Original subtitles

Whoa, dude!

She dreams of a beach.

And in her dream, he appears.

She knows it's a chroma, but not a green chroma.

She likes the white chroma, which isn't really a chroma.

She likes white and it's her dream.

And the music comes in...

A shabby version of the lambada, wild.

They're breathing so close.

-Did you just pant? -What? No.

-What were you dreaming, dirty girl? -How dare you!

You had a fuck-fest last night.

-Did you hear us much? -Yes, obviously.

I did. It was awful. You said, "Whoa, dude".

-I said that? No. -Yes, you did.

-You said it. -I didn't.

You said "Whoa, dude".

-I don't say that when I'm fucking. -Yes, you did.

-What are you making? -Coffee. Want some?

There are no capsules.

No, but Martina likes this more. It's tastier.

-Smells great, eh? -Yes.

-It's a nice day. That's cool. -I can tell you're not going to work.

I got the day off because Juancho's coming.

-Is he staying long? -I don't think so. Why?

No, no reason, I don't care.

-I'm hitting the shower. -Don't use all the hot water, please.

-No. -Okay.

DAFNE AND THE REST

-Hi. -Hi, honey.

-How are you? Did you sleep well? -No, actually.

-How come? Go back to bed. -No, I can't sleep now.

Listen...

Oh. "Listen..." Jeez.

What?

-Nothing, never mind. -Tell me.

Nothing. Forget it.

Don't ask her again, you dummy. Act natural. Shower, dry off and...

You know we have a problem, right?

-What? -I want to marry you.

Okay? Don't get scared, but we have a problem.

-A bathtub that's too big? -Stop! Are you an asshole?

-Sorry. -You do know that I don't come?

-What? No. -Fuck, César. It's...

It's my fucking fault. I always make little sounds,

so it seems like I'm coming,

because I like it when we do it, but I don't get there, not at all.

-Why didn't you tell me before? -I don't know.

I'm telling you now.

Look, forget it, okay? We'll talk.

But I love you, okay?

There he is, a soggy dope.

He'd been fucking and he was happy, about to enjoy his day off,

and now the day's screwed. What a loser.

Even more so when the water goes cold in three, two...

Fucking hell!

Is it dirty stuff? If it is, don't tell me.

Please, girl. You get blander every day.

You're going backwards. It wasn't dirty.

It wasn't porn. We didn't do anything.

We just breathed really close. It wasn't sex. It was the lambada.

The lambada, that's nice, I loved it.

I danced to it when I was little at recess.

With the girls, don't get me wrong.

And I think we did it at the end of year.

Or did we lip-sync to it at the fair?

-At the fair? -Yes, the fair.

Hey, not the effigy thing.

The fair is like a venue where we meet up and do activities.

We do lip-syncing. With competitions and everything.

And we drink, girl, above all we drink.

Sometimes I think I've got an alcohol problem. I drink a lot.

What alcohol problem? I've seen you drink and you're fine.

No, I can't go out without drinking. I don't know. Was it a nice dream?

No, it was disturbing, obviously.

-It was incestuous. -Look, come here.

A typical woman who turns everything upside-down

a pile of stuff in a flea market, then she never buys anything.

-I'm going to say something. -I'll go. It's my mother.

-What? She's got nice hair. -What?

-Hello. -Hello.

-How are you? Need any help? -Help? You need help.

Sorry, Belén. Mom, what are you doing?

What else? Looking for something in my size.

-I'm working. -I didn't ask you anything.

Go back to your thing. Or start here, because the store's a mess.

-Why didn't you say you were coming? -I didn't know.

I went out to buy myself something.

I'm improvising. Besides, I thought you were off work.

-Why? -Because of your depression.

-Your face, dear, what a shame. -I'm not depressed.

Sure you're not, but it's fine, eh?

No wonder you are. I left him a message.

Who? Manuel? My ex?

Sure, it makes you look good.

Do you like this for me? Too hippy.

I've signed up for a family constellations course

with my friend Rebeca and I want to make a good impression,

because you scream and cry...

At least I'll look well-dressed.

Oh, my girl, both of us alone.

-You're not alone, you've got Dad. -You think so?

I think I've got nothing and much less him.

He spends all day with model trains in the garage.

-Besides, I don't love him. -What garage? You don't have one.

Yes, shit, the garage parking spot. The car didn't pass the inspection.

He got rid of it. He put a carpenter's table there

and goes down every day to work on his models.

Jeez, he spends all day blowing black snot out of his nose.

So, yes, girl, we're both alone.

Between me being old and you the way you are,

we'll both end up on the shelf.

-A pity, girl. The ship sails and... -Enough, Mom! Please, enough!

Yes, it's too hippy for you and I doubt we have your size.

Go to the mall in front there. Go on, move it.

You're so boring. Coming to lunch with me later?

-Okay. I get off at four. -No, that's late.

You have such strange hours in these crappy jobs.

You know what? Sometimes I get the feeling you enjoy my failure.

You do talk nonsense, dear! How can I enjoy your failure?

No, but it's plain as day and so is mine,

because I must've done everything wrong.

I'll save it for the family constellations,

I don't have to make anything up. I'm going to the mall.

Get better, eh? Buck up.

I'm fine.

-Your mom's pretty. You look alike. -No way.

-Why did she come? -For nothing. To put me down.

Kind of a long way, huh? We could've got a Cabify, a taxi...

It's right nearby. This way you see a bit of the city, right?

But I've lived here for three years.

I always forget. I don't know why.

My God.

By the way, I asked on Facebook about the room

and no one's said anything yet.

-It's tricky, isn't it? -Right.

-Hey, you're looking more handsome. -Come on, what are you on about?

-You've got a sparkle in your eyes. -What?!

-Yeah. -And you in that snazzy coat.

Fuck, so I fit in.

So, are you meeting someone?

I came to see César...

This morning we had a tiff.

But he's with his jerk friend Juancho and I don't feel like going up.

But... was it bad, bad?

A little bird told me you're going to get married.

-You're really getting married? -Yes.

That's great, getting married, right? It's so... retro.

-Very few people get married today. -Right.

Sorry.

My boss.

Hello?

No, Javi, I don't know.

Broken, broken... It's got a red spout,

a light that does nothing. The light doesn't come on.

Do I close up? What do I do if the coffee maker doesn't work?

Do I close up? Come on.

-I'm closing up. -I'll go.

No, finish your beer while I do the register.

-Okay. -Want a shot?

I always have a shot when I finish up.

Go on, okay.

-It's nice, eh? -Yeah.

It's a bit strong. Hey, wait!

-No, I wanted to smell it. -To you.

-Congratulations. -Thanks a lot.

What's up with your boyfriend, girl?

Nothing, he's wonderful.

What a problem, eh? Huge.

No, it's a bit personal.

-Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. -No, Raquel.

It's dumb, a sex thing. It's stupid.

Impotence? Is it small and warped?

-You don't finish? Premature? -The third.

-Small and warped. -No, I...

I hardly ever finish.

Well, never.

That's not a problem. He can learn.

Guide him, explain, make it easy. Have you told him how you like it?

How he has to do it, how to touch you, that stuff.

-That's no problem, girl. -Sure, I know it's dumb, but...

I feel weird finishing up later, you know?

When he's done, it's all over.

No one's done until you are.

You're right about that too.

All right, you talked about it and what did he say?

No, I handled it badly. I got mad and didn't let him speak.

-All right. -What are you doing?

Raquel, I don't want any more.

Yes, you do.

My God.

My God.

-To you. -To us.

What have you got there? Zucchini omelet, I think.

I don't know how old it is, but it's fine. Want some?

Go on.

Let's see.

Well, I don't know.

Hey, are you still with that hot girl?

-Yes. -How did you trap her?

I don't know. She trapped herself.

Fuck! Yeah, yeah. But what do you give her?

I don't give her much.

Well, we're getting married.

-What? Seriously? -Yeah, man.

Fuck! Congratulations, man! I... I don't know.

I'm glad, she seems like a fucking great girl.

Getting married... Fuck, that's wild.

She's great. I love her...

Why are you down about it?

-I'm not down about it. -Yes, a little.

No, shit. No.

-Want another one? -All right, then.

This morning we had this thing...

-Never mind. -Never mind? Tell me!

No, I don't like talking about my stuff.

You have to get me really drunk.

I'm in no hurry.

Who sleeps in that room, man?

It's a girl's room, right?

-You don't listen. -I do listen to you.

-Dafne! -Do I know her?

Sure, you've seen her a few times.

But a while ago, when she had a beard.

Shit, your friend who had a sex change.

She lives here? Shit! Okay.

You don't need to whisper. Besides, she's not here.

Fuck, that's wild, man.

You guys are so modern.

-I've got tons of questions. -No, don't ask her. Don't be rude.

No, shit, in a nice way. Relax.

Can you tell she was a guy much or not?

Yes. I don't know.

It's weird, I've known her for so long that...

It's like... You know Berto, my actor buddy?

When I see his micro-theater and that stuff he does,

even though he's doing things very different from him,

I always see him, understand?

-Not much. -It's like...

But hey, wait.

Has she had the operation?

Yes.

-And what's it like? -What?

-Her pussy. -I've never seen it, Juancho.

No? Why not?

Because I don't want to see her pussy.

-Weren't you sleepy? Take a nap! -I'm not sleepy now.

Wait a second. Wait, so...

No, I haven't boned her! She's my friend. You dirtbag.

-Why the hell are you here? -I don't know.

-You're so annoyed that I ask you. -Fuck!

ÓSCAR, 35. BACK HERE AGAIN. TIRED OF GOING FROM FLOWER TO FLOWER.

I just got a match with a hot guy on Coupler.

What do I do? Do I write to him? What do I do? Oh, my God.

HI, CUTIE. HOW'S YOUR DAY?

He just asked her, "How's your day?"

He must really want to know the answer, wow.

The internet is so exposed...

-Hello, Juancho. -Oh! Hello.

-Here already? -Yes, so it seems. A few hours ago.

-Make yourself at home, okay? -Okay. Cool. I'm doing that.

Where's César?

He went for batteries, I think.

-And you? -We're here to hold a coven.

-Perfect. -Join in if you want.

No, I'm watching a thrilling program

about washing machine parts and I'm right into it.

Wow, yes. It does sound thrilling.

Let's choose what you're going to wear.

Oh, are you going partying?

This fool got a match on Coupler and she's meeting him.

-I'm the fool. -Cool.

Hey, Dafne, I'm really curious, I have to ask you.

What's it like not having a dick?

Nice to meet you, Juancho.

No, it's all right.

-Really? You asked her that? -I was curious.

You can't do that. Who the fuck are you?

-Juancho, César's friend. -You failed the firefighter exam.

-Yeah, in the flesh. And you? -A girl you made a bad impression on.

-I'm sorry. -"What's it like not having a dick?"

You really asked her that? What a total asshole.

I don't know anyone like you. You're César's friend?

-Yes. -Does he know you're an idiot?

I don't know. Maybe, yeah.

We once got into a fight at the door of a club

-just because I said... -Wow.

How disgusting.

That guy. That guy...

He's cute, but he's the worst. That guy's the worst.

-You think he's cute? -Look at the state of your closet.

My God! What's this? How hideous! It looks so cheap...

My God!

-I don't think I'll go. -Why not?

Don't go if you don't want to. Leave her alone.

I feel weird, kind of embarrassed. It'll all go south, for sure.

We just said some crap on the phone and now he wants to meet?

Sure, that's how it works. You talk and meet up.

-With any luck, you'll fuck him. -It's a first date.

We're not going to fuck. Not today.

Look, you go, meet him and see what happens.

No fear or expectations.

What sort of shit phrase is that? Put this on, shut up and go.

You're mean, Yerai.

What?

Why are you in the uniform? Coming or going?

Going and I'm late. Deal with it yourselves.

Have fun on the date. Tell us later in the group.

What group?

What group?

There she goes. She walks resolutely, but the fool is scared to death.

For no reason, it'll be typical.

She'll get there. They'll smile nervously.

They'll talk about politics, the latest season of Game of Thrones.

At the first opportunity, this boy's tongue,

who's much cuter than in the photos, look at those eyes, those eyes,

will be in her mouth, as expected.

-Hi. How are you? -Good.

-Nice to meet you. -Same here.

Oh, the nerves. But first a coffee, right then.

This guy's cool and sooner or later we're going to fuck,

so better sooner than later.

She got on her knees fast. He picked her up,

threw her on the bed and there they are, missionary-style.

But it's fine. They like it.

-Do you like it? -Yes.

-And you? -Very much.

You know what?

You're the first guy I've met on Coupler and all that.

Come on.

-No, I don't believe you. -Believe it.

How come you didn't...?

I don't know.

I don't know. I felt weird.

I guess I was scared. I don't know.

But when I got to the café and...

I saw you get up, smiling, to give me two kisses,

so cute, in your check shirt, I thought,

maybe it wasn't a bad idea.

No, it wasn't.

Hey, I don't know if you've been told this,

but I feel obligated to tell you.

What?

-You suck great. Yeah. -Come on. No.

It's... it's crazy.

-Come on. -It's wild. I had to tell you.

Wow. Thanks a lot. You've a really nice cock.

It's beautiful, seriously. That makes it a lot easier.

-It helps? -Yes, sure it helps.

You've got a little thing here.

-Hey, I'm getting dressed, okay? -Okay.

Do you want to order a Glovo? I can order Japanese.

Don't you love gyozas? I'm crazy about them, all of them.

Steamed, grilled, fried...

I don't care.

It's just... I think I'll go home.

-Already? -Yes, it's a bit late.

No it isn't.

Well...

We won't see each other again, right?

-I'm so silly. -No. Hey... I had an incredible time.

I think we have a lot in common. It's been great.

-Me too. So? -Well...

I don't know...

You do know, right? Tell me.

Well, I don't...

I don't see myself with someone like you.

So I don't think it makes sense to drag it out or overthink it.

Like me?

-Tall? Vivacious? Almost a redhead? -No, Dafne.

You know very well what I mean.

And you really seem nice.

I like you, but I'm sorry. I don't...

I don't know if I could handle this, how I'd do it.

I don't know how I'd introduce you to my mother, to my idiot brother,

what reaction he might have... I wouldn't know how to do it.

Wow.

Wow. This... Never mind.

And really, I repeat,

it's been incredible, I had a great time.

You seem like a really interesting girl, I like you,

but it's how I see it and I don't want to waste your time,

confuse you, or waste my time... and that's it.

And I hear myself and think,

yes, maybe all this is a prejudice of mine or whatever,

that I don't want to meet up again and I'm looking for excuses.

But I'm trying to be as honest with you as possible.

Well, you could've been before you fucked me, right?

So that I wouldn't feel like such an asshole and so ridiculous.

Excuse me for saying, but your profile said

you were tired of playing the field or some shit, right?

Sure, forgive me, but you can't blame me for your stuff.

I mean, if you're looking for a partner,

I think that's great,

but it's not my fault that this didn't gel.

We matched up on an app, had a terrific date,

slept together, it was great,

but I get the feeling that I'm betraying you,

like I dumped you before we went on a trip...

I think you had a good time. I had a good time. That's it.

That's not it. It's like...

I feel like I've been conned. I really do.

You saw what I was like when I came into that shitty café.

-You saw, right? -Yes.

So? Look, never mind, okay?

Relax, it's fine. Go. It's fine, really.

I don't know. I could've lied to you,

said I'd call you tomorrow and then vanished.

-That's not right either. -Honestly, I'd rather you had.

-Then I'll say I'll call you... -Are you laughing at me?

No, but it's just that I don't know what to say.

I promise I'm just trying to be honest.

You said that. Everyone's so obsessed with telling the truth!

Honesty sucks. It's overrated.

I don't want your honesty, Óscar. Thanks. See you later.

Dafne.

Nothing, just...

I think you should be careful,

watch out for yourself more and not be so open.

You're going to get hurt.

I have been already.

Bye.

What a dreamer and this is serious,

she was already imagining Christmas dinner with him,

introducing him to her family, being happy.

No, babe. And he clearly tricked you.

He doesn't care that she's like this. It was an excuse

because it seemed easier,

but he thinks that she's a screamer and a pain. The guy has a point.

I thought you weren't coming.

Me too.

But I felt bad about this morning.

Fuck, I feel like fucking shit.

Martina, I know I'm not a big talker, but...

Let's talk. Fuck, it's just...

This morning I got the impression that it was...

eating you up inside, and that's not fair.

If there's a problem, or I'm doing something wrong,

I want to know, fuck, not to find out

when there's no solution or when you're mad.

Honey, I'm not mad.

-Yes, a little. -No, really.

I want you to feel good, to have a good time.

-I have a good time. -But you don't have a great time.

Lie down.

Honey...

Are you drunk?

Have you been drinking?

Yes, a little... not much.

That's better.

-You reek of tequila. -Sorry. Does it bother you?

-Honey, really, it doesn't matter. -You lie down.

I'm not leaving here until you come.

Going to be long? I'm pissing myself.

-Come in. It's all right. -Thanks.

I saw in the group that it didn't go well with that guy.

-No. It was awful. -Jeez.

It was so predictable, a cliché. It makes me mad

that life treats me so trivially.

What do you mean?

You, as a guy, would you be with someone like me?

Yes, if it was someone cool like you, sure.

-You're saying that to comfort me. -That guy's an asshole.

You're saying that so I don't feel bad. He's not an asshole.

No way. He's smart, super-cute, nice...

-He's a chemist. -Hey, smart.

-Yes. -No way.

If he were smart, he'd leave a message,

"Sorry. Yes, I got scared." Naturally, it's a situation.

But then he had second thoughts and realized that all this,

thinking of the future, is stupid, and he likes you.

Then you go for it. Did he leave it?

-The message? No. -Then he's an asshole.

-What? -The dirty dishes are yours, right?

-I haven't had time to wash them. -Whoring around.

For nothing! Just to get the brush-off!

You son of a bitch! Hey, come here, come.

If you're going to fuck, keep it down. I want to sleep.

Don't worry. It's all done.

And that grin? What's up? Tell me. Tell me your stuff, I tell you mine.

-Because you want to. I don't ask. -Tell me, please.

-I'm not telling you anything. -Ha!

She hates washing dishes.

Picking leftovers out of the drain disgusts her.

But agonizing will do her good before going to bed.

You know, "Nobody's going to love me.

I'm almost fucking 37 and I share an apartment.

I hate getting up early for work" Life sucks. I'm ugly.

Time's ticking. Maybe I'll cry a bit."

Oh, more surprises.

Is it the Coupler guy here to declare his love?

She's really thinks so, I swear, it's wild.

-Hello. -What are you doing here?

-Where have you been? You look bad. -Can I come in?

Come in.

Have you got some water?

Yes, of course.

-I'm going to sit down, okay? -Okay.

Here, drink.

Nice and cool.

You're wasted. What did you take? Where have you been?

I don't remember.

-I kind of overdid it. -Why did you come?

I don't know.

I was passing by and... I felt like seeing you.

-I don't want us getting it on. -No.

I'm in a state...

I just need a little affection.

Okay.

Come here.

Mistakes, mistakes and more mistakes.

But oh! Don't they look comfy?

Wait, he's going to say something really funny.

I've got gonorrhea.

Hey, sorry.

I don't want to bother you,

but are you going to be long on the sofa?

It's just that I...

I'm going to sleep there.

I mean... Right.