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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:07,173 - I picked up your order from the printers. 2 00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,709 - Oh, the anniversary flyer. 3 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,344 Let me see. 4 00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,148 Oh, it looks great! 5 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,483 - What the heck? 6 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,318 He only gave us one. 7 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,453 - I only ordered one. 8 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:23,623 This is for the regulars, and they know where to look. 9 00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:25,325 - The anniversary party is on? 10 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,627 I just heard Tall Kathy talking to Short Kathy about it. 11 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:28,695 - It's on. 12 00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:29,829 - Yes! 13 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,198 Oh, Izzy, you are going to love this. 14 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:35,669 We have a raffle and karaoke, and there's a roast. 15 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,836 - Who gets roasted? 16 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,004 - The regulars. 17 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,573 Every year, Daddy would emcee, and he loved them so much 18 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:44,177 that he'd just rip them to shreds. 19 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,746 - He's like Joan Rivers and Don Rickles just rolled into one. 20 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:50,316 You know, he'd be all like, zing, zing, zingity-zing! 21 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,687 - OK, the bar is absolutely buzzing 22 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,655 about the anniversary party. 23 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,223 - But who's going to emcee? 24 00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:58,792 Happy left some really big shoes to fill. 25 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,593 - I've got somebody in mind. 26 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,596 They know the tavern, naturally funny, 27 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:07,867 and they have a gorgeous mane of red hair. 28 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,569 - Oh, Bobbie, I'm flattered, 29 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,472 but I don't think I need to dye my hair. 30 00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,874 - I'm talking about me, ya hockey puck. 31 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,209 Zing, zing! 32 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,610 - Oh, I'm sorry. 33 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:21,214 I just was confused because I'm the obvious choice. 34 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,316 - You really think you're the obvious choice 35 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,185 to replace my dad? 36 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:26,419 - [chuckles] My mistake. 37 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:29,589 I thought we were going off comedic talent, not nepotism. 38 00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:30,724 Zing, zing. 39 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,559 - Oh, OK. 40 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,495 Maybe we just take it down a notch. 41 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,297 - Happy you always said that if anyone thought 42 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,498 they were funnier than him, 43 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:41,735 they could challenge him for the job. 44 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,204 - That would be up a notch. 45 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,506 - I live for drama. 46 00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:47,841 - You know what? 47 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:48,875 Game on. 48 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:50,377 - Oh, all right. 49 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,246 Challenge accepted. 50 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,716 - I have a bad feeling about this. 51 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,917 - Oh, don't worry. 52 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,486 We'll still be friends, right? 53 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:00,954 - Yeah, this is just two friends 54 00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:02,622 having a friendly competition. 55 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,691 - Two funny ladies being funny. 56 00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:05,959 It'll be great. 57 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,727 And Emmett and Takoda can judge. 58 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:08,928 - I'm already bored. 59 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,663 Wake me up when there's drama. 60 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:16,836 - ? Sometimes it feels like a big ol' fight ? 61 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,638 ? To get through the day ? 62 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,674 ? And sleep on through the night ? 63 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,742 ? But here you'll find a place ? 64 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:26,346 ? That'll surely lift your spirits ? 65 00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:31,584 ? You belong at Happy's Place ? 66 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,520 - Boy, it smells good in here. 67 00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:36,423 - Must be the grease cleaner. 68 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:39,492 Highly toxic with just a touch of lemon scent. 69 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,696 - Have I ever told you how valuable you are? 70 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:43,963 - Once. Just now. 71 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,299 What do you want? 72 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,934 - Want? Me? 73 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,736 I want for nothing. 74 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,573 OK, I want you to promise me that you'll vote for me 75 00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:54,808 'cause I want to be the emcee 76 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:55,942 at the anniversary party. 77 00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,644 - Mm-hmm. No. 78 00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,714 - Come on, Emmett, what's the big deal? 79 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,849 - I realize you don't know anything about judging 80 00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,884 a talent contest. 81 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:08,955 The decision should be made on talent and talent alone. 82 00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:10,890 And that's what America expects, 83 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,727 and that's what America deserves. 84 00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:19,833 - 2:03 and Emmett has lost his mind. 85 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,935 - I thought you were looking forward to this competition. 86 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,636 - Only if I win. 87 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,705 Do you have any idea why nobody ever challenged Daddy? 88 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,841 - 'Cause they didn't want to get fired? 89 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:31,578 - No, 'cause he was the heart and soul of this place. 90 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,546 That's when he let it shine. 91 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,815 I want people to think of me the same way. 92 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,751 - Then win the damn thing. 93 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,353 Winning doesn't mean anything if it's not fair and square. 94 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,589 I'm not going to take that away from you. 95 00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:43,690 - Fine. 96 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:47,694 2:04, Emmett turned into a traitor. 97 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,662 - 2:04? 98 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,398 Time for my break. 99 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:58,371 - So how's prepping for the big showdown with Gabby going? 100 00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,773 - It's hard to tell. 101 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,409 These walls may talk, but they sure don't laugh. 102 00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,512 - Hey. 103 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,914 I just told two people at the bar a funny story, 104 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:10,350 and they said, and I quote-- 105 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:13,486 [laughing] 106 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,396 - Well, I'm so glad you're into the competition, Gabby. 107 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,065 Me, too. - Hm, really? 108 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,700 - Oh, yeah. 109 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,402 I said something to Isabella, and she laughed so hard 110 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,339 that she smashed her head on the desk. 111 00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:35,575 - Ow? 112 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,512 - Yeah, well, I better get back out there, you know? 113 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,348 Oh, what's that now? 114 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,484 They're calling me the new Happy. 115 00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,720 Oh, I'm coming, Tall Kathy. 116 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,455 Hold your horses. 117 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,759 - I'm kind of jealous of this competition you're in. 118 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,762 It reminds me of when I was on the debate team in college. 119 00:04:55,795 --> 00:05:00,033 Not to brag, but we were undefeated. 120 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:03,069 - That is bragging. 121 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,705 And very interesting. 122 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,974 I actually know of a way that you can be 123 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,042 part of the competition. 124 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:10,643 - How fun. 125 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:11,911 What do you need me to do? 126 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,481 - Help me destroy Gabby. 127 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,651 - OK. 128 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:21,454 Want to help, but not sure I'm comfortable destroying someone. 129 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,390 - No, I just want you to help me with my act. 130 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:24,424 - Oh. 131 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:25,892 Oh, my gosh, of course. 132 00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:28,428 This is exactly like speech and debate. 133 00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:29,596 Oh, man, I'm so excited. 134 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,898 Let's make those Barnard girls cry! 135 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,069 - Oh, OK. 136 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,837 Well, I have some material ready. 137 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,005 It just needs a little polishing. 138 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,874 - Great. Persuade me. 139 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:41,908 I mean, make me laugh. 140 00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,610 - Yeah. 141 00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,011 All right, so I'm gonna start off 142 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,613 by introducing myself, 143 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:47,814 and then I'm gonna do the crowd work. 144 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,716 - Oh, love that. 145 00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:50,517 - Yeah. 146 00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,620 And then I'm gonna say, nice hat. 147 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,559 And then I'm gonna go into my hat jokes. 148 00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,127 - Who are you saying "nice hat" to? 149 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,462 - Emmett. 150 00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,898 I'm gonna give Emmett this hat. 151 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:08,702 - You think Emmett is going to put on a funny hat? 152 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,939 - OK, maybe I get rid of all the hat jokes. 153 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,809 I'm just gonna go into my routine, OK? 154 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,143 - So excited. 155 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,112 - OK. [laughs] 156 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:22,482 Two bartenders are fighting over what the best drink is, 157 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:23,516 and one says it's-- 158 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,851 - Bobbie, look up. - What? 159 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,753 - Well, you want to look at the audience. 160 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:28,021 - Oh, right. 161 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,856 OK. 162 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,826 Tell your monkey that's how we make it in New York! 163 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,065 Come on. 164 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,800 That's hilarious. 165 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:45,038 - I feel like you left out the middle. 166 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,906 - You made me look up. 167 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:49,943 What's the matter with me? 168 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,277 I'm funny. 169 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:55,015 I know a lot of people say they are, and they're not, but I am. 170 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,683 - I know what's going on. 171 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:59,552 This means a lot to you, and you're trying too hard. 172 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,954 - Yeah, you're right. 173 00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,822 I gotta loosen up. 174 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,991 - Same thing would happen to my friend Kristi on debate team. 175 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,594 - Yeah? - She was naturally persuasive. 176 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,764 She convinced me to get a mullet once. 177 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,133 But put her behind a podium, and she'd freeze. 178 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,968 - I don't want to freeze. 179 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,236 - You won't. 180 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,571 Not with a three-time collegiate champ 181 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,572 in your corner. 182 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,075 Now give me those cards. 183 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,845 You don't need these or this silly hat. 184 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:33,386 [upbeat music] 185 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,092 - Hey, Takoda. 186 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:41,995 Need any help? 187 00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,296 - Sure, Gabby. Can you help me chop? 188 00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,597 - Yeah. 189 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,832 I love chopping. 190 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:46,900 Chop, chop. 191 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,535 Chop o'clock. 192 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,537 On it. 193 00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:55,008 You know, carrots can improve your eyesight. 194 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,277 - And your soup. 195 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,013 - So true. 196 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,749 Question for you. 197 00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,984 Are you as worried about our friendship as I am? 198 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,088 - Why would you ask that? 199 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,689 - Well, I'm sorry, I just-- 200 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,124 I have to be honest. 201 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,859 We used to be solid. 202 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,094 Like a rock. 203 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,896 Or Emmett's forearms. 204 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:20,667 But lately, I'm just not sure where your loyalty lies. 205 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,605 - I apologize. 206 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:26,973 Maybe I've been distant. 207 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:30,310 My wife says I do that sometimes. 208 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,778 - Well, don't sweat it. 209 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,179 I know you've got a lot on your plate. 210 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:35,348 Even more now that I've done all this chopping. 211 00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,050 [laughs] 212 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,818 Everything will be fine once you just 213 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,154 vote to make me the new emcee. 214 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,024 - No, that wouldn't be fair to you or Bobbie. 215 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:47,193 - Well, it would be if Bobbie didn't know. 216 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,995 - Aha! 217 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,797 Busted! 218 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,265 I can't believe you're trying to get 219 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:55,802 Takoda to compromise his sacred duty as comedy judge. 220 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:58,338 Where's your integrity? 221 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,373 - It ran away with yours. 222 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,942 To Hypocrite Island. 223 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:06,713 This is just like when you asked Emmett for his vote. 224 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:07,814 - How did you know that? 225 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:11,885 - I didn't, until just now! 226 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,087 - Does she know that you've got Isabella to help coach you? 227 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,221 - [gasps] 228 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,924 - Do you know you're not part of this conversation? 229 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:21,261 - Oh, so you couldn't go at it alone, huh? 230 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:24,064 I must really have you rattled. 231 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,231 - I don't rattle. 232 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,866 I roll. 233 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,075 - Can you believe she went to Isabella for help? 234 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,643 How pathetic. 235 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,045 - We can't let this party divide us. 236 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,715 It's the opposite of what Happy would have wanted. 237 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,717 - Yes, of course. Exactly. Well said. 238 00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,188 Come on. 239 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,123 A French fry joke? 240 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,825 [chuckles] 241 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,060 Oh, shoot, it's good. 242 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,430 Did you hear any of that? 243 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,799 - No, unlike you, I don't press my ears 244 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,002 to unsanitary surfaces. 245 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,738 - Isabella is in there helping Bobbie. 246 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,006 OK, that is not playing fair. 247 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,807 - And you're telling me this because? 248 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,275 - Because I know that you used to help 249 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,343 Happy with his material. 250 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,212 In secret. 251 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,115 - He told me he would take that to the grave. 252 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,750 How do you know that? 253 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,019 Are you doing seances again? 254 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,988 - Yeah, but that's not how I know. 255 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:25,759 There was a certain Steve-ness to Happy's roasts, you know. 256 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,895 Good-natured with just a dash of harm. 257 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:32,766 - I'm flattered you noticed my duality. 258 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,234 - So will you help me? 259 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,335 - It depends. 260 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,137 Why is this important to you? 261 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:42,175 - Because I have never won a competition in my whole life. 262 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,110 I used to think it was because I'm not competitive, 263 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,680 but my mom told me it's because I suck. 264 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,086 You know, I have never made her laugh. 265 00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,187 Not once. 266 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,024 - I'm in. 267 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,159 - Yes! 268 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,061 OK, so I thought I would start with just a little bit-- 269 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,830 - Uh, uh, uh. 270 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,232 If we're working together, 271 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,934 there is one rule. 272 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,938 You have to do exactly what I say. 273 00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,506 - I mean, is that necessary? 274 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,241 - You want to be a winner? - Yes. 275 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,209 - Then hear and obey. 276 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,911 - Oh. 277 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,346 - Give me your first joke. - Oh. 278 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,780 Yes, sir. 279 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,282 [chuckles] I started bartending-- 280 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,117 - Too slow. 281 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,218 Pace. 282 00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,286 Again. 283 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:27,220 - I started bartending here-- 284 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,254 - Too fast. 285 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,757 Where is the rhythm? 286 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,359 Again. - I started bartending-- 287 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,526 - Again. - I started bartending-- 288 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,527 - Again! - I started bartending here-- 289 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,496 - Again! Higher. 290 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,864 - I started bartending-- - Lower. 291 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,232 - I started bartending-- - Lower. 292 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,266 - I started bartending here-- - Physically lower. 293 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,173 - Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah? 294 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,243 Bah bah bah. 295 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,277 Bah bah. 296 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,781 [laughing] 297 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,049 Hilarious. 298 00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,119 - What's with the code? 299 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,854 You worried about somebody stealing your material? 300 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,022 - Oh, of course not. 301 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,456 We're all family here. 302 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,125 - Hi, guys. 303 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,397 I don't need to see your "jokes." 304 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,565 I've been working with Bobbie on her delivery, 305 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,300 and she's got this in the bag. 306 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,269 - Oh, no, I forgot all the times 307 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,438 Bobbie told stories so uproarious, 308 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,939 we laughed till we cried. 309 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:23,376 Oh, wait, that never happened. 310 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,944 - Have you forgotten that you're dealing 311 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,446 with a psychology major? 312 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,082 I know that confident facade is covering the fact 313 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,851 that you're actually shaking in your boots. 314 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,820 - I don't wear boots. 315 00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:35,288 They're germ buckets. 316 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:41,361 Let's put a little wager on who's going to win this. 317 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,363 - Brilliant idea. 318 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,498 You should have to put your money where your mouth is. 319 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,233 - Great. What's the bet? 320 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,035 - That's it. 321 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,105 If Bobbie wins, you have to put your money 322 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,541 where your mouth is 323 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,843 and kiss a dollar bill. 324 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,179 [trilling] 325 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,947 Mwah. 326 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,517 - I'll take that bet. 327 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,953 'Cause the only thing my confidence is covering 328 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,621 is more confidence. 329 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,123 - Mm-hmm. 330 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:13,460 Professor Reese would call that deflecting. 331 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,062 - I'm afraid to ask, but what if Gabby wins? 332 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,432 - When Gabby wins, Isabella cannot mention 333 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,401 having gone to college 334 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:25,505 for a whole entire day. 335 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,508 - You two are out for blood. 336 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,077 - Game on! 337 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,278 - Yeah, you're running. 338 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,948 You're running because you're scared. 339 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,550 - I'm not the first person to run when you were behind them. 340 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,419 - Oh, hilarious. 341 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,920 - Enough! 342 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,922 This competition is tearing us apart. 343 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,391 - I agree. 344 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,493 And it's her fault. 345 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,561 You know, when you point your finger at somebody, 346 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:52,499 you have three fingers pointing back at you. 347 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,600 - Oh, wow, she's right. 348 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,335 Look at that, huh. 349 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,038 - In the spirit of Happy's Place, can't one of you 350 00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,673 just step aside for the other one? 351 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:02,542 - Aw, that's a lovely suggestion. 352 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,576 How about it, Gabby? 353 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:07,013 Are you ready to step aside? 354 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,582 - Oh, Bobbie, you know that normally 355 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,152 I would do anything for you. 356 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:16,690 But the truth is, there's a lot of things I can't do. 357 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,491 Parallel park. 358 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:23,697 Anything tennis. 359 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:27,367 But every night, I stay up and I watch those late night 360 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,003 TV hosts, and I whisper to myself-- 361 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:33,473 [whispering] Gabby, you could do that. 362 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:39,212 And if I could do that here, well, I mean, 363 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:43,516 it would just validate my entire existence. 364 00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,420 - Bobbie, I guess it's up to you. 365 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,189 - Oh, Gabby. 366 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:53,560 I have to say, no. 367 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:58,531 Look, this night always belonged to-- 368 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,501 our daddy. 369 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,037 Isabella never got to see him shine. 370 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,373 But maybe, just maybe, through me, 371 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:10,577 she'll be able to get a glimpse of his light. 372 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:13,513 - Daddy, is that you? 373 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,281 - Oh, come on. 374 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:21,755 - This is gonna be an impossible decision. 375 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,423 - No. 376 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,557 No, it's not. 377 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,093 You can't win a comedy competition with a sob story. 378 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,129 - I guess it comes down to, would you rather 379 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,432 see me kiss a dollar or have an entire day 380 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:37,170 where Isabella doesn't remind us she's a psychology major? 381 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:45,745 [upbeat music] 382 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,351 - Don't you think we should be clear-headed for this? 383 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,087 - I asked myself that same question. 384 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:58,158 I answered it about five beers ago. 385 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:01,695 - I don't feel comfortable judging others. 386 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,064 Didn't one of your great teachers say, "Judge not, 387 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,432 lest ye be judged"? 388 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,766 - Yeah. 389 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,070 He's got a lot of stuff. 390 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,439 We use it as we need it. 391 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,074 Let's get this show on the road. 392 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,742 Gabby, you're up! 393 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,277 - OK, this is it. 394 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,712 I can do this. - Mm-hmm. 395 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:19,779 - You believe in me, right? 396 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,381 - Here's what I believe. 397 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,583 I believe this moment defines who you are, 398 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,753 and you must conquer it, or it will conquer you. 399 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,455 I believe you got one chance, 400 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:32,726 one shot to prove you are not garbage. 401 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,229 - Holy crap. 402 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,764 Is that from an Eminem song? 403 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:41,768 - That's how my father dropped me off at elementary school. 404 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,703 - Oh, my God. 405 00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:46,306 Your dad is my mom. 406 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,141 - That's why I decided to help you. 407 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,509 Duh. 408 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:50,377 - [mouthing] 409 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,645 - This whole thing just makes me sad. 410 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,547 I'm sorry, Emmett. 411 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,716 I won't choose between my friends. 412 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:03,156 - Speaking of choosing friends, I pick Tall Kathy, huh? 413 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,624 Ever since Short Kathy got divorced, 414 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,793 not fun, am I right? 415 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,362 - Uh-oh, she's good. 416 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,764 - What are you talking about? 417 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,332 Emmett hasn't laughed once. 418 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,700 - Didn't you hear him go "pft"? 419 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:17,170 That's Emmett's version of rolling in the aisle. 420 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,674 - We're not concerned with what Gabby is doing, OK? 421 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,276 Our only focus is what you'll be doing. 422 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,678 - Oh, dang it! 423 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,146 He did another "pft." 424 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,580 She's killing it up there. 425 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,683 - Bobbie, Bobbie, listen to me. 426 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:30,717 - Yeah? 427 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,585 - You're ready for this, OK? 428 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,721 You just have to remember the two things we went over 429 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:37,357 again and again and again because they make 430 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,692 the whole presentation work-- 431 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:43,496 emotional journey mapping and tempo variability. 432 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,832 - This might be a little late to tell you this, 433 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:49,235 but I don't know what that means. 434 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,503 - Bobbie! 435 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,471 You're up! 436 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,473 - OK. - Crap. 437 00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,315 - You know, that was a pretty cheap laugh, 438 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,317 pretending you couldn't even remember 439 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,619 the name of the tavern. 440 00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:08,588 - I wasn't going for a cheap laugh. 441 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,723 I froze. 442 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,191 I actually couldn't remember the name 443 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,158 of the place for a second. 444 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,193 - Oh, sure. 445 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,462 - [sighs] Seriously. 446 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,297 What's really bad, it's-- 447 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:21,334 happens to be the same name as my daddy. 448 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,869 - You might have to teach me that little trick. 449 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,538 I would love to forget the name of my mom. 450 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:26,840 - Pft! 451 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,609 - Well, if we're talking about cheap laughs, 452 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:34,314 your nicknames for the staff bit was low-hanging fruit. 453 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,615 - What are you mad about? 454 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,917 I didn't make one up for you. 455 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,619 - What about "Red Thunder"? 456 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:40,954 That's what you call me around here sometimes, right? 457 00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:43,223 - Pft. 458 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,358 - Not to your face. 459 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,962 - Actually, I don't mind that one. 460 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:53,800 When Daddy'd get mad at me, he used to call me "Crimson Turd." 461 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,769 - Pft. 462 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,538 - OK, what could possibly be taking so long? 463 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,907 Gabby clearly won this, hands down. 464 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,242 - Oh, please. 465 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,244 Insult humor is so easy. 466 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,645 Where'd you get that sweater, 467 00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:08,648 Really Old Navy? 468 00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:12,252 - Hey, uh, could you both do me a really big favor? 469 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:13,653 - Sure. - Of course. 470 00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:16,690 - Shut up. 471 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,658 OK, I'm ready. 472 00:19:18,692 --> 00:19:20,627 [grunts] 473 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,397 [sighs] This is what I think. 474 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,933 Gabby, you are damn funny. 475 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,935 - Yeah! - Yes! 476 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:33,606 You are now an alumni of Who Gives a Crap University. 477 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,943 - Thank you, Emmett. 478 00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:40,647 Um, but, you know, 479 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,383 Bobbie was kind of funny, too. 480 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,285 - Yes, she was. 481 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,953 As a matter of fact, she was great. 482 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,788 - Yes! Ha-ha! 483 00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:51,858 Have fun making out with George Washington. 484 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,662 - Hang on, Emmett. 485 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,629 I don't think I was funnier than her. 486 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,631 - You weren't. - Oh. 487 00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,969 - Or vice versa. 488 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:04,604 - See? 489 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:07,874 This is why you should have stopped at three beers. 490 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,877 - No matter how funny you two are, you're funnier together. 491 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,345 - Hm. 492 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,613 - When I look out from the kitchen 493 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,382 and you two are behind the bar, 494 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:19,586 all I see are regular customers laughing. 495 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,955 - I guess we do get them going pretty good. 496 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,691 - And I don't freeze when I'm with you 'cause I know 497 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,593 you can make anything funny. 498 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,862 - Right back at you, Red Thunder. 499 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:29,629 - [chuckles] 500 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:33,600 You're the best, Blonde Buzzard. 501 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:39,739 - So my choice for this year's emcee 502 00:20:39,773 --> 00:20:43,043 would be... 503 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,611 both of you. 504 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:48,048 - Ugh, boo-hoo. - Lame. 505 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,850 - Aw, I like that. 506 00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:52,485 What do you think, Gabby? 507 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:54,821 - What do I think? - Yeah. 508 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,656 - I think your dad would be thrilled 509 00:20:56,690 --> 00:21:00,427 that it takes two funny people to fill his shoes. 510 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,395 - Oh. 511 00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:06,833 - OK. 512 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:10,036 But Steve still has to kiss the dollar bill, right? 513 00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:13,807 - You know what you can kiss? 514 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:18,378 - You are indeed a wise judge, my friend. 515 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,846 Even with a buzz on. 516 00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,948 - [laughs] 517 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,017 all: Zing! 518 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,785 - Pft! 519 00:21:25,819 --> 00:21:28,488 [laughter] 520 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:33,088 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35995

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