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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:56,557 This is the story of a couple madly in love. 2 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,935 So mad, they drove each other crazy. 3 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,521 - Oh, fuck you, Travis Maddox. - Fuck you! 4 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:06,358 {\an8}You know, for someone who claims they're not a toxic male, 5 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,693 {\an8}you don't do a very good job. 6 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,027 {\an8}Oh, waah! 7 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:13,073 Another ten point loss for Travis in Abby's stupid married contest. 8 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:16,535 Aw, don't worry. You lost that contest a very long time ago. 9 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,246 Oh, really? Did you give yourself a ten point reduction 10 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,832 when you ran with your titties out on a public beach? 11 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,500 Or how about this morning? 12 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,628 Was your boyfriend surprised to see the carpets match the drapes? 13 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:27,588 Silence! 14 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:29,339 I'm sorry, Sister Bertrille. 15 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,920 You gonna let Mother Teresa push you around like that? 16 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:38,849 Por favor. Let's start from the beginning. Tell me how you fell in love. 17 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:44,104 Well, it all started at the Circle. 18 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:48,233 It's this underground fight club I'm a pretty big deal at. 19 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,611 Oh, the ego on you. 20 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,823 From the moment I saw her, I couldn't take my eyes off of her, 21 00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:57,910 which was a mistake, because I was fighting somebody. 22 00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,329 Then I caught her Insta-stalking me, 23 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,165 which was creepy, if she wasn't so adorable. 24 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:07,085 I was not Insta-stalking. Okay, maybe I was. 25 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,463 But he was all I could think about. 26 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:15,052 Then we went on this really romantic date and I knew she was the one. 27 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,805 Yeah, but I thought he was a total player. 28 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:21,391 He had a drawer full of sex toys and condoms. 29 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,744 So I made a bet with her, 30 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:26,688 and if I won, she'd have to be my roommate for a month, platonically. 31 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:27,898 Wall of China. 32 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:32,152 I lost the bet. And yeah, he was charming, but crazy. 33 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:34,112 And I didn't wanna date crazy. 34 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,616 I wanted a nice, normal guy like Parker Hayes. 35 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,785 Oh, God! 36 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,888 - Who he terrorized. - Why are you bringing that up? 37 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,248 - Because that's what happened. - Okay, Miss Honesty. 38 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,691 Why don't we talk about your morning flogging of the bishop? 39 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,044 - Bishop Gomez? - No, it's a euphemism. 40 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,447 - She was giving me a hand job. - This is not a confession. 41 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,132 - He's a priest! - And you're an asshole! 42 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:58,470 Anyhow, against my better judgment, I fell madly in love with him. 43 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,597 He even took me home to meet his brothers. 44 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,599 And just as everything was going great, 45 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,394 I get abducted by this Vegas gangster Benny 46 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,437 because I happen to be very good at poker. 47 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:11,567 - And then I saved her. - And then I saved him. 48 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,944 And then we found her stolen money, 49 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,322 ran away from the bad guys, and lived happily ever after. 50 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:22,202 Except we're not happily, I mean happy, which is why we're here. 51 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:26,123 Okay, um, why don't we start at "happily ever after"? 52 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,792 Was that your wedding night? 53 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,002 Uh... 54 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:33,380 - That's a little unclear. - Yeah. We were fucked up. 55 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,508 Okay, how about we start six days ago? When we woke up. 56 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,802 That might be helpful. 57 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,279 ♪ What can I do... ♪ 58 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,114 I never wanna leave this bed, pigeon. 59 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,742 ♪ Oh, I love you... ♪ 60 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:06,038 ♪ And what can I say... ♪ 61 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,332 Oh, baby. 62 00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,459 Mmm. 63 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,294 - Yeah, babe. - Shep? 64 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,004 I know what you want, baby. 65 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:18,550 You want the... the magic Maddox fingers, don't you? 66 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:22,387 Ooh, tickle, tickle. 67 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,770 You're not Mare. 68 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,688 Mare has brown eyes. 69 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,359 - What are you guys doing? - Nothing. 70 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,820 - Where's Mare? - Mare? 71 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,281 - Yeah. - Where is Mare? 72 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:42,741 I don't know. 73 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:47,204 - Mare... Pumpkin, where are you? - What the fuck happened last night? 74 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,832 - What the hell happened last night? - I... I don't know. I don't know. 75 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,251 - Whoa. - Where did all this money come from? 76 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:57,589 - Benny. - No. This is Benny's money right here. 77 00:04:57,673 --> 00:05:01,176 - I'm confused. - Oh, I think I went gambling last night. 78 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,844 Oh, my God, what is going on? 79 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,058 Oh, guys, hey, we're on TV. 80 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,935 Oh, my God. 81 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,187 - I guess you won? - Good work. 82 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,022 - So we all split it? - Lucky 13. 83 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,334 - There you go, camera. - I have no memory of that! 84 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,902 I don't remember that. I wonder what we sang? 85 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:23,365 - Pumpkin, you took care of me. - Yeah, 'cause I love you. 86 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,202 - Oh, babe. - Yeah. 87 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,705 - I fingered Travis. - What? 88 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:30,956 - What? - What? 89 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,040 What? 90 00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:34,459 What? 91 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,962 That's not real. 92 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:41,341 - I wouldn't do that. - It looks pretty real. 93 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:47,180 Oh, shit. Guys, look... look at the screen. 94 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,474 That's not real. 95 00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:53,311 - That's just us goofing around, right? - That's... That's funny. 96 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,606 Oh, shit. 97 00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,569 - Oh, my God. - Okay. Okay, Abby. 98 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,005 - We got married last night? - It's okay. 99 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,655 - Look at me. - Oh, my God. 100 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:06,450 This probably isn't an ideal way to do this, but I love you, 101 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,827 I really do love you, and I wish that my family was here 102 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,871 to see you and me like this. 103 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,164 I love you... 104 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,635 - Oh, Abby. - That's not what we needed. 105 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,238 Well, hey, listen, on the bright side, 106 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:31,558 I thought that... I thought that speech was very romantic. 107 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,814 Hello. 108 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:42,152 Hi, this is at the front desk with a reminder that checkout was an hour ago, 109 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:46,948 so there's gonna be a surcharge of about $180,000. 110 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,284 - You fucking ass-clowns. - What? 111 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,912 - Wait, is that Benny? - Benny? 112 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,580 - Who's Benny? - Benny? 113 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,142 - No, no, no, I got this. Don't worry. - No, I got this. Benny? 114 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,711 What is it with your generation and the utter lack of manners? 115 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,713 There's no "good morning, how's your day"? 116 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:04,508 Look, I know all about the con that you and my dad and Jesse 117 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,301 tried to screw me over with, okay? 118 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,261 Yeah, that's ancient history. 119 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:13,016 This is about Travis assuming your debt by fighting against Chernobyl. 120 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,728 - Money that I did not get back. - I have it. I'm hanging up on you. 121 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:20,941 Well, I can see who wears the balls in this relationship. 122 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,027 I wanna see the two of you in my office in an hour. 123 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:27,155 And don't you even think of skipping town. 124 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:30,075 - Buh-bye. - At least let me... 125 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:36,158 Come on, pool, let's go. Fucking look at me like that. Let's go. Damn! 126 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:37,958 - He's bluffing. - Yeah. 127 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,470 Gun! 128 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:55,308 Get him! Get him, get him! Baby, get him! 129 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,857 - Good job, baby. - Get in there, man! 130 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,359 - I'm proud of you. - Did you just fucking kick my cousin? 131 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,114 - He's down. It's okay. - Something to cool down with. 132 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:12,492 - Oh, God. Oh, my God. Guys. - No, no. Guys. 133 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,119 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 134 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,787 You like that? 135 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,123 - You thirsty? - You thirsty? Okay. Drink up! 136 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,916 - There you go. - Guys? 137 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,751 - Almost done. - Hold on. 138 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,212 Guys! 139 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,297 Oops. 140 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,715 Hello? 141 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,092 Anyone home? 142 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,138 - Jerry? - Attention! 143 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,978 Jerry won't be joining us. 144 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,314 Stupid son of a bitch did that keto thing 145 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,150 and is now pissing kidney stones the size of leema beans. 146 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,234 - Lima. - Huh? 147 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,987 - And you are? - Chief Warrant Officer Delroy Murphy. 148 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:53,074 But my friends and enemies call me Buzz. 149 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,620 Hi, Buzz. 150 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:02,000 Lady Hawk and I will be flying you down to Méjico. 151 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,545 - That thing can't fly to Mexico. - Don't tell me my business, sweet peach. 152 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:08,506 Lady Hawk has been retrofitted and modified! 153 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,677 - The Millennium fucking Falcon. - Oh! Star Wars! 154 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:20,143 I'll take you down to Méjico. No passports, no questions. 155 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:24,189 The whole enchilada for ten grand. 156 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,483 - Wow, that's pretty... - We'll take it. 157 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,194 What, like we have a choice? 158 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,531 Here. Here's 5K now. 159 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,576 And then I'll give you the rest when we make it there in one piece. 160 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,429 - I like your style. - What about getting back? 161 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,455 That's not my problem, Slotty. 162 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:48,880 Okay, um, you guys have fun with, uh, Lando Calrissian and his macho... 163 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,272 Roger! 164 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,526 Whoa! This is so cool! Wireless headsets. 165 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,947 - Hey, Buzz, you got Spotify on this? - You want an ass-whippin'? 166 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,366 I'm gonna be, uh, really honest right now. 167 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,994 This whole, uh, Vegas gangster 168 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,247 combined with fleeing to Mexico got me really on edge. 169 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,292 So... And I'm assuming that no one has any Xanax or alcohol. 170 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,545 - So I'm gonna need you... - Oh, babe. 171 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,588 - To follow me... - My sternum. 172 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:35,510 Into whatever the fuck that thing is and send me into a dopamine coma. 173 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:36,761 Okay. 174 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:42,726 Hello, mile high club. So... Oh... 175 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,978 - We're gonna have so much fun. - This is fun. 176 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,354 - Yeah. - This is fun. 177 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:57,157 A hundred and thirty-eight thousand, seven hundred and ninety-eight dollars. 178 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,241 Damn! 179 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,079 - What you doing? - I am texting Sancho. 180 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,331 Who's Sancho? 181 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:08,626 He is the concierge at a luxury villa in Gatito, Mexico, that I just booked. 182 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,754 Sounds out of our price range. 183 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:14,090 - You just said that we have $138,000. - Yeah, but I... 184 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,176 - And it's my honeymoon. - Well, sure. 185 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,510 It's my honeymoon. 186 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,972 - Hey, Buzz? - Yeah? 187 00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,725 - We're going to Gatito, Mexico. - Copy that. 188 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,269 - Thanks. - Happy wife, happy life. 189 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,813 Oh, yeah, that is... that is true. 190 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,111 Happy wife, happy life. 191 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,908 - Oh, come on. - What? 192 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:43,161 You can't tell me that you're not freaking out about this. 193 00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:50,794 Travis, we're married. That means that you're stuck with me forever. 194 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,963 Well, I have had some reservations. 195 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:57,759 Like the fact that you're beautiful, smart, 196 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,761 can make us a fortune in less than an hour. 197 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:04,057 But I will never, ever find anyone like you. 198 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,727 Love you so much. 199 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:31,459 Rise and shine, sleepyheads. 200 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,712 We have arrived at your destination. Méjico. 201 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:41,511 Open the door and get some air. Take in the view. Don't jump. 202 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,897 The plane, the plane! 203 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:56,443 It's much smaller, my love. It's a helicopter. 204 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,908 If you get into trouble, you know where to find me. 205 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,411 I also do hostage and rescue situations. 206 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,662 Thanks. 207 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:12,083 Well, you're a man of your word, Buzz, so, here you go. Thank you. 208 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,632 Hey, honey, I think it's this way. 209 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:31,936 ♪ My name is Sancho ♪ 210 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,771 ♪ And I want to welcome you ♪ 211 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,941 ♪ To Casa Suave ♪ 212 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:41,321 ♪ Arriba! Arriba! Arriba! Arriba! ♪ 213 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:45,033 - Hola! Señor y Señora Maddox! - Gracias! 214 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:51,116 And your best friends, Mr. Shepley and Miss United States. 215 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,833 Oh, no, America. 216 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,144 My name is America. 217 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,087 America! Home of the brave! 218 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,465 - Hello, Mrs. Maddox. - Hola! 219 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,717 Hello, United States. 220 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,679 Okay, okay, okay. So much to do and so little time. 221 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,268 Don't touch me. 222 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:28,493 Okay, welcome! Bienvenidos! 223 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:33,122 This is the room of living. 224 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,333 Here, we have everything. 225 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,169 If you have no clothes, I will give you clothes. 226 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,337 Do you have ESPN? 227 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,732 Because the Sacramento Kings are in the NBA finals tonight, 228 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,424 and I've waited my whole life for this. 229 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,051 ESPN, yes! 230 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,762 Yes! SUV, DUJ. 231 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,556 We have everything. 232 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,434 Right, but do you have ESPN? 233 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:59,315 ♪ I make dreams come true! ♪ 234 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:03,903 Look, my friend, blondie, you don't worry. 235 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:06,906 We have it, we have it, we have it! 236 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,242 Come on! Come, come, come with me. 237 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,578 Come, come, come, come, come. 238 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,830 ♪ Come, come, come, come, come ♪ 239 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:18,084 Señor Shepley y Señorita Estados Unidos. 240 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,753 - ♪ That's not my name ♪ - Come, come, come. 241 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,297 Un momento. 242 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,441 Oh, he said to wait. 243 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,468 Yeah, that's not happening, Señora Maddox. 244 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,346 Who says I'm taking Señora Maddox? 245 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,350 I like my name. Abby Abernathy is a great name. 246 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,935 It has a really good flow to it. 247 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:40,565 Oh, but Travis Abernathy? You could be trendsetting. 248 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:44,819 - You wanna castrate me too? - No. 249 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,654 - Hey, wait! - What? 250 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,450 You almost just crossed the threshold. 251 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,619 Oh! 252 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,221 - It's bad luck, you know. - Oh, my God. 253 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,581 You know we Maddoxes have our own form of this tradition? 254 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,416 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 255 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:02,086 Well, this isn't too barbaric. Oh, my God. 256 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,340 - Horny. - Oh, my God! This is so cute. 257 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,425 - Yeah! - Look, look, look! It has our initials! 258 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:11,512 Wait. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. I wanna get a photo. I wanna get a photo. Okay. 259 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,598 - No, I want you to hold me for the photo. - Okay. 260 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,600 - Lift me up. - Lifting. 261 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,311 - Smile. - Okay. Okay, okay. 262 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,855 Okay. Now get one of me on the bed. 263 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:27,654 No, actually, will you hold it lower? And then will you flip it? 264 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,238 - You like it? - I like it, yeah. 265 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,032 Will you do one more flipped the other way? 266 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,950 - Got it. I got it, I got it. - Got it? 267 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,869 - Okay, do you want one on the bed? - No. 268 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,374 No, but it was so cute with our initials on it. 269 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:43,252 T and A. It stands for titty and ass, 'cause you got the best. 270 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,587 Oh! 271 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,924 You are such a neanderthal. 272 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,593 Ooo-gah. Ooo-gah. 273 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,679 - Ooh. - Ooh-gah? 274 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,722 Ooo-gah hate this pillow. 275 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,766 Does Ooo-gah wanna consummate this marriage? 276 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,768 - Ooo-gah wanna fuck. - Yeah? 277 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,396 Ooo-gah. Ooo-gah. 278 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,326 Adios! 279 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,911 - No, thank you. - No, thank you! 280 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,913 - No, gracias! - No, thank you. 281 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:23,376 Thank you. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 282 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:29,006 I don't know about you, but hearing a traditional Mexican song about a cockroach 283 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,842 really gets me in the mood. 284 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,803 Here. How about this? 285 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,222 Thank you. Much better. 286 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,975 - Where were we? - Come here. 287 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:48,985 Condoms... 288 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,113 Shit. 289 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,032 Is this the only protection we have? 290 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:58,786 - I didn't bring any. Did you? - No. 291 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:02,540 Wait a minute. We don't need protection. We're married. 292 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:05,168 Easy, Dracula. 293 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:08,296 I'm too young to be married, let alone have a kid. 294 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,718 - We can pull out. - No. 295 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,637 I have complete control over my seminal fluid emission. 296 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:21,142 That's a cliché that's caused, like, thousands of unwanted pregnancies. 297 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:27,315 We could do other things. Other things like... 298 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,318 this. 299 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,697 That's interesting. 300 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:40,620 I was thinking other things like... this. 301 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:45,750 Ooh. That's interesting. 302 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,836 Yeah, this is good. 303 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,798 This is better, actually. 304 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,134 - This is fun. - This is fun. 305 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:58,179 - I'm glad we're doing this. - Yeah, right? I'm glad we're doing this. 306 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,307 - We should really do it more often. - I agree. No, this is great. 307 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,602 - Those are my balls. - Mm-hmm. 308 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,771 - It's cool. - A little faster? 309 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:11,275 Yeah, let's go really fast right now. Let's kick this up a notch. 310 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,155 Are you satisfied? I'm satisfied. 311 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,784 - No. - Come here. 312 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,744 - Okay. - Okay. 313 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:24,831 Get 'em off. Get 'em off. 314 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,796 - We're gonna be safe, right? - Yeah. 315 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,173 - You're not gonna get a drop! - I promise. 316 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,092 - Got it? - Mm-hmm. 317 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,766 - Just an inch. - An inch. 318 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,143 - Just an inch. - An inch. 319 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,229 Hey! 320 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,649 - Yeah. - Yeah. 321 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,110 It's a nice inch. 322 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,946 - Maybe like a little... - Another inch? 323 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,824 A little bit more. Like another inch? Yeah, okay, another inch. 324 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,367 - Whoo. - Another inch. 325 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,451 Another inch. 326 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,622 Yeah, but... maybe like a... 327 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,710 - You're gonna have to be more clear. - Maybe just... 328 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:11,836 I don't under... 329 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,213 Whoa. 330 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,257 Oh. Whoa. 331 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,842 - Ah. - Whoa. 332 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,468 - Now, that's in. - Yeah. Ah. 333 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:23,306 That feels way better without the rubber. Yeah, like, whoa. Okay. 334 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,893 Oh. Oh! Whoa. 335 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:32,315 - Babe, you're blocking my escape hatch. - Oh, I'm so close. 336 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:36,068 Well, I know, but so am I. That's why this is a problem. 337 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,029 - Oh, goddammit! - Oh! 338 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,576 - Go get me a condom, like, now! - Where? 339 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,786 It's not like there's a CVS across the street. 340 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,872 I don't know. Shep. Shepley must have condoms. 341 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,582 Okay, fine, I'm going! 342 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,007 Sorpresa! 343 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,175 Hola! 344 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,386 No, no, don't touch the pillow. 345 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,471 Uh... 346 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:11,395 Hey, Travis. You got any con... You got any condoms on you? 347 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,231 'Cause I... 'Cause I ran out. 348 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,001 Buenas noches, Señor Maddox. 349 00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:35,503 Buenas noches. 350 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,880 - You look like a man in love. - Thank you. 351 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,341 - A man's man in love. - Thanks. 352 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,969 - A man's man... man... - Where's my wife? 353 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,389 She's ready. 354 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,394 - Ta-da! - Wow. 355 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,938 - You look amazing. - Thank you. 356 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,524 So do you. 357 00:21:57,650 --> 00:22:00,152 Your dinner is ready. 358 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,321 Por favor. 359 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:12,289 - Wow. Look at this. - This is beautiful. 360 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:13,749 Thank you. 361 00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,336 Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. 362 00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,381 Sit. There you go. 363 00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:21,340 There you go. 364 00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:23,050 Very good. Very good. 365 00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:29,134 Now, Pino has prepared a traditional seven-course meal 366 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,268 for newlyweds especially. 367 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:36,188 - Thank you. - Okay. Enjoy. Huh. 368 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,483 Pino? 369 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:43,154 Well, here's to us. 370 00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:44,947 And happily ever after. 371 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,283 - I love you, pigeon. - I love you too. 372 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,958 So, I, uh, I made this. 373 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:58,586 - I didn't know we were doing gifts. - Yeah. 374 00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:01,839 It's just a little something I made on the flight while you were sleeping. 375 00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:05,676 - Travis, I love you so much. - I love you too. 376 00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:09,597 - What is it? - It's a pro/con list. 377 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,017 - To see if we should stay married or... - Or...? 378 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,519 Or we get a quick annulment. 379 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:19,023 Whoopsies. What happened? 380 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,900 Why is it so decorated? 381 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,527 I thought that maybe if you saw how much effort I put into it 382 00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:25,946 you would... you'd maybe like it. 383 00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:30,034 I don't like it. This is like getting cancer news framed. 384 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,202 This is a pro/con list. 385 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,954 Just to help us gain some clarity, only while we're here. 386 00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:38,709 And, look, I even gave us a 30-point head start because you have the biggest dick. 387 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:41,629 - Who's got a big dick? - This guy. 388 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:45,049 I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! 389 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:49,345 That is why you are so self-confident. 390 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:54,600 I knew a powerful and successful man 391 00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:57,645 who, alas, had a small dick... 392 00:23:57,728 --> 00:23:59,998 I'll agree to this if you get him to stop talking about it. 393 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:02,691 Deal. Sancho, what is this? 394 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:06,737 Soup. That is soup. That is the first course. Yes. 395 00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:07,981 Enjoy your meal. 396 00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:09,824 I shall be back. 397 00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:16,330 Yum. 398 00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:20,668 Mmm. This is amazing. 399 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:25,422 You know, this reminds me of this one time when I was really young. 400 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:29,844 I think I was... I don't know, I must have been around 12 or something. 401 00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:34,932 And my grandmother, she's passed, but she was so funny and wonderful. 402 00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,016 Well, screw her. 403 00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:39,478 - Screw my dead grandmother? - Oh. 404 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:44,483 - When do I get to meet her? - What? Travis, are you listening to me? 405 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:47,361 I'm sorry. I'm not feeling very well. 406 00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:50,114 I do not want to ruin this moment. 407 00:24:50,197 --> 00:24:52,449 I'm gonna run off and throw up. 408 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:55,619 - And I will be right back, okay? - Oh, no. Okay. 409 00:24:57,872 --> 00:24:59,582 I love you. 410 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:02,877 So happy we're married! 411 00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:07,131 - What's the score? - Fourth quarter just started. 412 00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,091 - We're down by 12. - Fuck! 413 00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:11,218 Yeah. 414 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,430 Dude, you're about to lose a thousand bucks. 415 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:17,057 Shit! 416 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,981 - Are you feeling better? - Uh, yeah. Feeling better. 417 00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:25,774 Mmm, soup. 418 00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:34,700 Oh, somebody liked the soup. 419 00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:37,119 Ah. It was delicious, Sancho. I'm stuffed. 420 00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:40,080 No, that is only the first course, señor. 421 00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:42,249 - There are six more. - Six? 422 00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:44,293 Can we bring them all out at the same time? 423 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,337 - Uh, sure. - That's not how it works, Travis. 424 00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:48,797 - Well, I'm just trying to be efficient. - No, it's okay. 425 00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:52,009 Okay, it's not a problem. I can handle this. 426 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:54,595 - Pino! - It's fine. It's fine. 427 00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:57,348 - No, please. - I... No triangle. 428 00:25:58,557 --> 00:25:59,600 It always works. 429 00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:02,228 Pino, where are you, shithead? 430 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:08,025 - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. 431 00:26:10,444 --> 00:26:12,279 - So, how's your dad? - What? 432 00:26:13,989 --> 00:26:16,951 I'm sorry. I was just trying to make conversation. 433 00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:18,619 I'm not feeling too good. 434 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:22,498 - Score? - We're down by two. 435 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:23,582 Yes! 436 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:27,628 - Dude, you can't miss this! - Fuck dinner, fuck dinner. 437 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,255 - One minute. - Yeah. 438 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,718 - Okay, there we go. There we go. - Whoo. 439 00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:40,849 Oh, you can just leave that next to his soup. He's not feeling well. 440 00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:43,769 Yeah! Ah! 441 00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:47,773 - Oh! - Oh! Oh, my God! 442 00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:50,651 - Oh, my God! Let's go, baby! - It's happening! It's happening! 443 00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:52,653 Come here! Come here, baby! Come here! 444 00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,655 - Whaa! - Come here. 445 00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:59,285 - Dude, I can't believe it! - Fucking blow my back! 446 00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:01,620 - Blow it out! - Whoa! 447 00:27:01,704 --> 00:27:03,080 - Blow my back! - Okay, okay. 448 00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:06,709 - Oh! Maddox special. - Maddox special. 449 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:08,544 Wait, wait, wait. I need to look sick. 450 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,546 Oh, yeah. You look a little too good. 451 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,256 - Soak me! - Okay. 452 00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:13,340 Soak me! 453 00:27:14,508 --> 00:27:15,509 Fucking get me! 454 00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:22,057 Are you okay? How's your tummy? You look a little bit clammy. 455 00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:26,437 I'm... fine. 456 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,813 I was, um... 457 00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:32,234 The game and... How mad are you? 458 00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:36,071 Well, you bailed on wedding night dinner. Minus five points. 459 00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,490 You lied. Minus five points. 460 00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:42,328 And then you insulted my dead grandmother. Minus five points. 461 00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:43,912 Shit, that's a lot of points. 462 00:27:44,955 --> 00:27:48,375 Knowing he had fucked up really bad, 463 00:27:48,459 --> 00:27:52,880 Travis planned the happiest two days of Abby's life. 464 00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:52,958 Left hand green. 465 00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:55,919 Fire in the hole. 466 00:29:58,172 --> 00:30:01,675 If you were smart, you'd quit. 467 00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:06,221 - Yeah, but then you'd never respect me. - Who says I ever respected you? 468 00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:12,895 Oh, no. Oh! No, don't. Don't you... 469 00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:16,106 - Okay, you know what? - No, no, no, no, no, no! 470 00:30:16,190 --> 00:30:17,566 - Why, dude? - Stop. 471 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,860 ♪ What's a matter you, hey ♪ 472 00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:21,862 ♪ Gotta no respect, hey ♪ 473 00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,864 ♪ What a you think you do, hey ♪ 474 00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:25,824 ♪ Why you looking so sad, hey ♪ 475 00:30:25,908 --> 00:30:27,868 ♪ It's not so bad, hey ♪ 476 00:30:27,951 --> 00:30:29,578 ♪ It's a nice a place ♪ 477 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,163 ♪ Ah shaddap-a you face ♪ 478 00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:37,294 Oh, oh, oh, oh. You're a stork. Yeah, you're an angry stork. 479 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,714 I... I don't know. I don't... What are you doing? 480 00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,382 - Damn. What? - You're... 481 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:45,511 - Baby pterodactyl. - Thank you. Thank you. 482 00:30:45,594 --> 00:30:46,470 How did you get that? 483 00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:49,181 You're good at cards, I'm good at charades. 484 00:30:49,264 --> 00:30:50,432 I'd love to just hunt one. 485 00:30:50,516 --> 00:30:53,894 Have a little baby pterodactyl above the fireplace. 486 00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:57,606 How about we just stick to deer? You're up. 487 00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:02,318 Movie. 488 00:31:03,237 --> 00:31:05,405 - American in Paris. - Yes! Winner. 489 00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:07,241 - This is rigged. - How's it rigged? 490 00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:09,868 She pointed to me, and it's her favorite movie. 491 00:31:09,952 --> 00:31:12,162 I didn't know that was your favorite movie. 492 00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:13,830 I've always planned on living in Paris. 493 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:16,792 How am I gonna pursue criminal justice living in Paris? 494 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,378 I don't know. 495 00:31:20,254 --> 00:31:24,383 I mean, I also didn't know that we were gonna get married after three months. 496 00:31:27,761 --> 00:31:31,682 Okay, new game. Um, how about Never Have I Ever? 497 00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:36,603 My favorite game. I always lose, you know. 498 00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:41,400 Okay, I will start. Never have I ever joined the mile high club. 499 00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:45,529 - The mile high? - Sex on a plane. 500 00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:52,703 Um, long time ago back when, uh, Pan Am, 501 00:31:52,786 --> 00:31:55,330 I satisfied many. 502 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,416 - Oh, did you? - You? 503 00:31:57,499 --> 00:32:03,171 Yeah, yeah, no, I... I've broken down a few lavatory doors on United myself. 504 00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:07,593 No. I knew we had something in common. 505 00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:11,430 - Yes, my friend. - Yeah. Yes. 506 00:32:11,513 --> 00:32:12,639 I'm gonna go for a walk. 507 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:17,227 Uh-oh. I said something bad. 508 00:32:17,311 --> 00:32:20,439 - What's her problem? - What's your problem? 509 00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,618 You wanna talk about it? 510 00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,412 Talk about what? 511 00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:39,124 How we're married and we barely know each other? 512 00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:42,419 - That's not true. - I mean, kind of. 513 00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:47,466 I wanna move to Paris, and apparently you love having sex on airplanes. 514 00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:51,470 Have you ever stopped to think maybe why I'm against an annulment? 515 00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:53,353 What couple do you know that has survived one? 516 00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:57,683 Hmm? 517 00:33:02,105 --> 00:33:03,440 I see your point. 518 00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:10,447 Look, if you're worried about Paris, screw it, let's move to Paris. 519 00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:15,327 I can promise you, we'll never have a dull moment. 520 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:18,622 I have no doubt. 521 00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:22,417 Speaking of which, have you ever had pool sex? 522 00:33:23,377 --> 00:33:24,878 Excuse me? 523 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,509 Is it anything like shower sex? 524 00:33:30,592 --> 00:33:33,553 It is. Only it's a lot prettier in movies. 525 00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:36,807 Well, I think I'm gonna pass on anything of yours entering me 526 00:33:36,890 --> 00:33:38,725 until it's wearing a raincoat. 527 00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:48,068 Abby and Travis thought the worst was over, 528 00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:51,822 but the worst was yet to come. 529 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:16,096 Oh! 530 00:34:17,472 --> 00:34:20,851 Wow. Oh! Ooh. 531 00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,732 - Yeah? - Throw, catch. 532 00:34:26,815 --> 00:34:29,109 Throw, catch. Throw, catch. 533 00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:32,195 You have such good coordination. I don't think I could do it. 534 00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:39,995 Ooh. So close. Again? 535 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:42,622 Throw, catch. Throw, catch. 536 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:46,710 - Morning. - Buenos días, señor Maddox. 537 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,756 Those are good grapes, huh? 538 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:55,302 I guess you don't like 'em. 539 00:34:58,263 --> 00:35:00,015 Órale. 540 00:35:09,649 --> 00:35:11,735 - I should get back to work. - Yeah. 541 00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,494 - It's cute, right? - Oh, it's adorable. 542 00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,746 - Would you hunt this? - What? 543 00:35:22,829 --> 00:35:25,373 - Have this up on your mantle? - What? 544 00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:29,961 - That's a lot of salt, babe. - Yeah, I like salt. 545 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:31,338 Do you not know that about me? 546 00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:33,048 Buenos días. 547 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,132 - Buenos días. - Hey. 548 00:35:34,216 --> 00:35:35,217 Good morning. 549 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,566 - Is that all I get? - I said hi to you this morning. 550 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:55,278 Oh. Is that what that was, when you showed your cock to the worker? 551 00:35:56,822 --> 00:36:00,116 Well, you were so busy juggling balls, I thought I'd show you mine. 552 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,995 - Can't have everything, I guess. - Yeah, guess you can't. 553 00:36:11,795 --> 00:36:14,381 Hey. So what's going on? What happened this morning? 554 00:36:15,215 --> 00:36:16,967 Come on, talk to me. 555 00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:18,861 Well, there was this guy, and he was outside juggling. 556 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:20,822 - And I've always wanted to know how to... - Mare! 557 00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:23,890 - What is wrong with everyone today? - Mare, where are you? 558 00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,810 So, your new friend gonna join us down at the beach? 559 00:36:26,893 --> 00:36:30,647 His name is Miguel, and, no, because you scared him off with your big dick. 560 00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:31,815 Mare! 561 00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:36,027 Hey, guys. Hey, hey. Have you seen Mare? 562 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:43,118 - Look, I know I can be possessive. - You? No. 563 00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:46,496 - I just don't like when guys touch you. - Well, Travis, you have to get over that. 564 00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:48,331 What if I have a male gynecologist one day? 565 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,292 Why would you have a male gynecologist 566 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,377 when there's perfectly good female gynecologists? 567 00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:54,254 What about female empowerment? 568 00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:55,940 Isn't that what the diversity movement's all about? 569 00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:58,383 Oh, my God, I hate you right now. 570 00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:00,510 Look who's not being progressive. 571 00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:02,470 Mare? 572 00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:03,972 Mare? 573 00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:07,559 - You miss me? - Ugh. 574 00:37:09,895 --> 00:37:13,106 Hey. Hey, have you guys seen a small American girl? 575 00:37:14,024 --> 00:37:15,942 We don't speak English. 576 00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:20,238 We're looking for our friends. 577 00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:21,990 Whoo. 578 00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:24,618 You must have a lot of friends. 579 00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:26,453 Whee! 580 00:37:26,536 --> 00:37:28,204 Uh... Uh... 581 00:37:28,288 --> 00:37:31,791 Our friends are from the United States. 582 00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:33,752 Are they as cute as you are? 583 00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:37,464 I'm Blanca. 584 00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:38,547 I'm Travis. 585 00:37:39,299 --> 00:37:40,926 Are you here on vacation? 586 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:43,762 Yes - vacation. 587 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:44,763 Yes! 588 00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:46,473 Are you having fun? 589 00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:49,559 It's a good color, right? 590 00:37:49,643 --> 00:37:51,329 - She didn't like the color before. - Oh. I didn't. 591 00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:53,188 I don't speak English! 592 00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:55,190 Oh, yeah. Sí, Inglés. 593 00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,274 And this? 594 00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:59,653 Watch. It gets bigger. 595 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,863 It took a while. 596 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:06,325 What does it mean? 597 00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:08,036 Oh, yeah. It's... 598 00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:09,579 Ah. 599 00:38:09,663 --> 00:38:11,122 One moment... 600 00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:15,585 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. 601 00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:18,964 - Where'd you go? - You seemed distracted. 602 00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:21,025 Well, I was just trying to find out where our friends were. 603 00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:22,689 I didn't ask them to take their tops off. 604 00:38:22,759 --> 00:38:24,177 Oh, okay. 605 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,346 Look, look, look, look. It's a topless beach. 606 00:38:26,429 --> 00:38:29,724 See? I don't make the rules here. Boobies, boobs, tits. 607 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:33,770 Yeah. Yeah! Travis, you know what? You're right. 608 00:38:33,853 --> 00:38:36,773 Thanks. No, honestly, I wasn't trying to cause trouble or anything. 609 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:41,277 - What are you doing? - You said it was a topless beach. 610 00:38:41,361 --> 00:38:43,905 - That doesn't apply to foreigners! - Oh, that is absurd. 611 00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:45,716 - Photos! Portraits! - You're absurd! 612 00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:47,075 Please... 613 00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:50,829 - What is this, OnlyFans? Fuck off! - You're a psycho! 614 00:38:50,912 --> 00:38:54,082 - Leave me alone. - Cover your titties! 615 00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:59,004 Ay, caramba! 616 00:39:00,296 --> 00:39:02,016 Come back, baby. I make movies. 617 00:39:15,729 --> 00:39:20,108 Mare! Mare! Mare, look! Look, I'm shedding my inhibitions! 618 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:27,615 Hey, hey, hey. She's the one that took her top off. 619 00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:35,874 Central! 620 00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:50,430 Travis! 621 00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:57,020 Hey, blondie. 622 00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:03,818 It's the police! You're under arrest. 623 00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:07,030 Really? 624 00:40:23,505 --> 00:40:26,841 Come on, Darius. Just give me five more minutes. 625 00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:29,427 - Mmm. - Look, I got a crisis on my hands. 626 00:40:29,511 --> 00:40:33,473 - So just please, okay? Please. - Mmm. 627 00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:36,142 What is so important that you need me on a Sunday? 628 00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:39,312 What do you mean? 629 00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:43,191 Her stripper name is Pocahontas. 630 00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:45,652 She needs to wear the headdress. 631 00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:50,240 I have had enough of this culturally inappropriate woke shit. The last... 632 00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:56,079 What did I tell you about sneaking up on me? 633 00:40:56,162 --> 00:40:58,790 Sorry, sir. Sorry. Sorry, sir. 634 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:03,169 I'll call you back. 635 00:41:05,839 --> 00:41:08,925 Oh, my... I guess this is their way of staying under the radar. 636 00:41:09,551 --> 00:41:10,718 Ass-hats. 637 00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:15,515 Gatito? I know this place. 638 00:41:15,598 --> 00:41:18,434 Darius and I fell in love down here. 639 00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:20,687 Call Vince, take a couple of guys down there, 640 00:41:20,770 --> 00:41:23,356 and go get me my money and a couple of fingers. 641 00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:25,150 - Fingers? - Yeah, fingers. 642 00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:28,611 No, no, forget it. I'm gonna take care of this myself. 643 00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:31,990 What time's the next flight? 644 00:41:32,073 --> 00:41:33,283 Darius! 645 00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:40,373 Darius! Dari... 646 00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:48,673 So... I posted your bail. 647 00:41:50,008 --> 00:41:52,302 But since you don't have passports, 648 00:41:53,178 --> 00:41:54,679 you're gonna have to wait. 649 00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:15,825 Thank you, guys, for bailing us out and being so nice. 650 00:42:15,909 --> 00:42:17,744 I'm just sorry my husband is so rude. 651 00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:21,414 Well, I wouldn't have to be so rude if my wife would just respect some of my... 652 00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:23,458 Rules? Are you gonna house-break me too? 653 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:26,419 I was gonna say "requests," like when we're on our honeymoon 654 00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:30,798 surrounded by a few hundred horny spring-break TikTok obsessed douchebags, 655 00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:32,902 - maybe don't show your tit... - Oh, do not say the T word. 656 00:42:32,926 --> 00:42:35,237 If you say the T word, I am jumping out of this car, Travis, 657 00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:37,013 and out of your life, I mean it. 658 00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:38,532 That's a bullshit way to end an argument, Abby. 659 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:41,517 - I don't care. - Then don't show your titties! 660 00:42:41,601 --> 00:42:44,163 - Titties, titties, titties, titties! - Oh, fuck you, Travis Maddox. 661 00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:45,730 - Fuck you! - Titties, titties! 662 00:42:46,773 --> 00:42:50,401 - Abby, get back here. - No, no, wait, wait. Señor Travis. No. 663 00:42:50,485 --> 00:42:53,279 - Take your hands off me. - Miguel can take care of her. 664 00:42:53,363 --> 00:42:56,199 She's my wife. She just has a bad habit of running away. 665 00:42:56,282 --> 00:42:58,576 Yes, because she is running from you. 666 00:43:05,917 --> 00:43:09,462 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just... I'm just looking for my ride. 667 00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:12,924 I was just looking for a friend of mine. 668 00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:16,844 Angel! Why do you bring your family such shame? 669 00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:19,681 Go home! All of you, now! 670 00:43:22,308 --> 00:43:25,478 - Are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah, that was... 671 00:43:26,729 --> 00:43:28,481 I could really use a drink. 672 00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:31,276 Thank you. 673 00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:38,741 Hey. If you could at least text me to let me know you're alive, 674 00:43:38,825 --> 00:43:40,493 that would be much fucking appreciated! 675 00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:44,247 - Jesus. Is that the way you talk to her? - What the fuck do you want? 676 00:43:44,330 --> 00:43:46,040 What the fuck do I... 677 00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:50,753 Let me be clear. I think you're being an asshole. 678 00:43:50,837 --> 00:43:55,216 And I think that getting married at 19 is the dumbest shit in the world. 679 00:43:57,135 --> 00:44:00,888 But all I care about right now is my best friend, and she's in love with you. 680 00:44:01,264 --> 00:44:02,473 Yeah, I love her too. 681 00:44:02,557 --> 00:44:06,227 - What's the problem? - The problem is you're suffocating her! 682 00:44:06,311 --> 00:44:09,272 You're suffocating her, and she has a bad habit of disappearing, 683 00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:11,649 and I don't want that to happen to either of us. 684 00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:17,530 Buenas noches, Miguel. 685 00:44:20,116 --> 00:44:22,285 Well, aren't you super popular? 686 00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:23,953 - Hola, Miguel. - Hola. 687 00:44:24,037 --> 00:44:25,830 That wasn't always the case. 688 00:44:26,748 --> 00:44:29,167 I find that so hard to believe. 689 00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:30,835 You're way too nice. 690 00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:33,379 What's your back story? 691 00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:36,549 Tell me. 692 00:44:38,302 --> 00:44:41,555 Okay. Um... Well, I'm part Maldive, part Samoan. 693 00:44:41,638 --> 00:44:44,183 - Okay. - My family moved here when I was a kid. 694 00:44:44,266 --> 00:44:46,977 - Okay. - They were actually pretty wealthy. 695 00:44:47,061 --> 00:44:49,980 You know, the house that you stay at used to be our home. 696 00:44:50,773 --> 00:44:51,899 What happened? 697 00:44:52,441 --> 00:44:55,527 The government took it when my father was killed. 698 00:44:55,611 --> 00:44:58,989 - Miguel, I... - No, don't shed any tears for him. 699 00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:01,033 He wasn't a good guy. 700 00:45:01,784 --> 00:45:05,704 When he was killed, my mom and I had to restart. 701 00:45:05,788 --> 00:45:10,584 I was just a very angry kid, like Angel. 702 00:45:11,543 --> 00:45:13,128 And then one day, I got the calling. 703 00:45:13,212 --> 00:45:14,212 The calling? 704 00:45:15,923 --> 00:45:18,759 Oh. Oh, you mean like "the" calling. 705 00:45:18,842 --> 00:45:21,220 - So you're a... - Priest. In training. 706 00:45:22,012 --> 00:45:24,640 I did not see that coming. Wow. 707 00:45:24,723 --> 00:45:27,309 Tell me, Abby, have you ever... 708 00:45:28,394 --> 00:45:32,481 I mean, I believe, but I don't practice or anything like that. 709 00:45:32,564 --> 00:45:34,209 Well, there's a first time for everything. 710 00:45:34,233 --> 00:45:37,069 - No. No, I still got my beer. - Jesus, we've got another! 711 00:45:37,152 --> 00:45:38,153 I'm not that bad! 712 00:45:45,369 --> 00:45:47,204 Have we ever talked like this? 713 00:45:48,288 --> 00:45:51,667 Yeah. There was that one time in the laundry room. 714 00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:53,794 Yeah, you know. 715 00:45:53,877 --> 00:45:59,049 You know asked me if I had any soap, and I said that I needed to get some. 716 00:46:01,385 --> 00:46:03,720 That was nice. 717 00:46:05,347 --> 00:46:07,349 Yeah, it's funny. You... 718 00:46:07,433 --> 00:46:10,477 You don't get to pick the people who your boyfriend hangs out with. 719 00:46:10,561 --> 00:46:13,689 - I never would have picked you. - I wouldn't have picked you either. 720 00:46:15,441 --> 00:46:17,192 How long have you known her? 721 00:46:18,193 --> 00:46:19,278 A long time. 722 00:46:23,282 --> 00:46:24,741 That's pretty cute. 723 00:46:24,825 --> 00:46:26,910 You know that kid who does all these great things 724 00:46:26,994 --> 00:46:29,496 and her parents never show up for anything? 725 00:46:30,789 --> 00:46:32,124 That was Abby. 726 00:46:33,125 --> 00:46:35,377 It's frustrating to watch. 727 00:46:35,461 --> 00:46:39,715 But, Travis, she is not your problem to solve. 728 00:46:40,632 --> 00:46:43,719 Okay? You just have to give her time. 729 00:46:43,802 --> 00:46:45,637 I mean, she's had no stability in her life, 730 00:46:45,721 --> 00:46:51,721 and you are like this... egomaniac emblem of hyper-masculinity, 731 00:46:51,977 --> 00:46:55,439 semi-toxic, who I actually hope is, you know, extinct. 732 00:46:55,522 --> 00:46:57,917 - Whoa, whoa. Where'd that come from? - Oh, I'm just teasing you. 733 00:46:57,941 --> 00:46:59,443 - Jesus! - What the hell? 734 00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:04,238 Uh... 735 00:47:05,365 --> 00:47:07,367 Hey, guys. 736 00:47:07,451 --> 00:47:10,329 - Are you okay? - Yeah. No, I'm... 737 00:47:10,412 --> 00:47:15,125 Yeah, I was... Uh, yeah, I was just stargazing at... at, uh, Copernicus and... 738 00:47:15,209 --> 00:47:16,835 Telescope's over there, bro. 739 00:47:17,711 --> 00:47:19,796 Oh, they have one of those over there? 740 00:47:20,672 --> 00:47:23,550 - Were you spying on us? - No, no, I would never do that, okay? 741 00:47:23,634 --> 00:47:26,762 I'm... I was, uh... I was getting coconuts. 742 00:47:26,845 --> 00:47:28,555 Your favorite. 743 00:47:28,639 --> 00:47:30,349 Babe. Hey, where you going? 744 00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:32,392 Babe! 745 00:47:32,476 --> 00:47:35,270 Whoa! Whoa, you feel that? 746 00:47:35,354 --> 00:47:39,149 Whoa, you feel that? It's an earthquake, babe! 747 00:47:39,816 --> 00:47:41,735 She... She's gone, buddy. 748 00:47:41,818 --> 00:47:44,071 - Whoa, Mommy! - You aced it. 749 00:47:44,154 --> 00:47:48,450 Thanks for everything today, and for making sure I got home safe. 750 00:47:48,534 --> 00:47:50,619 Look, I know you have a lot on your mind, 751 00:47:50,702 --> 00:47:55,165 and Travis has a... interesting way of expressing himself. 752 00:47:55,249 --> 00:47:58,752 But something tells me that this marriage is worth fighting for. 753 00:47:59,711 --> 00:48:01,046 And I know I'm not ordained yet, 754 00:48:01,129 --> 00:48:05,217 but if you and Travis ever wanna talk anything through, I'm here to listen. 755 00:48:05,842 --> 00:48:09,346 And I won't splash you with holy water or anything. 756 00:48:09,471 --> 00:48:11,390 - Thanks. - Bye. 757 00:48:11,473 --> 00:48:12,473 Bye. 758 00:48:31,618 --> 00:48:33,036 - Hi. - Hi. 759 00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:36,540 It's the first time we've been in sync for a while. 760 00:48:36,623 --> 00:48:37,874 Yeah. 761 00:48:39,876 --> 00:48:41,545 I'm sorry I've been such a dick. 762 00:48:42,504 --> 00:48:44,673 I mean, you haven't. It's... 763 00:48:44,756 --> 00:48:46,008 I really have. 764 00:48:47,134 --> 00:48:48,844 We know I have. 765 00:48:48,927 --> 00:48:51,054 You have. 766 00:48:51,138 --> 00:48:54,766 Well, thank you. I appreciate that. It... 767 00:48:56,476 --> 00:48:59,896 Look, I mean, I have a really bad habit of running away from my problems. 768 00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,898 - You do. - I do. 769 00:49:01,982 --> 00:49:04,359 And I really don't wanna run away from you. 770 00:49:07,029 --> 00:49:09,156 Maybe we just need a little bit of a break. 771 00:49:10,907 --> 00:49:14,953 Our whole relationship has just been this crazy pressure cooker, 772 00:49:15,037 --> 00:49:19,791 and neither of us have been able to go off and have any fun or blow off any steam. 773 00:49:22,336 --> 00:49:24,880 I have fun with you. 774 00:49:25,922 --> 00:49:28,342 I know, but I... I meant independently. 775 00:49:28,425 --> 00:49:29,426 Yeah. 776 00:49:30,344 --> 00:49:33,430 I have always wanted a bachelor party. 777 00:49:33,513 --> 00:49:34,514 Okay. 778 00:49:36,099 --> 00:49:39,061 Let's do it. I mean, there's no time like the present. 779 00:49:42,439 --> 00:49:44,274 I like your thinking, Abby. 780 00:49:45,025 --> 00:49:48,403 Hey, bro, get all the boys together and come down to Mexico. 781 00:49:48,487 --> 00:49:50,656 Oh, by the way, we got married. 782 00:49:50,739 --> 00:49:52,032 Abby, dipshit. 783 00:49:52,699 --> 00:49:58,622 Always ready for a good time, the Maddox brothers flew down to Gatito. 784 00:49:59,748 --> 00:50:02,751 Yeah, Dad, yeah. Talk soon. 785 00:50:03,585 --> 00:50:06,296 - What'd he say? - That I'm in charge. 786 00:50:06,380 --> 00:50:08,882 And to make sure you don't do anything stupid. 787 00:50:13,095 --> 00:50:15,180 It says that El Jefe had kilos of cocaine 788 00:50:15,263 --> 00:50:18,975 that was eaten by a clowder of hairless Mexican cats. 789 00:50:19,059 --> 00:50:20,936 I swear, if you ruin Travis's bachelor party 790 00:50:21,019 --> 00:50:22,479 with a cocaine cat scavenger hunt, 791 00:50:22,562 --> 00:50:26,149 I will sell you to a local cartel and they will use you as a drug mule. 792 00:50:26,233 --> 00:50:27,234 Ow! 793 00:50:30,987 --> 00:50:35,450 No, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it. 794 00:50:35,534 --> 00:50:39,037 There's a first-class ticket waiting for you at Delta. I booked us a suite. 795 00:50:39,121 --> 00:50:42,958 I just gotta get this money and a couple of fingers, and then it's just us. 796 00:50:43,041 --> 00:50:48,422 There will be no talk of work, I swear, just massages and margaritas. 797 00:50:48,505 --> 00:50:53,093 Oh, Darius, just come down, please. Call me back. 798 00:50:57,514 --> 00:51:03,061 Don't you ever, ever do that again, you... 799 00:51:03,145 --> 00:51:06,940 Hey. Oh, hey, babe. Hey, how are you? Where were you last night? 800 00:51:07,023 --> 00:51:09,693 - Why'd you spy on me? - Spy? What are you talking about? 801 00:51:09,776 --> 00:51:11,862 - What are you talking about? - So everything's fine. 802 00:51:11,945 --> 00:51:14,823 Yes, everything's fine, so there's nothing to talk about. 803 00:51:14,906 --> 00:51:17,159 Oh! Ah! 804 00:51:17,242 --> 00:51:20,746 Oh, that hurt. Oh... Babe! 805 00:51:20,829 --> 00:51:23,015 - Why did you do that? - Hey! You holding out on us, cuz? 806 00:51:23,039 --> 00:51:26,752 - Hey, guys. Welcome to Mexico. - Keeping the riches to yourself, huh? 807 00:51:26,835 --> 00:51:29,129 - Yeah, you're a fucking dead man, right? - What? 808 00:51:29,212 --> 00:51:30,881 - This place have a bidet? - Fucking nerd. 809 00:51:30,964 --> 00:51:33,967 What? It was a long flight. They're completely normal in Europe. No! 810 00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:35,719 Don't chuck me in the ocean! 811 00:51:35,802 --> 00:51:37,179 - Hey, buddy. - Hi. 812 00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:39,806 - Hey, hey, guys. - Change of plans. 813 00:51:39,890 --> 00:51:42,267 So, the girls' spa treatment is now in the afternoon, 814 00:51:42,350 --> 00:51:43,619 so they're going to the beach with us. 815 00:51:43,643 --> 00:51:46,243 - Will you teach me how to play football? - Hey, Shep, think fast. 816 00:51:47,439 --> 00:51:49,775 - Heads up, buddy. - Touchdown! 817 00:51:49,858 --> 00:51:53,403 ♪ Call me good Call me bad ♪ 818 00:51:53,487 --> 00:51:57,073 ♪ Call me anything you want to, baby ♪ 819 00:51:57,449 --> 00:52:00,285 ♪ But I know that you're sad ♪ 820 00:52:01,077 --> 00:52:05,081 ♪ And I know I'll make you happy with the one thing that you never had ♪ 821 00:52:05,165 --> 00:52:09,753 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 822 00:52:10,337 --> 00:52:12,464 ♪ Don't you know that ♪ 823 00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:17,219 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 824 00:52:18,970 --> 00:52:22,349 ♪ You bet! If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 825 00:52:22,432 --> 00:52:23,433 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 826 00:52:23,517 --> 00:52:25,644 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 827 00:52:25,727 --> 00:52:27,020 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 828 00:52:27,103 --> 00:52:28,980 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 829 00:52:29,439 --> 00:52:30,440 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 830 00:52:30,524 --> 00:52:33,068 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 831 00:52:33,151 --> 00:52:34,152 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 832 00:52:34,236 --> 00:52:36,905 ♪ So good You're divine ♪ 833 00:52:37,697 --> 00:52:40,909 ♪ Wanna take you, wanna make you But they tell me it's a crime ♪ 834 00:52:40,992 --> 00:52:44,371 ♪ Oh, everybody knows where the good people go ♪ 835 00:52:44,454 --> 00:52:49,084 ♪ But where we're going, baby Ain't no such word as no ♪ 836 00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:54,130 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 837 00:52:54,214 --> 00:52:56,049 ♪ Don't you know who I am ♪ 838 00:52:56,132 --> 00:53:01,847 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 839 00:53:01,930 --> 00:53:03,348 ♪ You know You bet ♪ 840 00:53:03,431 --> 00:53:05,809 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 841 00:53:05,892 --> 00:53:07,102 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 842 00:53:07,185 --> 00:53:09,354 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 843 00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:10,981 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 844 00:53:11,064 --> 00:53:13,483 ♪ I'll be your man I'll be the one who understands ♪ 845 00:53:13,567 --> 00:53:17,195 ♪ I'll be your first, I'll be your last I'll be the only one you ask ♪ 846 00:53:17,279 --> 00:53:20,532 ♪ I'll be your friend, I'll be your toy I'll be the one who brings you joy ♪ 847 00:53:20,615 --> 00:53:22,742 ♪ I'll be your hope, I'll be your pearl ♪ 848 00:53:22,826 --> 00:53:25,245 ♪ I'll take you halfway round the world ♪ 849 00:53:26,288 --> 00:53:29,457 ♪ I'll make you rich I'll make you poor ♪ 850 00:53:31,376 --> 00:53:34,421 ♪ Just don't use the door If you're gonna do it, do it right ♪ 851 00:53:34,504 --> 00:53:38,967 Hey. Okay, babe, what's going on? Seriously, you're acting so weird. 852 00:53:39,050 --> 00:53:41,386 I mean, you literally built a wall between us. 853 00:53:42,095 --> 00:53:43,263 Okay, you... 854 00:53:44,055 --> 00:53:45,700 You know when you're driving down the highway 855 00:53:45,724 --> 00:53:48,852 and a really great song comes on, and you get really into the song 856 00:53:48,935 --> 00:53:50,495 and then you miss your exit and then... 857 00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,106 Okay, wait, wait. Am I the song or the highway? 858 00:53:53,189 --> 00:53:56,484 No, just... I feel like I'm learning all of these things about you. 859 00:53:56,568 --> 00:53:57,568 Good, good, good. 860 00:53:57,611 --> 00:53:59,696 You should be, you know, learning things about me, 861 00:53:59,779 --> 00:54:01,339 and me learning things about you, yeah. 862 00:54:01,406 --> 00:54:04,242 Yeah, no, definitely. Then I find out that you hunt. 863 00:54:04,326 --> 00:54:07,537 - I hunt. Yeah, I'm not hiding it. - No, you're not listening to me. 864 00:54:07,621 --> 00:54:10,461 - You're not listening to me. - Okay, maybe I shouldn't have even tried. 865 00:54:10,540 --> 00:54:12,417 Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have. 866 00:54:15,337 --> 00:54:18,423 And so the boys and girls went their separate ways. 867 00:54:18,506 --> 00:54:21,593 The girls went off to a relaxing spa, 868 00:54:21,676 --> 00:54:25,013 {\an8}and the boys, well... 869 00:54:35,815 --> 00:54:37,776 Let's go! Let's go! 870 00:54:37,859 --> 00:54:40,445 More, more! Don't be a bitch! Come on. 871 00:54:43,281 --> 00:54:45,784 Ah, what the fuck! 872 00:54:45,867 --> 00:54:49,037 - Come on, let's go. Let's go, bitch! - Shut up, bitch. Shut up! 873 00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:58,814 - Jeez, my skin feels like silk. - We should try that seaweed wrap next. 874 00:54:58,838 --> 00:55:01,025 Ooh, I would love to do a seaweed wrap. I've always wanted to. 875 00:55:01,049 --> 00:55:01,967 Yeah. 876 00:55:02,050 --> 00:55:04,511 Okay, well, at least come with us to dinner. 877 00:55:04,594 --> 00:55:07,138 No, nobody's going to bother you. 878 00:55:08,056 --> 00:55:10,183 You know what? Okay, do whatever you want. 879 00:55:10,266 --> 00:55:12,936 But tomorrow we are going sailing. 880 00:55:15,271 --> 00:55:18,358 - I'm sorry about that. - No, you're fine. 881 00:55:18,441 --> 00:55:21,861 - Sounds like you need some relaxation. - What brings you girls down here? 882 00:55:21,945 --> 00:55:24,739 - Honeymoon. - Oh! 883 00:55:25,573 --> 00:55:28,368 I once had a one-night stand with my doula. 884 00:55:30,203 --> 00:55:33,081 - Oh, n... No, no, no. It's not, no. - No, not us, not us. 885 00:55:33,164 --> 00:55:35,059 Not that they're, no. Great for you, though. No, but... 886 00:55:35,083 --> 00:55:37,293 - We don't have a problem with that. - No, it's great. 887 00:55:37,377 --> 00:55:40,380 - We love that. We support that. - It's her honeymoon. It's not... 888 00:55:40,463 --> 00:55:42,424 Yeah. It's our bachelor and bachelorette parties. 889 00:55:42,507 --> 00:55:46,261 - We're doing it kind of backwards. - Well, where's the rest of your party? 890 00:55:46,344 --> 00:55:48,930 - Yeah, you're looking at it. - Yeah. 891 00:55:49,014 --> 00:55:51,349 Well, is that what you wanted? 892 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,894 Well... no. 893 00:55:54,978 --> 00:55:57,647 Oh, okay. It's what he wanted. Okay. 894 00:55:57,731 --> 00:56:00,191 Yeah, I guess I'm just trying to make him happy. 895 00:56:00,275 --> 00:56:03,403 Oh, God. Oh, no, I heard it. That was awful. 896 00:56:03,486 --> 00:56:05,822 - I know. - Hey, hey, hey, you. 897 00:56:05,905 --> 00:56:08,324 - Put that down. - Hey, I can't, I can't. 898 00:56:08,408 --> 00:56:11,119 - Put it down. - Hey, you need to behave. 899 00:56:11,202 --> 00:56:13,163 Oh. Are you gonna teach me? 900 00:56:16,916 --> 00:56:18,710 Ow! 901 00:56:18,793 --> 00:56:22,422 - Oh, my God, you're my hero. - Pour yourselves a drink, girls. 902 00:56:22,505 --> 00:56:23,631 Okay. 903 00:56:24,299 --> 00:56:25,759 Can I be frank? 904 00:56:25,842 --> 00:56:26,843 - Please. - Please. 905 00:56:26,926 --> 00:56:29,929 This marriage is starting off on the wrong foot. 906 00:56:30,013 --> 00:56:33,933 This is not about his needs. It's about your needs. 907 00:56:34,017 --> 00:56:36,019 Now, I lead women's retreats throughout the year, 908 00:56:36,102 --> 00:56:38,646 and it's mostly Fortune 500, 909 00:56:38,730 --> 00:56:41,816 but I also cater to the homemaker and poor people like yourself. 910 00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:42,900 Oh. 911 00:56:42,942 --> 00:56:45,862 Because as much as you would like to deny it, girls, 912 00:56:45,945 --> 00:56:50,408 you cannot disrespect or demean the power of the pussy. 913 00:56:51,868 --> 00:56:53,828 Drink your drink. 914 00:56:53,912 --> 00:56:55,914 - Drink it. It's expensive. - Oh. 915 00:56:57,874 --> 00:57:00,960 Ladies, these two will be joining us. 916 00:57:01,044 --> 00:57:02,712 I have some calls to make, 917 00:57:02,796 --> 00:57:05,048 but Fernando knows where to take you, so run along. 918 00:57:05,131 --> 00:57:06,382 I'll see you later. 919 00:57:12,639 --> 00:57:14,682 We don't see this in the States. 920 00:57:14,766 --> 00:57:17,727 Yeah. That's because it's illegal. 921 00:57:30,657 --> 00:57:32,158 My son! 922 00:57:33,451 --> 00:57:34,786 My son! 923 00:57:35,453 --> 00:57:36,913 My son! 924 00:57:54,889 --> 00:57:56,683 You okay, Shep? 925 00:57:57,642 --> 00:58:02,230 Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I, uh... Just fuck. The allergy season, right? 926 00:58:03,565 --> 00:58:07,527 After massages and muchas margaritas, 927 00:58:07,610 --> 00:58:11,990 the girls chose to take their bachelorette party to the streets 928 00:58:12,073 --> 00:58:14,117 in search of more fun. 929 00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,786 ♪ Welcome to the festival The festival de lucha ♪ 930 00:58:16,870 --> 00:58:18,538 Can you tell me where the lucha is? 931 00:58:18,621 --> 00:58:22,125 Your tent over yonder, my fair wench. 932 00:58:22,208 --> 00:58:24,627 - Hey, excuse me, Shakespeare. - Ow. 933 00:58:24,711 --> 00:58:27,297 I don't really like that you called me a wench. 934 00:58:27,380 --> 00:58:30,300 And the winner is GEK the GEK! 935 00:58:31,926 --> 00:58:33,636 Okay, the next event, 936 00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:35,096 the next fight, 937 00:58:35,180 --> 00:58:38,057 with public participation. 938 00:58:38,516 --> 00:58:41,019 Here's the fabulous, the only... 939 00:58:42,228 --> 00:58:44,981 Thumbelina! 940 00:58:45,064 --> 00:58:46,816 - Thumbelina! - ♪ My name is Thumbelina ♪ 941 00:58:46,900 --> 00:58:50,153 - ♪ I'm three feet tall... ♪ - Oh, my God, she's so cute. 942 00:58:50,236 --> 00:58:51,613 Hey, what is he saying? 943 00:58:52,906 --> 00:58:55,825 He wants to know if anyone'll fight Thumbelina. 944 00:58:55,909 --> 00:58:59,162 What? No, she's like a delicate little flower. 945 00:58:59,245 --> 00:59:01,789 These people can't fight her. I'll do it! I will do it. 946 00:59:01,873 --> 00:59:03,642 - It's gonna be fine. I'll be fine. - No, no, no. 947 00:59:03,666 --> 00:59:06,002 - We have a challenger. - I'll do it. 948 00:59:06,085 --> 00:59:07,712 This is a terrible idea. Ah! 949 00:59:07,795 --> 00:59:09,756 Hi. Hi. 950 00:59:09,839 --> 00:59:11,841 - Hi. - Aw, I'm Abby. 951 00:59:11,925 --> 00:59:14,219 - Aw! - I told you it was gonna be fine. 952 00:59:14,302 --> 00:59:16,429 She's cute. 953 00:59:16,512 --> 00:59:18,598 Okay, so, uh... so do I get a costume? 954 00:59:18,681 --> 00:59:20,808 She wants a costume! 955 00:59:20,892 --> 00:59:22,119 Sure, sure. Come on. 956 00:59:22,143 --> 00:59:25,897 Oh, you're good. You're good, Shep. You're good. 957 00:59:25,980 --> 00:59:29,525 It's just a stupid, stupid little chicken, okay? 958 00:59:29,609 --> 00:59:31,903 Okay, okay. 959 00:59:32,862 --> 00:59:35,865 All right. Get it together. Get it together. Get... 960 00:59:36,658 --> 00:59:38,368 My favorite rooster! 961 00:59:40,286 --> 00:59:42,205 No, no, no. 962 00:59:42,288 --> 00:59:43,957 No! 963 00:59:44,958 --> 00:59:46,876 Look at his little feet. 964 00:59:47,877 --> 00:59:49,796 Where's the humanity? 965 00:59:51,297 --> 00:59:54,342 You people are sick! You did this! 966 00:59:54,425 --> 00:59:59,055 You did this to your child! How do you feel about that? 967 00:59:59,597 --> 01:00:01,307 He's an animal of love. 968 01:00:10,608 --> 01:00:12,360 This is sick fuck. 969 01:00:13,319 --> 01:00:14,821 Not on my watch. 970 01:00:15,446 --> 01:00:16,823 You. 971 01:00:16,906 --> 01:00:21,244 And now from the United States, Abby Abernathy! 972 01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:27,500 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 973 01:00:27,583 --> 01:00:30,086 Listen very carefully to the rules, all right? 974 01:00:30,169 --> 01:00:31,921 - Okay. - There are no rules. 975 01:00:33,047 --> 01:00:34,090 Go! 976 01:00:35,842 --> 01:00:37,093 Meow. 977 01:00:37,176 --> 01:00:39,262 A cat. 978 01:00:39,345 --> 01:00:41,973 - Ow! - Oh, my... Jesus. 979 01:00:42,724 --> 01:00:44,434 - You bitch! - Ow! 980 01:00:46,311 --> 01:00:48,187 - What's happening? - Come here! 981 01:00:51,316 --> 01:00:54,110 - Oh, God. - Okay. Truce? 982 01:01:08,541 --> 01:01:11,919 - Will you tell me that's not Abby? - It's definitely Abby. 983 01:01:16,007 --> 01:01:18,217 All right, all right, all right, all right. 984 01:01:19,552 --> 01:01:21,596 Oh, God. Oh, hi, honey. 985 01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:26,392 - Okay. - What happened to mani-pedis? 986 01:01:26,476 --> 01:01:28,436 I could really use your advice right now. 987 01:01:28,519 --> 01:01:32,315 Okay, okay, um... Well, she's favoring her right knee. 988 01:01:32,398 --> 01:01:34,650 - Go for her knee. - No, that's so mean. 989 01:01:34,734 --> 01:01:36,652 It's really mean, but it might save your life. 990 01:01:36,736 --> 01:01:39,614 Sorpresa! 991 01:01:39,697 --> 01:01:42,325 Don't listen to her. She's trying to get in your head. Look at me. 992 01:01:42,408 --> 01:01:43,951 Okay, okay. 993 01:01:44,035 --> 01:01:46,454 What's happening, English-speaking woman? 994 01:01:46,537 --> 01:01:49,123 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 995 01:01:49,999 --> 01:01:52,335 Your boyfriend is very handsome. 996 01:01:52,418 --> 01:01:55,588 - She's trying to fuck you. - I... I don't know. I'm gonna go. 997 01:01:56,547 --> 01:01:58,925 - Listen here... - Hasta la vista, fatty! 998 01:01:59,008 --> 01:02:00,468 Fatty? 999 01:02:01,594 --> 01:02:03,805 - I think you dropped something. - Huh? 1000 01:02:04,931 --> 01:02:06,474 - My leg! - Yeah! 1001 01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:11,479 That's what you get for trying to fuck my husband! 1002 01:02:11,562 --> 01:02:14,482 Yeah. Oh, some Mario shit. 1003 01:02:14,565 --> 01:02:17,902 Slam her! Yes! I don't know what's legal. Do whatever. 1004 01:02:20,029 --> 01:02:22,031 Just do it! 1005 01:02:23,658 --> 01:02:26,786 Mama! 1006 01:02:26,869 --> 01:02:28,538 My tiny leg! 1007 01:02:28,621 --> 01:02:31,541 - I am immensely turned on by you. - Uncle! Uncle! 1008 01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:36,045 - Yeah! - Yes! 1009 01:02:37,713 --> 01:02:41,467 I can't believe you did it. You were awesome! You won! 1010 01:02:41,551 --> 01:02:43,636 All right, baby. Have fun at your bachelor party! 1011 01:02:43,719 --> 01:02:46,722 All right! I love you! Have fun! 1012 01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:51,394 ♪ There's a cabin in the town In the town ♪ 1013 01:02:51,477 --> 01:02:55,064 ♪ Where my sweet love sits me down Sits me down ♪ 1014 01:02:55,148 --> 01:02:59,068 ♪ And drinks her wine as merry as can be ♪ 1015 01:02:59,152 --> 01:03:01,821 ♪ Never, never thinks of me ♪ 1016 01:03:01,904 --> 01:03:04,157 Whoa. Looks like the power's out again. 1017 01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:05,700 Sorpresa! 1018 01:03:08,161 --> 01:03:10,830 What's with all the eye candy? I'm married. 1019 01:03:10,913 --> 01:03:13,833 - You are. - But we're not. 1020 01:03:14,667 --> 01:03:17,795 Don't get any cute ideas. Abby's our sister now. 1021 01:03:17,879 --> 01:03:20,548 Yeah. I'll have to agree with him on that one. 1022 01:03:36,689 --> 01:03:41,777 I mean, I love him. That's gotta be worth something, right? 1023 01:03:42,695 --> 01:03:44,363 Yeah, absolutely. 1024 01:03:45,823 --> 01:03:48,826 - I don't know what love is anymore. - Uh-oh. 1025 01:03:50,119 --> 01:03:52,163 Have you eaten anything today? 1026 01:03:52,246 --> 01:03:53,331 I'm full... 1027 01:03:54,332 --> 01:03:56,584 of rage! 1028 01:03:57,543 --> 01:04:00,755 Here's the thing, girls. I got married too fucking young. 1029 01:04:00,838 --> 01:04:04,133 It didn't work out, you know? What are you gonna fucking do? 1030 01:04:04,217 --> 01:04:07,053 What do you mean, what am I gonna fucking do? I'm already... 1031 01:04:07,136 --> 01:04:08,846 Oh, look, I'm peeing. 1032 01:04:10,973 --> 01:04:14,560 - I'm never getting married. - Listen. 1033 01:04:14,644 --> 01:04:17,772 The stats are not in your favor, okay? 1034 01:04:17,855 --> 01:04:19,649 And by the way, hey, listen. 1035 01:04:19,732 --> 01:04:24,570 Hey, it's not like you came into any assets or anything, right? So... 1036 01:04:24,654 --> 01:04:28,574 And there are no kids involved. So, you got that. 1037 01:04:28,658 --> 01:04:32,286 I'm gonna have a baby on my own. Millicent. 1038 01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:36,332 Just buy one. They're more grateful. 1039 01:04:42,505 --> 01:04:44,215 Okay. Shit. 1040 01:04:44,298 --> 01:04:47,593 Okay, I got you... I got you food. Oh, oh. 1041 01:04:49,679 --> 01:04:52,348 This looks so good, guys. 1042 01:04:52,431 --> 01:04:53,641 All right. 1043 01:04:55,059 --> 01:04:58,312 Mmm! You're free now, yeah. 1044 01:05:00,606 --> 01:05:05,027 Ooh, you hungry? Yeah. Ooh! 1045 01:05:05,111 --> 01:05:06,529 Bon appétit. 1046 01:05:07,405 --> 01:05:09,949 Mmm! Yeah, come on. 1047 01:05:10,032 --> 01:05:13,119 What? The food's over here. Here you go. Yeah, you can eat. 1048 01:05:13,202 --> 01:05:16,747 No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey. 1049 01:05:16,831 --> 01:05:17,832 Cease! 1050 01:05:17,915 --> 01:05:19,041 Para! Para! Para! 1051 01:05:21,669 --> 01:05:25,715 Para! Stop! Stop! Para! Para! Para! 1052 01:05:27,216 --> 01:05:29,594 Guys, just be friends, just be friends! 1053 01:05:32,221 --> 01:05:34,932 No! No! No! 1054 01:05:43,024 --> 01:05:45,860 I'm an exchange student! 1055 01:05:45,943 --> 01:05:47,111 Help me! 1056 01:05:56,621 --> 01:05:58,456 - Oh! - I got you! 1057 01:05:58,664 --> 01:06:00,249 - I got you. - You got me. 1058 01:06:00,333 --> 01:06:02,293 - I love you so much. - Okay, come on, let's go. 1059 01:06:02,376 --> 01:06:04,021 - You're such a good friend. - I know. I love you very much. 1060 01:06:04,045 --> 01:06:07,256 - Who needs Shep? Here we go. - No one needs him. I love you. 1061 01:06:07,340 --> 01:06:10,968 - Here we go. Where's the waterbed? - Okay, okay. No, it's not a waterbed. 1062 01:06:11,052 --> 01:06:13,638 You know, lady, I love you too. I think we're good together. 1063 01:06:13,721 --> 01:06:17,475 No. I... I just need to know if Darius made his flight. 1064 01:06:18,809 --> 01:06:22,271 What are you looking at? I don't give a fuck about Abby anymore. 1065 01:06:22,355 --> 01:06:23,814 I just want Darius. 1066 01:06:24,857 --> 01:06:27,443 What do you mean, he cashed his ticket in? No, no, no! 1067 01:06:27,526 --> 01:06:29,904 Those are my miles! That's my money! 1068 01:06:31,072 --> 01:06:34,909 I work my whole fucking life to build a nest egg of money and love. 1069 01:06:34,992 --> 01:06:38,371 And what's the point if you keep losing the nest egg and the love? 1070 01:06:39,246 --> 01:06:41,374 Help me! 1071 01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:45,169 Oh! 1072 01:06:49,715 --> 01:06:52,927 Oh, no, no, no. No! 1073 01:06:53,010 --> 01:06:54,679 Hi, Shepley, baby. It's Mom. 1074 01:06:54,762 --> 01:06:58,516 - I'm at hospice with Granny. - Mommy, yes, it's me! 1075 01:06:58,599 --> 01:07:00,869 We're about to pull the plug and she wanted to say goodbye. 1076 01:07:00,893 --> 01:07:02,812 - No, Grandma! - Where are you? 1077 01:07:02,895 --> 01:07:04,271 No, Grandma! 1078 01:07:07,024 --> 01:07:10,861 Shepley, it's Granny. I just wanted to tell you I... 1079 01:07:10,945 --> 01:07:12,822 No! 1080 01:07:12,905 --> 01:07:16,075 No! Goodbye, Granny! 1081 01:07:25,292 --> 01:07:29,755 No, I don't like those. I like Pino. Pino! 1082 01:07:31,507 --> 01:07:33,926 Guys! Oh, they'll never believe me. 1083 01:07:46,689 --> 01:07:48,107 Guess who? 1084 01:07:49,650 --> 01:07:51,277 Remember us? 1085 01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:52,360 Raar. 1086 01:07:52,945 --> 01:07:54,864 You learn English fast. 1087 01:07:54,947 --> 01:07:57,116 I learn a lot of things fast. 1088 01:07:57,199 --> 01:07:59,452 Isn't this your bachelor party? 1089 01:07:59,535 --> 01:08:03,456 Whoo. It sure is my bachelor party. 1090 01:08:03,539 --> 01:08:05,958 So, don't you wanna have some fun? 1091 01:08:06,041 --> 01:08:07,501 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 1092 01:08:07,585 --> 01:08:08,878 Let's have fun! 1093 01:08:08,961 --> 01:08:13,674 Okay. You know, um, I thought I was having enough fun already. 1094 01:08:14,550 --> 01:08:15,968 You know what we mean. 1095 01:08:17,052 --> 01:08:19,138 Whoo! 1096 01:08:19,221 --> 01:08:21,599 We'll make it hard. 1097 01:08:21,682 --> 01:08:23,726 Away from Blondie. 1098 01:08:23,809 --> 01:08:25,436 You mean Abby, my wife. 1099 01:08:26,061 --> 01:08:29,064 Come on. We won't tell. 1100 01:08:35,571 --> 01:08:37,114 I gotta go. 1101 01:08:37,198 --> 01:08:39,408 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1102 01:08:42,119 --> 01:08:43,412 Naughty, naughty. 1103 01:08:44,705 --> 01:08:46,916 Thank you for letting us stay on the cot. 1104 01:08:46,999 --> 01:08:51,086 Yeah, well, okay, ladies, it's been real. 1105 01:08:51,170 --> 01:08:54,089 Good luck with your life, your marriage. 1106 01:08:54,173 --> 01:08:55,883 And if you were a gambler, 1107 01:08:55,966 --> 01:08:59,887 I would tell you that the odds are not in your favor and to fold. 1108 01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:02,097 Wait, I have to pee. Is this a bathroom? 1109 01:09:02,181 --> 01:09:04,517 Yeah. But no, no, no, no. Don't... Don't go there. 1110 01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:07,019 That's Parker's room. Just go in the pond. 1111 01:09:07,102 --> 01:09:08,354 Parker? 1112 01:09:08,437 --> 01:09:11,232 My son, the doctor that we were talking about. 1113 01:09:11,315 --> 01:09:13,984 - What's your last name? - Hayes. 1114 01:09:14,068 --> 01:09:15,903 Hayes. 1115 01:09:15,986 --> 01:09:17,947 Parker Hayes. 1116 01:09:18,030 --> 01:09:19,323 Doctor. 1117 01:09:21,116 --> 01:09:22,701 Hey, Parker! 1118 01:09:22,785 --> 01:09:24,078 Dr. Hayes. 1119 01:09:24,161 --> 01:09:25,996 Parker Hayes? 1120 01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:27,081 Parker! 1121 01:09:30,209 --> 01:09:32,545 Mare! Mare, we gotta go! 1122 01:09:42,596 --> 01:09:43,596 Ugh. 1123 01:09:45,641 --> 01:09:47,977 Travis. 1124 01:09:50,646 --> 01:09:51,814 Naughty, naughty. 1125 01:09:53,357 --> 01:09:55,276 Travis? Travis, come and get me. 1126 01:09:58,028 --> 01:09:59,488 Travis! 1127 01:09:59,572 --> 01:10:01,115 - Asshole! - You like that? 1128 01:10:01,198 --> 01:10:04,368 - Fine. Two can play at that. - Oh, Travis, you're so good. 1129 01:10:17,047 --> 01:10:20,175 Okay, Parker. Okay, I'm just... 1130 01:10:21,218 --> 01:10:25,055 Shit. Okay, go. Wait. Okay. 1131 01:10:25,139 --> 01:10:26,265 Ow! 1132 01:10:27,558 --> 01:10:28,851 Ow. 1133 01:10:28,934 --> 01:10:32,563 Okay. Hi, Parker. Hi. Hi, you old nice, boring man. 1134 01:10:32,646 --> 01:10:34,315 Okay, we're gonna take a photo. 1135 01:10:34,398 --> 01:10:36,942 Shit. What? 1136 01:10:40,821 --> 01:10:42,114 Good. Okay. 1137 01:10:53,375 --> 01:10:55,461 No! What are you doing? Don't... 1138 01:11:01,675 --> 01:11:05,721 Shh, shh, shh. Shh. Shh. 1139 01:11:07,473 --> 01:11:09,433 Goddammit! 1140 01:11:11,268 --> 01:11:13,437 How are you sleeping? Roll over! 1141 01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:16,857 God, you're fucking pointless. Roll over. 1142 01:11:17,524 --> 01:11:19,735 One. 1143 01:11:19,818 --> 01:11:22,321 Two. 1144 01:11:22,404 --> 01:11:25,324 Oh, oh, come on! 1145 01:11:25,407 --> 01:11:29,078 Come on. Ow! No! 1146 01:12:31,849 --> 01:12:34,435 What the hell happened in here? 1147 01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:44,695 Is that me? 1148 01:12:52,119 --> 01:12:53,704 So mean. 1149 01:12:54,621 --> 01:12:57,666 I am sorry, señor. There is no one here by that name. 1150 01:12:57,750 --> 01:13:01,086 Or the other girls. Have you tried calling the police? 1151 01:13:01,170 --> 01:13:03,839 Yeah, I don't think we're there yet. Thank you, though. 1152 01:13:04,590 --> 01:13:05,799 Okay. 1153 01:13:53,305 --> 01:13:54,973 Mmm? 1154 01:14:29,174 --> 01:14:31,885 - Who the fuck are you? - It's me! It's me! 1155 01:14:31,969 --> 01:14:34,888 - It's Abby! It's me! - Abby? What are you doing here? 1156 01:14:34,972 --> 01:14:38,225 - I was just trying to take a selfie. - A selfie? Fucking psycho. 1157 01:14:38,308 --> 01:14:39,685 Abby? 1158 01:14:39,768 --> 01:14:43,772 - Oh, God. He's gonna kill you. - Abby, open up! 1159 01:14:43,856 --> 01:14:45,691 There's nobody here by that name, so piss off! 1160 01:14:45,774 --> 01:14:49,444 - Shh! - Oh, my God! You fucked Parker! 1161 01:14:52,030 --> 01:14:54,241 What are you doing here? 1162 01:14:54,324 --> 01:14:56,660 Nothing happened! Nothing happened! 1163 01:15:07,546 --> 01:15:09,464 It's a madhouse! 1164 01:15:17,514 --> 01:15:20,934 Well? How's that for your first time, Miguel? 1165 01:15:22,394 --> 01:15:27,274 Ain't she something else? Found her in bed with her ex on our honeymoon. 1166 01:15:30,402 --> 01:15:32,654 It was really stupid. 1167 01:15:33,238 --> 01:15:36,950 I was drunk and trying to get a selfie to make him jealous. 1168 01:15:37,034 --> 01:15:39,912 The only reason I did it is because 1169 01:15:39,995 --> 01:15:44,124 I went to FaceTime Travis last night and this is what I saw. 1170 01:15:47,544 --> 01:15:48,544 I... 1171 01:15:50,214 --> 01:15:51,715 Abby, I had nothing to do with this. 1172 01:15:51,798 --> 01:15:53,425 You have to believe me. 1173 01:15:53,508 --> 01:15:54,509 I do. 1174 01:15:56,094 --> 01:15:59,139 I do. When I sobered up this morning and I had a second to think, 1175 01:15:59,223 --> 01:16:01,516 I figured that, I don't know, 1176 01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:04,436 that some girls must have taken your phone or something. 1177 01:16:04,519 --> 01:16:05,896 And that's the truth. 1178 01:16:07,564 --> 01:16:09,733 Right. I believe you. 1179 01:16:09,816 --> 01:16:12,277 You guys, there's... there's hope in this. 1180 01:16:13,737 --> 01:16:17,741 Except that doesn't really go both ways in our relationship now, does it? 1181 01:16:21,119 --> 01:16:25,582 Well... it's not really like you gave me a fighting chance 1182 01:16:25,666 --> 01:16:28,001 with your marriage annulment contest. 1183 01:16:30,045 --> 01:16:32,130 You set me up to fail. 1184 01:16:36,593 --> 01:16:39,513 Miguel, I know that you said that there's something in Travis and I 1185 01:16:39,596 --> 01:16:40,889 that's worth fighting for, 1186 01:16:40,973 --> 01:16:44,893 but, you know, I don't really think I have any fight left. 1187 01:16:47,479 --> 01:16:50,023 - Then neither do I. - I... 1188 01:16:50,107 --> 01:16:51,233 Travis... 1189 01:16:55,487 --> 01:16:59,825 - Abby, Psalm 51 says create a... - Save it. I'm done. 1190 01:17:12,754 --> 01:17:14,089 My mom knows someone 1191 01:17:14,172 --> 01:17:17,009 who can get us on a four o'clock flight back to Sacramento. 1192 01:17:17,092 --> 01:17:21,096 Thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang around here, wander. 1193 01:17:21,179 --> 01:17:23,015 Don't wander too far. 1194 01:17:24,266 --> 01:17:28,228 - Promise? - Yes. Yes, I promise, Mare. 1195 01:17:28,312 --> 01:17:29,646 But enough about me. 1196 01:17:29,730 --> 01:17:32,983 - How are you doing? - This is so weird, Abby. 1197 01:17:33,066 --> 01:17:35,527 The second I met Shepley, I just fell so hard. 1198 01:17:35,610 --> 01:17:37,696 And we get here, and I feel like I'm just seeing 1199 01:17:37,779 --> 01:17:39,448 who he really is for the first time. 1200 01:17:39,531 --> 01:17:43,577 - Yeah, sounds familiar. - I mean, he hunts, he spies on me. 1201 01:17:44,369 --> 01:17:47,539 I just can't. He's not right for me. 1202 01:17:50,375 --> 01:17:51,585 I hear you. 1203 01:17:51,668 --> 01:17:54,379 I thought maybe Travis was different, 1204 01:17:54,463 --> 01:17:57,424 but he's just like all the men from my past. 1205 01:17:57,507 --> 01:17:59,259 I mean, I don't know what to say, Mare. 1206 01:17:59,343 --> 01:18:02,137 I guess we were both just dealt a really... 1207 01:18:04,264 --> 01:18:06,391 Hello? Abby? 1208 01:18:11,605 --> 01:18:14,775 I wanna see the two of you in my office in an hour, 1209 01:18:14,858 --> 01:18:17,402 and don't you even think of skipping town. 1210 01:18:18,695 --> 01:18:23,950 This is about Travis assuming your debt by fighting against Chernobyl. 1211 01:19:10,747 --> 01:19:13,333 Abby, it's not what you think! 1212 01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:18,880 - I fucking hate you! - I don't hit women. 1213 01:19:18,964 --> 01:19:20,799 Motherfucker! 1214 01:19:23,301 --> 01:19:26,805 - You said you wouldn't do anything! - God, you're firm. 1215 01:19:26,888 --> 01:19:30,183 I fucking hate you, you maggot dick! 1216 01:19:30,267 --> 01:19:33,437 - What are you, hormonal? - Fuck you! 1217 01:19:36,481 --> 01:19:37,649 Who is it? 1218 01:19:41,403 --> 01:19:43,738 What... What do you want? 1219 01:19:54,291 --> 01:19:56,543 I'm sorry about your painting. 1220 01:19:58,295 --> 01:20:01,965 Sorry about fucking up your life, ish. 1221 01:20:04,634 --> 01:20:10,098 You didn't fuck up my life. You fucked up my relationship with my dad. 1222 01:20:10,182 --> 01:20:12,684 There were some other things. 1223 01:20:12,767 --> 01:20:15,228 - Toledo. - Hmm. 1224 01:20:15,312 --> 01:20:18,523 Toledo? Dude, I was 14. 1225 01:20:18,607 --> 01:20:20,650 You were a cash cow. 1226 01:20:20,734 --> 01:20:23,403 You really did deserve that rock to the head. 1227 01:20:25,447 --> 01:20:27,240 I'm sorry about... 1228 01:20:27,324 --> 01:20:29,034 - Darius? - Yeah. 1229 01:20:29,117 --> 01:20:32,162 I don't even know if he ever really loved me. 1230 01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:35,874 This painting was my last-ditch effort, 'cause we were down... 1231 01:20:35,957 --> 01:20:37,375 Doesn't matter. 1232 01:20:40,587 --> 01:20:44,090 Well, for what it's worth, it's not like my relationship is any better. 1233 01:20:44,174 --> 01:20:47,302 I'm about to be a divorcée at 19. 1234 01:20:47,385 --> 01:20:48,929 - What? - Yeah. 1235 01:20:49,721 --> 01:20:53,767 For somebody who is so good at cards, you are a real fuckin' idiot. 1236 01:20:53,850 --> 01:20:56,645 - Excuse me? - Oh, yeah, right, Miss Wisdom at 19. 1237 01:20:56,728 --> 01:20:58,855 You don't see what's staring you right in the face. 1238 01:20:58,939 --> 01:21:01,358 Love, Abby. Love. 1239 01:21:01,441 --> 01:21:05,529 Your guy, this guy, the fighter, Travis, and the passion you two have. 1240 01:21:05,612 --> 01:21:08,823 You think you can buy that on Amazon? You cannot. 1241 01:21:08,907 --> 01:21:13,411 I don't care if you're 19 or you're 90. When that happens, sha-bam! 1242 01:21:16,414 --> 01:21:19,042 - Sha-bam? - Sha-bam! 1243 01:21:22,754 --> 01:21:25,090 - Sha-bam. - Fuckin' sha-bam. 1244 01:21:26,466 --> 01:21:29,135 - What do you guys want? - We want you to fight for her. 1245 01:21:29,219 --> 01:21:32,430 - You don't think I'm trying? - Then, dude, try fuckin' harder. 1246 01:21:32,514 --> 01:21:35,559 It's like Dad always said, "Sometimes you have to fight for both of you 1247 01:21:35,642 --> 01:21:36,685 when one of you gives up." 1248 01:21:36,768 --> 01:21:39,187 That's right. You fight and you fight, and you keep fighting. 1249 01:21:39,271 --> 01:21:41,982 'Cause you're a Maddox, and that's what we do for love. 1250 01:21:42,065 --> 01:21:44,192 Travis, do you love her? 1251 01:21:45,443 --> 01:21:47,195 Of course I love her. 1252 01:21:48,321 --> 01:21:50,448 Then go and get her, dude. 1253 01:21:51,658 --> 01:21:53,076 I don't even know where she is. 1254 01:21:53,159 --> 01:21:55,453 - I think she found you, bro. - What? 1255 01:21:58,164 --> 01:22:00,917 ♪ With all the ground we've covered ♪ 1256 01:22:01,293 --> 01:22:04,337 ♪ With all the fights we've won ♪ 1257 01:22:04,421 --> 01:22:07,966 ♪ I won't let you drown in the ocean ♪ 1258 01:22:08,049 --> 01:22:11,219 ♪ I won't watch you burn in the sun ♪ 1259 01:22:11,303 --> 01:22:13,138 ♪ We'll sing it in a song ♪ 1260 01:22:14,681 --> 01:22:18,518 ♪ We'll sing it in a song ♪ 1261 01:22:18,602 --> 01:22:21,896 ♪ In all the seas we've sailed on ♪ 1262 01:22:21,980 --> 01:22:25,066 ♪ Our faces turned to stone ♪ 1263 01:22:25,150 --> 01:22:28,862 ♪ I will follow you where the light goes ♪ 1264 01:22:28,945 --> 01:22:31,406 ♪ And tell the rights we've wronged ♪ 1265 01:22:31,489 --> 01:22:34,951 ♪ And sing it in a song Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1266 01:22:35,035 --> 01:22:39,664 ♪ Sing it in a song ♪ 1267 01:22:39,748 --> 01:22:43,293 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1268 01:22:43,376 --> 01:22:49,341 ♪ The greatest story never told ♪ 1269 01:22:50,258 --> 01:22:52,135 ♪ Our finest dreams ♪ 1270 01:22:52,218 --> 01:22:57,015 ♪ Our hearts and souls ♪ 1271 01:22:57,098 --> 01:23:02,520 ♪ Forever young, forever bold ♪ 1272 01:23:03,938 --> 01:23:07,776 ♪ The greatest story never told ♪ 1273 01:23:13,073 --> 01:23:15,367 Where did you get these suits, Douchebags-R-Us? 1274 01:23:15,450 --> 01:23:16,910 - They're traditional. - Really? 1275 01:23:16,993 --> 01:23:20,038 Did you get these suits with a sign that reads "Please don't fuck me"? 1276 01:23:20,121 --> 01:23:22,582 He's a fucking priest. Have some respect! 1277 01:23:25,752 --> 01:23:27,462 No biting! 1278 01:23:27,545 --> 01:23:30,423 Queso! 1279 01:23:43,019 --> 01:23:46,856 This is the ring that our father got our mother, 1280 01:23:46,940 --> 01:23:52,487 and, uh, she passed before Travis really got to ever know her. 1281 01:23:53,571 --> 01:23:55,490 But it's special. 1282 01:23:55,573 --> 01:23:58,660 And you're special. 1283 01:23:58,743 --> 01:24:03,581 We'd like you to have it, 'cause we all love you very much. 1284 01:24:04,999 --> 01:24:06,876 This is beautiful. 1285 01:24:08,128 --> 01:24:10,046 I just wish that I could have met her, you guys. 1286 01:24:10,130 --> 01:24:13,216 But I'm sure she was so incredible. 1287 01:24:14,884 --> 01:24:17,470 I don't even know what to say. 1288 01:24:17,554 --> 01:24:20,682 Well, you... you could say yes. 1289 01:24:20,765 --> 01:24:22,726 Yes, yes, yeah. 1290 01:24:23,768 --> 01:24:26,938 I'll cherish this forever. Thank you guys so much. 1291 01:24:27,689 --> 01:24:30,692 I'm really proud to call you guys my brothers. 1292 01:24:33,820 --> 01:24:35,321 Hey! 1293 01:24:36,531 --> 01:24:38,450 What are guys doing to her? 1294 01:24:46,332 --> 01:24:48,042 ♪ Right from the start ♪ 1295 01:24:48,126 --> 01:24:51,004 ♪ We knew we'd be together... ♪ 1296 01:24:51,963 --> 01:24:53,965 Tried the Trabby? 1297 01:24:54,048 --> 01:24:55,133 Hey! 1298 01:24:55,216 --> 01:24:59,095 Yeah. Yeah, I've had, like, three. They're great. They're great. 1299 01:24:59,179 --> 01:25:02,766 - You should get one, man. - All right, I'll have one. 1300 01:25:06,394 --> 01:25:09,314 - Did you talk to Mare? - Mare? Uh... 1301 01:25:11,941 --> 01:25:13,651 You all right? 1302 01:25:17,989 --> 01:25:20,909 Yeah, I mean, it doesn't matter. It's your night, man. 1303 01:25:20,992 --> 01:25:23,203 - It's your night. - Cheers. Shep, I love you. 1304 01:25:23,286 --> 01:25:27,040 I love... Well, stop. I love... Dude, I love you. I love you so much. 1305 01:25:27,123 --> 01:25:31,044 - No, but, seriously, I love you. - I love you more, bro. For real. 1306 01:25:31,127 --> 01:25:32,670 I would leave her tonight for you. 1307 01:25:32,754 --> 01:25:35,924 If it weren't for the whole cousin inbreeding thing, we could have something. 1308 01:25:36,007 --> 01:25:39,093 Come here. Come here. 1309 01:25:39,177 --> 01:25:43,014 I'm so happy for you. Now, you should find your wife. 1310 01:25:43,097 --> 01:25:45,016 - That's weird to say. - I know. 1311 01:25:45,099 --> 01:25:47,227 - You good? - I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. 1312 01:25:47,310 --> 01:25:48,436 - Okay. - I'm good. 1313 01:25:53,983 --> 01:25:58,571 Hey, what's... what's the Shepmare? Can I have one of those? 1314 01:25:58,655 --> 01:26:03,409 - You tell me. - Oh, my... Oh, my... Baby! 1315 01:26:03,493 --> 01:26:05,995 - Babe! Oh, my God! Come here, come here. - I came back! 1316 01:26:06,079 --> 01:26:10,124 - Pumpkin! Pumpkin! I missed you! - I missed you too! 1317 01:26:10,208 --> 01:26:13,044 I was at the spa and heard that someone tried to free the roosters 1318 01:26:13,127 --> 01:26:14,688 but didn't realize that they're trained killers. 1319 01:26:14,712 --> 01:26:17,090 - I didn't know they were killers! - Did you do that? 1320 01:26:17,173 --> 01:26:22,387 Yeah, I was just trying to be a nice guy, and they're not... they're not nice. No. 1321 01:26:22,470 --> 01:26:25,807 You're a good man, Shepley Maddox, and I've been such a jerk. 1322 01:26:25,890 --> 01:26:28,142 I spun out about a dumb thing and I shut down... 1323 01:26:28,226 --> 01:26:29,686 - Stop, stop, stop. - I'm so sorry. 1324 01:26:29,769 --> 01:26:33,481 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry for spying on you. - I love you so much. 1325 01:26:33,565 --> 01:26:37,193 - I love you so much, baby. - And I wanna be your baby pterodactyl. 1326 01:26:37,277 --> 01:26:38,862 You wanna be my... 1327 01:26:40,280 --> 01:26:43,491 - I wanna be on your mantle! - Come here, babe! 1328 01:26:50,164 --> 01:26:52,417 - Buenas noches. - Hmm. 1329 01:26:53,209 --> 01:26:55,545 - Sancho, right? - Sí. 1330 01:27:00,091 --> 01:27:02,760 I feel like I'm past my prime. 1331 01:27:02,844 --> 01:27:05,263 You're telling me! 1332 01:27:05,346 --> 01:27:08,308 - All I want to do is nap. - Mmm. 1333 01:27:09,350 --> 01:27:13,313 I'd take a good nap over that painting, meditation bullshit. 1334 01:27:16,608 --> 01:27:19,027 Money doesn't fix it. 1335 01:27:19,110 --> 01:27:20,695 Ass doesn't fix it. 1336 01:27:22,071 --> 01:27:23,071 Ass? 1337 01:27:24,115 --> 01:27:25,283 No bueno. 1338 01:27:26,242 --> 01:27:27,577 Pino's ass? 1339 01:27:28,870 --> 01:27:29,870 Tight. 1340 01:27:30,455 --> 01:27:31,873 Treacherous. 1341 01:27:34,876 --> 01:27:39,130 I just wanna find somebody to sail off into the sunset with. 1342 01:27:39,213 --> 01:27:42,800 I mean, fuck a couple of people up along the way, right, just for fun. 1343 01:27:42,884 --> 01:27:46,429 I like a man like you. 1344 01:27:46,512 --> 01:27:48,431 Masculine. 1345 01:27:53,561 --> 01:27:55,855 I've never tried Mexican. 1346 01:27:58,816 --> 01:28:03,029 I think that you would find it most appealing. 1347 01:28:04,697 --> 01:28:07,575 ♪ Falling in love again ♪ 1348 01:28:08,576 --> 01:28:11,621 - Okay, so I've been thinking. - Uh-oh. 1349 01:28:12,580 --> 01:28:15,625 I've been thinking about giving the Maddox name a try. 1350 01:28:15,708 --> 01:28:18,836 But it has to include some personalized towels. 1351 01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:20,630 - Towels? - Mm-hmm. 1352 01:28:22,465 --> 01:28:24,300 Expensive towels. 1353 01:28:25,176 --> 01:28:28,596 - And how many points is that? - Oh, forget about the points. 1354 01:28:28,680 --> 01:28:32,308 I stopped counting when we were down by like a thousand. 1355 01:28:32,392 --> 01:28:34,268 A thousand's an exaggeration. 1356 01:28:34,352 --> 01:28:37,522 It was stupid anyway. I can't rationalize this marriage. 1357 01:28:37,605 --> 01:28:42,068 And I can't rationalize why I love you. But I do. 1358 01:28:45,613 --> 01:28:49,242 And so Abby and Travis agreed, 1359 01:28:49,325 --> 01:28:51,703 "Till death do us part." 1360 01:28:53,329 --> 01:28:56,290 As long as they don't kill each other. 1361 01:28:56,374 --> 01:28:57,667 Adios, amigos! 1362 01:29:11,264 --> 01:29:12,515 Jesus, Roger! 1363 01:29:15,309 --> 01:29:17,311 Jesus Christ! 1364 01:34:32,126 --> 01:34:35,212 ♪ My name is Thumbelina I'm three feet tall ♪ 1365 01:34:35,296 --> 01:34:38,591 ♪ My mommy always told me "Fuck, you're small" ♪ 1366 01:34:38,674 --> 01:34:41,677 ♪ My neighbors, they tease me It sends me in a roll ♪ 1367 01:34:41,761 --> 01:34:44,972 ♪ I fuck them up for money after all ♪ 1368 01:34:45,056 --> 01:34:47,183 Subtitling: Dubbing Brothers 106396

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