Original subtitles

-You could've told her no, tell her no. -She's my boss, I can't uninvite her.

Make up something, say it was cancelled.

Okay, and on Monday at work, after she's seen all the Stories?

Sort it out. Don't look at me.

Forgive me, I didn't know it was such a VIP party.

For fuck's sake, I didn't invite people from work.

-Because you can't stand them. -And you invite your boss. Shit.

-I'm sorry. -Okay, that's it, you told me.

-Shall I make guacamole? -That's a no-brainer.

You're in a shitty mood, aren't you?

Babe, it's fine, we'll have a great time, my boss is nice.

-How many in the end? -Ten.

Ten? No, nine, right?

-Martina... -Manuel is coming.

-No! -Yes, Yerai told me.

Fuck. Your ex, your boss... Is it my birthday or yours, girl?

The more, the merrier.

Don't speak in Catalan. I don't like it.

-You do like it... I speak very well. -If I like it...

Bullshit I like it. I'll speak to you in Asturian.

I like you speaking in Asturian.

C'mon, silly, don't get mad.

What does two more people matter? It's going to be lots of fun.

Sure. It'll be fucking great.

-What? -What?

What are you looking at?

What's wrong? Is there something on my face?

No. Did you cut your hair?

No.

-Is your beard longer or something? -No. No way! No.

-I don't know, you look different. -Because I'm old.

I'm old, fucking hell.

-You're cute. Growing up suits you. -Get outta here!

Ass-kisser.

Girl, 35 already.

Hello?

Thanks.

Thanks, thanks a lot.

I know, my God, I know.

No, some friends are coming around later,

but nothing special.

No, no, not yet.

No, no. Nothing so far.

DAFNE AND THE REST

-What are you doing? -I'm going, honey.

-But you just got here. -I don't feel so good.

-Honey, what are you saying? -I took an Lorazepam before coming.

I wasn't going to come, but... I don't feel like being here.

-You haven't even given him your gift. -I don't know him, I'm embarrassed.

It's all so strange, I feel awkward.

Amaya looks at me like she's judging me, you know?

You're all very nice, eh? But it's just...

-Come on! -No, honey. I'm going home.

I'll put on an episode of a series and relax, really.

-No. -Please.

One drink? Just one.

You haven't tried my curried chicken sandwiches.

They're nice, but not store-bought, I made them myself, honestly.

-It'd make me happy. -I want to go, don't pressure me.

Don't look at me like that.

Fuck, I'm so soft, I always give in to emotional blackmail.

I'll have a glass of wine, one, give him my gift and go home.

Okay.

Come on then.

César, thanks a lot for inviting me.

-That's alright. -I have something for you.

-Really? There was no need. -It's something silly.

-Thanks a lot. -Since I don't know you...

Well, you're the only one who's given me anything.

Hey, wait, wait. Come on!

It seems like everyone is having a good time

because the music's very loud, but no. Look at them.

Please, stop, you're so clingy.

She loves him kissing her, but not in front of people,

she feels bad, phony, fake.

And there, look at those gays, really uncomfortable, sure.

One girl's ex hooking up with her friend and they all know it.

Although that kind of boy on Grindr likes to be the center of attention,

these two don't.

-This is really weird. -Drink and shut up.

-I've got heartburn. -Then drink more.

And it's intense with these girls. They haven't seen each other

since they got it on that day of the tequila shots.

You didn't know? No, nobody knows, it's a secret.

But everyone here gets it on with everyone at the drop of a hat,

since they're so good-looking.

Don't worry. It's all fine.

Are you sure?

No, not at all, it's not fine.

Yeah, girl. Friends.

That's a lie.

I don't know, you've sent me so many messages...

Sure, I went a bit haywire.

I broke up with a girl recently

And since... you and I... We... It's all fine.

Okay, for me too. I'm glad we talked it over.

Talked it over? No, you haven't.

The waitress is stuck on her because she's a real dyke

and not a bogus lesbian. And that hug doesn't help,

but look at the dignity she's handling it with. Amazing.

What are you talking about?

She's such a ditz, poor girl.

The talent show? The talent show, right?

I didn't see the gala yesterday. The building's antenna was busted

and I tried to watch it online, but the connection we've got...

...is shit. It's fine on my phone,

but on TV I don't know what's up. What company are you with?

-Yoigo. -Amena.

-Amena. Yeah, right, Amena. -Yes.

-Does Amena still exist? -Sure.

That's cool. I thought it didn't exist anymore.

Free, right? I'm as free as the rising sun...

-What are you doing? -The song in the ad.

-I didn't remember it. -No, me neither.

Nino Bravo, girls. The singer, don't you remember?

No?

-Well, shall we have a toast? -Hey, yeah, please.

And eat up, the guacamole is turning black.

-It's not bought, I made it. -You can tell, girl, you can.

-You're bad, so bad. -I'm going to try it.

Who wants a beer?

I don't understand the game. All I do is drink and drink.

Sure, Aurora, you only have to drink if you've done it.

If you've done what they say, then you drink.

So you thought that I had a threesome with two black guys?

I didn't. I drank because I saw

that girl drinking and I drank too.

That girl?

I've never been with two black guys in my life.

Not two or even one. No, no. I wish!

Okay, my turn, my turn.

I've never done it in the showers at the gym.

-Raquel? -You're drinking? Seriously?

Raquel...

Alright, alright, I'd go with my ex to Body Pump,

the gym at the San Miguel Market,

and on Wednesday mornings there was no one there.

Alright, me, me...

I've never hooked up with my friend's ex.

-Girl... -You're poison, girl, poison.

That's bad, it's so uncomfortable, so awkward now.

Well, I have, but it's fine. Is anything wrong, Dafne?

-It's fine. -It's fine.

-It's fine. -It's fine. So, look, I'm drinking.

I don't know. These questions!

At this rate I'll never drink again.

Hey, please, really. Can you ask more normal questions?

-Or that aren't about sex? -Like what?

Well, for example...

Okay: I've never stuck

the stamp from a disco with saliva to get in free.

-What? -What? I didn't understand that.

Your friend licks the ink on the stamp

and sticks it on you. You know? I've done it.

No, I've done it one or two times.

Me too. When I was young.

-I don't remember, actually. -Go on then. My turn.

I've never, ever, got it on with a guy.

But almost all of us here have got it on with a guy.

I mean someone of the same sex,

me with a guy, you with a girl, got it?

-That's dangerous. -César, you drank!

-You got it on with a guy? -Yes, technically, yes.

-Whoah. -You never told me.

-What's wrong? -What do you mean: what's wrong?

-You don't remember, right? -Me? What?

When we came back from the music fest totally wasted.

-No. -We snogged.

What are you saying? No.

She doesn't count, honey. Spit it out, she doesn't count.

Yeah, fuck, she was a guy to me, she had a beard.

-Well... -Honey, you're making it up.

I must've been shitfaced. I don't remember, at all.

We were both shitfaced. The lift was out of order

and I couldn't walk up, I was so smashed.

I sat on the stairs, I don't remember how it happened,

you dragged me over...

We ended up both sitting on the stairs and we snogged.

-Yeah? -But why?

I don't know, we were wasted.

-I'll drink again 'cause I feel like it. -It doesn't count, honey.

It doesn't count, I'm with you. I'm in shock.

Well, well. You're all so modern.

I've never kissed a girl, or even imagined it.

But as a little girl?

-Little girl? -Little girl.

-You kissed when you were little? -Sure.

God, if my father saw me kiss a girl when I was little

-he would've whacked me... -Hey, when we were little...

-Not me. -We were kids. A little kiss...

-Not me. I've never done it. -She's offended.

Well, I don't remember. But no.

My cousin Soraya and I would play weddings and kiss.

Weddings?

No, hey, just little pecks, all very light, but we kissed.

But I don't remember it as something cool

or to go telling people, like you guys.

Really, it's 2020 and it's no big deal, right?

I don't know, I think I've kissed a girl, but...

just kisses, I mean, kisses, that's it, I don't know.

-Not me. -Well, I've kissed a girl too.

-Do you want...? -No, thanks.

Shall we put on some music?

Honey, can you tell your friend to please change the music?

I don't know a single song. Really, somethin' bedda...

Bedda?

-Better. -You're drunk, eh?

-Yeah? -Fuck, you're slurring your words.

-Nothing wrong with that, right? -Why would there be?

There is, of course. He doesn't like seeing her so pissed,

but he says it because he thinks it's what he should do

because he read a book about toxic masculinity or whatever.

You look pretty, so flushed.

Gorgeous, but she smells of sweat. That's how it is.

-You have to tell the audience. -No.

-What are you doing now? -I don't know, girl.

The same as before.

No, now we're onto Kiss, Truth or Dare.

It's a different game, you didn't understand.

The name of the game says it: Kiss, Truth or Dare.

Very fitting for someone's 35th birthday. Great.

-Whose turn is it now? -Eva's.

Right then.

-Dare. -Dare... No, no.

Tell a truth. Tell us things about this guy.

-Man, I don't see the fun in that. -Me neither.

-Dare. -Dare... Okay.

Show us what you learned in your clown class.

-Class...? -Clown class.

-Exactly, she wants to be one. -You're evil, eh?

-Do some tricks or something. -Sure.

-Go on. -Go on, Eva.

-You said dare. -Do it. It's his birthday.

I'll do it. Just a second. I've got it, okay.

It's that way.

Who's that there? Hi!

Cheez, what we got 'ere? Lotsa people, eh?

Woss goin' on 'ere? Woss goin' on?

A kek!

A kek... A birchday kek.

-This eez a birchday kek. -Hey, be careful.

The shair, the shair's fine. Look, another shair, it's fine.

This is a birchday kek. Shall we shing?

Happy birchday...

No, no, careful, careful, careful.

Ees alright!

-Happy birchday! -Thanks.

Great!

-Very good. -Very good, very good.

You were good. Great.

Very brave, very brave.

Terrific, honey. Terrific, fucking great.

-Good, honey, really good. -Well...

-Very cool. -Yes.

-Well then, some shots? -Go on.

-The Jäger's run out. -And the ice.

I don't care, I'm on beer, but there's no ice, okay?

Okay, I'll go buy it. I can get some air.

-Cool. -I'll go with you.

-No, I'll go, you relax. -No, I don't mind.

Neither do I.

I don't mind.

Honey, it's my house. I don't mind, really. Sit down.

Come on, hit the street.

Hey, that thing you just did, the clown thing,

does it have a future?

There are no potato sticks, there's nothing.

Then get corn chips. No one's going to eat them.

You saw the potato omelet, it's all left over.

It's supposed to be the queen of the party.

People come and gobble it up, but it's there, untouched.

Was it not nice?

-Are you getting ice? -Alright.

Hello.

Hello.

How are you?

Good, we're out for a walk.

-It's weird, huh? -Why?

You didn't answer my messages.

I know, I'm the worst. I'm sorry.

You unmatched me and I didn't have your number.

-That was mean. -I haven't been on Coupler long.

Okay, cool, but a little respect.

You can't come around one fine morning to suck my cock,

swallow my semen and then... not answer me.

It's not good, no.

No, I thought it worked like that.

-Okay. -No, sorry, it's just...

You're so young and cute

that I was surprised that you wrote to me, I didn't understand.

Dafne, you don't have to explain.

No, but I want to. You seem really nice,

but I thought if a guy like you goes on Coupler,

then he doesn't want a relationship.

No, I don't want one. But you can't just turn up,

give someone a blowjob and vanish.

I don't know how Coupler works, but it's not good.

You're right, I'm an idiot.

Okay.

Okay... okay I'm an idiot

or you forgive me for behaving like an idiot?

You're full of preconceptions.

Maybe, yes.

You see me younger than you and you make up, project or think...

No, I'm not making anything up.

I mean, look at me.

I'm looking at you.

Look at us. Look.

- We make a nice couple. - Come on.

It was obvious I didn't want to have a bad time, you know?

I've only had one Coupler date

and it was actually... kind of average.

Sure, but you could've worked at it a bit more.

Or didn't you think we'd ever meet again

and you'd feel like shit for not answering me?

Take my number.

-I don't want it. -Yes, you do, take it, please.

-Sure, but I won't call you. -Okay.

Well, I'll write it down and you do what you want. Here.

Thanks.

Hey, look...

Why don't we do like in the movies?

Start over, introduce ourselves, okay?

-Like in the movies... -Hello, I'm Dafne.

-Are you serious? -Yes.

Fuck, what a loser, I don't do that shit. Christ!

-Please... -Like the fucking movies, she says.

-Go on. -'Bye, cutie.

-What are you planning? -No, some girl who dumped me.

Who's the cute guy?

Someone I unmatched because I'm an asshole.

Yes, they look at me weird, don't you realize?

You're so paranoid. No.

People don't care about anything, they don't care about you.

No, I know. I'm going tell them: "Guys, guys, guys. Guys!"

I'll explain, no, I'll tell them...

-No, you don't have to say anything. -Yes.

Because they think I'm an opportunist, or a weirdo.

I don't know what they think, but it's not good.

-I'm not surprised. -Shrug it off.

But let's act like it's all normal, because it's fucking weird for me.

And if I see you looking glum...

-I don't say anything? -You don't say anything.

-No? -It's worse.

And my hair's terrible too.

That wax you gave me doesn't work, it pulls my hair down.

-Go on. -I look awful.

-He's stressed out, poor guy. -Yes, no, I look awful, horrible.

You're the cutest.

-Really? -Of the whole party, yes.

Well, okay.

You get hard really fast.

Babe, what do you want me to do? You get me so horny.

I'm like a 15-year-old.

-Shall I whip it out? -No.

-Yes, a little. A little. -No.

There it is, trapped,

it wants to come out and say hello. Just a bit.

I don't want to fool around, I need a piss

and I don't want it to be like a sprinkler.

Can I watch?

While I piss?

Go on.

Come closer.

How naughty!

Then everyone started laughing.

But look, when I say everyone, I mean everyone, everyone.

My mother, my aunt Amparo, my uncle Juan,

my cousins,

Pilarín... Well, well, Pilarín...

Pilarín was cracking up

and I'm there vomiting like a fool!

But hey, I was laughing too.

They were all laughing and I said me too, then.

Then I thought: What is this?! Do you know what...?

I mean, check it out, eh? Check this out...

I can vomit and laugh at the same time.

It's crazy. Just insane.

What is this? It smells like herbs... What is it? Does it smell like herbs?

This is very weird. What did you give me, guys?

What did you give me?

What did you give me?

-What are you thinking about? -Nothing.

What?

-You don't give up, do you? -Tell me.

I'm not into anyone. That's what you want to know, right?

There you go, you know I don't care about that stuff.

-I'm doing fine. -But you never tell us anything.

Because I'm reserved, okay? I'm reserved.

So accept me and don't judge me.

Girl, if you tell me your stuff, what do you want me to do?

Do I force you? You're a blabbermouth,

it's your personality, I accept it. It's fine.

But leave me alone, girl, you're so insistent.

Yes, I understand all that.

-But you're acting weird. -Jeez... you're so stubborn.

Go on, what?

I'm not telling you, I'm not telling you, I'm not.

It's my life, my stuff. I'm not telling you.

-I got it on with a girl. -What?

It was on the tip of my tongue and I had to let it out

because I had to tell someone.

You cheated on César, girl?

Well, cheated on him...

Well, yes, we fucked and everything.

-And you haven't told him, right? -No.

You have to tell him, honey.

-What for? -Because of fidelity.

Because you have a pact of fidelity, I suppose, right?

Yes. I don't know, we haven't discussed it much.

You haven't discussed it much because it's taken for granted.

-I don't know. -Honey, you do know.

You love him, you're going to marry him.

It's only fair he should know. Hey, I'd love to know.

And when Manuel told me he'd been flirting with a ton of...

Sure, but I can't tell him, Dafne, he'll get mad,

shout at me and it didn't mean anything to me,

so I don't know why I have to tell him.

Out of honesty. It's good that he knows.

I can't tell him because he'll leave me.

Right then, it's up to you.

You shouldn't have told me.

I'm sorry. I don't know.

-We're friends. -No, we're not that close.

It's a fucker. What do I do with this information?

Obviously I'm not going to tell him but now when I see him

I won't be able to think of anything else, girl.

-It's so unfair. -I'm sorry, okay?

-I wanted to let off steam. -I understand, I do.

Who is it?

Nobody.

Raquel.

Raquel.

-What a fuck-up, girl. -Right.

She's taking it well, actually.

No, she's not taking it well.

She's hooked, she's fucking heartbroken

and she puts up with seeing the girl she likes with her boyfriend.

And she's so pitiful, she goes to the boyfriend's birthday party

to be close to her in case she gets an opening. Pathetic.

So, shots?

-Shots? Shots? -Fuck, what a pain, man.

What's your problem with me? Can't you see I'm chilled out?

I don't like people shouting next to me. You spat all over me.

Shots, shots...

You want shots? Have them. You don't need anyone's approval.

-You're a big boy, right? -Yeah.

-You're being a bit unbearable. -What do you mean?

-Fucking relax a bit. -Shots, shots...

-What an asshole, man! -Cut it out.

Why are you so annoyed that I'm hooking up with him?

-I'm not annoyed, I don't care. -No, not at all.

But you amaze me. You said he was an asshole.

-And now the whole party... -Yerai, you're always needling.

And pestering people. It's not funny anymore.

I think you want to ridicule me and make me look bad

so we'll look the other way.

I'm kidding. But relax, I won't talk to you.

-Thanks. -What is it?

-Put it on. -Oh my God.

I thought it was your thing.

-I dig it. I don't know... -Winter's almost over and that.

-But I thought it was very you. -Yeah?

Anyway, if you think so... Thanks a lot, man.

- And this? - It's from me. Who else?

The box is from something else. It didn't fit in anything else.

Whoah, dude! Master System II!

Yes, well, as you see, it's second-hand, but...

I couldn't find it and bought it from a guy on Wallapop.

Come on! And with Alex Kidd!

Fuck, we gave him a jacket worth almost 200 bucks

and you, a second-hand console in a shoebox.

-Perfect, girl, perfect. -Fuck, it's important to me.

I'd binge the hell out of it with my dad when I was a kid

and then it broke, or whatever and...

It was one of the few things we'd do together. Fuck.

It's great, girl, I'm really excited.

Thanks.

I've got a present too, but it's in the bedroom.

-Come with me? -Sure.

You're shitting me. That's the present?

-What? -Fucking is the present?

-Seriously, man? -Fuck!

You don't have a present for me too? My God!

My God, that's what I say.

But... just like that, César! You're 35, you won't get it up.

It's the bastard's birthday and he leaves us here alone.

A quickie and right back. Don't shit me!

What's wrong?

Honey, you're flat broke.

I've been saving. It's a silly thing, but...

I'm really excited.

-Shut up! Tickets for Tame Impala? -Yes.

-In Berlin? In fucking Berlin? -Yeah, babe.

I've been looking at flights, okay? If we get them now, they're a steal.

We never travel, and... And to sleep... we'll see.

Sure, we'll see. Fuck, I'm so excited, honey. Thanks.

Really? Look, if they don't play our song, I'll kill them.

I love you. I love you loads.

-Honey. -What?

I did something that...

What?

Don't scare me. What?

-Thanks for telling me to come. -How could I not tell you?

Sure, but this is all very strange.

Very, but you're my friend.

Right.

-Is the bathroom free? -Yes.

Fuck, I'm pissing so much lately. My bladder's the size of an olive.

The curry sandwiches are all ready to toss.

-No one touched them. -No wonder.

It's like eating wet cardboard.

-And stop it, eh? -What?

What? Giving him goo-goo eyes. You can tell...

My God, you can tell. Cut it out.

Shut up. Go on.

You want to bang him, it's wild. You have no shame!

Honey, I don't want to bang him, it'd be like... incest.

You know I've always been super-affectionate with him.

-Your eyes sparkle. -And your breath smells.

Stop drinking. Stop it.

I don't like him...

...that much. I don't know. Leave me alone, please.

And the gift? The gift, wow.

You couldn't give him a T-shirt from Pull&Bear.

No, she's more, she's special.

-You have to lower the bar a bit. -About what?

Everything.

You could slow down, you're chugging the whole bottle.

Right, and what do I do? This party fucking sucks.

We can go dancing later, right? Whatever.

-To that night club or something? -I'm going for a piss.

Well, then...

My God! It's like...

Isn't it his birthday? And he goes off to bang his girl.

I mean, they couldn't wait.

This party sucks, what a load of shit.

One's asleep, the other's a drag,

and they're in there fucking. It's un-fucking-believable.

If we shut up, we'll hear them. You'll see, shut up a second.

You're the only one talking.

Don't cry, honey.

Don't cry.

Or yes. Yes, cry...

Crying's good, right?

She told him, yes. Because why the fuck not,

it seemed to her that his birthday,

after giving him tickets to a concert they'll never go to,

was the right time to tell him she was unfaithful.

Bravo for her!

Look at him, the kid's a mess.

Okay, it's alright, it's fine.

She cheated on you, eh? It's not fine.

-It's not fine, César. -No.

It pisses me off, but...

If you say it didn't mean anything, why would it change anything? Right?

I love you.

Do you love me?

Of course I love you.

I told you because I don't want to feel like I'm lying to you.

I feel bad, but I also think about it and...

Fuck, it's no big deal, right?

No, tell me. It's no big deal.

I don't know.

I'm kind of to blame as well. Fuck. I'm so slack.

-No, honey. -Yes, shit.

I come home from work exhausted, I doze off...

Maybe I've been neglecting you and I'm to blame as well.

What a nice guy.

She thought he'd yell, like he does when he's mad,

that he'd send it all to hell.

And deep down she liked the idea. Why?

Because though she may say that she loves him...

Honey, I love you.

I love you loads.

She doesn't love him. She thinks she loves him.

She wants to love him, but she doesn't

and inside she's repeating in a loop:

I don't love him, I don't love him, I don't love him...

Honey, we're getting married.

That's it, it's fine.

Thanks for telling me. I'm sorry you had it rough and...

That's it, okay? For me, it's all forgotten.

-Yes? -Yes, yes.

My girlfriend got it on with another girl.

All very modern, right? You'll tell me the details.

Hey, don't be a pig.

Then I don't forgive you.

Happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you,

happy birthday, dear César,

happy birthday to you.

Make a wish!

Guys, guys, a Boomerang!

Okay, a Boomerang. It's so 2017!

-Tag us, eh? -Bring the cake.

On three, okay? One, two and three!

THAT KISS THAT DAFNE FORGOT...

It's not working!

No! No! No!

No, no! What are you doing? No!