Original subtitles

Prices so low they give you goosebumps.

Honk, honk!

Guys, attention please!

Today's a big day for our newest employees!

Maddie and Lena have finished the training

and can now work at checkouts!

Finally they trust us enough to let us touch the money!

A round of applause!

Wait, I only have two shift at checkout this week?

Something wrong? Everyone would like better paying shifts.

Yeah, sure, I was just hoping... My rent went up and...

Everybody's rent went up, yes?

You'd like more shifts at the checkout?

At whose expense?

To be honest I haven't been on vacation yet.

This year?

Ever.

Lubow! It's about time!

I can recommend you some cool places.

If you like nature then the Grand Canyon. Or the Yellowstone Park.

And if you like more of a historical tour - definitely Philadelphia.

- That's where the cream cheese is from? - No, that's where Freemasonry's from.

No! That's where the Declaration of Independence was signed.

I was thinking more of a lake in the countryside.

Goose.

Focus.

Green, pin code, green. Remember to ask if client want a copy and that's it.

- Do they want it? - Never.

Maddie, you're here for half of the day, then Lena...

Just a sec.

Fuck! Intel from headquarters.

- Mysterious customer comes today. - That's fun!

- You don't know what's going on. - I don't.

It's an inspection from Goose headquarters.

- A dude... or dudette... - They can be non-binary.

This person pretends to be a customer but in reality

they check if everything works in accordance with the rules.

- And they try to steal something. - Why?

Think! They control how the store reacts.

If something's wrong - everybody loses their bonuses.

Let me read the cards.

Oh, I see financial struggles.

Reduction system with Five of Cups and Five of Pentacles.

Not good.

Strenght and Fortune covered by Death.

This ain't your day, girl.

Everyone can lose their bonuses because of me?

Yeah, you, everyone else know what they're doing.

Fuck! Wlodek.

Team meeting!

Listen up.

Mysterious customer comes today.

- Oh God! Does Wlodek know yet? - No!

And we have to do everything to prevent him from finding out.

We know what he can fucking do during an inspection.

What?

Last time he carried a revolver and pointed it at anyone who seemed suspicious.

He can't accept the fact he's not enirely the boss of himself.

I got him. You stay sharp.

Layout, facing, sales according to the leaflet.

At checkout check what they weight.

And if they're not hiding anything behind high-volume.

- What? - Big items, like value pack of water.

Or furniture.

- We don't sell furniture. - It's just an example.

Shut it! Last thing. Give me your phones.

- Why? - Regulations.

I have to keep my phone.

- In case of an emergency or danger... - Alright!

Back to work. You stay!

Go watch Wlodek so he doesn't leave the office.

And if he wants to?

Then you have to stop him. You're not gonna stop him

when he doesn't want to leave the office, right?

- But forcefully? - No, not forcefully.

- Or... Okay, do it any way possible. - But...

Since when do we keep things so tidy?

We just had a meeting and I'm sure you were there!

You know, I'm advanced at it.

I can help you with anything. I know the laws of this jungle.

I've been here since the beggining and I have never worked hard for a single day.

Stay close to me and you'll be alright, babygirl.

First of all, I'm not babygirl. Second of all, I don't need your crappy advice, Kid.

What if I told you there are people who are controlling our lives?

Not directly but you know...

Listen, if you mention reptilians one more time I'll bite through my neck, I swear.

There was a Katy here. And she was fired after the mysterious customer's inspection.

Fired?

So? Beer after work?

I'll tell about some stuff...

And the, who knows? I have a mattress at my place. 140 centimeters.

Wide. Not in lenght.

It'd be too short.

Jesus, no.

Look! Gummy crocodiles for 6,66.

Gummy crocodiles for 6,66.

This can't be.

Dominika, do you know what they value the most in America?

I don't know. Biliard of dollars?

Freedom.

I just took it from our employees.

Their phones.

Why did you take them?

They've been... distracted lately.

What do you mean? They're the best team ever!

Yeah, they're great.

But even the best of teams have ups and downs and...

And they need someone to light their spark. Some motivational speaker.

- You think do? - Yes, but I don't know who could do that.

They are usually very expensive. But if we had someone...

Someone who knows inspirational quotes...

I'm here!

Oh, yeah. But I bet you're too busy...

I'm not busy at all. It's so quiet today. I'm starting right now.

Hey! Don't rush it.

It's better to inspire them tomorrow than to come unprepared today.

- Goose has been infiltrated. - What?

They're not even hiding it.

Crocodiles?

People, reptiles. And a number of the beast. 666.

They're communicating through symbols and laughing in our faces.

And minions are buying those gummies...

and swollowing anything without a thought in their head.

- Gummies make you stupid? - That's not the point.

That's how the New World Order begins.

Right, right.

I didn't know that. It must've started when I was still in prison.

No way. It goes back at least to the 18th century.

Edyta, do you have internet access on your phone? Can I have it for a sec?

They took our phones.

That's right. Of course.

You see how they conrol us?

We can't even look up something so basic.

How can we tell the difference between fake news and the truth?

You need something, boss?

I just wanted to walk around the store and talk to my employees.

- You can't talk to them now. - Why?

Because... they're all sick.

Sick? That's awful. We can't do it by ourselves, we need to close the store.

No! I mean... they aren't physically sick.

They're depressed. Mentally ill.

- Depressed? So their lives depend on me? - Yes.

- So I have to work on my speech? - Yes!

Mysterious customer won't find you here.

Very funny. I'm looking for tuna.

I didn't mean to be funny.

During my first inspection I was stressed and wanted to hide.

Listen, Marek...

Kid told me about Katy who was fired because of the mysterious customer.

Is this true?

That was a series of unfortunate events.

Katy was inexperienced.

Mysterious customer was very ambitious.

They started to fight. And we had a staff shortage.

You're a numerological seven. The most unlucky number.

Sevens easily get in debt, have relationships issues and lose their job.

What about that handsome thing? Maybe reading for two?

- I have some informations you... - I don't want to hear it!

But... don't worry.

You're not like Katy. You're smart.

Besides, mysterious customer acts suspicious. You'll recognize them.

Thanks.

Fuck.

Where you going? You we're supossed to watch Wlodek.

But... I can't be a screw. My cellmates would never forgive me.

- Kazik, fuck! - What?

You're not a screw and we're not in a fricking prison!

I know how it feels to be locked up!

Do you want him to try to lasso people again?

I mean... no.

But Lobow is up there. She's better at it than I am.

We'll see.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Success is the sum of small efforts repeated every...

Success is the sum of small efforts repeated every d...

Lobow!

- You've been here all his time? - No!

I'm here...

To talk about vacation.

And ask you about that Philadelphia.

Oh! Wonderful. Come in.

I really recommend our peas.

Thank you, I'm just looking.

It's on sale right now, as you could read in the leaflet...

and it's so nicely arranged on the shelf. But primarily it's delicious.

I know your offer, thanks.

All Geese are similar.

What?

Oh, nothing. If you have any questions, go ahead!

Lena requested at checkout #2

That's me. I have to go.

We always obey orders here. Always.

And how grand is the Grand Canyon?

It's gigantic.

Lubow...

I need to go check the store.

You know how it goes: The master's eye makes the horse fat.

Yes, yes... But one more time:

When I go to the Disneyland I should go on Wednesday before noon, right?

Right! I told you everything already!

I am so unmotivated!

Completely! I don't feel like doing anything.

Lubow...

Depression is a serious thing.

You're lucky I can help you.

Listen.

Success is the sum of small efforts repeated every day.

Domi, can you help me with the scratch card?

Click here, chance bets, 0009, enter.

Okay.

Alright. Your turn.

Lena, you'll love it. Checkout is great.

But I can't feel my right cheek.

You!

Maddie didn't have an inspection. So watch out. Can you do it?

Sure I can.

Don't be so sure of yourself.

- I know who the mysterious customer is. - You don't say.

Be careful then, so they don't get our bonuses. I always say: you'll see more

with your eyes open.

Hello!

ONION

Thank you and see you again.

Oh! Come here, please.

We meet again.

Yes, pea lady.

Spicy ketchup. Bold choice.

I'm in a hurry.

- I get it. Lots of stores... - Excuse me?

- Between you and me, how are we doing? - What do you mean?

Well, from headquarters perpective...

Not good to be honest.

Water! Water, water, water.

- Got it! I found it. We can finish this whole thing.

What?

Cheese.

Oh, yes, cheese. I forgot to put it out.

Cheese. Behind high-volume.

- You can stop pretending. - Pretending? That I want to steal cheese?

I know your tricks.

Girl, you don't know who you're talking to.

I do! I know who you are.

- Howdy! - Oh, hi!

- Who are you working with? - Great people!

I have to go, but I'm glad you two met.

- I texted and called you! - They took our phones!

This cheese is delicious.

It will go well with the ketchup.

I know.

By card.

I don't care what you can gain, I care what you feel when you're defeated.

Andre Agassi. Come on!

What a great quote.

I can live with losing, I can't live without trying again. Michael Jordan!

I feel motivated.

There will always be obstacles in life, you have tell yourself...

I've had enough!

Who said this one?

I did. Wlodek.

- Goodbye. - You, too! I mean... cheers.

You, too.

Oh, Lena. "You, too"?

To embarass yourself in front of Marek's girlfriend...

I'm scared to read your cards, the day isn't over yet.

Pathetic.

Is it always this chaotic here or only today?

Weird onion, don't you think?

So colorful.

Just look at it.

Have you seen an onion like that before?

You want me to lower the price 'cause the onion looks weird?

No. I don't.

Well...

That'll be 54,72. By card?

Can I get a copy?

No one ever wants it.

Well, I tried.

Hello.

Unfortunately, it isn't good.

I'll mail you the report.

Of course. I can assure you that all procedures were...

Dominika, I'm very sorry, I've had enough with these phones.

How can I help you?

Kajetan Marcicki form headquarters.

I conducted an inspection as a mysterious customer.

- So you're a scamming customer. - Mysterious customer.

You're violating my civil liberties.

It's in accordance with the franchise contract.

You say potato, I say tomato. And what you're gonna do?

What have I done?

128, 42. By card?

As long as you didn't break the law they can't do anything.

Everyone will lose the bonus because of me.

Don't you worry, I hid all the gummy crocodiles.

Thanks for the tip.

They're pointing at me.

They're pointing at me. They will fire me, I'm sure they will!

It's gonna be alright.

We wanted to go to the sea.

I already bought my kid a bike.

Here you go, Mister Mysterious Customer.

As they say, the stage is yours.

Dear all...

Problems I've encountered here are unprecedented.

Broken glass on the floor.

Tuna on the shelf with mirrors.

And, according to the leaflet, gummy crocodiles should be on sale.

But they're nowhere to be found!

And about the cashier...

I was informed it was your first day after the training,

so there will be no consequences.

Just try to be more mindful in the future.

To mistake an apple with an onion...

What about the bonus?

You'll get your bonuses.

We will increase the frequency of inspections.

We'll come once a month.

St. Cyril, we will have to take care of Wlodek...

Wlodek! Maybe it's time for you speech?

Great idea.

Lena is here to listen.

All of them...

They're losing the best 45 minutes of their lives.

Success is the sum of small efforts repeated every day.