Original subtitles

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪♪

[Eddie] I think my eyes look like yours.

- You know why? - No, why?

[Eddie] 'Cause I look at things the way you do.

[Tom] I see.

[Eddie] Dad, what do they mean by anti-paulution?

- You mean, anti-pollution? - Yeah.

Well, it's, um, it's an organized effort

to clean up the world that we live in.

[Eddie] Does that mean I've to take more baths?

People think an awful lot about money.

[Tom] Well, it's necessary, Eddie.

However, it's wise not to

give it too much importance.

- I try not to. Mm-hmm. - You do?

[Eddie] Then I guess you wouldn't mind another quarter

for my allowance.

[Tom] Hmm...

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

♪♪

[clears throat]

[coughs]

You're getting a cold, Norman.

I thought you'd never notice.

There is nothing controversial in the last week's issue.

Well, not the articles, maybe.

But the advertisement was very daring.

Well, then, why do they wanna talk to me?

If I knew what the why was, perhaps I could help you.

Now, the president of the, uh, of the PTA called

and she's coming by with a concerned citizens group

and they wanna talk to me this morning.

Oh, that's easy, they either want publicity

an opinion or a contribution.

No, it sounds more like a grievance committee to me.

Whatever it sounds like, I don't think

you have to worry about it.

Don't sweat it.

- Mr. Corbett - Mm-hmm.

- Mrs. Kensington is here. - Hmm?

♪♪

Well, maybe, you oughta sweat it just a little.

Ah-ha.

Alright, Tina. Would you show them in, please?

Mrs. Kensington.

Oh, Mrs. Kensington, how nice to see you again.

Mr. Corbett, it's a pleasure to be here.

I believe you've met Eddie's principal, Mr. Wertz.

- Yes, hello. - Hello.

And this is Mr. Taggart.

- Mr. Taggart. - Mr. Corbett.

Well, won't you please sit down and tell me

what "Tomorrow Magazine" can do for you?

It's not the magazine we're concerned with.

[chuckles] Frankly, I'm delighted to hear that.

Let us come right to the point.

- Yes. - Mr. Corbett.

We are all members of the ICCFPPA.

Uh, the ICCF--

The Involved Citizens Council

For Progressive Political Action.

Uh, I see.

It's a new organization

dedicated to reform in local government.

And one the areas in greatest need of reform

is our school board.

Yes, I'm inclined to agree with that.

We thought you would.

And when we told Mr. Taggart

of your valuable past contributions to the PTA

he perceived instantly

that you're the man we should talk to.

[Mrs. Kensington] Mr. Taggart is in public relations

but his avocation is politics.

I've been it for years.

Oh.

- Years? - Ever since high school.

I see, I see.

In any case, we all know the best way

to bring about reform

is to elect a man who can do the job.

Yes, that is the best way.

And with that in mind, the ICCFPPA wants

to get a man on that school board this election.

Oh, well, good. I will be glad to do anything I can to help.

We're glad to hear that, Mr. Corbett

because the man we want to elect is you.

♪♪

♪♪

- Norman. - Tom.

Hey, you're the king of timing. Come on in.

- Look what I just did. - Hm.

I straightened up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Oh, that's marvelous.

Why?

Because I've always wanted

to see what it would look like.

Well, it looks like a...

...like a lady who has had a facelift

and become more beautiful...

...and less interesting.

Looks like a lady who's had her facelifted.

- Mm-hmm. - And become more beautiful.

Well, that's interesting. That says it.

How did you make out with the grievance committee?

Well, it turned out

not to be a grievance committee.

And when I tell you what they wanted to talk about

you'll think I'm putting you on.

No, I won't.

They want me to be their candidate

for school board.

- You're putting me on. - No, I'm not.

- You serious? - They seem to be.

Well, that's terrific. I mean, that's a real terrific.

- Well, I'm very flattered... - Don't be flattered!

It is inspired. It's an inspired thought.

You're the only one I know who'd make such a great servant.

That's inspired thought.

Norman, what are you talking about?

A great public servant. You got everything you need.

- Like what? - Like me as a campaign manager.

- What? - Listen.

We'll make your name a household word.

Just think of it. "Orbit with Corbett." That's terrible.

- Yes, it's terrible. - Yeah, but it's catchy.

It's not as catchy as "Tip a canoe and Tyler, too."

Bully, Norman, bully!

But it is a little premature.

I have not committed myself yet. I may not commit myself.

- W-will you put that down? - Look.

It's a great opportunity, it'll open up

a whole new life for me.

- For you. - I'm happy with my life.

The point of it is, something like this

could change my entire life

and I, uh, I have to think on that.

- That's all. - Look, Tom.

As your Uncle Norman, let me give you some advise.

Yeah.

There's a tide in the affairs of man...

...and taking it to flood leads on to fortune.

That's very eloquent, Norman.

I heard it this morning on the radio.

- William Shakespeare. - No, it's the disc jockey.

Very high class. FM.

I'm hungry.

Well, then go to a restaurant

where you can expose yourself.

You need lots of exposure.

No, I don't need exposure.

What I need is food.

And I know where to get it. Goodbye, Norman.

♪♪

You make the best Italian spaghetti, Mrs. Livingston.

Here, here.

Thank you, Eddie.

It is from an old family recipe.

Dad, do they make Italian spaghetti in Japan?

I think that was a joke, sport.

Oh, well, I wish she'd tell us when she was making a joke.

So we could laugh for it at the right time.

Hm.

You know, dad, today Mrs. Livingston said

that a whole bunch of people called up

to elect you for the school board.

Yes, yes, th-that's right. Umm...

I think you could win.

Don't you think he could win, Mrs. Livingston?

Oh, yes, people do have confidence

in you, Mr. Eddie's Father.

They trust you.

Well, at least, they do around this house.

And if you're trusted by enough people in democracy

you can become mayor

or governor or even president.

Hey, that's right, dad!

Then you can get some extra school days off

for me and Billy Gerber.

How would I do that?

Declare a national holiday.

♪♪

[knock on door]

- Who's there? - Me.

Oh, come in, Tina.

- How are you, angel? - Fine.

Yeah. What's Tom doing?

Oh, well, the committee just left.

But he'll be busy for a while

'cause I gave him a letter to sign.

How long does it take to sign a letter?

Well, lately he's been reading 'em

before he signs 'em and it was a very long letter.

That's terrific. He's falling in love with his own prose.

That's the sign of a politician.

No, I think he just checks for mistakes.

Mm-hmm. What do you think of the pictures?

Help me select one for the campaign.

[laughs]

- I like that one. It's sexy. - Sexy, huh?

- Mm-hmm. - It's out.

Alienates the male vote.

[Tina] Oh. This one?

Tuxedo, huh?

Uh-huh, alienates the working class.

Well... trench coat is nice.

Yeah, trench coat. That suggests intrigue.

Very bad for a politician.

What else do you like?

I don't have much choice, do I?

I don't know, Norman. It's just so...

...so so-so.

So-so is perfect.

It offends nobody.

Now, the next thing we do is we gotta create an image.

Gotta get him some kinda color.

Now, you gotta convince the masses

that Tom is loaded with honesty, concern and vitality.

But Norman, Mr. Corbett is loaded

with honesty, concern and vitality.

It's not enough to just say it.

You gotta dramatize it.

You gotta give him color.

Oh, yeah. I see what you mean. Like...

He was born in a log cabin or something.

Yeah, that's a terrific image.

The struggle upwards from humble beginnings.

Was he born in a log cabin?

No, but he once spent the summer

in a bungalow at the beach.

That's not quite the same thing, Norman.

[Tom] Norman.

- Hi, Tom. - Hi, Mr. Corbett.

Am I intruding or anything?

Oh, no, no. We're just talking about the old days.

What old days?

The old, old days.

The old, old days?

- Mr. Corbett. - Huh?

When you were a little boy, did you have to travel

a long, long way through all sorts of terrible weather

to get to school?

Two blocks, in pure sunshine.

Rats!

Look, if you two are planning

a political campaign for me

I think it's a little premature.

- You mean you're not gonna run? - No.

I mean I haven't made up my mind yet.

So in the meantime, uh

before you make any political plans

or map out any campaign

why don't we get out the magazine?

That's right, Mr. Corbett.

That's just what we're trying to do.

Get this magazine out.

Good, in that case then

Tina, maybe you could do something about this, huh?

- Did I make a mistake? - Oh, yes.

Just down here at the end. You see?

What it should say is "Tom Corbett, Managing Editor."

What it does say is

"Tom Corbett, Member of the School Board."

- I'll do it over, sir. - Thank you.

Welcome.

Phew!

I was afraid he'd see this.

I thought it would help with the Italian folk.

Norman, there's something wrong with this picture.

One of them is crooked.

It's the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

And don't say crooked

until the election is over.

Would you care for a drink, Mr. Taggart?

No, thanks.

Uh, you don't, uh...

No, no. Only when I want one.

You know, there was a time people

liked politicians to drink.

- Well, I'm a publisher. - Yes.

- Mm-hmm. - So far.

But maybe after you see this research

you'll get off that fence and into our yard.

Hmm. You seem terribly confident that I can win.

I haven't lost an election

since my junior year in high school.

What happened there?

I don't know. Still can't figure out what went wrong.

But, nowadays, things aren't so haphazard.

How so?

Research.

- You see this? - Mm-hmm.

This is a composite portfolio

of 26 successful candidates

that we fed into our computer.

Hmm. And what the mighty computer have to say?

It says that you have virtually all the qualities

that make up a winner.

Youth, poise, drive, education

class, brains and heart.

You left out liver and pancreas.

Computers don't lie, Tom.

It's all right here.

Care to read it?

Hmm.

[chuckles] Oh-ho!

Now, look, I-I'm not even sure

that I am the political type.

All the better.

People don't want professionals any more.

They want the guy next door.

Who says so?

The polls.

- The voice of the people. - The polls.

Well, can the polls tell me what effect winning

might have on my family?

On me and my son?

It'll make demands.

But you've already discovered that.

Besides, I think your son's the most compelling reason

you have to run.

You owe it to him.

I haven't thought of it like that.

All things considered, Tom

you could have a tremendous political career.

There's no telling how far you could go.

I wouldn't throw something like that away.

[Eddie] Then you're gonna do it, huh, dad?

Uh, you'd sorta like that, huh?

That sure would be great.

Well, Eddie, look...

If I should win this election, you must understand

that it could change our lives.

What do you mean?

Well, when you hold a public office

there's all kinds of things that you have to do.

You have to give speeches

and you have to go to meetings.

All sorts of activities and I'm just afraid that...

...frankly, we might have to give up

some of our time together.

- We would? - Yeah.

And I just don't know that I would like that too much.

- Dad. - Mm-hmm.

Isn't being a school board member pretty important?

Mm-hmm, but I'm not sure

it's more important than us being together.

Well, if it was real important...

- I mean, really important... - Yeah.

I'd be willing to give up just a little bit of our time.

That's very generous of you, Sport.

Especially considering it's for school.

Yeah, but I figure

if you can do good for me

you can do good for other kids in the school, too.

Well, thank you very much.

- Goodnight. - Okay, goodnight.

- Hey, dad! - Yep.

Presidents get elected

just like school board members, don't they?

Oh, yeah, that's the way our system runs.

Then maybe, after the school board

you can run for president.

Easy, not too fast there.

I should start out a little slow there, I think.

May be run for senator.

Okay, dad, but I think you'd make a great president.

[laughs] Goodnight.

Goodnight.

♪♪

[Taggart] Corbett, our research shows you're a born leader.

You've got youth, poise, drive, education, taste

and most important, heart!

♪♪

[Norman] You've everything it takes

to make a great public servant, Tom.

[Mrs. Livingston] Just think of all those people

who are willing to vote for you.

It means that people trust you.

[Taggart] You could have a tremendous political career ahead of you.

[Mrs. Livingston] You can become a mayor or governor.

[Taggart] There's no telling how far you can go.

[Eddie] I think you'll make a great president, dad.

♪♪

[all] Goodnight, Mr. President.

Norman, are you almost finished?

Okay, but hurry. He's due any minute. Okay.

Mayday, mayday, he's here.

Hello, good morning, everybody.

Good morning, Mr. Corbett.

- Mr. Corbett? - Mm-hmm.

Is everything alright?

- Terrific. - Terrific.

Terrific. Right.

You wanna see me?

- He wants to see me. - Yeah.

[martial music]

What is this?

Well, you were hovering on the print.

So I said to myself, "Norman, why waste time?

"Why not do the spade work now, so that in case

Tom makes up his mind to do it we're all ready to roll?"

- Well, don't you-- - How do you like it?

Well, I think it's a little overstated.

I knew you'd love it. Look. We got bumper stickers.

And we're gonna have buttons. And listen to this.

"You win your bet with Tom Corbett."

Terrific, huh?

Well, it's very nice.

Nice? I'm holding out for terrific.

Terrific, you're not gonna get from me, Norman.

The committee is coming back here this morning.

Well, listen, um, have you decided

what you're going to do?

- I'm going to run. - Hey, that's terrific.

Oh, congratulations, Mr. Corbett.

- Yeah, congratulations. - Okay, okay.

Hey, that's enough, that's enough.

Hey, I haven't won an election yet.

That's only a mere technicality.

Would you tell us, what made you

make up your mind to run, sir?

Well, I'd like to say that it is my, uh, my public obligation.

I'm sure, in a sense that's sort of true.

But really, it, it has to do with

uh, with what Eddie said.

- He talked you into it? - There wasn't so much to talk.

Just, really, it has to do with his existence.

See, I've been weighing the, the balance

between the differences it is gonna make in my home

and the good that I think I can accomplish for Eddie

and for other children his age just by getting involved.

And therefore, you decided to get involved.

Well, yeah, you know, since the committee seems to feel

that I'm-I'm right for it

and I-I really think that I could do the job, you know.

If I was just given, just time to learn it.

It would be a great experience.

Experience? Are you kidding?

You don't even know where this could lead.

Tom, you could get to be mayor

governor, senator. You could even be--

Board member! That's all, board member.

[telephone buzzing]

Yes. Oh, thanks, Sally.

- They're here. - Oh, we're ready for them.

Norman, come on. Will you just take

this stuff down off the walls?

I can't take it down. Hey, listen. Now that your hat's

in the ring, you gotta get used to all this jazz.

It looks like a sideshow around here.

Politics is part circus.

I see. Alright, well, go ahead and let them in.

Now, look, all you have to do is appear perfectly calm.

- Radiate confidence. - Mm-hmm.

And keep your acceptance speech short.

Why don't I just be myself?

- Hey, that's good, too. - Oh, boy. Alright.

Tina.

- The door! - Oh.

[Tom] Well, well, how nice to see you again.

May I please introduce my associate, Mr. Tinker.

Mr. Tinker, Mrs. Kensington, Mr. Taggart and Mr. Wertz.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Yeah, oh, I, I see you're noticing the things

that Mr. Tinker has put up on my behalf.

He's is trying to talk me into running.

Oh, I see.

We're just trying it on for size.

[Wertz] Oh, of course, Mr. Tinker.

It's quite, well...

It's quite, uh, uh, effective.

- Wouldn't you say, Mr. Taggert. - Yes, I think so, too.

Sure, sure, that's exactly--

Well, now, look. Let us get down to business. Alright.

Now, um... with regard to the candidacy

that you so graciously offered me

I'm, I'm very happy to say

I accept with a certain humility

and certainly a great sense of appreciation

for the confidence you've shown in me.

And should I win this election, I will attempt to fulfil

all the obligations of this office

to the best of my ability

using what knowledge and experience I have.

[clapping]

Um, there's something we want to discuss with you.

Yes, of course.

First of all, we want you to understand

that we don't lack confidence in your ability.

Oh, not at all. We understand perfectly

and we were very enthusiastic.

[Mrs. Kensington] On the other hand, since you have been a little slow

to declare yourself and we were

just last night offered

the services of another gentleman

who is enormously popular.

Uh, to be perfectly frank, Corbett, uh

this fellow could practically guarantee us this election.

Ah, well, then, that's what you-you came to tell me.

Yes. Uh, you see, the ICCFPPA can't afford

to be without a candidate this election.

[Taggart] And since you, well, uh, demurred

'we had to keep looking.

- Just in case. - Oh, yes, I see.

You still look like a winner, Corbett.

But he looks like a big winner.

Can he do the job?

Oh, yes, his qualifications are very impressive.

Good. Because that is the most important thing, isn't it?

Well, I'll tell you what are the circumstances, of course.

I withdraw my candidacy but I would like you to know

that I will support your candidate

till the end of this election.

- You're a very gracious man. - That's a splendid statement.

My pleasure. I believe in your cause.

Oh, and listen. Do-do you mind if I stop by your apartment

and pick up those computer analysis which I left?

Well, listen, why don't I just put them in the mail for you?

Uh, certainly, certainly.

- Goodbye. - Many thanks.

♪♪

Well, was my acceptance speech short enough?

Oh, it was fine.

It's your concession speech

we should have worried about.

Tom, listen to me. They're makin' a big mistake.

You'd be terrific on the school board.

No, listen, as long as they've got a good man

now, that's what, that's what really counts.

Anyway, I'm, I'm much happier here

as editor of this magazine.

Believe me.

However, I don't wanna let this occasion go by.

I cannot let this occasion go by

without first thanking all the people that

made this campaign possible.

All of those little people out there.

Both of you.

Who worked so long and so hard

on my behalf.

Who labored endlessly to create this mountain

of useless material.

Oh, yes, and just remember.

You won't have Tom Corbett to kick around any more.

[clapping]

Get out of here, will you?

Just go back to work, come on.

- There you are. - Thank you.

Welcome.

I don't see why we have to do this

on our own time on Saturdays.

Well, it just shows you how much integrity Mr. Corbett has.

He wouldn't want the magazine to pay for his campaign.

Oh, yeah. He's, he's really got a lot of integrity.

He certainly does.

You know, I'm glad he didn't get nominated.

How come?

Well, with his kinda integrity,

he'd have us working on Sundays, too.

- Right. - Right.

[Eddie] The teacher said you can tell if it's a boy or a girl

by looking into its genes.

[Tom] Is that all, Eddie?

[Eddie] That's it, dad.

Hey, our class is gonna go

on a field trip to the zoo next week.

[Tom] Well, that is nice, sport. You like the zoo, don't you?

- Most of it. - Oh, yeah.

What part don't you like?

[Eddie] The walking.

- Do animals have elections? - Uh, no, not that I know of.

[Eddie] Then how do they pick the ones they want to be the leaders?

[Tom] Well, they don't exactly pick 'em, sport. You see...

Animals just naturally follow the ones that are best suited.

Usually, the wisest or the most courageous.

Well, why don't people do that?

I don't know.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪♪

[scatting]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪