Original subtitles

[Eddie] Why do we celebrate things?

[Tom] Well, to remember happy times.

[Eddie] Was when Columbus was born a happy times?

[Tom] Oh, for his parents, it was. Yes.

[Eddie] And then he discovered America

and we celebrate his birthday.

[Tom] Right.

[Eddie] What did I ever discover?

[Tom] Oh, you, you mean because we celebrate your birthday?

[Eddie] Yeah.

[Tom] You discovered me.

[Eddie] I like that.

[Eddie] I wish I could be born on the 4th of July.

[Tom] Why?

[Eddie] Well, then all the fireworks

would go off in the air and it would help your celebration.

[Tom] I have enough to celebrate on your birthday, Eddie.

I really do.I really do.

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

- Boy, that was good. - Hm. Yes, it really was.

Thank you.

I want you to know something. I think you are a master chef.

And next time Mrs. Livingston takes a day off

you have yourself a job if you'd like it, right?

- Right. - Right.

The guests inspired the menu.

Yeah. What do you call all this?

Franks and beans.

- Right. - Right.

- Now it's cleanup time. - I'll get it.

- She should go there, please. - Right.

Man's work is never done.

- See that? - Yes, hard to miss.

What is it?

Looks like a big calendar to me.

You got a bigcalendar.

Yeah. What I got is a big wall decoration.

Why do you have the circle around 11?

No reason. It just looks nice.

[Tom] Oh, yeah?

It wouldn't be your birthday, would it?

Uh, what's the matter with you?

What do you got against the number 11? It's a nice number.

I could've just as easily circled 15.

- But you didn't. - Is it your birthday?

What do you guys got against the number 11?

Why does it have to be somebody's birthday?

Ah. You didn't answer his question.

I also didn't do the dishes

and that's something I haveto do.

[chuckles]

Hm?

Oh.

Yeah. What can I do for you?

Is it really his birthday?

I'm sure it is. Yes.

Then why doesn't he say anything about it?

Well, he's probably just tryin' to be polite.

You know, he doesn't want us to make a fuss, I guess.

What kind of fuss?

Oh, like presents, throwing him a party.

- Hey. - Oh, you like that idea, huh?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Well, last year he gave me a party.

- And he gave me presents. - That's true. He did.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could do somethin'

like that for him too?

- A party? - Yeah.

That's a very good idea.

- Yeah, it is. - Alright, we'll do it.

- Good, but... - What?

We'll make it our secret.

It'll be a surprise party.

Okay, alright, okay. That is a good idea too.

Uh, what is a good idea?

Nothing. N-nothing, right? We were just sayin', um, uh

the-the numbers, uh, you were right.

Number 11 and number 15, uh, they're the same.

Hey, you changed my number.

Well, you said it didn't make any difference.

- It doesn't, does it? - No.

No.

So be sure and keep the 11th open.

We'll work out the details later.

And whatever you do, don't mention anything to Norman

because it's gonna be a surprise party.

Okay.

[sighs] Okay, Tina, look. Here's the list.

You wanna check it over and make sure I didn't forget any names?

Yeah, now do you think I can help

with the preparations or anything like--

Well, that's really Mrs. Livingston's department

but I know she could use some help.

Okay.

That was really some subtle hint to have wall-to-wall calendar

with the 11th circled in red.

I'm not so sure that was a hint.

It's just like Norman to circle his birthday just for kicks.

I mean, no particular reason...

Ah, Tina, you type that up and get it in the office

and I'll sign it as soon as possible.

- Hello, Norman. - Hello.

- Very misterioso. - What's that?

The mood around here. The strange way everybody's acting.

Oh.

Nobody mentioned anything?

- About what? - My birthday.

Are you having another birthday?

Tina, everybody has a birthday.

But why are we talking about yours?

Because mine's coming up this Saturday, the 11th.

[sighs] Has a year gone by already?

- Nobody said anything? - Mnh-mnh.

It seems like only yesterday.

Listen, I wanna tell you something.

I don't want anybodyto take any special notice on my birthday.

What kind of notice?

Any kind of notice. I mean it.

Not even a little card maybe?

Well, a little card maybe would be okay.

Yeah. What kind? Uh, with flowers?

Or a, a study with books and a pipe.

I know. A hunting scene with a dog.

Hey, a hunting scene with a dog would be terrific.

Okay. What are you doin' Saturday night?

- I, I have plans. - What kind of plans?

I-I have a date.

What's Tom doing Saturday night?

Oh, he and Eddie are-are going to watch

a few innings of hockey.

Look, Tina, I don't want anything

anythingdone about my birthday.

And please don't mention this conversation to Tom and Eddie.

'Cause in case I'm wrong, I wouldn't wanna embarrass 'em.

Okay. So it'll be Norman's house, 7 o'clock.

Why there?

Well, I just don't think he'd get suspicious

if it takes place in his own home.

- How can you get him there? - Ah, I don't know yet.

Maybe a pretense of business or somethin' like that.

I don't know. Leave it to me. I'll get him there.

- Good. - Yeah.

Okay, now here's the, uh, the time and the place.

And maybe you can coordinate the refreshments with Tina?

Yes.

And we'll definitely have a cake.

Oh, we're definitely gonna have a cake.

And we'll have to have candles too.

Lots and lots of candles.

Only three candles.

But Uncle Norman isn't three years old.

For adult, three. Three candles.

One for the past, one for the present

and one for the future.

But that way you don't know how old he is.

[chuckles]

Yeah, that's right.

Oh.

You know, Eddie is really turned on about this party.

- He is excited. - I know. So am I.

Let me see, Mrs. Livingston is taking care

of all the decorations and I just ordered a cake

from this great cake-making place.

- It's called a bakery. - Yeah, cake-making bakery and--

Look, I'm not really concerned about that, Tina.

What I am worried about is how we're gonna get Norman

out of his apartment, so that we can get in?

Yeah, I know. I've been thinking about that

and I remembered my aunt once gave a surprise party

for my uncle and she had his best friend take him out

for a drink while they were fixing the place up.

- Did it work? - Uh...

Well, not exactly the way she expected it to.

You see, they didn't come back for three days.

Oh.

But when he got back, he said it was

the most marvelous birthday he'd ever had.

Well, that's fine, I'll... Hello, Norman.

- Hi, Tom. Hi, Tina. - Hey, you're very up today.

Oh, sure, I'm up. I'm feeling good. I solved my problem.

Problem? What problem is that?

How to get through the terrible trauma

of having another birthday.

And I'm glad that you both respected my wishes

and are not doing anything about it.

Well, you said you didn't want us to do anything.

True, because I absolutely positively hate birthdays.

- You're kidding. - I'm not kidding.

I never ever in my entire life

have had a good time on my birthday.

I never ever in my entire life

have received a present that I really dug.

I never ever in my entire life

have had a party that came all smoothly.

Traditionally, my birthday's

become the worst day of the year.

Well, you never can tell.

Oh, I can. That's why I'm feeling good.

I've decided to do something about it.

- Oh. - Mm-hm.

You know that marvelous hotel, La Casa De Grande?

Uh, yeah. The big one up the coast?

I've always wanted to go there.

So I have a reservation for this weekend.

- This weekend? - Yes.

By the way, I have to take off a little early this afternoon.

- I hope you don't mind. - What... M-mind?

Min... No, of course, why would I mind?

I thought, I was thinking, uh

perhaps you could, uh, uh, uh, join me today.

For the hockey game.

I'm sure I can get another ticket.

Where are you gonna get another ticket?

The same place we got the other tickets.

- Yeah. - Thanks.

But no, thanks. I really have to get away.

Some place in the sun. Something different.

Something exciting. I'll have a great time at Grande.

You won't have a great time. You'll hate it there. You...

He won't like it, will he? He won't... You know why?

Because it's, it's got nothing in it, but famous people

celebrities. It's really a drag.

Nothing's perfect. I have some things to finish off.

Well, thank you very much. See you later. Yeah, bye.

Bye, Norman. If I don't get a chance to see you

have a nice weekend.

Well, one of us might as well have a nice weekend.

[telephone rings]

- Yes, hello. - Hi, dad.

Oh, hi, sport.

Mrs. Livingston got the greatest

stuff you ever saw.

There are horns and noise makers

and snappers and everything.

Oh, well, uh, that-that's great, sport. G-great.

And... Uncle Norman's gonna be so happy.

Oh, Eddie, that's, that's marvelous.

But, uh, look, you know, sport

it's possible something could come up.

I, uh, I wouldn't want you to get too excited.

What could come up?

You said that you could get him to come

and once he comes, he'll have a terrific time.

Eddie, you're absolutely right.

Once he comes, he will have a terrific time.

Look, I'll-I'll see you later, okay, sport?

Okay. Bye, dad.

Tina, there's only one thing to remember.

Once he comes, he'll have a terrific time.

I'll try to remember that.

But how are you gonna get him to come?

I don't know.

Ah, Norman, I don't know--

That work's comin' along just fine.

I'm gonna be able to leave early this afternoon.

Oh, old buddy, I'm sorry.

I just got a, uh, call from the home office.

I'm afraid they've canceled the entire picture layout.

We're gonna have to improvise.

You'll have to cancel your plans for this weekend

'cause we're gonna have to work.

Ordinarily I'd say yes, right?

And we'd go right into work and finish it, right?

But this weekend isn't ordinary. It's my birthday.

Ah, we'll spend it together.

I hate spending it with anybody.

Norman, social life is one thing, but work is another.

Don't I always work weekends when you ask me?

- Of course. - Just this once, don't ask.

But, Norman, this isn't a favor. This is work!

The layout isn't due till Wednesday.

What's the big rush? Why ruin my weekend?

Tina, we can't panic. Right?

Come on. Now we cannot panic, okay?

Alright, we have one strike against this, that's all.

But we're not out of the old ballgame yet.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that.

I thought we were doing very poorly.

Oh, Tina, please, thinkof something.

Anything at all.

Look at this. Look what I just got.

- What is it? - What is it?

Look at this. It's typed right here. Read it.

Well, let's... Well, will you give me that?

How can I read it if I don't have it, Norman?

- I can't believe it. Read that. - Thank you, thank you.

You're welcome. Read it. Go ahead.

"Dear Mr. Tinker, we regret the necessity

"for canceling your weekend reservation

"due to an unexpected visit by a group of foreign diplomats

and their host, the president of the United States."

Oh, whoopee.

"This visit makes unavailable the room set aside for your use.

"We trust you'll understand and will give us

"an opportunity to serve you soon.

Sincerely, The Manager, The Hotel De La Casa Grande."

Hm, another opportunity? Fat chance he's got.

Norman, that's the president of the United States.

Ooh, he's gonna hear from me the next elections.

Well, at least he wasn't tacky about the telegram.

Yeah, yeah, look how much money they spent on the telegram.

Oh, that does me an awful lot of good, doesn't it?

Okay, Norman, look, I know you're disappointed

but it does solve another problem.

- What other problem? - Working this weekend.

I am not working this weekend.

I just gotta find another place to go.

Well, it's too late to try to get reservations for tonight.

- Yeah. - Today it's too late.

Tonight it's too late. Tomorrow's another day.

Yeah, I like the nerve of them.

Is that what's known as strike two?

Hey, dad, look. Here's some more great stuff.

Oh, that's marvelous.

And I got some snappers and some confetti.

Those are, they're really super stuff, okay.

Mrs. Livingston picked 'em out, but I agreed.

Well, Eddie, Eddie, it really is marvelous stuff

but you know, sometimes people make plans--

Yeah, and that's the best part.

When people make plans, you can look forward to 'em.

You're really looking forward to this party, aren't you?

Sure I am. Don't go away. I wanna show you somethin' else.

[sighs]

[telephone rings]

- Hello? - Yeah. Hello, Norman.

- This is Tom. - Oh, hi. How are you?

[Tom] Uh, well, Norman, not too good.

Listen, I-I have a problem.

You got a problem?

Yeah, I don't know what you're so nervous about.

The deadline isn't till Wednesday.

We got plenty of time.

Well, it's, it's not only that. Listen.

[clears throat] Have you, have you made any other plans

for the weekend?

Yeah. I'm going to, uh, Cambria Pines.

I'm gonna leave around noon.

Well, I'm afraid you can't do that.

Look, uh, Norman, there's something that you should, uh--

Hey, dad. Look at this.

No, no, no. Sport, wait. Please, I'm on the telephone, huh?

Uh...

Uh, N-Norman, would you... Nor-Norman?

Norman? Norman?

- Hello, hello. What is it? - Oh, oh, alright.

N-Nor-Norman, look, uh

b-before you go, uh, out tomorrow

uh, could you just, uh, could you just stop by here, please?

I-I, it's really important. I-I would like to talk to you.

You know any-any time that's convenient.

You wanna know something? You're very persistent.

Look, I'll, I'll be there at 10:30, but I am not staying.

Oh. No, that's fine. Fine, I-I-I understand.

I will see you tomorrow.

- That was Uncle Norman, huh? - Yes, it was.

Mrs. Livingston, could you come in for a second, please?

- Yes. - Is everything okay.

Everything is super. I have just made a plan.

- What kind of plan? - The best kind of plan.

Norman will be out of his apartment tomorrow, right?

So then you and Mrs. Livingston and Tina can all sneak over

with the office staff and decorate.

- Hey, great. - Yeah.

He's gonna be here tomorrow morning at 10:30.

So we will pack the car by 10 o'clock

and then you can wait down in the garage.

As soon as you see him arrive, you know it's safe

pfft, off to his apartment.

How will you keep Mr. Tinker from returning home?

Well, I don't really know that yet.

But once I've got him here, believe me

I'll find a way of keeping him here.

Do you have a key to his house?

[Tom] No, no. That's the one problem we do not have.

He always keeps his sliding door unlocked.

Well, I guess that's everything.

Okay, it's 9:30. Let's load the car.

[doorbell rings] Mr. Tinker?

Okay. Everybody, hide, hide. Get it in there.

[clamoring]

Coming! Coming!

Tina.

Well, that's not the most enthusiastic greeting I've got.

No, it's not... I'm very glad to see you.

Alright, everybody, come on out. It's only Tina.

Yeah, only Tina. Only insignificant old Tina.

- Oh, Tina. - I'm kidding.

- Tina, what's in the box? - It's the cake.

- Should we look at it? - Hey, yeah.

[doorbell rings]

Alright, alright. Get back.

[clamoring]

- Oh, Norman. - Okay.

Well, you're early.

Yeah, I'm here. What do you wanna show me?

No, I didn't wanna show you anything, Norman.

I-I did wanna talk to you though.

You wanna sit down for a second?

Uh, uh, first of all, Norman, I wanted to, uh, to wish you

a happy birthday and I want you to know

I do appreciate your coming and it is your birthday

that I wanna talk about.

Now, Norman, I know that you've been disappointed in the past

but that doesn't mean you can go through life

continuing to expect disappointments.

Would you mind getting to the point?

Yeah, right, right. Of course, okay.

Well, the point of it is this.

Now, uh, ahem, people who expect disappointments

usually get the disappointment that he expects.

But then there are other people, Norman

other-other people, little people who, uh

who-who-who don't expect

or deserve, uh, t-to be disappointed by this person.

What person are you talking about?

Oh, I'm not, I'm not talking about a person, Norman.

I'm, I'm, I'm talking about a layout.

A layout? What's it about?

Uh, well, Norman, it's about time.

It's about being in the right place at the right time.

Speakin' of timing, I came early, I'm gonna leave early.

If there's anything you wanna discuss with me

I'd be glad to discuss it.

Yes, there, there is, Norman. There is.

I wanna discuss the layout with you.

You see, it's about, uh, it's about this guy

who had plans to go away for a couple of days.

You see, but then suddenly, he, he senses

something in the wind

so he decides to alter his plans.

Put off the trip for a little bit.

And, uh, you know what he does?

He changes all of his plans

and-and he decides to stay in town. You know what he does?

He goes straight to the beach and he stays there.

He stays there the entire day.

Are you understanding? He stays at the beach all day long

and he thinks about things. You understand?

And then when the sun starts to go down...

- About 7 o'clock-- - Wait a minute.

I don't think the sun goes down that early anymore.

At 7 o'clock, he goes home.

Do you understand? And then he lets nature take its course.

You know, Tom, I like the clarity of your thinking.

Oh. Oh, Norman. Oh, am I glad to hear that? Thank you.

Well, uh, you just have a nice day.

[Tom] Attaboy.

Hey, you guys, it looks so great.

Yeah, it's comin' along, isn't it?

- Norman. - What?

- Oh. - Oh. Hi, Alex.

- Hi, Alex. - Hi.

- Wow. Havin' a party? - Yeah.

- The place looks far out. - Hey, thank you.

- I'm just gonna use the shower. - Oh, okay.

- See you later. - Okay.

That, uh, that's Alex, a friend of Norman's.

He, uh, showers here.

Dad, is Uncle Norman really gonna come?

Well, I hope so. I expect him to.

But you had it all arranged and everything.

Yes, I had it all arranged

if he understood the arrangement.

Now give these to Mrs. Livingston.

He sure better come or else it won't be much of a party.

I think he will come.

[gasps] You know what? We forgot to look at the cake!

Hey, yeah.

♪ Happy birthday to Norman ♪

♪ A happy birthday to Norman ♪

♪ Happy birthday to Norm... ♪♪

"Congratulations on your bar mitzvah, Bernie?"

Oh, no. I should've checked it. I should've checked it.

Ah, what? Tina, don't get too excited.

Dad, it's the wrong name and everything.

Well, yeah, but the cake will taste just as good.

But, dad, it still is the wrong name.

Hey, Uncle Norman is a grown man. He'll understand.

- I'm so sorry. - Oh, Tina, that's alright.

If you wanna be sorry for somebody

feel sorry for poor Bernie.

- I'm getting worried. - I have not stopped worrying.

- Dad, what time is it? - Oh, sport. It's awfully late.

I'm just afraid he's not gonna... There he is!

Mr. Tinker?

- I think the door's locked. - It was open before.

Oh, I think I accidentally locked it.

Oh, okay, alright.

Eddie, you go ahead and sneak down to the door

and just reach around, unlock it, then hide, okay?

- Alright. - Quiet now, quiet.

Surprise!

[all] Surprise!

- Surprise! - Happy birthday.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Norman. You... Come on, you didn't know.

A surprise party!

Ah! Ah!

- And you got a cake! - Yeah.

"Congratulations on your bar mitzvah,Bernie."

Uh, we had a little problem with the cake.

Yeah, you wouldn't believe

how tough this surprise party has been.

- Yeah. - Well, don't worry about it.

So far, folks, the party's terrific.

Yeah, well, if you really feel that way, you gotta thank Eddie.

- It was his idea. - Thank you, Eddie.

And I want you to know this is the first time

I've ever really had a good birthday party.

No, tell the truth. Were you really surprised?

There were surprise parties and there were surprise parties.

But this is definitely a surprise party.

Here, this is for you.

- What is it? - Open it up and you'll see.

Here you go. It's a lava rock from a volcano.

Wow! What a great rock!

Isn't that terrific?

- Wow! - It's all for you.

Okay. Now look here. Open this.

"To Eddie, on my birthday."

I don't understand.

Eddie, what Uncle Norman is trying to say

is that he is very grateful to you

for giving him back his birthday.

You mean you lost it?

Let's say, I misplaced it.

Eddie, I'll tell you the truth. I really knew about this party.

But I also knew that you wanted to throw it for me.

When I heard that, it made me feel so good

I wanted to give the party back to you.

What I'm tryin' to say is, Eddie

besides your own birthday, I want you to have mine.

- Happy birthday. - Happy birthday.

- Tina. - Everybody, enjoy.

I could use a little...

I bet you could. I was so worried.

I thought you weren't gonna get here.

What are you worried about?

Just because a person doesn't go on the beach

where he's supposed to go, instead that person goes looking

for lava rocks and gets a little hung up.

I wasn't sure. I just wasn't sure. That's all.

You should have a little more confidence in the person.

Yes, I should. Happy birthday.

Here's one Uncle Norman forgot to open.

- Oh, yeah? - Oh, let's see it.

[grunts]

"To Norman. With love Norman."

Uh, Norman, something you forgot to open here.

- Oh. - Mm.

Uh, to Norman, with love Norman?

- Yeah. How come? - Yeah.

Ah, it's a little insurance policy

in case nobody came through.

- But you came through. - Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- Hey, Tom, you want it? - Uh, no, no, Norman, no.

It wouldn't be fair. It's your birthday.

Yeah. Happy birthday, Norman.

Yeah.

[laughs]

- Do fish go to school? - No, fishes live in schools.

[Eddie] Poor fish.

[Tom] Well, did you have a nice day today, sport?

[Eddie] I always have a nice day when we do things together.

- Are you getting hungry? - No.

- You wanna go home? - No.

[Eddie] Just wanna sit here and watch the fish.

[Tom] Yeah, they are pretty, aren't they?

[Eddie] Yeah, and smart.

They spend all their time in school.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪