Original subtitles

[ducks quacking]

[Eddie] Billy Gerber's mother

keeps sayin' that chicken soup is very healthy.

[Tom] Well, it's supposed to be.

[Eddie] It doesn't do the chicken any good.

[Tom chuckles] That's true.

[Eddie] Do you think that's fair to the chickens?

[Tom] Well, yes, Eddie, I do.

Nature has provided

for us in many ways.

Givin' us chickens is one of them.

[Eddie] And chickens give us eggs.

[Tom] Mm-hmm. They sure do.

[Eddie] But chickens come from eggs.

[Tom] Right.

[Eddie] Which came first? The chicken or the egg?

[Tom] Not even a father can answer that.

["Best friend" by Nilsson]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪

[scatting]

Tina, what are you doin' here?

What's he really like?

- Peter Stowe? - Yeah.

Well, you must remember it's been a long time

since I've seen him, but when I was in college

he was always broke, never had a clean shave.

But he was the writer in residence at your school.

Well, Peter Stowe is Peter Stowe

whether he's in residence or not.

You know, sometimes he would make lectures

sometimes he wouldn't, but he never missed a party.

Mr. Corbett, I don't wanna hear about that Peter Stowe

I wanna hear about the man who wrote "The Human Cry"

and "Decline of the Stars" and "The Last Child."

Well, Tina, I don't want to disillusion you

but I think we're talking about the same person.

Mr. Corbett, do you think the article he writes

for you will be filled with social significance

and s-searching commentary and human compassion?

Well, I certainly hope so.

Or I'm not gonna pay him.

Mr. Corbett, how can you talk about such

a great man so casually?

[Peter] Corbett! Tom Corbett.

Is that him?

Thomas Corbett, Managing Director.

Well, look at us. Mr. Establishment.

Tucked behind your lunch and your paper work

and your, your secretary.

Pete, it's good to see you.

- It's lucky, lucky to see me. - Lucky, lucky.

Because I hate elevators, Thomas.

I hate... Why can't executives settle for the ground floor?

What? And undermine our status?

Who is this?

Oh, pardon me, yes, may I introduce

one of your most devout

and loyal fans, Miss Tina Rickles.

Mr. Stowe, I just, you have no idea

what a thrill this is for me.

I have read every single one of your books

and I absolutely agree that we are caught

- in a fierce struggle... - Tina...

...with the cosmic forces of evil that are

constantly trying to engulf us

and we are confided with the overwhelming task of--

- Tina? - I, I'm sorry.

I, just seeing you, I, I just got carried away.

Yeah, well, that's, uh, yeah, that's, uh...

completely under-understandable.

- Thank you. - And, and...

I wanted to tell you that I

just adore the way that you

uh, that you agree with everything I say.

- Thank you. - Tina.

Lunch.

Oh, um, goodbye, for now.

Well, what can I say, except thank you very much.

She will not be the same for two weeks.

Animal magnetism.

[chuckles] You know somethin', Tom?

It is good to see you.

Pete, it's very good to see you too.

And I would like to thank you for accepting that article

because, uh, frankly I didn't think you would.

You know somethin', Tom, I'm not very often

in this part of the world.

But the '70s and beyond, that's a highly provocative idea

for a magazine article.

I like it. Really do.

Give me a chance maybe to shake up some of your readers.

That's exactly what I want you to do.

And what I wanted to do is to see you.

See what kind of a mess you'd made of your life.

Maybe shake you up a little bit.

Pete, I don't know what I was worried about.

You haven't changed at all. I mean, at all.

[chuckles] Look who's talking.

Slim, trim, fashionable.

And management all the way.

Heartless editor of a college magazine.

Now the heartless editor

of a money-making machine.

You are a commercial colossus.

And, Pete, you are outrageous.

You will say anything to swing an invitation

to dinner, won't you?

Well, in any case, there I was

in the middle of a bullring

before thousands and thousands of Spaniards.

- Wow. - Would you like more coffee?

No, thank you.

Mr. Eddie's father?

No, thank you, Mrs. Livingston.

[speaking Japanese]

How's his accent, Mrs. Livingston?

Oh, it is excellent.

One would think he was Japanese.

Well, I-I lived, uh...

near this girl in Tokyo, uh, for a year.

She was a remarkable teacher.

Mm-hmm.

What about Spain?

Well, eh, in Spain as it happens

I met a very fine teacher there--

No, I mean, how'd you get in, inside the bullring?

Oh, well, inside the bullring.

Let's just say I was feeling quite healthy and--

Stimulating your corpuscles.

Yes, uh, stimulating my corps...

And what I did, Eddie, what I did was

feeling as healthy as I was feeling

I just leaped right over the fence

and there I was in the middle of the bullring

with thousands of people around me.

What happened?

As everybody was yelling "Ole! Ole!"

- So I pulled a Cordobes. - What's that?

Now, Cordobes is a very famous and brave Spanish bullfighter.

And what he does, see, he gets down on his knees

and he walks up to the bull.

He looks him in the eye, and bumps him in the nose.

You did that?

- I did that. - How'd the bull feel about it?

Somehow the bull knew that I wasn't Cordobes.

What happened?

Well, I began to realize that I could be killed.

So, what I did...

And I jumped right over the fence again.

And I left Spain the next day.

Oh, where did you finish your book?

On a Greek island, where the most aggressive animal

was a lame old goat that you would've loved.

A goat?

[laughs]

Why, you've really done a lot of exciting things

and been in a lot of neat places.

Yes, I have, my boy.

That old goat.

Being a writer is really somethin', isn't it, dad?

Yes, it is, sport, if you're a good one.

And Pete is a good one.

You know, in college your father was considered

to be a very fine writer himself.

- You were? - I did a little writing, sport.

But nothing important.

He wrote half a novel, Eddie.

Yeah, I remember.

And it was very, very, good.

It was considered to be...

...ahead of its time, if you know what I mean.

You never told me anything about you writing a book.

Well, probably because, uh...

...that was ancient history, sport.

Oh.

Boy, Pete had some exciting life, huh?

Oh, he sure has.

Are all those things he told us really true?

Yes, I imagine they are.

I think he's probably done a lot of other things

that he hasn't told us about too.

How come you never became a writer?

Well, I thought of it once.

And there was a time that I thought it might have been

a very exciting kind of a life.

Then why didn't you finish your book?

Oh, I don't know.

I found a job that I, I liked an awful lot

and then I married your mother.

And then, hey, you came along, right?

So, I figured, well, maybe life is exciting enough as it is.

Let's see your mouth. Attaboy.

You mean, if you had become a writer

you would never have gotten married.

It's hard to know what you'd do if you'd done something else.

If you wouldn't've married, I wouldn't have come along.

Mm-hmm. That's right. You wouldn't have.

- Well, I'm glad to be here. - Yeah, me too.

I'd really like to read your book sometime.

Well, it's really only half a book

and I don't even know where it is.

Too bad.

You know, it's probably just as well. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

♪♪

- Tina. - Uh-huh.

Tina, it is I, Tom Corbett.

- Oh, hi, Mr. Corbett. - Hello, Tina.

What are you reading that's so absorbing?

- Maybe we should print it. - I think we should.

It's a copy of your novel.

- My novel? - Well, your half novel.

- May I see that please? - Uh-huh.

- Tina, where did you get this? - From Peter Stowe.

He said to give it to you when you came back.

- Did he? - Mm-hmm.

Did he also tell you to read it?

Uh-huh. He said I would love it. And I do.

Where, uh, where is Mr. Stowe?

In that office that you gave him.

Yes, that was my second mistake.

- What was your first? - Hiring him.

♪♪

[Peter] Hi, Tom.

What is that?

That's, uh, that's a manuscript. You gave me that to read.

- Yes, ten years ago. - Yeah, well, I read it.

And we discussed it, and you copped out.

No, I got busy. Busy, you understand?

Yeah, well, fortunately for you I never throw away

good friends, good management.

Then maybe you should've given it back to that good friend

instead of to his secretary to read.

Uh, did she like it?

What does that have to do with it?

- Come on, now, did she like it? - Well, uh, yes, she did.

Well, uh, you see, we both know she likes good writing.

No, no, no, no, no, no, look, Pete.

If I was not destined to remain in your hall of fame

I would think that at least

you could've quietly returned it to me.

So you could quietly put it in your bottom desk drawer?

Yeah, well, that's where it's gonna end up anyway.

I just wanted you to have another opinion besides mine.

I mean, I just wanted to encourage you.

Ten years ago, that was ahead of its time.

Today however, I don't know, when you finish it...

What do you mean when I finish it?

Yes, finish it. Because it's good!

Now, I've made a few notes in the margin.

- A couple of suggestions. - No.

- Give you a few ideas. - No, no, Pete!

Pete, you don't understand, I don't have time

to finish a novel.

What are you doing that's so important?

I'm running a magazine.

A lot of guys

can put out a magazine.

Not as well as you can.

But they can still put it out.

The thing is, they can't all write.

- Oh, Pete-- - As well as you.

Well, Tom, listen to me.

You've got something to say, man!

You've said half of it, say the rest of it.

Alright, I'm an editor. I'm not a writer.

A lot of men have started new careers later in life than you.

Gogan, he was a banker.

Schweitzer, Schweitzer was an organist.

- Ronald Regan. - Oh, come on, now!

Are you suggesting that I just, I just throw everything over now

and take off for some Greek isle?

Start playing with a lame goat?

Well, Eddie would love it.

Boy, you really are a mover, now, aren't you?

First, first you disorient my secretary

then you charm my housekeeper.

At least, I didn't disorient her.

Captivate my son, and now

you're trying to get me to change my life around.

No wonder, you can't stay in any one place

for any long period of time.

They won't let you.

Why don't you just take the manuscript

read it, maybe finish it.

And then we'll talk about it.

Why don't you finish your article for me

and then we'll see what happens.

- I'm working on my article. - Is that right?

- Yes. - Is that right?

Well, then tell me something, Peter!

- What is all this? - This is all clay.

You see, when I'm working, and I'm, I'm anxiety-ridden

I work in clay, it relaxes me.

- Does it really? - Yeah.

- Well, I don't believe that. - Well, it's true.

Now, look at you, standing there all uptight and nervous.

- And me, me, calm, relaxed. - Calm, relaxed, huh.

Why don't you take your manuscript? Take it!

Read what you've wrot.

- Read what I've wrot? - Yeah.

[Tom] Hello everybody!

Hi, dad!

Hi, Mrs. Livingston, how are you?

Well, hey, you've given up doing homework

before dinner, have you?

Oh, you have? Come on, now, where's your homework?

- It's right there. - Ah.

I was talking to Mrs. Livingston.

Oh, I see.

Hey, what's that?

This is, uh, half of a novel.

- Yours? - Mm-hmm.

Pete found a copy of it.

Is it any good?

Well, it's not half bad, if I say so myself.

You writing a book, Mr. Eddie's father?

No, no, I'm...

Well, uh...

I haven't really decided yet.

- Well, I think you should, dad. - Oh, you do?

Yeah, that way we could go to Greece

and Spain and even Japan, just like Pete.

Yeah, well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay?

No, I'd really like that.

You know, now that I'm here you could take me with you.

Oh, well, there's a lot more to it than just taking off, sport.

Yeah, but you could finish the book.

- And it could happen. - Anything could happen.

I mean, if Gogan can do it...

And Schweitzer can do it...

Regan can do it...

Corbett can do it.

[intercom buzzes]

Yes, Tina?

[Tina] Mr. Corbett, it's 5:20.

Hmm. Thank you.

- Thank you, Tina. - Good luck!

Thank you.

Mr. Corbett, I want you to know that

I really admire what you're doing.

- Thank you, Tina. - Just keep going at it.

- Yes, I will. - And I know you can do it.

Well, please stop encouraging me.

You're undermining my confidence.

Ah, the night shift!

Well, the day shift doesn't seem to be

accomplishing much writing, huh?

Well, you can judge my progress by the progress of the castle.

You see, when the castle is all done...

- my article will be finished. - Oh, is that the way it works?

Well, look, don't interrupt my rhythm, routine or momentum

or I'm never gonna get any part of this book finished.

You know, I really admire what you're doing.

It's too late. I've already been admired.

How's it coming?

Well, I must say, I admire myself.

Of course, it's a little

difficult to maintain the discipline.

Yeah, I understand that.

But I do like this office. It's a good place to work.

I've tried.

- Only kidding! - Ha ha!

[knock at door]

Come in.

Mr. Corbett, New York is calling.

Well, just tell them I've gone for the day, will you, Tina?

But they said it was very important.

Tina, if I made an exception

for everything that was important

I would never finish this book.

- Oh, yeah, I'll tell them that. - No, Tina...

Just tell them I'll be back tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

Well, good evening, Mrs. Livingston.

Mr. Eddie's father.

Oh, sorry I'm so late.

I was working on my book, and lost all track of time.

Oh, I see.

Everything alright?

Well, yes.

Yes, uh, but?

Well, we were expecting you home to go with Eddie

to his open house at school.

Tonight? I...

I thought that was tomorrow.

No, it was tonight.

I called you at office, but there was no answer.

I was working in the one without a phone.

- Yes, I thought so. - Well, did you take him?

Oh, yes.

Was he upset?

No, he was not upset

but I know he would rather go with his father.

But he understand that you're very busy

and he also understand it is necessary.

Thank you, Mrs. Livingston.

What I've done, really

is to shut out the world as much as I possibly can.

[Peter] You have to shut out the world

if you want to get anything done.

Especially you. Situation like this.

Mm-hmm. That's okay for the world

but for Eddie, huh?

No, no.

I thought you said Eddie understood.

He does understand, it's just...

I don't like it.

You really want to spend a lot of time with Eddie?

Then finish the novel, and get it published.

That is no guarantee of success. Now you know that.

[Peter] There's no chance of success otherwise.

You've worked very hard on this thing

and what you've done is good

so why toss the whole thing away now?

The hard part starts now.

It's painful, it's lonely, requires a lot of discipline.

But the point is, you've got talent.

So you ought to use it.

You should've used it years ago.

Maybe.

But...

...I don't know.

Oh, I do know.

♪♪

Well, good evening.

May I ask what you're doing up so late? Hmm?

I've been writing a story under the covers.

- Under the covers? - Yeah, with my flashlight.

With your flashlight, huh?

I hope you don't do that too often.

No, it's the first time I've ever done it.

Is that right?

Never read a comic book or anything like that

under the light, huh? Huh?

Well, I mean, the first time

I've ever written anything.

Oh, I see, written anything.

Mm-hmm. Well, don't do it too often.

Okay. It's my first story. You want to hear it?

Oh, since it's your first story.

- Yes, I'd like to hear it. - Okay.

Hop on.

♪♪

- Start. - Okay.

"The Big Shootout at Tombstone Gulch.

By Eddie Corbett."

How does that sound?

That sounds just marvelous, particularly, the author's name.

Eddie Corbett. Very good.

"It was just about noon time

"when the whole thing started to happen.

"Rick Bradley was the sheriff.

"He was walking along the street

with his hand near his six-shooter."

I wanted to say poisoned over his six-shooter

but I didn't know how spell it.

"Poisoned?" I think you mean...

Poised over his six-shooter, huh?

Yeah.

Well, look, here.

"Poised." Okay?

- Alright. - There you go.

Okay.

"When all of a sudden, Blackjack Bingam

"rode around the corner, on a sort of

brown horse with a mustache."

Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Who had the mustache? Blackjack Bingam or the horse?

- Sounds like the horse, huh? - Yes, it does, doesn't it?

It'd be better if Blackjack shaved.

- You think so? - Yeah.

Well, that's your decision, of course.

You're the author.

- Okay. - Okay.

I think I better work on this a little bit more

before I read it to you.

Alright. Okay.

You know, writing a story is pretty hard, isn't it?

Uh-huh. And not as easy as people think it is.

Yeah. How you doin'?

Oh, I'm doin' alright.

I'm still making a few decisions myself.

You'll figure 'em out.

Oh, thank you, I hope so.

And even if you don't, it's nice to have you home.

But it's nice to be home.

And don't worry about me.

You know, the other night, when Mrs. Livingston and I

went to the open house?

Yeah.

Well, she said that fathers make

sacrifices for their sons

and sons should make sacrifices for their dads.

- Is that what she said? - Yeah.

And I'm not really making a sacrifice for you.

I just want you to do what you're doing.

Okay. I'll just go ahead, and I'll do what I'm doing.

And I think it's time for you to go to bed.

- Okay. - And...

I love you.

I love you too, dad.

♪♪

Hey... no more flashlights.

Okay.

♪♪

[doorbell buzzing]

Well, you only deliver castles at this hour?

Well, I thought Eddie might like it.

He'll love it.

- Nice, huh? - It's beautiful.

And I thought you might like this.

Oh, that's beautiful too. The article.

The '70s and beyond.

You did it in a hurry, didn't you?

Well, I thought you were getting a little nervous

so I wrapped it up.

More importantly...

How are you doing?

Fine. I, uh...

I had a number of decisions to make, and, uh...

- I made 'em. - Good. Very good.

I'm gonna stop writing the book, right where it is.

You're kidding me, right?

Mm-mm.

To quote a number of other writers...

"I couldn't be more serious."

Well, wait a minute, Tom, you can't...

- You can't stop now. - Oh, yes, I can. Yes, I can.

As a matter of fact, Pete, I did it once before.

- Yeah, but then-- - I-I-I...

I didn't know the reason, Pete.

I'm just sorry it took so long to find the reason.

Well, what was the reason?

I want to do something else.

Pete, try to understand something.

I don't want to isolate myself.

I don't want to shut myself out.

I like my job. I feel it's very worthwhile.

And, it puts me in a position of hiring

talented people like you.

Alright, I may never fight a bull in Spain.

Nor an old golden Greece, or live, uh...

near a girl in Tokyo.

That's alright. You should do it, Pete.

You really should, because it's you.

But not me.

Because it isn't my style.

Hey, Pete, come on.

Surely, if anybody can understand, you can.

Well, look, if you, uh...

...if you say so.

I say so.

And I do want to thank you very much.

For your encouragement.

And your enthusiasm...

...and your craziness.

♪♪

But, Pete, I say so.

♪♪

Wow! What's that for?

That, fast daddy, is for you.

[Tom] Well, look, uh, sport, don't you think, maybe

you ought to look at it tomorrow?

- Oh, why don't you let him-- - No, no.

He's got to get some sleep. You don't realize, he just--

How much longer am I going to be here? Huh?

You know how people are with me.

Always trying to get rid of me, let him stay up.

Pushy, pushy, pushy!

- Alright. - Listen, Eddie.

I modeled this after a very, very famous castle in France.

- Wow! Were you really here? - Was I?

I stayed right in 14A and 14B in this tower.

Did it have a moat?

Did it have a moat?

[Tom] Uh, did it have a moat?

Yeah, well, I think, I left the moat in the cab.

Could you swim in it?

Could you swim in the moat, Eddie?

Yeah.

Dad, what's paper made out of?

Well, it could be made out of many things.

Usually they use wood.

You mean, books were once trees?

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

What kind of trees?

Well, different kinds.

What kind would you use for a book?

Well, that depends.

For a comic book, I'd use a peanut bush.

[chuckles] Not bad.

Alright, how about an encyclopedia?

I think maybe a very serious oak.

How about a telephone book?

If there's a chance to save some trees and help ecology, dad

I'd use the wood from telephone poles.

- Really? - Yeah.

[Tom] Well, then, where would you string all the telephone lines?

It's not easy to help ecology, is it?

♪ People let me tell you about my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ People let me tell you about my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you about my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you about him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪