Original subtitles

[Eddie] I'm a caterpillar.

[Tom] Okay. I'm a caterpillar, too.

[Eddie] I'm on the edge of a tea cup.

[Tom] I'm on the edge of a tea cup, too.

[Eddie] I'll never get off.

- We won't, why? - 'Cause I'm on tea cup.

You never can tell where the road ends.

- Well, then let's fly away. - How do we do that?

[Tom] Well, us caterpillars can turn into butterflies, you know.

[Eddie] How does a caterpillar turn into a butterfly?

- They grunt a lot. - Why?

[Tom] Well, because it's hard work in there.

You see, a caterpillar lives inside this little cocoon

and when he decides it's time to become a butterfly

he get's right to work.

♪ I'm gonna be a butterfly ♪

♪ Gonna be a butterfly ♪♪

[Eddie giggles]

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

I am finished, Mr. Eddie's father.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Livingston

- I'll see you tomorrow. - Goodnight.

- Goodnight. - And goodnight, Eddie.

Goodnight, Mrs. Livingston.

[telephone ringing]

I'll get it.

Hello? Corbett residence.

No, I am not a date.

One moment, please.

Miss Cynthia Kurland of the Female Freedom Foundation

would like to speak to you.

Hm. Tell her I gave at the office.

Mrs. Livingston, I'm kidding, I'll take it.

Thank you, Mrs. Livingston, and goodnight.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight, Mrs. Livingston.

Yes, hello, this is Tom Corbett speaking.

Ah, yes, yes. Well, what-what's it about?

Uh...

Women's liberation.

No, well, uh, I think, uh, I think our magazine could

uh, find some interest in that for an article, yes.

But I don't think this is the time

and the place to talk about it.

Yes, yeah, well, so, so why don't you just...

Ah-ha. W-why don't you just...

Yes, why don't you just call my secretary

make an appointment and, uh, and we'll talk about it then.

Good.

Fine.

Yes, alright, good...

Ah-ha, good...

Yes, good...

Goodbye.

Who's that, dad?

Uh, Cynthia Kurland is her name

and she is interested in women's liberation.

- Hey, dad. - Hm-mm.

Are you gonna see her?

Well, yeah, I'll see her at the office.

You never know when someone's gonna come up

with an interesting new idea.

- Like women's liberation? - Yeah.

What is that anyway?

Well, I don't really know.

But you can bet it's not good for men.

♪♪

- Hi, Tina. - Hi, Mr. Corbett.

Mr. Corbett...

...have you ever noticed how I always call you Mr. Corbett

but you always call me Tina, with no miss or anything?

- Yes, I've noticed that. - Isn't that prejudice?

Prej...

Oh...

Miss Kurland's here, right?

Right, sir.

Okay, come on, Tina. Give out.

What's she like? Tall? Wiry?

Terribly tailored? Heck of a back end.

Oh, right, Mr. Corbett

I would never want to meet her in a dark alley.

Oh, oh, really?

I knew it.

♪♪

- Oh, please don't stand. - Well, why not?

You'd get up if I came into the room.

Oh, well, alright.

Suit yourself.

- Just to make a point. - Ah, you made it.

Cigar?

You are a terribly attractive lady.

Thank you.

And now I'm supposed to be indebted.

Why indebted?

Why, you've just been nice to me.

Being nice back is the least I can do.

Oh, I see. You don't like compliments?

I don't like being patronized.

- And you think that I-- - Well, what is a compliment?

A condescension to a second-class citizen.

I don't think I agree.

No, I don't at all.

I think...

...it's a consideration.

You say sweet and sincere things

you send candy and flowers and intimate gifts.

We're just trying to be friendly.

- My point exactly. - I see.

And, um, you'd, uh

you'd like to put this all into an article?

Oh, sure, I would.

You're an opinion maker.

If we could convert you--

You'll have allies in high places.

Exactly.

- A fifth column? - No.

Just a little help to show the world

women are no different than men.

I, um... do get, kind of, carried away.

Oh, a little bit, yeah.

Especially, when I meet a man that's I'd, um...

...really like to convince.

Oh, I think most men would be--

Most men don't interest me.

And of the opinion makers I've met

they didn't dress as well, either.

That outfit is really very becoming.

This old thing?

Some men just know how to wear clothes.

Alright, alright.

- Are we even? - No, Mr. Corbett.

But we're beginning to be.

We'll talk.

We'll talk.

♪♪

What a pair of shoulders.

Tina.

[knocking on door]

- Oh, hi, Tom. - Hello, Norman.

What's happening?

Oh, a little of this, a little of that.

How about you?

Same.

- Oh, good. - Hm-hmm.

Good, good.

It's funny when people say there's no communication today.

I know.

- Norman? - Mm-hmm?

[Tom] What's that for?

[Norman] Marriage and raising a family.

No, I don't mean the girl.

I mean the picture. What's that for?

- For industrial layout. - I figured.

Which is a strange commentary on our times

when we have to use a pretty girl to sell cement mixers.

I know, I know, but today, you know how difficult it is

to get a flattering photograph of a cement mixer.

Norman, what do you know about The Female Freedom Foundation?

You mean that women's liberation thing?

Yeah, what are they up to?

Well, in a nutshell...

...they're just not happy.

- Being women? - No.

Being the kind of woman that they think men want them to be.

They wanna be totally equal in every way.

[chuckles] In every way?

They, especially, don't like

the social distinction between the sexes.

Especially, the economic ones.

Oh, yeah, well, I can understand that.

Why are you so interested? You think of doing an article?

Yeah. Yeah, I might.

You know, I think it could be an interesting subject.

But they're really pretty serious about this, aren't they?

Oh, they're serious.

They don't want any distinctions

between men and women at all.

They want you to treat them

the same way you'd treat a man.

♪♪

It's an uphill fight.

[door opens]

- Hi, dad! - Hey, hi, sweetie.

[grunting] Hup-ha.

- How are you? - Fine, how are you?

I'm fine, thanks. Hi, Mrs. Livingston.

- Good evening. - You got a present.

Oh, I did, huh? Well, where is it?

- It's on your desk. - Oh, who's it from?

I don't know. There's a card, but I didn't open it.

Oh, you didn't, good boy.

Well, it's probably from Uncle Norman.

No.

Well, if you didn't read the card

how do know it's not from Uncle Norman?

It's not from Uncle Norman.

[chuckles]

Alright, let's open the card.

[grunts]

It's from Cynthia Kurland.

I don't think it's a wad.

- You don't, huh? - Unh-unh.

Well, tell me, when was the last time you got flowers?

- Last Thursday. - Oh.

I met this beautiful, young lady at the liquor stick

and then she and I thought we'd get it on--

Come on, Norman, that's a...

What's the matter, you don't wanna hear about it?

No, I don't wanna hear about it.

Well, what are you gonna do about it?

Well, look, I had to thank her, right?

- Right. - So I phoned her.

Hmm, what happened?

I have a date with her for lunch today.

You know, I bet it's gonna break her heart.

What is?

Well, if this beautiful, young lady wants to

shower you with flowers and compliments

just to prove that she's really liberated...

...do you think you should stand in her way?

That's a good point, Norman.

I think the expression is, "Relax and enjoy it."

♪♪

I hope you enjoy your lunch, Mr. Corbett.

Ah, thank you, Gus.

♪♪

Would you care to test the wine, Mr. Corbett?

That'll be fine.

No, no, no, Gus. Thank you, but no.

Check, please.

Certainly, madam.

- Well, how does it feel? - How does what feel?

To be treated like a second-class citizen?

Oh, oh, you mean, this being taken out

taken care of and looked after?

This, uh, assuming that someone can do it better for you.

I don't know, I kinda like it.

- Well, at least you're honest. - Thank you.

The check.

♪♪

Oh, Henry.

Do you have to leave such a big tip?

♪♪

Good morning.

- A package. - So I see.

The wrapping seems to have a trace of an evening of bliss

or a man's strong aftershave lotion.

Ah, I take it it's for me.

Unquestionably, it's got your name all over it. "Tom."

A stimulating luncheon, a stimulating companion.

- One has so many admirers. - Oh, the curse of the gorgeous.

Dozen golf balls.

And one perfect rose.

Isn't that just like a woman?

Not necessarily.

Listen, you're still gonna go ahead with the article?

Well, I'm gonna continue with the research, I know it's wild.

- I bet. - No, I mean it.

Oh, listen, you don't know how far out it is

to have a woman doing all the things you used to do.

Hey, I'm the one who told you that.

It's so easy, all you gotta do is treat them

like they treat you, and you got it made.

- When you gonna see her again? - Tonight.

We are dining together.

Tonight?

You can't do that, it's too soon.

Hey, do you want her to think you're unpopular or something?

- Tom, you're a pushover. - No, and I wasn't busy.

You don't want her to know that, you should've told her

you're gonna stay home and wash your hair.

I am gonna wash my hair.

You just said you're goin' out tonight.

How long does it take for a man to wash his hair?

Oh.

- Hey, Norman. - What?

Could you use a dozen golf balls?

No, but I could use one perfect rose.

- Hello there. - Hi.

- Am I early? - No, no.

As a matter of fact, you're exactly on time

and I am running behind the schedule.

So it'll just take me a second to get ready.

Why don't I fix you a drink?

No, no, you'd, you'd probably rather do that yourself. Yes.

Well, I'll tell you what I'll do.

- I'll hustle. - Well, that's alright.

Hey.

Why don't you wear something in basic black?

Yes, with pearl cufflinks, I have a black suit, of course

and lapels are cut awfully low.

Oh, but I bet the shoulders fit so well.

Yeah, shrunk at the cleaners.

[chuckles] That's cute. Go on, get dressed.

♪♪

- Oh, hi, Miss Kurland. - Oh, hi, Eddie.

How do you know my name?

Well, how do you know my name?

Well, I guess the same person told us.

I guess so.

- Do you like boys? - Oh, very much.

I mean little boys.

Well, also very much.

Exactly the same as girls.

How do you feel about girls?

Well...

...they're okay, I guess.

Oh.

As good as boys?

- Well, not in baseball. - But as people?

Hmm, to tell you the truth

I never thought about girls as people.

Hey, Cynthia, did you meet Eddie?

Oh, you met Eddie. Well, would you like a drink?

You got a drink.

Well, I'll just hurry.

Your father seems a little nervous.

You noticed that too?

Yes, I did.

Well, I think he likes you.

And I like you too.

Well, thank you, Eddie.

I like you, too.

And I also like your dad.

- Ah, basic black. - Yes, yes.

I-I couldn't wear the pearl cufflinks

because these are barrel cuffs, but this is it.

It looks very nice.

Well, thank you very much. Shall we go?

Okay, now, Eddie, it's time for you to go to bed.

- Say goodnight to Miss Kurland. - Goodnight, Miss Kurland.

Goodnight, Eddie.

- How'd you two get along? - Real nice.

- She's a nice lady. - Yeah, I think so, too.

But she's got some funny ideas.

Funny ideas, like what?

She thinks girls are the same as boys.

Yes, yes, I've noticed.

Well, maybe we can change her mind about that.

- Goodnight, sport. - Night.

Off you go.

♪♪

- You've a very nice apartment. - It's comfortable.

Take off your coat, sit down.

- No, no, that's alright. - Don't be silly.

What are you afraid of?

Well, I'm, I'm not afraid of anything.

It's just that I didn't wanna take off

my coat at that particular time.

I'll fix you a drink.

Alright.

Just a small one.

♪♪

Surely, this isn't the first time

you've been in a girls apartment?

No, of course not.

I just didn't want you to think that

it had any particular significance.

Of course not.

After all, we're just two mature adults...

...alone.

Yes.

[clears throat] You wouldn't be trying to get me drunk, would you?

Now, why would I want to do something like that?

Yes, why would you wanna do a thing like that?

- Oh, we shouldn't. - Why shouldn't we?

Well, we hardly know each other.

I think we know each other.

And besides, I'm not that kinda guy.

Of course you are.

You're not going to pretend I'm your first date.

Well, I am human.

Of course.

Human being, flesh and blood

with real needs.

Oh, needs, yes. Real needs.

- I mean, once you've had love. - I know.

It's just like peanuts.

You won't respect me.

I'll respect you.

Drink.

♪♪

I don't know.

And sometimes, you think

you really know someone, you know

and it doesn't matter how many times you've been together.

Yes, I know. I've felt that too.

And then I think about you.

Then something inside me gets ...wild and crazy.

You know, it really is kind of wild and crazy.

And mad and impetuous.

- No, I mean it. - Oh, I mean it too.

Once you've been swept off your feet--

No, really.

"No, really," what?

Well, we've done a lot of kidding around.

I had a point to make.

And you had a point to make.

It's your game.

But in spite of everything...

...I do like you.

And I like you, too.

Really?

You're putting me on again.

No, I'm not.

Well, I must say with you, it's very hard to doubt.

This was supposed to be another lesson.

But suddenly, my light-hearted experiment...

Well, it isn't so light-hearted.

You've gotta remember when you're playing a game

both sides get to bat.

What happened?

You really wanna know?

I think so.

Alright.

♪♪

[moans]

Right... equal.

Equal but not the same.

Equal... but different.

And as far as being a man is concerned

I'd give up the act if I were you.

It really isn't a very good one.

There are a lot of inequities for women.

Right. And these inequities should be corrected.

But I think that there's something

in the basic man-woman relationship.

- Oh, yeah. - That's worth keeping.

Remember that.

Well, look, uh...

It really doesn't have to end this way.

- Not necessarily. - We could discuss it.

Perhaps.

- I'll call you. - No, don't call me.

I may call you.

♪♪

- Good morning, everybody. - Good morning.

- Morning, dad. - Hi, guy.

How did it go with Miss Kurland last night?

Did you have a nice time?

I had a wonderful time.

- Yeah, she's a pretty lady. - Yes, she is.

And she likes kids, boys and girls.

Hmm, you like her, huh?

Yeah, she's really a nice lady.

And I know she likes you.

Oh, what do you think, Mrs. Livingston?

Oh, she seemed very nice.

And quite unusual.

Yes, i-isn't it an old Japanese expression

"That he who stands in the way of a tornado

is liable to get swept off feet."

I don't know.

[ducks quacking]

[Eddie] Dad, what does it mean, "It's a man's world?"

[Tom] Well, that depends on who says it.

A man or a woman.

[Eddie] Suppose, it's a man.

[Tom] Well, well, then it means he thinks that

everything is coming to him.

[Eddie] Suppose, it's a woman.

[Tom] Well, then it means she thinks

everything is going to him.

- Hey, dad. - Yeah.

[Eddie] I like the way you figured that out.

[Tom] Yeah, well, we're both men.

- Yeah, it's a man's world. - Yeah.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪