All language subtitles for 3rd_Rock_from_the_Sun-1x14

These deodorants
are a rip-off,

they always run out by
the time I get to my feet.

Dick, the mail's here.

Ooh, it's my package
from the carousel Cd club.

You infiltrated a club?
- Good work, Harry!

I got 10 CDs
for one penny.

All I've got to do is buy
eight more at regular store prices

which are often at or
below retail store prices.

Well, way to go.
- Like taking candy from a baby.

Such primitive
technology.

I wonder if the people on
this planet will ever discover

the superior sound
of vinyl.

What kind of music did you get?
- I told them to surprise me.

well, this is surprising.

Uh... why am I
doing this?

Same reason I'm doing
this, I suppose.

This is very powerful.

I'm feelin' funky

This is not good.

I can't stop!
- Nobody panic.

Let's get out of here!

Enriched wheat flour,
Butylated Hydroxyanisole,

sodium acid pyrophosphate.

Needs more Butylated
Hydroxyanisole.

Isn't this interesting?

They opened up a
hard rock cafe in Vietnam.

The world
has changed, huh?

It sure has.

Once it was completely
covered with ice.

The administration
office called.

They contacted Stanford about
transferring your graduate records,

but they don't seem
to have them.

Are you implying that
I don't have records?

All humans have records,
and I'm a human.

Therefore, I have records.

I'm sorry, but Stanford says
they have no record of you at all.

Oh, those incompetents.

Do I have to fly out to Denver
and straighten this out myself?

Stanford's in California,
not Denver.

Well, that explains it. They
lost my records in the move.

So you were at Stanford
in the '60s.

Ah, who wasn't?
- I was at Berkeley.

God, that takes me back.

I remember I was at
Stanford once to protest at..

there's only two things
I know about the '60s:

I wasn't born yet, and no one cares. Peace.

I guess you had to be there.
- Apparently so.

It was fun though
wasn't it?

Out-of-control,
mind-numbing,

self-destructive fun.

It sounds like a clich� but

I actually remember
burning my bra

in front of the Lincoln
reflecting pool.

I hope you had the good sense
to jump in and put yourself out.

God, I was a rebel.

You wouldn't believe it
to look at me now,

but back then
I was a wild woman.

If I wanted to do something, I just did it.

Did you ever drop acid?
- Oh, constantly.

You did a lot of tripping?
- That's how I dropped the acid.

No, seriously,
I want to know.

Were you involved in any movements?
- Well, uh, uh, this one.

It's one of my favorites.

Dr. Solomon,
every time

I ask you
about your past,

you change the subject.

You know who keeps changing the
subject all the time? My students.

One of them is going to
Alaska. How's your brother?

Dick, I'm here. Let's go.
- You heard him. Gotta go.

You call your father Dick?
- Yeah.

When he was younger,
I used to call him peanut.

Have to run. See you
tomorrow. Have a wonderful night.

''What about Tommy''

''He'Il miss you
when you go''

''Ma's on her own''

''Karen's almost grown''

this is so sad.

''Worried so''...

country singers have
really tough lives.

''stay with Dad awhile''

Why?

What's her complaint?
She lives in a trailer.

She could just
roll away somewhere,

and the Cd club
would never find her.

What are you
talking about?

Do you have any idea
what's involved with this?

The paperwork,
the decisions.

Why didn't I go with the
cheese of the month club?

No guesswork,

just cheese.

That was a fiasco. You're
the information officer.

How can you brief us on American
history and leave out an entire decade?

So I left out the '60s.
So what?

Exactly how far back did
you establish our identities?

Five or six... months.

Your assignment
was to provide

full and complete
histories for all of us.

I had a book report due on "are
you there, god? It's me, Margaret."

Tommy, I'm not sure
you understand

the importance of this.

Humans are creations
of their past.

Society, culture,
even biology,

demand that they carry around
their past like baggage.

And your lack of effort almost
exposed the entire operation.

Fine. So from now on,
my homework comes last.

Those are the house
rules, mister.

Hello! Hello!

I found those books on the '60s.
- Good, good.

Never mind the bourbon stains.
- Thank you, Mrs. D.

Oh, the '60s. What a lovely, lovely decade.

A lot of the stuff in this
apartment is from the '60s.

Boy, classic things
never go out of style.

Those long-haired freaks
thought they were so cool.

Let me tell you
one thing.

I was reading poetry
with Jack Kerouac

in a cage in 1956,

both of us buck naked.

Yes, well, thank you

for that disturbing visual.

I didn't hear
Kerouac complain.

Aw, "the electric
kool-Aid acid test."

Getting nostalgic?
- Ah, yes, "those were the days, my friend."

But you know,
all this uproar,

all this rhetoric, all this
talk about mass movements

what's happening here?

History is made by the
individual, not by the masses.

Who said that?
- I did.

No, where is that from?
- My mouth.

No, somebody said that.

Hello.

That was me.

This is so weird.

Right on.
- You've been rinsed and hung out to dry.

Think about it.
Dig it, babe.

That's what's happening.

History is made by the
individual, not by the masses.

Who said that?
- I did.

wow!
- That's beautiful.

What's the matter?
- I couldn't put it together until now.

It finally clicked..
the evasiveness,

consistencies
in your past.

Dick Solomon is a false
identity, isn't it?

False identity? Me?

You could have
trusted me, you know.

Well, I, I, I, I..
- There are so many people in the government

who would love to get
their hands on you.

You can't
let that happen.

They'd parade me around
like an animal.

Don't worry.

Your secret's safe
with me, Manny.

Manny Rosenberg.

But I'm not Manny Rosenberg..
- Of course not,

because Manny Rosenberg

is still being hunted

by the Fbi.

For food or sport?

So Manny Rosenberg was..

what?

Manny Rosenberg
was an act

What?

Excuse me.

Okay, where was I?

Manny Rosenberg
was an activist

involved in inciting
a riot in 1971.

Is there anything else?
- I'm looking, I'm looking.

All right, I found
another box in the basement.

What's "x-mas"?
- I don't know,

but it's got to be something
psychedelic. Check this out.

This is heavy.
- Far out.

My mind is blown.
- Who is this?

I think it's
jerry Garcia.

Look, here's a picture
of Manny Rosenberg.

He looks exactly
like you.

Oh, damn!

I was supposed to get
a completely original body.

Those guys in research
can't do anything right.

What do you expect?
They're non-union.

This could really
be trouble.

Tommy, how are you coming
along with our histories?

I have them right here

legal documents,
school records,

doctored pictures,
the works.

Dick Solomon, class nerd, held
back by a domineering mother,

went to work for Nasa in '74, but was
fired after a minor procurement scandal.

Newspaper clippings
are enclosed.

Major burnout led to a string
of second-rate teaching jobs,

yada, yada, yada, ending up here.
- This is excellent.

What about me?
- Stockbroker during the greedy '80s.

Made and lost several fortunes
before psychological problems

and gender confusion led to a
sex change operation in 1988.

I'm next.
- Harry, you're adopted,

but we haven't
told you yet.

Ohh, that's gonna hurt.

Dr. Albright,
I'm glad you're here.

Good morning,
Dr. Solomon.

Yes, well, I'd
like to clear up

a few misunderstandings
about yesterday.

For some reason,
you mistakenly think

that I'm this
Manny Rosenberg fellow.

I brought in this
documentation to prove....

Oh don't even bother.

I told you
you could trust me.

You probably don't remember,
but we've actually met before.

You spoke
at my campus in '69.

Now, that's impossible.
I was in the circus then.

The flying solomoskis.
There were six of us.

Two of us plunged
to our deaths.

I don't expect you to remember me,
what with all the people you've met.

You're sitting on my desk.
You've never done that before.

Do you remember ever being
at Berkeley, at a rally?

You're not listening to me. I
brought all this in to prove to you

the stories you must have.
- What?

You know I'd be lying
if I said I found this

less than intriguing.

Well, all those years
underground, you do a lot of living.

Harry?

You got another package
from the Cd club.

I don't have time to listen
to the ones I have.

Those demons,
they're not human.

Neither are we.

Well, yeah, but we have
an excuse. Hello.

I'm off to Dr. Albright's.

She bought my phony profile, huh?
- I don't even need it.

She likes me much better,
now that she thinks I'm Manny.

Oh, great, so after all I went through

creating a background
for you?

Do you realize I got you
a weekend in Canc�n

with twin gymnasts?

All I got at the orphanage
was a beating

when I asked
for more gruel.

hello.
- For you.

You shouldn't have.

I'm glad you came.

And to think
all this time

I was just a desk away

from danger.

The thought of the F.B.I.
watching us right now

is such a turn-on.

Yes. And even
if I wasn't Manny,

it would be
just as exciting.

Don't be silly.

Are these...
"magic" brownies?

Pepperidge farm.

You know, I think
I have something.

I found it when I moved eight
years ago. It's in the freezer.

It's a joint.

Oh, a doobie.

Let's Bogart
that fat boy.

You know what I regret? I
never made it to Woodstock.

Ah, yes, Woodstock,
the three-day concert

held on a farm
in upstate new York

that included many of the most
popular music bands of the time,

felt to be the culmination of
the counterculture movement,

captured by the song, "
Woodstock," by Joni Mitchell.

Found it!
- The song was popularized

by Crosby, stills & Nash,
which is ironic

since theirs was the more
commercial version

which is the antithesis of
the spirit of the festival.

Here we go.

This isn't a joint.

It's a frozen French fry.

Oh, well, I guess we'll
just settle for wine.

You're an inspiration
to all...

neo-trotskyite
anti-Stalinist Marxists.

You know, you're pretty
tuned in for a bourgeois chick.

Meet me on the waterbed
upstairs in five minutes.

Oh, and, uh...

lose the pins.

What?

Here's to... waterbeds.

Okay..here's to...

floor lamps.

Hello.
Carousel Cd club?

I'll call back later.
- Do not hang up that phone.

You can do
this, Harry.

You can break free.

You can take
your mind back,

or at least
what's left of it.

Okay, Sally, I will.

Listen to me, buster. I'm not
happy, and I want my money back.

Very good.
- I'm supposed to press "2" now.

Yes. Hello?
We need to talk.

I'm at a place
in my life

where I'm just not ready
for this kind of commitment.

I think it's best
that we break free,

go our separate ways.

You will?

Oh, thanks!

Hmm?

Well...

yes, I guess
I do have a friend

who might be interested.

Her name is
Sally Solomon.

Oh! Oh,
I can't believe

we're doing this.

Your hands are
so small and delicate.

I'm not positive,

but I think I can fit
your entire foot in my mouth.

Oh!

You are a superfreak.

"The kind you don't
take home to mother."

Oh, Manny, Manny!

Now I'm feeling
a moral dilemma.

I'm not sure I can
go through with this.

My bedroom's upstairs.

Race ya.

Oh, what the hell.

What the hell...?
- Don't be uptight, babe.

Leave your hang-ups
in suburbia.

You're leaving?
- You bet your bippy I am.

hey!
- You miserable creep!

I don't understand.
- Think about it.

It's like you put a
purple haze inside my brain.

Give it a rest.

What did I do wrong?
- You know what you did.

Come on, Manny.
Berkeley..1969.

Oh, you're mad
at Manny.

Yes, Dr. Albright

is mad at Manny.

Oh! Oh, Manny.
It's okay

because I have something
to tell you

that's going to straighten
this whole thing out.

I'm not Manny.

Isn't that ironic?

Right, you're
not Manny.

You just look
exactly like him,

know everything
about his past,

and have been carrying on this
ridiculous charade for three days.

You know me so well.

Boy, I have been handed

some lame stories
in my life,

but you take the cake.

I don't want the cake.
I want you.

Oh, my god,
you ARE Dick Solomon.

And you let me make
a complete fool of myself!

How could you do that?

I needed to tell you.
I was going to tell you.

What stopped you?
- I thought you might sleep with me.

Oh.

Now I understand.
- Oh, thank goodness.

Get out!

You selfish, inconsiderate,
opportunistic bastard!

You're right.

I guess I'll be going.

About inconsiderate,
I did bring brownies.

I sure am glad you won't be getting
any more of these CDs in the mail.

Yeah, and even
if we do,

there's no reason to think that I
would have anything to do with it

cause I didn't.

Dick, someone's
here to see you.

I don't want to be seen.
Tell them that I'm not here.

He's not here, Dr. Albright, so go away.

Mary! Mary!

You've come
back to me

because you've forgiven me
for what I've done

and.. and because
you realise

that my deceit,
although sophomoric,

was meant as a pure
gesture of affection.

Well..some of that.

Would you leave the two
of us alone for a minute?

Sure.

Remember every word.
We want all the details.

Will do.

Look, I.. I may
have overreacted

to this Manny thing.

And I understand
that men have a tendency

to go overboard to
impress me. I understand that.

The only reason
I pretended to be Manny

is because you liked him
so much more than me.

Manny wasn't
what he seemed,

but you are exactly
what you seem.

And I'll admit that

your lack of nuance
is refreshing.

Damn, I think
I'm wearing

Harry's underwear again.

Well, a little nuance
wouldn't hurt.

So we're still friends?

Peace.