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1
00:00:04,503 --> 00:00:09,503
Sync, corrected by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:12,504 --> 00:00:14,938
Oh, my God!
3
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,473
- Hi, Carr.
- Hi, Kelly.
4
00:00:16,507 --> 00:00:18,374
Is my husband floating around
here somewhere?
5
00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:20,276
Yeah, he's in the garage with Doug.
Come here, come here.
6
00:00:20,310 --> 00:00:21,977
Look at this.
7
00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:23,983
Can you believe this?
8
00:00:24,017 --> 00:00:27,008
Okay, it's an application for a
Greenbaum Smart Shopper card.
9
00:00:27,042 --> 00:00:28,557
No, not that. Look.
10
00:00:28,591 --> 00:00:31,171
You have to check a box
for your age.
11
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:33,720
The first group, right?
17 to 29. Okay.
12
00:00:33,754 --> 00:00:37,639
Next group: 30... to 54.
13
00:00:39,421 --> 00:00:44,710
Do you know what that means?
In 2 days, I'm going to be 54 years old.
14
00:00:44,787 --> 00:00:46,841
Shut up. You're not going to be 54.
You're going to be 30.
15
00:00:46,842 --> 00:00:47,842
Hello?
16
00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:51,792
Well, as far as Greenbaum's is
concerned, there's no difference.
17
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,878
Hi, darling.
I got a situation downstairs.
18
00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:59,962
I need some bleach, a Popsicle stick,
and several boxes of matches.
19
00:01:01,557 --> 00:01:04,438
Oh, Kelly. What
a delightful surprise.
20
00:01:05,814 --> 00:01:07,955
Hey, big daddy.
How are ya?
21
00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:10,631
Fine, now that I've seen you.
22
00:01:10,669 --> 00:01:13,310
Nothing like a cup of brown sugar
to sweeten my day.
23
00:01:14,852 --> 00:01:19,226
Hey, all this sexual tension
is making me a little uncomfortable.
24
00:01:19,234 --> 00:01:20,673
What's the matter with you?
25
00:01:20,708 --> 00:01:22,747
Oh, she's just bummed out
'cause it's her birthday.
26
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,684
- She thinks she's getting old.
- What?
27
00:01:24,856 --> 00:01:26,359
Aww... that's crazy.
28
00:01:26,393 --> 00:01:28,396
- Is it?
- Sure.
29
00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:31,307
- What, are you turning 24... 25?
- 30.
30
00:01:31,344 --> 00:01:33,450
Whoa! Ye god...
31
00:01:38,651 --> 00:01:40,651
I'm telling you, you're wrong.
32
00:01:40,852 --> 00:01:42,652
I'm not wrong.
It's his real name.
33
00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:46,353
Have you ever in your life
met anyone named Boyardee?
34
00:01:53,054 --> 00:01:54,738
Hey, Doug, did you
remember to order the
35
00:01:54,764 --> 00:01:56,775
Ultimate Fighting Championship
for Friday night?
36
00:01:56,851 --> 00:01:59,651
My friend, I am a
Platinum package subscriber.
37
00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:02,652
If it takes place
in a cage or a pit, I get it.
38
00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:04,653
That's my man.
You're taping it for me, right?
39
00:02:04,654 --> 00:02:06,454
- Yup.
- You're not gonna watch it with us?
40
00:02:06,455 --> 00:02:08,455
No, my mom's coming in
from St. Louis.
41
00:02:08,456 --> 00:02:10,556
I gotta pick her up
from the airport that night.
42
00:02:10,557 --> 00:02:13,357
So, she can watch
Ultimate Fighting with us.
43
00:02:13,358 --> 00:02:15,658
Hell, I met her. She could be in it.
44
00:02:17,559 --> 00:02:18,755
What?!
45
00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:22,952
- Hey, hey, that was not a mother joke.
- Yes, it was a mother joke.
46
00:02:22,953 --> 00:02:25,053
And I'd be careful,
because she could take you down.
47
00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:30,635
Man, this is going
to be sweet, huh?
48
00:02:30,669 --> 00:02:33,974
"Aaron the Python Yuspovich
goes for revenge
49
00:02:33,981 --> 00:02:37,155
"in his rematch against
Juan el Cobra Lopez,
50
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:40,927
"this Friday the 19th
on Pay-Per-View."
51
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,711
"This Friday the 19th."
52
00:02:45,746 --> 00:02:47,316
Oh, my God...
53
00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:48,452
What's the matter?
54
00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:50,958
I can't see the fight.
55
00:02:50,992 --> 00:02:53,263
The 19th is Carrie's birthday!
56
00:02:53,297 --> 00:02:54,466
So what?
57
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,538
You already made plans
to take her out somewhere?
58
00:02:56,575 --> 00:03:00,016
No, no, but I got to
do something with her.
59
00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:03,257
Can't you just explain
that we got the fight?
60
00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:04,663
That it's already paid for?
61
00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:09,440
And you wonder why your
marriage didn't work out.
62
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,670
What are you doing?
63
00:03:26,704 --> 00:03:30,775
Checking out how slow my skin
bounces back when I pull it.
64
00:03:32,549 --> 00:03:33,885
Compared to what?
65
00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,357
Compared to how fast it
used to bounce back.
66
00:03:36,391 --> 00:03:37,459
Did you ever do it before?
67
00:03:37,493 --> 00:03:39,530
No.
68
00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:41,568
Well, how do you know how fast
it bounced back before?
69
00:03:41,603 --> 00:03:45,939
You know what? You're right.
I should keep a log or something.
70
00:03:45,944 --> 00:03:48,745
- What has gotten into you?
- My birthday.
71
00:03:48,817 --> 00:03:50,584
- What about it?
- What about it?
72
00:03:50,619 --> 00:03:52,580
I'm going to be 30 years old.
73
00:03:52,606 --> 00:03:55,647
That's, like, the
girl-woman dividing line.
74
00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:59,248
Up till now, it's been,
"Oh, yeah, Carrie, she's a pistol!"
75
00:04:00,569 --> 00:04:04,540
Now it's going to be, "Oh, right,
Mrs. Heffernan. She's a handsome woman."
76
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:08,653
Who do you know who
uses the term "pistol"?
77
00:04:08,687 --> 00:04:12,055
- You know what I mean.
- Come on... mmm.
78
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,364
Doug... did you already make plans
for us to go out that night?
79
00:04:18,401 --> 00:04:22,170
Tch! Your birthday, what?
I'm not going to make plans?
80
00:04:24,244 --> 00:04:25,709
Why do you ask?
81
00:04:25,847 --> 00:04:28,050
Well, I just don't know how
much I feel like celebrating.
82
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:29,920
I mean, I'd almost rather...
83
00:04:29,955 --> 00:04:33,190
you know, just stay home,
read a book, take a bath.
84
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,267
Really?
85
00:04:38,302 --> 00:04:40,705
Am I... am I being
stupid? Just tell me
86
00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:43,109
I'm being stupid about this
whole getting-older business,
87
00:04:43,143 --> 00:04:45,746
and we will go out Friday night.
88
00:04:49,921 --> 00:04:52,722
- Doug?
- Yeah, yeah, of course you are.
89
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,828
I mean, this is crazy talk,
you know?
90
00:04:54,863 --> 00:04:57,565
30 is nothing.
91
00:04:58,001 --> 00:05:01,002
- Although it is halfway to 60.
- Oh, my God, it is!
92
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,407
Look, I know exactly
how you feel.
93
00:05:02,441 --> 00:05:04,878
I mean, remember
my 30th birthday?
94
00:05:04,912 --> 00:05:06,247
I was so depressed,
95
00:05:06,281 --> 00:05:10,750
all I wanted to do was stay home
and be alone with my thoughts.
96
00:05:11,389 --> 00:05:13,757
Didn't we go to that bar
where you got drunk,
97
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:16,225
and you jumped
against a Velcro wall?
98
00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:21,860
Outside was happy.
Inside... sorrow.
99
00:05:22,263 --> 00:05:23,662
I think you should
just stay home.
100
00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:30,364
You know, bathe, read, listen to a
little of that Lilith Fair stuff...
101
00:05:32,035 --> 00:05:34,502
- Thank you, honey. You're very sweet.
- Sure.
102
00:05:34,536 --> 00:05:37,070
So it's no problem canceling
the plans you already made?
103
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:41,805
No problem. I mean... the dinner
reservations, they're easily cancelable.
104
00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,675
Same with the limo.
105
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:47,276
The other couple, I'm sure
they'll understand.
106
00:05:47,311 --> 00:05:49,612
Oh, you already did all that?
107
00:05:49,646 --> 00:05:51,313
That is so sweet.
108
00:05:51,347 --> 00:05:52,314
What restaurant?
109
00:05:52,348 --> 00:05:53,181
Hmm?
110
00:05:55,117 --> 00:05:57,318
A very nice place.
Very nice place.
111
00:05:57,352 --> 00:06:00,554
That new place I told you
about, Marino's, right?
112
00:06:00,588 --> 00:06:01,488
Yeah.
113
00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:05,692
And... and
who's the couple...
114
00:06:05,726 --> 00:06:07,093
Deacon and Kelly?
115
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:10,696
Yes. We were going to
Deacon-and-Kelly it up. Whoo!
116
00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:12,097
But, uh, we can do that
all some other time,
117
00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:13,865
you know, when you don't have
this 30th-birthday cloud,
118
00:06:13,899 --> 00:06:16,167
you know, hanging
over your head, okay?
119
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:19,136
Okay. I'll just stay home.
120
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,704
Listen to some Jewel...
121
00:06:37,485 --> 00:06:39,285
You suck!
122
00:06:41,254 --> 00:06:43,121
Not me. You.
123
00:06:43,222 --> 00:06:45,622
I'm not the one who just screwed
with my wife's feelings.
124
00:06:45,623 --> 00:06:47,023
I know, I shouldn't have.
125
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,520
It's that stupid
Ultimate Fighting Championship.
126
00:06:50,956 --> 00:06:54,590
It was a selfish thing to do.
You are a selfish bastard!
127
00:06:55,325 --> 00:06:57,193
Not me. You.
128
00:06:57,227 --> 00:06:58,658
Would you stop that!
129
00:06:58,692 --> 00:06:59,658
Make me.
130
00:06:59,692 --> 00:07:00,993
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
131
00:07:01,027 --> 00:07:02,194
- No, you shut up!
- You shut up!
132
00:07:02,228 --> 00:07:03,595
You shut up... fatty!
133
00:07:05,164 --> 00:07:08,298
Okay, that's me. Yeah.
I'm the fat one. Okay.
134
00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:10,666
Hey, you are young
and... and beautiful,
135
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,501
and damn it, we're
going out Friday night
136
00:07:12,535 --> 00:07:14,436
and we're going to do everything
I said we're going to do,
137
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:17,338
and you're going to have the
best birthday of your life.
138
00:07:17,372 --> 00:07:20,039
And you have the springiest
skin I've ever seen!
139
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,336
What did you do in there?
140
00:07:30,445 --> 00:07:32,479
Oh, come on. You can't
be totally booked up.
141
00:07:32,514 --> 00:07:35,114
Not one table anywhere?
142
00:07:35,149 --> 00:07:37,416
You know what?
Perhaps my friend, uh...
143
00:07:37,451 --> 00:07:41,553
Mr. Jackson could convince
you to take another look.
144
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:46,389
You can't speak to him. He's
the guy on the $20 bill. Yeah...
145
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,057
- Honey?
- Yeah, yeah, can you hold on a second?
146
00:07:48,192 --> 00:07:49,292
Yeah?
147
00:07:49,326 --> 00:07:51,160
For tomorrow night,
what do you think?
148
00:07:51,194 --> 00:07:52,190
I like the slutty one.
149
00:07:52,228 --> 00:07:53,596
- Yeah, me, too.
- Okay.
150
00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:54,997
It's going to be great!
151
00:07:55,032 --> 00:07:57,099
Come on, it's
my wife's birthday.
152
00:07:57,133 --> 00:08:00,734
You got to have
a table. Please!
153
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,836
Yes, that's fine.
154
00:08:02,871 --> 00:08:04,638
Oh, okay. Thank you.
The name's Heffernan.
155
00:08:04,672 --> 00:08:05,905
Yup, I'll see you
tomorrow night.
156
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,606
All right,
this is good. Okay,
157
00:08:07,641 --> 00:08:10,408
table at Marino's, check.
158
00:08:10,443 --> 00:08:11,943
Limo, check.
159
00:08:11,977 --> 00:08:13,611
Gift, got it.
160
00:08:13,645 --> 00:08:16,313
Card, got to get
that today. Okay...
161
00:08:16,347 --> 00:08:17,314
Hey, man, ready to go?
162
00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:18,348
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen.
163
00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:20,383
I need you and Kelly
to come out with us
164
00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:21,784
for Carrie's birthday
tomorrow night.
165
00:08:21,819 --> 00:08:23,588
Can't do it. I already told you.
My mom's flying in.
166
00:08:23,623 --> 00:08:26,058
Look, I know, but I promised
Carrie a big birthday night
167
00:08:26,092 --> 00:08:27,659
when I thought she
wouldn't want to do it,
168
00:08:27,693 --> 00:08:30,128
and then I felt so bad I
shimmied her back into going,
169
00:08:30,162 --> 00:08:32,062
and now if I
don't come through,
170
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:35,098
I'll never be able
to live with myself.
171
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:37,600
No idea what you're
talking about,
172
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:38,868
but... I got my mother.
Come on, we're late.
173
00:08:38,903 --> 00:08:39,936
Please, come on...
hey, come on!
174
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,637
It's 3 hours of your life!
175
00:08:41,672 --> 00:08:42,905
Hmm...
176
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,273
you still want me
to tape that, uh...
177
00:08:44,307 --> 00:08:45,674
Ultimate Fighting
for you, don't you?
178
00:08:45,709 --> 00:08:48,010
Yeah. You said
you would.
179
00:08:48,045 --> 00:08:50,312
Oh, I'll tape it.
Sure.
180
00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:52,747
Just be a shame
if that tape had a little...
181
00:08:52,781 --> 00:08:55,150
accident before I
could get it to you.
182
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,468
So, this is great.
183
00:09:18,502 --> 00:09:21,103
We're all here for
Carrie's birthday.
184
00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:23,138
It just feels right.
185
00:09:25,707 --> 00:09:29,343
We're really glad you can
join us tonight, Mrs. Palmer.
186
00:09:29,377 --> 00:09:31,245
It's not like I had a choice.
187
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,599
You snatch me
fresh off the plane,
188
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,414
don't even give a woman
a chance to clean up.
189
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,482
Why didn't you tell me we
were going out to a fancy dinner?
190
00:09:36,516 --> 00:09:37,716
I said I'm sorry.
191
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,984
You should've told her, Deac.
192
00:09:40,019 --> 00:09:42,787
It's not like we haven't had
these plans for weeks.
193
00:09:42,821 --> 00:09:44,755
I guess I just forgot.
194
00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:46,556
I got one word for you, buddy:
195
00:09:46,591 --> 00:09:47,624
datebook.
196
00:09:53,664 --> 00:09:55,231
So, honey, you, uh...
197
00:09:55,265 --> 00:09:56,765
want to open my present now?
198
00:09:56,799 --> 00:09:57,799
No, no, no.
199
00:09:57,834 --> 00:09:59,534
I'm enjoying
the limo ride too much.
200
00:09:59,568 --> 00:10:01,869
Anyway, it's too dark
in here to read the card.
201
00:10:04,006 --> 00:10:04,939
The card, yeah.
202
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,446
Unh...
203
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,715
What you got going there, hon?
204
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,449
I got something
caught in my teeth.
205
00:10:19,484 --> 00:10:21,084
I tell you, if I don't get
some floss,
206
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:22,752
it's going to
bother me all night.
207
00:10:22,787 --> 00:10:24,667
Do you guys mind
if we pull over at a drugstore?
208
00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:27,556
Oh, man.
209
00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:30,726
This is the worst selection of
cards I've ever seen!
210
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,062
While you're here, why don't
you buy me a datebook?
211
00:10:36,146 --> 00:10:38,947
Let it go.
212
00:10:38,981 --> 00:10:41,080
Come on, I'm dying here.
213
00:10:41,114 --> 00:10:42,381
These cards, they're
actually dusty.
214
00:10:42,382 --> 00:10:43,382
What about this one?
215
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:46,183
- It's a chimp sitting on a toilet?
- It's funny.
216
00:10:46,584 --> 00:10:48,344
What message is that
supposed to communicate?
217
00:10:48,385 --> 00:10:49,581
I don't know.
218
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,482
No, it's not right though.
Come on.
219
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,416
Oh, will you hurry up?
220
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,517
My mom and Kelly are in a
confined space together.
221
00:11:00,552 --> 00:11:02,919
Somebody's going down.
222
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,620
Wait a second.
What's this?
223
00:11:04,654 --> 00:11:07,088
Oh, this is very nice.
Very nice. Okay.
224
00:11:07,122 --> 00:11:08,589
Okay, let's go.
225
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,591
- Just this.
- $1.08.
226
00:11:09,696 --> 00:11:11,729
Okay, there you go.
227
00:11:11,764 --> 00:11:15,599
Uh-oh. I can't
change this.
228
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,467
Haven't you got something
smaller than a 20?
229
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:19,571
Uh, no, sorry.
230
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:20,672
A ten?
231
00:11:20,706 --> 00:11:22,840
Still no.
232
00:11:22,874 --> 00:11:24,274
Sorry.
233
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,642
Look, you got
any smaller bills?
234
00:11:25,676 --> 00:11:26,943
Kelly holds my wallet.
235
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,944
Oh, you got
some woman issues, huh?
236
00:11:28,978 --> 00:11:31,779
Okay, all right, look, I'll just...
I'll buy something else. Uh...
237
00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:34,346
You know what? Uh,
give me a comb,
238
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:36,514
um, the Oh Henry! bar there,
239
00:11:36,549 --> 00:11:37,549
uh...
240
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:38,950
throw in the nail clippers,
241
00:11:38,984 --> 00:11:41,019
and give me a water pistol.
242
00:11:41,053 --> 00:11:42,887
What color?
243
00:11:42,921 --> 00:11:44,088
Uh, you got blue?
244
00:11:44,122 --> 00:11:45,122
No.
245
00:11:45,156 --> 00:11:46,857
Then I don't care then, whatever.
246
00:11:48,126 --> 00:11:49,494
Okay, what does
all that come to?
247
00:11:49,528 --> 00:11:51,163
Four twenty-six.
248
00:11:51,197 --> 00:11:52,631
That's all?
249
00:11:52,665 --> 00:11:54,899
Get some of these pretzels.
250
00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:56,868
Yeah, yeah, give me
$16 worth of pretzels.
251
00:11:56,902 --> 00:11:58,069
Oh, those are free.
252
00:11:59,671 --> 00:12:02,072
You're killing me.
253
00:12:14,482 --> 00:12:20,616
So, Mrs. Palmer, you must be so
excited to see Deacon and Kelly.
254
00:12:20,653 --> 00:12:23,488
And little baby Kirby.
He is so cute!
255
00:12:24,423 --> 00:12:27,057
Who ever heard of naming a boy
after a vacuum cleaner?
256
00:12:28,859 --> 00:12:30,460
Some people have
no sense. Am I right?
257
00:12:30,464 --> 00:12:32,098
Yeah. I...
258
00:12:32,132 --> 00:12:33,232
I know just what you mean.
259
00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:35,668
How many little ones
do you have, darling?
260
00:12:35,702 --> 00:12:37,169
Oh, me? Uh, none.
261
00:12:37,203 --> 00:12:40,437
- Barren.
- Oh, my God.
262
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:45,340
No, no, no, not barren. Not that
I... not that I know of. Ha ha!
263
00:12:47,211 --> 00:12:49,278
It's just that, for the time being,
I'm going to...
264
00:12:49,313 --> 00:12:51,246
I want to focus on my career.
265
00:12:51,281 --> 00:12:52,581
Mm-hmm.
266
00:12:52,615 --> 00:12:53,816
What do you do?
267
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:56,518
I'm a... secretary.
268
00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,986
Legal secretary.
269
00:12:59,021 --> 00:13:02,954
So you think it's more important
to type and answer phones
270
00:13:02,957 --> 00:13:06,990
than to share your love with a
sweet baby that's growing inside you?
271
00:13:06,993 --> 00:13:12,393
Well, I also arrange for the muffins
at the morning staff meetings.
272
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:28,038
- Hurry up!
- Stop pressuring me.
273
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,175
- Uh-oh.
- What?
274
00:13:32,177 --> 00:13:33,877
I...I just wrote myself
into a corner here!
275
00:13:33,912 --> 00:13:35,646
- Just read me what you have.
- Okay.
276
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:39,481
"Dear Carrie, you are nothing less
to me than a big..."
277
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:44,616
- Where were you going with that?
- I don't know!
278
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,217
I don't know!
I'm getting wired
279
00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:47,551
from chewing
all this Nicorette!
280
00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:48,652
All right, all right.
281
00:13:48,687 --> 00:13:50,254
Just work with what you got.
Come on.
282
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:51,689
Okay.
283
00:13:51,723 --> 00:13:53,958
"You are nothing less
to me than a big...
284
00:13:53,992 --> 00:13:55,926
"pile of...
285
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,828
love meat."
286
00:13:58,863 --> 00:14:00,263
Oh, man, I am blanking!
287
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,563
All right, don't panic.
288
00:14:01,598 --> 00:14:04,099
Maybe we can play
with the letters here.
289
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:05,500
All right, what
if you turned the "b"...
290
00:14:05,535 --> 00:14:06,468
Yeah?
291
00:14:06,502 --> 00:14:08,336
Into an "8"?
292
00:14:11,439 --> 00:14:13,740
Where does that get me?
293
00:14:13,775 --> 00:14:17,511
Wait a second, what
if I change the "i"...
294
00:14:17,545 --> 00:14:19,313
into an "l"...
295
00:14:19,347 --> 00:14:22,450
and then I squeeze the "i"
before the "l"?
296
00:14:22,484 --> 00:14:25,353
No, why don't you just keep the
"i" and draw in the "l", man?
297
00:14:25,388 --> 00:14:26,722
Oh, hey, hey, yeah, yeah!
298
00:14:28,058 --> 00:14:30,626
Oh, wait a second.
That's "bilge"!
299
00:14:31,795 --> 00:14:33,396
Oh, my God, what have I done?
300
00:14:43,368 --> 00:14:45,669
All right!
This place is nice.
301
00:14:45,704 --> 00:14:49,039
What are we sitting
outside for? It's freezing!
302
00:14:49,074 --> 00:14:50,574
I just thought for
Carrie's birthday,
303
00:14:50,608 --> 00:14:52,576
it would be nice to
spread out a little.
304
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,711
Got the whole patio
to ourselves,
305
00:14:54,746 --> 00:14:56,780
so we can
♪ par-tee! ♪
306
00:15:02,751 --> 00:15:04,351
That's sweet, honey.
307
00:15:04,385 --> 00:15:05,919
You're a sweetie pie.
308
00:15:05,953 --> 00:15:07,353
You're okay?
You're not too cold?
309
00:15:07,388 --> 00:15:08,354
Nope.
310
00:15:08,388 --> 00:15:10,256
Well, I am.
311
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:11,824
Just take my jacket, Mom.
312
00:15:11,858 --> 00:15:13,892
And be seen in that wrinkled
thing? I'd rather freeze.
313
00:15:13,926 --> 00:15:15,126
Mom, take it.
314
00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:17,395
She wants to freeze,
let her freeze.
315
00:15:17,429 --> 00:15:20,265
All right.
I'll take the jacket.
316
00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:24,572
This place looks
great, you know?
317
00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:26,342
And certainly
no shortage of forks.
318
00:15:26,377 --> 00:15:27,944
If I would've known
there were this many forks,
319
00:15:27,979 --> 00:15:30,547
I wouldn't have brought
my own. Ha ha!
320
00:15:32,917 --> 00:15:34,717
It's a lot of
forks. Yeah.
321
00:15:37,786 --> 00:15:39,353
You all right, honey?
322
00:15:39,387 --> 00:15:40,821
Fine.
323
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:42,022
You're shivering.
324
00:15:42,056 --> 00:15:43,290
I'm fine.
325
00:15:45,326 --> 00:15:47,026
I want the Ultimate
Fighting tape
326
00:15:47,061 --> 00:15:48,728
tomorrow morning.
327
00:15:52,499 --> 00:15:54,533
I...I got... I got to floss
again, you know.
328
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,369
Hello.
329
00:16:03,403 --> 00:16:06,301
Arthur, look, I need you to tape
something for me on the VCR, okay?
330
00:16:06,335 --> 00:16:08,332
It's starting in a minute,
so we have to hurry.
331
00:16:08,366 --> 00:16:09,795
First, set the TV
to channel 3.
332
00:16:09,829 --> 00:16:12,126
Then put a blank tape in the VCR
and set it to channel 82.
333
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,559
You got that?
334
00:16:13,593 --> 00:16:15,392
Who is this?
335
00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:26,732
You know what I'm
in the mood for?
336
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:28,134
A drink.
337
00:16:29,603 --> 00:16:31,504
Where's our waiter?
338
00:16:31,538 --> 00:16:33,339
Why are they all inside?
339
00:16:33,373 --> 00:16:34,706
Because it's warm
340
00:16:34,741 --> 00:16:36,441
and there are no pigeons.
341
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:42,545
Oh, my goodness.
It's snowing.
342
00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:44,447
Oh! Oh! Snow! Snow!
343
00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:50,985
Deacon, I am quite
ready to leave!
344
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,954
Well, we're not. We are celebrating
our friend's birthday.
345
00:16:52,989 --> 00:16:53,956
Deacon?
346
00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:54,890
Honey?
347
00:16:56,392 --> 00:16:57,825
I hate Doug!
348
00:16:59,128 --> 00:17:00,628
Well, I am leaving.
349
00:17:00,662 --> 00:17:02,363
I'll just grab my luggage
out of the limo
350
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,964
and take the bus.
351
00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,998
See you at home.
352
00:17:06,032 --> 00:17:08,000
Mom...
353
00:17:08,034 --> 00:17:10,068
Kelly, please?
354
00:17:10,103 --> 00:17:11,368
Carrie, you mind?
355
00:17:11,402 --> 00:17:14,069
Deacon's head's
about to explode.
356
00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:15,504
No, you go ahead.
357
00:17:15,538 --> 00:17:17,672
I'm going to make
a nice snow angel.
358
00:17:19,575 --> 00:17:24,147
Now, put the tape in
and press the red button.
359
00:17:24,182 --> 00:17:26,315
The one that says "record"?
360
00:17:27,851 --> 00:17:29,385
Yeah, sure, whatever.
361
00:17:29,419 --> 00:17:31,920
Now, double check. Is
the VCR on channel 82?
362
00:17:31,954 --> 00:17:33,354
I don't know.
It's not plugged in.
363
00:17:34,956 --> 00:17:37,290
And why isn't it plugged in?
364
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:41,658
Fire hazard. I unplug everything
when you're not home.
365
00:17:43,227 --> 00:17:44,694
Well, plug it in!
366
00:17:44,728 --> 00:17:46,461
All right.
Here goes.
367
00:17:49,698 --> 00:17:51,432
Are you there?
368
00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:53,234
Yeah. Did you plug it in?
369
00:17:53,268 --> 00:17:55,003
Yeah.
Didn't quite fit,
370
00:17:55,038 --> 00:17:57,205
but I jammed it in
there pretty good.
371
00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:13,114
Whew! I am so sorry
I took so long.
372
00:18:13,149 --> 00:18:16,217
The food was really, uh, wedged
down in my gum, you know?
373
00:18:16,251 --> 00:18:19,987
I think I need to see
a gum... dentist.
374
00:18:20,021 --> 00:18:22,122
Hey, where is, uh,
where is everyone?
375
00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:24,690
They left because
it was snowing.
376
00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:27,160
Oh, so it's, uh...
377
00:18:27,194 --> 00:18:28,461
just you and me, huh?
378
00:18:28,496 --> 00:18:30,029
Yes, indeedly-doo.
379
00:18:31,764 --> 00:18:33,531
Now, give me my present.
380
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:35,399
Give me, give me, give me!
381
00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:39,169
Sure. Here you go.
382
00:18:39,204 --> 00:18:41,105
Hey, happy birthday!
383
00:18:41,139 --> 00:18:43,607
Ahh!
384
00:18:43,642 --> 00:18:45,275
Uh... oh!
385
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:46,743
Think it's a card.
Ha ha!
386
00:18:46,778 --> 00:18:48,244
Yes.
387
00:18:50,313 --> 00:18:52,281
"Dear Carrie,
388
00:18:52,315 --> 00:18:55,116
"you are nothing
less to me than a...
389
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:57,150
"bilgistic...
390
00:18:57,185 --> 00:18:59,318
pile of love meat."
391
00:19:06,124 --> 00:19:09,458
Doug, that is so beautiful!
392
00:19:10,927 --> 00:19:12,961
It is?
393
00:19:12,995 --> 00:19:14,795
Okay, I think you've had
enough to drink.
394
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:16,530
Okay.
395
00:19:16,564 --> 00:19:18,765
I love you.
396
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:19,932
Come on.
397
00:19:19,967 --> 00:19:21,600
Let's make a baby right now.
398
00:19:21,634 --> 00:19:23,102
What?
399
00:19:23,136 --> 00:19:25,871
Don't worry. We won't name
him after a vacuum cleaner.
400
00:19:25,906 --> 00:19:29,775
Although Hoover
is kind of cute!
401
00:19:29,809 --> 00:19:31,175
Hoover Heffernan.
402
00:19:32,777 --> 00:19:34,578
All right, come on, baby,
take off your pants.
403
00:19:34,612 --> 00:19:36,179
Hey, Carrie, come on, come on!
404
00:19:36,213 --> 00:19:38,081
There's people!
405
00:19:38,115 --> 00:19:41,184
You don't want to have
a baby with me!
406
00:19:41,218 --> 00:19:42,552
I do! Just...
407
00:19:42,586 --> 00:19:44,920
not before my salad.
408
00:19:44,955 --> 00:19:46,388
What's wrong with you tonight?
409
00:19:46,423 --> 00:19:48,190
What's wrong with me
410
00:19:48,224 --> 00:19:50,859
is that I'm a big...
411
00:19:50,893 --> 00:19:53,526
fat selfish person!
412
00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:55,427
Deacon's mother was right.
413
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,460
Oh, she got you going
on this? Oh, God...
414
00:19:57,494 --> 00:19:59,959
It's all been about me.
415
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:02,524
My life, my job,
416
00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:03,693
my mai-tai.
417
00:20:03,727 --> 00:20:06,594
Carrie, would you stop?
Please stop.
418
00:20:06,628 --> 00:20:07,795
Look, you're not
a selfish person.
419
00:20:07,829 --> 00:20:09,799
You're a wonderful person...
420
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,274
who's had 12 umbrella drinks.
421
00:20:13,809 --> 00:20:15,244
So I'm being ridiculous?
422
00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:16,550
Yes.
423
00:20:16,585 --> 00:20:18,387
Ohh...
424
00:20:18,421 --> 00:20:19,723
God!
425
00:20:19,758 --> 00:20:22,192
Look at me, drunk...
426
00:20:22,226 --> 00:20:23,126
pitying myself,
427
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,294
I ruined this beautiful night
428
00:20:25,329 --> 00:20:28,764
you worked so hard to plan. I'm
not bilgistic at all, honey,
429
00:20:28,798 --> 00:20:29,765
you are.
430
00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:31,633
No, trust me, I'm not.
431
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:32,734
No. You are.
432
00:20:32,768 --> 00:20:35,136
Carrie, would you stop
and listen to me?
433
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:37,571
The other night when you said
you didn't want to go out
434
00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:40,674
and I told you I made all
these great plans...
435
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:42,308
I...I was lying.
436
00:20:42,343 --> 00:20:44,543
Okay? I didn't make any.
437
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:48,914
I was so worried about seeing
my stupid Ultimate Fighting.
438
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:52,584
I slapped this whole night
together last minute.
439
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:54,286
Really?
440
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,221
That wasn't very
bilgistic of you...
441
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,353
That's not even a word!
442
00:20:58,388 --> 00:21:00,621
I made it up when I
was writing your card
443
00:21:00,656 --> 00:21:03,790
in the drugstore.
444
00:21:03,825 --> 00:21:06,025
I mean, God, everything
wrong with this night
445
00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:07,560
is my fault! Me!
446
00:21:10,296 --> 00:21:12,263
Listen, Carrie,
447
00:21:12,298 --> 00:21:14,699
I'm so sorry for tonight.
448
00:21:17,037 --> 00:21:18,470
And I love you.
449
00:21:20,173 --> 00:21:22,006
I love you, too.
450
00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:24,408
Happy birthday.
451
00:21:24,442 --> 00:21:28,214
Happy birthday to you, too.
452
00:21:37,021 --> 00:21:38,421
Come on, let's go.
453
00:21:39,723 --> 00:21:41,390
Can we moon people
out of the limo?
454
00:21:41,424 --> 00:21:42,658
- Of course.
- Okay!
455
00:21:52,716 --> 00:21:56,383
Oh, bring on
the Ultimate Fighting!
456
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:07,792
Arthur!
457
00:22:12,793 --> 00:22:16,089
Sync, corrected by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
32581
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