Original subtitles

[birds chirping]

Did you ever hear of a Baker's Dozen?

Oh, sure.

What is it?

Well, a regular dozen is 12

but a baker's dozen is 13.

How come bakers get one extra?

Well, they don't.

They give one extra.

The next time Mrs. Livingstone makes cookies

I'll ask her to make a baker's dozen.

Oh.

Gee, dad, lately, when I open my mouth

I don't know what's comin' out.

[theme music]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy my up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

Mrs. Livingstone, what time is it now?

Oh, you asked me just two minutes ago.

Isn't it kind of late for dad to be comin' home?

It only seems late to you.

Sure would be nice if he could come home early.

He will be home at the usual time.

Sure wish he'd get here.

Eddie, when you have a surprise

part of the fun is waiting.

Yeah, but that's not the best part of the fun.

Excuse me.

Aren't you excited?

Yes.

You sure seem calm.

Boy, I can hardly wait.

Hey, he's here.

- Hey, dad. - Huh, hello, hello, everybody.

- Hi, Mrs. Livingstone. - I've got a surprise for you.

Easy, easy, easy.

I hope it's not a strenuous surprise.

- 'Cause I'm very tired. - No.

Just sit down there and wait, okay?

I'll just stand around, if you don't mind.

I'll lick the bowl and everything. Oh, boy.

- What a day. - You had a hard day?

Well, it wasn't so hard as it was, just a lot of bickering.

You know, how that can just tire you out.

- Yes. - Hm.

But, tonight, nothing

nothing I'm going to do, nothing but relax.

Nothing but peace and quiet.

- Well... - What? What is it?

Oh, nothing.

I think it is nice to have peace and quiet.

Yeah, you do.

Hey, dad, look!

♪♪

I think my plans have just changed for this evening.

It's a saxophone!

Yeah, uh, well, I-I know it's a saxophone, sport

but where did you get it?

From Billy Gerber.

His father bought it.

Oh, he doesn't want it, is that it?

Nah, he took a couple of lessons

then he quit.

Oh, so he's lending it to you.

Yeah, and he's hoping I'll buy it, so his dad

will stop hollerin' at him.

Uh-huh.

Well, you can't just

pick up a saxophone and play it

you know, what about lessons?

Oh, I can get those free at school.

Free? Oh, well, let's make sure I understand this.

You, uh, you borrowed the saxophone from Billy Gerber

you think you might like to play

and you can get free lessons at school, is that right?

- Yeah, okay? - It's more than okay, sport.

I'm delighted you're going to study an instrument.

I think you're going to have a lot of fun with music.

[saxophone music]

"C, D, E, F."

Okay...

[saxophone music]

"A, B, C." Okay.

[saxophone music]

- Hey, Mrs. Livingstone. - Yes?

That's the same as do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do, huh?

Yes.

How am I doing?

For only three days

I think you're doing very well.

Is that another way of saying rotten?

Continue.

Okay.

[doorbell rings]

[saxophone music]

- Oh, hello. - Mrs. Corbett?

No, I am Mrs. Livingstone.

I am Mr. Corbett's housekeeper.

- And I am-- - I know.

You are Major Pritchett, our neighbor.

- No. - No?

You're not Major Pritchett, our upstairs neighbor?

No, I'm Major Pritchett

your angryupstairs neighbor.

[saxophone music]

Eddie, could you stop for a minute?

Could you stop forever?

♪♪

[Livingstone] Major Pritchett, what can I do for you?

[Pritchett] You can restore the status quo.

I want peace and quiet.

Eddie's practice disturbs you?

That's another way of putting it.

Oh, I will tell Mr. Corbett about this.

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything.

But more important, don't you play anything.

This has got to stop. That's a good lad.

♪♪

[Tina] Sign here.

- Alright. - And sign here.

Alright.

- And sit there. - Alright.

And tell me how Eddie's doing on his music lessons.

Well, I don't really know.

What do your ears tell you?

Well, my ears tell me

"Ouch!"

And also, "Be patient."

- Oh, sort of like the oboe? - Hm?

An ill wind that nobody blows good?

Oh, Tina, no, he's doing, he's doing pretty well.

I mean, considering how short a time he's been playing.

I'm really glad he's excited about music, too.

Um-hm. All the world loves a musician.

- Mm-hm. - Hm.

[telephone ringing]

Mr. Corbett's office.

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Yep, he's right here, cannonball.

Uh, no, that's a nickname for a saxophone player.

[chuckles] Okay.

- Hi, sport. - Hi, dad.

- We got trouble. - What kind of trouble?

- Major Pritchett was here. - Our neighbor?

Yeah, and he wants me to stop playing my saxophone.

Really? For how long?

Well, from the way he said it

I think he meant forever.

Well, maybe I better speak to Major Pritchett

and have some kind of understanding, huh?

I don't think it'll do any good.

Well, the British have a very fair sense of justice.

Does that include saxophone playing?

They gave us the "Magna Carta." That included everything.

Now, I'll stop by at night on the way home and, uh

we'll get it straightened out, okay?

Okay, dad. Bye.

Okay, sport, bye-bye.

♪♪

Hm. All the world does not love a musician.

[Tom] And so I thought it would be best

to clear the air about Eddie's saxophone playing.

[Pritchett] I think it would definitely be a good idea to clear the air

onEddie's saxophone playing.

[Tom laughs] Well...

Seriously, major, we were very anxious not to disturb you.

Swell. I'm very anxious not to be disturbed.

But, of course, he has to practice sometime.

Why?

Uh, th-the question is

when will it disturb you the least?

That's really hard to say.

Anytime disturbs me. I'm at home, all day.

Oh-oh, you are, well, then

if you could give us a convenient time

we would like very much to adjust accordingly.

I don't think you quite understand.

I don't want any...

...saxophone playing.

Oh, ahem, well, Major Pritchett

I don't think you quite understand.

You can't have that.

Oh, but I can.

If you want war

I'm familiar with war.

No, no, no, major

I want peace.

But I want a just peace.

Good evening.

[squawks]

[birds chirping]

[saxophone music]

I'm finished, Mr. Eddie's father.

Goodnight.

Eddie, co-could you hold that down for a second, please?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Livingstone, I didn't hear you.

- Goodnight. - Oh, goodnight, goodnight.

Goodnight, Eddie.

I'm sorry about the squeaky saxophone.

Well, you just started.

For a flower to bloom

the seed must be planted.

I'm not much of a gardener either.

Oh, well, sport, anything worthwhile takes time.

- How much time? - Well, I don't know.

How long does it take to make a great football player?

I asked you first. Besides, what about Major Pritchett?

Well, I'll, uh, I'll take care of Major Pritchett.

Now, you say goodnight to Mrs. Livingstone

and back to the sax.

- Goodnight, Mrs. Livingstone. - Goodnight, Eddie.

It takes time, you know, to give it a fair try.

A fair try on this case means him doing the early stages.

A baby bird does not fly very high.

No, little horses do not run very swiftly.

Goodnight, Mrs. Livingstone.

[telephone ringing]

[saxophone music]

Hello, major?

You knew it was I?

Well, of course, you know why.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over your birds.

Corbett, this simply won't do.

Well, we would like to accommodate you within reason

but we're certainly not willing to surrender unconditionally.

Then I warn you

I know how to organize a campaign.

Oh, major, instead of warning us

why don't we try to cooperate?

Goodnight, son.

We got trouble.

Yeah, well, uh, don't worry about it.

Okay, back to the saxophone.

[saxophone music]

[thudding]

[birds chirping]

[thudding]

♪♪

Dad, why don't you just get a broom

and pound back up on the ceiling?

Eddie, that is not the way to do it.

Can I stop playing now?

Why don't you play five more minutes?

Okay.

[saxophone music]

[thudding continues]

You always told me to be

considerate with the rights of others.

Yes, I still feel the same way.

But you've got rights too.

Well, then, maybe playing the saxophone

isn't all that important.

Maybe it isn't

but protecting your rights is

and I don't intend that anybody take advantage of you.

You take care of me, pretty good.

Well, thank you very much. I try, my boy, I try.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

[footsteps thudding]

[bagpipes music]

♪♪

Ah, Corbett.

I thought it might be you.

- Major, this is foolish. - I agree.

Do you agree to stop the saxophone playing?

Oh, now, major, there is a world of difference

in playing a musical instrument at reasonable hours

and deliberately disturbing people during the night.

That's, uh, it's a matter of opinion.

[doorbell buzzing]

What is it?

Oh, I'm sorry if I disturbed you.

Oh.

Oh, but you didn't really disturb me.

I-I think people ought to learn to live with one another.

Yes, I wish I could convince Major Pritchett of that.

Oh, yes, Pritchett.

- He's got all those birds. - Yes.

- Peculiar man - Yes.

- I-I'm Lorraine Carnes. - Oh, how do you do?

I'm Tom Corbett.

- Corbett. - Yeah.

You're the one with the saxophone.

My son plays the saxophone, yeah.

♪♪

[doorbell dings]

Yeah? Who is it?

Uh, open the door.

- Who is it? - Uh, Eddie, it's me.

What are you doing out there?

Just, uh, open the door

and I'll explain it to you.

You told me to never open up the door when I'm alone.

Eddie, open the door.

You won't be mad?

No, sport, I won't, I won't be mad.

Okay.

Thank you, very much.

What were you doing out there?

That's a long story. Let's go to bed, huh?

[bagpipes music]

What's that?

That's another chapter in a long story.

I'll explain to you in the morning.

[footsteps thudding]

♪♪

[sighs]

Get a person out in the middle of a busy day.

Doctors don't make house calls, why should lawyers?

- Because it's important, Sy! - Oh, yeah?

Got a million dollars at stake?

- Oh. - Justice, Mr. Freedom.

- Freeman. - Oh.

Why should the cause of justice

require me to trample all over town on fallen arches?

Oh, Sy, can we just get back to the point, please?

- What about the lease? - I read it, I read it.

I read it. There's prohibitions against unreasonable noise.

Alright, fine, then you tell me

what constitutes unreasonable noise?

I have a feeling this is gonna go all the way

to the Supreme Court.

One man's noise is another man's music.

- Who said that? - I did.

Have you got any carbonated water?

I've got indigestion, you wouldn't believe.

Oh, yes, Mr. Freeman.

Sy, will you please tell me

what else is in that lease?

Well, there's, uh, disturbing other tenants.

Well, that's interpretive, isn't it?

I mean, a tenant could claim

that cooking corned beef and cabbage disturbs them.

Now, will the law uphold that?

Not if they got an Irish judge.

[laughing]

Look, Tom

we could take him to court

if you could get on the calendar before Eddie goes to college

and maybe get an injunction.

But then, when this, uh, Pritchett started marching

and disturbing you, you'd have to call the police

actually catch him in the process

go back to court

and maybe they'll tell him to stop again.

Well, what about justice, Sy?

Huh? Justice.

Now, tell me, where in this lease

are our rights protected?

Where's the perfect world

were everything's as it should be?

- Great answer, Sy. - I'm your lawyer.

- Take my advice. - Which is?

- Be your own lawyer. - What?

This is one of those things where you must come to terms

with the man yourself, there's no other practical way.

Sy, that man, that man, he-he's in, he's in--

- Inflexible. - Inflexible!

Mm-hm, look, sooner or later

one of two things is going to happen.

Okay, fine. I'm all ears.

Just, just lay it on me.

He'll get tired of banging on the floor.

Uh-huh.

Or Eddie will grow up

and move away.

And this is the law that you serve?

This is the law that gives me indigestion.

[saxophone music]

How much longer do I have?

Ten more minutes.

♪♪

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Corbett.

Now, major, there's no sense complaining.

We've been all through this.

I didn't ring up to complain.

- No? - No.

But to tell you that a committee of concerned citizens

a jury of your peers, if you will

is meeting at my flat tonight to determine what steps to take

to overcome your stubborn disregard

of our rights.

Major, don't you think--

And if you wish

you may attend

and attempt a defense.

I see. What time is this kangaroo court convening?

- 8:00 p.m. - I'll be there.

Good. Oh, and one thing more.

- Yeah? - Dress casual.

♪♪

[Tom] Well, now, you're sure you'll be alright, Mrs. Livingstone?

- Oh, yes, I can stay. - Oh, fine, thank you.

Dad, what's going to happen at the meeting?

Well, I don't know, sport, I just hope that some

of the people there are going to be a little more reasonable

than Major Pritchett.

- It's a lot of trouble. - Yes.

But I think that an individual

has a right to do what he wants.

Yeah, and that's the point.

- What's the point? - I don't want.

You don't want what?

I don't want to play anymore.

[Livingstone] I know you want to play

but you just don't want

to bother people.

I know I don't want to bother people

but I don't want to play, either.

I found out that I don't like

to play the saxophone.

Oh, but, Eddie, you've only been playing it a short time.

I know, but the teacher says that we ought to know by now

if I have any talent, for it or not.

- And? - And he says no.

But, uh, Eddie

that's only one teacher.

I know, and he's right. I don't like it.

Oh.

So I thought you might want to know that

before you go up and fight about it.

Yeah. Yes, I-I, I see, thank you, yep.

Sorry if I disappointed you.

Oh, come on, how can you disappoint me, sport

when you tell me the truth?

Are you still going to the meeting?

- Yes, yes. - What are you going to do?

Well, in the words of musicians down through the ages

"I'm going to fake it."

And, so we all agree

we will conduct this hearing under Robert Fluor.

Uh, no, I don't agree.

But that's accepted parliamentary procedure

amongst civilized people the world over.

Well, I don't agree that it's a hearing.

But that's plain and simply out of order.

That's not out of order.

Why do you say that's out of order?

Oh, well, thank you, we're all here because my son

took up the saxophone and, uh...

All I'm asking, really, is, just some, uh

some co-operation in establishing hours

that he can practice, so it will be

of the least inconvenience to you.

I don't want any hours.

But, major, this is a democracy.

That's why we're having this meeting here, tonight.

Well, we are concerned here with protecting the rights

of the majority, as well.

- As the rights of the minority. - Precisely.

All I'm asking is your consent

to let my son play his saxophone

during reasonable hours.

Now, why should we agree to that?

Uh, well, because it is his right

and, and it's contributing to his education

and I just think that in living... we have to learn

to all cooperate with each other.

That all sounds very beautiful

but the point is, not agreement

it's a ruddy saxophone!

Look, major, I would even defend

your right to march and play that bagpipe

if I thought you were doing it for musical expression.

But for spite, and at 2 o' clock in the morning

I'm sorry, I can't go along with that.

- Was that you? - Purely self-defense.

- That's ridiculous! - That's terrible!

[clamoring]

Alright, listen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen.

I-I think I should now tell you that, uh, this whole thing

is strictly academic.

My son... has informed me

he intends to give up

his musical education.

You mean, he's not going to play the saxophone anymore?

Uh, no, no, he's, uh, he's not going to play the saxophone.

- Congratulations, Mr. Corbett! - Oh, thank you, sir.

Then we won.

Well, major, if after all we've talked about

uh, Eddie's giving up the saxophone

means that you've won, then I've lost.

Oh. Oh, no, that's not true, Mr. Corbett.

Bye. Bye.

My wife and I, we were convinced that you were wrong

but you convinced us that...

By the way, major, forgetting the bagpipes

your birds make an awful racket.

[birds chirping]

Oh, shut up.

♪♪

Have you returned that saxophone to Billy?

Yeah, but his dad sure wasn't glad to get it back.

Well, it is nice to play an instrument

but you have to find the right one.

[drum beats]

What is that?

- Oh, that's Mr. Hobson. - Yes, what is he doing?

Well, dad convinced at least one neighbor it's good to play.

Yes?

So Mr. Hobson took up the drums.

[drum beats]

Boy, did I have some dream last night.

Really, what was it?

I was running down this long hall.

I think it was at school.

Why were you running down the hall?

All the girls in my class were chasin' me.

Oh, I see. Well, what happened?

I came up to this big wall with only one door in it.

- Yeah? - But the door was locked.

- And you couldn't get through? - No.

And all the girls were closing in on you?

- Yeah. - Well, what did you do?

I woke up.

♪ People let me tell you ♪

♪ 'Bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra pa ra ra ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you about my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra ra ♪♪