255
This afternoon, I was at
that cute little spot
33
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,824
where I like to throw bread
crumbs to the birds.
34
00:02:39,891 --> 00:02:40,791
Petland?
35
00:02:40,859 --> 00:02:41,926
Right.
36
00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:44,028
So, right next door
at the thrift shop,
37
00:02:44,096 --> 00:02:45,930
I saw this beautiful armoire
38
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,498
which would be
perfect for my room,
39
00:02:47,566 --> 00:02:48,599
so I bought it.
40
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,768
Oh, good. Maybe now you
can unroll your suits
41
00:02:50,836 --> 00:02:51,902
and hang 'em up.
42
00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:52,971
Not so fast.
43
00:02:53,038 --> 00:02:55,273
This is where the story
takes an ugly turn.
44
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,075
After we agreed on the price,
45
00:02:57,142 --> 00:02:58,977
he drops a delivery
charge on me.
46
00:02:59,044 --> 00:03:02,347
15 bananas!
That's a lot of clams.
47
00:03:02,414 --> 00:03:04,349
Dad, that's nothing.
Just pay it.
48
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,384
Oh, I'm not gonna do that.
49
00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,152
The deal was made
and he reneged!
50
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:09,387
I mean, what am I?
51
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,889
A sap, a sucker,
a butter-and-egg man?
52
00:03:13,725 --> 00:03:15,626
Douglas, what are the
chances I could borrow
53
00:03:15,694 --> 00:03:17,261
your delivery truck
tomorrow, huh?
54
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:20,198
Mmm, I'm thinking somewhere
in the zero range.
55
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:22,766
Uh-huh. Wednesday,
then?
56
00:03:22,834 --> 00:03:24,602
Arthur, let me explain
something to you.
57
00:03:24,669 --> 00:03:25,970
The truck doesn't belong to me,
58
00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:28,172
it belongs to the
International Parcel Service.
59
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,475
That's why you couldn't borrow
it for your paper route,
60
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,477
and that's why you can't
borrow it for this.
61
00:03:32,544 --> 00:03:34,445
Dad, look, here's $15.
62
00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:36,981
Just have them
deliver it. Please.
63
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,183
Oh, that would be easy,
wouldn't it?
64
00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:42,086
Yes. Easy.
Easy is good.
65
00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:44,688
Sorry, sweetheart,
but if I took your money
66
00:03:44,756 --> 00:03:47,558
I would never be able to
face the man in the mirror.
67
00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:52,330
The scary thing is,
68
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,499
he's not talking about himself.
69
00:03:56,268 --> 00:03:57,601
♪ Just a little bit ♪
70
00:03:57,669 --> 00:03:59,837
♪ r-e-s-p-e-c-t ♪
71
00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:01,939
♪ Find out what
we're gonna be ♪
72
00:04:02,007 --> 00:04:05,276
♪ R-e-s-b-b-b-b,
everybody's in my tree ♪
73
00:04:05,344 --> 00:04:06,677
♪ Sock it to me,
sock it to me ♪
74
00:04:06,745 --> 00:04:08,112
♪ sock it to me,
sock it to me ♪
75
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,880
♪ a little respect
76
00:04:09,948 --> 00:04:12,116
♪ whoa, babe,
a little respect ♪
77
00:04:12,184 --> 00:04:13,451
♪ just a little bit ♪
78
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:14,552
♪ talking 'bout ♪
79
00:04:14,619 --> 00:04:15,786
♪ just a little bit ♪
80
00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:17,121
♪ keep on tryin' ♪
81
00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:18,722
♪ just a little bit ♪
82
00:04:24,196 --> 00:04:25,629
Give us a break, will you?
83
00:04:25,697 --> 00:04:28,132
We only got one good
hip between us!
84
00:04:30,502 --> 00:04:31,735
Lift with your legs.
85
00:04:31,803 --> 00:04:34,439
Oh, don't tell me how to lift.
86
00:04:47,919 --> 00:04:50,588
Well, it seems as though
fate took a hand, huh?
87
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:52,656
Yeah.
88
00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:54,392
It would've been simpler
if you agreed
89
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,094
to move my armoire
in the first place,
90
00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:58,629
but it's a good lesson
for next time.
91
00:04:58,697 --> 00:05:00,598
Cookie?
92
00:05:00,665 --> 00:05:01,932
Don't mind if I do.
93
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,335
Mickey, I told you to
stop opening packages.
94
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:07,572
Oh, did ya? This
hearing aid is crap.
95
00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:11,242
I heard "stop
making sausages."
96
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,977
And why would I say that?
97
00:05:14,913 --> 00:05:16,080
Heffernan!
98
00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:17,415
What the hell is going on?
99
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,916
I'm getting calls
left and right
100
00:05:18,984 --> 00:05:20,784
from customers
waiting for drop-offs.
101
00:05:20,852 --> 00:05:22,620
What's that?
That Howard stern fella?
102
00:05:22,687 --> 00:05:25,323
It's Howard stern. He's
talking directly to me.
103
00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:27,091
I'm sorry supervisor O'Boyle,
104
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,360
see, I got caught up in a
little unexpected delay.
105
00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:30,461
Delay?
106
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:31,929
Yeah, the thing
is I... I...
107
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:34,132
i... I... I... I don't give
a flying crap.
108
00:05:34,199 --> 00:05:35,766
Just unplug your head
from your butt
109
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,067
and get the route done.
110
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,270
Absolutely, sir. I'm
gonna be... Arthur!
111
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,205
How dare you talk
to that man like that.
112
00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:42,206
Arthur.
113
00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:43,541
Who is this?
114
00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:45,809
This is your worst
nightmare, friend.
115
00:05:45,877 --> 00:05:47,811
I was in the U.S. army,
33rd brigade,
116
00:05:47,879 --> 00:05:49,580
and I'm telling you
to step off.
117
00:05:49,648 --> 00:05:50,648
Yeah?
118
00:05:50,715 --> 00:05:52,783
Well, I was
in the 42nd brigade.
119
00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:54,585
42nd, huh?
120
00:05:54,653 --> 00:05:55,886
Pretty tough bunch.
121
00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,087
You're on your own here.
122
00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:59,223
Oh, what a wuss.
123
00:05:59,291 --> 00:06:00,891
Shut up, old man.
124
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,567
Oh, you are home.
125
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:10,715
What are you doing in here?
126
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,170
I...I can't go
in that house.
127
00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:13,804
If I... if I'm in the same
building with him,
128
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:15,406
I'll... I'll do something.
129
00:06:15,474 --> 00:06:17,741
Something unholy involving
him and that armoire.
130
00:06:17,809 --> 00:06:18,909
Doug, just relax.
131
00:06:18,977 --> 00:06:20,511
What happened with
your boss today?
132
00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:22,513
He reamed me out in front
of the entire office!
133
00:06:22,581 --> 00:06:23,614
And then he assigned me
134
00:06:23,682 --> 00:06:25,316
to package-sorting duty
for a week.
135
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:27,624
Package sorting. He might as
well have thrown a wig on me
136
00:06:27,686 --> 00:06:28,952
and called me Sally.
137
00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,721
All right, Doug, listen,
I will go downstairs,
138
00:06:30,789 --> 00:06:33,109
and I will talk to my dad. I'll
just tell him he's gotta...
139
00:06:33,124 --> 00:06:35,092
gotta what? What? What?
Stop being a lunatic?
140
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,760
I will start there, yes.
141
00:06:36,828 --> 00:06:39,697
Listen, honey, I'm gonna
ask you a question here,
142
00:06:39,764 --> 00:06:42,400
and I don't want you to
take this the wrong way.
143
00:06:42,467 --> 00:06:45,269
Does anyone else
know he's here?
144
00:06:45,337 --> 00:06:47,938
Stop. Come on, it just
seems worse than it is
145
00:06:48,006 --> 00:06:50,174
because it's, like,
100 degrees in here
146
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,776
and you've been breathing in
a lot of paint thinner.
147
00:06:52,844 --> 00:06:54,378
Now, let's just go inside
148
00:06:54,446 --> 00:06:57,715
and take a nice cool shower.
149
00:06:57,782 --> 00:06:59,383
Mmm, keep talkin'.
150
00:07:00,352 --> 00:07:02,653
I'll let you videotape it.
151
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:05,856
Oh, sorry, darling, I didn't
realize you were... you were home.
152
00:07:05,924 --> 00:07:07,225
Hi, daddy.
153
00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:09,694
Heard you and Doug had a
little adventure today.
154
00:07:09,761 --> 00:07:12,162
Indeed we did. And on
that note, Douglas,
155
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:14,865
there's something
that needs to be said.
156
00:07:16,167 --> 00:07:18,068
I'm listening.
157
00:07:18,136 --> 00:07:20,904
You put a nasty little
Nick in my armoire.
158
00:07:22,674 --> 00:07:24,242
That's what needs to be said?
159
00:07:24,309 --> 00:07:26,510
OK, you know what? Why don't
you come inside, dad?
160
00:07:26,578 --> 00:07:29,213
I'll make you a nice
baked apple. Come on.
161
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:30,581
I realize you were distracted
162
00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:32,850
by your boss' hurtful
comments about your weight,
163
00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:36,220
but you might be a little bit
more careful in the future.
164
00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:39,490
Your customers may not
be as forgiving as I am.
165
00:07:39,558 --> 00:07:42,526
Baked apple, right this way.
166
00:07:42,594 --> 00:07:44,262
Arthur, do... do you
understand at all
167
00:07:44,329 --> 00:07:45,796
that you almost got me canned?
168
00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:47,197
You know, it's bad enough
169
00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:48,699
that you trounce
all over my home,
170
00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:50,334
do you have to trounce
on my job, too?
171
00:07:50,402 --> 00:07:52,002
That's too much trouncing.
172
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:54,772
Oh, you think this living
arrangement is easy for me?
173
00:07:54,839 --> 00:07:57,007
You think I like walking
around here on eggshells?
174
00:07:57,075 --> 00:07:59,943
Eggshells? Is that what we've been
getting here for the past few...
175
00:08:00,011 --> 00:08:01,279
eggshells?
You on eggshells?
176
00:08:01,346 --> 00:08:04,582
Well, thank you
for holding back!
177
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,151
All right, enough.
The both of you.
178
00:08:07,218 --> 00:08:08,786
Now, let's all just go inside,
179
00:08:08,853 --> 00:08:10,588
I will make you a baked apple,
180
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,922
I will take a shower...
181
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:15,293
reverse that. Let's
just all go inside.
182
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,462
Douglas, obviously my living
here is very unpleasant for you.
183
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:20,464
Perhaps I should make
some other arrangements.
184
00:08:20,532 --> 00:08:21,565
Dad, stop it.
185
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:23,200
No, no, no, no. I'm interested.
Go on.
186
00:08:23,268 --> 00:08:25,536
Where would you go? Where would you go?
Come on, come on.
187
00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:27,137
Where would you go?
I have options.
188
00:08:27,205 --> 00:08:28,606
Options? Oh, so
there are several
189
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,741
mental institutions wooing you?
190
00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:33,977
So, I'm just a crazy old man
who can't hack it on my own,
191
00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:35,746
is that what you think?
192
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,348
Yes.
193
00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:39,950
That's not stopping.
194
00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:41,952
Well, let me tell you
something, Douglas.
195
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,455
I've been on my own
since I was 17.
196
00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:46,223
I could take care
of myself then,
197
00:08:46,291 --> 00:08:48,626
and I can take care
of myself now.
198
00:08:49,894 --> 00:08:52,162
Where'd that door go?
199
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:53,431
It's over here, dad.
200
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:56,033
Fine. I'm gonna
get my things.
201
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,501
I'll be staying at Mickey's
202
00:08:57,569 --> 00:09:00,404
until I can find a more
permanent situation!
203
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,273
Oh, my God!
204
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:04,709
God!
205
00:09:04,776 --> 00:09:07,545
Doug, was that
really necessary?
206
00:09:07,612 --> 00:09:09,012
What are you talkin' about?
207
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,715
Why did you have
to provoke him?
208
00:09:10,782 --> 00:09:12,583
Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm
the bad guy here, huh?
209
00:09:12,651 --> 00:09:13,951
He gets to do
whatever he wants.
210
00:09:14,018 --> 00:09:15,453
I say one little comment
211
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,221
about how he should be
in a mental institution,
212
00:09:17,288 --> 00:09:19,189
and I'm the big provoker.
213
00:09:19,991 --> 00:09:21,392
Yes.
214
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,327
Doug, come on, you know him,
you know the way he is.
215
00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:25,896
He's like a 75-year-old
2-year-old.
216
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:28,298
You can't let him pull you in.
217
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,000
You just gotta nod and smile
218
00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:32,035
and hang his drawings
up on the refrigerator.
219
00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:33,771
Have you seen his
drawings, by the way?
220
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,573
Scary stuff.
221
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,675
Come on, sweetie, could
you just go downstairs
222
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:38,876
and say you're sorry?
223
00:09:38,943 --> 00:09:40,010
No.
Doug.
224
00:09:40,078 --> 00:09:41,846
Carrie, no, I'm tired
of it, all right?
225
00:09:41,913 --> 00:09:44,081
That basement was my TV room,
my fort, you know?
226
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,684
And I gave it up to him 'cause
he didn't have a place to live.
227
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,151
And if he can't
appreciate that,
228
00:09:48,219 --> 00:09:49,887
well, you know what?
Let him move out.
229
00:09:49,954 --> 00:09:52,356
Doug, what do you
want me to say?
230
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:53,591
That he's crazy?
231
00:09:53,658 --> 00:09:55,259
That he makes you crazy?
232
00:09:55,326 --> 00:09:57,428
That he's a strain
on our marriage?
233
00:09:57,496 --> 00:09:59,196
I admit all of that.
234
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:01,164
Now, go beg him to stay.
235
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,503
All right, that's it.
236
00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,905
I've taken only what
I came here with
237
00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:09,807
and some hand towels.
238
00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:12,943
A-Arthur?
239
00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:14,044
Yes?
240
00:10:14,579 --> 00:10:15,880
Look,
241
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:18,215
I'm sorry.
242
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:21,719
I like having you here,
243
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,388
and we want you to stay.
244
00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:26,791
Oh, I see Dr. Jekyll
has returned.
245
00:10:27,726 --> 00:10:28,926
Frankly, Douglas,
246
00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:31,529
your mood swings
are frightening.
247
00:10:33,398 --> 00:10:35,332
Case in point.
Goodbye.
248
00:10:37,335 --> 00:10:39,236
I'll send for my armoire!
249
00:10:49,113 --> 00:10:50,047
Ahh.
250
00:10:50,114 --> 00:10:51,449
That's nice.
251
00:10:51,516 --> 00:10:52,716
Sweet.
252
00:10:52,784 --> 00:10:54,718
Comin' back to papa.
253
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,789
Oh, yeah, feels good.
254
00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:01,659
Sassy.
255
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,227
Bring it, baby.
256
00:11:04,295 --> 00:11:06,864
Uh, guys, why is the fan
stopping short of me?
257
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:11,034
'Cause we angled it that way.
258
00:11:11,102 --> 00:11:12,937
That's... that's
not fair.
259
00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:15,072
Hey, there's only enough
oscillation for 3 guys.
260
00:11:15,139 --> 00:11:16,440
Just have another Popsicle.
261
00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:18,108
I've had 6.
262
00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:20,611
You know, y'all keep
treating me this way,
263
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,013
I could very well
leave the group.
264
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:28,018
I'm not kidding. There
are some guys at work
265
00:11:28,086 --> 00:11:30,554
that have shown some
serious interest in me.
266
00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:35,125
I'm gonna let that sink in...
267
00:11:35,193 --> 00:11:37,895
While I get another Popsicle.
268
00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:41,431
Ahem.
269
00:11:42,066 --> 00:11:43,467
Hello?
270
00:11:43,535 --> 00:11:45,435
Oh, hi, Arthur.
271
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:47,505
No, Carrie's not here.
272
00:11:47,572 --> 00:11:49,507
It's just me and the guys.
273
00:11:50,842 --> 00:11:52,543
Fine. Hold on.
274
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,044
He says he wants
to talk to anyone
275
00:11:54,112 --> 00:11:56,647
whose name doesn't
rhyme with "uglas."
276
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,282
I'll take it.
277
00:12:00,752 --> 00:12:01,852
Hello?
278
00:12:03,121 --> 00:12:04,187
Hang on.
279
00:12:04,255 --> 00:12:06,724
He wants me to ask you
how you're doing.
280
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,826
I'm fine.
281
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,160
He's fine.
282
00:12:11,863 --> 00:12:14,264
He says, "I don't care.
Ha, ha, ha."
283
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,835
Is that it?
284
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,236
Oh, yeah?
285
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,005
Oh, good for you.
286
00:12:21,072 --> 00:12:22,540
Yeah, sure.
287
00:12:22,607 --> 00:12:24,074
All right, take it easy.
288
00:12:24,142 --> 00:12:25,242
What?
289
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,578
He moved into his own
apartment yesterday.
290
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:28,779
Are you kidding me?
No.
291
00:12:28,847 --> 00:12:30,648
He' s having a housewarming
party tomorrow
292
00:12:30,715 --> 00:12:33,083
and Carrie's invited,
plus a guest.
293
00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:37,688
I c-can't believe it.
He's actually doing this.
294
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:39,924
We figured he'd be back
here in a couple days,
295
00:12:39,991 --> 00:12:41,224
but he actually moved out.
296
00:12:41,292 --> 00:12:42,259
He's really gone.
297
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:45,863
Oh, I owe you one, big guy.
298
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,898
All right, careful.
Careful...
299
00:12:47,966 --> 00:12:49,499
My finger's getting crushed.
300
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,101
Hey. It's just
a finger, OK?
301
00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:52,803
This is an entire
entertainment system,
302
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:54,838
so suck it up.
303
00:12:54,906 --> 00:12:56,306
Can we get some room over here?
304
00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:57,808
You're not even
holding any of it.
305
00:12:57,876 --> 00:12:59,309
I'm guiding it.
306
00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:01,445
Hey. You ladies wanna
settle that, huh?
307
00:13:01,512 --> 00:13:02,947
Spence's nose is
starting to bleed.
308
00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:04,247
Thank you.
309
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:06,684
Doug?
310
00:13:06,751 --> 00:13:07,751
Hi, honey.
Hi, Carr'.
311
00:13:07,819 --> 00:13:08,752
My finger.
312
00:13:09,654 --> 00:13:10,921
What's going on?
313
00:13:10,989 --> 00:13:12,723
Why are you moving
the TV back downstairs?
314
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:15,092
Oh, get ready for
some great news.
315
00:13:15,159 --> 00:13:16,627
Your dad found
his own apartment.
316
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:17,728
What?
317
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,463
Yeah, he called
about a half hour ago.
318
00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:21,665
Boy, the old fella sure
showed us a thing or 2, huh?
319
00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:23,433
OK, next 2 steps, let's go.
320
00:13:23,501 --> 00:13:24,935
Wait a minute.
What?
321
00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:27,404
I don't know what stupid
thing my father's up to,
322
00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:29,073
but he can't live on his own!
323
00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:30,340
You said that yourself!
324
00:13:30,408 --> 00:13:32,843
Yeah, but I was wrong.
Give the guy some credit.
325
00:13:32,911 --> 00:13:35,112
OK, this is wreaking havoc
326
00:13:35,179 --> 00:13:37,648
with my one descended
testicle here.
327
00:13:40,351 --> 00:13:42,552
God, he's probably
sitting in a tiny room
328
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:45,122
all by himself, with roaches,
329
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:46,857
cooking on a hot plate,
330
00:13:46,925 --> 00:13:48,759
listening to his
crappy little radio...
331
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:51,294
Hey, it's a nice radio, hon'.
332
00:13:51,362 --> 00:13:53,263
How could I even let him leave?
333
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:54,765
I'm his daughter.
334
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,867
I'm supposed to be
taking care of him.
335
00:13:56,935 --> 00:13:59,136
C-come on, honey,
he's gonna be fine.
336
00:13:59,203 --> 00:14:00,537
I love you.
337
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,075
What are we doing here?
Up or down?
338
00:14:05,143 --> 00:14:06,476
I don't know.
339
00:14:06,544 --> 00:14:09,279
Deke, go see what she's
doing in the kitchen, huh?
340
00:14:14,385 --> 00:14:15,819
How you doing?
341
00:14:18,356 --> 00:14:19,589
She's sitting at the table.
342
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:21,025
And?
343
00:14:21,092 --> 00:14:22,826
Crying.
But not hard.
344
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:26,429
Back up, back up.
345
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:32,002
Honey, it's a housewarming.
346
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:33,771
I still say we should've
brought something.
347
00:14:33,838 --> 00:14:36,339
If not a plant, at least a pie.
348
00:14:36,407 --> 00:14:38,942
Doug, we are not going
for a housewarming.
349
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:41,478
We are going there to tell
him, without fighting,
350
00:14:41,546 --> 00:14:42,746
that he can't live like this
351
00:14:42,814 --> 00:14:44,347
and he has to come home.
352
00:14:44,415 --> 00:14:46,150
Fine.
353
00:14:46,217 --> 00:14:48,485
I can't see
how a pie would hurt.
354
00:14:50,755 --> 00:14:51,955
Welcome!
355
00:14:54,325 --> 00:14:55,793
Hey, Arthur.
356
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:59,229
So, darling, what do you think?
357
00:15:00,631 --> 00:15:02,733
Dad, I... I want you
to come home.
358
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:05,002
You can't live like this.
359
00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:08,939
Honey, come on,
there's an omelet bar.
360
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,844
I gotta tell you,
361
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:17,547
the man throws a great party.
362
00:15:17,615 --> 00:15:20,884
I had no idea he could
play the piano like that.
363
00:15:20,952 --> 00:15:22,820
Mmm-hmm.
364
00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:25,455
Come on, honey, cheer up. This
is a great situation for him.
365
00:15:25,523 --> 00:15:26,656
He was living in a basement,
366
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:27,691
now he's got a
367
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:29,492
deluxe apartment in the
368
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,196
♪ sky 7
369
00:15:32,263 --> 00:15:34,798
I don't understand why
you're not happy for him.
370
00:15:34,866 --> 00:15:38,168
I am. I just...
I feel guilty.
371
00:15:38,236 --> 00:15:39,770
About what?
372
00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:41,671
Well, he was with us
for a year,
373
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,842
and I had a real chance to get
closer to him and I didn't.
374
00:15:44,909 --> 00:15:46,043
I just blew him off.
375
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,044
No.
376
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,446
Doug, there are some days
377
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:52,649
that all I said to him
was, "good morning."
378
00:15:52,717 --> 00:15:54,184
And not even
a full "good morning."
379
00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:56,253
It was more like
a "g'morning."
380
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,722
I couldn't even
give him the "ood."
381
00:16:02,093 --> 00:16:03,994
Do you know that there
was one day last week
382
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:06,529
that I actually hid from him?
383
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:08,132
Hey, who hasn't?
384
00:16:10,334 --> 00:16:11,835
Now, come on,
this is good, right?
385
00:16:11,903 --> 00:16:13,670
I mean, we got our life back.
386
00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:15,038
Oh, I know.
387
00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:17,141
It's good, I guess.
388
00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:19,276
Hey, I know what'll put
a smile on your face.
389
00:16:19,343 --> 00:16:21,779
How about I go splash those
people at that bus stop.
390
00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:26,784
Well, if you're gonna do it,
you're gonna have to speed up.
391
00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:32,289
All I'm saying is
392
00:16:32,356 --> 00:16:34,992
in Europe, women's
breasts are no big deal.
393
00:16:35,059 --> 00:16:37,294
They lie topless
on the beach all day,
394
00:16:37,361 --> 00:16:39,296
and men don't even care.
395
00:16:39,363 --> 00:16:42,065
You ever stop to think that European
guys just pretend not to care
396
00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:44,668
so the women will
take their tops off?
397
00:16:44,735 --> 00:16:45,669
Yeah.
398
00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:47,204
This way they get to sip coffee
399
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:49,639
and stare at boobies
all day long.
400
00:16:50,241 --> 00:16:52,176
Boobies?
401
00:16:52,243 --> 00:16:54,711
That's interesting. You think
that would work on women here?
402
00:16:54,779 --> 00:16:56,113
Nah, it would take
too many years
403
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,548
to fool women into thinking
that we don't care.
404
00:16:58,616 --> 00:17:01,451
Although, it would be something
nice to do for future generations.
405
00:17:01,519 --> 00:17:02,719
Yeah.
406
00:17:02,787 --> 00:17:05,823
I'd like my son to grow up
in that kind of world.
407
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:08,192
Well, I'm out of here.
408
00:17:08,259 --> 00:17:09,693
I gotta go back
to the firehouse.
409
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,394
Yeah, I gotta roll, too.
410
00:17:11,462 --> 00:17:13,197
Oh, uh, one of you
give me a ride?
411
00:17:13,264 --> 00:17:16,166
Yeah, sure, you can
hop in the trunk.
412
00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:17,634
Remember Friday night,
413
00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:19,602
uh, Mets-Braves,
right here, OK?
414
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:22,272
Oh, hey, and we're breaking in the
George foreman healthy grill,
415
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:23,740
so bring your chopped meat.
416
00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:36,053
Douglas?
417
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,721
Hey, Arthur.
What brings you by?
418
00:17:37,788 --> 00:17:39,223
Uh, in my haste to pack,
419
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,825
I inadvertently took
a 3-pronged adapter.
420
00:17:41,893 --> 00:17:43,593
I believe this is yours.
421
00:17:43,661 --> 00:17:45,562
We were worried.
Thank you.
422
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:46,830
Hey, can I get you a beer?
423
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:49,466
Sure. That's what
the air bags are for.
424
00:17:53,104 --> 00:17:55,739
By the way, I'm glad
you could make it over
425
00:17:55,806 --> 00:17:57,875
to my soiree the other night.
426
00:17:57,942 --> 00:18:00,177
Well, thanks for the invite.
I had a great time.
427
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,712
Ah, you really knocked 'em
dead with the charades.
428
00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:04,014
Of course, you, uh, lucked out
429
00:18:04,082 --> 00:18:07,017
with the
"Jake and the fatman."
430
00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:08,585
Yeah, I really
caught a break, huh?
431
00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:09,686
Yeah.
432
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,290
Yeah.
433
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,193
The old room.
434
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,562
This really takes me back.
435
00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:22,465
So, how are you and Carrie
doing since I left?
436
00:18:22,533 --> 00:18:23,934
Great.
We're doing fine.
437
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:26,636
You sure? 'Cause sometimes
someone moves out,
438
00:18:26,704 --> 00:18:28,105
and everything
gets out of whack.
439
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,408
Trust me,
everything's in whack.
440
00:18:31,475 --> 00:18:32,609
Good.
441
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:35,779
'Cause if my leaving
caused any problems,
442
00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:37,247
I'd move right back in.
443
00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:43,220
Hey, you'd have
to kill me first.
444
00:18:45,523 --> 00:18:47,257
Ah, no, seriously, Arthur,
445
00:18:47,325 --> 00:18:48,992
I'm, you know, I'm
really happy for you.
446
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:50,260
You found your own apartment
447
00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:52,762
and, uh, I hope you enjoy it.
448
00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:54,998
Speaking of the apartment,
449
00:18:55,066 --> 00:18:58,568
any chance you could lend me
$1,700 a month indefinitely?
450
00:19:00,438 --> 00:19:01,838
What?
451
00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:04,408
I may have over-leveraged
myself a bit
452
00:19:04,475 --> 00:19:05,909
in getting that place.
453
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,710
What are you saying?
You can't afford it?
454
00:19:07,778 --> 00:19:10,747
Mmm, not at
the present time, no.
455
00:19:10,815 --> 00:19:12,449
Although, I have
an idea for something
456
00:19:12,516 --> 00:19:13,650
that could make millions,
457
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,819
if a lot of left-handed
people are willing
458
00:19:15,886 --> 00:19:18,255
to give me a weekend
of their time.
459
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:21,458
What is wrong with you?
460
00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:23,226
Why did you take a place
that you can't pay for?
461
00:19:23,294 --> 00:19:26,029
I wanted to prove that you were wrong.
That I could live on my own.
462
00:19:26,097 --> 00:19:27,530
But you couldn't.
463
00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:29,866
Only because I didn't
have the money.
464
00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:31,101
Well, that's a big part
465
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:33,136
of the "living
on your own" package.
466
00:19:33,204 --> 00:19:34,771
Fair enough.
467
00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:36,073
Now that we agree on that,
468
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:37,975
let's talk about
my moving back in.
469
00:19:38,042 --> 00:19:40,377
When will your truck
be available?
470
00:19:45,649 --> 00:19:46,816
Douglas?
471
00:19:48,552 --> 00:19:50,753
So, you want to move
back in, huh?
472
00:19:50,821 --> 00:19:52,922
That would be real convenient
for you, wouldn't it?
473
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:54,724
You leave for a few days,
474
00:19:54,792 --> 00:19:56,226
you bounce around the
outside world for a while
475
00:19:56,294 --> 00:19:59,162
like that bird who's
"cuckoo for cocoa puffs",
476
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:01,731
and then you just
waltz back in.
477
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:03,400
Well, you know what, Arthur?
478
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:05,168
Take my basement back.
479
00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:06,936
It's yours. You know what?
Fine, take it.
480
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,038
And while you're at it,
481
00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:09,639
why don't you take
the TV, too?
482
00:20:09,707 --> 00:20:11,674
And... and the fussballtable,
483
00:20:11,742 --> 00:20:13,343
and, uh, hey, the couch.
484
00:20:13,411 --> 00:20:14,978
It yours.
It's all yours.
485
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:18,882
Hey, take my mustard-stained
Jets blanket, huh?
486
00:20:18,949 --> 00:20:21,351
Oh, and... and my
baseball encyclopedia,
487
00:20:21,419 --> 00:20:24,654
oh, and my x-rated video
with the label,
488
00:20:24,722 --> 00:20:26,589
"bad news bears go to Japan",
489
00:20:26,657 --> 00:20:29,126
so Carrie won't notice it.
490
00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:30,494
Take it all, Arthur!
491
00:20:30,561 --> 00:20:31,995
Hey, what else can
I get for you?
492
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:33,263
Hey, do you want the flooring?
493
00:20:33,331 --> 00:20:34,664
'Cause I could rip up
the carpet.
494
00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:36,133
Come on, what else
can I give you?
495
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,901
How 'bout my kidneys?
Come on, I have 2.
496
00:20:37,968 --> 00:20:40,670
What the hell,
take 'em both, Arthur!
497
00:20:40,738 --> 00:20:42,939
God, why should I
have anything, right?
498
00:20:43,007 --> 00:20:44,908
All I do is
go to work every day
499
00:20:44,975 --> 00:20:46,643
and pay my mortgage on time.
500
00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:47,977
And when it's not on time,
501
00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:50,780
it's certainly within
the grace period!
502
00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:55,952
But I guess that means
nothing. Nothing!
503
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:57,254
And you know what?
That's fine.
504
00:20:57,321 --> 00:20:59,589
I'll just be a guy
going through life
505
00:20:59,657 --> 00:21:01,425
with no basement
506
00:21:01,492 --> 00:21:02,825
and no kidneys!
507
00:21:42,933 --> 00:21:45,402
OK, keep doing it.
You got it. You got it.
508
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,003
All right,
shimmy it up, will you?
509
00:21:47,071 --> 00:21:49,439
For God's sake,
lift with your legs.
35941
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof