Original subtitles

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

Dad, I learned a new prayer.

Oh, you did? Would you like to tell it to me?

Okay. "Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub."

Yay, God.

Hey, that's great.

People like to get along with people.

How do you know?

That's why they all set their clocks

at the same time.

Dad, do you believe in wishing wells?

Well, not really, Eddie.

Do you?

Only when I'm wishing for somethin' important.

I need all the help I can get.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person ♪

♪ Who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

Uh, alright now, Indian Pals.

The, uh, the first item on our agenda

I mean on our birch parchment...

The first item is to pick a permanent chief

for our tipi. Now.

I thought you were our chief, dad.

Yeah, well, no, I'm only, uh

I'm only the temporary chief, Eddie

since we are the hosts for the first meeting.

Now, I guess, uh, well, all the fathers

could throw their feathers into a hat and we could draw them.

Uh, but, uh, uh, but, Corbett, I believe

the rules call for a volunteer.

[Tom] Volunteer?

Oh, uh, yes, you're right, doctor.

I'll volunteer.

[Tom] Oh, uh, uh, good, good. Um...

Alright, uh, thank you, Dr. Lockwood.

Are there any other volunteers from the fathers here for, uh...

...for, for this, for chief?

♪♪

Uh, this is for chief.

Yes, well, uh, Dr. Lockwood

it looks like, uh, like you're it.

Uh, I'd like to say congratulations to you.

Thank you very much, thank you.

- Your feathers. - Right.

And now, here are the credentials

on how to run an Indian--

I don't need those, I've memorized all of those.

Well, let's hear it for chief.

Thank you.

Well, as a chief of this tipi of Indian Pals...

Wanna come over and get the drums, son? We made it.

As chief of this, uh, tipi of Indian Pals, I hereby declare

that our tipi has been organized

in accordance with the duly constituted rules

of the Indian Pals of America Incorporated.

Let us now all participate in the official membership pledge.

[clears throat]

Oh, great spirit...

[all] Um-ta-wa.

Who watches over the forests, the rivers

the streams, the great plains, the mountains, the valleys...

[all] Um-ta-wa.

[Dr. Lockwood] Who watches over the animals, the trees and the birds.

We the fathers and sons of the Indians

pledge that we too will watch over...

[all] Um-ta-wa.

What are they?

- Indians. - Huh?

- Pretend Indians. - Um-ta-wa.

[Lockwood] ...the animals, the trees...

Here's the article Tom wants me to get. Shh.

This we have written in the sun.

And in the moon

and in the stars.

It is also written that to bug the chief

is to invite the wings of many hawks to flutter on your eye.

Let's... We go.

Alright, uh, Little Indian braves

now you turn and face, uh, the big Indian braves.

Alright, and clasp their hands

and get ready for the salute.

Here we go.

Salute.

[all] Um-ta-wa.

This meeting of the Indian Pals is concluded.

[chuckles]

- Hey... - Attaboy.

Very good, very good, very good, very good.

[kids ululating]

Well, how'd you like it, sport?

I thought it was great, pal.

But I still wish you were chief.

Hey, I'm your chief. Don't you ever forget it.

Um-ta-wa, neato.

Ah, Corbett, next meeting, wear a feather.

[knock on door]

- Hao. - Hao.

Big Tom talk with forked tongue.

Mm-hmm, well, beside the fact that

you witnessed part of our initiation last night

What makes you say that?

By your attitude, it's obviously not a good morning.

Well, Norman...

It is just the modern day complexities

of running a gigantic magazine.

The constant kaleidoscopic juxtaposition

of one problem to another.

I was right.

Big Tom do talk with forked tongue.

Norman, with your knowledge of the Indian idiom

you should really be part of our tribe.

But you can't be.

No, 'cause this is for fathers and sons only.

We call ourselves Indian Pals.

The idea is for fathers and sons to spend more time together.

Hey, that sounds terrific, but it seems to me

you spend enough time with Eddie already.

Well, this is a little different, though.

You see, this has, has all the Indian trappings to it.

We organize a tipi.

We meet once a week at a different home.

- Hogan. - What?

It's the Indian word for home. Hogan.

Alright, we meet once a week in a different hogan.

Unless you're Mescalero. Then it's called a wicki--

Norman, what's the difference?

The point of it is you spend time

working on a project together.

We do. Like this week for example

we're working on Indian names.

We're gonna make badges.

Next week we're gonna do an Indian rain dance.

- Rain dance? - Yeah.

Look, Norman, speaking of projects...

Why don't we start calling you Big Working Norman

instead of Big Talking Norman?

I go with the swiftness of the wind.

Norman, don't trip in your wickiup.

Ooph.

What is this? Executive pressure?

Like father, like son, like secretary.

Wasn't my idea.

- It happens to be the style. - Yeah?

Well, thank you very much, Princess Mini Ha-Ha.

- Ha-ha. - Ha-ha-ha.

- Ha-ha-ha. Heh. - Ha-ha.

[sighs]

Thank you, Tina.

- Tina. - Yes.

Do you know what a hogan is?

Uh, yes, it's a Navajo house.

Unless you're a Mescalero, and then it's a wickiup.

Get out.

- Hey, Dad. - Yeah.

Read the list from the top, okay?

Alright.

We have Digging Beaver.

Say big and little, Dad, I like that.

Oh, alright.

Ah, Big Digging Beaver, Little Digging Beaver.

Big Flying Fox, Little Flying Fox.

Flying Fox? Hmm?

- Better scratch that one out. - Yeah, we got...

You're right.

Okay, we have Big Hawk, Little Hawk.

Big Golden Arrow, Little Golden Arrow.

Say that one again, Dad.

Big Golden Arrow, Little Golden Arrow.

I saw that one in a book at school once, Dad.

- Oh, yeah? - Big Golden Arrow.

And Little Golden Arrow.

- You like that one, huh? - Yeah.

Big Golden Arrow.

Okay, Little Golden Arrow.

[together] Pals.

- Oh, thank you, Eddie. - It's okay, Tina.

Um, these are going to be gorgeous.

But you know what?

All the credit for them goes to you, Eddie.

Because you're the one that picked out the names.

Little Golden Arrow and Big Golden Arrow.

That's what gave me the idea for the sequins.

Yeah, that was a neat idea.

- Our sequins. - Thank you, Eddie.

[Eddie] Gee.

If Mrs. Levingston hadn't had her class tonight

you wouldn't have been here.

To keep me from worryin' about those badges.

Well, when your daddy came in and said

that he would be tied up tonight

I was more than glad to help out.

Gee, maybe he won't get untied up

until it's too late to go to the pow-wow.

I wouldn't do that to you, sport.

- Hi, Dad. - Hello, Indian.

Dad, wait till you see the badges Tina made for us.

- They're gorgeous. - Gorgeous.

Do you like them?

Oh, well, Tina, they're uh, uh, the--

- Gorgeous. - Yeah, they're gorgeous.

[sighs] Sequence. Wow.

You know what, I bet all the others

will have the regular kind of Indian badges with, ah

burnt wood and leather and all that obvious stuff--

Burnt wood and leather, yeah.

And all that obvious stuff.

Yeah, yeah, well, Tina, we-we certainly

appreciate you putting in the time.

Don't thank me, Mr. Corbett. Just enjoy.

Uh, Mrs. Livingston left a cold plate in the fridge for you.

Thank you.

- Bye! - Bye.

[door closes]

They're terrible, dad. They're really sissy.

What are we gonna do?

Well, Eddie, y-you know, since

Tina put in so much of her own time making 'em, uh

and besides that, they're the only ones we've got.

We'll wear 'em...

...with as much pride as possible.

♪♪

[clamoring]

Okay, relax. Losing control. Here.

Here, relax. Danny!

Oh, wow!

- Hello, Corbett. - Hi there. Hi.

- Hi, Eddie. - Hi, Danny.

Now, we-we seem to have a little conflict in names here.

Yeah, so, so we have. Yeah.

Yeah, well, we can't have that, we'll have

to do something about that.

We can't have two boys with the same name.

I got mine from a book at school.

So did I.

Well, you, uh, tsk...

You two sure have a couple of great badges there.

Well, thank you.

Well, I see no reason why we shouldn't, uh, start.

Danny, you want to, uh, beat the tom-tom, huh?

Sure. Come on, Eddie.

O-okay.

[Lockwood] Corbett, you could've put a little more

effort into this project.

I mean, uh...

I'm sure that if you and your son had really

put your heads together, you could've come up with something

a little more suitable than, uh, sequence.

Fathers and sons working together, Corbett.

That's the name of the game.

Uh, yes, um, I'll try to remember that.

Yeah. Rain dance, next week, Corbett.

Little more thought, hm?

Alright, alright, alright. Come over here.

Let's get ourtipiin order.

[sighs] Eddie, I'm very sorry about those badges today.

Well, that's okay.

Well, I was very proud of you

for giving up your name the way you did.

That was a very generous thing for you to do.

Well, I was just being fair.

That's part of being Indian pals.

Yes, it is.

- Give us a kiss. - Okay.

- Hey, dad. - Yeah?

Could we get to work on that rain dance for-for next week?

Oh, you just better believe that we'll work hard on that.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

♪♪

Oh, Great Spirit, help my dad

'cause he's gonna need it.

Oh, Great Spirit

when we do our rain dance

you get out your galoshes.

Okay, now, come on. Everybody's going to concentrate.

- Okay? - Right.

Alright, ready? Uh, now, Tina, go.

[drum beats]

[chuckles]

Tina, straighten up.

Alright. Play your tom-tom.

One, two, three...

[drum beats]

Alright. Now together and...

[chanting] And, hold.

[chanting] And, hold.

You know that's not exactly the way

the Iroquois did the rain dance.

That's a little closer to the Narragansetts.

Well, we are not Iroquois

or Narragansett, we are Sassaquoi.

You know, I gotta hand it to you, Tom.

You actually came up with an Indian tribe

I know very little about.

That wasn't hard to do, Norman.

- I just looked in the book. - It's a terrific book.

Why don't you look over in this end of the couch, Norman.

There's a lot of work to be done for the next issue.

Yeah, I know, you know, but what you're doing is very interesting

for someone who's very interested in Indians.

Norman, look. Learn. Lurk.

- Dang, fella, much-- - One, two, three, and...

[chanting]

And, halt. Good.

[chanting]

- And, halt. Got it? Good. - Got it.

You know the Sassaquois have a rain dance in here

that's much simpler than the one you're doing.

Norman, we like the regular way. Just two...

[tribal chanting]

And, hold.

Yep, that's the way we like it.

I bet we have the best father and son dance of anybody.

Right! One, two, three...

[drum beats]

Tina!

Tina!

Here. Okay, ready?

Okay. Tina?

[drum beats]

Good.

[chanting]

[groans]

Excuse me, excuse me, I hate to interrupt.

- Just give me one-- - Fine, now just keep the beat.

Ready? And...

[chanting]

Great! And...

[chanting]

You know, I really have to be going.

I can't work all the time. Your work is great.

When I get down to the office, I'll do it down there.

Because all this activity is really...

[knock on door]

Don't worry about returning the tom-tom, Tom.

It's okay, come in.

Hello, Norman.

Hi, Tom, Old Father Feather.

- Mm-hmm. - Wow, wow.

How did it go last night after I left?

Well, we struggled through. Hey, Norman.

Now, look, you got any shots ready for me?

We got a deadline, you know.

I think I'll be ready to put together

a layout by 6 o'clock.

Oh, Norman, I'd be gone by then.

Don't worry, I can handle it.

[chuckles] Okay, if you say so.

I'll bring the shots by your house.

Don't worry. I won't stay.

Tai, kemosabe.

Tai, kemosabe on you.

Norman speak with fore chest.

- Scissors, please. - Scissors.

Thank you, sport.

Look, I didn't know it was gonna take this long, Eddie.

I had no idea how much trouble the Indians went through.

It's not gonna take much longer.

I am afraid it will, sport.

You don't wanna be too tired to do a rain dance

tomorrow night, now, do you?

Oh, gee, dad, I hardly even got to do a thing.

Yeah, well, I know that, sport.

But the official Sassaquoi headdress

is a little harder than I thought.

Right, Norman?

I'm sorry, pal. I'm just here to work on the pictures.

- Eddie. - Hm?

- Sorry. - Okay.

- Goodnight, Uncle Norman. - Goodnight, champ.

Listen, uh, you go ahead and brush your teeth

and I'll come in say good night, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

- Eddie? - Yeah.

Listen, don't you worry about it.

I will have two of the best headdresses

in the world for you, first thing tomorrow morning.

Terrific.

[door closes]

[sighs] Norman, I need help.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Uh-huh.

- Well, that's one of 'em. - You like it?

Well, yeah, but it could use a little more work, Norman

like in here, you know.

Tom, it took you an hour to make this one.

Then you have another one to make.

Then, after that we still have the work to do on--

I know that, Norman.

[doorbell rings]

Norman, who is that?

It's your apartment.

- Oh, now I get it. - What you got?

Now I know why you've been trying

to get all this work done so quickly.

You have a late date meeting here.

Don't you? Dr. Lockwood?

[Lockwood] Sorry to barge in on you like this, Corbett

but I am chief of the tribe and I was making my rounds.

Yeah, well, please, come, come in, won't you?

Oh, I, uh, would have called

but all the channels on my car phone are busy.

Uh, I think w-we've met before?

[Norman] Tinker, Norman Tinker.

Oh, yes, my business associate. Dr. Lockwood.

Y-you met me before the last meeting you had.

I walked in the door a little bit.

I know all about you. Tom talks about you all the time.

You were in the war, combat gynecologist.

That's right, that's right.

Would you care for a drink?

No, no, I'll take a rain check.

Well, I'll have one.

Say, that's very good, Corbett.

Very good. Where's yours?

- Oh, that's mine. - Oh, where's Eddie's?

[Tom] W-we were just working on it when you--

Interrupted!

You know, you're not a bad guy, Corbett

but, uh, you do this all wrong.

Oh, I-I do, do I?

Yeah, the purpose of Indian pals

is to have fathers and sons

relate to each other as pals.

[applause]

Terrific.

Uh, do-do you have a son, Tinker?

No, but just having a child, just becoming a parent

doesn't make somebody a father.

That's right.

That's the, that's the reason

for Indian pals.

But he doesn't need Indian pals.

Now, maybe you have some guilt in relating to your own son

but Tom and Eddie Corbett get along terrific.

Uh, Norman, as a good friend of yours

and someone who loves you a lot, shut up.

Thank you, Corbett.

No, I'm not gonna shut up.

You know the reason you get into so much trouble, Tom

is because you spend so much time with Eddie.

Y-your work just comes sec...

You don't need big chief running mouth

to come over here to change your lifestyle.

Uh, who's going to help you with the feathers?

I'll do it myself.

[Lockwood] Wrong.

- How did you get on my side? - I didn't.

The purpose of, uh, Indian pals is fathers and sons.

- The important word is "And." - Platitudes, doctor.

Assuaging your guilt with some cockamamie club.

If the whole world was like Tom Corbett and his son, Eddie--

Wrong.

Now, how did you get on his side?

- He's right. - He can't be.

Thank you, Corbett.

Doctor...

[sighs]

I'm afraid...

...that I've been competing with you.

Hmm.

Yes, I was, I was envious of your badges.

And I apologize. I was wrong.

[chuckles] You know... I thought I was being a father...

...but you, uh, you were right.

The important word

is "And."

Fathers and sons.

I'll drink to that.

- Hi, dad. - Hey, good morning, sport.

Good morning, dad. Where are they?

- Where, where are what? - The headdresses.

Oh, those? Well, I stopped making 'em.

- You stopped? - Yes, I did.

After making one of them.

How come?

Well, I think we should do 'em together.

You and I, so I'm gonna come home this afternoon at 4 o'clock

and you and I are gonna spend the rest of the afternoon

doing 'em together.

- Together? - Together.

Neato, that's what makes it really fun, doing it together.

Mm-hmm, and like our Chief Big Golden Arrow says

"Fathers and sons."

That is the name of the game.

Right, little pal?

Right, big pal. I think you are terrific.

Well, I think you are pretty terrific yourself, yeah!

Alright, pull now. Pull, pull. I better...

Oh, ah, the little man is gonna get a hernia.

Hey, I know what I'm going to teach you now.

- What? - Indian attack.

[screaming]

[thunder rumbling]

Uh, I think it's going to rain.

- Yeah? - Hmm.

What are we going to do after we drop that off?

What do you have in mind?

Mm. You still have my skate key?

Would you like me to go up your apartment

and tighten your skates?

[knocking on door]

Guess they are not home from the rain dance yet.

[thunder rumbling]

- Oh, you poor boys. - Pals!

Well, whatever you are, you are all soaked.

Yeah, we are drenched.

That storm sure came up in a hurry.

You wouldn't say that if you had seen our rain dance.

[chanting]

- Dad, what does it mean? - Whatdoes what mean?

[Eddie] "You can't see the forest for trees."

[Tom] Oh, oh, well, that means when you get too close to something

you can't see it.

[Eddie] That's not true, dad. I can see you and you can see me.

[Tom] Yes, but I'm not a forest, and you are not a tree.

[Eddie] Dad, what does it mean?

[Tom] Um, w-what does what mean?

[Eddie] "You can't see the forest for the trees."

[Eddie] You know how I'll know when I'm all grown up?

[Tom] How?

[Eddie] I'll have a little boy who'll keep

asking me questions.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪