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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. World of Warcraft - Outland PVP (EU) - Torporr (name) 2 00:00:54,695 --> 00:00:58,187 This is a story about a man named Harold Crick. 3 00:00:58,398 --> 00:01:00,628 And his wristwatch. 4 00:01:01,201 --> 00:01:03,897 Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers... 5 00:01:04,104 --> 00:01:07,767 ...endless calculations and remarkably few words. 6 00:01:07,975 --> 00:01:10,842 And his wristwatch said even less. 7 00:01:12,579 --> 00:01:15,412 Every weekday, for 12 years... 8 00:01:15,616 --> 00:01:21,054 ...Harold would brush each of his 32 teeth 76 times. 9 00:01:22,656 --> 00:01:25,181 Thirty-eight times back and forth. 10 00:01:25,726 --> 00:01:28,058 Thirty-eight times up and down. 11 00:01:29,530 --> 00:01:32,124 Every weekday, for 12 years... 12 00:01:32,332 --> 00:01:36,393 ...Harold would tie his tie in a single Windsor knot instead of the double... 13 00:01:36,603 --> 00:01:39,629 ...thereby saving up to 43 seconds. 14 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:45,142 His wristwatch thought the single Windsor made his neck look fat... 15 00:01:45,345 --> 00:01:46,937 ...but said nothing. 16 00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:52,647 Every weekday, for 12 years... 17 00:01:52,853 --> 00:01:57,483 ...Harold would run at a rate of nearly 57 steps per block for six blocks... 18 00:01:57,691 --> 00:02:01,024 ...barely catching the 8:17 Kronecker bus. 19 00:02:01,662 --> 00:02:03,289 His wristwatch would delight... 20 00:02:03,497 --> 00:02:07,399 ...in the feeling of the crisp wind rushing over its face. 21 00:02:16,076 --> 00:02:18,010 And every weekday, for 12 years... 22 00:02:18,212 --> 00:02:21,579 ...Harold would review 7. 134 tax files... 23 00:02:21,782 --> 00:02:25,650 ...as a senior agent for the Internal Revenue Service. 24 00:02:26,186 --> 00:02:29,815 Regs section 1 .469-2 (B) (i), Diane. Thanks. 25 00:02:30,023 --> 00:02:32,389 Good morning. IRS. 26 00:02:33,393 --> 00:02:36,157 Harold, 89 times 1417? 27 00:02:36,897 --> 00:02:39,024 126,113. 28 00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:40,200 That adds up. 29 00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:44,899 Only taking a 45. 7-minute lunch break... 30 00:02:46,006 --> 00:02:49,305 ...and a 4.3-minute coffee break... 31 00:02:49,509 --> 00:02:52,603 ...timed precisely by his wristwatch. 32 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,206 Oh, great. 33 00:02:54,414 --> 00:02:56,712 Yeah, we'll go to Mullen's or we'll... 34 00:02:57,351 --> 00:03:01,447 Beyond that, Harold lived a life of solitude. 35 00:03:02,456 --> 00:03:04,720 He would walk home alone. 36 00:03:06,627 --> 00:03:09,061 He would eat alone. 37 00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:20,438 And at precisely 11:13 every night... 38 00:03:20,641 --> 00:03:23,405 ...Harold would go to bed alone... 39 00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:28,411 ...placing his wristwatch to rest on the nightstand beside him. 40 00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:33,576 That was, of course, before Wednesday. 41 00:03:35,222 --> 00:03:40,421 On Wednesday, Harold's wristwatch changed everything. 42 00:03:46,967 --> 00:03:48,594 Oh, my God, you got it? 43 00:03:48,802 --> 00:03:49,928 I got it. 44 00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:51,835 I got it. 45 00:04:04,551 --> 00:04:07,019 If one had asked Harold, he would have said... 46 00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:12,021 ...that this particular Wednesday was exactly like all the Wednesdays prior. 47 00:04:12,225 --> 00:04:14,352 And he began it the same way he-- 48 00:04:25,138 --> 00:04:28,369 And he began it the same way he always did. 49 00:04:31,611 --> 00:04:32,703 Hello? 50 00:04:42,389 --> 00:04:45,586 He began it the same way he always did. 51 00:04:45,792 --> 00:04:47,419 When others' minds would-- 52 00:04:47,627 --> 00:04:48,924 Hello? Is someone there? 53 00:04:56,303 --> 00:04:59,966 When others' minds would fantasize about their upcoming day... 54 00:05:00,173 --> 00:05:04,269 ...or even try to grip onto the final moments of their dreams... 55 00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:08,312 ...Harold just counted brushstrokes. 56 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:13,278 All right, who just said, "Harold just counted brushstrokes"? 57 00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,785 And how do you know I'm counting brushstrokes? 58 00:05:16,456 --> 00:05:17,855 Hello? 59 00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:24,260 It was remarkable how the simple, modest-- 60 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:28,892 It was remarkable h-- 61 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:37,333 It was remarkable how the simple, modest elements of Harold's life... 62 00:05:37,544 --> 00:05:39,705 ...so often taken for granted... 63 00:05:39,913 --> 00:05:45,317 ...would become the catalyst for an entirely new life. 64 00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,081 Harold ran for the bus... 65 00:05:48,288 --> 00:05:51,587 ...his stiff leather shoes making a terrible squeaking sound... 66 00:05:51,792 --> 00:05:54,488 ...as they flexed against the asphalt. 67 00:05:59,933 --> 00:06:03,494 And though this was an extraordinary day... 68 00:06:03,703 --> 00:06:07,537 ...a day to be remembered for the rest of Harold's life... 69 00:06:07,741 --> 00:06:10,505 ...Harold just thought it was a Wednesday. 70 00:06:11,378 --> 00:06:13,005 I'm sorry, did you hear that? 71 00:06:14,247 --> 00:06:17,080 The voice. Did you hear it? "Harold thought it was a Wednesday"? 72 00:06:17,884 --> 00:06:19,715 Don't worry, it is Wednesday. 73 00:06:20,187 --> 00:06:23,953 No, no, did you hear it? "Harold just thought it was a Wednesday"? 74 00:06:24,791 --> 00:06:27,419 - Who's Harold? - I'm Harold. 75 00:06:28,028 --> 00:06:30,223 Harold, it's okay, it's Wednesday. 76 00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:31,897 No, no, I... 77 00:06:32,466 --> 00:06:34,058 Never mind. 78 00:06:35,635 --> 00:06:38,069 Harold couldn't concentrate on his work. 79 00:06:38,271 --> 00:06:39,238 Excuse me, Harold? 80 00:06:39,439 --> 00:06:42,374 His thoughts were scattered. His mind elsewhere. 81 00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:43,907 Sorry. 82 00:06:44,311 --> 00:06:46,939 Someone here should be able to fix-- Hold on a second. 83 00:06:47,147 --> 00:06:50,412 Hey, Harold. What's 67 times 453? 84 00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:54,417 When a coworker asked the product of 67 and 453... 85 00:06:54,621 --> 00:06:56,816 You know what? I can't think while you're talking. 86 00:06:57,023 --> 00:06:58,513 ...he drew a blank. 87 00:06:58,725 --> 00:06:59,692 - What? - What? 88 00:06:59,926 --> 00:07:04,022 - Harold quickly answered, "30,351." - What? Oh, nothing. 30,351. 89 00:07:04,231 --> 00:07:07,530 Despite the answer really being 31,305. 90 00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:12,330 Wait, wait, wait, 31,305. Sorry. 91 00:07:15,075 --> 00:07:18,374 Dude, I just totally caught some insurance adjuster... 92 00:07:18,578 --> 00:07:21,240 ...claiming his jet ski as a work vehicle. 93 00:07:23,116 --> 00:07:24,481 I'll tell you, it is a shame... 94 00:07:24,684 --> 00:07:27,619 ...that they don't give out an auditor of the year award. 95 00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:31,254 Dude? 96 00:07:32,192 --> 00:07:33,591 You okay? 97 00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:36,821 Dave, I'm being followed. 98 00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:44,035 How are you being followed? You're not moving. 99 00:07:44,337 --> 00:07:47,135 - It's by a voice. - What? 100 00:07:47,340 --> 00:07:50,138 I'm being followed by a woman's voice. 101 00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:54,613 Okay. 102 00:07:56,483 --> 00:07:58,314 What is she saying? 103 00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:00,987 She's narrating. 104 00:08:05,692 --> 00:08:08,627 Harold, you're staring at boxes, what is she narrating? 105 00:08:08,828 --> 00:08:11,126 No, no, no. I had to stop filing. 106 00:08:11,331 --> 00:08:13,162 Watch. Watch. Listen. Listen. 107 00:08:15,335 --> 00:08:17,633 The sound the paper made against the folder... 108 00:08:17,837 --> 00:08:22,103 ...had the same tone as a wave scraping against sand. 109 00:08:23,376 --> 00:08:24,968 And when Harold thought about it... 110 00:08:25,178 --> 00:08:27,408 ...he listened to enough waves every day... 111 00:08:27,614 --> 00:08:32,483 ...to constitute what he imagined to be a deep and endless ocean. 112 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,219 Did you hear that? 113 00:08:35,422 --> 00:08:36,821 You mean you filing? 114 00:08:37,023 --> 00:08:38,615 No, no, no, the voice. 115 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:40,954 No. 116 00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:46,798 Frightening part is sometimes I do imagine a deep and endless ocean. 117 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,131 What ocean? 118 00:08:49,336 --> 00:08:52,328 The one made by the sound-- Forget it. 119 00:08:52,539 --> 00:08:54,507 New audits. Have a good day. 120 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,005 Thank you. 121 00:08:58,345 --> 00:09:03,806 All right, we got a baker and a securities trader. 122 00:09:07,921 --> 00:09:09,548 Maybe you should take the baker. 123 00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:11,852 - Okay? - Okay. 124 00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:22,691 Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! 125 00:09:22,902 --> 00:09:25,928 - You miscreant. - I understand. 126 00:09:26,439 --> 00:09:30,569 Oh, get bent, taxman! 127 00:09:30,777 --> 00:09:32,836 - Taxman! - Taxman! 128 00:09:34,047 --> 00:09:35,878 Taxman! 129 00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:39,551 Go home! 130 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:42,415 Listen, is there somewhere else we could talk about this? 131 00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:48,420 No. We're gonna talk about this right here. 132 00:09:48,795 --> 00:09:54,256 Okay. It says, the file, that you only paid part of your taxes for last year. 133 00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:57,527 - That's right. - Looks like only 78 percent. 134 00:09:57,737 --> 00:09:59,398 Yep. 135 00:10:00,407 --> 00:10:01,772 So you did it on purpose? 136 00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:03,237 Yep. 137 00:10:03,443 --> 00:10:05,274 So you must have been expecting an audit? 138 00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:11,042 I was expecting a fine... 139 00:10:11,951 --> 00:10:14,818 ...or a sharp reprimand. 140 00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:18,119 A reprimand? This isn't boarding school, Ms. Pascal. 141 00:10:18,324 --> 00:10:19,951 You stole from the government. 142 00:10:20,727 --> 00:10:26,029 No, I didn't steal from the government. I just didn't pay you entirely. 143 00:10:26,232 --> 00:10:29,133 Ms. Pascal, you can't just not pay your taxes. 144 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:31,901 Yes, I can. 145 00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:33,902 You can if you wanna get audited. 146 00:10:34,174 --> 00:10:37,666 Only if I recognize your right to audit me, Mr. Crick. 147 00:10:38,211 --> 00:10:40,577 Ms. Pascal, I'm right here auditing you. 148 00:10:41,047 --> 00:10:43,038 Now I have to go over your past three years... 149 00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:45,149 ...to make sure that's all you haven't paid. 150 00:10:45,618 --> 00:10:46,778 Fine. 151 00:10:48,154 --> 00:10:51,180 Actually, you know, it's not fine. 152 00:10:51,391 --> 00:10:55,293 Listen, I'm a big supporter of fixing potholes... 153 00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:58,828 ...and erecting swing sets and building shelters. 154 00:10:59,032 --> 00:11:02,263 I am more than happy to pay those taxes. 155 00:11:03,069 --> 00:11:06,903 I'm just not such a big fan of the percentage... 156 00:11:07,107 --> 00:11:10,702 ...that the government uses for national defense... 157 00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:14,471 ...corporate bailouts and campaign discretionary funds. 158 00:11:14,681 --> 00:11:18,208 So I didn't pay those taxes. 159 00:11:18,418 --> 00:11:20,045 I think, actually... 160 00:11:20,253 --> 00:11:23,950 ...I sent a letter to that effect with my return. 161 00:11:24,424 --> 00:11:28,326 Would it be the letter that begins, "Dear Imperialist Swine"? 162 00:11:28,528 --> 00:11:29,756 Yes. 163 00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:35,463 Ms. Pascal, what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist? 164 00:11:36,436 --> 00:11:41,066 - You mean am I a member of--? - An anarchist group, yes. 165 00:11:42,175 --> 00:11:44,405 Anarchists have a group? 166 00:11:44,611 --> 00:11:46,044 I believe so. Sure. 167 00:11:46,513 --> 00:11:47,741 They assemble? 168 00:11:49,449 --> 00:11:51,246 I don't know. 169 00:11:52,118 --> 00:11:55,986 Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose? 170 00:11:56,389 --> 00:12:00,485 It was difficult for Harold to imagine Ms. Pascal as a revolutionary. 171 00:12:00,693 --> 00:12:01,921 - Not now. - Her thin arms... 172 00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:04,153 - What? - ...hoisting protest signs. 173 00:12:04,364 --> 00:12:05,888 - Her long shapely legs... - Nothing. 174 00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:08,727 ...dashing from tear gas. 175 00:12:09,035 --> 00:12:11,333 Harold wasn't prone to fantasies... 176 00:12:11,538 --> 00:12:15,133 ...and so he tried his best to remain professional. 177 00:12:15,842 --> 00:12:17,707 But, of course, failed. 178 00:12:18,178 --> 00:12:21,375 He couldn't help but imagine Ms. Pascal... 179 00:12:21,581 --> 00:12:25,574 ...stroking the side of his face with the soft blade of her finger. 180 00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:30,389 He couldn't help but imagine her immersed in a tub... 181 00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:32,990 ...shaving her legs. 182 00:12:33,193 --> 00:12:36,856 And he couldn't help but imagine her naked... 183 00:12:37,063 --> 00:12:39,554 - ...stretched across his bed. - Mr. Crick? 184 00:12:42,135 --> 00:12:45,036 - Mr. Crick. - Yes, what is it? 185 00:12:45,238 --> 00:12:47,934 You're staring at my tits. 186 00:12:49,742 --> 00:12:53,200 I wa--? I don't think I was. I don't think I would do that. 187 00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:55,040 If I was, I can assure you... 188 00:12:55,248 --> 00:12:58,479 ...it was only as a representative of the United States government. 189 00:12:59,185 --> 00:13:04,953 Sorry, I'm just having issues today. So I'll be back on Tuesday. 190 00:13:07,694 --> 00:13:11,960 Harold suddenly found himself beleaguered and exasperated... 191 00:13:12,165 --> 00:13:14,565 - ...outside the bakery... - Shut up! 192 00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,735 ...cursing the heavens in futility. 193 00:13:16,936 --> 00:13:19,166 No, I'm not, I'm cursing you, you stupid voice! 194 00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:22,307 So shut up and leave me alone! 195 00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:51,263 Hey, watch it! 196 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,591 Excuse me. 197 00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:25,270 Excuse me. 198 00:14:29,742 --> 00:14:31,107 Are you Miss Eiffel? 199 00:14:33,713 --> 00:14:34,805 - Yes. - Excellent. 200 00:14:35,014 --> 00:14:36,538 May I ask what you're doing? 201 00:14:38,151 --> 00:14:39,641 Research. 202 00:14:39,852 --> 00:14:41,717 - Oh, am I interrupting? - Yes. 203 00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:44,822 I'm sorry. I'm Penny Escher. 204 00:14:45,024 --> 00:14:46,889 I'm the assistant your publishers hired. 205 00:14:48,027 --> 00:14:51,190 - The spy. - The assistant. 206 00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:53,831 I provide the same services as a secretary. 207 00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,063 I don't need a secretary. 208 00:14:56,836 --> 00:14:59,828 Then I will have to find some other way of occupying my time. 209 00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:01,666 Like watching me like a vulture... 210 00:15:01,874 --> 00:15:04,604 ...because the publishers think I have writer's block, right? 211 00:15:05,545 --> 00:15:07,410 Do you have writer's block? 212 00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,517 Are these pages? 213 00:15:12,719 --> 00:15:15,187 They're letters. To me. 214 00:15:15,888 --> 00:15:18,789 - Are you writing back? - I don't respond to letters. 215 00:15:19,425 --> 00:15:22,053 And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes? 216 00:15:22,528 --> 00:15:24,792 No, they came pre-smoked. 217 00:15:25,264 --> 00:15:27,732 Yeah, they said you were funny. 218 00:15:31,738 --> 00:15:34,434 What do you think about leaping off a building? 219 00:15:35,508 --> 00:15:37,305 I don't think about leaping off buildings. 220 00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:40,308 - Yes, you do. - No. I try to think of nice things. 221 00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:42,447 Everyone thinks about leaping off buildings. 222 00:15:42,648 --> 00:15:46,311 Well, I certainly don't think about leaping off of a building. 223 00:15:53,493 --> 00:15:55,256 They say-- 224 00:16:00,566 --> 00:16:03,467 I read this in this fantastically depressing book. 225 00:16:04,604 --> 00:16:07,129 --that when you jump from a building... 226 00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:10,673 ...it's rarely the impact that actually kills you. 227 00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,237 Well, I'm sure it doesn't help. 228 00:16:13,613 --> 00:16:17,606 There's a photograph in the book called The Leaper. 229 00:16:17,817 --> 00:16:19,341 It's old, but it's beautiful. 230 00:16:20,253 --> 00:16:24,019 From above the corpse of a woman who'd just leapt to her death. 231 00:16:24,290 --> 00:16:28,283 There's blood around her head, like a halo... 232 00:16:28,494 --> 00:16:31,622 ...and her leg's buckled underneath, her arm's snapped like a twig... 233 00:16:33,032 --> 00:16:35,523 ...but her face is so serene... 234 00:16:36,069 --> 00:16:38,128 ...so at peace. 235 00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:40,538 And I think it's because when she died... 236 00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:44,141 ...she could feel the wind against her face. 237 00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:53,714 I don't know how to kill Harold Crick. That's why they sent you. 238 00:16:54,287 --> 00:16:56,255 Yes, to help you. 239 00:16:57,490 --> 00:16:58,957 How are you gonna help me? 240 00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:01,285 You, who never thinks of leaping off buildings? 241 00:17:01,494 --> 00:17:04,088 What great inspiration will you bestow on me? 242 00:17:04,297 --> 00:17:06,595 I'll tell you, the quaint ideas you've gathered... 243 00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:08,824 ...in your adorable career as an "assistant"... 244 00:17:09,035 --> 00:17:11,868 ...are to no avail when faced with killing a man. 245 00:17:12,572 --> 00:17:14,335 I understand. 246 00:17:14,674 --> 00:17:17,370 Do you? I can't just-- 247 00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:25,580 As much as I would like to... 248 00:17:25,785 --> 00:17:29,516 ...I cannot simply throw Harold Crick off a building. 249 00:17:36,195 --> 00:17:41,428 Miss Eiffel. Kay. I've been an author's assistant for 11 years. 250 00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:44,398 I've helped more than 20 authors complete more than 35 books... 251 00:17:44,604 --> 00:17:46,663 ...and I've never missed the deadline. 252 00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,865 And I have never gone back to the publisher to ask for more time. 253 00:17:50,076 --> 00:17:53,512 Now, I will be available to you every minute of every day... 254 00:17:53,713 --> 00:17:57,342 ...until the final punctuation is embedded on the very last page. 255 00:17:57,550 --> 00:18:01,919 I do not like loud music. I do not abide narcotics. 256 00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:07,420 And I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick. 257 00:18:16,335 --> 00:18:20,704 I had a very interesting little convo with someone in your section. 258 00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:22,101 Yeah? 259 00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:26,240 They said you were feeling a little wibbly-wobbly. 260 00:18:29,382 --> 00:18:31,441 Catch a little cubicle fever? 261 00:18:31,984 --> 00:18:33,952 Oh, I don't know. I think I'm okay. 262 00:18:34,687 --> 00:18:39,920 Harold, a tree doesn't think it's a tree... 263 00:18:40,259 --> 00:18:42,318 ...it is a tree. 264 00:18:42,828 --> 00:18:45,626 Why was Harold talking to this man? 265 00:18:46,132 --> 00:18:48,600 This man was an idiot. 266 00:18:48,801 --> 00:18:54,296 This man used words like "wibbly-wobbly" and "convo." 267 00:18:54,774 --> 00:18:57,902 And explained that trees were trees. 268 00:18:58,444 --> 00:19:00,173 Of course trees were trees. 269 00:19:00,379 --> 00:19:02,108 Harold knew trees were trees. 270 00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,942 I am going to believe you, Harold. 271 00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:06,584 What Harold didn't know was why he couldn't shake... 272 00:19:06,786 --> 00:19:09,346 ...the smell of brownies from his senses. 273 00:19:09,555 --> 00:19:14,015 Why Ms. Pascal had made his fingertips quiver and lips go numb. 274 00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:16,893 Harold? 275 00:19:19,298 --> 00:19:21,425 Yes? Sorry. 276 00:19:22,034 --> 00:19:24,195 What's going on, Harold? 277 00:19:25,705 --> 00:19:26,967 Well... 278 00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:32,503 Nothing. Everything's fine. 279 00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:37,749 Listen, according to your records... 280 00:19:37,950 --> 00:19:42,614 ...you haven't taken vacation in a few years now. 281 00:19:42,822 --> 00:19:45,950 Let's say you take a little break. 282 00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,925 Use some of that vaca time. 283 00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:53,896 Yeah. I'll think about it. 284 00:19:58,237 --> 00:19:59,602 Harold. 285 00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:06,341 I'm not really supposed to do this, but... 286 00:20:25,631 --> 00:20:28,156 Harold assumed his watch was simply on the fritz... 287 00:20:28,367 --> 00:20:32,167 ...and never even considered that it might be trying to tell him something. 288 00:20:35,107 --> 00:20:38,167 In fact, Harold had never once paid attention to his watch... 289 00:20:38,377 --> 00:20:40,242 ...other than to find out the time. 290 00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:44,712 And, honestly, it drove his watch crazy. 291 00:20:45,117 --> 00:20:47,517 And so, on this particular Wednesday evening... 292 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,087 ...as Harold waited for the bus, his watch suddenly... 293 00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:53,789 ...stopped. 294 00:20:55,528 --> 00:20:57,291 Sorry, does anyone have the time? 295 00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:01,461 - Yeah, I got 6:18. - Thanks. 296 00:21:01,667 --> 00:21:07,765 Thus Harold's watch thrust him into the immitigable path of fate. 297 00:21:07,973 --> 00:21:12,239 Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act... 298 00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:15,243 ...would result in his imminent death. 299 00:21:15,581 --> 00:21:17,708 What? What? 300 00:21:17,917 --> 00:21:19,908 Hey! Hello? 301 00:21:20,386 --> 00:21:21,785 What? 302 00:21:22,488 --> 00:21:23,750 Why? 303 00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:26,151 Why my death? 304 00:21:26,392 --> 00:21:27,791 Hello! 305 00:21:28,427 --> 00:21:30,486 Excuse me! 306 00:21:30,963 --> 00:21:32,658 When? 307 00:21:33,366 --> 00:21:35,357 How imminent? 308 00:21:36,302 --> 00:21:37,894 Okay, where are you? 309 00:21:45,277 --> 00:21:49,441 "Harold would brush his 32 teeth 72 times." 310 00:21:49,949 --> 00:21:53,510 Why won't you say anything? I heard you. 311 00:21:54,153 --> 00:21:56,314 "That would result in his imminent death." 312 00:21:56,956 --> 00:21:58,753 I heard you! 313 00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:01,085 Come on, you stupid voice. 314 00:22:01,293 --> 00:22:03,853 "Harold frantically grabbed his lamp. 315 00:22:04,830 --> 00:22:09,290 Harold, incensed, shook the hell out of it for no apparent reason! 316 00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:13,165 And smashed it on the ground, kicking it repeatedly! 317 00:22:14,907 --> 00:22:17,774 Harold took his Kleenex box, threw it across the room... 318 00:22:17,977 --> 00:22:19,604 ...then stormed the closet!" 319 00:22:22,314 --> 00:22:24,373 Come on. Say something. 320 00:22:26,585 --> 00:22:29,145 Something. Say something! 321 00:22:30,389 --> 00:22:32,380 Say something! 322 00:22:39,331 --> 00:22:42,164 "Harold, distraught..." 323 00:22:44,069 --> 00:22:45,559 God. 324 00:22:46,038 --> 00:22:48,131 "Harold, distraught..." 325 00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:52,734 "Harold..." 326 00:22:56,882 --> 00:23:01,114 I'm afraid what you're describing is schizophrenia. 327 00:23:03,522 --> 00:23:08,824 No. No. It's not schizophrenia. It's just a voice in my head. 328 00:23:09,028 --> 00:23:12,691 I mean, the voice isn't telling me to do anything. 329 00:23:12,898 --> 00:23:15,389 It's telling me what I've already done. 330 00:23:15,768 --> 00:23:18,601 Accurately and with a better vocabulary. 331 00:23:19,472 --> 00:23:22,407 Mr. Crick, you have a voice speaking to you. 332 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:26,003 No, not to me, about me. 333 00:23:26,479 --> 00:23:31,416 I'm somehow involved in some sort of story. 334 00:23:31,817 --> 00:23:34,377 Like I'm a character in my own life. 335 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,720 But the problem is that the voice comes and goes. 336 00:23:39,024 --> 00:23:42,152 Like there are other parts of the story not being told to me... 337 00:23:42,361 --> 00:23:45,922 ...and I need to find out what those other parts are before it's too late. 338 00:23:46,398 --> 00:23:49,128 Before the story concludes with your death. 339 00:23:49,335 --> 00:23:50,700 Yes. 340 00:23:51,504 --> 00:23:53,972 Mr. Crick, I hate to sound like a broken record... 341 00:23:54,173 --> 00:23:56,471 ...but that's schizophrenia. 342 00:23:57,877 --> 00:24:02,507 You don't sound like a broken record, but it's just not schizophrenia. 343 00:24:03,582 --> 00:24:06,415 What if what I said was true? 344 00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:11,886 Hypothetically speaking, if I was part of a story, a narrative... 345 00:24:12,091 --> 00:24:15,959 ...even if it was only in my mind... 346 00:24:16,295 --> 00:24:17,887 ...what would you suggest that I do? 347 00:24:18,831 --> 00:24:21,925 I would suggest you take prescribed medication. 348 00:24:23,269 --> 00:24:24,896 Other than that. 349 00:24:25,104 --> 00:24:27,004 I don't know. 350 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,701 I suppose I would send you to see someone who knows about literature. 351 00:24:34,013 --> 00:24:35,207 Okay. 352 00:24:36,115 --> 00:24:39,175 Yeah. That's a good idea. 353 00:24:39,885 --> 00:24:41,614 Thank you. 354 00:24:42,254 --> 00:24:44,848 So you're the gentleman who called me about the narrator. 355 00:24:45,057 --> 00:24:47,719 - Yes. - This narrator says you're gonna die. 356 00:24:47,927 --> 00:24:49,053 Yes. 357 00:24:49,261 --> 00:24:52,719 - How long has it given you to live? - I don't know. 358 00:24:52,998 --> 00:24:56,263 Dramatic irony. It'll fuck you every time. 359 00:24:57,269 --> 00:24:59,260 - So you crazy or what? - Well-- 360 00:24:59,471 --> 00:25:01,496 Are you allowed to say that to crazy people? 361 00:25:01,707 --> 00:25:03,834 - I don't know. - Oh, well. How many stairs... 362 00:25:04,043 --> 00:25:06,341 - ...in the hallway out there? - What? 363 00:25:06,545 --> 00:25:08,809 You were counting them as we walked, weren't you? 364 00:25:09,014 --> 00:25:10,208 No. 365 00:25:10,416 --> 00:25:12,111 Of course. What bank do you work at? 366 00:25:12,318 --> 00:25:14,479 No bank. IRS agent. 367 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,212 - Married? - No. 368 00:25:16,422 --> 00:25:17,446 Ever? 369 00:25:17,656 --> 00:25:20,591 Engaged to an auditor. She left me for an actuary. 370 00:25:20,793 --> 00:25:24,559 - How heartbreaking. Live alone? - Yes. 371 00:25:25,864 --> 00:25:29,163 - Any pets? - No. 372 00:25:29,535 --> 00:25:33,403 - Friends? - No. Well, Dave at work. 373 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,803 I see. The narrator, exactly what does he sound like? 374 00:25:38,010 --> 00:25:39,341 It's a woman. 375 00:25:40,579 --> 00:25:41,876 A woman. 376 00:25:42,081 --> 00:25:44,208 - Is it a familiar woman? - No. 377 00:25:44,416 --> 00:25:46,111 Someone you know? 378 00:25:46,986 --> 00:25:48,180 No. 379 00:25:48,387 --> 00:25:51,015 Did you have enough time to count the tiles in the bathroom? 380 00:25:51,590 --> 00:25:53,558 I wasn't counting the tiles. 381 00:25:54,994 --> 00:25:56,757 - Coffee? - No, thank you. 382 00:25:56,962 --> 00:25:58,429 - Sure? - Yes. 383 00:25:59,598 --> 00:26:02,066 So this woman, the voice, told you you're gonna die? 384 00:26:02,267 --> 00:26:04,497 She didn't tell me. She doesn't know I can hear her. 385 00:26:04,703 --> 00:26:06,500 - But she said it. - Yes. 386 00:26:06,705 --> 00:26:07,933 And you believed her. 387 00:26:08,774 --> 00:26:10,571 She's been right about a few other things. 388 00:26:10,776 --> 00:26:14,337 - Such as? - How I felt about work. 389 00:26:14,546 --> 00:26:17,014 - You dislike your work? - Yes. 390 00:26:18,617 --> 00:26:21,245 Well, not the most insightful voice in the world, is it? 391 00:26:21,487 --> 00:26:23,751 First thing on a list of what Americans hate: work. 392 00:26:23,956 --> 00:26:26,618 Second, traffic. Third, missing socks. See what I'm saying? 393 00:26:26,825 --> 00:26:27,792 Sort of. 394 00:26:27,993 --> 00:26:29,984 I told you you were gonna die, you believe me? 395 00:26:30,195 --> 00:26:31,526 - No. - Why? 396 00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:33,095 I don't know you. 397 00:26:33,298 --> 00:26:35,357 - But you don't know this narrator. - Well... 398 00:26:36,635 --> 00:26:41,197 - Okay, Mr. Crick, I can't help you. - Why? 399 00:26:41,407 --> 00:26:44,467 Well, I'm not an expert in crazy, I'm an expert in literature theory. 400 00:26:44,677 --> 00:26:47,111 And I gotta tell you, thus far... 401 00:26:47,312 --> 00:26:50,213 ...there doesn't seem to be a single literary thing about you. 402 00:26:50,416 --> 00:26:53,715 I don't doubt you hear a voice, but it couldn't possibly be a narrator... 403 00:26:53,919 --> 00:26:56,945 ...because, frankly, there doesn't seem to be much to narrate. 404 00:26:57,156 --> 00:26:59,590 Beside that, this semester I'm teaching five courses. 405 00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:01,487 I'm mentoring two doctoral candidates... 406 00:27:01,694 --> 00:27:03,662 ...and I'm the faculty lifeguard at the pool. 407 00:27:05,998 --> 00:27:09,525 - I just thought you could possibly-- - Perhaps you should keep a journal. 408 00:27:09,735 --> 00:27:11,703 Write down what she said or something. 409 00:27:11,904 --> 00:27:14,634 That's all I can suggest. 410 00:27:16,642 --> 00:27:19,236 I can barely remember it all. I just remember: 411 00:27:19,445 --> 00:27:23,939 "Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act... 412 00:27:24,149 --> 00:27:26,617 ...would lead to his imminent death." 413 00:27:26,819 --> 00:27:29,686 - What? - "Little did he know that this--" 414 00:27:29,888 --> 00:27:32,652 - Did you say, "little did he know"? - Yes. 415 00:27:34,126 --> 00:27:36,993 I've written papers on "little did he know." 416 00:27:37,563 --> 00:27:40,657 I used to teach a class based on "little did he know." 417 00:27:42,067 --> 00:27:45,730 I mean, I once gave an entire seminar on "little did he know." 418 00:27:45,938 --> 00:27:47,769 Son of a bitch, Harold. 419 00:27:48,807 --> 00:27:51,640 "Little did he know" means there's something he doesn't know... 420 00:27:51,844 --> 00:27:55,177 ...that means there's something you don't know. Did you know that? 421 00:27:56,582 --> 00:27:59,016 - I want you to come back Friday. - Okay. 422 00:27:59,218 --> 00:28:01,448 No, "imminent," you could be dead by Friday. 423 00:28:01,653 --> 00:28:05,680 Come back tomorrow at 9:45. 424 00:28:05,891 --> 00:28:08,189 Ten seconds ago you said you wouldn't help me. 425 00:28:09,995 --> 00:28:12,623 It's been a very revealing 10 seconds, Harold. 426 00:28:16,702 --> 00:28:19,068 Harold was deep in thought. 427 00:28:19,271 --> 00:28:23,731 For a few, brief moments, from Born Boulevard to Euclid Avenue... 428 00:28:23,942 --> 00:28:26,410 ...all the calculations and all the rules... 429 00:28:26,612 --> 00:28:30,912 ...and all the precision of Harold's life just faded away. 430 00:28:32,151 --> 00:28:35,917 How perfect then that in this space... 431 00:28:36,121 --> 00:28:39,022 ...Ana Pascal would appear. 432 00:28:40,325 --> 00:28:41,485 Ms. Pascal. 433 00:28:43,796 --> 00:28:45,991 Ms. Pascal, it's Harold Crick from the IRS. 434 00:28:46,198 --> 00:28:47,665 Excuse me. 435 00:28:50,903 --> 00:28:53,633 - Hi. - Hi. 436 00:28:53,839 --> 00:28:56,603 - Would you like a seat? - Nope. 437 00:28:56,809 --> 00:28:58,834 There's 11 open ones. 438 00:28:59,044 --> 00:29:00,773 I don't care. 439 00:29:04,650 --> 00:29:05,742 Sorry about that. 440 00:29:17,529 --> 00:29:18,962 How are you? 441 00:29:19,565 --> 00:29:21,795 I'm lousy. I'm being audited. 442 00:29:23,202 --> 00:29:24,396 Of course. 443 00:29:24,837 --> 00:29:26,634 By a real creep too. 444 00:29:32,811 --> 00:29:35,405 I think I owe you an apology. 445 00:29:36,381 --> 00:29:38,872 - Really? - IRS agents... 446 00:29:39,084 --> 00:29:42,485 ...we're given rigorous aptitude tests before we can work. 447 00:29:43,222 --> 00:29:47,556 Unfortunately for you, we aren't tested on tact or good manners... 448 00:29:47,893 --> 00:29:49,986 ...so I apologize. 449 00:29:50,896 --> 00:29:53,990 I ogled you. 450 00:29:55,801 --> 00:29:57,166 Sorry. 451 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,034 Okay, apology accepted. 452 00:30:05,077 --> 00:30:07,807 But only because you stammered. 453 00:30:14,586 --> 00:30:17,953 So you're a frequenter of the metropolitan transit authority too? 454 00:30:18,924 --> 00:30:21,256 No. I'm just late. 455 00:30:22,261 --> 00:30:24,491 Big flag-burning to get to? 456 00:30:25,664 --> 00:30:27,188 Actually... 457 00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:32,793 ...it's my weekly evil-conspiracy and needlepoint group. 458 00:30:34,139 --> 00:30:35,766 You wanna come? 459 00:30:37,042 --> 00:30:40,443 I left my thimbles and socialist reading material at home. 460 00:30:42,281 --> 00:30:43,680 So... 461 00:30:47,152 --> 00:30:50,280 Harold nervously made small talk. 462 00:30:51,390 --> 00:30:53,756 You have very straight teeth. 463 00:30:53,959 --> 00:30:55,620 Very small talk. 464 00:30:56,895 --> 00:30:59,864 Thanks. They're real. 465 00:31:00,065 --> 00:31:03,398 Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself... 466 00:31:03,602 --> 00:31:07,436 ...in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat. 467 00:31:08,907 --> 00:31:11,034 This is my stop. I should go. 468 00:31:13,178 --> 00:31:15,578 - He was elated and surprised... - See you soon. 469 00:31:15,781 --> 00:31:19,774 ...by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Ms. Pascal. 470 00:31:20,285 --> 00:31:23,254 So elated that he exited the Transit Authority bus... 471 00:31:23,455 --> 00:31:27,858 ...a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk. 472 00:31:46,778 --> 00:31:49,212 - "You ain't down yet." - That's right. 473 00:31:49,414 --> 00:31:53,942 Tell us, what is You Ain't Got Nothin' On Me about, Emmett Cole? 474 00:31:54,152 --> 00:31:55,710 What does this mean? 475 00:31:55,921 --> 00:32:00,756 Well, it's about being around in the world, doing different things... 476 00:32:00,959 --> 00:32:03,257 - ...doing what you wanna do... - Come in. 477 00:32:06,398 --> 00:32:10,391 Mr. Crick. Come in, come in. Please. 478 00:32:12,571 --> 00:32:13,595 How are you? 479 00:32:14,306 --> 00:32:15,534 I'm fine, actually. 480 00:32:15,741 --> 00:32:17,572 You can turn that off. 481 00:32:18,110 --> 00:32:20,601 Looks like our narrator hasn't killed you quite yet. 482 00:32:20,812 --> 00:32:24,077 - No, not yet. - Good, great. Have a seat. 483 00:32:24,816 --> 00:32:26,807 - Count the stairs outside? - No. 484 00:32:27,019 --> 00:32:29,988 Course not. I've devised a test-- 485 00:32:30,188 --> 00:32:32,656 How exciting is that? --of 23 questions... 486 00:32:32,858 --> 00:32:36,419 ...which I think might help uncover more truths about this narrator. 487 00:32:36,628 --> 00:32:38,459 - Now, Howard... - Harold. 488 00:32:38,663 --> 00:32:42,497 Harold. These may seem silly, but your candor is paramount. 489 00:32:42,701 --> 00:32:44,191 Okay. 490 00:32:44,669 --> 00:32:46,068 So. 491 00:32:48,273 --> 00:32:52,175 We know it's a woman's voice, the story involves your death... 492 00:32:53,845 --> 00:32:55,403 ...it's modern, it's in English. 493 00:32:55,614 --> 00:32:58,412 I'm assuming the author has a cursory knowledge of the city. 494 00:32:58,617 --> 00:33:01,552 - Sure. - Okay, good. 495 00:33:04,256 --> 00:33:05,985 Question one: 496 00:33:06,191 --> 00:33:08,682 "Has anyone recently left any gifts outside your home?" 497 00:33:08,894 --> 00:33:10,452 Anything? Gum? Money? 498 00:33:10,662 --> 00:33:12,789 - A large wooden horse? - I'm sorry? 499 00:33:12,998 --> 00:33:14,989 - Just answer the question. - No. 500 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,828 "Do you find yourself inclined to solve murder mysteries... 501 00:33:18,036 --> 00:33:21,437 ...in large, luxurious homes to which--?" Let me finish. 502 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,131 "To which you may or may not have been invited?" 503 00:33:24,342 --> 00:33:25,536 No. No, no, no. 504 00:33:25,744 --> 00:33:28,770 All right. On a scale of one to 10... 505 00:33:28,980 --> 00:33:32,507 ...what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated? 506 00:33:33,085 --> 00:33:34,052 Assassinated? 507 00:33:34,252 --> 00:33:37,517 One being very unlikely, 10 being expecting it around every corner. 508 00:33:38,390 --> 00:33:41,120 - I have no idea-- - Okay. Let me rephrase. 509 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,951 Are you the king of anything? 510 00:33:45,030 --> 00:33:46,054 - Like what? - Anything. 511 00:33:46,264 --> 00:33:48,562 King of the lanes at the local bowling alley. 512 00:33:48,767 --> 00:33:50,166 "King of the lanes"? 513 00:33:50,368 --> 00:33:54,236 - King of the lanes. King of the trolls. - "King of the trolls"? 514 00:33:54,439 --> 00:33:58,739 Yes. A clandestine land found underneath your floorboards. 515 00:33:58,944 --> 00:34:00,241 - Anything. - No. 516 00:34:00,445 --> 00:34:02,504 No. That's ridiculous. 517 00:34:02,714 --> 00:34:05,808 Agreed. But let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. 518 00:34:06,451 --> 00:34:09,386 Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else? 519 00:34:09,588 --> 00:34:11,749 Like do I have someone else's arms? 520 00:34:11,957 --> 00:34:14,983 Well, is it possible at one time that you were made of stone... 521 00:34:15,193 --> 00:34:17,093 ...wood, lye, varied corpse parts... 522 00:34:17,295 --> 00:34:19,661 ...or earth made holy by rabbinical elders? 523 00:34:19,865 --> 00:34:23,562 No. Look... I'm sorry. What do these questions have to do with anything? 524 00:34:23,768 --> 00:34:25,895 The only way to find out what story you're in... 525 00:34:26,104 --> 00:34:28,095 ...is to determine what stories you're not in. 526 00:34:28,306 --> 00:34:31,571 Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature... 527 00:34:31,776 --> 00:34:33,869 ...seven fairy tales, 10 Chinese fables... 528 00:34:34,079 --> 00:34:37,014 ...and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet... 529 00:34:37,215 --> 00:34:39,206 ...Scout Finch, Miss Marple... 530 00:34:39,417 --> 00:34:43,080 ...Frankenstein's monster, or a golem. 531 00:34:48,226 --> 00:34:50,251 Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem? 532 00:34:51,296 --> 00:34:54,629 Yes, I am relieved to know that I am not a golem. 533 00:34:54,833 --> 00:34:55,800 Good. 534 00:35:00,739 --> 00:35:02,434 Do you have magical powers? 535 00:35:38,076 --> 00:35:40,271 May I ask what we're doing out here? 536 00:35:40,478 --> 00:35:44,005 - We're imagining car wrecks. - I see. 537 00:35:45,350 --> 00:35:47,614 And we can't imagine car wrecks inside? 538 00:35:47,819 --> 00:35:49,343 No. 539 00:35:50,188 --> 00:35:52,418 Did you know that 41 percent of accidents... 540 00:35:52,624 --> 00:35:55,115 ...occur in times of inclement weather? 541 00:35:55,327 --> 00:35:57,591 So do 90 percent of pneumonia cases. 542 00:35:57,796 --> 00:36:02,699 Really? Pneumonia. That's an interesting way to die. 543 00:36:03,635 --> 00:36:06,263 But how would Harold catch pneumonia? 544 00:36:06,471 --> 00:36:08,462 Have you written anything new today? 545 00:36:08,673 --> 00:36:09,935 No. 546 00:36:10,141 --> 00:36:12,939 Did you read the poems I suggested, or make a list of words... 547 00:36:13,144 --> 00:36:15,112 ...buy new typing paper, anything? 548 00:36:15,313 --> 00:36:16,871 No, none of it. 549 00:36:18,250 --> 00:36:20,013 Sitting in the rain won't write books. 550 00:36:20,218 --> 00:36:24,484 Well, that illustrates exactly how much you know about writing books. 551 00:36:31,630 --> 00:36:32,790 What's this? 552 00:36:33,398 --> 00:36:35,730 It's literature on the nicotine patch. 553 00:36:37,102 --> 00:36:40,299 I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny. I smoke cigarettes. 554 00:36:41,339 --> 00:36:42,601 Well, it may help. 555 00:36:42,807 --> 00:36:45,935 May help? Help what? 556 00:36:46,411 --> 00:36:49,312 Help what, Penny? Help write a novel? 557 00:36:49,514 --> 00:36:51,744 May help save your life. 558 00:36:52,083 --> 00:36:54,517 I'm not in the business of saving lives. 559 00:36:57,289 --> 00:36:59,314 In fact, just the opposite. 560 00:37:02,394 --> 00:37:04,487 - "What's your favorite word?" - Integer. 561 00:37:04,696 --> 00:37:06,220 Good, good, good. 562 00:37:06,431 --> 00:37:08,558 "Do you aspire to anything?" 563 00:37:09,901 --> 00:37:12,461 - No. - Conquer Russia? 564 00:37:12,671 --> 00:37:15,231 - Win a whistling contest? - No. 565 00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,308 Harold, you must have some ambition. 566 00:37:20,111 --> 00:37:23,706 - I don't think so. - Some underlying dream. Think. 567 00:37:25,984 --> 00:37:27,474 Well... 568 00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:31,248 ...I've always wanted my life to be more musical. 569 00:37:32,023 --> 00:37:35,424 - Like West Side Story? - No. 570 00:37:35,860 --> 00:37:37,725 - Like... - What? 571 00:37:37,929 --> 00:37:41,365 Well, I've always wanted to learn to play the guitar. 572 00:37:43,835 --> 00:37:45,462 Okay. 573 00:37:47,305 --> 00:37:49,273 The last thing to determine conclusively... 574 00:37:49,474 --> 00:37:51,965 ...is whether you're in a comedy or a tragedy. 575 00:37:52,177 --> 00:37:53,508 To quote Italo Calvino: 576 00:37:53,712 --> 00:37:56,977 "The ultimate meaning to which all stories refer has two faces: 577 00:37:57,182 --> 00:38:00,049 The continuity of life, the inevitability of death." 578 00:38:01,019 --> 00:38:04,386 Tragedy, you die. Comedy, you get hitched. 579 00:38:08,193 --> 00:38:10,161 Most comic heroes fall in love with people... 580 00:38:10,362 --> 00:38:12,159 ...introduced after the story has begun. 581 00:38:12,364 --> 00:38:14,992 Usually people who hate the hero initially. 582 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:19,000 Although I can't imagine anyone hating you, Harold. 583 00:38:19,204 --> 00:38:23,004 Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. 584 00:38:23,375 --> 00:38:24,569 Everyone hates me. 585 00:38:26,010 --> 00:38:27,204 Right, right. Good. 586 00:38:27,412 --> 00:38:30,677 Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you? 587 00:38:31,783 --> 00:38:35,116 I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent. 588 00:38:36,121 --> 00:38:37,782 Well, that sounds like a comedy. 589 00:38:39,491 --> 00:38:41,322 Try to develop that. 590 00:38:43,128 --> 00:38:44,152 Four of these? 591 00:38:44,362 --> 00:38:46,296 You know, I didn't get my honey, honey. 592 00:38:46,498 --> 00:38:50,025 Lulu, can you refill the honey for Larry? Quarters also? 593 00:38:50,235 --> 00:38:51,827 That's my good boy. 594 00:38:52,036 --> 00:38:53,970 I'm adding some acorns. 595 00:38:54,439 --> 00:38:55,838 Mr. Crick. 596 00:38:56,975 --> 00:39:00,411 You're here early. Must have a lot of people to extort. 597 00:39:00,612 --> 00:39:02,477 No. No, just you. 598 00:39:03,848 --> 00:39:06,646 - Twig tea and banana bread. - Yes, ma'am. 599 00:39:06,851 --> 00:39:10,309 Actually, it should only take the day to make sure 22 percent is all you owe. 600 00:39:10,522 --> 00:39:14,253 Well, I won't be paying no matter the percentage, Mr. Crick. 601 00:39:14,459 --> 00:39:18,327 No, I know. But the percent determines how big your cell is. 602 00:39:25,003 --> 00:39:26,630 You know, you can call me Harold. 603 00:39:26,838 --> 00:39:30,001 Yeah, I know. But I don't want to. 604 00:39:32,210 --> 00:39:33,404 This is for Ramona, honey. 605 00:39:33,611 --> 00:39:36,307 - Oh, thank you. - You're very welcome. 606 00:39:36,948 --> 00:39:38,916 What is that? What are you marking? 607 00:39:40,785 --> 00:39:42,309 Oh, this is nothing. 608 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,648 Why don't we start with your backup documents... 609 00:39:45,857 --> 00:39:48,325 ...and the receipts for the past three years. 610 00:39:48,526 --> 00:39:50,016 Sure. 611 00:39:58,703 --> 00:39:59,897 What's this? 612 00:40:01,306 --> 00:40:03,399 - My files. - What? 613 00:40:03,608 --> 00:40:05,098 My tax files. 614 00:40:06,010 --> 00:40:07,500 You keep your files like this? 615 00:40:07,712 --> 00:40:10,510 No, actually I'm quite fastidious. 616 00:40:10,715 --> 00:40:14,242 I put them in this box just to screw with you. 617 00:40:27,799 --> 00:40:31,132 - Hi. - Hi. How are you? 618 00:40:32,270 --> 00:40:34,932 So how was it? Aruba. 619 00:40:35,139 --> 00:40:38,438 Ms. Pascal? Can I just ask you a question about this receipt? 620 00:40:38,643 --> 00:40:41,510 - It was fantastic. - Just wondering if this nine is a seven. 621 00:40:41,713 --> 00:40:44,944 - And what did you do? - I got a beautiful tan. 622 00:40:45,583 --> 00:40:49,110 - I'm just gonna guess it's a seven. - I mean, I feel stress-free. 623 00:40:54,392 --> 00:40:56,087 Do you need help with that? 624 00:40:57,295 --> 00:40:59,320 --walk to heaven. I see the president. 625 00:40:59,531 --> 00:41:01,692 - It's the taxman. Hello, Mr. Taxman. - Yeah. 626 00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:03,367 - You can call me Harold. - Okay. 627 00:41:03,568 --> 00:41:05,195 - How the numbers going? - Pretty good. 628 00:41:05,403 --> 00:41:07,166 - Gonna find that 22 percent? - 22 percent? 629 00:41:07,372 --> 00:41:09,863 Twenty-two, 11 times 2. It's prime numbers. 630 00:41:10,074 --> 00:41:13,066 - You gonna tax the bathroom? - No, I'm not gonna tax the bathroom. 631 00:41:13,278 --> 00:41:15,542 - Could I use the bathroom, then? - Go for it. 632 00:41:15,747 --> 00:41:17,442 Okay. I wanna use the bathroom. Bye now. 633 00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:18,775 Bye-bye. 634 00:42:00,725 --> 00:42:02,090 Well, good night. 635 00:42:03,227 --> 00:42:04,888 You want a cookie? 636 00:42:05,530 --> 00:42:06,656 Oh, no. 637 00:42:06,864 --> 00:42:10,960 Come on. They're warm and gooey. They're fresh out of the oven. 638 00:42:11,703 --> 00:42:13,500 No, I don't like cookies. 639 00:42:15,540 --> 00:42:17,167 You don't like cookies? 640 00:42:20,278 --> 00:42:23,372 - What's wrong with you? - I don't know. 641 00:42:23,581 --> 00:42:26,516 - Everybody likes cookies. - No, I know. 642 00:42:26,718 --> 00:42:30,620 I mean, after a really awful, no-good day... 643 00:42:30,822 --> 00:42:33,723 ...didn't your mama ever make you milk and cookies? 644 00:42:34,892 --> 00:42:38,384 No. My mother didn't bake. 645 00:42:38,596 --> 00:42:41,724 The only cookies I ever had were store-bought. 646 00:42:44,268 --> 00:42:47,101 Okay. Sit down. 647 00:42:47,739 --> 00:42:49,866 - No, I'm-- - No. 648 00:42:50,341 --> 00:42:52,138 Sit down. 649 00:42:56,014 --> 00:42:57,208 Now... 650 00:42:58,216 --> 00:43:00,241 ...eat a cookie. 651 00:43:00,451 --> 00:43:01,816 I really can't. 652 00:43:02,020 --> 00:43:05,353 Mr. Crick, it was a really awful day. 653 00:43:06,257 --> 00:43:09,090 I know, I made sure of it. 654 00:43:09,594 --> 00:43:11,289 So pick up the cookie... 655 00:43:11,496 --> 00:43:13,623 ...dip it in the milk... 656 00:43:13,831 --> 00:43:15,628 ...and eat it. 657 00:43:40,191 --> 00:43:42,523 That's a really, really good cookie. 658 00:43:50,835 --> 00:43:52,632 So when did you decide to become a baker? 659 00:43:53,905 --> 00:43:56,806 - In college. - Oh, like a cooking college? 660 00:43:57,942 --> 00:44:01,070 I went to Harvard Law actually. 661 00:44:01,646 --> 00:44:06,777 - Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed it was-- - No. No, it's fine. I didn't finish. 662 00:44:07,552 --> 00:44:09,520 - Did something happen? - No. 663 00:44:10,922 --> 00:44:14,915 I was barely accepted. I mean, really barely. 664 00:44:15,126 --> 00:44:18,254 The only reason they let me come was because of my essay. 665 00:44:18,463 --> 00:44:22,456 How I was gonna make the world a better place with my degree. 666 00:44:23,234 --> 00:44:27,967 Anyway, we would have to participate in these study sessions... 667 00:44:28,172 --> 00:44:31,164 ...my classmates and I, sometimes all night long. 668 00:44:31,375 --> 00:44:35,106 And so I'd bake so no one would go hungry while we worked. 669 00:44:35,313 --> 00:44:38,282 Sometimes I would bake all afternoon in the kitchen in the dorm... 670 00:44:38,483 --> 00:44:42,510 ...and then I'd bring my little treats to the study groups... 671 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:44,347 ...and people loved them. 672 00:44:44,555 --> 00:44:45,817 Eat. 673 00:44:46,023 --> 00:44:50,289 I made oatmeal cookies, peanut-butter bars... 674 00:44:50,762 --> 00:44:54,198 ...dark-chocolate macadamia-nut wedges. 675 00:44:54,398 --> 00:44:56,730 And everyone would eat and stay happy... 676 00:44:56,934 --> 00:44:59,095 ...and study harder and do better on the tests. 677 00:44:59,303 --> 00:45:01,999 More and more people started coming to the study groups... 678 00:45:02,206 --> 00:45:04,037 ...and I'd bring more snacks. 679 00:45:04,242 --> 00:45:06,767 I was always looking for better and better recipes... 680 00:45:06,978 --> 00:45:12,507 ...until soon it was ricotta cheese and apricot croissants... 681 00:45:13,384 --> 00:45:15,909 ...and mocha bars with an almond glaze... 682 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:20,750 ...and lemon chiffon cake with zesty peach icing. 683 00:45:21,859 --> 00:45:25,886 And at the end of the semester I had 27 study partners... 684 00:45:26,097 --> 00:45:29,533 ...eight Mead journals filled with recipes... 685 00:45:29,734 --> 00:45:31,258 ...and a D average. 686 00:45:32,203 --> 00:45:34,000 So I dropped out. 687 00:45:34,605 --> 00:45:37,130 I figured if I was gonna make the world a better place... 688 00:45:37,341 --> 00:45:39,502 ...I would do it with cookies. 689 00:45:44,348 --> 00:45:45,781 You like them? 690 00:45:47,285 --> 00:45:48,274 I do. 691 00:45:49,353 --> 00:45:51,150 I'm glad. 692 00:45:52,223 --> 00:45:54,282 Thank you for forcing me to eat them. 693 00:45:55,059 --> 00:45:56,822 You're welcome. 694 00:46:02,099 --> 00:46:04,863 I should go. Oh, thank you. For the cookies, I mean. 695 00:46:05,069 --> 00:46:06,832 - Why don't you take them home? - Oh, no. 696 00:46:07,038 --> 00:46:09,199 - Oh, come on. - No, really, please. 697 00:46:09,407 --> 00:46:12,433 - No, really, please. - No, no, no. Really, please. 698 00:46:12,643 --> 00:46:14,702 I would like to, but I can't. 699 00:46:15,379 --> 00:46:16,903 - You can't? - No, no, I mean-- 700 00:46:17,114 --> 00:46:19,810 Because, see, it constitutes a gift. 701 00:46:20,151 --> 00:46:22,711 Actually I shouldn't have even had those other ones, so... 702 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,115 Okay. Well, I'm not gonna tell anyone. 703 00:46:25,323 --> 00:46:27,951 - No. I know, but if you did... - Well, I'm not going to. 704 00:46:28,159 --> 00:46:29,251 I know, but if you did-- 705 00:46:29,460 --> 00:46:32,520 - What, you think I'm gonna call the--? - No, no. I'll purchase them. 706 00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:35,858 I'm happy to purchase them. How's that? 707 00:46:37,902 --> 00:46:40,302 And then there are no issues. 708 00:46:42,406 --> 00:46:44,636 - What? - No. 709 00:46:44,842 --> 00:46:46,901 - Please. - Just... 710 00:46:47,111 --> 00:46:48,942 - Why don't I just--? - Go home. 711 00:46:49,146 --> 00:46:50,443 Really, it's not a big deal. 712 00:46:50,648 --> 00:46:52,775 Go home. 713 00:46:54,452 --> 00:46:55,817 Okay. 714 00:47:00,424 --> 00:47:01,721 Did you...? 715 00:47:03,327 --> 00:47:06,319 You baked those cookies for me, didn't you? 716 00:47:09,967 --> 00:47:13,164 You were just trying to be nice and I totally blew it. 717 00:47:17,275 --> 00:47:20,506 This may sound like gibberish to you... 718 00:47:23,014 --> 00:47:25,505 ...but I think I'm in a tragedy. 719 00:47:56,113 --> 00:47:59,947 Professor Hilbert, I've totally failed at the comedy-tragedy thing. 720 00:48:00,151 --> 00:48:02,312 In fact, I think she likes me even less. 721 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,647 - I know, it's great. - What do you mean? 722 00:48:05,556 --> 00:48:07,820 You've proved something else entirely. 723 00:48:08,025 --> 00:48:11,688 The voice seems to be dependent on actions you take. 724 00:48:12,797 --> 00:48:15,265 You reset your watch, it says you reset your watch. 725 00:48:15,466 --> 00:48:17,263 You ride a bus, it says you ride the bus. 726 00:48:17,468 --> 00:48:19,834 You brush your teeth, it says you brush your teeth. 727 00:48:20,037 --> 00:48:24,064 It may be that you yourself are perpetuating the story. 728 00:48:24,275 --> 00:48:27,938 - So I suggest we try something else. - Like what? 729 00:48:28,145 --> 00:48:31,376 - Try nothing. Nothing. - What about Ms. Pascal? 730 00:48:31,582 --> 00:48:32,776 - Forget her. - Forget her? 731 00:48:32,984 --> 00:48:34,952 Other than numbers, she's all I think about. 732 00:48:35,152 --> 00:48:37,882 Harold, if you wanna stay alive, you'll try something else. 733 00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:41,422 - That something being nothing? - Nothing, exactly. 734 00:48:41,625 --> 00:48:44,321 - Nothing? - Let me explain this again. 735 00:48:44,528 --> 00:48:48,157 Some plots are moved forward by external events and crises. 736 00:48:48,366 --> 00:48:51,062 Others are moved forward by the characters themselves. 737 00:48:51,268 --> 00:48:53,463 If I go through that door, the plot continues. 738 00:48:53,671 --> 00:48:55,935 The story of me through the door. If I stay here... 739 00:48:56,140 --> 00:48:58,574 ...the plot can't move forward, the story ends. 740 00:48:58,776 --> 00:49:01,574 Also if I stay here, I'm late. 741 00:49:03,914 --> 00:49:06,314 - Don't do anything tomorrow. - Nothing? 742 00:49:06,517 --> 00:49:10,977 Stay home. Don't answer the phone, open the door, brush your teeth. 743 00:49:11,188 --> 00:49:12,587 - What about work? - Call them. 744 00:49:12,790 --> 00:49:15,020 - Tell them you're not coming. - Don't go to work? 745 00:49:15,226 --> 00:49:17,353 Don't do anything that may move the plot forward. 746 00:49:17,561 --> 00:49:19,586 Instead, let's see if the plot finds you. 747 00:49:20,231 --> 00:49:22,825 Marshall, you're not kicking. 748 00:49:26,203 --> 00:49:29,695 --certain that these geese have never known any home but this one: 749 00:49:29,907 --> 00:49:31,898 A small lake in Eastern Poland. 750 00:49:32,610 --> 00:49:35,704 Pollution from a nearby factory is slowly killing... 751 00:49:35,913 --> 00:49:39,405 ...the small fish and insects on which these creatures feed. 752 00:49:39,617 --> 00:49:44,850 All attempts to move the birds to similar bodies of water have failed. 753 00:49:45,056 --> 00:49:48,890 Perhaps it is the familiarity alone that keeps them here. 754 00:49:49,093 --> 00:49:53,086 Or perhaps it's an unwillingness to lose the collective memory... 755 00:49:53,297 --> 00:49:56,289 ...of the once-beautiful hills that surround the lake. 756 00:49:56,500 --> 00:50:00,163 And it takes only seconds for the fiddler crabs to realize... 757 00:50:00,371 --> 00:50:02,703 ...that the wader they might once have feared... 758 00:50:02,907 --> 00:50:05,398 ...has now become their prey. 759 00:50:06,744 --> 00:50:09,611 The wounded bird knows its fate. 760 00:50:10,581 --> 00:50:12,708 Its desperate attempts to escape... 761 00:50:12,917 --> 00:50:16,375 ...only underscore the hopelessness of its plight. 762 00:50:19,256 --> 00:50:23,852 The primates' sad, soulful eyes will be the first to be plucked out... 763 00:50:24,061 --> 00:50:26,859 ...then sold to cosmetic companies around the world... 764 00:50:27,064 --> 00:50:31,057 ...for use in the testing of mascara and artificial tears. 765 00:50:31,268 --> 00:50:35,136 Next, the monkeys' fur will be stripped away from their limp corpses... 766 00:50:35,339 --> 00:50:38,706 ...and sewn together to form pillows and comforters. 767 00:50:38,909 --> 00:50:41,400 Mr. Zebra thought he was gonna take a nice drink. 768 00:50:41,612 --> 00:50:43,239 But you never know who's gonna eat... 769 00:50:43,447 --> 00:50:45,711 ...when you're dining at Mother Nature's restaurant. 770 00:50:45,916 --> 00:50:48,612 That's gotta hurt. What does this bald eagle wanna serve... 771 00:50:48,819 --> 00:50:50,844 ...with some kidney beans and a fine Chianti? 772 00:50:51,055 --> 00:50:55,048 It's an eel. And again: 773 00:50:55,259 --> 00:50:57,523 Looks like old Mr. Crocodile wanted some antelope... 774 00:50:57,728 --> 00:50:59,753 ...to clear that salty zebra from his palate. 775 00:50:59,964 --> 00:51:03,331 Here's a struggle betting gentlemen have been known to put money on. 776 00:51:03,534 --> 00:51:07,265 When a mongoose encounters a cobra it's hard to know who's gonna win. 777 00:51:07,471 --> 00:51:09,632 But this time it looks like it's... the cobra... 778 00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:11,933 ...who's putting the squeeze on the mongoose! 779 00:51:12,143 --> 00:51:14,373 But don't cash in your chips just yet, gentlemen... 780 00:51:14,578 --> 00:51:17,672 ...because now it's the mongoose who holds the winning card! 781 00:51:44,575 --> 00:51:46,805 Hey! Hey! 782 00:51:47,578 --> 00:51:49,478 Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?! 783 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,648 - Holy crapping hell. - What the hell is that? 784 00:51:51,849 --> 00:51:54,044 - Stop the crane. Stop it. - Stop the crane! 785 00:51:54,251 --> 00:51:56,219 - Hey. - Hey, what are you doing? 786 00:51:56,420 --> 00:51:58,081 Us? What are you doing? 787 00:51:58,289 --> 00:51:59,950 I was watching TV. 788 00:52:00,157 --> 00:52:03,615 - Well, we're demolishing this place. - Are you nuts? I live here! 789 00:52:03,827 --> 00:52:06,557 - Is that a TV? - Yes, that's a TV! It's my TV! 790 00:52:06,764 --> 00:52:09,699 - Well, what's your TV doing in there? - I said I live here, stupid! 791 00:52:09,900 --> 00:52:11,663 It's where I keep my stuff! 792 00:52:11,869 --> 00:52:15,168 My name's on the goddamn buzzer! Harold Crick. 793 00:52:15,372 --> 00:52:18,341 Apartment 2-B, 1893 McCarthy! 794 00:52:19,310 --> 00:52:21,778 - Did you say 1893? - Yes! 795 00:52:28,385 --> 00:52:30,353 I'm not exactly sure it was plot. 796 00:52:30,554 --> 00:52:33,580 I was hoping you'd say it was just a really bad coincidence. 797 00:52:33,791 --> 00:52:37,227 Meeting an insurance agent the day your policy runs out is coincidence. 798 00:52:37,428 --> 00:52:41,125 Getting a letter from the emperor saying that he's visiting is plot. 799 00:52:41,332 --> 00:52:44,495 Having your apartment eaten by a wrecking ball... 800 00:52:44,702 --> 00:52:46,329 ...is something else entirely. 801 00:52:47,972 --> 00:52:51,430 Harold, you don't control your fate. 802 00:52:52,176 --> 00:52:54,610 - I know. - You do? 803 00:52:56,180 --> 00:52:57,909 Okay. Come with me. 804 00:52:58,115 --> 00:53:01,016 Hey, Tom, can you leave that till tomorrow? 805 00:53:01,585 --> 00:53:04,713 You were right. This narrator might very well kill you... 806 00:53:04,922 --> 00:53:09,018 ...so I humbly suggest that you just forget all this and go live your life. 807 00:53:09,827 --> 00:53:13,991 Go live my life? I am living my life. I'd like to continue to live my life. 808 00:53:14,832 --> 00:53:19,166 I know. Of course. I mean all of it. However long you have left. 809 00:53:19,370 --> 00:53:22,806 You know, I mean, Howard, you could use it to have an adventure. 810 00:53:23,007 --> 00:53:27,535 You know, invent something, or just finish reading Crime and Punishment. 811 00:53:27,745 --> 00:53:31,408 Hell, Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted. 812 00:53:32,049 --> 00:53:34,040 What's wrong with you? 813 00:53:34,251 --> 00:53:37,379 Hey. I don't wanna eat nothing but pancakes. I wanna live. 814 00:53:37,588 --> 00:53:40,580 Who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living... 815 00:53:40,791 --> 00:53:41,758 ...chooses pancakes? 816 00:53:41,959 --> 00:53:44,860 Harold, if you'd pause to think I believe you'd realize... 817 00:53:45,062 --> 00:53:47,257 ...that that answer's inextricably contingent... 818 00:53:47,464 --> 00:53:49,659 ...upon the type of life being led... 819 00:53:51,135 --> 00:53:54,229 ...and, of course, the quality of the pancakes. 820 00:53:56,106 --> 00:53:58,199 You don't understand what I'm saying. 821 00:53:59,310 --> 00:54:00,334 Yes, I do. 822 00:54:01,578 --> 00:54:05,241 But you have to understand that this isn't a philosophy or a literary theory... 823 00:54:05,449 --> 00:54:07,246 ...or a story to me. It's my life. 824 00:54:07,451 --> 00:54:12,150 Absolutely. So just go make it the one you've always wanted. 825 00:54:19,763 --> 00:54:21,594 I never expected that they would have-- 826 00:54:21,799 --> 00:54:23,630 - Do you want one, two? - I want one. 827 00:54:23,834 --> 00:54:26,132 - One? - I want two. 828 00:54:37,147 --> 00:54:38,876 All right, so here's your room. 829 00:54:39,083 --> 00:54:41,677 Or as I like to call it, Sleep Pod Two. 830 00:54:42,286 --> 00:54:43,583 Thanks, Dave. 831 00:54:43,787 --> 00:54:47,279 No problem, dude. It'll be nice having you around. 832 00:54:48,325 --> 00:54:51,453 - How long you planning on staying? - I'm not sure. 833 00:54:57,401 --> 00:55:01,895 Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question? 834 00:55:02,373 --> 00:55:03,840 Sure. 835 00:55:04,541 --> 00:55:06,702 If you knew you were gonna die... 836 00:55:08,045 --> 00:55:09,876 ...possibly soon... 837 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,214 ...what would you do? 838 00:55:14,051 --> 00:55:15,848 Wow, I don't know. 839 00:55:16,687 --> 00:55:18,655 Am I the richest man in the world? 840 00:55:18,856 --> 00:55:21,051 No, you're you. 841 00:55:22,693 --> 00:55:23,990 Do I have a superpower? 842 00:55:25,129 --> 00:55:26,426 No, you're you. 843 00:55:26,630 --> 00:55:30,430 I know I'm me, but do I have a superpower? 844 00:55:31,235 --> 00:55:32,964 No, why would you have a superpower? 845 00:55:33,170 --> 00:55:35,536 I don't know, you said it was hypothetical. 846 00:55:35,906 --> 00:55:38,966 Fine. Yes. You're really good at math. 847 00:55:39,376 --> 00:55:41,344 That's not a power, that's a skill. 848 00:55:41,979 --> 00:55:44,379 Okay, you're good at math and you're invisible. 849 00:55:44,581 --> 00:55:46,845 - And you know you're gonna die. - Okay, okay. 850 00:55:48,152 --> 00:55:50,120 That's easy, I'd go to space camp. 851 00:55:51,088 --> 00:55:52,680 Space camp? 852 00:55:52,890 --> 00:55:57,827 Yeah, it's in Alabama. It's where kids go to learn how to become astronauts. 853 00:55:58,595 --> 00:56:00,790 I've always wanted to go since I was 9. 854 00:56:01,732 --> 00:56:04,496 You're invisible and you'd go to space camp? 855 00:56:04,701 --> 00:56:07,226 I didn't pick invisible, you picked invisible. 856 00:56:08,071 --> 00:56:09,800 Aren't you too old to go to space camp? 857 00:56:11,308 --> 00:56:13,799 You're never too old to go to space camp, dude. 858 00:56:45,409 --> 00:56:46,376 Space camp. 859 00:56:47,744 --> 00:56:50,304 One hundred and twenty-two guitars. 860 00:56:50,514 --> 00:56:52,982 Seven hundred and thirty-two strings. 861 00:56:53,183 --> 00:56:55,310 Two hundred and fifty-seven pickups. 862 00:56:55,519 --> 00:56:59,011 One hundred and eighty-nine volume knobs. 863 00:56:59,790 --> 00:57:05,092 Here Harold stood, face to face with his oldest desire. 864 00:57:05,629 --> 00:57:08,621 And stand is almost all Harold did. 865 00:57:09,099 --> 00:57:12,125 It wasn't just about finding a guitar. 866 00:57:12,336 --> 00:57:17,535 It was about finding a guitar that said something about Harold. 867 00:57:17,741 --> 00:57:19,641 Unfortunately, this guitar said: 868 00:57:19,843 --> 00:57:24,212 "When I get back to Georgia, that woman gonna feel my pain." 869 00:57:25,716 --> 00:57:27,843 This one said something along the lines of: 870 00:57:28,051 --> 00:57:31,020 "Why, yes, these pants are Lycra." 871 00:57:31,655 --> 00:57:34,317 These said, "I'm very sensitive, very caring... 872 00:57:34,525 --> 00:57:37,255 ...and I have absolutely no idea how to play the guitar." 873 00:57:42,232 --> 00:57:46,032 "I'm compensating for something. Guess what." 874 00:57:50,841 --> 00:57:52,809 And then Harold saw it. 875 00:57:53,710 --> 00:57:57,009 A damaged and terribly mistreated sea-foam-green Fender... 876 00:57:57,214 --> 00:57:58,841 ...staring back at him. 877 00:57:59,049 --> 00:58:00,778 Despite its obvious maladies... 878 00:58:00,984 --> 00:58:04,249 ...the guitar spoke with conviction and swagger. 879 00:58:04,454 --> 00:58:09,084 In fact, it looked Harold directly in the eye and very plainly stated: 880 00:58:09,293 --> 00:58:11,989 "I rock." 881 00:58:12,863 --> 00:58:14,160 Just breathe. Watch it! 882 00:58:14,364 --> 00:58:18,266 We've got a 21 -year-old male with a gunshot wound to the chest. 883 00:58:19,102 --> 00:58:20,364 There you go. 884 00:58:20,737 --> 00:58:25,174 Shot in a gang fight? Harold's not in a gang. 885 00:58:25,709 --> 00:58:27,643 Man in tweed? 886 00:58:29,846 --> 00:58:32,974 There's nothing wrong with him, he just likes looking at sick people. 887 00:58:33,183 --> 00:58:35,378 Oddly spoken with disdain. 888 00:58:35,652 --> 00:58:37,085 This isn't working. 889 00:58:37,287 --> 00:58:39,721 Well-- I don't even know why we're here. 890 00:58:39,923 --> 00:58:41,618 I don't think we're supposed to be here. 891 00:58:41,825 --> 00:58:45,056 - You said I needed visual stimuli. - I meant a museum. 892 00:58:45,262 --> 00:58:47,423 I don't need a goddamn museum. I need the infirm. 893 00:58:47,631 --> 00:58:49,622 You are the infirm. 894 00:58:50,133 --> 00:58:52,658 You're right. The problem is these people aren't dead... 895 00:58:52,869 --> 00:58:54,837 ...they're just severely injured. 896 00:58:55,505 --> 00:58:58,474 Excuse me, where are the dying people? 897 00:58:59,876 --> 00:59:02,709 Most of these people are sick or injured-- 898 00:59:02,913 --> 00:59:04,813 Which is great, don't get me wrong. 899 00:59:05,015 --> 00:59:07,677 --but they're gonna get better, which doesn't really help me. 900 00:59:07,884 --> 00:59:11,217 Is there any way to see the people who aren't going to get better? 901 00:59:11,421 --> 00:59:12,388 Excuse me? 902 00:59:12,589 --> 00:59:15,786 I'd like to see, if at all possible, the ones who aren't gonna make it. 903 00:59:15,993 --> 00:59:17,620 You know, the dead-for-sure ones. 904 00:59:17,828 --> 00:59:20,524 I'm sorry, are you suffering from anything? 905 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,195 Just writer's block. 906 00:59:32,976 --> 00:59:35,035 With every awkward strum... 907 00:59:35,245 --> 00:59:38,703 ...Harold Crick became stronger in who he was... 908 00:59:38,915 --> 00:59:42,646 ...what he wanted, and why he was alive. 909 00:59:43,887 --> 00:59:46,754 Harold no longer ate alone. 910 00:59:46,990 --> 00:59:50,187 He no longer counted brushstrokes. 911 00:59:50,394 --> 00:59:52,794 - Harold, I'll see you. - He no longer wore neckties. 912 00:59:52,996 --> 00:59:53,963 Bye, Dave. 913 00:59:54,231 --> 00:59:59,225 And, therefore, no longer worried about the time it took to put them on. 914 01:00:01,405 --> 01:00:05,432 He no longer counted his steps to the bus stop. 915 01:00:07,911 --> 01:00:13,213 Instead, Harold did that which had terrified him before. 916 01:00:13,417 --> 01:00:16,580 That which had eluded him Monday through Friday... 917 01:00:16,787 --> 01:00:19,950 ...for so many years. 918 01:00:20,157 --> 01:00:22,489 That which the unrelenting lyrics... 919 01:00:22,693 --> 01:00:26,925 ...of numerous punk-rock songs told him to do: 920 01:00:27,364 --> 01:00:30,765 Harold Crick lived his life. 921 01:00:39,976 --> 01:00:42,774 But despite resuscitating his life... 922 01:00:42,979 --> 01:00:47,006 ...reviving his hope, and instilling a few wicked calluses... 923 01:00:47,217 --> 01:00:50,345 ...Harold's journey was still incomplete. 924 01:00:51,254 --> 01:00:57,193 And Harold's wristwatch wasn't about to let him miss another opportunity. 925 01:01:06,002 --> 01:01:07,697 Ms. Pascal? 926 01:01:07,904 --> 01:01:10,634 - Ms. Pascal? - Mr. Crick. 927 01:01:11,341 --> 01:01:13,832 - Hi. - Hi. 928 01:01:14,277 --> 01:01:16,837 - Hi. - Hi. 929 01:01:17,047 --> 01:01:19,015 I'm glad I caught you. 930 01:01:19,850 --> 01:01:21,147 Oh, yeah? Why? 931 01:01:22,452 --> 01:01:25,819 Because I wanted to bring these to you. 932 01:01:27,591 --> 01:01:29,786 - Really? - Yeah. 933 01:01:29,993 --> 01:01:34,362 So you can't accept gifts, but you can give them? 934 01:01:35,298 --> 01:01:36,390 - Listen-- - I don't know. 935 01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,034 That seems a little inconsistent, doesn't it, Mr. Crick? 936 01:01:39,236 --> 01:01:40,464 Very inconsistent, yes. 937 01:01:40,670 --> 01:01:43,002 I'll tell you what. I'll purchase them. 938 01:01:43,206 --> 01:01:44,673 - No. - No, no, no, really... 939 01:01:44,875 --> 01:01:47,241 ...I'd like to purchase them. What are they? 940 01:01:48,211 --> 01:01:49,610 Flours. 941 01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:53,716 - What? - I brought you flours. 942 01:02:04,594 --> 01:02:08,587 And you carried them all the way here? 943 01:02:10,233 --> 01:02:15,364 Ms. Pascal, I've been odd and I know that I've been odd. 944 01:02:16,406 --> 01:02:19,204 And I want you. 945 01:02:19,743 --> 01:02:22,211 - What? - There's so many reasons. 946 01:02:22,412 --> 01:02:25,575 There's so many influences in my life that are telling me... 947 01:02:25,782 --> 01:02:27,340 ...at times quite literally... 948 01:02:27,551 --> 01:02:30,349 ...that I should come here and bring you these... 949 01:02:31,421 --> 01:02:33,719 ...but I'm doing this because I want you. 950 01:02:34,825 --> 01:02:36,690 You want me? 951 01:02:37,194 --> 01:02:39,719 In no uncertain terms. 952 01:02:42,532 --> 01:02:47,765 Isn't there some very clear and established... 953 01:02:47,971 --> 01:02:51,600 ...rule about fraternization? 954 01:02:51,808 --> 01:02:54,003 - Auditor-auditee protocol? - Yeah. 955 01:02:54,211 --> 01:02:56,475 Yeah, but I don't care. 956 01:02:57,047 --> 01:03:00,210 - Why? - Because I want you. 957 01:03:05,755 --> 01:03:06,722 Well... 958 01:03:08,992 --> 01:03:11,893 ...do you mind carrying those a little bit further? 959 01:03:12,729 --> 01:03:14,060 Okay. 960 01:03:16,833 --> 01:03:18,232 Okay. 961 01:03:32,082 --> 01:03:33,879 Did you make a key? 962 01:03:34,084 --> 01:03:36,245 No, I just committed it to memory. 963 01:03:36,453 --> 01:03:40,514 - The blue, that's barley flour. - What's that one? 964 01:03:40,724 --> 01:03:42,089 - The orange? - Yeah. 965 01:03:42,292 --> 01:03:43,884 I forget. 966 01:03:44,494 --> 01:03:45,461 Right here. 967 01:03:49,099 --> 01:03:50,794 Do you wanna come up? 968 01:03:53,270 --> 01:03:55,795 - To your place? - Yeah. 969 01:03:57,407 --> 01:03:59,341 I guess I could. 970 01:03:59,542 --> 01:04:03,478 Wasn't that the idea with the flours and everything? 971 01:04:04,981 --> 01:04:09,145 Honestly, I only figured it out up to "I want you." 972 01:04:10,153 --> 01:04:12,144 Listen, Mr. Crick... 973 01:04:13,123 --> 01:04:14,613 ...I think I like you. 974 01:04:15,558 --> 01:04:20,894 And before I do anything rash, I'd like to make sure. 975 01:04:22,399 --> 01:04:24,458 I'd like you to come up. 976 01:04:26,002 --> 01:04:27,833 I'd be honored. 977 01:04:29,005 --> 01:04:30,404 Great. 978 01:04:33,743 --> 01:04:35,176 Yeah, he was nuts though. 979 01:04:35,378 --> 01:04:39,075 He got caught when he tried to get the contract notarized. 980 01:04:39,282 --> 01:04:42,046 No. No. 981 01:04:46,623 --> 01:04:47,920 Was it good? 982 01:04:48,525 --> 01:04:49,492 Thank you. 983 01:04:49,693 --> 01:04:52,161 - You're welcome. - Can I help you? 984 01:04:52,362 --> 01:04:55,559 No, no, I'm gonna put them in the sink. Go sit down on the couch. 985 01:05:05,308 --> 01:05:06,605 So do you play the guitar? 986 01:05:07,077 --> 01:05:09,568 - What? - Do you play the guitar? 987 01:05:10,246 --> 01:05:14,512 Terribly. Someone traded me that for a wedding cake. 988 01:05:14,718 --> 01:05:18,347 Does that mean I have to claim it on my taxes now? 989 01:05:18,555 --> 01:05:23,015 - No. I'll leave it out of my final report. - Oh, thanks. 990 01:05:23,994 --> 01:05:25,325 Do you play? 991 01:05:25,528 --> 01:05:27,018 Not really. I only know one song. 992 01:05:27,230 --> 01:05:28,629 Oh, play it. 993 01:05:28,832 --> 01:05:31,062 No, I don't know it that well, actually. 994 01:05:31,267 --> 01:05:34,134 No, come on. I promise I'm not gonna laugh at you. Play it. 995 01:05:34,337 --> 01:05:36,532 No, no, no. Maybe some other time. 996 01:05:36,740 --> 01:05:38,264 All right. 997 01:08:03,853 --> 01:08:05,115 Ms. Pascal? 998 01:08:05,622 --> 01:08:08,819 - I... - I know. 999 01:08:09,025 --> 01:08:10,993 I want you too. 1000 01:08:30,914 --> 01:08:36,546 Harold's life was filled with moments both significant and mundane. 1001 01:08:36,753 --> 01:08:42,020 But to Harold, those moments remained entirely indistinguishable... 1002 01:08:42,225 --> 01:08:43,920 ...except for this. 1003 01:08:44,594 --> 01:08:49,463 As Ana let out a soft sigh and repositioned herself against him... 1004 01:08:49,666 --> 01:08:51,793 ...Harold knew somewhere in his heart... 1005 01:08:52,001 --> 01:08:54,799 ...that this was one of the significant moments. 1006 01:08:55,004 --> 01:08:58,872 He knew she was falling in love with him. 1007 01:09:01,377 --> 01:09:03,242 Professor Hilbert. It's a comedy. 1008 01:09:03,446 --> 01:09:05,175 - What? - A comedy. 1009 01:09:05,848 --> 01:09:09,841 The woman. The one who hates me. Ana Pascal? 1010 01:09:10,053 --> 01:09:12,146 - Last night... - Yeah? 1011 01:09:12,355 --> 01:09:13,982 She's falling in love with me. 1012 01:09:14,190 --> 01:09:15,953 - She is? - It's like a miracle. 1013 01:09:16,159 --> 01:09:18,491 The voice confirmed it in the middle of the night. 1014 01:09:18,695 --> 01:09:20,094 Well, that's wonderful, Harold. 1015 01:09:20,296 --> 01:09:23,322 I mean, it completely nullifies my list, but that's fantastic. 1016 01:09:23,533 --> 01:09:24,625 What list? 1017 01:09:24,834 --> 01:09:27,029 These are seven living authors whose prior work... 1018 01:09:27,237 --> 01:09:29,933 ...would seem to make them candidates to write your story... 1019 01:09:30,139 --> 01:09:32,835 ...based on the criteria you and I previously determined. 1020 01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:37,240 If your narrator is alive, she's on this list. 1021 01:09:37,981 --> 01:09:40,882 But it appears the list is of little use to you now. 1022 01:09:41,084 --> 01:09:43,052 Now that you're gonna live happily ever after. 1023 01:09:43,253 --> 01:09:47,815 Oh, goodie. This woman, Karen Eiffel, she's one of my favorite authors. 1024 01:09:48,024 --> 01:09:49,355 - Hi. - Hi. 1025 01:09:49,559 --> 01:09:51,652 Beautiful tragedies. Just beautiful. Anyway... 1026 01:09:51,861 --> 01:09:56,389 ...let me quickly copy this list for you, just in case. 1027 01:09:58,101 --> 01:10:00,501 Sociopathic author. 1028 01:10:00,703 --> 01:10:03,365 - I just wanted to thank you. - Of course. 1029 01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:07,776 Listen, please, you must tell me if you hear the voice of the narrator again... 1030 01:10:07,977 --> 01:10:09,444 ...just for my own edification. 1031 01:10:09,646 --> 01:10:11,136 I will. 1032 01:10:13,783 --> 01:10:16,274 Well, it's called Death and Taxes. 1033 01:10:16,486 --> 01:10:19,216 Wow. You know, I'm from Texas. 1034 01:10:19,422 --> 01:10:22,983 No. Not "Texas." Taxes. 1035 01:10:23,192 --> 01:10:25,387 Death and Taxes. Death and Taxes. 1036 01:10:25,595 --> 01:10:27,529 Taxes. Like the Benjamin Franklin quote. 1037 01:10:27,730 --> 01:10:29,595 Precisely so. 1038 01:10:29,799 --> 01:10:31,733 This lady's a package, I'm telling you. 1039 01:10:31,934 --> 01:10:35,426 Tell us, what is this next book going to be about? 1040 01:10:35,638 --> 01:10:38,106 It's about interconnectivity. 1041 01:10:39,409 --> 01:10:42,071 The looming certainty of death. 1042 01:10:42,278 --> 01:10:43,905 Men's fashion accessories. 1043 01:10:44,113 --> 01:10:46,013 - Oh, my God, that's her. - What? 1044 01:10:46,215 --> 01:10:49,275 - That's the voice. She's the narrator. - No, that can't be right. 1045 01:10:49,485 --> 01:10:51,146 No, I'm positive. 1046 01:10:51,354 --> 01:10:53,754 Harold, this interview's a decade old. 1047 01:10:53,956 --> 01:10:56,618 I didn't think anyone actually wore cuff links anymore. 1048 01:10:56,826 --> 01:10:58,521 That's her. 1049 01:10:58,728 --> 01:11:01,458 - She's British? - She's her. 1050 01:11:01,664 --> 01:11:04,394 - Karen Eiffel? - Professor Hilbert, I know that voice. 1051 01:11:05,802 --> 01:11:06,769 Crap. 1052 01:11:07,570 --> 01:11:09,868 - What's wrong? - First of all, she wasn't on my list. 1053 01:11:10,073 --> 01:11:14,737 I figured you would have mentioned the accent and she doesn't... 1054 01:11:16,079 --> 01:11:17,046 She kills people. 1055 01:11:18,281 --> 01:11:20,715 - What? - In every book she-- 1056 01:11:20,917 --> 01:11:23,477 The books are all about-- They die. She kills them. 1057 01:11:23,686 --> 01:11:26,621 - Kills who? - The heroes. 1058 01:11:26,823 --> 01:11:29,223 Four Black Veils. What is that? 1059 01:11:29,425 --> 01:11:32,053 It's about a girl who loses several members of her family... 1060 01:11:32,261 --> 01:11:33,853 ...in quick succession. 1061 01:11:34,063 --> 01:11:35,291 Where is she? 1062 01:11:35,498 --> 01:11:40,526 She's untraceable. Believe me, I used to teach a class on her. 1063 01:11:40,737 --> 01:11:44,002 I've written her letters. I mean, she's a hermit, she's a recluse. 1064 01:11:44,207 --> 01:11:47,472 Here. Here's the last book she wrote. 1065 01:11:47,677 --> 01:11:50,737 Look at the copyright. She hasn't published anything in 10 years. 1066 01:11:50,947 --> 01:11:53,279 She had knowledge of the city. Does she live here? 1067 01:11:53,483 --> 01:11:54,950 She used to, yes, but I mean-- 1068 01:11:55,151 --> 01:11:58,120 Banneker Press. 2267 Wallace Street. Is that her publisher? 1069 01:11:58,321 --> 01:12:01,484 You're not listening. I said even if you find her she's not gonna-- 1070 01:12:01,691 --> 01:12:03,090 Thank you for your help. 1071 01:12:03,292 --> 01:12:05,055 She only writes tragedies! 1072 01:12:05,261 --> 01:12:06,626 I don't believe in God. 1073 01:12:34,757 --> 01:12:37,658 Okay, he's bringing her flours. 1074 01:12:49,238 --> 01:12:51,832 Kay, where you been? 1075 01:12:52,842 --> 01:12:55,743 I went out to buy cigarettes... 1076 01:12:55,945 --> 01:12:58,709 ...and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick. 1077 01:12:59,982 --> 01:13:01,313 Buying cigarettes? 1078 01:13:01,517 --> 01:13:04,953 As I was-- When I came out of the store... 1079 01:13:05,254 --> 01:13:07,518 ...it came to me. 1080 01:13:08,191 --> 01:13:09,488 How? 1081 01:13:09,692 --> 01:13:11,956 Well, Penny, like anything worth writing... 1082 01:13:12,161 --> 01:13:15,221 ...it came inexplicably and without method. 1083 01:13:15,431 --> 01:13:18,662 I see. Then what happens? 1084 01:13:19,502 --> 01:13:23,700 It's perfect, actually. I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. 1085 01:13:23,906 --> 01:13:26,841 It's simple, ironic... 1086 01:13:27,343 --> 01:13:29,538 ...possibly heartbreaking. 1087 01:13:30,847 --> 01:13:32,178 Is that it? 1088 01:13:32,515 --> 01:13:33,573 Yes. 1089 01:13:33,783 --> 01:13:36,547 - You wrote it on legal sheets? - On the bus. 1090 01:13:38,221 --> 01:13:39,586 Well, then. 1091 01:13:42,959 --> 01:13:47,396 So I'll finish it today. 1092 01:13:49,465 --> 01:13:51,228 I'll let the publishers know. 1093 01:13:51,901 --> 01:13:53,926 I'll begin packing my things. 1094 01:13:54,136 --> 01:13:56,104 I appreciate it. 1095 01:14:12,288 --> 01:14:14,722 - Hi. Hello. Hi. - May I help you? 1096 01:14:14,924 --> 01:14:16,949 I need to speak to Karen Eiffel. 1097 01:14:17,159 --> 01:14:18,524 - I'm sorry? - Karen Eiffel. 1098 01:14:18,728 --> 01:14:20,923 She's one of your authors. I need to talk to her. 1099 01:14:21,130 --> 01:14:23,064 Well, sir, she's not here. 1100 01:14:23,266 --> 01:14:26,360 No. No, I know. I need to find her. I need to know where she is. 1101 01:14:26,569 --> 01:14:27,831 We're just the publishers. 1102 01:14:28,037 --> 01:14:31,837 Right. Of course. But there must be a way that I can contact her. 1103 01:14:32,475 --> 01:14:34,636 We have the address where her fan mail is sent. 1104 01:14:34,844 --> 01:14:37,108 No, I can't send mail. It's urgent. 1105 01:14:37,813 --> 01:14:39,075 How do you know her? 1106 01:14:40,182 --> 01:14:42,776 - I'm her brother. - Her brother? 1107 01:14:43,319 --> 01:14:46,288 - Her brother-in-law. - She has a sister? 1108 01:14:47,023 --> 01:14:49,355 No, I'm married to her brother. 1109 01:14:50,259 --> 01:14:52,887 Not in this state, the one over. 1110 01:14:54,864 --> 01:14:58,129 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 1111 01:14:58,334 --> 01:15:00,632 No. Okay. Listen. 1112 01:15:02,471 --> 01:15:07,431 I'm one of her characters. I'm new. I'm in her new book. 1113 01:15:07,643 --> 01:15:12,046 And she's going to kill me. Not actually. But in the book. 1114 01:15:12,248 --> 01:15:15,843 But I think it'll actually kill me so I just need to talk to her... 1115 01:15:16,052 --> 01:15:18,213 ...and ask her to stop. 1116 01:15:31,834 --> 01:15:34,667 Hi, Harold. Nice sweater. 1117 01:15:37,840 --> 01:15:39,239 Hi, Harold. Phones are out. 1118 01:15:39,442 --> 01:15:41,137 Hey, Harold, 19 percent of 4632...? 1119 01:15:45,448 --> 01:15:47,712 Hey, Harold. Back from your vaca? 1120 01:15:47,917 --> 01:15:50,317 Hey. Looking good. 1121 01:15:51,120 --> 01:15:53,520 - He looks terrible. - Yeah, banged up. 1122 01:15:55,157 --> 01:15:57,022 Wherever he went, I do not want to go. 1123 01:15:57,226 --> 01:15:58,591 Book me not there. 1124 01:16:01,831 --> 01:16:03,025 He's totally ignoring me. 1125 01:16:06,736 --> 01:16:08,499 Here, look at this now. There he goes. 1126 01:16:08,704 --> 01:16:09,898 It was good having you. 1127 01:16:33,429 --> 01:16:36,227 - Oh, dude, the phones are out. - Can I borrow your cellphone? 1128 01:16:36,432 --> 01:16:38,696 - The signal's down. - Damn it. 1129 01:16:38,901 --> 01:16:41,392 - You all right? - Dave, I need a favor. 1130 01:16:41,604 --> 01:16:44,266 - Sure, what is it? - Can I have some change? 1131 01:16:47,610 --> 01:16:50,636 Within moments, Harold found himself running across the plaza... 1132 01:16:50,846 --> 01:16:52,814 ...heading for the nearest pay phone. 1133 01:16:56,118 --> 01:16:57,779 At last, he spotted it. 1134 01:17:00,156 --> 01:17:03,091 But as Harold neared the phone, he saw it was occupied... 1135 01:17:03,292 --> 01:17:06,591 ...by an octogenarian determined to reach his daughter in Denver... 1136 01:17:06,796 --> 01:17:08,855 ...no matter how many quarters it took. 1137 01:17:09,065 --> 01:17:11,363 Fortunately, Harold remembered a bank of phones... 1138 01:17:11,567 --> 01:17:13,330 ...in the Sixth Street subway tunnel. 1139 01:17:13,536 --> 01:17:16,994 The baby's name isn't Mrs. Epstein. My daughter's name is Mrs. Epstein. 1140 01:17:34,890 --> 01:17:37,256 The first phone failed to give a dial tone. 1141 01:17:38,360 --> 01:17:40,157 And the second seemed to be splattered... 1142 01:17:40,362 --> 01:17:42,159 ...with a fresh batch of mucus. 1143 01:17:44,567 --> 01:17:46,626 Harold dialed the third phone... 1144 01:17:46,836 --> 01:17:51,500 ...fervently making sure to give each number key a specific forceful push. 1145 01:18:13,062 --> 01:18:14,495 Don't answer that! 1146 01:18:14,697 --> 01:18:16,597 Didn't you say this phone never r--? 1147 01:18:44,727 --> 01:18:47,025 - Hello? - Is this Karen Eiffel? 1148 01:18:47,229 --> 01:18:48,890 - Yes. - My name is Harold Crick. 1149 01:18:49,098 --> 01:18:51,259 I believe you're writing a story about me. 1150 01:18:52,268 --> 01:18:56,068 - I'm sorry? - My name is Harold Crick. 1151 01:18:56,772 --> 01:18:59,263 - Is this a joke? - No. 1152 01:18:59,475 --> 01:19:02,535 No, I work for the IRS. My name, Miss Eiffel, is Harold Crick. 1153 01:19:02,745 --> 01:19:06,112 When I go through the files at work I hear a deep and endless ocean. 1154 01:19:06,315 --> 01:19:09,182 - Oh, G--! - Miss Eiffel? 1155 01:19:10,119 --> 01:19:11,677 Hello? 1156 01:19:11,887 --> 01:19:14,014 Miss Eiffel? Hello? 1157 01:19:21,330 --> 01:19:22,524 Let him in. 1158 01:19:35,244 --> 01:19:36,541 Hello. 1159 01:19:37,012 --> 01:19:38,138 Hello. 1160 01:19:39,348 --> 01:19:41,043 I'm Penny. I'm Kay's assistant. 1161 01:19:41,250 --> 01:19:44,151 Oh, I'm Harold. Her main character. 1162 01:20:02,504 --> 01:20:04,131 Oh, my God. 1163 01:20:07,910 --> 01:20:09,537 Oh, my God. 1164 01:20:10,913 --> 01:20:12,540 Oh, my God. 1165 01:20:17,753 --> 01:20:19,015 Miss Eiffel? 1166 01:20:19,488 --> 01:20:22,685 Your hair. Your eyes. 1167 01:20:23,926 --> 01:20:25,484 Your fingers. 1168 01:20:27,730 --> 01:20:29,698 Your shoes. 1169 01:20:32,768 --> 01:20:33,962 Hello. 1170 01:20:38,173 --> 01:20:40,164 I'm Harold Crick. 1171 01:20:40,910 --> 01:20:42,639 I know. 1172 01:20:44,613 --> 01:20:45,807 How did you find me? 1173 01:20:46,882 --> 01:20:50,283 We audited you a little more than 10 years ago... 1174 01:20:50,486 --> 01:20:52,477 ...and your number was in the file. 1175 01:20:52,688 --> 01:20:57,318 I'm sorry, but this is incredibly strange. 1176 01:20:57,526 --> 01:20:59,187 You're telling me. 1177 01:20:59,895 --> 01:21:01,988 Didn't you think you were crazy? 1178 01:21:02,631 --> 01:21:04,121 Sort of. 1179 01:21:04,333 --> 01:21:07,894 But then you were right about everything. Like, everything. 1180 01:21:08,103 --> 01:21:10,298 And then you said, "Little did he know." 1181 01:21:10,506 --> 01:21:14,636 - "Little did he know"? - Yeah. It's third-person omniscient. 1182 01:21:15,277 --> 01:21:16,471 Jesus. 1183 01:21:16,679 --> 01:21:20,080 Which meant it was, well, you know, someone other than me. 1184 01:21:20,449 --> 01:21:23,009 At least that's what Professor Hilbert said. 1185 01:21:23,218 --> 01:21:25,311 Professor Hilbert? 1186 01:21:25,654 --> 01:21:27,315 - Professor Jules Hilbert? - Yeah. 1187 01:21:28,624 --> 01:21:30,592 Yeah, he loves your books. 1188 01:21:31,493 --> 01:21:34,428 I love his letters. I don't-- 1189 01:21:34,630 --> 01:21:36,655 So you understand why I had to find you... 1190 01:21:36,865 --> 01:21:40,096 - ...and ask you not to kill me. - What? 1191 01:21:40,569 --> 01:21:43,436 I mean, obviously you haven't written the end. 1192 01:21:44,473 --> 01:21:45,440 Harold... 1193 01:21:45,641 --> 01:21:49,873 I mean, now since we've met and you can see that I exist... 1194 01:21:50,079 --> 01:21:52,047 ...you're not gonna kill me, right? 1195 01:21:54,984 --> 01:21:56,611 Have you written it? 1196 01:21:57,152 --> 01:21:58,710 I can-- No. 1197 01:21:58,921 --> 01:22:00,445 - Have you written it? - An outline. 1198 01:22:01,023 --> 01:22:02,888 Okay. But it's just an outline, right? 1199 01:22:03,092 --> 01:22:04,684 - Yeah, sort of. - "Sort of"? 1200 01:22:04,893 --> 01:22:06,417 - It's just not typed. - "Not typed"?! 1201 01:22:06,628 --> 01:22:08,118 - Maybe that's okay. - What does that mean? 1202 01:22:08,330 --> 01:22:11,731 - I'm sorry, I'm trying to write a book. - What do you mean it's "okay"? 1203 01:22:11,934 --> 01:22:13,959 - What do you mean you're sorry? - Kay. 1204 01:22:14,169 --> 01:22:15,932 Let him read it. 1205 01:22:18,774 --> 01:22:20,537 Let him read it. 1206 01:22:35,391 --> 01:22:37,825 - Did you find her? - Yeah. 1207 01:22:38,293 --> 01:22:41,626 - And? - I may already be dead... 1208 01:22:41,830 --> 01:22:43,627 ...just not typed. 1209 01:22:44,666 --> 01:22:45,655 Is that it? 1210 01:22:47,703 --> 01:22:49,000 Did you read it? 1211 01:22:49,204 --> 01:22:51,502 I tried, but I couldn't. 1212 01:22:53,075 --> 01:22:55,009 You have to read it. 1213 01:22:55,544 --> 01:22:58,138 You have to tell me what to do or what not to do. 1214 01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:01,114 If I can avoid it... 1215 01:23:02,518 --> 01:23:04,486 If I have a chance... 1216 01:23:04,920 --> 01:23:06,410 Please. 1217 01:23:13,262 --> 01:23:14,729 Okay. 1218 01:23:15,397 --> 01:23:16,591 Okay. 1219 01:23:55,471 --> 01:23:57,564 And here's your uniform. 1220 01:23:58,774 --> 01:24:01,538 It's a go. Banetta's outside, she'll assign you your locker. 1221 01:24:03,745 --> 01:24:06,646 - And you roll. - I'm ready. 1222 01:25:03,906 --> 01:25:05,669 Professor Hilbert? 1223 01:25:07,543 --> 01:25:09,807 - Hi, Harold. - Hi. 1224 01:25:11,747 --> 01:25:13,078 You look tired. 1225 01:25:13,815 --> 01:25:16,113 No, no, just calm. 1226 01:25:19,555 --> 01:25:21,420 Harold, I'm sorry. 1227 01:25:25,127 --> 01:25:26,856 You have to die. 1228 01:25:27,863 --> 01:25:29,057 What? 1229 01:25:29,264 --> 01:25:31,755 It's her masterpiece. 1230 01:25:34,069 --> 01:25:39,268 It's possibly the most important novel in her already stunning career... 1231 01:25:39,474 --> 01:25:43,137 ...and it's absolutely no good unless you die at the end. 1232 01:25:44,213 --> 01:25:46,010 I've been over it again and again... 1233 01:25:46,215 --> 01:25:49,844 ...and I know how hard this is for you to hear. 1234 01:25:53,922 --> 01:25:57,187 You're asking me to knowingly face my death? 1235 01:25:58,293 --> 01:25:59,920 Yes. 1236 01:26:01,463 --> 01:26:03,090 Really? 1237 01:26:04,066 --> 01:26:05,363 Yes. 1238 01:26:15,077 --> 01:26:19,537 I thought you'd... I thought you'd find something. 1239 01:26:20,682 --> 01:26:21,979 I'm sorry, Harold. 1240 01:26:24,786 --> 01:26:29,314 Can't we just try and just see if she can change it? 1241 01:26:29,524 --> 01:26:31,992 - No. - No? 1242 01:26:32,194 --> 01:26:33,593 Harold... 1243 01:26:34,463 --> 01:26:37,728 ...in the grand scheme it wouldn't matter. 1244 01:26:39,935 --> 01:26:42,733 - Yes, it would. - No. 1245 01:26:44,840 --> 01:26:46,808 I could change. 1246 01:26:49,044 --> 01:26:51,171 I could quit my job. 1247 01:26:51,380 --> 01:26:54,008 I could go away with Ana. 1248 01:26:54,449 --> 01:26:57,043 I could be someone else. 1249 01:26:57,886 --> 01:26:59,979 Harold, listen to me. 1250 01:27:00,188 --> 01:27:02,588 I can't die right now. 1251 01:27:05,127 --> 01:27:07,652 It's just really bad timing. 1252 01:27:10,098 --> 01:27:13,158 No one wants to die, Harold, but unfortunately we do. 1253 01:27:15,003 --> 01:27:16,527 Harold... 1254 01:27:17,205 --> 01:27:19,196 Harold, listen to me. 1255 01:27:21,310 --> 01:27:24,438 Harold, you will die someday, sometime. 1256 01:27:24,646 --> 01:27:26,807 Heart failure at the bank. 1257 01:27:27,316 --> 01:27:29,511 Choke on a mint. 1258 01:27:30,452 --> 01:27:33,785 Some long, drawn-out disease you contracted on vacation. 1259 01:27:33,989 --> 01:27:37,720 You will die. You will absolutely die. 1260 01:27:38,560 --> 01:27:42,018 Even if you avoid this death, another will find you. 1261 01:27:42,230 --> 01:27:48,066 And I guarantee that it won't be nearly as poetic or meaningful... 1262 01:27:48,470 --> 01:27:50,438 ...as what she's written. 1263 01:27:53,775 --> 01:27:55,606 I'm sorry... 1264 01:27:56,812 --> 01:27:59,576 ...but it's the nature of all tragedies, Harold. 1265 01:28:00,515 --> 01:28:04,349 The hero dies, but the story lives on forever. 1266 01:28:42,824 --> 01:28:47,090 - There's an empty seat right there. - No, I wanna sit down over here. 1267 01:29:22,731 --> 01:29:24,096 Kay? 1268 01:29:35,677 --> 01:29:37,076 Kay? 1269 01:29:39,714 --> 01:29:42,547 How many people do you think I've killed? 1270 01:29:44,619 --> 01:29:46,917 - Kay. - How many? 1271 01:29:47,422 --> 01:29:48,719 - I don't know. - Eight. 1272 01:29:49,558 --> 01:29:53,722 - Kay-- - I've killed eight people. I counted. 1273 01:29:54,362 --> 01:29:56,091 They're fictional. Get up. 1274 01:29:56,298 --> 01:29:58,266 Harold Crick isn't fictional. 1275 01:29:58,700 --> 01:30:01,464 - I don't-- - He isn't fictional, Penny. 1276 01:30:02,537 --> 01:30:06,598 Every book I've ever written ends with someone dying. Every one. 1277 01:30:07,375 --> 01:30:09,775 Really nice people too. 1278 01:30:09,978 --> 01:30:13,937 The book about Helen the schoolteacher. 1279 01:30:15,050 --> 01:30:20,215 I killed her the day before summer vacation. 1280 01:30:20,989 --> 01:30:23,048 How cruel is that? 1281 01:30:23,525 --> 01:30:26,892 And the civil engineer, Edward. 1282 01:30:27,095 --> 01:30:28,528 The one I trapped... 1283 01:30:28,730 --> 01:30:34,259 ...with a heart attack in rush hour. 1284 01:30:34,469 --> 01:30:36,300 I killed him. 1285 01:30:38,073 --> 01:30:40,098 I killed... 1286 01:30:41,176 --> 01:30:43,269 Penny, I killed them all. 1287 01:31:17,045 --> 01:31:19,445 Miss Eiffel? Miss Eiffel? 1288 01:31:20,749 --> 01:31:22,614 - Harold. - Hi. 1289 01:31:22,884 --> 01:31:26,251 - I just finished it. - You just... 1290 01:31:26,454 --> 01:31:29,252 Yeah, I read it all in one read on the bus. 1291 01:31:30,158 --> 01:31:31,819 It's lovely. 1292 01:31:32,027 --> 01:31:34,154 I like the part about the guitars. 1293 01:31:35,230 --> 01:31:39,098 Well, thanks, thanks. Goo-- Well, listen, I'm-- 1294 01:31:39,301 --> 01:31:43,863 No, I read it and I loved it. And there's only one way it can end. 1295 01:31:44,673 --> 01:31:48,200 I mean, I don't have much background in literary anything... 1296 01:31:48,410 --> 01:31:50,344 ...but this seems simple enough. 1297 01:31:53,381 --> 01:31:56,782 I love your book. And I think you should finish it. 1298 01:32:14,035 --> 01:32:15,935 The night before his death... 1299 01:32:16,137 --> 01:32:19,766 ...Harold unsuspectingly went about some usual business. 1300 01:32:21,276 --> 01:32:23,744 He finished his outstanding audits. 1301 01:32:25,680 --> 01:32:28,205 He made a few phone calls he had been putting off. 1302 01:32:28,416 --> 01:32:32,216 Listen, does your program have an age limit? 1303 01:32:32,887 --> 01:32:35,287 And he traveled to Ms. Pascal's... 1304 01:32:35,490 --> 01:32:38,721 ...where she made him meat loaf and chocolate pudding... 1305 01:32:38,927 --> 01:32:41,589 ...and the two watched old movies. 1306 01:32:43,365 --> 01:32:44,992 It was a nice enough evening. 1307 01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:49,034 And in any other circumstance it would've seemed commonplace. 1308 01:32:49,704 --> 01:32:53,105 In fact, the only thing that made this night significant... 1309 01:32:53,308 --> 01:32:55,674 ...was the morning it preceded. 1310 01:33:01,383 --> 01:33:03,681 I have to tell you something. 1311 01:33:03,885 --> 01:33:05,182 You do? 1312 01:33:06,087 --> 01:33:07,748 I do. 1313 01:33:08,556 --> 01:33:11,650 - Is it a secret? - Sort of. 1314 01:33:11,860 --> 01:33:13,350 Tell me. 1315 01:33:15,063 --> 01:33:17,031 I adore you. 1316 01:33:20,235 --> 01:33:22,328 I adore you too. 1317 01:33:25,040 --> 01:33:28,476 - That it? - No. 1318 01:33:29,678 --> 01:33:31,475 I have to tell you this. 1319 01:33:31,680 --> 01:33:34,274 I just want you to listen carefully. 1320 01:33:34,482 --> 01:33:36,040 Okay. 1321 01:33:37,385 --> 01:33:41,515 You can deduct the value of all the food you give away... 1322 01:33:41,723 --> 01:33:44,248 - ...as a charitable contribution. - Harold. 1323 01:33:44,459 --> 01:33:49,761 No, no, no. In fact it amounts to more than what you're currently withholding. 1324 01:33:49,964 --> 01:33:52,125 And it doesn't break any tax laws. 1325 01:33:52,333 --> 01:33:56,531 Harold, the point is to break the tax laws. 1326 01:33:56,738 --> 01:34:00,105 I wanna make the world a better place too, Ana. 1327 01:34:01,076 --> 01:34:04,239 I think that means keeping you out of jail. 1328 01:34:08,216 --> 01:34:09,706 Okay. 1329 01:34:10,385 --> 01:34:11,875 Okay? 1330 01:34:12,087 --> 01:34:13,554 - Yeah. - Okay. 1331 01:34:13,755 --> 01:34:17,418 If you come over here... 1332 01:34:17,625 --> 01:34:21,823 ...and talk a little more tax talk in my ear. 1333 01:34:22,030 --> 01:34:24,362 Because I like it so much. 1334 01:35:47,315 --> 01:35:51,046 Much had changed for Harold over the past few weeks: 1335 01:35:51,252 --> 01:35:53,220 His attitude towards work. 1336 01:35:53,421 --> 01:35:55,753 His habitual counting. 1337 01:35:56,057 --> 01:35:57,820 His love life. 1338 01:36:01,996 --> 01:36:05,363 But of all the transmutations Harold Crick had undergone... 1339 01:36:05,567 --> 01:36:10,561 ...perhaps the most significant was that today on his return to work... 1340 01:36:10,772 --> 01:36:15,209 ...he was not late for the 8:17 Kronecker bus. 1341 01:36:17,879 --> 01:36:19,574 What Harold had not understood... 1342 01:36:19,781 --> 01:36:22,181 ...about that Wednesday four weeks prior... 1343 01:36:22,383 --> 01:36:25,147 ...was that the time he received from his fellow commuter... 1344 01:36:25,353 --> 01:36:29,084 ...was, in fact, three full minutes later than the actual time... 1345 01:36:29,290 --> 01:36:31,588 ...and, therefore, three full minutes later... 1346 01:36:31,793 --> 01:36:36,492 ...than the time to which his watch and life had been previously set. 1347 01:36:37,565 --> 01:36:39,931 Not the worst of errors. 1348 01:36:41,302 --> 01:36:44,635 But if Harold had not set his watch to the incorrect time... 1349 01:36:44,839 --> 01:36:48,400 ...Harold would have again barely caught the 8:17 Kronecker bus. 1350 01:36:49,043 --> 01:36:51,170 And he would not be approaching the bus stop... 1351 01:36:51,379 --> 01:36:54,576 ...precisely at 8:14 this particular Friday. 1352 01:36:54,782 --> 01:36:56,249 Excuse me. 1353 01:37:00,288 --> 01:37:01,915 Harold? 1354 01:37:03,358 --> 01:37:05,451 An otherwise ignorable fact... 1355 01:37:06,027 --> 01:37:07,688 ...until the unthinkable occurred. 1356 01:37:41,462 --> 01:37:43,726 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1357 01:37:43,932 --> 01:37:45,627 I need for everyone to just stay seated. 1358 01:37:45,833 --> 01:37:47,357 Come on, son. 1359 01:37:52,507 --> 01:37:55,101 - What happened? I didn't see him. - It was not your fault. 1360 01:37:55,310 --> 01:37:57,608 He was trying to help the boy. Get your supervisor. 1361 01:37:57,812 --> 01:37:59,006 I don't believe this. 1362 01:37:59,213 --> 01:38:01,704 - It was all my fault, though. - No, it wasn't. 1363 01:38:01,916 --> 01:38:03,110 Is he okay? 1364 01:38:03,318 --> 01:38:06,151 - It looks likes he's breathing. - I don't think he's breathing. 1365 01:38:06,354 --> 01:38:07,651 Oh, my God. 1366 01:38:22,603 --> 01:38:23,763 Come in. 1367 01:38:27,475 --> 01:38:28,533 Excuse me. 1368 01:38:32,313 --> 01:38:34,543 Are you Professor Hilbert? 1369 01:38:36,250 --> 01:38:37,683 Yes. 1370 01:38:39,921 --> 01:38:42,412 Hi. I'm Karen Eiffel. 1371 01:38:43,224 --> 01:38:47,627 I believe we have a mutual acquaintance. 1372 01:38:49,097 --> 01:38:51,292 Please, sit down. 1373 01:38:52,233 --> 01:38:54,758 No, I just came by to... 1374 01:38:55,837 --> 01:38:57,202 Here. 1375 01:39:00,575 --> 01:39:03,442 - Is that it? - Yes. 1376 01:39:04,312 --> 01:39:06,007 Have you read it? 1377 01:39:07,648 --> 01:39:09,343 Is that all right? 1378 01:39:12,854 --> 01:39:14,378 Yes. 1379 01:39:16,924 --> 01:39:21,861 I think, perhaps, you may be interested in the new ending. 1380 01:39:34,375 --> 01:39:36,240 Good afternoon. 1381 01:39:37,178 --> 01:39:38,907 Oh, hi. 1382 01:39:39,547 --> 01:39:41,845 It's a pretty brave thing you did. 1383 01:39:44,919 --> 01:39:47,945 Stepping in front of that bus was pretty brave. 1384 01:39:49,557 --> 01:39:52,219 Kind of stupid, but pretty brave. 1385 01:39:52,427 --> 01:39:54,156 Oh, yeah. 1386 01:39:55,096 --> 01:39:56,723 Is that boy okay? 1387 01:39:56,931 --> 01:39:59,161 He's just fine. Scratched up is all. 1388 01:39:59,367 --> 01:40:00,994 Oh, good. 1389 01:40:03,471 --> 01:40:04,995 Am I okay? 1390 01:40:05,940 --> 01:40:07,805 Well, you're not dead. 1391 01:40:08,009 --> 01:40:10,807 On the other hand, it looks like you cracked your head... 1392 01:40:11,012 --> 01:40:13,207 ...you broke three bones in your leg and foot... 1393 01:40:13,414 --> 01:40:16,110 ...you suffered four broken ribs, fractured your left arm... 1394 01:40:16,317 --> 01:40:20,219 ...and severed an artery in your right, which should've killed you in minutes. 1395 01:40:20,421 --> 01:40:21,615 But amazingly... 1396 01:40:21,823 --> 01:40:24,553 ...a shard of metal from your watch obstructed the artery... 1397 01:40:24,759 --> 01:40:27,694 ...keeping the blood loss low enough to keep you alive... 1398 01:40:27,895 --> 01:40:29,362 ...which is pretty cool. 1399 01:40:30,698 --> 01:40:32,962 Yeah. So with some physical therapy... 1400 01:40:33,167 --> 01:40:35,897 ...a few months of rest, you should be fine. 1401 01:40:36,237 --> 01:40:39,365 Well, sort of. We weren't able to remove the shard of watch... 1402 01:40:39,574 --> 01:40:42,475 ...from your arm without risking severe arterial damage. 1403 01:40:42,677 --> 01:40:44,975 You'll be okay. You'll just have a piece of watch... 1404 01:40:45,179 --> 01:40:47,443 ...embedded in your arm the rest of your life. 1405 01:40:48,082 --> 01:40:50,915 You're very lucky to be alive, Mr. Crick. 1406 01:40:51,853 --> 01:40:52,820 Yeah. 1407 01:40:57,058 --> 01:41:00,425 - Dr. Mercator, Mr. Crick has a visitor. - Sure. 1408 01:41:01,462 --> 01:41:04,989 - My God, Harold. - Hey. 1409 01:41:07,702 --> 01:41:10,466 - I'm okay. It's all right. - Harold. 1410 01:41:10,671 --> 01:41:12,161 I'm fine. 1411 01:41:12,373 --> 01:41:14,967 Harold, you're not fine. 1412 01:41:15,176 --> 01:41:18,577 Look at you. You're severely injured. 1413 01:41:18,779 --> 01:41:21,748 - No, I'm fine. - What--? What happened? 1414 01:41:22,917 --> 01:41:24,544 I stepped in front of a bus. 1415 01:41:24,752 --> 01:41:27,550 What? Why? 1416 01:41:27,755 --> 01:41:31,384 There was a boy. I had to push him out of the way. 1417 01:41:31,592 --> 01:41:33,651 What? 1418 01:41:34,562 --> 01:41:37,793 I had to keep this boy from getting hit. 1419 01:41:41,202 --> 01:41:44,296 You stepped in front of a bus to save a little boy? 1420 01:41:45,206 --> 01:41:47,299 I didn't have a choice. 1421 01:41:47,508 --> 01:41:49,135 I had to. 1422 01:42:03,591 --> 01:42:06,685 It's... It's okay. 1423 01:42:07,995 --> 01:42:10,691 - It's not great. - No. 1424 01:42:10,898 --> 01:42:13,332 It's okay. It's not bad. 1425 01:42:13,768 --> 01:42:17,101 It's not the most amazing piece of English literature in several years... 1426 01:42:17,305 --> 01:42:19,637 ...but it's okay. 1427 01:42:21,709 --> 01:42:22,676 You know... 1428 01:42:25,146 --> 01:42:27,444 ...I think I'm fine with "okay." 1429 01:42:27,648 --> 01:42:30,173 It doesn't make sense with the rest of the book though. 1430 01:42:30,384 --> 01:42:32,978 No, not yet. I'll rewrite the rest. 1431 01:42:33,187 --> 01:42:35,519 My assistant said she'd go back to the publisher... 1432 01:42:35,723 --> 01:42:38,248 - ...and request more time. - Why? 1433 01:42:38,693 --> 01:42:40,354 Don't know. It's awfully sweet though. 1434 01:42:40,561 --> 01:42:43,029 No, why did you change the book? 1435 01:42:45,466 --> 01:42:46,990 Lots of reasons. 1436 01:42:47,201 --> 01:42:49,931 I realized I just couldn't do it. 1437 01:42:51,239 --> 01:42:53,207 Because he's real? 1438 01:42:53,741 --> 01:42:56,505 Because it's a book about a man... 1439 01:42:56,711 --> 01:42:59,703 ...who doesn't know he's about to die and then dies. 1440 01:42:59,914 --> 01:43:03,611 But if the man does know he's going to die and dies anyway... 1441 01:43:03,818 --> 01:43:06,286 ...dies willingly, knowing he could stop it, then... 1442 01:43:08,089 --> 01:43:12,082 I mean, isn't that the type of man you want to keep alive? 1443 01:43:14,428 --> 01:43:17,261 As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie... 1444 01:43:17,465 --> 01:43:21,492 ...he finally felt as if everything was going to be okay. 1445 01:43:22,470 --> 01:43:26,031 Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair... 1446 01:43:26,240 --> 01:43:28,640 ...in routine and constancy... 1447 01:43:29,744 --> 01:43:31,905 ...in hopelessness and tragedy... 1448 01:43:32,513 --> 01:43:36,074 ...we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. 1449 01:43:36,817 --> 01:43:39,547 And fortunately, when there aren't any cookies... 1450 01:43:39,754 --> 01:43:44,487 ...we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin... 1451 01:43:45,826 --> 01:43:47,817 ...or a kind and loving gesture... 1452 01:43:51,632 --> 01:43:53,099 ...or a subtle encouragement... 1453 01:43:57,405 --> 01:43:59,737 ...or a loving embrace... 1454 01:44:02,009 --> 01:44:04,842 ...or an offer of comfort. 1455 01:44:05,613 --> 01:44:09,344 Not to mention hospital gurneys... 1456 01:44:11,319 --> 01:44:13,446 ...and nose plugs... 1457 01:44:20,161 --> 01:44:22,527 ...and uneaten Danish... 1458 01:44:24,632 --> 01:44:26,759 ...and soft-spoken secrets... 1459 01:44:30,671 --> 01:44:33,504 ...and Fender Stratocasters... 1460 01:44:34,175 --> 01:44:38,839 ...and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. 1461 01:44:39,947 --> 01:44:42,245 And we must remember that all these things... 1462 01:44:42,450 --> 01:44:44,611 ...the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties... 1463 01:44:44,819 --> 01:44:46,878 ...which we assume only accessorize our days... 1464 01:44:47,088 --> 01:44:51,422 ...are, in fact, here for a much larger and nobler cause: 1465 01:44:51,726 --> 01:44:54,923 They are here to save our lives. 1466 01:44:55,563 --> 01:44:58,157 I know the idea seems strange. 1467 01:44:58,366 --> 01:45:01,961 But I also know that it just so happens to be true. 1468 01:45:02,970 --> 01:45:04,403 And so it was: 1469 01:45:04,605 --> 01:45:07,073 A wristwatch saved Harold Crick. 115302