Original subtitles

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

[Lisa] Can you just hang on for one sec?

Dan, do you know where you're going?

[Dan] I don't, I think we might have passed it.

- I'm gonna pull over. - [Lisa] Okay.

Sorry about that.

So yeah, it's perfect.

Right, and not to put the pressure on,

but homes like this, they just don't come along every day.

- Right. - Oh my-- Are you--

- Oh my God! - And I understand, but--

[whispering] What the fuck?

This what you want?

Uh-huh, but luckily, I mean,

I have a great relationship with the sellers.

So if you're willing to come in.

Right, with the offer that we discussed

then I can make it happen.

Uh-huh, but I'm gonna need an answer today, yeah.

The kid, the kid, mention the kid. Throw the kid in.

Right. And you know what, little Bryce is gonna love the playground.

Honestly I don't think that you should wait

someone's gonna come in and grab it.

- That's-- that is fantastic news! - Yes!

Okay, great. Congratulations!

- God, I love you. - What!

- The closer. - What!

[hand slap]

- Alright. - So you like it that big?

Shh.

That is a monster purple dong.

It's like Barney up in your face.

Alright, let's find this cabin.

[upbeat music]

[Lisa] We have an entire dock.

Wow.

This place is something.

Wow.

Oh Dan, this is unbelievable.

Are you kidding me?

This is spectacular!

What-- is that a greenhouse?

Yup!

Whoa, there are more bags?

Yeah, just a few.

I can't believe how much stuff you bought,

you got enough for an army.

Teejay eats likes a pig.

Really? He doesn't strike me as the type.

You'd be surprised.

Seriously, you should see the guy eat hummus,

it's like an OPEC summit.

- [laughing] - And why shouldn't he?

Let's indulge!

We are on vacation Lis just look this at place, huh?

[Lisa] Pretty incredible.

You're incredible.

- Right? - [giggling]

Honestly, I am the luckiest man alive.

- [phone vibrating] - Oh sorry, hang on.

It's Teejay, they're ten minutes away.

What?

Ten minutes?

Are they early?

[clears throat]

[pensive music]

- [sighs] - [groans]

Oh!

[seductive music playing]

[doors closing]

[Teejay] Huh.

Well, there's no mistaking that car.

Oh yeah, he calls it his Rad-Mobile.

Sad.

Your designs looks really sick on it though.

Yeah.

Shit!

Look at this place.

It's so deck.

See what being the boss can get you?

- Let's do this. - Alright.

Oh, but first, let's do this.

[camera shutter]

- [laughs] - [camera shutter]

Okay, let's get our bags.

Alright.

Okay.

[clears throat]

[doorbell rings]

- [whispering] Ready? - Okay.

Hey!

Ah!

There he is! My main man, TeeJay!

- Mr. Rad Ass, himself! - Hi! How are you?

Oh, that's so thoughtful, come on in.

Here, let me take that for you.

C'mon, you didn't have to do that.

- Namaste. - Oh, Namaste to you too.

- Drop your stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, wherever.

You can drop it anywhere.

So awesome for you guys to invite us.

This place is like amaze balls, it's totally zen, right?

Mhmm.

What's the WiFi code?

Oh, uhh, I think-I think it's just "the lake house", right?

And don't be silly, we're so happy that you're here.

Thank you for coming.

This place is great!

How'd you guys find it?

Oh, you know, it's such a funny story.

Teejay, let me show you this.

So I have a client, and he's out of town.

Here, come take a look at this.

Wow!

Skai, you look-- It is so good to see you.

I just, I can't even remember the last time

we would've seen the both of you together.

Yeah, I-- I don't know.

Umm, maybe it was the ski hill, last winter

that charity race event the company was sponsoring?

Oh no, of course, yeah, the ski hill!

Wow, you must have been wearing like a giant parka

or something, 'cause I think I would have remembered that.

You're so cute.

Yeah, it was eons ago, I wasn't even engaged yet.

Eng--

- What? - [laughs]

Hello, Teejay!

- Wow, that is-- - What?

Oh right, the ring.

Yeah what can I say, my fiance has remarkable taste.

That is exactly why I hired him!

Oh, it's beautiful. Congratulations, I mean that's--

It's huge.

Yeah, I can't believe you didn't tell me.

You dirty dog. Keeping secrets.

Well I was, I was gonna tell you but we decided--

No, we were keeping it on the sly,

until Mercury emerged from retrograde.

- Which happened last Thursday. - Retrograde.

- Right! - You guys know about that, right?

- Yeah! - Well, that makes sense.

Yeah, why, why--

I'm sure we'll get those details as we get through the weekend.

- Anyway-- - Of course!

Lis, maybe you should show Skai their room.

- Definitely. - You, engaged guy, come with me.

We're gonna celebrate with a cold one.

- Alright. - Let's go!

- Yeah, you can go, it's okay. - Okay, cool.

Great! Okay, so while the guys are doing their thing,

maybe I could give you a tour.

There's a beautiful rooftop garden

I think that you'll love--

Actually Lisa, if you don't mind

I'd love to get into my suit, that pool's murder!

Oh yeah, of course, it's quite...

homicidal.

[intriguing music]

It's like this beer you're gonna love:

Brooklyn El Chupacabra.

Worst thing about the boathouse was the lack of a boat.

Well, you know, we got the sea-doos.

[seductive music]

Dan?

Dan.

Dan?

What?

Did you, did you, find the water equipment?

Oh, no-- No, yes.

The pool's calling me.

- [scream] - [splash]

[Teejay] Woo!

[jazz music]

[Skai] I just love seeing a strong woman in action.

How do you do it all, Lisa?

You're an awesome wife and mother,

you have a successful business

and you're a gourmet cook?

Oh, what can I say.

Here, lemme give you a hand with that.

Thanks, Teejay.

Okay, dinner's served.

[doorbell ringing]

Shit! I'll get that, excuse me.

Whoa.

That's so weird. Who could that be?

Dan? Excuse me.

- Hey guys! - Hi!

You made it! Come on in!

I'm sorry about that.

- Oh hi? - Hi, I'm comin', I'm comin'.

- Wow. - Geoff and Fiona!

Hi Lisa, sorry we're late.

We had, we had a bit of a discrepancy with the directions.

It was a directions problem.

Yeah, my singing buggers up our navigation apparently.

Oh, great.

Yeah it does, I dunno, it's weird.

- How you doing? I'm Teejay. - Hey, nice to meet you.

- This is my fiancé, Skai. - Hi.

I have known this guy for 25 years, at least.

We've known-- too long.

It sounds so pleasant.

Why don't, you know,

why don't we just leave the bags here for now.

- Okay. - And umm--

- Are you alright? - Yeah!

- Oh my gosh, yes! - Can I talk to you?

So good to see you--

Yeah!

Um, come on in.

- Alright. - Yeah!

- I really like your bag. - Thanks!

- Designer? - Yeah, it is.

I need to talk to you.

Teejay, could you just grab them a glass of wine?

- Yeah, no problem. - And Dan, can I just--

Can I just see you in the bedroom for a second?

Sure, honey.

Why are they so surprised to see us?

I have no idea.

What the fuck is going on?

Relax, relax, relax. I can explain.

You invited them? This weekend?

I mean, have you lost your mind?

And you didn't tell me?

Shh, listen.

I had no choice.

Okay look, Geoffrey came to the office to hang out.

He overheard me talking to Teejay about the weekend.

He begged me, what was I supposed to say?

Oh, I don't know, Dan.

How about no?

His marriage is halfway out the door, okay, you know that.

He actually told me he thinks this might be his last chance

to fix things.

I've known the guy forever, hon, I mean, what--

I can't just tell to him to fuck off.

Okay but we are doing a good thing here, babe.

And we can totally make this work.

Are you kidding me?

This is still gonna be an amazing weekend.

Oh my god.

I think now's as good a time as any to propose a toast.

To our "everything plus" hosts and what will surely be

an unforgettable weekend for us all.

Yes! Cheers.

- Cheers. - Cheers to that.

Cheers.

Cheers.

And I would like to personally thank my beautiful, talented,

generous, and did I already mention gorgeous wife?

- You said that, you said that. - Did I? Oh I did?

Okay, well gorgeous wife, you really outdid yourself

planning this weekend, babe.

To Lisa.

[Fiona] Aww, that's sweet.

- Cheers, everyone. - Cheers.

Alright well listen, on that note, um-- cheers.

Umm, I guess that we should--

[clears throat]

Talk about the business at hand.

- [giggling] - What?

And look, I've never um, I've never done this before,

so I apologize, this is very new for us, um--

I did some research.

She's always so prepared.

Nice, I can barely find my panties in a pile of socks.

So umm, I'm gonna go through this.

But if you have anything to add at the end,

please don't hesitate.

I don't know what's going on.

[laughing]

I know, right?

- [squeal] - Drum roll, please.

In no particular order.

Here are the Best Practices and Rules for a Swingers Party.

Oh!

[Teejay] Here we go.

[Fiona] Oh my god.

You guys got me.

Alright, let's swing.

[laughing]

That's funny.

You pranked me.

That's good.

Is this a prank?

Ha-ha!

No--

[Teejay] Wait a minute, she doesn't--

You didn't-- you didn't know about this, did you?

Uh, Fiona. Did you know about this?

You do know what the--

I mean, the weekend's about.

No. I didn't.

[chuckles] I didn't.

- [Lisa] Dan? - Da--

Geoff?

Uhh Dan, I think Dan would be--

I think Dan should--

Can you put this in context for us a bit, buddy?

'Cause I think we're all a little confused.

Where to start?

Uh okay, you know, you know that Lisa and I

have been together since our early 20s.

And she is the absolute love of my life.

We have uh, the perfect family, we have the perfect marriage.

You know what Fiona, when Dan asked me what I wanted

for my birthday last year, I jokingly said,

"How about umm, a night with another person?"

So I said, hello! What about me?

The sex isn't perfect. I mean, it's great.

Obviously.

But I'm thinking, "Well shouldn't I then get to have sex

- with someone else too?" - Totally.

That's reasonable, that's a reasonable assumption.

And that's kinda how this whole thing--

Came about.

It's-it's fun and excitement.

- It's just-- - Did you know about this?

It's meaningless.

- It's totally meaningless. - Utterly meaningless.

- It's a meaningless weekend. - Did he know about this?

Well when Geoffrey asked to join--

[grunts]

It just kind of felt, why not?

Okay, okay, touche.

Okay.

Umm, can we-- can I have a private moment with you please?

A private moment? Can we go and just--

I can explain this.

I can explain, please.

My husband.

Excuse me.

Okay, this is not-- Guys, I'll be right back.

This is not-- Do no-- do not--

- Well played. - Thank you.

Very well played.

Fiona, would you please-- Would you please--

Would you just hear me out, please?

- What the fuck? - I didn't know--

- What the fuck? - I didn't know what else to do.

Oh my god, Geoffrey, what the fuck?

I thought maybe this would help you with your issues.

My issues? You f--

Honey, we haven't had sex in a year and a half!

Lower your fucking voice.

- One and a half years! - You lower your voice right now!

Lisa, you wouldn't happen to have any kombucha tea would you?

- Ever! - You thought that bringing me

to this fucking Swedish masturbatory

architectural shit hole was the way to improve our marriage?

Is that what you really thought?

It may not have been the best call, admittedly.

- I don't know. - Hey guys!

- Hi! - Mind if we join?

Everything okay out here?

Yes, everything is very good.

I don't want you to take this personally,

but we are going to leave

because I've fucked enough men to last me a lifetime.

- Except me, except me. - No, you should stay.

We were looking forward to getting to know you guys.

It's a beautiful house I don't know if you've noticed.

Spend the night, spend the night

and we'll noodle it through, noodle it through.

You're blowing it, right?

It's like t-- It's like a scud missile of smoke in my throat,

- so you're sabbotaging it. - I'm sorry.

We're gonna go. It's time.

Having a little patio party out here kids?

No, your friends are bailing.

What? Why?

Yeah, we're gonna go.

I mean he just surprised me with this so we're gonna go.

It's fine Fiona, you know what, you should

probably get going though before it gets too dark out, so--

No, no, no, no, you don't wanna,

you don't wanna drive back tonight

'cause it's dark out there.

No, the rental agent told me about this, like a week ago

the neighbors, the guy hit a moose or an elk or something.

Broke the car right off.

- Were they okay? - Broad daylight.

No, they weren't okay. They hit a moose!

We'll strap it to the car and make some jerky. Geoffrey--

I did see some bear spray in the cupboard.

Oh, this is bear country.

There are black bears here and wolverines come down.

Mr. Jeopardy.

This guy knows so much random shit, it's unbelievable.

- Where are the keys? - Thank you very much.

There's no bears in your car.

Are you actually okay behind the wheel?

You've had a lot to drink. Maybe Fiona should drive?

I don't drive at night. He drives at night.

That's the- that's the job.

I don't think he should be driving.

Well, no. We're all, we're all pretty drunk.

How many drinks have you had?

Well I haven't exactly kept a tally throughout the evening.

I just drank liberally at dinner, I don't know.

Isn't that-- isn't that what we agreed? When you're-- At nighttime--

Listen, why don't you guys just stay the night

and see how you feel in the morning?

- Stay the night. - We should stay the night.

You're a shithead.

Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, my wife.

My lovely wife.

My husband.

My pimp.

Well then let me uh, let me show you your room.

Fuck you!

Okay. Let's settle in.

Alright.

[jazz music]

Oh Lisa, these waffles are unbelievable.

- Good! - But have you ever thought

about making them with buckwheat and chia, it's a little bit flat,

but agave nectar really helps to even them right out.

[Lisa] Hmm.

These are very, very good waffles.

Incredible, incredible.

[Fiona] Geoffrey?

- Yeah? - Did you call the kids?

They were waiting for you to talk with--

I'll call them after breakfast.

No I'll call them now.

I just can't find the phone.

I don't know. Check by your bed.

Fiona? Fiona!

- What? - Well, I just wanted to say

that I think you'll regret leaving.

It looks like you and Geoffrey aren't doing well

and maybe this weekend--

I don't know, you guys could reconnect.

Plus, umm, it's a break from being a mom.

Maybe a weekend off from being a mom is what you need.

Thank you.

Geoffrey?

Sorry, just to be clear, you want me to fuck another man

to save our marriage?

Umm, well yeah, yes.

- Yeah. - Yes?

Yeah.

Well, I guess I'll stay.

So I guess we're staying then.

- Wow! - That's great.

Gonna--

There you go, Fiona.

It's-- I'd say that this really uh, changes everything.

Yeah everything's uh, it changes everything.

So how do we decide who goes with who on which night then?

It's not-- It doesn't matter.

We got three couples, two nights.

What-- what-- Do the math. It doesn't matter.

Actually Geoffrey it does, it makes a lot of difference.

Because we're supposed to be impartial

and according to my research we're supposed to develop

some sort of camaraderie with our partners before the...

act.

So...

We could pick names.

I have...

[giggles] Teejay!

- Did you pick me? - Yeah--

What?

Okay well, Skai!

Just put it back in and choose another one.

Yeah!

Okay. I have...

Dan.

Okay, umm, I'll go next.

[clears throat]

Geoffrey!

Looks like it's me and you, sexy.

Mm-hmm.

Okay!

On that note, I think I'm gonna--

I'm gonna go for a run, if no one minds.

Yeah no, I'll come with ya.

Oh! No, you don't--

Really? Because, you said, you know

we're supposed to build a camaraderie

with our sexual partners so that's good.

No! I mean, you don't have--

No, that is-- That's actually exactly

what you said, it's part of the rules.

Right, unless I mean, unless we all want to do

some kind of a group activity together instead.

- No, you're right. - Wow, really?

We need to bond.

- Yeah. - We should bond.

We should do that.

Yeah, I'll grab my shoes.

It'll be fun!

Great! Let's go.

You wanna go for a swim? Let's go swimming.

- I'm gonna get my trunks. - I don't really swim.

[upbeat music]

You said we were going for a jog, not a sprint.

Geoffrey, we've been running for like a minute!

Really?

Feels more like an hour.

But you know, I mean, if you wanna go back

that would be fine.

Whatever, Lisa.

It seems like that's what you want.

So um don't let me get in your way.

Okay, okay well, I'll see ya in a bit.

Jeez, you know, you don't have to be so fuckin' obvious, Lisa!

Geoffrey, I just want to go for a run.

Yeah, right.

Yeah. You know what, I'm sorry,

this whole thing got sprung on you.

Dan didn't tell you we were coming,

and now you and I are...

No, it's-- it's fine.

I thought Dan would've told you,

but now I can totally see why,

yeah, it makes total sense, it's because, well,

I'm not exactly what you were hoping for tonight, right?

And now you're stuck with me, no, I get it. I get it.

No, hey, look I didn't-- I didn't say that--

Yeah, you didn't have to say it.

Geoffrey...

You should really try standing.

No, I'm good. I'm good.

My board's actually quite slippery,

I think they must've just buffed it before we got here.

You have to use your central core Dan, to balance,

you gotta root yourself.

Not much of a rooter.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna stay seated I think.

Uhh, what're you doing? You're way too close.

Well then, I'll come to you.

No, no, no, no! These things are not built for two.

This is a bad idea. Skai please, please!

Skai, don't do it, no no no no.

Whoa, whoa, Pirate Skai.

Permission to come aboard, Captain.

Whoa, seat belt.

Now I know you can do this.

I feel you have a very strong core.

Must be the kickboxing.

Now I'm gonna help move you up with my mind and my body.

Okay.

Now I want you to feel my body against your back.

Feel my-- my stomach,

my ribs, and my breasts,

do you feel me, Dan?

Yeah.

Good.

What's your deal Fifi?

You don't like lakes, you don't like boats,

you don't like water on your face, you don't like nothin'!

What are you driving at?

I dunno, you just seem like you got--

No chill.

- No chill? - Yeah.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah, well I don't think you know me.

No, but I think I'm starting to get to know

the type of person that you are.

Yeah? And what type of person is that?

The type of person that's got no chill.

Yeah well, why don't you talk to me in 10 years

after you've given birth to three little terrorists.

You know, you have a mortgage,

kids with separate food allergies

who want to wake you up in the middle of the night

to read them a story.

So then you can talk to me about how much chill you've got, alright?

Alright, alright, I got it, aright?

I didn't mean to offend you,

I'm just saying that life is too short to have hangups, you know?

I don't have any hangups, thank you very much.

You're wearing like a-- A dress for the lake.

Aww, Fiona!

Fifi!

Okay, now we're slowly gonna rise.

- Okay. - Okay? I got you, Dan.

- Okay. - I got you.

Whoa.

Yeah, you can do it.

Oh.

[yelling]

I'm up! I'm up! I'm doing it!

I'm paddle boarding!

[splash]

[Lisa] Fiona?

- No, thanks. - Okay.

So Skai, I'm not sure if you're aware

that you're in the midst of a famous musician.

Oh, Lisa.

- What? - Ha-ha.

She's referring to my musical past.

So Fiona, have you and Geoffrey ever considered

investing in a startup business before?

No.

No we don't have any fucking money.

Our in-laws, they control the purse strings.

We don't have it.

- So um, Lisa? - Mm-hmm?

Have I told you my business idea about yoga for babies?

I'm sorry, for-- for babies?

For babies.

Why the fuck would a baby wanna do yoga?

You can't put a baby in a hot room, they'll die.

No, that's-- that's Bikram, Fiona.

This is Ashtanga, it's completely--

- No. - Yeah, it's completely different.

I think that would kill a child.

It promotes relaxation and flexibility

and I think it's gonna be the next big thing

in holistic infant athletics.

Yeah.

Hey, I just um, I had an idea that just came to me right now.

Umm, can I just show you guys some poses?

No, I think that sounds fucking awful, actually.

Can we drink wine while we do it?

At least the bleeding's finally stopped.

God, I told you not to yank on the rod.

What were you scared of a minnow or a something?

I'm sorry, Dan.

Okay, 50 times, I'm sorry!

- So, Geoff. - Hmm?

How long have you and Fiona--

How long have you guys been hooked?

Uhh, 15 years.

15 years?

Cool.

Is it?

Okay, so let's do this.

Okay, so--

- Lisa, pay attention! - Pay attention!

Pay attention.

Okay Ujjay pranayama, take a deep...

[inhales]

Inhale through your nose and exhale--

Ahh...

Through your mouth.

- Lisa! - Shh, quiet!

- Ahh. - Ahh.

Yeah, aah.

Lisa, don't you think this is--

Idea is a little bit bonkers for tonight?

What-- you mean this whole thing...

- Yes, absolutely. - I mean, am I nuts?

No, no you're not nuts because the Ashtanga teachings

suggest that sexual energy is the most potent of all energies.

And when redirected to the higher chakras

it can lead to a more enlightened state of being.

So sleeping with someone else's spouse leads to enlightenment?

I don't know about that. See I've been fucking Dan for

fifteen years and it really hasn't done it for me.

Oh well, you'll totally get there with Teejay.

He knows what he's doing.

Hmm.

They met in Israel.

Brazil, it was Brazil.

- Brazil? - Yeah.

That's a hell of a story.

Yeah, Fiona was there with her band.

Band?

Yeah, she was a pioneer in the electronic music industry.

It's a true story, many years ago.

And you were there researching that book thing, right Geoff?

- Yep. - Geoff wrote a book.

Oh yeah? Anything I might have read?

Not unless you're one of the 9 people who bought one.

I wrote a book about the Kawahivas.

This is an indigenous tribe from Brazil.

I spent a year with them and I wrote a book.

So is that what you do? You're a writer?

Ah, was.

No, now I'm-- I'm in the foam injection business.

Goldstein's Foam.

They make foam for furniture, like um--

Like couches and shit.

[sighs] It's a family business.

My mom and dad run a business with my brother

and I am in green compliance.

Green compliance.

Hmm.

Honestly, how many times a week do you have and Dan fuck?

Umm, I'd say twice.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, us it's like twice a day.

Right.

Oh my god, twice a day?

Yeah.

- Wow. - At least.

Fiona, what about you and Geoffrey?

Oh, as you can imagine.

Just, so much.

I really like what you're doing with your hair.

Shut up.

Okay, um, so follow me now.

Just do what I'm doing.

[clears throat]

Hey fun fact, did you know that semen

is not only a sexual fluid, but also a lubricant

for the brain too?

Hey, fun fact.

Is it true that you've sucked a lot of cock in your life?

[laughing]

[uneasy laugh]

- [Lisa] Hey Dan? - [Dan] Yeah?

Can you grab this, please?

- Of course. - Thanks.

God, you look beautiful.

Thank you.

- Ow, shit! - What?

- Oh, just-- - Oh no.

- Is your thumb okay? - Yeah, it's fine.

God.

Hey, Dan?

Yeah?

Is this a mistake?

I mean, are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Because-- It's not too late.

I know.

Do you not wanna go through with this?

Because, if you don't we will absolutely call it--

No, I mean, I think I do. It's...

I just...

Lis...

You know you're the love of my life, right?

And there is absolutely nothing,

nothing that would ever change that.

I know.

You're the person that I have built an incredible life with.

This weekend is...

It's about fun.

And if it's not fun...

No, you know what, you are-- You are absolutely right.

I mean, this was my idea.

Whatever, it's just sex.

Nothing more.

'Kay.

[kissing]

[spraying]

[sigh]

[jazz music]

[camera shutter]

Okay!

So, um I think that maybe,

we should go over the rules before we begin.

M-hmm, absolutely.

You know, so that everybody is on the same page.

- Is that cool? - Mm-hmm.

[Lisa] Okay, great. Ummm, let's see, blah, blah, blah, uhh

"whatever happens in the bedroom, it just--

It stays in the bedroom."

That's a good point, hon.

Probably best we don't go into all the, uh, little details.

And there is no gossiping.

It's no one else's business but our own.

So, Skai, please no posting on social media.

Amen to that, I may want to run for office one day.

Umm, okay, but are we, like, free to do whatever we want?

Like is oral okay or is it just basic banging?

Oh and how does everyone feel about kinky stuff?

Oh yeah, she-- she can be kinky.

I really like kinky stuff so...

Oh.

[Dan] Yeah, totally.

Umm, I think it should be what each person is comfortable with,

I think, right?

Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, I guess so um, anything goes, right?

As long as, as long as we both agree.

Um, and, but it does say here

and I think that it's really important

that there can be no real affection.

Right? Like I'm talking about intimacy,

you know like, stuff cuddling and kissing.

That's really, that's out of bounds

and it should be reserved for-- For your real partner.

So that it's just- it's just sex, right?

It's just about sex and there's no strings, no emotions.

- [loud clap] - [Teejay] So.

So uhh...

I guess, I guess that covers it.

Yeah, seems so.

I still can't believe this is happening.

Fiona...

Okay, alright well, why don't you guys

let us girls get ready and then you can...

Come and join us.

Okay.

Oh and I left um, I placed some surprises in everyone's rooms.

Just...

Decided to do something...

Well uh, YOLO, bring it boys.

[inhales and exhales]

Hmm.

[sipping]

[whimsical music]

[knocking on door]

[Skai] Come in.

[seductive music]

[knocking on door]

Hey.

How you doin'?

Do you wanna start over

after everything that happened down at the lake?

- Absolutely. - That was a little bit weird, right?

- Yeah, I was a cunt. - No, no, no.

It was my fault, It was my fault.

- No. - I shouldn't have said that.

I shouldn't have said what I said about your dress.

I wore a velvet top by the lake, so--

It doesn't matter, I was totally out of line.

So, you know, truce?

- Alright, we're good. - Okay.

- So-- - What do we do?

Well we have three hours so we can do--

Alright, that's a lot of time.

It is a long time.

So we can do whatever you wanna do.

Okay.

Are you gonna finger fuck me?

I-I, I uh, I can do that.

If that's what you want. Is that what you want?

I don't know. I'm just asking.

We could-- We could get there, yeah.

What are you doing? Are you just, uh--

We'll just--

I just, um, you're taking off my shoes.

Alright, okay.

- Okay. - Yeah, that's fine.

Is that okay?

Yeah, I just want to say

that I haven't actually had a pedicure yet.

That's fine. Pedicure's are over-rated.

Umm, I think--

You know, I don't mind a little bunion here or there.

My feet are a little on the sweaty side.

I don't-- [laughs]

I don't mind bunions

and I don't, I don't mind a little sweat...

Oh my god. They're so sweaty!

I have athlete's foot.

I just feel like--

I'm so sorry, I just--

That's good to know.

Is that contagious?

I don't know, but it's horrible

and I didn't expect somebody to be touching my foot!

- Well should I wash my hands? - I don't know.

Hey.

- Hey. - Hello.

So listen, Geoffrey, I just wanted to say

about before, I'm sorry.

Nah, it's okay, you don't have to, I get it.

You don't have to say anything.

No, listen I really-- I want you to know

that I'm totally okay with this.

- Yeah? - With us, yeah.

Yeah.

- It's a little awkward. - [laughs]

Um, I mean now that I'm actually here doing this,

I can't believe that it's happening.

- Yeah. - So...

Are you nervous?

Are you?

No, I'm-- I'm more worried about Fiona 'cause you know,

I kinda dragged her here and she's--

she's not liberal like me.

She's not open-minded as much.

Right.

No.

Okay listen, why don't you go into the bathroom

and take off your clothes

and then I will take off my clothes,

and I will get into bed and I'll turn off the light

and then you can--

You can come in and join me.

Enjoy you?

Enjoy you?

Oh, I said "join".

Join you.

- But, then enjoy? - No that's... yeah.

- Great! - Okay, let's do that.

- It's a good plan. - Okay.

So you can go do that now, if you want-- if you want too.

Right now. I'll do it right now.

- Okay. - I'll be-- I'll be back in a jiff.

I'll be here.

In bed.

Naked.

So should we go again?

- What, you mean-- - Yeah.

I mean, why not take advantage?

When's the next time we're gonna get this opportunity?

Yeah! Y-y-yeah.

Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna need

just a couple of minutes to reload the howitzer though,

if that's-- If that's cool.

Okay, yeah, that's nice.

No, no, no, that one we can't do that.

That-- that-- that's against the rules.

I don't follow a traditional set of rules or social mores.

- Oh, really? - Um-hmm.

Oh, okay.

Oh, oh, really?

No. No, you do not.

[moans]

Will you tell me when you have an erection?

- I'll let you know. - Will you just tell--

You know, maybe we'll just not talk for a little bit.

Alright, go for it, just do what you do.

- Yeah, we'll take it easy. - Alright, I won't talk.

- Yeah, yeah. - Okay.

Also, I should tell you, actually,

that I haven't had sex in two years.

You haven't had sex in two years?

No.

Well, why?

Because the kids are always coming in the fucking bed.

They always want something.

In the middle of the night they need something

and fucking Geoff is, like, completely stoned.

So he falls asleep and... and you know, do you take?

Do you know what an SSRI is? Like anti--

An antidepressant.

Yeah, yeah, everybody I know takes antidepressants.

It's like fucking, it just destroys your sex drive.

Well, I don't have that problem, so--

You take antidepressants?

Yeah.

Are you sad?

I mean, sometimes.

You're sad?

You want a hug?

[gentle music]

Come here.

Come here.

- Are you gonna hug me? - Yeah, yeah, come here.

[sighs]

Do you wanna do something to

get your mind off everything?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Okay, just wait here, okay?

I'll be right back.

Athlete's foot.

Fuck.

[slurping]

Lisa, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna make love to you.

Lisa, I wanna-- I'm ready to bang.

Hey Lis.

Lis, do it. Do me.

Take my--

My, wang.

[kissing]

What is that?

It's Molly.

You know what that is?

- You've done it, right? - Yes, I do.

Okay, so you're fun.

So let's have fun tonight.

I want that so badly.

Hey.

Hello.

Okay.

I'm just gonna, uh,

I'm gonna, uh, here it goes...

Ouch!

Sorry, that was--

I misjudged the depth of the bed.

- I didn't see the-- - It's okay.

I didn't see you there.

Okay, that was not the smoothest entry.

Wasn't very Clooney-esque.

Okay, here we are.

Both together, naked, in bed.

Yes we are.

Alright, I'm gonna--

Can I put my hand in this general vicinity?

Sure, yeah.

You're just-- You're on my hair, Geoffrey.

Ouch, you're on my hair!

Oh shit, I'm so sorry.

You have a lotta... long hair.

Okay, um...

Alright.

How about...

Okay, this?

Does this feel good?

Yeah!

Yeah! That feels-- that feels very good.

- Okay. - Okay.

Alright.

I would like, m'lady, to do my duty.

Male duty.

Okay.

[chuckles]

Oh! There you are.

Mhm, is this good?

Y-yep!

Umm...

It's just, uh...

I think it's your glasses are scratching me.

What?

Your glasses, they're kind of scratching me.

I'm sorry, I'll take them off.

- Okay. - [thud]

Oh shit.

- Ouch. - Are you okay?

Ow, my nose.

Are you all right?

- I feel like I'm seeing stars. - Can I see it?

Let me see.

Okay. A little bit of blood here.

What?

Here, here, here.

Can I see?

You're okay.

Are you sure it's not on the sheets?

- I'm sure it's not. - These are not my sheets.

It's not on the sheets. It's not on the sheets.

Oh fuck, my nose!

I'm sorry. I'm a klutz.

I'm a total klutz.

- This is not how I was-- - Shh!

What is that?

[moaning and banging]

[Fiona] Oh my god. Oh my god.

Wow.

Oh my god! Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!

Oh my god!

Whoa. [laughs]

I do not think I've ever experienced anything

quite like that before in my life.

Yeah. Thanks.

The Camel Pose is the best way to experience a full body orgasm,

as well as a mind-body connection.

Maybe next time you'll let me do it without the cuffs.

[chuckles]

Maybe.

[grunts]

Are you okay?

Oh yeah, yeah, no I think I just twisted awkwardly

when you had my legs pinned behind my head.

But I think I felt it, the mind-body thing?

Yeah, is it normal to feel like you're about to pass out?

[laughs]

You're hilarious.

And... sexy.

And smart.

Cool.

You're bendy.

Oh okay, thanks.

No, I'm mean-- You're amazing, obviously.

You are amazing.

Yeah, you're not so bad yourself, Mr. Rad Ass.

Wow, I haven't smoked pot in forever.

Look, again, I am really sorry about that before.

Would you knock it off?

Well, it was so awful.

It's fine, Geoffrey.

I'll just get a nose job.

[laughing]

Yeah.

Ah fuck, we're getting old.

Whoa, speak for yourself!

Oh, I meant, I'm getting old.

Did I say "we"? I meant, I'm getting old.

You look great, you're not getting old.

You and Dan, you guys don't age,

you guys are like the perfect damn couple.

It's nauseating.

Mm-mm.

It's just a lot of work, Geoffrey.

You know, maintenance.

Everything needs to be heavily maintained.

To be honest, I think that I'm getting sick of it.

Yeah, I think, I mean, that's the problem with Fiona and I.

We actually, we haven't maintained in ages.

- You know? - Mmm.

Here.

Oh, you doing it?

Yep.

Woo!

Woo!

[sighs]

Oh yeah!

Woo!

Hey, you getting in here or what?

Ah?

Oh yeah!

[laughing]

[splash]

[gasping]

Wow, Dan is a lucky man.

Wow.

All right, so...

[clears throat]

What were we talking about?

You were saying how lucky you are

to be skinny dipping with such a well hung young stud.

[laughing]

I'm not that high.

Right. Yeah.

No, umm, we were talking about my failing marriage.

We're not physical, you know?

We haven't been for a long time, we lost our intimacy.

You know what Geoffrey, I don't think that--

I don't think that sex has anything to do with intimacy.

No, I think that they can be two separate things.

Which is why Dan and I were able to have this weekend, right?

You know, I actually wrote a book that addressed intimacy

and relationships within a Brazilian tribe.

Yeah, the Kawahivas.

I read it.

Get the fuck outta here!

You read it?

- Really? - Yeah.

That's, that's crazy.

That's like seriously.

15 people, total, read that book

including my bubbe who didn't "care for it".

Well, I-- I read it.

I'm totally shocked.

That, that's crazy.

Look I wasn't always this person, Geoffrey.

Selling houses, and sports drinks,

and baking brownies for the goddamned PTA.

Well, you're really good at it.

I'm really good at what, at being fake?

'Cause it's like we said before, it's just a lot of work.

Heavy maintenance.

That's not what I meant.

Really? Well, isn't that what I am, just a big fat phony?

Because I'm really beginning to wonder.

I don't know.

I'm not the guy to ask, I mean,

I'm a green compliance officer

at my parents' foam injection business.

But I do know one thing.

You have to at least try,

to be authentic.

Or else you just...

end up like me.

[muffled dance electronic music]

What is that?

Whoa.

[electronic music]

Hey! Hey guys!

- What's going on in here? - Geoffrey!

- Hi! - Hey!

- Whoa. - Hey man!

- Hi! - Hi!

How are you?

Good!

What's going on?

Oh my god, Geoff, we had the best time!

- Yeah? - Yes!

God, we had the best time!

Hey, do you guys know where Skai and Dan are?

So you guys umm, did you guys?

- Yeah! We did it! - Do it?

It was amazing!

- Yeah? - Yes!

It was amazing.

You guys do know you really got a lot of energy.

Must be the M.

What? The "M"?

Yeah, the Molly.

- Who's Molly? - Molly as in ecstasy?

You guy-- you guys are on ecstasy?

No- you g-- I'm sorry, are you fucking kidding me?

You gave my wife ecstasy?

She's a recovering addict.

Oh no, no, Geoffrey. Don't listen to him,

I did drugs over one weekend 20 years ago!

She-- she's on anti-depressants, okay?

Can you even mix ecstasy with anti-depressants?

I'll give you some to go home with you.

I don't want any to go home!

Are you pushing on me?

What are you a pusher now? You like a part-time pusher?

A pusher? You got a fanny pack full of weed

and you're calling me a pusher?

My weed is natural!

It grows from the-- from the ground and God made it, okay?

It wasn't built in a laboratory by crazy people!

Hey, I just had the best idea!

What about we take off our clothes and go in the lake?

- Come on! - Skinny dipping!

- Yes! - Oh my God!

You don't like swimming in the lake, honey!

You hate swimming in the lake!

You don't know anything about me anymore!

That's the thing!

Come on.

Let's go, Teejay.

What the fuck?

[kissing]

[electronic music]

[soft piano music]

Mmm.

Morning babe.

Morning.

Listen, Lis.

I am so sorry.

I can't believe I actually fell asleep last night.

I honestly think I just lost track of time.

Oh, did you?

I didn't even notice.

Okay...

So how did things end up on your end?

Dan, you know that we're not allowed to talk about it.

The rules, remember?

[Geoff] Hi.

Hey! Morning.

Morning.

There's coffee.

Thank you so much.

[clears throat]

- Here you go. - Thank you.

Did you get some sleep?

Uh, no, not really.

Aww, Geoffrey.

[Geoff] Yeah, rough night.

[sigh]

Hi.

You could smell those beans from the dock over there.

What is that? Sumatra?

Did you guys sleep outside?

Yeah, we just like passed out on the dock.

Hi.

Look at all these mosquito bites.

- Oh wow. - Yeah.

- Yeah, no, I know. - Fuck, look at that.

- There's muffins. - Thank you.

I uh, I-- I came down there, I was trying to wake you guys up,

you were passed out cold.

That's what happens when you have illegal narcotics

pushed upon you by bad guys.

She needed it.

Shh.

Quiet. Calm.

Anyway, it was a crazy night.

Yeah, it was.

Yeah, totally crazy.

Umm, I don't know, I think we should get--

We should-- We should cut outta here.

We should ge-- Hit the road.

Why?

Well, you know, you guys, you know.

Mission accomplished.

"Mission accomplished"?

What does that mean?

You know.

No, I don't, actually.

I just don't think we, we need to...

You know, we came here and you guys...

So...

Can we go?

No, I don't want to.

I'm actually... I like being away from home.

I'm gonna go have a shower.

[Skai] Namaste, everyone.

[grunting]

Good game, Geoffrey!

You're up, Mr. Rad Ass.

Great. [clears throat]

[panting]

Oh god, I cannot remember the last time I played that game.

That was really fun.

You were lookin' pretty good out there, Skai.

Very Sharapova- Kournikova-Navratilova-esque.

Well, maybe not Navritalova, but...

Thanks!

Hey we should we play again, 'cause I'm warmed up now.

Um, maybe you should take a little break, Geoffrey.

Yeah buddy, we left the defibrillator

back at the house, so...

Ha! Good one. Nah, I'm good.

Let's do it. Let's-- bring it on.

Let's do a little Dan and me on you.

Like a two on one. A little three way.

Umm, actually, on second thought,

if you guys don't mind, I wouldn't mind taking a break.

Yeah.

You know, I was thinking about taking a little walk.

Do you wanna come with?

Yes!

Absolutely, no-- yes!

There is I heard a great nature path not too far from here.

That might be perfect.

Awesome.

- Great, let's do it. - Let's do it.

Do you mind?

No! No, I love nature walks.

Let's do it!

[Skai] Great.

So great.

So great.

All right.

Do I really want to get on the jet ski?

I don't know.

Here you go.

Where's um, where's Dan?

I thought you were supposed to be hanging out with him?

Yeah, well he's somewhere off with Skai.

What a shocker.

Um, actually, you know what you guys?

I'm gonna sit this one out.

You sure? It fits three.

Yeah, I know, there's a couple things I have to do at the house--

But I will-- I'll catch up with you later.

Alright, Fifi.

It's me and you. Jump on.

Alright. Better not kill me.

- I got you. - Mhmm.

You're safe.

- Have fun! - [giggling]

Hold on!

[screams]

[intriguing music]

[sighs]

Oh Geoff, hey look, look!

It's one of those super rare migrating birds

- you were mentioning. - What?

Yeah, no look, right, right over here!

[Skai] Guys?

Oh, it's a, it's a red-bellied, yellow breasted crane here.

We're both totally into bird watching, it's-- it's a guy thing.

You know what, you run ahead, we'll uh, we'll catch up.

We're just gonna peek in on this little guy.

What the fuck is going on with you, Dan?

Nothing's going on, man.

I just-- I just wanted a few minutes with Skai, alone, okay?

Unless you haven't figured that out you friggen' genius.

Yeah, what? Alone with Skai?

Why?

Listen Geoff, I went through a lot

to have you and Fiona here this weekend.

Okay, you and Fiona weren't even supposed to be here.

So why don't you just do me this tiny fucking favor

and get lost for a few minutes?

Holy fuck, holy fucking shit balls!

You're falling for her, you're falling Skai?

- I'm not falling for her-- - Are you falling for her?

You fucking idiot!

Shh! Shut the fuck up man.

What is your problem!?

God, I invite you here, you sleep with my god-damn wife

and now you have the nerve to question me?

Oh, to "question" you?

And don't think I didn't see the little kitchen

lovey-dovey shit this morning.

I fucking saw that, dude.

Okay, here's a little newsflash for you, okay?

You're sleeping with my wife tonight!

Right? That's how this whole thing works,

in case you haven't figured it out, you fucking genius.

It doesn't mean anything, you remember?

- You said that, Dan. - Whatever, whatever!

That was you, that's what you said.

- You said that, buddy. - Whatever! Whatever! Whatever!

You really need to get a grip!

No, I do not need to get a grip, you need to get a grip!

Okay, what I need-I need a few minutes alone with Skai!

That is what I need. And you, god--

you don't mention any of this to anyone, okay?

Ow! Fuck!

Fine. Whatever, idiot.

Yeah, that's you. You're the idiot!

- You're an idiot! - You are! You are!

Idiot.

Skai!

Ow, fuck.

Skai!

[sighs]

[soft music]

Ouch!

Shit!

I'm not going on that fucking jet ski again.

I don't like water sports.

You weren't saying that last night.

[laughing]

[Geoff] Teejay.

You give my wife any more narcotics lately or--

- Geoffrey! - Lisa!

How was tennis?

Umm, weird.

- Really? - Yeah, enlightening too.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Ugh.

What?

Do I have something on my face?

No, you look like you're in a good mood.

I feel like I'm in a good mood!

- Yeah? - Yes!

Oh my gosh, I do!

I actually feel like I'm--

I feel good.

I love this. This is-- Amazing.

This happy, this glowing you! This is great.

Let's go-- let's go and hang out.

Let's go talk.

Alright.

- Yeah. - Okay.

You want some coffee?

No, do you want some coffee?

I would love some. Thank you.

Oh, hang on a sec.

- Hello? - Who is it, is it Iggy?

Geoffrey, wait.

Did he find his drumsticks?

Yeah, this is.

[pouring]

Yeah, really?

Okay.

I understand, thank you.

So, everything okay?

Yes. Yeah.

Was it Iggy?

No. He just, he's fine.

He just was having a moment.

Okay. Let's take this coffee.

We'll go down to the lake, we'll sit on the dock and chat.

Yeah, I think I just want to have a bit

of a lie down right now.

Okay, I'll come with you.

No, I just wanna be on my own right now.

Alright, I'll see you later.

Alright.

Ye-- what?

[upbeat music]

[Skai] Dan!

- Hey. - Hey.

Sorry 'bout that.

Where's Geoff?

Uh, he-he had to go number two.

So yeah, he ran, he ran back to the Lake house.

Geoff's a major shitter.

Oh...

Cool.

Yeah.

Wow, it's a killer view.

It's... stunning.

You know, you are pretty beautiful yourself there, Skai.

Aw, you're so sweet.

Thanks.

Here, let's take a photo together.

Sure.

Uh, are you okay?

- What? - Your head.

What happened?

Oh, oh, yeah, no, no that-- that's nothing.

It's just a little- little bug bite.

It's nothing really.

Umm, you know, but-- but seriously,

god, you, you had such an impact on me last night.

I mean, last night was...

Well it was totally mind blowing, if I'm honest.

[laughs]

- I know, right? - Right?

It was pretty intense for a one on one.

Sometimes I like to bring another woman into the mix.

Cool.

Yeah, you need to work on your breath though.

You're pranayama, the control of it.

Okay.

There's so much more I could teach you.

Yeah?

Do you know, Ashtanga can impact every aspect of your life

as long you're open to it?

That's why it's so important to start as an infant.

- Yeah. No, that makes perfect sense. - Mhmm.

Of course, why wouldn't you?

My business plan for Ashtanga Babies covers it all.

- Great! - Yeah!

Cool, I'd love to hear more about these "Ashmanga Babies."

[laughs]

They're Ashtanga babies.

- Ash-Ashtanga. - Yeah!

Sounds so exotic.

Ashtanga babies!

It's not really though. It's just yoga.

Love- yeah, cool.

Yeah!

[giggles]

[jazz music]

[Teejay] So how's your dessert sweetie?

I haven't tried it yet.

Try it. Looks delicious.

No, I want you to try it first.

- You want me to try it? - No, yeah, 'cause you're cuter.

- [laughs] - Mmmm.

- Is it good? - It is good.

Almost as good as you.

- Aww! - It's true, try it, it's good!

Naw, you're the best.

[both chuckling]

Oh.

Dan.

When do you think you and I, we can get some face time, sit down

talk about some new product ideas I have for Rad Ass?

Yeah, Dan.

You have to hear his new ideas.

They're like totally Rad Ass.

[laughing]

I'd love to.

[snickering] Worth it.

I've always fucking hated that name.

[snickering]

[sigh]

[chuckling]

[crickets chirping]

What?

I didn't say anything.

Well, I guess it's go time.

Shall we?

Asshole.

Let's do this.

Round two.

[crickets chirping]

- Hi. - Hey.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hey. - Hey.

Can I uhh, just quick?

Yeah.

Umm.

So, what happened?

What?

What happened?

With Skai?

Dude.

We're not supposed to talk about it.

Remember the rules?

- That's what I thought. - Okay.

[laughing]

Okay, you know what?

[sigh]

Look, I'm sorry.

I uhh, I didn't want to have to tell you this--

Tell me what?

I'm sorry, okay, but we connected,

we connected, she and I.

There was a lot of eye contact and kissing.

A lot of deep kissing

and I-I just think that's the way she does it, you know?

I didn't mean for it to happen, I feel shitty about it.

I'm sorry.

Okay man? I'm sorry.

- Hey Babe. - [Skai] Hey Babes!

[kiss]

[sigh]

I'm sorry.

[water running]

[Teejay] Woo!

[sniffs]

Yeah...

So...

You-- did it.

You actually did it. You had sex twice.

Yeah we did.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

More than twice, actually.

Sorry?

We did it more than twice.

Right.

I mean, yeah, I guess if you count every--

Look, I know you're pissed off

and you think this was a stupid idea.

I know that. I get it.

You know, and I don't--

I want you to know...

I want you to know that I didn't do anything with Skai or Lisa.

'Cause that's not what this was about and I didn't do it at all.

So you thought that tricking me into having sex with somebody

else was a really good idea and really smart for us?

Is that what you thought?

Hold on a sec now,

is it possible Fiona, that maybe,

just maybe, it did something for you?

Yeah.

With Dan I realized that yeah, I like sex.

I love being held, I love kissing.

I love intimacy.

Okay!

You know what I realized?

It's not that I don't want to have sex, Geoffrey.

I just don't want to have sex with you.

[crickets chirping]

[bag rustling]

[crunching]

[sigh]

[Skai] Dan.

Hey! [clears throat]

- Hey. - Hey.

I was just getting some water.

Is everything okay?

Mhmm, mhmm.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

I just, I uhh needed a little snack so I came here to get one.

Oh, okay.

Um actually, that's uhh,

I was having a little trouble sleeping.

I just feel a little uneasy, a little bit.

Oh? Uh-um. About what?

Well, I uhh--

Dan, I just...

I feel like we've really connected this weekend

and I- I hope that there isn't anything

that you wouldn't share with me.

- Really? - Yeah.

That's good.

That's good,

because, I mean, that's- that's-- that's just it, Skai.

It just felt like, you know, like maybe,

I thought that-that-that we had, you know, something.

We do!

Wait, but Geoffrey,

I mean Geoffrey told me that you and him, you guys--

No.

No, nothing intimate happened between Geoffrey and I.

He's just not sexually open right now.

Interesting.

[pensive music]

[knocking] Dan!

Dan, are you in there, man?

[knocking]

Geoffrey! I'm trying to sleep.

I need-- I gotta talk to you, please.

And this needs to happen right now?

Yeah, I gotta talk to you right now, please.

- [sigh] - Just over here.

Okay, just tell me what happened

between you and Fiona last night, okay?

What do you mean by that?

I mean, I mean, she spends one night with you

and now she basically says, well she basically says

she'll fuck anyone other than me!

And that's my fault?

I want you to tell me exactly what happened, okay?

Well that's just too damn bad!

Remember the rules, Geoffrey?

We all agreed to keep the details to ourselves.

So.

God, you're such an asshole!

You are such an asshole.

I have a right to know details

that are gonna affect my marriage!

Okay I just want you to tell me the truth.

I can handle it. Tell me the truth.

You wanna know the truth?

How about you start by telling me the truth about everything

that happened with Skai last night!

- Oh my god! - Wanna start there?

Would you please let that go?

You are being such a--

Such a what? Such a-- such a--

Oh wait, wait.

Such a-- Such a "liar"?

Because that would be a very accurate description of you!

Oh yeah, yeah, I know everything!

Skai told me nothing happened between you two.

Skai.

Enough with this Skai shit dude!

You're honestly losing your fucking mind, man.

You're delusional. I was trying to help you!

You know what, you know what, stay the fuck out of my business

and I will stay out of yours.

- Dude. - [Lisa] Dan?

Shit!

Hey, Lisa!

Lisa, hey!

I was just uh, showing Geoffrey the garden.

Morning!

[Lisa] Morning. What- now?

[Dan] Yeah, ya-huh, yeah now.

Now it's uhh, best time in the morning, it's beautiful.

Were you guys yelling?

What? No, I don't know. I don't think so, no.

No.

Really, because did it sound like they were yelling?

It sounded like you were yelling.

What? Yeah, sort of.

Where are you guys going?

Well I just, I just got Skai up.

We're gonna, we're gonna go for a little jog.

Wow, your girlfriend and your wife are BFF's.

That's great. That's a great idea.

Yeah well, have- have fun.

Okay!

Ready?

Shit!

Hey, please, please tell me.

Tell me what you did or said to my wife.

Why don't you stop being such a pussy and ask her yourself?

Okay Geoffrey, for once, just once, grow some fucking balls!

Jesus Christ!

[Teejay] Morning Dan.

Yeah, good morning.

Wanna come over here a minute?

I got everything queued up,

I think you're gonna love these marketing ideas.

What?

Teejay, not now, okay!?

Come take a look at it!

Fine.

Alright.

Rad Ass protein bars.

All natural.

And are these um...

these are your raw material costs?

Yes sir.

Where did you source those, fantasy-land?

I mean this is- this is 30% under market.

Well, I might have to revisit--

What's your binding agent?

Well, we haven't fully looked into that yet--

Right, I didn't think so.

Because right now, this bar would need to retail

for about 20 dollars!

Teejay,

you haven't actually thought through the product design,

the market suitability, or the technical feasibility.

This bar will never fuckin' fly.

Well, if you looked at the marketing ideas I mean--

If you looked at the marketing ideas 'cause--

[door slams]

Is this fixable? Do you think we can fix this?

Fuck off.

I really want to be alone right now.

I don't want to talk to you.

No, I am not leaving you alone.

I'm asking you very nicely to respect my privacy.

And I'm asking you nicely to respect this marriage!

You're a woman, Geoffrey, for fuck's sake...

Alright, you're seriously gonna--

Lis, Lis.

[sigh]

Can I just say something?

I think that you are gorgeous, and you are smart.

Aw!

No, I mean it, I just love a strong woman, Lisa.

And I'm totally feeling it from you,

that connection of- of mind, body, and spirit.

Yeah.

And I think we'd make great partners in Ashtanga Babies.

Really, Skai?

Uh-huh.

Oh.

[kissing]

Actually, you know what, Skai?

What?

I'm really not feeling it.

[intriguing music]

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fiona!

What the hell are you doing?

Fuck off, Geoffrey!

[thrilling music]

You're going kayaking?

Ugh.

Fuck!

Will you come back here please!?

Will you stop?

Ugh, shit!

I think the jig is up.

Have you seen my piece?

It's right there. Why, what happened?

Fucking Lisa.

How'd it go with Dan?

Not good. Not good at all act--

It was horrible.

What?

I did everything that I could.

I-I-I pitched the idea,

it was going smooth and then it-it just--

Dan was right.

I had some- some problems.

You're kidding me.

Are you mad at me now?

You know what, Teejay?

Dan doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

Right.

Shit.

And now it looks like

Lisa's gonna put the kibosh on Ashtanga Babies.

What?

What a totes waste of time.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

So what's our next move?

I don't know, I think we might as well face the facts

that this just isn't working for us!

We should just end this.

Our chakras are completely misaligned.

We need to call this off,

there's no use in prolonging the inevitable.

Call it off.

Are you sure you're not mad at me?

Just the opposite.

[suggestive music]

Fiona!

Geoffrey, fuck off!

Would you stop, please!?

I really just wanna be alone, Geoffrey.

- Alright? - No!

No, because I care about this marriage!

And you think I don't care about this shitty marriage?

I want a friend! I feel isolated!

You don't see that I'm drowning!

Oh, are you unhappy?

I'm in foam, Fiona!

I'm in fucking foam! Okay?

I'm in foam!

You think I like being Mr. Foam?

Being the foam guy?

I didn't tell you to go work in foam!

Alright? I didn't say become this fucking adult pothead.

I didn't say go stop writing

and sit on the couch all the time, did I?

I don't think you fucking understand who I am!

You keep saying this, that I don't know you.

That I don't know anything about you.

So, tell me.

Can you enlighten me, dear?

What don't I know about you,

what's the big secret here?

I'm gonna tell you right now.

I cut an album.

Alright?

What?

What does that mean, you cut an--

I got the Moldovans!

They're mine!

I got them.

I got Slad Gjot.

What?

What-what--

Madov--

Moldova?

Moldova.

Moldova.

You hired producers from Moldova, is that a real thing?

Are they- they're producers--

It's a real country, Geoffrey.

Don't be racist.

And you-

Do you-

Are you serious right now?

I'm serious.

I-I I'm speechless.

How did you--

I'm making a comeback.

--Where, when, how?

How did you afford such a thing?

Uhh well, we- we had to make an investment.

"We", like-

We?

So what kind of investment did we make?

What are we talking about here exactly?

Alright, Geoffrey.

About roughly in the world of 350.

So...

Come again?

Yeah, 350,000.

I'm sorry, can you say that again?

You know, Geoffrey, it's not cheap to work in Moldova.

Hey, Lisa.

Hey.

I uh...

I need to talk to you.

Uh-huh.

It's just, it's not--

It's not something that's easy to talk about.

Can you hand me the rum?

[clears throat]

Thanks.

Umm...

[pouring]

Oh fuck this, okay, there's no good way to say this, Lis,

so I'm just gonna- I'm gonna come out and I'm gonna...

I think I might be in love with Skai.

Oh, really?

I am so sorry, I never meant for this to happen.

I didn't.

Lisa, you're the mother of my children, okay?

And I will always love and respect you, always.

But something, something changed in me this weekend,

I feel like I need to explore this thing with Skai.

I mean, we've connected in this...

in this deeply spiritual, extraordinary way and I just--

I think it would be unfair to us.

It would be unfair to you and to me,

if I didn't acknowledge those feelings and be true to myself.

And it would break my heart to lie to you.

Wow.

I know.

I know, I am so sorry and I do hope that we will be able

to find a way to- to work past this.

Are you fucking kidding me?

- No. - Holy fuck!

Are you fucking-- You're fucking serious!

$350,000 of our money!

I've been worried sick about you,

I'm obsessed with making sure you're happy

and everything's taken care of

and you've got everything you need, but really,

you're just running around lying to me,

and spinning this web of fucking lies

and cutting a secret fucking album?

And a music video.

'Cause we had to!

We have to do the music video as well, obviously.

Oh obviously, right.

No, come on, Geoffrey. No!

[splash]

Help!

Geoffrey! Geoffrey!

You're wearing a life jacket.

Fucking float.

No come on, Geoffrey.

Please.

You know what?

Forget Dan.

Forget him, forget his money.

I don't need his money.

I'll go out on my own.

I'll open my own firm.

Yeah! Yeah, forget Lisa!

I don't need Lisa.

I don't even like Lisa!

Yeah, I know.

Oh.

Oh, I love you.

You know what you are, Dan?

You are a dumb-ass.

You're not a rad ass, but you're a real fucking dumb-ass

'cause you've been played like a well strung fiddle.

I get that you're upset, you've every right to be.

Yeah, you're right, I am upset.

And do you wanna know why I'm upset, Dan?

Because I married a fake fucking imbecile!

But you know what?

You guys, you're you're actually really perfect for each other

because she's just as dumb and as fake as you are.

So...

I'm not trying to be fake here, Lisa.

I'm trying to be real to you right now, Lisa.

I'm trying to be truthful and honest with you.

Oh my god Dan, everything about you is a sham.

And you wanna know what I learned this weekend?

I learned that I have allowed you to turn me into something

that I never should have been.

To something that I never even wanted to be.

The hell are you talking about?

I am talking about this!

And about the car, and the money, and the jobs,

and the house, and the image!

Fuck it!

It's all just a load of crap and I don't want it.

You're- you're tripping.

You-you-you are seriously delusional, Lisa.

You know what, I'm not.

I think that I'm seeing clearly

for the first time in a really long time.

And all this, I don't want any of it.

That's not who I am.

And you know what?

I am done building fake relationships

and marketing your sorry ass.

Wow.

So now suddenly you have a problem with our success?

Now who's full of shit!?

You don't like the name Rad Ass?

Well here's a newsflash: you came up with it!

Christ's sake, don't tell me that this isn't you,

that somehow I've forced you into some life

that you don't want,

'cause that is the biggest load of shit that I have ever heard!

Oh my god, Dan!

Everything about us is fake!

Oh Everything's fake, everything's fake, really?

Our kids are fake?

Fuck you!

Fuck you, and fuck you!

You know why I planned this weekend, Dan,

because I fucking knew that you would do it.

I bet.

I just had to prove to myself that you would.

And you know what,

you have caused me to lead an inauthentic life.

"An inauthentic life"? Wow!

Oh I- I get this now.

You're actually suffering from some sort of mid-life crisis!

You know what, maybe-maybe I am.

Because when I met you I was an anthropology major

and I could a done something important with my life.

Maybe I could've--

I could've discovered a tribe in fucking

Papua New Guinea!

Do they have a Four Seasons there?

Give me a fucking break, Lisa.

Are you honestly trying to tell me

that you don't love closing the deal!?

No.

I don't.

Wow.

You are clearly not handling this well.

Oh my god whatever, Dan.

You spend one night with hot bendy bitch.

[laughing]

And now it's true love.

We connected in a deeply spiritual, extraordinary way!

Okay, okay Dan you know what, whatever.

I just, I wish you both all the best of luck

and I really hope that your baby yoga business

brings you both much success.

What a fucking loser.

You know what, you planned this weekend

because you thought I was fake,

but then you realized you were.

Yeah.

That's why you're pissed.

[melancholy music]

Fuck you! Fuck you!

[sigh]

[leaves rustling]

[birds chirping]

[birds chirping]

[scoffs]

How did we get here?

I mean, are you really that unhappy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

- I really am. - Okay.

When I met you I had this like little music career.

It was kind of great.

And then I got married to you.

And now I'm just like, I love my family,

I would die for my family.

I can't, I-I can't, I-I I can't fucking do it anymore.

I'm like this fucking housewife.

I have no one to talk to.

What about me?

What about me? Why couldn't you talk to me?

When would I talk to you?

You get home, you light your spliff,

you go on the couch, you fall asleep.

I don't talk to anyone.

You know who I talked to last night, was Dan.

That's all we did.

I'm sorry, I should've talked to you, but I can't.

Oh fuck.

You talked to Dan?

Yeah.

Wow.

I'm-I'm uh...

I'm miserable.

I'm so--

You should fucking quit your job!

You should quit your qu--

No, I'm serious.

Quit. Just quit.

Quit your job as a green compliance officer.

Just do it.

And then what am I gonna do?

I've got a huge line of credit to pay off, evidently.

I don't know, I don't know!

I mean, come on.

We need to be happy.

Please.

I can't believe I brought you up here like this.

To do this.

I don't- I can't believe what a fucking idiot I've been.

Fucking idiot.

Well I'm idiot number two,

because I made a fucking music video!

Yeah.

I'd like to see that by the way.

Is that-- Can we watch that later?

Oh it's- it's...

[laughing]

Don't, please don't.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm really-- I'm really sorry about everything.

Will you kiss me?

Just try.

Okay.

[mellow music]

[laughing]

You stupid muppet.

[laughing]

[Dan] Hey!

Hey!

Dan! How you doing? You okay?

Yeah, what's- what's up?

You guys-- You guys leaving?

Yeah, I gotta get back to town,

got some business I need to take care of.

But it's been totes amaze balls.

And we can't thank you guys enough for having us.

Yeah, this weekend was--

We had so much fun.

I mean, I had a great time.

- Okay. - Umm...

Where's- where's Lisa? We should say bye to her.

Oh, she's umm, she's...

She's out back somewhere out there.

Okay, well let's go say goodbye.

Okay.

Actually, um Teejay, do you mind?

I just wanted to have a quick chat with Skai,

if that-if that would be okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay. I'll uhh...

let you guys have a talk, I'll go say goodbye to Lisa.

Yeah, she's just-- back.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Come here.

[relieved sigh]

Oh!

Mmm, thanks!

Thank you, Dan. That's nice.

Hmm, I told Lisa.

You told Lisa what?

About us!

I know, I know I know it's gonna be difficult to start with,

and I haven't thought about how we're gonna

break the news to Teejay, oh, bless his heart.

But the things that are growing,

the things that are sprouting within me.

I mean, this is the real deal, Skai.

- This is-- This is love. - Oh, Jesus Christ.

I know, it's overwhelming.

I know, I know.

And there are a lot of people that we need to consider,

there's TeeJay, there's Lisa, there's--

Oh my god, there's my kids.

I haven't even thought about them, but you know what?

It's fine, it's fine, we're gonna make it work.

Day by day, we'll make it work.

Dan, I-I'm so sorry,

I didn't know that you felt this way.

I...

What do you--

What do you- what do you mean you're sorry?

I...

Wait, no, you-you feel- you feel- you feel the same, no?

I mean, come on, the other night--

Yeah, the other night was amazing, like the sex

was so great, it was- it was really, really, really--

It was fucking great!

Yeah, but that was just sex, Dan.

This was a swingers weekend, right?

W-well technically yeah, yeah,

but-but Skai we found something-- special.

I mean, that-that-that that was extraordinary--

Totally!

-- And spiritual!

Yeah, I mean, I respect you so much,

and that's why I wanted you to invest in Ashtanga Babies.

- Fuck the Ashmanga babies-- - It's Ashtanga--

--I want you!

I mean, I overheard you with Teejay--

[Teejay] Hey, Skai?

Out here!

- Hey! - Hey.

You ready to hit the road?

Yup! Uhh, yup.

Dan, come here.

Okay.

Thanks you again for this weekend it's been so much fun.

And Lisa?

Whoa...

A deviant.

You take care of her.

I'll see you at the ranch.

Okay, you got the bags, baby?

Yep, yep, let's go.

Alrighty.

Oh and tell Geoffrey and Fiona we say 'bye

'cause they're a really sweet couple.

Okay, bye.

Okay, bye!

You got all them bags?

I have to tell you what just happened!

Teejay, would you listen to me?

Tee-jay!

[sad music]

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hey! - Morning.

We'd lost track of time.

- Hi. - Hi, sorry.

Sorry, didn't help clean up.

No, we didn't.

But thank you, it was a really great weekend.

You know, eventful.

Umm, buddy, I wanna apologize to you for, well for everything.

I mean, ultimately, I wanna thank you too

because I think Fiona and I, we got a fighting chance now.

That's great.

Okay uhh, sweetie?

- Sweetie darling? - Yes?

- Are you good to go? - Yeah, yep.

Guys, almost forgot, I uh, found this in my room.

Thought you probably wouldn't want that left

for the next guests 'cause that'd be super awkward, right?

Mhm. Thank you.

Let's go.

Okay. Ready?

Yep.

Bye, you guys. Thank you.

See ya', take care.

Okay.

Bye, thank you!

[Geoff] Bye.

- Drive safe. - [Geoff] Thanks.

Mhmm.

Grab this.

Thank you.

Yeah, no problem, what do you got in here?

- New shoes? - Ha-ha.

[door opening]

[pensive music]

[door closing]

[sigh]

[upbeat music]