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1
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,879
No, no, no, of course you haven't
been an imposition.
2
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,159
Not at all.
3
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,400
You're our favourite house guest.
Mm.
4
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,559
It's been lovely having you to stay.
5
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:16,799
Hasn't it, Pete?
6
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,799
Yeah, it's been,
er... special.
7
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,279
Oh!
8
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,439
I've probably been
your worst nightmare.
9
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,639
No, no.
10
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:24,999
Can I help you with your suitcase?
11
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,919
All my crying...
12
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,439
Drinking all your wine...
13
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,239
Well, we hid all the good stuff.
14
00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:31,719
You are so funny!
15
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,799
I'm going to go now,
or I'll be in tears,
16
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,439
but I have really loved spending
time with you these past six weeks.
17
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,159
Nine.
Sorry?
18
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,559
Nine weeks.
19
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,159
I'm only sorry I'm going to miss
the kids coming home
20
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,599
for your big Christmas.
21
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,679
But, you know, I am ready for the
next big adventure of my life,
22
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,399
with Zach.
23
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,199
He's a very lucky man.
24
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,479
Yes, I hope he appreciates
exactly what he's getting.
25
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,880
Don't keep your Uber waiting.
26
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:03,999
You're my only friend.
27
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,760
Oh, goodbye, Jane.
28
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,560
You've made me whole again.
29
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,039
Bye-bye.
30
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,119
Bye, Jane.
Bye-bye.
31
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,919
Bye-bye.
Bye, Jane. Bye!
32
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,599
Bye.
Bye-bye-bye. Bye.
33
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,319
Bye.
Yes!
34
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,239
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
35
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,079
Oh, thanks for putting up with her.
36
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,719
I don't know why I feel
so responsible for her.
37
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,159
Well, God help Zach.
38
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:40,559
She showed me his Insta and
he actually seems, you know, sane.
39
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,839
Apart from dating Jane.
40
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,599
We can get out the wine we hid now.
41
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,959
Yeah! Oh, let me do that.
42
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,719
No, no, I'm fine.
43
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,039
OK, great.
44
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,919
I can crack on with
getting everything ready.
45
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,999
Well, it looks quite ready, already.
46
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,279
I just want our Christmas
to be perfect, you know,
47
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,519
what with everything.
48
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,599
And I have to be organised
because this place
49
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,359
is so much smaller than
the last place, and, well,
50
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,239
they're so much bigger.
51
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,759
Right.
MOBILE PINGS
52
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,319
Oh.
53
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,239
Ah, Ben.
54
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,119
It's funny, isn't it,
the amount of times that we get
55
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,839
messages from them when we just
happen to be talking about them?
56
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,199
Maybe we're just always
talking about them.
57
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,999
Oh, no, his train's been delayed.
58
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,319
No...
59
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,279
Due to Sean on the line
near Hemel Hempstead.
60
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,999
Sean?
That's what it says here.
61
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,159
Sean who?
62
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,519
Oh, no, it was autocorrect.
63
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,479
It's a swan on the line.
64
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,399
A swan? Jeez,
who's going to miss a swan?
65
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,839
They're just geese with longer necks
and better PR.
66
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,439
They should run it over.
67
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,679
You're not going to stop
a train for a duck.
68
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:44,919
All right?
69
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:47,319
Maybe we shouldn't tell
the kids today, you know...
70
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,839
Pete, we've put it off
for a few weeks already.
71
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,279
Yeah.
72
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,639
OK.
73
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,199
DOORBELL RINGS
74
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,320
Surely Jake and Rani
can't be on time.
75
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,119
No, this is for next door.
76
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,170
Oh...
77
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,040
Again.
78
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,319
We've got to tell them
to stop putting us down
79
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,439
as their designated safe place.
MOBILE PINGS
80
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,040
Oh, Ben again.
81
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,759
Oh, they're waiting
for someone who's completed
82
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,520
a swan conflict management course.
83
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,650
Pete?
84
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,159
Sorry.
85
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,799
I'm just a bit worried about
how the kids will take the news.
86
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,919
I think that they'll be less worried
if we don't look worried.
87
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:41,079
I think they'll take their signal
from us, if we're, you know...
88
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,559
..unruffled.
89
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,119
Yeah, you're right. Yeah.
90
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,239
PHONE BEEPS
91
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,240
Jake? Karen?
92
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,199
No.
93
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,799
Next door.
94
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,719
The parcel people.
95
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,159
They've got builders
coming in today.
96
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,359
There may be
"a little bit of noise".
97
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,639
Oh, the last time
they had builders in they texted
98
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,679
"there might be a little
bit of dust".
99
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,799
The lawn turned red.
100
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,239
It was like Dune.
101
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,239
And it got in the house.
102
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,599
I had pink sputum.
I know.
103
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,039
I think I've still got
the photos of it you sent me.
104
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,319
DOORBELL RINGS
105
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,520
That better not be another package.
106
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,039
Jake!
Hey, Jakey.
107
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,919
Hey, Mum. Hey, Dad.
108
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,439
Happy Christmas.
109
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:33,079
Are, um, Rani and
little Zara coming along later?
110
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,359
Um...
111
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,440
Yes, maybe.
112
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,199
Oh, wow, you've, er...
113
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,759
You've got lots of, um...
114
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,959
Decorations?
Yeah, that's right.
115
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,719
Yeah, sorry, I'm just,
um, feeling a bit, um...
116
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,280
Tired?
Yes.
117
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,600
Ah!
118
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,399
You look exhausted.
119
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,079
Is, er...?
120
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,239
Is work OK?
121
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:07,279
You know, instead of being an IT
consultant, I wish I'd become a...
122
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,479
A tree surgeon, or an airline pilot.
123
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,599
Basically any job where
I can't work from home.
124
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,039
Isn't it good working from home?
125
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,599
Not with a three-year-old there.
126
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,839
I thought it was supposed
to get easier.
127
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:22,679
I mean, don't get me wrong,
Zara is a great kid, you know,
128
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,519
really bright, but,
oh, she is relentless.
129
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,679
She spends every second of every day
imagining she's an animal.
130
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,799
Is that normal?
131
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,039
Ben did that.
132
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,639
So it's not normal?
Oh, it's fine.
133
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,639
For the last ten days,
she's been a beaver.
134
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,959
She's flooded the bathroom twice,
135
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,639
and our furniture
all has teeth marks on it.
136
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,439
Look, some kids at that age just
have very intense imaginations.
137
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,119
For several weeks, Ben was a hippo.
138
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,919
A bull hippo.
139
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,679
We got summoned to school because
he charged a dinner lady
140
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,959
who'd intruded on his territory.
141
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,319
Would you like a lie down?
142
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,719
Oh, God, yes.
143
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,519
Thank you.
144
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:05,039
OK, well, we've given you
the larger of the spare rooms,
145
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,999
so there's space
for Rani and Zara...
146
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,639
..if that's needed...
147
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,599
..when they arrive.
148
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,239
If they arrive.
Thank you.
149
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,999
I'll, um...
150
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,479
promise I'll come down more,
you know, Christmassy.
151
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,799
DRILLING NOISES
152
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,279
Next door's builders.
153
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,759
You'll never sleep through that lot.
154
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,040
Oh, no, I will.
155
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,760
God, he looks shattered.
156
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,159
Mm.
157
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,959
Why has he not come
with Rani and Zara?
158
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,919
Maybe they've quarrelled.
159
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,599
I hope Jake hasn't done
something stupid.
160
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,479
I mean, it might be Rani.
161
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,079
Oh, come on, it'll be him.
162
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,879
What if they've split up?
163
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,599
That'll ruin Christmas.
164
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,119
Let's not catastrophise.
165
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,040
Let's just carry on as planned.
166
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,119
Although, given the state he's in,
I do wonder
167
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,759
if we should put off telling him
about the...
168
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,199
DRILLING NOISES
169
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,039
I mean the last thing Jake
wants to hear now is that...
170
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,920
HE SHOUTS: I've got cancer.
171
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,560
Oh, Pete.
172
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,040
Sorry, I forgot your keys.
173
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,919
Pete, that is so unfair.
174
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,399
Jake's upstairs, so...
175
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,079
You absolutely don't deserve it.
176
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,759
Well, I think it's cells
randomly mutating
177
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,880
rather than a moral judgment.
178
00:07:24,881 --> 00:07:28,639
But anyway, the good news
is that they caught it early
179
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,079
and the prognosis is good.
180
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,519
My heart goes out to you,
as a cancer survivor myself.
181
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,079
I didn't know you had...
Yeah.
182
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,279
I had this mole that was
a really weird colour,
183
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,199
but thank God it turned out OK.
184
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,679
You must stay mentally positive.
185
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,719
Really, it works.
186
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,279
This yoga pal of mine, he used to
go down to this lake every morning
187
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,680
and write "cancer" on a stone
and throw it into the water.
188
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,919
Well, I'll consider that carefully.
189
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,319
Unfortunately, one morning he hit
a woman in a kayak, and she claimed
190
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,719
she had memory loss, and sued him
for a ridiculous amount of money.
191
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,159
Did he have to pay?
192
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,799
No, he died of the cancer
before it came to court.
193
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,479
Phew!
194
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:14,399
Sorry, this is actually
really upsetting me.
195
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,799
I'm going to have to leave
or I'll be in floods.
196
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,239
Oh, dear.
197
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,799
Um...
198
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,319
Well...
199
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:22,440
Bye, Jane.
200
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,919
What the hell was that?
201
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,679
That was like Holly Willoughby
crossed with the Provisional IRA.
202
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,439
DRILLING NOISES
203
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,279
Oh, there we go.
204
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,240
Another "little bit of noise".
205
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:46,119
Ah, hi, darling.
Hi.
206
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,079
A delivery guy handed me this
and then just ran off.
207
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,159
It's for next door.
208
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,639
Why didn't the bloody
builders take it?
209
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,319
Well, they obviously
didn't hear the bell.
210
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,199
It's just a couple of boxes.
211
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,599
Well, I just, I don't want
the hall clogged up with parcels.
212
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,679
I want it to look Christmassy
in every direction,
213
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:08,239
through 360 degrees.
214
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,319
Sorry.
215
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,079
Sorry, go on through, sweetheart.
216
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,839
I passed Jane getting into a taxi.
217
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,279
She's so weird.
218
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,079
She called out to "be strong".
219
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,399
Did she?
220
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,319
Why did you let her stay for,
what was it, eight...
221
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,959
Nine weeks.
Why?
222
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,439
It would have been unkind
if we'd just abandoned her, and...
223
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,239
You let yourself get pushed around.
224
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,159
It's about boundaries.
225
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,479
When I was growing up, I wish
you'd set more boundaries for me.
226
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,399
Having boundaries for you
is a bit like having
227
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,399
boundaries for Ben Stokes.
228
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,119
DRILLING
229
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,679
So, how's things going?
230
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,759
Fine. How are you?
231
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,119
Oh, yeah, you know, fine.
232
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,599
I mean, couldn't be better.
233
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,239
I mean, you know, basically.
234
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,199
Absolutely, um...
235
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,639
How's work? Going well?
Not really.
236
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,759
I've decided to quit.
237
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,119
Oh, OK.
238
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,279
There's a problem with the team.
239
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,639
What kind of problem?
240
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,399
They're useless.
241
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,199
Your colleagues are useless?
Yeah.
242
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,239
No strategy, no vision.
243
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,999
I mean, they've got
the wrong priorities.
244
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,039
So, very like the colleagues
at your previous job.
245
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,239
Yeah.
246
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,399
And the one before that.
Yeah.
247
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,959
Do you think that maybe,
possibly...?
248
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,399
How's Lucy?
We split up.
249
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,119
Different priorities.
250
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,919
Oh, right.
251
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,639
Oh, I liked Lucy. So...
252
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,519
Why did Jane say, "be strong"?
253
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:28,919
Oh, that's just Jane.
254
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,199
You know what Jane's like.
255
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,839
Just Jane being...
What else is new?
256
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,159
Um...
257
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,999
I'm thinking of changing my name,
258
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,919
because Karen is the archetypal
name for an entitled,
259
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,439
middle-aged woman.
260
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,879
Oh, I'm sorry, we meant to teleport
into the future to check on that
261
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,359
when we christened you.
262
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,799
So what name are you thinking of?
263
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,119
Morticia is nice.
264
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,879
PHONE PINGS
265
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,519
Ben.
266
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,439
He's on a bus replacement
replacement service.
267
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,239
Did he type it twice?
268
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,599
First bus broke down.
269
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,039
Of course, technically,
a bus replacement service
270
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,999
sounds like it's replacing
a bus that's broken down.
271
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,479
I mean, really, it should be
a train replacement bus.
272
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,479
I've missed this.
273
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,759
Have you considered Cruella?
274
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,319
Suella?
275
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,039
I am holding a bread knife.
276
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,920
Lucretia? Chlamydia?
277
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,879
Advent calendars!
278
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,519
Yeah, we got one for each of you.
279
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,519
Obviously we've opened all of them
and eaten most of the chocolate.
280
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,959
PHONE BUZZES
281
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,319
Hang on, hang on, hang on...
282
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,079
PHONE PINGS
283
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,319
Oh, no.
284
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,279
Ben says that they've been
kicked off the bus replacement
285
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,159
replacement service.
286
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,560
The driver was savaged
by his emotional support animal.
287
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,240
He's speaking to Rani.
288
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,799
Did he just say
"why must we separate"?
289
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,359
No, I think it was
"try not to get in a state".
290
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,959
I thought it was
"buy some Sellotape".
291
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,960
DOORBELL RINGS
292
00:11:54,971 --> 00:11:58,519
Why would he say
"buy some Sellotape"?
293
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,200
Might have presents to wrap.
294
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,799
Take the photo then.
295
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,999
He's training.
296
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,879
If this is for next door,
I don't want it.
297
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:08,999
Not just her.
298
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,919
You need box in the photo too.
299
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,559
I'm not accepting this.
300
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,159
I'm not... But I...
301
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,359
Yeah, that's better.
302
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,559
I'm not accepting this!
303
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,879
Have a nice day!
Have a nice day!
304
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,239
Oh, for f...!
305
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,799
Right, I'm just going to get
all these parcels
306
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,039
and I'm going to put them
on their doorstep.
307
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,599
No, no, it'll get stolen, just
like during lockdown when I ordered
308
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,679
that ukulele, you know,
when I decided
309
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,199
I was going to learn to play.
310
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,759
Oh, yeah.
311
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,879
Yeah, that was really unlucky.
312
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,719
The police never rang me back,
you know.
313
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,599
HE SIGHS DEEPLY
314
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,680
All right?
315
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,599
Yeah.
316
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,679
Any news on when Rani
and Zara may come?
317
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,239
Or not.
318
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,799
No pressure, but we'd...
319
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,759
We'd love to see them.
320
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,439
Rani would love to see you, too.
321
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,039
Me less so.
322
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,399
I'm sorry.
323
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,919
We seem to fight all the time.
324
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,840
Well, of course you do.
325
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,079
You're both suffering
from sleep deprivation.
326
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,399
For this brief period of time,
you're just like two hostages
327
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,959
sharing a cell, being tortured
by a three-year-old sociopath.
328
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,679
Is this supposed to be making me
feel better?
329
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:19,879
I'm just saying that,
330
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,639
under those circumstances,
you're bound to fight.
331
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,519
You and Mum didn't fight.
332
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,519
SHE LAUGHS
333
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,199
You did fight?
334
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,879
When you were tiny
and you wouldn't sleep? Yes.
335
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,159
Your mum once locked me out
336
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,599
for going on a bender after
the footie with some mates.
337
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,919
No, I locked you out because I'd
discovered you'd been pretending
338
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,439
to do overtime so you could grab
a crafty 40 winks in the staffroom.
339
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,759
Are you sure?
Because I could swear...
340
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,039
Oh, was that the row where I
chucked your phone down the toilet?
341
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,639
Yeah.
342
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,159
Which was the one where
you threw the mallet?
343
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,879
We said we'd never
speak of that again.
344
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,399
Oh, yeah...
345
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,479
So, you and Rani
have been fighting a lot?
346
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,479
Yeah, but nothing involving mallets.
347
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,679
I hope you haven't done
anything stupid.
348
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,479
Oh, what, like get arrested?
349
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,839
This again?
That's not fair, Jake.
350
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,879
The police didn't arrest
Dame Emma Thompson
351
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,399
at that Just Stop Oil protest.
352
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,199
Well, she didn't call a chief
inspector a Primark Nazi.
353
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,519
Yeah, well, at least I never...
354
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,719
Just stop! Stop this now.
355
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,720
I am not having you ruin
Christmas by bickering.
356
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,680
Sorry.
357
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,479
Sorry.
358
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,439
I know, I'm ruffled.
359
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,519
That was quite ruffled.
360
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,239
Everything OK?
Yeah.
361
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,319
No, it's fine.
362
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,439
Something's wrong, isn't it?
No, no.
363
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,359
Well, there is something your dad
wants to talk to you about.
364
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,639
Well, when Ben gets here.
365
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,759
Yeah.
What's it about?
366
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,199
Just...
367
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,919
Are you going to stop
paying for our mobile phones?
368
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,159
Do we still pay for
your mobile phones?
369
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,359
No.
370
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,919
I think you should tell us.
371
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,759
Yeah, if you want to tell us
together, we can FaceTime Ben.
372
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,599
There is nothing to worry...
373
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,239
DOORBELL RINGS
374
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:01,639
Excuse me.
375
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,279
I'd better get the door,
because it could be someone, um...
376
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,999
..at the door.
377
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,800
Oh, I bet that's another delivery.
378
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,599
Jane?
379
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,839
Sorry.
380
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,359
Do come in.
381
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,999
Sorry, but Zach's in hospital.
382
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,959
His e-scooter was in a head-on
collision with a Segway.
383
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,279
That's terrible.
That's awful.
384
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:24,879
You'd probably want to be with him.
385
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,159
I did want to be with him,
386
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,239
but then his wife turned up
at the hospital.
387
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,240
Oh, you didn't know he had a...
388
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,039
That's probably a no.
389
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,559
And then his other wife turned up
390
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,400
and they had this terrible
screaming match.
391
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,359
Right, so Zach's a bigamist.
392
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,239
That's a surprise.
393
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,399
He's got seven children.
394
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,919
So there's probably not much
chance of you two making up
395
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,479
and staying at his place.
396
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,159
Hi, KK.
397
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,439
Hi, Jakey.
398
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,959
I am so, so sorry to impose,
399
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,439
especially at a time like this,
400
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,999
but I just can't think straight.
401
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,999
Why does this always happen?
402
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,759
Why do I always pick men who...
403
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,399
An armed robber?
404
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,519
Obsessed with Victorian pornography?
405
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,399
Wanted for genocide by the
International Court of Human Rights?
406
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,719
Be honest.
407
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:21,959
Is it me?
408
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,439
No.
409
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,159
It's just bad luck, Jane.
410
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,919
Yeah, that's what I thought.
411
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,480
Now, I need to lie down.
412
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,039
Yeah, just ignore me, and, please,
413
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:37,000
please don't even think of bringing
me a cup of tea with two sugars.
414
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,719
What did she mean,
"especially at a time like this"?
415
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,679
We'll tell you
when all three of you are here.
416
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,799
No, I think you should
definitely tell us now.
417
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,999
I'll FaceTime Ben.
Wi-Fi is better in there.
418
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,919
No, why don't,
why don't we just...?
419
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,800
Might be better.
420
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,919
Oh, hi.
421
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,159
They've put us all
in cabs to the bus station,
422
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,159
so I should be with you by midnight.
423
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,599
Mum and Dad have something
they need to tell us.
424
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,839
Are they going to stop paying
for our mobile phones?
425
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,119
No. Well, yes.
426
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,839
Pete? OK.
427
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,880
Er, so...
428
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,559
The good news is that
they've caught it early,
429
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,560
and I'm very likely to be fine.
430
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:23,280
But I've been diagnosed
with prostate cancer.
431
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,959
Right.
432
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,639
Sorry, Dad.
433
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,719
Yeah, sorry.
I missed that.
434
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,079
You broke up after "so...".
435
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,079
Dad's been diagnosed with
prostate cancer.
436
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,959
But they caught it early.
437
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,439
BEN: No, not getting anything now.
438
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,679
Oh, cheers. Oh...
439
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,480
I can still see you, so give me
a thumbs up if you can hear me.
440
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,439
Right. You would not believe
the day I've been having.
441
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,440
Maybe we should just abandon this.
Oh, I heard that.
442
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,999
Ben, I've been diagnosed...
443
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,039
DRILLING
444
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,079
..with prostate cancer.
445
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,519
No. Noise on your end.
446
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:13,359
It's not serious, but I have been
diagnosed with prostate cancer.
447
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,119
That's good. Good?
448
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,279
Well, if it's not serious,
it can wait till I get there.
449
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:21,639
He just heard the first bit!
This is, er, Jelena and Galena.
450
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,479
Hey! Hey. From Estonia.
They put us in a cab together.
451
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,440
Wave to my family, guys!
452
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,559
I'll call him later, just him.
453
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,479
BEN: Big fight in the buffet car.
454
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,320
So, er... So, Dad...
455
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,319
I'm having a prostatectomy
in mid-January.
456
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,319
You can live without a prostate.
Let's hope so.
457
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,599
Sorry, Dad, that was stupid.
No, don't worry, Jake.
458
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,919
It's a lot to take in.
459
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,559
They're almost certain that it
hasn't got beyond the prostate,
460
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,319
so that is really good.
461
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,839
PHONE BUZZING
462
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,679
Yeah, hi, Rani.
463
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,559
Hey, look, I'm going to have
to call you back, all right?
464
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,279
No, no, I'm not. I'm...
465
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,719
Rani, I'm really sorry, he really
does have to call you back.
466
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,479
Yeah.
467
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,839
Are you in pain?
468
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,199
No, no. No, not at all.
469
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,359
I, erm, I'm entirely fine.
470
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,799
Apart from, well, you know, er ...
471
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:23,399
Little bit of bumpiness
in the weeing department.
472
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:27,039
Um, this operation...
473
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,479
How long...? Look, I will tell you
anything you need to know,
474
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:33,319
but, first, I'm going to try Ben
again, just to get it out the way.
475
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,119
OK. Yeah. Sure thing, Dad.
476
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,279
Er, can we get you anything?
477
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,880
No, I'm fine.
478
00:19:38,881 --> 00:19:42,439
WHISPERING: Karen can't really
kick off at the moment,
479
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,079
so it might be a good time to tell
her that she's sharing a bedroom
480
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,480
with Jane.
481
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,600
DULL THUDDING
482
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,719
DISTANT SIREN
483
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,559
It's 2:00am.
484
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,199
OK, I know I've gone a bit
Santazilla,
485
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,399
but once Christmas is over,
it can all go back to being a tip.
486
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,999
Ben's not answering.
487
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,760
Have you still got that app
that tracks his phone? Um...
488
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,759
Oh! Yeah. He's just down the road,
by Brentford Station.
489
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,199
Oh, great.
490
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,519
No, he's in Luton. Eh?
491
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:21,080
Oh, no, he's in the middle
of a lake...in Belgium.
492
00:20:21,081 --> 00:20:25,159
So he was definitely all right
when you spoke to him earlier?
493
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,719
Yeah, he was lovely.
494
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,000
Calm and sensible.
495
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,959
Galena and Jelena
were in pieces, though.
496
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,799
Might take a while before
it hits them fully.
497
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,799
You know what?
498
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,479
We'll know they're OK
when they start taking the piss.
499
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,319
Will they do that?
500
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,639
Oh, yeah.
501
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,759
PHONE ALERT
502
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,199
Oh, Ben's heading
south to the Pyrenees.
503
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,679
I wish he wasn't going on
this Andes gap-year trip thing.
504
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,919
Well, he missed it the first time
cos of Covid.
505
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,999
I know, but it's such a worry,
him climbing mountains.
506
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,359
Well, it's hard to damage mountains.
507
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,999
And anyway, the mates he's going
with seem very sensible.
508
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,600
They're going mountain climbing
with Ben!
509
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,799
We've got to let go,
with all of them.
510
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,559
We've got to let them leap out
of that plane
511
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:19,759
into that vortex of heartbreak
and uncertainty...
512
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,999
..and dealing with Virgin Media.
513
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,080
Hiya! Ah!
514
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,599
This was on the step.
Oh, for f...
515
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,399
Hey, good trip?
516
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,199
Yeah.
517
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,639
They put us in another taxi
with a 93-year-old Zambian nun.
518
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,079
Well, I hope you got her number.
519
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,799
Why do you always do this?
520
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,319
Ben, put him down! Oh, God.
521
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,679
Sorry, I didn't...
I didn't even think.
522
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,999
Have I hurt you?
No. It's just annoying.
523
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,919
Oh, that's all right, then.
524
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,719
I, er...
525
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,440
I really am sorry about your news,
Dad.
526
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,039
I'm sorry.
Cancer's not very Christmassy.
527
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,679
Yeah, well, neither is Die Hard,
but that's still on every year.
528
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,319
What's up, little bro?
529
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,119
You good, man?
530
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,079
Hey, all present and correct!
531
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,679
With all your busy lives,
there was a point there
532
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,279
I never thought I'd manage to get us
all together for Christmas lunch.
533
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,879
But you have.
534
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,399
On November the 23rd.
535
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,359
It's not that early.
The John Lewis ads have started.
536
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,800
Yeah, but they started in August!
537
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,919
Oh, thought I could smell eggs.
538
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,159
Yeah. No, sorry.
539
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,439
I woke up really hungry so just
thought I'd make myself some...
540
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,959
No problem.
541
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,479
There are plenty more eggs in the...
542
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,959
..supermarket.
543
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,479
So we're really doing the full
Christmas in November thing
544
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,719
today, are we?
Well, Jake will be in Wales,
545
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,279
celebrating Christmas
with Rani's parents, in theory.
546
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,039
And Karen will be...
547
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,239
Is Dad putting on an act?
548
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,119
Eh? He's sort of making jokes
nonstop,
549
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,479
and he does that when he's worried.
Oh... Morning! Hey, Ben.
550
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,319
How do you keep an idiot in
suspense?
551
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,839
I don't know.
I'll tell you tomorrow!
552
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,719
Er, what is the difference...?
What do you want for breakfast?
553
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,959
Er, well, I'll just scramble myself
some eggs.
554
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,200
No, I don't think you will.
555
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,799
Oh, I see. Well, I'll just,
um, grab some cereal.
556
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,439
Good morning, Karen!
557
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,239
Sleep well?
558
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,159
I bet you and Jane were up chatting
late into the night,
559
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,159
enjoying lots of girl talk.
560
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,519
Have you got some kind of
death wish?
561
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,319
Morning, love.
562
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,239
OK, I've got cancer,
so I get first crack at the shower.
563
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,639
Did you manage to get some sleep?
564
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,679
I'm not sure.
565
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,119
I was either awake all night,
or dreaming I was awake all night.
566
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,839
BELL TINGS
Ah, right.
567
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:52,199
8:55, lunch preparation - phase one.
568
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,479
I'm not doing anything
too ambitious.
569
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:58,319
I'm just going to do a Wellington,
which is four-fifths turkey
570
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:02,039
and one-fifth mushroom and butternut
squash for our vegetarian.
571
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,759
Mum, you're spilling oil.
Oh. Let us help.
572
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,439
No, no, no, you stay there.
I've got everything under control!
573
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,679
Ow! Oh!
574
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,799
I'm fine.
575
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,720
I'm fine. I just need to check on
something out here.
576
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,879
God, that was weird. Yeah.
577
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,439
Mum's obsessing over this whole
perfect Christmas thing
578
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,719
so she doesn't have to mentally
process Dad's diagnosis.
579
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,079
So you're still producing those
psychology podcasts then?
580
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,639
Well, actually...
581
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,999
Look, clearly the pair of them
are trying not to worry us,
582
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,679
so it's up to us
to not come across as worried.
583
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,119
OK? Let's just chill, yeah?
584
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:38,439
Yeah. Yeah, right.
585
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,359
Jane's in the shower,
so I'll try again in a few...
586
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,879
..days. So, Dad, this op...
587
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,999
Yeah, it's very routine.
They do it all the time.
588
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,559
I was just wondering
if they've talked you through
589
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,439
all the treatment options.
590
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,239
Why do you ask?
Well, I googled prostate cancer.
591
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,759
What? What did you do that for?
Rookie error. Why?
592
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,319
I was looking for information,
593
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,919
cos, you know,
information helps you make...
594
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,799
Look, the consultant was very clear.
595
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,439
He took us through all the choices.
596
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,919
OK, that's good. What's his name?
597
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,119
Karen, you are not googling
my consultant.
598
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:10,639
Yeah, I'm just...
Look, it's fine.
599
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,559
We have complete confidence
in Mr Henderson.
600
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,239
Henderson...
"Don't tell him, Pike!"
601
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,879
I mean,
have you considered the option of...
602
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,799
Karen, I refer you
to our previous conversation.
603
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,759
All I'm asking is...
604
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,919
Look, I understand everyone's
concern,
605
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,559
but sometimes you
just have to put your trust
606
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,439
in the competence of strangers.
607
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,839
So, you know, try not to go
looking for things to worry about.
608
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,799
There is no awful disaster
coming round the corner.
609
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,400
Morning!
610
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,200
Sorry, Dad, you were saying?
611
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,239
That's all right. I mean, why not?
We're not religious.
612
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,319
Yeah, why not?
613
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,839
I don't know,
just doesn't seem right to have
614
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,839
Harry Kane at the top
of a Christmas tree.
615
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,119
No, no, no. By all means,
one more parcel.
616
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,279
I'll put it with the other 247.
617
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,759
That sounds like trouble.
618
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,039
Have a good day!
619
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,919
Another bloody parcel!
620
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,839
Can you believe it? Oops!
SMASHING
621
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,360
How careless of me!
622
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,719
Sue, it's marked as fragile.
623
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,560
And it's addressed to us.
624
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:20,960
You OK?
625
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,599
Are next door back?
626
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,159
Oh, yeah,
they've been back for a while.
627
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,679
Oh, I have texted stupid Howard
so many times to come
628
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,639
and collect these.
629
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,879
Oh, right.
630
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,959
Mum will go nuts when... Sh!
631
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,759
'Ha-llo?' Hi, Howard.
632
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,879
It's Pete from next door.
633
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,519
'Hey, Pete from next door!
How are things, bro?'
634
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,759
Er, things are fine, thanks...
635
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,639
..bro.
636
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,959
Listen, um,
a lot of your parcels have...
637
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,479
'No problem. Got your message.'
638
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,359
Messages.
639
00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:01,359
Er, anyway, we've got guests
and space is a bit limited, so...
640
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:04,200
'I'm on it. No problem.'
641
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,559
Hmm.
642
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,119
Weird how often people
who say "no problem"
643
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:14,279
turn out to be a problem.
644
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,759
Do you want me to stick all those
parcels out the back,
645
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,359
so they're out of your way?
646
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:19,720
Yes, good idea.
647
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,679
Oh, Ben.
648
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,119
I forgot to say,
there's a documentary on later.
649
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,239
Michael Portillo touring the Andes.
650
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,999
We should watch it.
651
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,119
He might get attacked by a puma.
What?
652
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:34,719
It's about the Andes,
where you're going.
653
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,680
Oh, right. Um...
654
00:27:36,681 --> 00:27:40,479
..actually, I've decided I'm not
going to do that trip.
655
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,999
Whoa, whoa, wait.
You can't do that!
656
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,359
But it's a fantastic opportunity,
Ben.
657
00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:48,039
Well, there's always next time.
The Andes aren't going anywhere.
658
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,399
I've emailed my boss to...
But you've booked your ticket.
659
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,839
You've... I don't want to be
on the other side of the world.
660
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,199
I want to be around.
For the op, you know?
661
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,359
Ben...
662
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:02,719
This op is absolutely bog-standard.
663
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,839
They do it all the time.
664
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,799
So, you know, life goes on.
665
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,439
Go climb your mountains. Yeah.
666
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,560
Just maybe not the very high,
steep ones.
667
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,119
No, the trip can wait.
668
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,720
I'll go shift those parcels.
669
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:28,519
Er... Sorry, um, I, er,
I finally got a message from Rani.
670
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,959
Seems she and Zara
won't be joining us.
671
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:37,480
It's a boring story, but, um,
yeah, sorry to muck you about.
672
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,399
Brilliant! Bloody brilliant.
673
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,799
This whole weekend is falling apart.
674
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,919
Sorry. Sorry.
675
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,119
I should be thinking about
poor Jake.
676
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,520
Well, and you.
677
00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:55,959
Why don't you have a lie down?
I don't need a lie down.
678
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,239
Put your feet up, you know. Relax.
I'm relaxed.
679
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,279
I'm very relaxed.
680
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:04,279
Why wouldn't I be relaxed?
Hello, Jane.
681
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,119
How's things?
682
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,639
Well, the good news is that someone
has recommended a therapist
683
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,439
who specialises
in relaxation techniques
684
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,759
for exactly this kind of situation.
685
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,999
I don't need any techniques.
686
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,759
I meant my situation.
687
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,199
Right.
688
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,639
You see, I have serious abandonment
issues.
689
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,079
Because I've experienced
a lot of abandonment.
690
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,359
Yes, of course.
691
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,999
Sorry, I didn't mean "yes, of
course"...
692
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,999
Something smells good.
693
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,959
It's, um...
694
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:37,600
..an early family Christmas lunch.
695
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,599
You're welcome to join us.
696
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,639
Well, if you're sure.
697
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,040
Maybe I will go for that lie down.
698
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,399
Stage 14A.
699
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:02,040
Yorkshire puddings.
They're not easy.
700
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,319
They're fine.
701
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:05,959
Last time we had them,
the oven caught fire.
702
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,119
But that was the old oven.
We've got a new oven now.
703
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,999
Well, we had to. Very funny.
704
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,959
You mark my words,
this meal is going to be a triumph.
705
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,239
Not with Jane here, it isn't!
706
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,959
What do you expect me to do?
She's my friend.
707
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,359
Well, a real friend is straight
with a friend and tells them
708
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,879
when they're being an arsehole.
709
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,559
Do you do that? Yes.
710
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,719
Mind you, she does get through
a lot of friends.
711
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,959
Mum, are you sure you don't want...?
Absolutely not.
712
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,759
I mean,
I'm happy to have a word with Jane.
713
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,399
No. No.
714
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,439
We're not turfing her out
at Christmas.
715
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,719
Just think, if King Herod
had done his job properly,
716
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,039
we wouldn't have to go
through all this.
717
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,479
DOORBELL RINGS
718
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,559
That better be sodding Howard
come to collect his parcels.
719
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,879
If it isn't,
I'm going to take that big one
720
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,839
and I'm going to stick it...
721
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,239
Ahhh! Oh! Hello, Sue.
722
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,359
Rani! Jake said you weren't coming.
723
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,639
Hello, Grandma. Hello.
724
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,479
Grrr!
725
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,359
Oh! Is Mrs Beaver in a grumpy mood?
726
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,239
She's not a beaver any more.
727
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,759
OK, so... She's a hyena. Oh.
728
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,479
Hyenas hunt at night. Oh.
729
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,319
SHE SNARLS
730
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,439
You went to Clover's birthday party,
didn't you?
731
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,959
And Clover's mummy put on a DVD
all about hyenas.
732
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:21,199
And when we next see Clover's mummy,
we're going to gut her like a fish.
733
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,879
SHE SNARLS
Come in.
734
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,760
Come on, then.
735
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,919
What can I hear? Oh, hello!
736
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,039
Who's this? It's a beaver, isn't it?
737
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,719
No, it's a hyena.
738
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,919
Oh, that's a coincidence,
because so am I.
739
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,959
Hyena!
740
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,599
Yes, a talking hyena.
We're very rare.
741
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,759
BOTH SNARL
742
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,639
I tell you what, I've got
a wildebeest out back.
743
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,439
Do you want to help me
rip it to pieces with our teeth?
744
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,799
Yeah, come on.
Hyena crush the bones.
745
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,039
So sorry to mess you about, Sue.
746
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:58,719
Jake and I are having some...
No, no explanations needed.
747
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,039
It's fine.
748
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,679
Um...
749
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,959
I heard about Pete's news.
750
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,159
I'm sorry, that's really rubbish.
751
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,559
Oh, well, stuff happens.
752
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,159
Anyway,
it's perfect now you're here.
753
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:15,599
Where's Jake? Having a lie down.
Oh, the jammy bastard.
754
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,359
Well, why don't you go
and get some shuteye?
755
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,679
Really? Are you sure?
756
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,319
Yeah, we'll call you
when the food's ready.
757
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,400
Oh!
758
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:27,800
I know.
759
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,519
I remember.
760
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,840
SNARLING
761
00:32:34,841 --> 00:32:39,279
We've been hyenas for quite
a long time now, haven't we?
762
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,359
Do you think
we could stop being hyenas?
763
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,359
No-o-o-o-o!
764
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,479
That's fairly clear.
765
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,639
SNARLING CONTINUES
766
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,879
Ah! But I'm a hyena,
I'm not a wildebeest.
767
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,319
This is what wildebeests do.
768
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,399
SHE GIGGLES
769
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,559
This wildebeest is going to escape.
770
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,759
Hyenas have Christmas crackers
that have bones in it.
771
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,759
That's interesting.
Even dog bones in there.
772
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,040
This hyena is quite cold and tired
with...
773
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:07,999
..early stages of arthritis, so...
774
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,479
SHE SNARLS
775
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,319
I tell you what,
it's lovely being a grandad.
776
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,000
I'll have a giddy-up.
Oh, now what?
777
00:33:16,891 --> 00:33:21,879
I don't know whether I'm
a wildebeest or a hyena now.
778
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,519
Do you think maybe it's time
to stop being a hyena now?
779
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,679
No, not yet.
780
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,399
Please can I stop being a hyena now?
No. Please can I?
781
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,320
No. Oh, please. No.
782
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,279
How's work?
783
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,639
Mum said you had a health and safety
course last week. Yeah.
784
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,320
Yeah, I had fun presenting that.
785
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:46,039
You were presenting a health
and safety course? You?
786
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:50,039
Who once drove a ride-on mower
round B&Q?
787
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,759
Great, we're all together,
back on track.
788
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,479
Where's Zara?
789
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,919
Oh, she, er, she spotted
some prey in the garden.
790
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,679
Oh, well.
791
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,199
If any kid can catch a squirrel,
she can.
792
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,879
I'll just go keep an eye on her.
793
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:09,359
I'm going to pass on your
kind offer of lunch, Sue.
794
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,759
I think I'd best be on my way.
795
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:13,879
There are Airbnbs and...
No, you're welcome...
796
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:18,559
No, no, no, this is a family
gathering, and I'm in the way.
797
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:22,639
Must stop being so selfish,
and imagining the whole world
798
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,919
revolves around me
and my chaotic personal life.
799
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,519
Thanks again, and...
800
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,400
I'll see you around.
801
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,559
Well, I'll be jiggered.
Self-awareness.
802
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,439
I'm amazed she managed to work
all that out by herself.
803
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:40,880
She...
804
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,640
She did work it out for herself,
didn't she, Karen?
805
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,039
Well, I...
806
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,439
..may have helped her to initiate..
807
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,920
Karen, I specifically asked you
not to have a word with her.
808
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:03,439
And now she's...
Oh, God! No, no, no, no!
809
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,919
Oh, God, what is wrong with me?
810
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,919
Will someone open the windows
before the smoke alarm goes off?
811
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,919
ALARM BEEPS
Oh, shut up!
812
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,399
Can't believe it!
813
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,479
It's all right, Sue,
it doesn't matter.
814
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,039
Oh, God, what a racket!
What's going on?
815
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,319
Stop! Well, at least we're
getting our own back on next door.
816
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,959
Eh? For all the drilling yesterday.
They're not there.
817
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,959
They went out.
I saw them a few moments ago.
818
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,839
They went out?
819
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,479
Went out and they still haven't
picked up their stupid bloody...
820
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,959
I mean that is outrageous behaviour.
821
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,919
That is outrageous behaviour,
isn't it?
822
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,279
Yes, it is,
but getting upset won't help.
823
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,159
Maybe I should deal with these.
I just... I don't need your help.
824
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:46,519
But you're doing everything.
I'm fine. Yeah, but...
825
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,879
Mum wants to do it herself.
It's not 1956. I'm fine.
826
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,599
Everything's fine.
827
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,719
Everything's under control.
828
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:55,840
SMASHING
829
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,239
It's OK, Sue.
830
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,679
It's fine.
831
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,199
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
832
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,359
The whole day is ruined.
Come on, Mum, why don't you come
833
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,599
and have a sit down over here,
all right?
834
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,359
I just wanted it to be...
I'll clean this up.
835
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:14,319
..you know. I know.
We all know.
836
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,399
Don't worry, Mum. Look, you lot look
after your brilliant mum for a bit.
837
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,239
I've just got to go
and do a quick something.
838
00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:23,399
It's OK. It's really OK.
839
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,919
How does he manage to stay so calm?
840
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,239
Yeah, even if it's a cover,
it's definitely impressive.
841
00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:32,159
No, he really is Zen.
842
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,319
Yeah, Mr Cool. Yeah.
843
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,039
Mm-hm.
844
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,560
Keep expecting him to blow, but...
845
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:47,639
Yeah, he's holding it together
really well.
846
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,439
Yeah.
847
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,799
Oh, my... Pete! Pete!
848
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,839
Dad! What are you doing?
849
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,039
Dad? Are you OK?
Yeah, I've never felt better.
850
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,639
This is the perfect therapy.
851
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,800
What's he...?
852
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,080
HE GROANS
853
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:11,960
All right.
854
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,439
PARCEL CONTENTS SMASH
855
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,360
DOG BARKS
856
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:24,840
SHE GIGGLES
857
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,839
OK, all right, all right, all
right!
858
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,319
So, I'm a stupid person?
Very, very stupid.
859
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,279
Almost an amoeba.
I'm Donald Trump.
860
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,159
No, more stupid.
861
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,559
I'm someone more stupid than Trump?
ALL: Yeah!
862
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,119
Finally! Why are you clapping?
You got it!
863
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:51,439
That's not a specific person!
Yeah, it is. Come on.
864
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,279
OK, OK, everybody.
865
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,359
It's Secret Santa time!
866
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,399
Ben, this is for you.
867
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,559
Hold on, I thought I was doing Ben.
868
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,079
I thought I was.
869
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,359
Well, so did I.
870
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,559
So, er, Ben's getting all
the presents in a Secret Santa
871
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,319
organised by Ben?
872
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,680
Hang on, let me just check.
873
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,040
Oh. Right, I see what I've done.
874
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,159
Never should have used that app.
875
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,800
PHONE ALERT
Oh.
876
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:30,439
It's Howard from next door.
Threatening legal action.
877
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:34,519
"No problem."
878
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,759
Open your present, then. OK.
879
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,279
Yeah, see?
880
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:43,399
I knitted it for your Andes trip
thing, which...
881
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,559
..which you're not going on any
more.
882
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:50,639
Well, actually, I decided
I'm going to go after all.
883
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,559
Oh, great. Oh, that's...
Yeah, good news.
884
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:54,559
Yeah, I chatted it through
with Karen.
885
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,879
But my mates are going to need to
rent my room out while I'm gone,
886
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,239
so when I get back,
I might need somewhere.
887
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:02,799
You know, short term.
You mean...
888
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,360
You mean stay here? Yeah.
889
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,159
Well, that... I mean...
That would be...
890
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,839
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that...
That's fine. Yeah.
891
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:17,559
Actually, um, our landlord wants
to move in back into our flat,
892
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,039
so we're going to need a place
to tide us over.
893
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,879
Oh, you mean... So you...
894
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,479
So you stay here as well?
Yeah.
895
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:26,880
You and Jake and...
896
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,080
..and Zara?
Er, yeah, that's right.
897
00:39:31,081 --> 00:39:34,239
Well, you know, it might be...
Might be a tad cosy.
898
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:36,919
Yeah, that's... Yeah, no,
I should think that would be...
899
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,999
That would be...
Yeah, that would be...
900
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,399
Fine. Mm. Got you!
901
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,239
Oh!
THEY LAUGH
902
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:47,240
Do you know? You have got the best
poker face ever!
903
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,559
See, this is why I love this woman.
904
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:57,119
Well, I'd actually... I'd like
to propose a toast, to Rani.
905
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:01,479
Thank you for completing
our family Christmas.
906
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,599
To Rani.
907
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,199
Well,
it's Karen you should be thanking.
908
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,359
She made a very kind
and persuasive phone call.
909
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,759
Er, yes, well, it was none of your
business, you interfering cow,
910
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,239
but thank you.
911
00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:18,399
SNARLING AND GIGGLING
Oh, hyena's woken up.
912
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,079
I'd like to propose a toast,
913
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:25,639
because, you know, it's easy to
dwell on the bad stuff, because...
914
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,279
..accidents and cancer,
they're out of the ordinary.
915
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,560
But there's the day-to-day stuff,
like...
916
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:37,360
..watching football on the telly,
and beans on toast, and...
917
00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:42,759
..being with your family.
918
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,959
And most of that is really good.
919
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:52,599
So, here's to good old,
underappreciated,
920
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,080
everyday life.
921
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,639
What a load of old crap!
922
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,119
Come on, Dad.
923
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,279
Soppy. Very soppy.
Talk about cheesy!
924
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,120
See? Taking the piss.
Situation normal.
925
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,159
Hello, Miss Hyena.
926
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,599
No, she's not a hyena now.
927
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,599
Some idiot, ie me,
left the iPad in the room,
928
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,279
and someone found a movie
that's too old for her.
929
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,719
Oh, something's up.
930
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,119
Ooh, what's this about?
931
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:26,159
She wants to know if anyone
would like to play Jurassic Park.
932
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,239
You try and stop me!
933
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:30,720
HIGH-PITCHED SNARL
934
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,880
Velociraptor!
935
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,079
I'm a mummy velociraptor.
Look, look...
936
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,679
SHE CRIES
937
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:46,319
No, that's rubbish.
938
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,439
You can be the lawyer who gets
eaten on the toilet.
939
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,999
I don't want to be
the lawyer on the blinking toilet!
940
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,919
I'm a baby velociraptor!
Oh, my God.
941
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,839
Is it a cow? What is that?
A triceratops.
942
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,879
Triceratopses have three horns!
943
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:03,319
I've only got two hands!
A "tri" ceratops. It's three horns.
944
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,759
Well, maybe I'm a disabled
triceratops.
945
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:09,759
Jurassic Park did not feature
a battle between a velociraptor
946
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,879
and a disabled triceratops.
Well, maybe it should have.
947
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,639
That would have been inclusive.
948
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,799
Ah-ah-ah! No biting,
baby velociraptor.
949
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,439
OK. Ow!
950
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,600
OK, let's all... Ow!
951
00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:26,200
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