Original subtitles

♪People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

[birds chirping]

[Eddie] You know what's bothering me?

[Tom] What?

[Eddie] Growing up.

[Tom] Why should that bother you, Eddie?

I mean, it should be lots of fun.

[Eddie] Well, some days it is

but other days I really have big problems.

[Tom] Big problems?

[Eddie] See, when you're my size and are real small

they're big problems.

If you were afraid to do something, dad

why do they call you "Chicken?"

[Tom] Well, I guess chickens aren't very brave, Eddie.

[Eddie] Did you ever try to lay an egg?

[theme music]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person ♪

♪ Who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

Well, you all set, sport?

Yep, dad, all set.

Good, because that bus is going to be here

in just a few minutes.

Mrs. Livingston's got my jacket.

Oh, that's great. That's great.

I sure do hope we don't have to sing all the way to camp.

Why, don't you like to sing on camp buses?

- I hate to. - Why?

Well, the girls always sing faster than the boys, you know

and it's always the same dumb old song.

You know, it's just a mess.

Hm, yes, I know I, uh, I've been through it myself.

Well, I'm gonna get myself another cup of coffee.

Would you care for another doughnut?

No, just get me the hole.

[telephone ringing]

I'll get it.

- Hello. - Hi, Eddie, it's me, Joey.

I know it.

What are you doing?

Oh, nothin', just getting ready to go away

for the weekend to camp.

You're going away for the whole weekend?

Yeah, um

what did you want me for?

Nothing.

Have a nice time.

Okay, thanks.

- See ya. - Yeah, see ya.

- Who was that? - Joey Kelly.

Really, what'd she want?

I think she wanted to play

but I told her I was gonna go away.

Well, there we go.

- Hello. - Hi, I'm Brian Frisbee.

- Eddie's counselor. - Oh, yes, Tom Corbett.

Hi. Hi, Eddie.

Hi, Brian.

He'll be right there, okay?

- Uh, Mrs. Livingston. - Here I am.

Eddie.

Okay, sport, now.

You got everything? Are you all set?

- Yup, all set. - Except one thing.

- What? - Your toothbrush.

- Hm. - Oh, I almost forgot.

Yeah. Thank you, Mrs. Livingston.

Now, sport, look, you're going to camp.

I want you to go with the idea of having fun.

But I don't want you to worry about me.

Okay, dad, but, um

try not be too lonely.

Yes, I will try not to be... too lonely.

Three whole days of this?

Umm-hm.

Well, we could take a break

tomorrow or the next day

and, uh, go skiing.

♪♪

With all you have to do at the office

how did you manage this long weekend?

Ooh, I'm an extremely competent executive.

Yeah, and I have an extremely confident staff too.

- I see. - And they're working.

Extremely competently, so that I can have

weekends like this one off

and pursue a very active social life.

At which you are extremely competent.

You are too kind.

[beeping]

[ringing]

[Norman over phone] Tom.

Tom, Tom, Tom.

Tom, if you're not there, who picked up the phone?

- What is it? - Now, take it easy.

Do you want the whole disaster detail

or you want just the headlines?

Just the headline.

Okay.

Superintendent somehow sets off ...sprinkler system.

Oh, you're kidding, wetting down the super employees?

Um-hm, and ruining layout

which must be at the printers this weekend.

Oh... Oh, that's just great.

Well, when-when did this happen?

Last night.

Why didn't you call me?

Well, I didn't want to shorten your very long weekend.

Tina came down to help me.

Uh, we worked all last night and today

trying to straighten out everything and dry it... out

but it's, uh, it's horrible.

Well, I-I guess I'll have to come down there.

Yeah, it'd be terrific if you could come down.

If-if it's not too inconvenient.

Oh, it's... It's inconvenient.

[sighing]

I see, well, ma-maybe if she's terrific, she'll understand.

Oh, I hope so. Bye-bye.

Guess what?

I guess I'm not going to like it.

No, I don't think so. Neither do I.

There has been an accident at the office

and I really do have to go down

but I'll hurry as fast as I possibly can.

I'll get that work done in no time at all

and then, I will dash back to your side and...

And what?

And we have

the best part of the weekend left.

Do I have a choice?

Um-hm.

You have a choice between being...

...wonderful, generous

and furthering a real meaningful relationship

or being rotten

and selfish

and doing irreparable damage to my ego.

I think I'd like to think it over.

Hey, you just think it over here.

Okay.

- I'll hurry as fast as I can. - Alright.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

♪♪

[sighing]

Where is she?

You are not here...

...to check out my lady.

You're here to help me reconstruct my original notes.

- Can't we do both? - No, we cannot.

To be perfectly frank and candid, I was hoping to do both.

To be perfectly frank and candid, so was I.

Now, uh, we are just gonna settle down and get to work.

You might as well relax for a second while I get my notes.

Gladly.

I'm very disappointed.

I was really counting on seeing this girl.

I don't think there really is a girl.

I just think he leads a very rich fantasy life.

You lead a very rich fantasy life.

He has a girl.

Brenda.

Well, these notes really look adequate enough, I've...

[telephone ringing]

- Hello. - Hello, Tom.

Oh, Brenda

you took the rotten, selfish, ego damaging way out.

It started to get late, so I figured you got hung up.

Well, look

eventually, I'm going to have to finish this.

Well, I was getting tired and I, I just didn't wanna

fall asleep in your apartment.

Why not?

Everybody else is.

Oh, such as who?

My erstwhile competent employees.

It looks like they're gonna stay that way

while I do all the work tonight.

Oh, Tom, that's awful.

Look, sweetheart

why don't I just go ahead and get all of this work done

tonight and then tomorrow morning

I'll meet you about 11 o'clock?

Goodnight, Tom.

♪♪

"I hope your first day alone hasn't been too lonely."

I hope you didn't have to sing on the bus.

♪♪

Tina, get up.

Tina.

Tina!

[sighing]

[yawns]

Tina, Tina, come on, where's Norman?

Mr. Corbett's office, who's calling?

Tina, come on. Wake up, come on.

- Cookie puss... - Excuse me.

Mrs. Livingston.

Oh, no, M-Mrs. Livingston.

- Good morning. - I am sorry to disturb you.

No-no, y-you did not disturb me, Mrs. Livingston.

- I just didn't expect you. - I know.

Mrs. Livingston, look, you, uh, you came here for something.

Whatever you came for, you're welcome to come here any--

No, it's not important

and I'm sorry to disturb you.

No, no, you didn't. You did not disturb me.

No, no, Mrs. Livingston, please.

You came because of something, obviously.

- Please, get it, please. - Alright

Well, I should have called you first, but I wasn't thinking.

You didn't have to call me. You didn't have to think.

I mean, uh, well, you know, I mean

there was nothing t-to, to think about.

Now, what-what are you after?

Well, I was cleaning my house

and I have a special silver polish here.

You know, the store is closed today

So I thought I come here and borrow it.

Take it, take my polish, take my all.

- Anything you want. - Where am I?

Good morning, Ms. Rickles.

Oh, Mrs. Livingston.

Wh-why am I here?

I'm going to get silver polish.

Yeah. Uh, Tina...

- Where's Norman? - Where's Norman?

Mr. Corbett, why was I sleeping in your apartment?

Tina

is your brain always so fuzzy in the morning?

Uh, no, not usually when I wake up in strange apartments.

I mean, I-I, I don't usually wake up

in strange apartments.

Hi, morning, morning, Tom. Morning, Tina.

- Hi, Mrs. Livingston! - Good morning.

How'd you feel? I feel terrific.

Oh, good, Norman, how do you have

so much energy in the morning, huh?

All I need is a little sleep.

I always wake up, up!

What are you doing?

I don't know, Norman.

What happened last night?

It's very simple, you fell asleep on the couch

I fell asleep in the chair, then I get up

I put a cover over you, put a pillow under your head

and went to sleep in Eddie's room

and by the way

you're dressed.

Mrs. Livingston, I'm awfully hungry.

Could I have some breakfast, please?

- Of course. - Oh, Norman, we can't.

It's almost 11 o'clock.

- Eleven o'clock! - Oh, wow!

- I've got a few things I've-- - Just get outta here.

Give him breakfast. He gets hungry.

Critters, Norman!

Mrs. Livingston, thank you anyway.

But I-I don't want any breakfast.

I'm just going to straighten this.

That's very kind of you. Look, I'm gonna go to my room.

I'm gonna take a nap. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

♪♪

Good morning, lady.

Uh-oh.

What do you mean, "Uh-oh?"

A little too cheerful and a little too close

to when I'm supposed to leave.

Well, the point of it is

I've been up all night long working on my notes

and I'm exhausted and I mean, exhausted.

Look, would...

Would it be alright with you if I saw you later?

Here with cocktails at 5:00.

Alright.

You're a princess. Bye-bye.

♪♪

Oh, Mrs. Livingston, what are you doing?

Well, I straightened out Eddie's room and living room

and I thought I clean these cabinets.

I always wanted to do that.

Today is a good day for it.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I-I, I thought you were gonna

straighten up your own house today.

Oh, I could do that another time.

Well, I wouldn't want you to work on the holiday.

Oh, it is not Japanese holiday.

Oh, well, uh...

Whenever you do take some

time off what do you do?

I lead quiet life.

Oh, well, I really sort of suspected

that on Sundays you went out to the riverside raceway

and raced cars.

Did you?

Um...

Mrs. Livingston, I...

May I be, uh, perfectly honest with you?

Yes, what is it?

Well, I, uh, I am expecting company.

Would you like me to stay and help you?

It's not exactly company-company.

It's...

[chuckles]

...lady company.

I better straighten up more.

No, no, no, um, um...

Mrs. Livingston, um...

Do you know what I'd-I'd really like you to do?

Leave.

Why didn't you tell me?

I tried. You, uh...

Yo-yo-you do understand what I mean, don't you?

- Yes, I do. - I mean, I didn't offend you.

- Oh, not at all. - I wouldn't hurt your feelings.

No.

Mr. Eddie's father, one thing

I do not race cars at riverside on Sunday.

Goodbye.

♪♪

[sighing]

With half hour to spare.

[doorbell rings]

No time to spare.

[doorbell ringing]

Coming.

I thought we would never get together. I...

Joey, what are you doing here?

- I'm here for the weekend. - For, fo-for the weekend?

Uh, well, Ed-Eddie isn't here.

You should've called first.

- I did call. - Yo...

This is a note from your father

thanking me for keeping you for the weekend.

What's this all about?

I did call, but when Eddie said

he was going away I didn't know what to do.

I wanted to be with you.

Well, that's, that's very nice, Joey

but... couldn't you stay at home?

My pop and Sherry, that's his girlfriend.

Yes, I know.

They went to Las Vegas.

I could've had a sitter come here.

Oh, well, Joey, I'm sorry

but you can't stay here.

♪♪

Joey?

Hey, Joey, it's okay.

- It's okay. - No, it's not.

- They went to Las Vegas. - So?

So they're gonna get married and without even telling me

they're just gonna sneak off and get married.

Oh, now, wait a minute, Joey, lot of people go to Las Vegas

for many other reasons than getting married.

I just know they're gonna get married.

Now, do you know where they're staying in Las Vegas?

Yeah, but they won't be there yet.

They're driving?

Oh, wow.

I wanted to be with you

because with you it's like it used to be with my pop.

No ladies hanging around.

Just a kid and a dad.

It's almost time for dinner.

Let me make you dinner, like I use to do for my pop.

Okay.

Why don't you, uh, you go in the kitchen

and, uh, and you start it

and I'll, I'll be in there in a few seconds, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

Oh, if you find any scraps of paper, you know, lying around

those are, uh, notes from Eddie.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Brenda.

Brenda, you're not gonna believe this.

Alright, you want me to guess.

Well, I'll tell you, I believed you at first

really, I did

but now, I figure you've got yourself a problem

with an over-aggressive gorgeous blonde.

That's true.

Oh, you admit it.

Yes, I do. I admit it.

I must tell you that...

...this lady has measurements

uh, you would not believe.

Try me.

Twelve-12-12

Hah.

It's a, uh, friend of Eddie's and she's in a...

...little bit of trouble right now, look, uh

can I call you back?

Oh, by all means.

I'd be the last one to stop you from calling back.

Of course, I may change my number

and I may move.

But, please, do call back.

♪♪

It used to be just us

and he kept telling me I was his sweetheart.

Well, I don't think you should get too uptight

about change, Joey

because you know something?

I know that in your father's thoughts

you're always the first person that comes to mind.

But you know something?

This marriage

that might be a pretty good thing for you.

I mean, you'll have someone with you all the time

to take care of you, to be a friend.

You don't understand.

With pop and me it was always magic.

What do you mean magic?

Well, we didn't have to do all these things.

Like the dishes, we just put 'em in the sink

and fill it with water and leave them there.

And then what happened?

In the morning, they'd all be done and put away

by the magic dish fairy.

Ah, yes, well...

Uh, Joey, what makes you think that the magic dish fairy

is going to go away now?

It's gonna be all different with Sherry.

Okay, Joey, you can sleep in Eddie's room tonight.

I'll help you unpack, hm?

These are the things you wear to bed when...

- Yeah. - Uh-huh.

Alright, you want me to help you with that?

- Mm-hm. - Okay.

I got it. Wanna get your hair?

Thank you.

Okay.

Uh, well, now, uh, Joey, look

you know, I don't have a little girl

but I do have a little boy

I am a parent.

Now, is there anything you'd like me to do for ya?

Why don't you give me a glass of milk?

Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

[doorbell ringing]

- Hi. - Hello.

- Mr. Corbett? - Yes.

I'm Sherry Barnes, Joe's fiance.

Oh, of course, come in.

- Please. - Thank you.

Joe's out driving around the block

trying to find a place to park.

Yeah.

We were halfway to Vegas and...

Well, I just couldn't stand it.

I knew Joey was upset, so...

Well, in spite of your kind invitation

we decided we really oughta come back and pick her up.

Hm, well, it was a very good plan because you're right.

She, uh, she is upset.

She's confused.

[doorbell ringing]

I've been silly and unfair.

I mean you've got enough to worry about without me...

Is this "12-12-12?"

No, it's not, it's not. I can explain it to you, Brenda.

Brenda!

Where's Joey?

There.

Now, you see how well the weekend finally turned out?

Yes, half a weekend is better than none.

Mm-hm, and I would like to thank you.

- For what? - For being so patient.

So understanding

and so cooperative during times of stress.

Oh, it was my pleasure.

Let's try and make it mine.

[doorbell ringing]

- I don't hear that. - Hear what?

- That bell. - What bell?

[doorbell ringing]

That bell.

Oh. Answer it.

With our luck, it's my mother.

- That's not funny. - Oh, no, it isn't.

- Hi, dad! - Eddie, what happened?

He's got a rather bad case of poison oak.

Very unusual for this time of year.

- But there it is. - Oh, yeah.

Well, we thought it would be best if we brought

him home and he agreed.

Oh, but t-that's all that's wrong with him?

[Brian] He's fine, he's a swell little camper in fact.

Sang all the way up on the bus.

Well, let us know the next time that he wants to camp.

I will. Yeah, thank you very much.

- Don't mention it. - Bye, Brian.

Well...

[chuckles] He's home.

I could have stayed if I wanted to.

But I thought you were getting sort of, uh... lonely.

Lonely? No, not lonely.

Busy, yes. But... lonely, no.

Well, welcome to the party.

Brenda, of all the people you've met

I don't think you've met my son Eddie.

- Hello, there. - Hi.

- Dad. - Yeah?

Is she a mother type?

We may never know.

Well, let's sit down and discuss it.

♪♪

[Eddie] Dad, how do you know you're... in love?

[Tom] Well, that's something that

nobody could help you with, sport.

Love is... something you feel inside.

[Eddie] Does it itch?

[Tom] Eddie...

[Eddie] How old were you when you were first in love, dad?

[Tom] Oh, I don't know, Eddie. Does it matter?

- Sure. - Why?

[Eddie] I wanna know how many good years I have left.

[Eddie chuckles]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ La La pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy my up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪♪