Original subtitles

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪♪

- Dad, what belongs to me? - Well.

[Tom] There's only one thing that really

belongs to you, Eddie.

- What's that? - You belong to you.

[Eddie] I don't think I understand.

[Tom] Hm, well, then

I guess we'll talk about it another time.

[Eddie] I guess it's one of those...

Well, we'll talk about it later when I'm older.

[Tom] Yeah.

[Eddie] How come flowers are different colors?

[Tom] Well, maybe for the same reason

that people are different colors

so they won't all be the same.

[Eddie] Because they're prettier if they are different?

[Tom] Right and they're more interesting.

[Tom and Eddie] Right.

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one-boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Bup bup bo-bow oops ♪♪

[whistling]

- Hi, dad, it's morning. - Hi, sport.

Thanks for pointing that out for me.

Mrs. Livingston's taking me to the shoe store today

after school and buying me a new pair of shoes.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm doing something special myself today.

- Oh, yeah? What's that? - Well.

Our company is owned by a bunch of stockholders

and today I'm going to meet

the new majority stockholder.

New majority stockholder what?

Well, that's sort of like, uh, like the big boss.

Oh, is gettin' a new big boss

like gettin a new principal?

Mm, yeah, sort of.

You don't have to worry about that, dad.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that.

Well, the only thing is

a new principal needs... breakin' in

and that sort of takes a while.

Oh, hm, well, I-I'll try and remember that

when I meet Cynthia Drummond-Randolph.

Cynthia?

- But that's a girl's name. - That's right.

You mean, your new principal is a lady?

Mm-hmm.

Wow, would she make a great mother?

Hm, but I don't think we'll ever have a chance to find out

because she is Mrs.Cynthia Drummond-Randolph.

- Oh. - Oh.

I don't think I'd like having a lady principal.

Well, why not?

'Cause if I did something bad at my school

and got sent to the office

I'd feel sort of funny if the principal was a lady.

Well, Eddie

there are lady principals

and there are lady bosses

but I'm sure not gonna

let mine make me feel funny.

Then how come you keep on changing your jacket?

Hm?

And you keep on taking your handkerchief

in and out of your pocket.

There are times when you pay

too close attention to me.

- Hey, you. - Yes?

Follow me.

I have to. You're carrying me.

Well...

♪♪

Tina, I, uh, I hate to criticize

but, uh, this is your new filing system?

Uh, I-I forget to number the pages

and it's all her fault.

Oh, Tina, you've never even met

Mrs. Drummond-Randolph.

Now, how you know you don't like her?

I know I don't like people that have

funny little hyphens in their names

and their friends call 'em Cissy, C-I-S-S-Y

and that she's always getting divorced all the time--

Oh, there's three great reasons for not liking somebody--

Oh, wait, wait, there's another one.

She's always on the ten dressed best

best-dressed...

- You know. - Yes, I know.

Well, she has also inherited five fortunes.

Only five?

And she's an international hostess

and a patroness of the arts.

- How do you know all that? - Because I read it in there.

Now, if you look on page 61

you'll see why I really don't like her.

Hm.

She's sensational-looking.

♪♪

Seventeen, please.

- Don't do that. - I beg your pardon?

- Don't fix your hair. - I don't think I understand.

If you fix your hair, you'll be perfect.

Perfection isn't interesting.

Hey, there's a roof garden upstairs.

I go there before I go to work.

Wanna come along?

Are you quite mad? It's raining.

It's terrific up there when it's raining.

You can see the ocean. Come on.

Thank you very much. I've, uh, seen the ocean.

So you're Tom Corbett.

And you are the lady principal.

Lady principal?

Yeah, I just wanted to say, uh

it's a little joke of my son's.

- Oh. - May I offer you a chair?

- Yes, thank you. - Mm-hmm.

They told me you were young.

Well, is that good or bad?

Well, it depends.

- Are you a good editor? - I am an excellent editor.

- Are you a good husband? - No.

Are you always so honest?

Are you always so inquisitive?

Yes.

Well, to tell the truth

I am not really any kind of a husband.

- I'm a widower. - Oh, I'm sorry.

- You mentioned a son. - Yes, Eddie, seven years old.

Well, perhaps I shall meet him sometime.

Well, he's a fine little fella.

Well, would you like to meet your staff?

Yes, I would.

♪♪

Sorry. Uh-uh, uh...

[Tom] Uh, may I introduce my, uh, secretary, Ms. Rickles.

- Mrs. Drummond-Randolph. - How do you do?

Fine. Thank you.

- I'll put these on the desk. - Mm.

[telephone ringing]

She, um...

- She's scared of you. - Why?

She thinks that you are a paragon of everything.

Oh. Well, she's right.

- I am. - Hm.

[indistinct chatter]

♪♪

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Let me introduce our house genius, Mr. Norman Tinker.

Oh! My lady of the elevator.

Oh, her other name is Mrs. Drummond-Randolph.

- We've already met. - Hm.

Now that we've been properly introduced

perhaps you'd like to go up to the roof garden with me.

- It stopped raining. - Perhaps some other time.

- Okay. - Ah.

You know, no one's ever been able to do justice

in photographs to the towers

and I'm sure I've not broken the record.

Yes, they're called the Watch Towers

and took a man over 30 years to build them.

And all by himself, out of trash and broken things.

Yes, I know.

I made a substantial donation to the group

that was trying to save them.

- Hey, that's groovy. - Yes.

Without people like you, they would have torn them down.

May I congratulate you and also thank you?

[telephone beeping]

Excuse me.

Norman Tinker here. Oh. Hey, Tom, it's for you, pal.

Hm? Oh, excuse me.

- Thanks, Norman. - Mm-hmm.

Yes, hello?

How long has it been since you've seen them?

Well, I've never seen them.

They are in Watts.

Yes. They are in Watts.

Do I hear a tiny accusing note in your voice, Mr. Tinker?

Mm-hmm, I think so.

As long as I do my civic duty, what difference does it make

if I do it at a comfortable distance?

Well, the difference is, unfortunately

you need that comfortable distance.

If you've only seen the photographs

you've never seen the towers.

Perhaps, I will one day.

Perhaps, one day I'd like to take you.

Uh, excuse me, if, uh, you'd like to meet

the rest of the staff before they go to lunch

I think we better get going.

- Of course. - Thank you, Norman.

Mm-hmm. Bye.

It was interesting meeting you, Mr. Tinker.

Thank you.

You're the first free soul I've ever met.

And I hope I'm not the last.

[telephone beeping] Yes, Tina?

Put him on.

[Eddie on phone] Hi, dad, it's me.

Hi, sport. How are the new shoes?

That's what I called to tell you about.

- They're boots. - Oh, neato.

[Tom] They're rubbin' a blister, but I don't care.

I'm never gonna take 'em off.

Uh, well, we'll talk about that when I get home.

Hey, how's your new principal? Gettin' her broken in?

[Tom] Well, things are going as well as can be expected.

Mr. Corbett, she's here again.

Uh, Eddie, uh, look, I-I have to go now.

- I'll see you tonight, okay? - Don't forget, dad.

It takes a while to break 'em in.

Okay, thanks for reminding me.

- Goodbye, dad. - Buh-bye.

What's she doing here? I didn't expect her back today.

She changed her clothes.

I really think she's trying to intimidate me

with her wardrobe.

She is intimidating me with her wardrobe.

I'd really love to tell her to get lost.

Tina.

Yes, sir, I'll tell her to come in.

♪♪

Come in, please.

- Hello. - Well, hello.

I was just passing by on my way to a cocktail party

and I-I thought I'd just drop in

and tell you what I've been thinking.

- Oh. - About your operation here.

- Well, won't you be seated? - Thank you.

I've reviewed your setup and I have some recommendations.

Well, you review quickly.

Now, first off

I think you ought to eliminate your photographic department.

- Why? - Well.

In the interests of financial streamlining.

If you hire a freelance photographer

you'll no longer need a darkroom.

Editors simply don't have house photographers anymore.

Ah. Oh, well.

Norman isn't exactly a house photographer.

He, uh, he's really an associate editor. I need him.

Oh, perhaps, you under-evaluate your own talents.

Well, uh... in any case, um

I'm sorry to reject your recommendation.

Oh, but it isn't a recommendation, Mr. Corbett.

Oh?

Well, you might call it an order

but that's such an unpleasant word.

However, if it comes to that

I can get all the votes I need from my fellow board members.

I am a major stockholder, you know?

Yes, yes, you are a very powerful lady.

There's no question about that. You like that, don't you?

Yeah, well, let's not talk about me.

The photographic department goes, agreed?

Well, the point of it is

that the photographic department is Norman Tinker.

The whole department.

Well, then I guess he has to go, too.

No.

Yes.

Mrs. Drummond-Randolph

we could play this game all day.

Oh, but why? I've already won.

Not yet.

I know that I can't fight you

with the stockholders

or with the board of directors

so I have to use the only thing that's handy.

- Me. - What does that mean?

Well, if you fire Norman Tinker, you fire me.

Oh, that's an important decision.

I hope you don't make it rashly.

I'm making it as a matter of principle.

Principles can be tricky, Mr. Corbett.

Look, if you have any second thoughts

I'm lunching at the Walnut Room tomorrow.

One o'clock.

- Bye-bye. - Buh-bye.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Traumatized. I knew it.

She absolutely, definitely traumatized you.

Can I get you a tranquilizer, Mr. Corbett--

No, no, thank you, Tina.

How about a security blanket?

No, what I'd like is a pad and pencil.

Oh. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

You can doodle away your anxieties.

No, I'm going to dictate

a letter of resignation.

Your letter of resignation? Why?

Well, your friend, the paragon

wants me to fire Norman Tinker.

- What? - Uh...

I'm, uh, trying to decide

whether I should butt in.

Tina, is there any way I can keep you from it?

I don't think so.

Yeah.

People making big decisions

shouldn't make them in big hurries.

- Why not? - Eddie, for one.

I mean, have you thought about how you're gonna tell

that little guy that his father is gonna be on the bread line?

Tina, don't exaggerate.

And don't look at me with those big eyes.

Yes, sir.

Tina, thank you for the recommendation.

You have finished?

Oh. Yes, thank you, Mrs. Livingston.

Do you want me to feel your head, dad?

Hm?

When I don't eat

Mrs. Livingston always feels my head.

Oh, that is to see if you have fever and do not fell well.

Well, I feel fine, Eddie, just fine.

If there is something wrong, you could tell me.

I always tell you.

No, there's nothing wrong.

That's not true.

There is something wrong and I'd like to tell you about it

and I like to tell you, too, Mrs. Livingston.

- If you don't mind. - Alright.

What's wrong, sport?

Well...

You know that new lady principal

that, uh, that we have at the office?

Mm-hmm.

Well, she wants me to get rid of my darkroom.

What's wrong about that?

If I get rid of the darkroom

I have to fire Uncle Norman.

You mean, he would not work at magazine anymore?

That's right.

And are you gonna do it, dad?

No. No, I'm not, Eddie.

I'll tell you why.

I can't let somebody else run the magazine

when I'm the one that's being paid to do it.

And I need Uncle Norman.

Then what is the problem?

Well, the problem is

if she insists on closing the department

I'm gonna have to quit.

That's what I'd do, too.

Well, thanks, sport.

Mrs. Livingston

all that silence, does it mean something?

I was thinking.

Yeah.

I think that two friends without a job

will be worse than one.

What do you mean?

With some of your salary

you could pay his rent until he finds a new job.

[Tom] Uh, no, no, Norman would never allow that.

That's charity.

[doorbell ringing]

I will get that.

Uh, sport...

...now, you do realize that if I quit my job

there's gonna be less money to spend around here.

- I know. - Buenos noches. Buenos noches.

- Hello, Norman. - Uncle Norman!

I've come by so you can wish me a bon voyage.

- What's bon voyage? - Well.

It means this free soul is going on a trip

and you can wish me a pleasant journey.

- Oh, now wait a second-- - Hey, wait a minute.

No fancy fruits, no champagnes

no exotic cheeses, please.

A simple bon voyagewill do it.

- Where are you going? - Uh, uh, hold on.

- I got a better question. - Mm-hmm.

How did you find out about my

little talk with Mrs. Drummond-Randolph?

I don't even know what you're talking about.

Why don't you have a piece of cake?

Boy, I thought I'd never--

Mm, yeah, Tina, huh? Tina?

- Tina, who? - Tina, the blabber mouth.

- That's who. - Oh, Tina, the blabber mouth.

She was practically in tears when I told her.

She thought she'd have to get along without the both of us.

When I explained it's just you and I'm off to Tahiti

she was very happy about the whole--

Norman, I'm not gonna let it happen.

- Mm. Sure, you are. - Sure, I'm not.

Mm, my head is older and wiser than yours.

It's also hairier.

Tom, when you get on your white charger

and go off to fight the Crusades

do it for something that counts.

I happen to think this is something that counts.

Not enough to quit your job.

A freelance photographer can always go to work.

Freelance editor...

Save the heroic stance for the heroic issues.

Hm, you know something, you should have been a politician

with all that ringing rhetoric.

Did I sell you on my platform?

Uh...

He who hesitates is sold.

I tell you what, Tom, until I find another job

you can help me with the rent.

But dad said that would be charity.

What's wrong with charity?

Are you sure I look okay to meet your principal today, dad?

I am absolutely positive.

And are you sure she doesn't mind

if you take me to lunch with you?

Hey, hey, Saturday is your day.

Are you sure you don't mind giving a part of it

to join us for lunch?

Does she have to go to the beach with us afterwards?

No, she does not.

- Hm. - Hm.

Then I'm sure I don't mind.

- Hm. - Hm.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

[laughing]

[indistinct chatter]

♪♪

And so the darkroom goes and I stay.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - What are we cheering?

Sound fiscal policy.

That doesn't sound very cheerful to me.

Yeah, well, I'll explain it to you later, sport.

You know, you really couldn't afford that darkroom.

And frankly, now that he's gone, too

you couldn't afford Mr. Tinker's image.

His image?

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean.

Oh, you know what I mean, that long hair

those things he wears around his neck

uh, going up into the roof in the rain

and that ridiculous T-shirt.

Don't you like Uncle Norman?

Uh, uh, uh, just one second. Uh, excuse me.

Uh, waiter?

Yes, sir?

Um, ahem, could you, uh, could you take my son

and-and get him a, uh, a Tom mix?

[male 1] Certainly, sir.

- A Tom mix? - Mm-hmm.

With a, uh, an extra slice of orange?

- Yes, sir. - Neato!

[chuckles] Yeah.

Uh, now, you, uh, you were saying?

Oh, well, uh, let's just forget about it.

He's just not the sort of man I care for.

- Why? - Oh, he's ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

[scoffs]

Well, I would think that if he's just ridiculous

you wouldn't have spent so much time trying to get rid of him.

Oh, but I got rid of a darkroom.

I don't think so.

I think you got rid of a man

whose personal image offended you.

Why do you think he offends me?

I don't know.

Unless

it's that he is something that you are not.

- And what is that? - Free.

Yes, I think now I understand

why you wanted to get rid of him.

Ah. I don't think I know what you're talking about.

Why don't we have another martini?

Well, because I'm leaving.

But you haven't had your lunch.

No, I mean, I'm leaving the magazine.

You just agreed to stay.

Hm, but that was before I realized

what this battle is really all about.

Well, perhaps, you'll enlighten me

what is it all about.

Freedom...

...and those who are not free...

...trying to destroy those that are.

- That's absurd. - No. I don't think so.

As in the case of Norman

now, he is so... open

to all the positive aspects of life.

And he doesn't know when he's being attacked...

...until it's too late.

Y-you know, I really don't know what you're talking about.

I'm saying...

...that it's the job of the Tom Corbetts

to defend the Norman Tinkers...

...against the Mrs. Drummond-Randolphs.

♪♪

Well...

...if you'll excuse me.

Certainly.

♪♪

Well.

I was just passing on my way to a dinner party.

You do go to a lot of parties. Won't you come in?

Well, I've been thinking and I wanted to tell you about it.

- Yes, I'm listening. - Yeah.

What I've been thinking is...

...you're quite a man.

Oh, well, uh, thank you. Thank you very much.

You really stood up to me and I'm not used to that.

Well, it's very easy to stand up for something

when you believe in it.

Well, not necessarily

not when it costs a man his job.

Hm.

I've also been thinking about me

and your, your free friend.

I suspect what you said may be true.

You know, if I got that across to you, I'm very pleased.

I said, "May be true."

Well, I'll settle for that much right now.

Will you and Mr. Tinker continue to run the magazine?

Please?

♪♪

I think that can be arranged.

[sighs] Oh, good. I'm going on a cruise.

There are a couple of things I'd like to think more about.

- Where are you going? - Oh.

Somewhere where they have a rain forest.

I'd like to stand under it without an umbrella.

Good for you.

But if I don't like getting wet, I'm going to come back in.

Well, you just let us know how it turns out.

[Eddie] She said in her postcard

that she was havin' a neato time.

She said, "Neato?"

Well, she said "Marvy"

but dad said it means the same.

- Well, how's it goin'? - Hey, terrific.

Yeah, it's all finished. And she's gonna love it.

- Hey, great color, salmon. - It's not salmon.

- Oh. Well, coral. - It's not coral, either.

- What color is it? - It's supposed to be pink.

I think it's a nice color for a lady.

- Marvy. Neato. - Right.

[birds chirping]

[Eddie] Is it more fun to be a grown-up than a little kid?

[Tom] Well, I'd say that depends on the grown-up

and the little kid.

[Eddie] Which one would you rather be?

[Tom] I guess I'd rather be a grown-up little kid.

[Eddie] I guess I'd rather be

a little kid grown-up.

Do you think I ought to start looking for a wife?

[Tom] Well, I think you can put it off for a little while.

[Eddie] Yeah, but what if it takes me as long as it's taking you?

I'll be a real old man.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa-pya ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one-boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra ra-pya ♪♪