Original subtitles

I can't reach the pedal!

Ah, don't worry, Eddie.

Someday you're gonna grow tall

just like these trees.

Yeah, but for now, you're having

to do all the work.

I don't mind, Eddie.

I do! I want to help.

If I wasn't here

would you go faster?

Yes, Eddie.

But it wouldn't be as much fun.

Why didn't we invite Mrs. Livingston along?

She can reach the pedals.

[chuckles] I told you, Eddie.

I'm doing just fine.

Now what are you doing, Eddie?

I'm making us go faster.

I'm rowing the air.

Oh. Okay, pal.

I'm trying to pump.

[chuckles] Eddie, you're all heart.

Yeah, but very short legs.

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down, my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[Tom] Eddie, what are you doing?

[Eddie] You taught me to chew

everything ten times.

Yeah, but that doesn't include your milk.

What's the matter with you? Aren't you hungry?

You usually eat like a fullback.

You got something in your mind?

Yeah!

What about?

She doesn't have anybody!

What do you mean she, she doesn't have anybody?

Shh! She'll hear us.

What do you mean, she doesn't have anybody?

I mean, she's alone!

No, Eddie. She's here with us. You and me.

But she doesn't have anybody!

She has you.

No. You have me and I have you.

[Tom] That's right. And we have Mrs. Livingston.

And she has us.

[Mrs. Livingston] Eddie...

Eat your egg, please?

[theme music]

You know what I saw on TV?

No, what?

Bees fly from one flower to another.

That's right, Eddie.

And they carry this thing called porren.

No, poolen.

Um, pollen.

That's right!

They carry it from one flower to another.

That's right, Eddie.

That's called pollination.

That's how the flowers are made.

If all flower does pollination...

That's right.

Why don't you pollinate Mrs. Livingston?

And she can have her own little boy.

[speaking in foreign language]

What?

[speaking in foreign language]

Oh, I can hear you, Mrs. Livingston.

I just can't understand you.

I think I should leave two man alone.

Don't you think it's a good idea?

Oh, well, Eddie, um, um...

Mrs. Livingston and I aren't flowers.

Oh, you're afraid of the bees.

No, not exactly, Eddie. Now, you see, um...

Well, it's different with people than it is with flowers.

How different?

Well, flowers can go around

pollinating their little heads off, but people...

People have to be married.

Good! Why don't you marry Mrs. Livingston?

Eddie, I've talked to you about this before.

Now, we love Mrs. Livingston

but not like we love someone that we're going to marry.

Oh.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

It's not fair.

She doesn't have anybody.

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

Well, you're right, Eddie. You're absolutely right.

Say, Eddie, I forgot to tell you.

I had a, a phone call from your teacher the other day.

She told me how well you're getting along

with all the other children in school.

And how your finger painting is improving.

And that you're very good at sandbox, too.

That pleases me.

♪ Or whether we're talkin' son to son ♪

I guess what I'm trying to say, Eddie

is I'm glad you're doing so well in school.

And don't worry about Mrs. Livingston.

She's gonna be alright.

It's not fair. She doesn't have anybody.

♪ He's still your best friend ♪

♪ Best friend ♪

♪ Best friend ♪♪

Mrs. Livingston, I don't know where Eddie gets his ideas.

How do kids know what they know today?

Sex at six!

Do you realize that I was ten years old

before I even asked the questions that...

...Eddie already has the answers to?

Pollination.

Whatever happened to the stork?

You know what it is, Mrs. Livingston?

Television.

The tube.

Do you realize that it is the biggest mass media

for education the world has ever known?

You ought to watch television, Mrs. Livingston.

It'd help you with your English.

I'll bet you, in Los Angeles County alone

there are more hours of watched television in one week than--

[toy whirring]

Now, you see, now, that, that-- That's what I mean.

This toy is so complicated, I have to keep it

in Eddie's room, 'cause I don't understand it.

[toy whirring]

You know what the problem is?

We're all exposed.

There's too much exposure.

Pardon me.

We have too many choices to make.

It's alright, Mr. Eddie's Father. I'm not alone.

♪ She's all alone ♪

♪ It isn't fair ♪

♪ When you're alone ♪

♪ Tu ru ru ru ♪

♪ She's all alone ♪

♪ Tu ru ru ru ♪

♪ Ra ra ra ♪

♪ Tu ru ru ♪

♪ Tu ru ru ru ♪

♪ Tu ru ru ru ♪♪

Hello, Eddie.

Mrs. Livingston, this is Frank.

- Hello, Frank. - Do you like him?

Yes, I'm so glad you brought

your friends home to play.

Do you like him?

Yes.

He's yours.

Mine?

Now you won't be alone anymore.

I'm giving him to you.

He's your son.

You cannot give him to me.

He has his own home.

His own family.

Yes, here.

Come on, Frank.

Let me show you where you're going to live.

♪♪

Hi, Mrs. Livingston.

Hi, Mr. Eddie's Father.

- Mr. Eddie's Father? - Mm-hmm.

Will you go to Eddie's room, please?

- Sure. Something wrong? - No, no, no.

Okay.

Yes.

Well, who's that playing with Eddie?

That's Frank.

Frank who?

My son.

Your what?

Eddie gave him to me.

He what?

I've been pollinated.

I think I'd better have a little talk with Eddie.

Please.

- Hi, dad. - Hi, sport.

This is Frank.

Hi, Frank.

[Eddie] He's for Mrs. Livingston.

I picked him out, all by myself.

Uh, Eddie...

What have you done?

A good job, didn't I?

- See his hair? - Hair?

It's like Mrs. Livingston's.

- And his eyes? - Oh, his eyes.

[Eddie Corbett] It's like Mrs. Livingston's.

Well, you just did a fine job, Eddie.

What's the matter? Don't you like him?

Well, yes, yeah, I, I like him.

I like him fine. Uh...

Uh, Eddie, I'm sure he's going to be very unhappy.

He's not complaining.

What about Frank's real parents?

I'm sure his mother and father

must be very worried.

He doesn't have a father and a mother.

Did you borrow him

from an orphanage?

No, I found him at school.

But he must have a father and a mother.

He has a mother and he has a father

but he doesn't have a mother and a father.

Uh, Frank.

Uh, what, uh, what's your name, Frank?

Frank.

Uh, yes, but what's your last name?

Frank.

Frank Frank?

No.

Oh, um...

Where do you live?

I'm five years old.

Oh, um, Mrs. Livingston

maybe you could, you could, you know...

Yes.

[speaking in foreign language]

What's she saying?

She wants to know your last name, Frank.

I'm five years old.

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

Uh, Eddie, you and Frank just go on.

You go on and you just keep playing. I...

Uh, I have to think about this.

Mr. Eddie's Father

what will you do now?

I don't know, Mrs. Livingston.

I went to work this morning and I had one child.

I came home, I have two.

One is mine.

In that case, what are you going to do about yours?

I would find out Frank's last name is.

- And where he lives. - Hmm.

So would I, if he wasn't playing "Cat got my tongue."

- Cat, cat-- - Got. Cat got my tongue.

Cat got my tongue.

- Yeah, well it's idiomatic. - Idioco, what?

W-well, it loses in the translation.

Oh, does not the school have such information?

Oh, good thinking, Mrs. Livingston.

Do you know that I think you just got us out of trouble?

And we could've been in big trouble.

I mean, bringing home astray children

without anyone knowing about it.

That could be considered kidnapping.

- Kidnapping? - Face it, Mrs. Livingston.

We have a kidnapping on our hands.

- Eddie is a kidnapper? - No.

No, actually I'm responsible, 'cause I'm the parent.

- You are the kidnapper? - Hmm.

Well, that's serious.

Hmm, well, yeah, could be.

Why doesn't the school answer their phone?

Suppose I was a parent with a problem.

You are the parent of a... p-problem.

Well, then, why don't they answer?

Maybe school is closed.

Oh, no, no, I don't think so.

You're right.

What are we going to do, now?

Do you realize that normal little boys

steal out of a cookie jar

my little boy steals other little boys?

Eddie means well.

Yeah, I know, but that's going to be very hard to explain

to the police when they're looking for a missing child.

Police?

Yes, Mrs. Livingston.

We're turning ourselves in.

♪♪

You called for the police.

Oh, yes. Would you come in, please?

- Mr. Corbett? - That's right.

- You reported a missing child? - Uh-huh.

- Boy or girl? - Boy.

- Name? - Frank.

Frank Corbett.

N-no. His last name's not Corbett.

It's not Corbett. What's his last name?

I don't know.

Last name un...

His last name is unknown?

But you've got to give me something to work with.

- A description, height, weight. - Oh, yeah, alright.

Well, now, his name, his name is Frank, and he's five years old.

Now that much we know for sure. This is ridiculous.

Why don't you just go in the bedroom and measure him?

- He's in the other room? - Yeah.

- Well, then you found him. - I never lost him.

Uh, Mr. Corbett.

Did you or did you not report a missing child?

Uh, yes. Yeah, well, officer, would you like to sit down?

Look, I, I, uh...

I reported that I had in my possession

what I believe to be a missing child.

Look, you're trying to tell me

that you went out and found a missing child?

Oh, well, um, my little boy, Eddie, he found him.

Eddie found the missing child.

And, and, and we don't know anything about it?

Do you mean to tell me that someone can just go out

and steal a child and no one reports it?

Steal a child?

Oh, uh, um...

Well, I was under the impression that, uh

that my little boy, Eddie, uh...

...coaxed Frank over to the house.

Eddie coaxed Frank.

Well, isn't there anything you can do?

Yeah, I could arrest Eddie.

No, I don't want that.

Okay.

Well, you look like a honest citizen

and I don't think we've got anything to worry about.

Parents will call up, we'll just tell them where the kid is

you know, because this is

better than your average police station, right?

Yeah, I'm, I'm really sorry about the phone call.

I, I guess I should've made things clearer.

Oh, no, I'm delighted to have made this type of call.

I usually get those husband and wife battles, you know.

This is my very first coaxing.

♪♪

Mrs. Livingston, I just don't understand it.

I mean, how someone can just go out and, and take a child

and no one reports it.

Mr. Eddie's Father, you should sit down.

You're very nervous.

I'm not nervous, Mrs. Livingston. I'm concerned.

- You're nervous. - I'm not nervous.

I wonder what Eddie meant when he said

"Frank said he had a mother and a father

but he didn't have a mother and a father."

There must be a clue there somewhere.

I am not nervous.

[speaking in foreign language]

Just like new.

Oh, thank you.

[doorbell rings]

- Corbett, Tom Corbett. - Oh, yes, come in.

- Komosori. - How are you?

- We have a son, Frank. - Right, right.

- And police station says-- - He's in the other room.

- Be at this... In fact there-- - Well, we had an officer...

He was here. He was right there. We were talking a moment ago.

This is my wife, Kendis.

Ah, how is Frank?

Oh, uh, well, he is in the other room playing with my boy, Eddie.

He's, he's perfectly alright.

Uh, oh, I would like you to introduce my housekeeper.

Mrs. Livingston, this is Duke and Kendis Komosori.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Komosori. - Komosori.

Why don't you come in and please make yourselves comfortable.

Say, listen, I'm sorry if we hung you up with the kid.

Oh, wait a minute, you didn't hang me up.

I mean, after all my boy kidnapped your boy.

Well, kids will be kids.

[Mrs. Livingston] I will go get Frank

and bring him for you.

- Excuse me. - Thank you, Mrs. Livingston.

Nice! Nice pad. Warm.

See?

Well, thank you.

- Frank! - Mommy, mommy.

Oh!

Oh, Frank, I was so worried.

Hi, mommy, do you know what we were doing?

We were inside paintin' a rocket.

Can I play some more?

Sure, Frank.

Oh, hi, dad.

Uh, you guys just don't blow up the building.

Come on, Frank.

Well, uh, may I play the host? Would you like a drink?

No, thank you.

Best thing anyone said to me all day.

- You've got it. - Beautiful.

Uh, let's see. I have scotch, bourbon, vodka, gin, rye.

I have some wine, I have some sake.

Uh...

What? Did I say something?

Sake, uh, kari sake,yes. But I...

Kendis will take some sake.

She makes that whole oriental thing.

Scotch and water is fine for me.

Fourth generation American.

I'll have scotch, too.

Oh, what would you like with it?

Uh, tonic, scotch and tonic.

I'm sorry, sweetheart but you don't have scotch with tonic.

Nice chick, but very... square.

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

- What did they say? - I don't know.

Whatever is fair, I guess.

Actually, that was something about tea.

Tea. Tea.

Is that old world?

Old world.

I call 'em Uncle Thomas Sake.

Come on inside.

Actually, Kendis has a bad angle.

Hmm.

She was raised in that Japanese atmosphere.

You know, with the robes and the fish and the whole scene.

Where's your old lady?

- Well, I don't have one, Duke. - Hmm.

How did you get custody of the kid?

It's almost impossible these days

unless your old lady's into some bad numbers.

Well, I'm not divorced, Duke. I'm a widower.

Oh, wow.

Idiot! Huh, I'm-I'm sorry.

Hey, it's no problem, Duke. You had no way of knowing.

But that is my problem.

I'm always coming on too strong like that.

I think that's what blew up my marriage.

Blew up your marriage?

Kendis and I are separated.

But we never seem to make anything anymore these days.

Could never get together. Like today, for example.

She thought I had Frank, I thought she had Frank.

Was taking him to her place and, uh...

That, by the way, was the reason

why we were so hung up this afternoon.

That is why... We would have been here earlier.

Listen, by the way

you have Eddie all the time.

I got Frank on weekends.

Why don't we do something together?

- With the kids. - Hmm.

- Would you like another one? - Uh, no, pass.

I haven't eaten yet.

Besides, uh, when I do

a half hour later, I'm hungry all over again.

Um, bad joke.

It must be comforting to have Eddie

under the circumstances.

Oh, it really is, Duke.

I tell you, we lean on each other quite a bit.

Really?

I, like with Frank, uh...

Even when I got him on the weekends

I, I really don't know what to say to him.

- I-I miss him. - Hmm.

Same with the chick, Kendis. Great chick.

Square, but I'd date her.

Miss her too... sometimes.

Well, you get over that after a while.

Sometimes.

Did you?

I still wake up at night and, uh, and reach for her.

You, you really must have loved her.

Oh-ho, not as much as I should have, Duke.

Duke, it's time I, I got Frank home.

- I will get Frank for you. - Thank you.

- Here, I'll take that. - Thanks.

Well, look, there's, uh, no, no point in me hanging around.

You've got the car, and...

Unless you want to take Frank home with you.

Well, I thought I could only have him on the weekends.

I know, but I thought maybe you would like to have him

for the night.

Well, sure, uh...

We ought to ask Frank.

Frank, your mama says it's cool for you

to come home with me tonight.

- Uh, it's up to you, of course. - It's okay, Frank.

Or you can come home with me. It's up to you.

Come on, Frank. It's getting late.

Make up your mind.

I wanna stay here with Eddie.

Oh, Kendis, you take him.

I just thought he would like to be with his father.

Well, obviously he doesn't.

Alright, don't get belligerent.

[Duke] I'm not getting belligerent.

[Kendis] Then stop hollering.

I'm not hollering!

Um... I-I'm sorry.

Yo-you're nice people.

You-you kidnapped our kid.

You got problems, we got problem...

Look, Tom, uh, I'll catch up to you this weekend.

Maybe in the park, on Sunday.

And you can explain to me then how to, how to talk to Frank.

Come on, Frank. Say goodnight to Eddie.

Goodnight, Eddie.

♪♪

Goodbye, Eddie.

Thanks, Eddie.

Gee...

I just think I figured something up.

Just because you belong to somebody

really don't mean you have him.

Maybe I got no mom, and dad has no wife

Mrs. Livingston has no friend

but we all have each other.

And that's what's important.

♪♪

Mrs. Livingston, I meant well.

I know, Eddie.

It's time for you to go to bed, Eddie.

Can I put myself to bed? I think I'm growing up.

Don't worry about Frank. I'll kidnap him again.

Goodnight, Eddie.

Excuse me.

Mr. Eddie's Father

I was not nervous tonight.

Mrs. Livingston, you were a thing of Oriental beauty

and magnificent calm.

[speaking in foreign language]

Wakatta.

[waves crashing]

Shura, shura.

Hey, cowboy, how does a Japanese sea horse say he's tired?

[blowing raspberry]

- How's Frank doing, Eddie? - Fine.

[Eddie] His mother and father moved back together again.

And he's learning Japanese.

- Frank? - No, his father.

[Eddie] Dad, could I've some ice cream, cotton candy and frosted sticks?

[Tom] How about just some popcorn?

Dad, I've had the best time with you.

Eddie, that's 'cause you're my best friend.

Me, too.

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout him ♪

♪ He's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra ra ♪♪