Original subtitles

[Eddie] Dad, why do I have to go to school?

[Tom] It's the law, Eddie.

You can grow up tall and straight like that tree

and become a man and walk proudly among your fellow men.

- Watch your step, dad. - Yeah, thanks, Eddie.

[Eddie] When I grow up and become a man, can I live all alone?

[Tom] Uh-huh.

[Eddie] And can I work all day

and go out with girls all night?

- Yeah, yes. - Sounds terrific, dad.

[Eddie] But right now, can you carry me?

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

Well, here it is your first day of school, Eddie.

I remember the day you were born. It seems like yesterday.

I wish it was yesterday.

Eddie, school is great. When I was your age, I loved it.

Then you go instead of me.

Eddie, you're gonna love it too.

Why did you stop if it was that good?

Well, you don't go to school forever

when you know enough, you stop.

- You know enough? - Um...

I know everything I gotta know, dad.

I love you and I love Mrs. Livingston.

My goldfish smile when I feed them.

I don't wanna go to school, dad.

Eddie, you have to.

You don't want me around anymore.

Eddie, that's not true.

Look...

You and I are best friends, right?

And I'm your dad and you're my son

and nothing's ever gonna change that.

This will.

Eddie, you have the wrong attitude.

If you don't want me to be unhappy.

Then don't send me away.

I am not sending you away.

Good, then I can stay home and play with

Mrs. Livingston and my goldfish.

Eddie, Eddie you have to go to school.

Now that's the law.

What kind of law?

Well, if you don't go, they send a man around

and he can make an awful lot of trouble.

What kinda man?

He's an officer of the law.

That means school must be bad.

Why?

If you got a man

to come to the door and he's an officer

and if you don't wanna go then he can make trouble.

That means school is bad.

Why am I arguing with you?

Hey, come on.

Get into this sweater. Come on.

Hurry, Eddie. The bus will be downstairs soon.

- You don't want to miss it. - Yes, I do.

- Come! Oh, you look wonderful. - He's a regular Joe Colin.

Eddie, I packed your favorite lunch.

Alright, now before you catch your bus.

I have to have a picture of your first day of school.

Uh...

Okay.

Eddie, look happy.

I can't smile, dad. But I'll try not to cry.

- Say, belly button. - Belly button.

Alright, now remember

you wait by the front door

and the school bus'll pick you up there.

[speaking in Japanese]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪♪

[sighing]

Maybe I shoulda waited another semester.

He's still pretty young.

Did you see how tough that was for him?

Oh, I could understand it.

It must be difficult for both of you.

Yeah, he's still my baby.

Growing up is something we all have to do.

Um-hmm.

You know when I was a child

I didn't want to go to school either.

But I wish I knew my parent felt like you do.

Please believe me, Mr. Eddie's father.

It will be alright.

Hell, I hope so. I don't know.

Pushing him out in the world like that.

I'm leaving him you know.

No, you're right, Mrs. Livingston.

I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

As of today my little boy, Eddie

is no longer a little boy.

And as of today, he's a man.

I couldn't reach the button.

♪♪

[laughing]

♪ When you're alone ♪

♪ Do do do doo ♪

♪ Do do do doo ♪

♪ Hmm hmm ♪♪

♪♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪♪

Hey, Norman. Hey!

Maybe you're just the genius I want to see.

Have I got a great girl for you.

Hey, not bad, Ronald. Not bad at all.

Can you ride a camel?

Norman, would I bring you a girl

that couldn't ride a camel?

Okay, Ronald. Ciao.

- Morning, Tina. - Ciao.

[phone ringing]

Mr. Corbett's office.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. He's in conference right now

with Mr. Tinker, his art director.

Oh, may I take a message? Yes.

You would like to do an article on topless squirrels

in our city parks.

Uh, yes. I'll-I'll tell Mr. Tinker.

And, uh, maybe he'd like to take some photographs.

Yes. Oh, are the squirrels cooperative?

Huh?

- Tom? - Huh.

Did you hear me?

Yeah, you said the layout on the "Back to school"

thing is great and the children were photogenic and energetic...

- No. - No?

- Uh-uh. - It's Eddie, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, Norman.

That's where your head is at.

Whenever you get this preoccupied

or pensive early in the morning, it's Eddie.

Yeah, well, you're right.

- He started school today. - Yeah, well, that's great.

I'm not so sure. He's a different child.

- I agree. He's terrific. - Nah, that's not what I mean.

I'm not really sure he's gotten over losing his mother.

Well, if he hasn't, uh...

school's probably the best thing in the world for him.

Being thrown in with other children.

Now, that's what I'm worried about.

"Being thrown in."

Oh, Mr. Tinker, uh

the model you were talking to outside

she wants to know, is it going to be a very high camel?

Well, uh, take your average camel.

[phone ringing] I'll get it.

Tom, please don't worry about Eddie.

It's... Believe me, it's gonna be just fine.

Uh, Mr. Corbett's office.

[Norman] 'He's gonna go to school

he's gonna make new friends

he's gonna learn how to read

write, demonstrate.

Yeah, you're right.

[Tom] Now, look, Norman, I do wanna run a

"Back to the school" piece in our next issue.

I wanna do it on, on little kids.

Kids that are learning to adjust.

Just like Eddie is learning to adjust.

So, get the old head in motion, will ya?

And dream up some kind of a picture layout for me.

Oh, Mr. Corbett, it's Mrs. Livingston for you.

Oh, thanks, Tina.

Hello.

Well, would you please call the school

and tell them he'll be there.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Eddie's having a little trouble.

♪♪

Poor baby.

Eddie?

Tom.

[Mr. Corbett] Eddie?

Eddie, what are you doing home?

I was hungry, dad.

I got off the bus and saw the school

and all of a sudden I got hungry.

So, I came back home to eat.

Didn't you have breakfast this morning?

Eddie, I don't like it when you lie to me.

[doorbell ringing]

Excuse me.

Dad, now I'll tell you the truth.

I thought Mrs. Livingston looked very sad

when I left this morning.

So, I came back home to make her feel better.

- Eddie, that's a lie. - Well, I was hungry, look.

Eddie, you have a company from your school.

♪♪

- Uh, hello, I'm Tom Corbett. - Estelle Sherman.

I'm the supervisor of attendance at Eddie's school.

You said, she was goin' to be a big man.

We understand you're having a little trouble

getting Eddie to school today.

Well, we got him started in a manner of speaking.

I think Eddie's just having his

first-day-of-the-school fright.

There's nothing to be afraid of, Eddie.

Why, most children are a little afraid

the first time they start school.

But there's nothing to be afraid off.

How old are you?

- Eddie! - Are you married?

[Mr. Corbett] Eddie.

We live here all alone.

Just dad and me and Mrs. Livingston.

Uh, Eddie. Would you excuse us for a minute, please?

Why, what an interesting child.

And, and so inquisitive.

- Do you like Ms. Sherman? - Do you?

- Do you? - Do you?

Well, yes I do.

But I think I know what's on your mind.

Do you really, dad? 'Cause if you do...

I could go to school and maybe

you could start hanging around once in a while.

Maybe you could start takin' her out.

Uh, well I, I don't know

how she'll feel about that.

But I'm willing to give it a try.

I'll go to school, dad.

Thank you, Eddie.

You're welcome, dad.

Okay, I'm ready to go to school now.

Oh, that's wonderful, Eddie.

Well, you know what they say

it's a wise child who knows his own father.

It's so nice to have met you, Mr. Corbett.

- Thank you for coming by. - Come on.

- What did you tell Eddie? - Oh...

Something about young lady?

Well, you know I don't like Eddie

to find my date's for me.

But in this case you have to admit, she's attractive

and she's personable.

However... this time

I appeal to his sense of logic.

His capacity to reason and he understood completely.

And why shouldn't he? After all, he's his father's son.

She's married.

[yawning]

What am I gonna do, mom?

I wanna go to school like dad and Mrs. Livingston want me too.

And be a good kid.

But I just don't wanna go to school.

♪ La la ♪

♪ La la ♪♪

"Dear, dad. I-I love you.

"I'm running away from home.

"I love Mrs. Livingston too.

"Please tell her...

"...a joke

"so she doesn't cry.

"And tell Uncle Norman

"I'm doing my own thing.

"He'll understand.

"I'm not afraid of going to school.

"But I just don't want

to grow up and leave you."

Eddie, you can't run away

from home without leaving me a letter.

And you can't leave me a letter until you learn how to write.

And that's why you have to go to school.

Okay, dad.

I have to work late tonight, Eddie.

So I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Now, you be a good boy and I wanna full report at breakfast.

Then the teacher read a story.

Oh. What did you do after lunch?

Well, we just sat around and had a rest period.

One of the other boys, he was bigger than me

he hit me.

Did the teacher see it?

No.

Well, Eddie, uh...

You're gonna have to tell him to stop it.

And if he does it again

I guess you'll have to hit him back.

- What about real big kids? - What about 'em?

What if suppose there's one who is about that big

who looks like he wants to hit me, hard?

Oh, him you don't have to hit.

Do I have to go to school today, dad?

I mean, can't someone come to the house and teach me?

Eddie, you have to go to school.

Now, get your lunch from Mrs. Livingston

and put on your sweater and get ready.

- How's Eddie? - He's fine.

J-and... Just-just finally got up

had breakfast this morning, went to school.

No complaints.

Well, listen, how's the shooting coming, Norman?

- Terrific, uh, Tina, the light. - What about it?

- Turn it off, please. - Oh.

Your idea of doing a "Back to school" article was terrific.

And it's gonna have miles and miles of heart.

[Tom] As long as it has miles and miles of trauma.

You know, the idea is, a little bird having to leave the nest.

Hey, that's terrific. Why don't you write it down?

You're the writer, Norman.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Thank you.

- Hmm. - Hmm.

Norman! Norman, that's a squirrel!

Uh, uh, Mr. Tinker, I'm so sorry.

I must've handed you the wrong film.

You see, that's another story, Mr. Corbett.

Someone was complaining about naked animals in the city parks.

Na-na... Naked animals in the city parks?

Yes, and, uh, so Mr. Tinker was trying to show

that they don't appeal to prurient interests.

Pr-prurient interest? Uh-hmm.

- Here you go. - What? What's that?

Little boys and girls bravely marching off

into an imposing new world.

[Tom] Oh, that's great.

[phone ringing] Oh, I'll get it.

- Mr. Tinker's dark room. - Hey, wait a minute, Tom.

You just told me, Eddie didn't complain about going to school.

Uh, yes, you can put the call through.

Well, he didn't complain exactly

but he did mumble and shuffle his feet a lot.

Uh, could you talk a little slower, please?

What's that?

It's a little boy carrying his

little girlfriend's books to school.

- Ah, yeah. - They're in the second grade.

- They're engaged. - Engaged?

Um-hmm. Except he cheats.

He's got a little girl in the third grade

he keeps buying sodas for her during recess.

Norman, little boys and little girls don't do that.

No, they don't. I have a son, Norman.

Mr. Corbett, I-I think it's Mrs. Livingston on the phone.

Oh, thanks, Tina.

Squirrels?

Yes, hello. What?

I-I'll be right there, Mrs. Livingston.

[sighing] Well...

Eddie's home from school again.

Only this time he got into a fight.

I hit him back just like you said, dad.

And I didn't cry.

- What started the fight? - I don't know.

He just didn't like me.

- How do you know? - I could tell.

None of them liked me.

Not like you and I like each other.

They're not supposed to, Eddie.

I don't want to go to school, ever.

Dad...

...what you said about telling the truth

I didn't hit him back, I hit him first.

- Why? - Well...

We were just talking about

what we have to wear to school

and what kinda lunch we bring.

Yes?

And then I told him about Mrs. Livingston.

How she lays out my clothes

and how I speak Japanese.

And they didn't believe me.

And that started the fight?

Well, then I told 'em why Mrs. Livingston's with us

because I have no mother.

One of the boys thought it was funny, he laughed at me.

So, I hit him.

♪♪

- Mrs. Livingston. - Yes.

Did Eddie tell you why he had his fight?

Yes.

Well, I know he has to go to school, eventually

and I've been thinking about it.

I'm gonna get him a tutor.

What is tutor?

Well, a tutor is teacher that teaches at home.

Oh...

- He will not be happy. - Why not?

Because he would like it for a while

but I don't think he wants to be different from another children.

- He wouldn't be different. - Yes.

He's going to be lonely and he cannot be around

with another people.

You're right.

Well, having a tutor is good

but not for this reason.

You are protecting him from something

he cannot be protected from.

♪♪

♪ If you wanna be a cowboy ♪

♪ You better rest a while ♪

♪ Doo ♪♪

♪ When you're alone ♪

Good morning.

Good morning, dad. What's that?

Well, if you're not gonna go to school today

school is coming to you.

You mean, I don't have to go to school?

No, not today or tomorrow or the next day.

You're gonna get someone to teach me here?

What? Entrust you with somebody else?

Why, you might not like him.

And even worse, you might like him too much.

Then where would I be? No, Eddie.

No, I'm gonna have to teach you myself.

You are? That's great, dad.

And are you gonna learn. Believe me, you are gonna learn.

You see this pile of books?

You will have these all read by the end of the month.

- Dad, I can't read. - See how far behind you are?

I'm gonna teach you myself and it's gonna be a crash course.

And, Eddie, this will be harder than school ever was.

- Okay! - Hmm. Well, alright. Come on.

Class is this way.

"Principles Of New Math."

We'll come back to this.

"See, spot run. Run, spot, run.

See, puff, run. Run, puff, run."

Well, it's a boring plot.

"Principles of Economic Determinism."

"Man should learn to put reigns

"on his audacious tendencies

toward too much precipitation."

Now, have you got that much?

Don't you have to go to work, dad?

Well, Eddie, I can't go to work and teach you at the same time.

How 'bout Mrs. Livingston, can't she teach me?

Well, Eddie...

Mrs. Livingston won't be with us anymore.

- She won't? - No, no, you see if I...

If I can't go to work and earn some money

then we won't be able to pay her.

You mean we won't be able to see her anymore?

Well, I can ask her to visit from time to time.

- No Mrs. Livingston? - No.

Gee, dad, maybe school won't be so bad.

Eddie, you don't seem to be able to get along there.

But I could try again.

Well, probably wouldn't work.

After all, there is, uh...

There's still have that fellow you had the fight with.

I bet I could make him my friend

if I really tried to.

Please, dad. Can I go?

Well, um, if you insist.

I bet I can make the bus if I get dressed fast.

Okay, hop to.

Did you hear? He's going to school.

Oh, that's good.

Yes, we had a nice, long talk.

That's nice.

I used logic, sincerity

reasoning and I lied.

Oh, it is alright sometimes to tell small lie in big codes.

Oh, is that an old Japanese proverb?

No, I made it up myself.

Hey, Eddie, Eddie. Hey, slow down.

You're gonna get indigestion.

I don't wanna miss the school bus, dad.

I made delicious, Japanese style coffee.

Uh-huh, thank you. Eddie!

- Are-are you alright? - Sure, dad.

But you have ten minutes to catch the school bus.

I wanna get a front seat in the school bus

'cause Bill Gerber

he's gonna introduce me to this girl

and she's in third grade

and her father owns an amusement park

and if you buy her sodas during recess

you'll get on all the rides for free.

- Bye, Mrs. Livingston. - Bye.

- I love you. - Thank you.

- Bye, dad. - Yes, good luck.

- Happy now? - Yeah, he sure is.

No, no, no. I mean you.

Mm. And I didn't wanna send him out into the world.

Oh, it is natural.

Well, I know what it was of course, I...

I just didn't want him to leave me.

I know.

Well, I suppose we all have to grow up sooner or later.

Yes.

As parents.

[Eddie] Wow, this is terrific, dad.

[Tom] I'm glad you're having fun, Eddie.

[Eddie] If I keep going to school

when I grow up I'll learn how to build one of these.

[Tom] Sure, if you want to.

[Eddie] And I'll build it all the way up to the moon.

[Tom] You wanna go to the moon, Eddie?

- Sure. - Why?

[Eddie] Well, I know you wanna get married again.

You don't seem to be having much luck down here.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you about my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪