Original subtitles

Dad, is it true the cat played the fiddle?

A lot of people think so, Eddie.

[Eddie] And the cow jumped over the moon?

[Tom] A lot of people believe that too.

Where do you think the cow got his oxygen supplies, dad?

- I know why it rains. - Why?

[Eddie] Because the sky has something in its eye.

[Eddie laughs]

Dad, what does the Mississippi river eat?

- Well, nothing. - It has a mouth.

But not with teeth, Eddie.

[Eddie] Oh, I guess it just has to drink soup.

["Best friend" by Nilsson]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪

[scatting]

[scatting continues]

[boy 1] Hey, Eddie Corbett! Bet you can't do this!

Bet you I can.

[boys laughing]

What's funny?

- Her. - Why?

She's gonna have a baby.

That's not funny. That's nice.

She doesn't even know anything about it.

That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

It's gonna be a surprise.

I'll bet ya. I'll bet ya'll.

We bet you ten chocolate malted balls each, okay?

Okay, you got yourself a bet.

But how can a lady having a baby not know she's having it?

Not the baby, the party!

What party?

All our mothers are getting together

and having a surprise party

for Miss Lister before she goes to the hospital.

And we all got to bring something

our mother's going to make for the party.

♪♪

Hey, we won.

You owe us ten chocolate malted balls.

What's the matter with him?

I don't know. Maybe he's a sore loser.

Yeah.

Eddie, are you sure you're alright?

Sure, I'm fine.

- Goodnight, Mrs. Livingston. - Goodnight.

Eddie...

You did not eat much for dinner.

If something is bothering you, I am your friend.

I know, you're my friend.

Yes.

Well, goodnight.

Eddie.

Now, what is wrong, please?

Why are you called Mrs. Livingston?

It is the English translation

of my Japanese name.

What's your Japanese name?

If people could say it

I would not call myself Mrs. Livingston.

Well, what if you were Miss Livingston?

That would mean, I am not married

or I have never been married.

If a lady isn't married or has never been married before

can she still have a baby?

- Yes. - Oh.

Goodnight, Mrs. Livingston.

♪♪

"Dear, Miss Lister.

"I have no mother, but I do have a father.

"And you're going to have a baby and you're not married.

"All I can give you is my father

"for your surprise party.

"I hope this is enough of a surprise.

Eddie Corbett."

[Mrs. Livingston] Eddie.

Eddie, what are you doing awake?

I'm doing my homework.

I didn't know you had homework.

Sure, we just started getting it.

Don't you know how much older I'm getting?

Oh, Eddie, here, I have brought you 30 chocolate malted ball

you ask for.

- Thank you. - I thought you'd be asleep.

What are they for?

I lost a bet in school.

Eddie, you were gambling?

Well, she looked like a sure thing.

Sure thing?

I'll be asleep right away, Mrs. Livingston.

Alright. Your father telephoned.

He said he will be back from San Francisco tomorrow morning.

Do you understand?

Wakata.

Wakata. Good.

I will be sleeping on the couch inside.

And if there's anything you want.

Goodnight.

Eddie...

Eddie, if there's anything you need.

I need a mother.

♪♪

Eddie get off to school alright?

Yes, after I convinced him

he will be late for school

if he waited for you to come home.

Oh, good, good. But, uh, he left his lunch box.

That is too bad. He made it himself too.

Really? Lot of peanut butter and pickles.

Eddie likes strange combinations.

Yes. Well, I guess it's just as well that he's gonna

end up eating in the cafeteria today.

"Mrs. Tom Corbett."

Mrs. Livingston, do we know a Mrs. Barbara Harris?

No.

Hmm.

Oh. This is from, uh...

...one of the mothers of one of Eddie's classmates.

It seems they're giving a surprise party

for Eddie's teacher, and, uh...

...she wants all the mothers of the students

to help with the party.

Oh...

That must be why Eddie said what he said last night.

What'd he say?

That he needed a mother.

Oh, are you sure that that's what he said?

Yes.

♪♪

[sighs]

Eddie Corbett.

[Eddie] Dear, Miss Lister.

I have no mother, but I do have a father.

And you're going to have a baby.

So all I can give you is my father for your...

Surprise party?

Oh, Miss Lister.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Harris.

Can I help you?

N-no.

Yes.

I thought you would be at your baby doctor's.

Well, I go in a few minutes.

Oh.

Uh, b-but, I just knew I'd catch you here.

To, um, to approve a list.

- Yes? - Yes.

Um, you see, I'm going to be giving

a little birthday party for Lee.

And I wondered if I have all the names of her classmates.

Wouldn't want to overlook anyone.

Mm.

Oh, yes, uh, these are all of the students in my class.

Good.

Because I want to give a, a fun party.

- For my daughter. - I'm sure you do.

Well, if you'll excuse me, Mrs. Harris

I'll have to leave now.

I'm off to see the wizard.

[both laughing]

Follow the yellow brick road.

[school bell rings]

Yes, I'll wait.

Oh, Mr. Corbett.

This is Miss Lister.

I'm Eddie's teacher.

I'd like to see you if I can.

Well, yes, it is important.

[chuckles] No, Eddie's not in any trouble.

Well, yes, he is.

You see, I'm going to have a baby, and...

Yes, Miss Lister.

Well, it does involve Eddie.

Well, look, I can't explain it on the phone.

Oh, you will?

Good, uh, I'll wait for you in the teacher's coffee room.

[chuckles] Yes, you'll recognize me.

I'm the teacher with...

...blue eyes.

♪♪

♪ Ta ra ta ra ♪♪

Miss Lister.

Oh, how do you do?

- You certainly do... - I do?

...have blue eyes.

[chuckles] I also have a letter

from your son. Eddie.

Oh.

Would you like some coffee?

Oh, uh, yes, please. Black.

Okay.

Oh...

Oh, Miss Lister, you have to understand that, um...

my boy Eddie is very, very sweet and a very generous boy.

Oh, don't get nervous, Mr. Corbett.

My name is Mrs. Rogall. Miss Lister is my teaching name.

I-I sort of figured something like that.

Now, I can explain to Eddie that I am married.

But I can't explain how the other mothers...

...overlooked the fact that Eddie doesn't have a mother.

If I'd known, I could've stopped the letter.

But it was a surprise party.

Well, it just so happens that, um...

I also received a letter.

- Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Cor-- - No, no, no.

It's a fact of life that Eddie has no mother.

And that he and I take care of each other.

And we do a pretty good job of it.

Good for you.

You know, Eddie has, uh...

...fixed me up with ladies before.

But never one, um...

...in that condition.

But, well, but we manage.

I'm sure you do.

Miss Lister, I realize that this is a very important party.

And you must also realize that I just can't go out

and get a mother...

...just to save your party.

[chuckles] No on expects you to do that.

- Yeah, especially Eddie. - Right.

Uh, but...

...on the other hand, I am his parent.

And, well, I don't think

just because I'm his father

I can't do some of the things

that a mother could do.

Do you?

Of course, not.

Uh, no, now...

No, um, never mind, it's a, it's a bad idea.

I always teach the children never to reject an idea

without at least trying it.

Is that what you always teach your children?

That's what I always teach them, Mr. Corbett.

- Goodbye. - Miss Lister.

♪♪

[children shouting]

Paper hats. Miss Baldassare will supply paper napkins and cups.

Mrs. Felny will deliver the candies.

Mrs. Basimson, the fruit punch and the ice cream.

Uh... I'm sorry.

Uh, this is Miss Lister's class?

Well, yes.

Oh, yeah, well then, then, uh...

you must all be the, the mothers of Miss Lister's children.

Yes, we are. But I'm sorry, this is a private meeting.

And you must be Mrs. Barbara Harris.

That's right.

Ah. Well...

You invited me.

My, my name is, uh, is Corbett.

But you can all c-call me Tom.

Um, I'm Eddie Corbett's mother.

- Mr. Corbett. - Tom.

We're serious.

Well, so am I.

You ladies do understand, don't you?

Oh, we fully appreciate your problem

and, uh, I-I'm terribly sorry I didn't realize Eddie...

...had no mother.

Mr. Corbett, this party is for ladies.

Oh, well, I am terribly, terribly sorry.

I thought it was for Eddie's teacher.

- Oh, w-well, it is. - Oh, good.

Oh, well, then Eddie can contribute

something to the party.

But all we have open

is finger sandwiches.

I accept fingertip sandwiches.

I heard your father say he's gonna make

the fingertip sandwiches.

Where'd you hear that?

From the mothers.

Oh.

My dad's terrific

at fingertip sandwiches.

He is?

My dad can do anything.

He can't make fingertip sandwiches.

Our mothers should make them.

I heard my mother say

your father is gonna ruin our party.

Okay, who first?

Who first what?

Who wants a punch in the nose?

Eddie, you have not been eating like yourself.

Yes, I have.

No, I do not agree.

But it's me that's eating. I must be like myself.

Eddie, I insist. What is bothering you?

Do you know how to make fingertip sandwiches?

Is it like norimaki?

Shiranai.

I cannot make something I do not know what it is.

[Tom] Hey, anybody home?

Clear off the sink port 'cause here comes the chef.

- Hi, Mrs. Livingston. - Good evening.

- Hi, dad. - Hi, sport, uh...

Listen, I was over at your school today.

- Oh. - Yeah, and I, uh...

I found out about Miss Lister's party.

- Oh. - I want you to know...

...that we will be making a contribution

just like all the other students.

I am going to be making

fingertip sandwiches for the group.

What do you think of that?

Well...

[speaking Japanese]

You know how to make 'em?

Yes, Eddie, it's very similar to norimaki.

- Hmm? - Good.

- You make that great! - Uh, wait a minute, Eddie.

I wanna make the sandwiches.

But Mrs. Livingston can make 'em.

I will be very happy to help, Mr. Eddie's fa--

Uh, no, no, Mrs. Livingston.

I volunteered to make the sandwiches

I should make the sandwiches.

I understand. It is matter of honor.

Exactly.

Listen, I didn't want you to be left out.

Well, thanks, dad, but...

But? But what?

Are you sure you can make 'em good?

Ah! Terrific!

♪♪

I know you watch over us, mom.

So watch out for dad and his fingertip sandwiches.

Don't let him make 'em too bad.

He's trying, and that's what counts.

♪ Sandwiches for kids ♪

♪ Are made of strange ♪

♪ Things ♪

♪ Peanut butter pickles and some ♪

♪ Jelly beans ♪♪

♪♪

Oh! Mother of the year.

[cheering]

[applauding]

Mothers, boys, and girls...

Well, I don't know what to say.

The beautiful gifts and the plaque...

Well, and such a surprise!

The gifts and the plaque are from the mothers.

And the party is from your students.

Mrs. Baldassare and Mrs. Basimson

the party please.

[cheering]

Yay!

Mr. Corbett, uh, Eddie Corbett's parent

was suppose to bring the finger sandwiches, but...

Well, he made 'em.

[Mrs. Harris] Oh, I'm sure he did, Eddie.

But we can't wait for them.

I'm sure the children are hungry.

[in unison] Yeah!

Alright, children, line up over here for the food.

Did I hear somebody mention food?

Dad!

A-ha!

[Eddie] Hey, these are those terrific sandwiches.

Oh, what a mess!

[Miss Lister] Alright, children, we can start filling our plates.

- Glad you made it. - Yeah, so am I.

[Eddie] Hey, these are terrific!

Hey, try some of my dad's sandwiches. They're terrific.

I'm telling you, they're terrific.

Oh, yeah?

Try one.

♪♪

- Hey, they're good! - See, I told ya.

♪ Don't forget your dad is still your best friend ♪♪

- That's not bad. - Hey, they are delicious.

I never tasted finger sandwiches like these before.

- Neither did I. - They really are delicious!

- What is in them? - Ah, yes.

Uh, well, um, well I used a little, uh, chopped, uh, hotdog.

Uh, some peanut butter, mayonnaise.

Some, uh, chocolate.

A little pickle.

- Pickles? - Yes. Yeah, with milk.

- Oh. - Yeah, and then of course...

A dash of jelly beans

and then of course chewing gum.

Chewing gum?

You have heard about

finger sandwiches and chewing gum?

No.

Gives them substance.

♪♪

I lied about the pickles and milk.

Oh.

- What's that? - Well, its a plaque.

They gave it to me, but it belongs to you.

What's it say?

"Mother of the year."

[Eddie] "Mother of the year." Neat-o!

There. Now we have all of the ingredients.

Hey, dad, can I stay up for a few minutes and watch?

Yeah, for a few minutes I suppose will be alright.

- Mr. Eddie's father. - Mm-hmm.

Are you sure all of this goes into this sandwich?

I am absolutely positive.

- Chopped hotdogs? - Mm-hmm.

Sure. That's what made the sandwiches really terrific.

Well, I'm glad I came through for you, sport.

I wish, I could come through for you, Mr. Eddie's father.

It is hopeless.

Well, uh, there, uh...

[clears throat] There-there is a secret.

Please, dad, tell her.

That way I can take your sandwiches to school

and share 'em with the other kids for lunch.

- Mm-hmm. See the time? - Mm.

Time for you to go to bed, okay?

Okay, goodnight, dad.

Goodnight, sport.

- Goodnight, Mrs. Livingston. - Goodnight, Eddie.

Happy cooking!

Yes!

Now, Mrs. Livingston, you realize of course

that all the great chefs in the world are men.

Yes.

Chocolate balls...

...mustard...

...and chopped jelly beans.

- The mix must be a secret. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

First, you take a bottle of bourbon

and then you take a good belt.

Belt?

- A swig. - Drink?

Hey,you're supposed to be in bed.

But I thought I'd stay up to see if you needed any help.

Oh, I see.

Well, if I do, I'll wake you up.

- Okay. - Okay.

[grunts] Up we go.

Goodnight, dad. I love you.

I love you too, Eddie.

Sleep tight.

And thanks for being my mother too, dad.

- Okay. Goodnight, sport. - Goodnight.

♪♪

Dad, do you ever wake up when it's still dark?

Yes, I do.

What if you do, and can't go back to sleep?

Oh.

I think.

I know. I think about her too.

[quacks]

Dad, Mrs. Livingston reads her paper from back to front.

Mm-hmm. That's the way the Japanese do it, Eddie.

[Eddie] Well, are they wrong?

[Tom] They don't think so.

[Eddie] I hope they are, otherwise

I've learned it all backwards.

[ducks quacking]

Dad, I'm gonna be a vegetarian.

[Tom] Oh, what do you think a vegetarian is?

That's a person who eats vegetables

when the meat got burned.

Dad, why do people get married?

[Tom] Because they love each other.

[Eddie] Can we get married?

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪