Original subtitles

[upbeat saxophone music]

- How are we supposed to move this thing?

Do we grab it by the headlights?

Or the bumper?

- Don't ask me.

I've never picked up a woman before.

- What are you tontos doing,

waiting for her to make the first move?

You just put your hands on-

- Mm?

- No.

All right, you just grab on to-

yeah.

OK. [clears throat] Here we go.

[grunts] I got you, baby.

- Looking good, George.

[laughter]

- I wasn't gonna say it.

- Boys, boys, please.

? Ba-boom, ba, ba-boom, ba ?

? Ba-boom, ba ? [keys jingle]

? Ba-ba-boom, ba, ba-boom, ba ?

Ah, ah, yeah.

Is that a security camera right there?

Hey.

- It was a security camera.

That's why the client, Karina, fired us

and posted a bad review.

- It's the first thing on Yelp.

Two people called this morning to cancel upcoming moves.

- I just posted a response.

"No one is above the Lop-EZ code of conduct,

"not even Mr. Lop-EZ himself.

He's been suspended and will undergo sensitivity training."

- What does that mean?

- You hide for a week until we're not embarrassed of you.

- What?

- Well, less embarrassed of you.

Just hide for a week.

[upbeat saxophone music]

? ?

[metallic rattle]

[metallic rattle]

- Ha!

- Are we writing on walls now?

Because if so, this opens up

a whole new world of possibilities.

- No, I'm trying to track down the rattle

coming from the pipes.

- Once you track it down, what are you gonna do?

- I haven't gotten that far yet.

[metallic rattle]

[chuckles]

- I hope whatever he has isn't genetic.

- I'm here, and I'm pissed.

It's hard enough getting over Josu�

without seeing his cheating face

plastered on my windshield.

- Mom, did you hit him with your car?

- No.

I found this flyer under my wiper.

- Oh.

Well, I got some news that'll make you feel better.

I called the client with the statue Dad tried to...

[whistles]

- No, it's more like... [whistles airily]

- She said that she would give us a second chance,

and if we do a good job, she'll remove her bad review.

- Oh, that's great news, but my schedule is packed.

I'm gonna have to move some stuff around

so that I can be there to supervise.

- No need. I can manage the job.

- [laughs]

- Why are you laughing?

- Because you made a joke.

- No, I didn't.

- [laughs]

Stop.

[laughs]

Oh.

Well, you don't have enough experience to manage.

Every time you do a move, your dad is there.

- I've been at the company five months-

six if you count next month.

And without a promotion, how am I ever going

to afford a second child?

- Second child?

- Mm-hmm.

Especially a girl child.

- A girl child?

- Mm-hmm.

- I've given this some thought.

Mayan, why don't you take the reins on this one?

- If you insist.

[upbeat saxophone music]

? ?

- Thanks for agreeing to help me fix the rattle in the wall

and for letting me walk next to you

instead of five feet behind you.

- [chuckles]

Mayan and Rosie won't let me work, so it's either you

or back to the bottle.

- I mean, you could go to an AA meeting.

- Damn it, why didn't I think of that?

- Should we be shopping in this expensive store?

- We're not shopping. We're looking.

What, you never go to the butcher shop

and stare at steaks you can't afford?

- No, because I'm not a cartoon dog.

- Mm.

Oh.

- $80? It's just a wrench.

- Au contraire, mon square.

This is hand-forged by Buddhist monks

from the finest Japanese steel in the shadow of Mount Fuji.

My wrench went missing.

I wish I could replace it with a beaut like this.

- Can I help you find something?

Perhaps the door?

- I'm interested in this wrench.

- I don't think we have anything for you.

You're obviously in the wrong place.

Perhaps you should try OSH.

- Perhaps you should kiss my butt.

- That would have been a lot more clever

if you'd said kiss my OSH.

- Or kiss my ACE.

- [laughs] - Right?

- Damn it!

? ?

Sobriety is tough enough, but I'm so desperate

to distract myself from drinking

that I have agreed to spend time...

with Quinten.

- All right, everyone, 2:00, time for the next meeting.

So out, please.

[gasps] - No way!

Josu�.

? ?

[upbeat saxophone music]

- Josu�, you scumbag.

What are you doing here?

- Same reason as you.

- To stuff your pockets with doughnuts?

- No, I'm in a 12-step program-

Sex Addicts Anonymous.

- You mean everybody that's in here is addicted to...

[whistles airily]

I didn't know you were an addict.

I thought you were just a jerk.

- I'm on step nine, making amends.

So I'm sorry for everything

I put your family through, George.

And I would like to make amends to Rosie,

when she's ready to hear them.

- Mm.

Took ten years before she was ready to forgive me,

so I can relate.

I mean-I mean, you're still a jerk,

but I'm glad that you're getting some help.

- Yeah, me too.

Other than these meetings, I don't leave my house

because I'm afraid if I do,

some woman will throw herself at me.

- I can relate to that too.

- A client even gave me tickets to the Lakers,

but I'm afraid if I go,

I'll end up in bed with a Laker Girl-again.

- These are courtside seats.

- Uh, I don't suppose you would consider going with me?

- I-I don't think I can do that.

- Well, think of it as one addict

helping another one stay clean.

- I could do that. - Oh.

- One game and never again after that.

- Mm.

- Because us hanging out would be...

un esc�ndalo.

? ?

- Thank you for giving Lop-EZ a second chance.

We will handle your stuff with care.

And consent.

- Great, but where's your horny crew of perverts?

- Well, the main pervert has been suspended,

and the others are-

- Late?

- No, no.

They're just finishing up their harassment seminar,

Say Nope to Grope.

Oscar, Momo, where the hell are you guys?

- They're not coming.

- Mom, what are you doing here?

What do you mean they're not coming?

- I noticed you paid them last night.

- I don't jerk them around

and wait till Monday like Dad does.

- Your father doesn't jerk them around.

OK, he does.

But he also holds on to their checks on purpose.

If they get their money Friday night,

they use it to get drunk.

- Oh, when Oscar wasn't asleep in the truck this morning,

I just assumed he got up early to shower.

- OK. Well, don't worry.

Till Oscar and Momo recover from their hangovers,

you've got me.

- OK, I will accept your help on one condition-

I'm in charge.

- Absolutely.

I am not here as a manager.

I'm here as a mover.

- Oh!

Oop.

Mom, are you OK?

- No, I haven't worn flats since I was four.

Oh!

? ?

- I think we finally got that rattle under control.

[metallic rattle]

No!

- Isn't Grandpa supposed to be working on this with you?

- No, he decided it would be a good test of my self-reliance

to work on this myself.

- He ghosted you?

- No.

Grandpa's just challenging me to do this myself

because he doesn't think that I can handle "man stuff."

[metallic rattle]

But I'll show him.

[metallic rattle]

[hammer thudding]

[sputtering]

Ah! Por qu�?

Ah!

? ?

- I had a great time last night.

- Me too. - [laughs]

- I shook LeBron's giant hand.

I haven't washed my hand since.

Ah. Doughnut?

- I'm good. - Ah.

- I mean, the game was great, but the best part was,

I didn't go home with a beautiful woman.

- And in an act of solidarity, neither did I.

- Thank you.

George, I know the game was supposed to be

a one-time thing, but...

well, I would like to see you again.

- Whoa, I mean, as much as I would like to,

it would hurt Rosie.

And we both already hurt her enough.

- I understand.

I guess I'll just have to cancel

the week I had planned, yeah.

Dinner at a Michelin-star hot dog restaurant,

a swimsuit fashion show,

and the premiere of "Fast and Furious 15:

Slightly Faster."

- Are you trying to seduce me with weenies,

bikinis, and Lamborghinis?

This is like "Pretty Woman."

- No.

Julia Roberts' hair has nothing on yours.

- Oh!

- Oh, and as a thank-you for last night...

- Uh-huh. - I got you a little something.

[box creaks open] - [gasps]

The fancy Japanese monk wrench.

[giggles]

But I can't.

I mean, clearly you're trying to buy my companionship.

- I mean, maybe so, but I'm at the beginning

of my recovery, and I need you, George.

Because of my addiction, I never really made

any male friends.

- I mean, it is nice to spend time

with someone who knows what it's like to be in recovery.

- Hmm.

- [sighs]

OK.

One week, you handsome bastard.

But my family can't find out, because if they did,

that would be- - I know-an esc�ndalo.

- Wow, you do that really good. - Oh.

- Esc�ndalo! - Oh!

? ?

[upbeat saxophone music]

- See, I told you I was here to help,

not micromanage everything.

- You told me I was chewing my lunch wrong.

- That's not work-related.

- Well, I really appreciate your help.

And look, with my management, we got everything packed up.

- Uh, there's one more thing we still have to move.

- Yeah.

And because I know what I'm doing,

we'll use the hand truck.

- [grunts] - Ooh.

OK, um, try shimmying the hips back and forth.

- Well, I don't see how that's gonna help, but...

- The statue, Shakira.

- I know.

You want to manage something,

try managing to have a sense of humor.

- Oh.

Everything is packed up and out of here,

just as promised.

- No, you promised to have everything done by 4:00.

It's 5:30.

I don't know if you know math,

but that's, like, three hours late.

- Oh, don't worry. No charge for the extra time.

- [sighs]

- Wait, what are you doing?

- Writing another review.

"Lop-EZ Movers have failed again."

- We completed your move, so now it is time-

- Mom, I got this.

I'm sorry you weren't completely satisfied.

How about 20% off?

- How about 100% off, or I put you out of business?

- Mommy?

- I'm right here, baby.

How about 0% off, you scam artist?

- Heh-heh. She didn't mean scam artist.

She meant talented artist who clearly loves the female form.

Sculpt on, sister.

- I looked you up, and all you do is write

bad reviews to get free stuff.

Well, that scam is not going to work on us.

Lop-EZ movers was founded by a trailblazer

who was scamming long before you were born.

Pay us in full, or I'm going to go online

and post a low-angle, bad-lighting picture of you.

- [scoffs] OK, you're, like, never gonna find that.

[camera clicks] Oh!

OK, so, like, you can't post that.

- Oh, we can.

- Without the Paris filter.

- [gasps]

- Then we are going to unload the truck

and put all your junk and that hoochie statue

out on the curb where she belongs.

- That is a sculpture of me.

- I said what I said.

- Fine, I'll get cash.

[upbeat music]

? ?

- ? Pretty Georgie ?

? Si fueras de m� ?

? Pretty Georgie ?

? Me har�as tan feliz ?

? Pretty Georgie ?

? Y que este sue�o que sent� ?

? Se me hicieria realidad ?

? Georgie ?

? Pretty Georgie ?

- Georgie, another hardware store?

We already shopped at five others.

- I'm just here to make a point.

Hi.

Do you remember me?

- Yes.

- I'll tell you who I am.

I was in here yesterday.

You work on commission, right?

- No, I'm on an hourly wage.

- Whatever.

We just went shopping at every hardware boutique in town-

The Wrench Connection, Screwy Vuitton, Le Tool.

- I don't care.

- Big mistake.

Big.

Huge.

- $200 for a hammer?

- Do you mind?

I'm having my "Pretty Woman" moment.

- George? - Quinten.

- Josu�?

[gasps] Esc�ndalo!

[upbeat saxophone music]

- Quinten, what are you doing here?

- I couldn't get anybody at Home Depot

to make eye contact with me.

What are you doing here with him?

- It's not what it looks like.

I'm only with George because I'm addicted to sex.

And I'm gonna go now.

- So you blew me off to sneak around with Josu�?

- We weren't sneaking around.

We were driving around in his Maserati.

And now I need a ride home in your stupid Prius.

- George, this is serious.

Why are you hanging out with that son of a mother?

- Language!

We're in the Ball & Peen.

We met at a 12-step program.

- Mayan and Rosie are gonna be furious

when they find out you've been spending time with him.

- The last thing I want to do is to hurt them,

but Josu� has no one.

I've been there,

and I know it feels impossible without a support system.

I just did this to help a fellow addict.

- What are all these bags?

- That's not important.

What's important is that you don't tell Mayan and Rosie.

- I-I'm gonna have to think about that.

I always tell Mayan everything.

- Well, you're about to get married,

so you better get over that real quick.

? ?

- You're OK. You're OK.

- My feet are killing me.

[grunts]

Whew, that's so much better.

- Thank you for your help today, Mom.

I didn't even think to look up Karina's other reviews.

[sighs] I guess I don't know

as much about running a business as I thought.

- Oh, I get it.

When I started my insurance company,

I didn't have any help,

so I had to learn from my mistakes.

- You made mistakes?

- I know it sounds crazy, but yeah.

- [chuckles]

- But you have your father, and you have me.

Keep learning from us, and one day

when you take over the company,

you're going to be an incredible manager.

- You think I can take over the company someday?

- I don't think. I know.

I mean, you're the one that got the client

to give us a second chance.

I mean, sure, she was scamming you,

but baby steps.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Aw.

And in the meantime, you can work on your chewing

to make it less horsey.

[dull thumping]

[hammer banging]

- Hey, did you find the source of the rattle-oh, my God!

- No, but I must be getting close.

There's not much wall left. - Yeah.

- I am sorry.

I really screwed this up.

- Hey, it's not your fault.

My dad was supposed to be here helping you.

Do you know where he was all day?

- Well, it's, um-

[chuckles awkwardly] Funny story.

There were- [door clicks open]

- Hi.

Why are you guys together?

You're not talking, are you?

- Yes, we are.

And I can't believe that you turned your back

on this family, and look at all the damage you caused.

- You told her I was hanging out with Josu�?

- What?

- I didn't, but you just did.

- You were hanging out with Josu�?

[metallic rattle]

[metallic rattle]

- My old socket wrench!

- Churro was making the rattling sound all along?

- See? Everything worked out in the end.

[upbeat music] - ? Pretty Georgie ?

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