Original subtitles

Daddy!

It bit me.

Mum!

Daddy caught a fish!

Elli! Go back! Go!

A film by J-P Valkeapää

Dogs Don't Wear Pants

Right.

Day off tomorrow. A game of tennis?

Can't make it. Got something else.

Happy birthday, Elli!

Thanks for the cake!

- Did you hear the music? - What?

No. Happy birthday.

Good. You shouldn't, yet.

- Let's go. - Wait, dad. One thing.

My coat's over here. Come.

Come on.

Satu!

He's my dad. Satu is my music teacher.

- Hi! Satu. - Juha.

Will you come to Elli's performance next week?

Performance?

Our concert. I told you about it.

- He's coming. - Yes, I will.

- I'll put a ticket aside for you. - Thanks.

- I'm having my tongue pierced today. - Really? Ouch.

I'll bite my tongue.

Let's go.

- Nice to meet you. - Yes. Likewise.

Bye!

We can still turn back.

Come on!

Stick your tongue out and say "ah".

Perhaps your dad should step out before we start.

It's a bit crowded here.

There's a coffee place round the corner.

Dad, go away.

OK.

Dad?

Right.

That went well.

- Did it hurt much? - No.

Good.

Right.

A bit different, this is.

We used to visit the Natural History Museum on your birthday.

- I could take you there some day. - Yeah.

Would be fab.

Dad.

- Good night. - Good night.

That's so neat.

- Not swollen at all! - That's right.

When I got mine, it was so difficult to talk.

Show it again.

- That's so cool. - It's really great.

Elli, what's that on your tongue?

Let's have a look.

That's for blowjobs, right?

Fucking jerks.

- Ignore them they're just boys. - And stupid.

- It's really cool. - Awesome. I want one, too.

If you approve tongue studs, you stifle your child's rebellion.

A boyfriend of mine had a piercing, some chain ring thing.

Down there.

It had a name, too.

I understand them in principle, on the sexual side.

Even that some people consider them aesthetic.

But from anatomical point of view,

I don't think the urethra needs more than one hole.

Can't remember its name. I called it the fagotto.

You're alive after all.

You like this, don't you?

You like this, nice boy.

Good boy.

Down!

Good.

Did you wash yourself?

You don't smell as bad as last time.

What a nice boy you are.

Dominatrix's pet… Are you?

Are you?

I've got a small present for you.

I'll leave it here by the door.

Thank you.

Hello?

How did you get this number?

Yes, I'm Mona.

What do you want?

Any special requests?

Whipping, pissing? Strap-ons, anal stuff?

Nipple pinching? Electric shocks, slashing?

Yes.

Yeah.

I know how the heart works.

I've got nothing to change into.

- I didn't… - Silence!

Good boy.

Start panting.

Start panting!

You want to get what you want, you obey. Got it?

- Why the pants? - I didn't…

Dogs don't wear pants. Take them off.

Off, off, off.

Shirt, too. Off it comes.

There.

Much better.

Much better.

Good boy.

On all fours.

- For fuck's… - Down!

Good.

What a nice dog.

What a fine dog.

Come.

Down! Crawl.

Chop chop.

Dominatrix hears you've been bad.

You been a bad dog?

Say it.

- You been a bad dog? - Yes.

Yes. I've been a bad dog.

You need to be punished.

My boot is dirty. Lick it clean.

We never…

You want to be fucked, dog?

Clean it.

Clean it.

More!

Good.

Sit.

More.

How's your tongue?

It's OK.

I'm vegan.

Did you call Satu?

- What? - Did you call Satu?

- What? - About the tickets.

So you'll be sure to get them.

I'll call her.

- It's tomorrow. - What?

My performance's tomorrow.

Just breathe easy.

My wife's leggings. I left mine at the gym.

Right.

The doctor said my back will never mend.

Don't listen to those pessimists.

I have to take this.

Hello.

Mona?

I'd like to see you again.

- Hi there. - Hi!

- You have it? - Yeah.

Here.

Thanks, darling.

What's so funny?

Thanks for these clothes.

- I wouldn't have had… - Silence!

Dogs don't speak.

Come.

Why's the dog free?

Bad dog.

Get down.

On your hands and knees!

- Been a bad dog, have you? - I've…

Dogs don't speak. Bad boy!

Don't come in!

Sorry, I didn't…

- You got no business here. - I won't come in.

I didn't mean to… I just wanted to apologize.

I wasn't really aware of things out there.

Anyway, I'm very sorry.

I hope that…

Next time would it be possible…

to strangle me a bit longer?

I passed a health check recently, my heart's all right.

Tomorrow all right with you?

Yes.

- Same time? - Yes.

Right.

Good.

Bye.

Bye.

- Hi. - Hi!

I have to cancel tomorrow's customer. Will you tell him?

OK.

- Aren't you coming? - I am.

- A different customer. - OK.

Hi, Elli.

Today?

I'm coming. Yes.

I'm busy here at the job. Take the bus.

No, take the bus. See you there.

No time for that. See you.

- You going? - Got to take care of something.

Haven't you heard? We got one more operation.

Right.

Hey… Juha.

They're waiting for us!

Elli's concert's tonight.

Down!

Bad dog.

Come!

Give me your paw.

Dirty dog.

Well.

It's clean now.

Heel.

More.

Strangle me some more.

Downstairs, quick.

We need an ambulance.

Look at the light.

Smile.

Stick your tongue out.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad, what happened?

- Dad! - Elli, listen.

I saw mum.

Stop it.

- The drugs have messed you up. - No.

Listen… I saw mum.

- Stop! - I saw her.

Stop it!

Get out!

Go home.

I can't take this.

Good morning. Elli

Hey!

Thank you again. Kaisa's feeling really fine.

Good to hear.

Haven't seen you for some time. You hurt your neck?

- You mean this? - Yes.

- A slight accident. - A car crash?

No.

No.

- I was strangled. - Strangled?

That's awful. Strangled?

It was kind of my own fault.

Juha's things from Trauma Unit

Come in.

Aren't you on sick leave?

I just came to make some calls.

How's things at home?

Fine.

How's Elli been?

Fine.

You better hear this now and not after your leave.

The Board's very worried about you.

People saw you break that window. Patients and relatives.

The Board thinks it wasn't really acceptable behaviour.

They want a psychiatric evaluation on you.

Psychiatric evaluation?

Whether all your Moomins are in the Valley.

Right.

Are they?

What do you mean?

What do I mean?

They want to know if you're still fit to work.

Are the patients safe with you.

Whether you've lost your mind.

OK?

I'm fucking wondering about it, too!

Don't worry. I'm in my right mind.

What happened was just temporary.

- Temporary. Which part? - All of it. Every part.

All right.

- Going home soon? - Yes.

Good. You won't be hanging around here?

- Just a few phone calls. - Good.

- What? - The dog called again.

I said you're fully booked.

Good. Thanks.

I filled some water bottles for you.

Oh hell! Red!

Do something, I'm burning!

Piss now!

Fuck, I'm burning!

I'm burning!

Darling. Got any salve?

- Salve? - Anything.

Would be nice to do something else sometimes.

Ordinary stuff. Don't you think so, too?

Darling, I don't like ordinary stuff.

Juha.

Stop following me.

What you want will cost you so much pain you won't stand it.

- Evening. - Evening.

Do I get in?

Sorry, no. A private event.

I was supposed to meet the woman who just went in.

I'm afraid I can't let you in, sir.

We agreed that we'd meet here.

I'm sorry, not today.

What?

- I've got a fifty here. - What's that?

- A tip. - A tip?

- Entrance fee. - Sorry, I can't let you in.

All I got is this, and my debit card. And a couple of fivers.

No need to shove.

Just go away!

Mona!

Wait.

Wait!

Dad?

- Is everything all right? - Yes.

I'm doing number two. This will take a while.

I thought you were a burglar.

Well, not quite.

Not quite.

- Just go to sleep. - Where were you?

Down town.

- Seeing friends. - What friends?

Friends!

Friends from work.

- Dad, open the door. - No. Go to sleep.

- Open the door, I want to see you! - No!

We went out to dinner.

My stomach got upset.

This will take a while.

See you in the morning!

- Dad. - Yes?

I hope you'll feel better soon.

I'm all right.

- Good night. - Good night.

God, you're funny!

I thought you'd be a bit dull, but you've changed.

First impressions can be deceiving.

I've got to powder my nose or I'll pee myself.

What?

Lovely! Thanks.

No one's ever given me perfume before.

Do I smell that bad?

I'm joking.

Thanks, you shouldn't have.

I hope the music won't bother you.

- I can turn it down. - Not at all.

It may seem an odd choice.

I think it's sexy music. It turns me on.

- Can we turn the lights off? - Sure.

Would you put that perfume on?

Yes. Sure.

- Did you want to spray it? - No, it's fine.

- Press there. - What?

Just there.

Go on. It feels good.

I'm sorry.

It feels good.

Let's carry on.

I'm sorry.

Bye, then.

You can hurt me as much as you like.

But then you'll strangle me.

Hurt you.

As much as you want.

Any way you want.

As much as I like.

As much. You can…

You'll think of something. Be so kind.

Kind? You've got me all wrong.

No safewords. You can hurt me.

- But then you'll strangle me. - You've got me wrong.

- Hi. - Hi.

Mona.

One more time. Then I'll go.

You won't see me again.

Dogs don't stand on two feet.

Come.

He won't bite. Unless I tell him to.

Down.

You! Down!

Come.

Sit.

Raise your arms.

Open your mouth.

- What will you do? - Open up.

- I thought… - I'll hurt you as much as I like.

- What will you do? - Take out a tooth.

Fuck, no.

I meant maybe hitting or… Fuck, no!

You can still go.

You can leave now. But don't ever come back.

Pull the fucking tooth.

Quiet!

No! Hello!

- No! Hello! - What?

Wrong tooth!

Remember to breathe.

Want to go on?

Be quiet then.

Remember to breathe.

My turn now.

Oh shit.

- What? - What?

You came here to kill yourself!

I'm not what you're looking for.

I don't do that, I'm not what you're looking for.

What the hell?

Fucking dog.

Not you.

Elli.

Your cheek's all swollen.

- I went to see a dentist. - Sure you did.

I came to take you to the Natural History Museum.

Come with me to the Museum.

No.

- I'll tell you the truth. - Well?

I've met a nice lady.

That sounds promising.

I have to go.

Dad. I have to go.

Need any money?

Juha!

Juha!

You made me run.

Your psych… God, I'm out of shape.

Must get some exercise. Right.

Your psychiatric evaluation was reviewed today.

You got clean papers.

You're surprised yourself.

- How the hell did you do it? - I lied. Good night.

Coming to work next week?

Subtitles by Mikko Lyytikäinen / Movision