Original subtitles

Darn teenagers!

You better not be in my field makin' out!

Not in front of my pumpkins! Now scram!

Back in my day, we had respect for a man's vegetables.

You kids with your far-out, hippie love-ins.

What in the...?!

Oh, yeah. The classic "up and at 'em."

That was very scary. Do the creature from the Blue Lagoon.

No! No, no, no, no! I can't handle it! Just stop it. Please, stop it!

Have you stopped? Have you stopped yet?

Link, what do you think I should be for Halloween?

Chewing gum! Matzo ball!

Beach ball! Snowball! Melted snowball!

Solar system! Fat Elvis!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

You as Fat Elvis?

Actually, yeah, you know, maybe. Try it. See.

- Guys! Good news! - Hey, check this out.

Looks like that yeti sighting was just a hoax,

so we've got the night off.

Enjoy your coffee. It's normal.

No one's in it.

This could use a little more milk.

Where is your Halloween spirit?

Hey, I've got plenty of Halloween spirit.

Just wait till you see my zombie cheerleader costume.

Now where am I gonna get some really huge pom-poms?

Susan, you're a real monster now,

and that means you're playing in the big leagues

with the big boys.

I've got 50 years of missed Halloweens all smushed up tight inside me,

just bursting to get out!

This isn't just any night! It's our night!

And when it finally comes, we gots to terrify.

Perhaps, my finned friend.

But for some of us, All Hallows' Eve

is more trick than treat.

I was but a lad,

my head filled with dreams of particle physics and candy...

...sweet candy.

The future before me seemed sugar-coated, until...

My Swirly Pop!

From that dark day forth,

Halloween was dead to me... forever.

You know, I kind of want to throw you in the trash right now.

Come on, guys, like you said,

it's our night, right?

So let's get out and have some fun!

Fun time's over, monsters!

It's a no-go, I repeat, a no-go on Halloween.

- Yes! - What?

We got us a major situation.

A UFO has entered our airspace over California,

and you ain't gonna believe where.

Modesto?! Why is it always Modesto?

I thought it was kind of freaky myself.

Any idea what we're facing, General?

Invasion? Abductions?

Probes?

Unknown. And I hate me some unknown.

So I want you on the ground and searching Modesto

for possible alien intruders, ASAP!

Better yet, pronto!

And let's keep this on a need-to-know basis,

meaning nobody needs to know!

- What about my parents? - Nope, not even your parents.

It's Halloween after all.

We don't want to go around scarin' folks.

Hello? Hey, get down here. They're givin' away pumpkins.

And it looks like they're goin' fast.

Free pumpkins for all humans? I'm a human. Sign me up.

Perfect!

Nobody does Halloween like the Murphys.

We did it again, Carl.

Susie Q!

- Mom! Dad! - Sweetie?

Oh, I'm so glad to see you.

Oh, honey, I can't believe you came.

I finally managed to get a night off, so... I'm here.

Well, you're always so busy saving the Earth. It's not healthy.

Yes, we were starting to think

Modesto would have to get invaded by aliens again to see our daughter.

That's just ridiculous!

Yes, we're just here for the party, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy.

If indeed that's who you actually are!

They're clear.

Clearly ready to throw the best Halloween party in Modesto!

Oh, we went all out this year, hon!

I included all your old favorites:

Death by Chocolate Fountain,

the Wicked Witch's Candy Poison Apple Tree,

and... Children of the Candy Cornfield!

Yeah, not bad, but you know, call me when it's real candy.

- You know what I'm sayin'? - B.O.B., it is real candy.

Hey, guys, since everything looks fine here,

why don't you go out and do some trick or treating?

You know? Check out the neighborhood?

Of course. We'll keep an eye out for candy.

Wait, where are we goin'? There's candy in here. Wait.

You comin', B?

Just try and stay... focused.

Susan, maybe you and your mom

can start peeling the grapes for the eyeball salad.

I've got to get to Farmer Jeb's patch.

Not to point the finger, but we need more pumpkins.

No!

Sorry.

It's not safe out there.

You know, 'cause kids are throwing eggs and... you could get TP'd.

So I'll go get the pumpkins.

Don't run!

I think I stepped in something.

- It's quite simple, B.O.B. - Trick or treat!

You ring the doorbell, then repeat the following:

"Trick or treat."

If they offer you candy, they are most likely human.

If they offer to probe you, they are most likely not.

Wait, wait, wait. They give candy to us?

For free? Are they crazy?!

That free candy comes with a price, B.O.B.

Now, focus! We have a mission to attend to.

This is ridiculous.

I've waited 50 years to scare the caramel out of these kids!

- I can't wait any longer! - Link!

Just tell them that I got sick or something.

I'll do a make-up mission later. I gotta go.

Trick or treat, trick or treat.

B.O.B.!

- Trick or treat... - Oh, fine, I'll do it myself.

Trick or treat, trick or treat... Trick or treat.

- Hey! Happy Hallow... - Relax. This won't hurt a bit.

All clear.

Oh, my gosh, it's Shrek! Honey, bring the camera!

Say cheese.

Trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat. Got it.

All clear.

Ouch.

What?

Hey there, little genius. You're dressed like me.

No, I'm dressed as The Missing Link.

You're dressed as a fat, old mermaid.

Yeah, since when does Link have a beer gut?

What is happening right now?

I believe that what my colleague intended to say was...

...trick or treat.

What an inventive costume, dear.

Really quite disgusting.

You deserve something special.

A Swirly Pop? For me?

And this time, no pimply hooligans will deprive me of my lickable loot!

Come, B.O.B.! We have a new prime directive! Candy.

Trick...!

Come on, Link!

This is going to be the best Halloween ever!

Look, Mommy, it's Kermit!

Ridiculous...

...piggy...

Biggest one in the patch, son.

'Cause that's how we roll.

I'm gonna call you... Wicked Jack.

That's perfect, son.

Now, what do you say we gut this sucker?

Yeah.

Wow, that almost looks real, hon!

Boo!

You can talk? You're just... just...

You're just... You're just...

Trick or treat!

Farmer Jeb? Hello!

Jeb?

Hello, guys? Are you there?

- Susie. - Are you seeing anything?

I'm just outside of town and there's nothing.

Not even weird old Farmer Jeb.

Same here, Suze.

I think that this is just one big...

Link! Are you all right?! What happened?!

Sorry, Susan. Creepy clown costume.

But everything's simply delightful here!

No, B.O.B., put that down! That's my Butterfinger! A trade's a trade!

- We'll be in touch. Cockroach out. - I got an idea.

Is anybody in here?

They're alive!

Trick or treat Smell my feet

Oh, look at that! Everyone's having such fun!

What's happening?!

To think I spent all those years poo-pooing Halloween.

- Don't look back! - Link, I owe you an apology.

Can we please just forget Halloween and find these stupid...

...pumpkins?

If I didn't have a cockroach head myself...

...I'd be freaking out right now.

Go away! Get out of here!

Hey, pal, you're about to get Cool Whipped.

Wait, wait! I think I can reason with them!

My mother was a tomato. I speak Produce.

What did he say?

Horrible things. About my mother... in a salad bar.

Fiends! Whatever you're after, you won't get it here!

Let go! That's my candy!

Good Galileo! Of course!

Link, whatever mutated these pumpkins gave them a sweet tooth!

It's not the children they're after!

It's the candy.

No!

And just like us,

the more candy they eat, the bigger they'll get

until the whole world becomes their pumpkin patch!

I'm looking at you, stem-head!

No way, pumpkin thing!

You're not getting one more piece of candy!

And you are definitely not getting what's at the Murphy house...

...which is right down the street, right there.

Susan? We have a problem.

Only 20 minutes till the party begins!

I get the feeling it's gonna be a madhouse.

You know it, Wendy!

You think we overdid it on the candy?

You messed with the wrong monsters, pumpkin!

Nobody steals candy on my watch!

And nobody freaks these kids out but me.

I'm thinking! Stop pressuring me!

I hope somebody brought the nutmeg.

Halloween belongs to monsters,

and this monster's a pumpkin-crushing giant!

And apparently you're a giant-crushing pumpkin.

Candy!

Well, you'll never get this candy!

Come on, guys! I can't do this alone!

You know what? Never mind, I can!

I can't believe I'm actually fighting a vegetable!

No!

Technically, he's a fruit, Susan.

I always hated squash!

Susan, look out!

In your face, pumpkin! Get it?

Oh, no, don't punch yourself.

By Newton's Figs!

Oh, maybe this wasn't the best strategy after all.

Or maybe it was!

If it's candy he wants, let's give it to him!

It makes them bigger!

Bigger and bigger, ad nauseam!

Yes! Loot the lawn and shake the trees!

Over here!

Kids! Get every piece of candy you can find!

- Get it! - Got it!

- Go! Let's go! - Hold down the fort, children!

Eat that, you pumpkin!

These'll work.

Look, it's The Missing Link!

You like that?

Say hello to my little friend.

Get some!

We need some more!

Take that!

- Catch this! - Mean old pumpkin!

It's working!

Yeah, let's not overdo it.

Oh, no!

Just a few more pieces!

We're all out, Doc.

There must be some...

Farewell...

...my precious.

- Happy Halloween?! - Happy Halloween?!

Mom, Dad, just give me a sec, OK?

Nobody ruins a Murphy Halloween.

Trick or treat!

I'm gonna say, "Trick."

Oh, no.

Elvis! I knew you were still alive!

We got our candy back!

A Swirly Pop!

- That's my favorite! - Trade ya!

So I guess you did just come into town to stop an alien invasion

and not to visit your parents.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this.

And I wish I could make it home more often, but...

Oh, it's OK, Susie Q.

From now on, your mom and I

are just gonna have to get used to sharing you with the world.

I think you need to talk to those people about a raise.

Your mother's right, honey. How are the benefits?

You know what, Dad? They're pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, who wants to bob for apples?

You got it, Carl! Just stick your face in my body!

B.O.B.?

Boo.

Still got it.

Well done as always, monsters!

I love the smell of mutant pumpkin guts in the evening.

Smells like victory.

Also a little like pie.

Glad you could make it to our party, General.

- Oh, my gosh. Look at that big... - Oh, my God.